Safe Harbor

0:00:19 Brennan: Hello one and all, and welcome back to another exciting episode of A Crown of Candy. I am your humble Dungeon Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes!

0:00:30 Everyone: Hi, intrepid heroes. Murph is peering through a rolled-up piece of paper like a spyglass.

0:00:33 Brennan: Oh, wonderful. Last we left off, our heroes had stowed away aboard the Colby, coming from the capital city of Comida, around Pulp Bay, into the Yogurt Shoals, where the Duchess Primsy Coldbottle and Captain Annabelle Cheddar discovered our stowaways and a tense armistice was discussed, an uneasy truce. For indeed, the Dairy Islands could not openly help the secessionist Candians, the excommunicated King and his bastard daughters and the crown prince now of Candia whose father, unbeknownst to him, had entered into open rebellion against the Concord earlier the next day, or rather had always been in open rebellion, but suddenly was king and it mattered a lot more. Found yourself in the Yogurt Shoals, where Primsy Coldbottle related more of her tender courtship with the young Lord Stilton Curdeau of House Bleu.

0:01:37 Siobhan: Boo!

0:01:37 Ally: Boo!

0:01:39 Siobhan: House Boo! (laughing)

0:01:41 Brennan: More like House Boo.

0:01:41 Murph: Thank you!

0:01:44 Brennan: Unsure of whether they should honor the ancient alliance between the Dairy Islands and Candia, their decision-making process was cut short when their ship was scuttled by the Dairy Air in the Yogurt Shoals.

0:01:59 Siobhan: Stupid.

0:02:00 Brennan: In the middle of a pitched storm, no, not stupid, in fact, grate. (laughing)

0:02:07 Brennan: Pitched battle, naval battle in a storm, marauders of House Bleu on either side attempting to assassinate the Duchess Primsy Coldbottle. She was saved at the last minute by the Princess Jet, who shot Stilton Cordeau to the bottom of the ocean--

0:02:23 Emily: The Bastard Jet.

0:02:23 Brennan: The Bastard Jet, that's correct. To the bottom of the ocean. And the crew, minus one sad casualty, lept from the sinking Colby to the deck of the Fondue, La Fondue, where the Captain Annabelle Cheddar was also rescued. Some close calls with going into the Tangy Deep. You are all aboard the La Fondue, sailing through the storm headed for open sea. (raining)

0:02:56 Brennan: All of you, I imagine, try to get below decks as much as possible. Or actually, you know what? I don't think you guys even can. You guys are sailing through the storm. I'm actually gonna go ahead and we're gonna begin this with- I'm gonna need everyone here to pick one of their skills that they wanna do, because most of the Cheddar sailors are down. So, in the middle of (whooshing)

0:03:20 Sailor: (yells) Hey! Get to the rig and hold the sails tight!

0:03:24 Brennan: As dead bodies are washed to and fro by the yogurt coming overboard. There's not enough hands on deck and you guys, even though you don't have any proficiency, are gonna need to try to sail this thing.

0:03:34 Siobhan: Well, I'm gonna tie up ropes, I feel like that's a thing that I can-

0:03:37 Brennan: I'm gonna need a Sleight of Hand check from you. What else is everyone doing on the ship?

0:03:44 Lou: Can I hoist sails?

0:03:46 Brennan: You may absolutely use an Athletics check to hoist sails. Hold on, we're gonna do a group check.

0:03:49 Emily: I'll also do tying up the ropes.

0:03:51 Brennan: We'll get a Sleight of Hand from you.

0:03:53 Zac: Is there an Acrobatics- What would Acrobatics be? (laughs)

0:03:55 Brennan: You tell me, it's not my job to fix the ship!

0:03:59 Emily: Jump to the sail and like, swing it. (mimics motion)

0:04:00 Lou: Wow, Sassy Brennan!

0:04:02 Zac: Climb up and like, try to do something with the sails.

0:04:05 Brennan: Cool, you can give me, I'll ask for a Sleight of Hand from you as well.

0:04:08 Zac: Okay.

0:04:11 Murph: I'll do something that needs Athletics, just brute strength.

0:04:11 Brennan: Cool. I'm just gonna say that you are honestly just hammering away. You'll just give me a raw Strength check to hammer damage from the storm and fix stuff underneath.

0:04:24 Murph: Sweet.

0:04:27 Ally: I'll do some sort of rope pulling, Strength.

0:04:30 Brennan: Cool, you're gonna give me Athletics as well. We need half of us here to beat a- The storm is picking up, I'm gonna say, we'll call it a DC 17, I need half of us here to beat a DC 17.

0:04:43 Siobhan: Can I roll with advantage with Yak?

0:04:46 Brennan: Yes, you can.

0:04:46 Siobhan: Great.

0:04:47 Brennan: And then-

0:04:50 Murph: I got a 19 Strength check.

0:04:50 Zac: Yes!

0:04:52 Emily: 22, oh, 23 Acrobatics.

0:04:52 Brennan: 23?

0:04:55 Siobhan: Got a 21 Sleight of Hand.

0:04:55 Brennan: 21, great!

0:04:55 Zac: 22.

0:04:58 Emily: Oh, it's actually the same, 23 Sleight of Hand.

0:05:00 Ally: 9.

0:05:01 Lou: 8.

0:05:01 Brennan: 8?

0:05:02 Zac: 22.

0:05:03 Brennan: 22, 4 out of 6, that's the majority, group check passes. (whooshing) You watch the last tip of the Colby's mast disappear, and sailing off already in darkness with their alchemical dark vision that murderous crew of the Dairy Air sails off into the storm. Annabelle lights—

0:05:22 Emily: Do we have cannons on this boat? We should cannon them.

0:05:26 Brennan: (laughs) There are no cannons, there are some crossbows around, but mostly these ships are used for boarding and hand-to-hand combat.

0:05:32 Emily: Okay.

0:05:35 Brennan: You sail the La Fondue off. You successfully sail through the storm and as the storm passes and the waters even out Annabelle has lashed herself to the helm, looks over at the rest of the crew and says,

0:05:53 Annabelle: Right, me and Catalan can help the rest of this, all of you can head downstairs and get your rest. It should be smooth after the storm.

0:06:02 Liam: Where are we going?

0:06:02 Jet: Are we still en route to the Dairy Islands? Or perhaps in light of certain events that happened, we might be headed to the Candy Mountains?

0:06:10 Liam: 35 of my sexy parents (laughing) want to spread you like soft cheese on a cracker.

0:06:18 Jet: Also, I saved your cousin!

0:06:20 Ruby: How come Liam isn't a bastard when we're bastards? If Liam's dad has 35 partners—

0:06:29 Liam: See, if you participate in a world where the word “bastard” is used you can easily become a bastard, but I was born into a very fluid and sexually open world where we don't even really use the word bastard.

0:06:41 Jet: I also think the word bastard is pretty cool, so I-

0:06:43 Ruby: I mean, I'm not hating on it. I think it's pretty fun.

0:06:46 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a history check, if you'd be so kind.

0:06:49 Siobhan: Great. That's a 12.

0:06:56 Brennan: You flash back to the conversation that you and Lord Cruller had on the road where you were like, "So, everyone knows we do magic, but nobody says that we do magic?" And he was like, "Yes, politics is everyone knowing something is one way and saying it's another way." The Duke of the Great Stone Candy Mountains has one wife to which he has been married in the Bulbian Church, and he's got 33 other partners that have been handfasted to him in old groves of the Sugar-Plum Fairy and other ancient Sucrosi spirits.

0:07:32 Siobhan: Wait, so is Liam's mom the only one that he's married to in the Bulbian Church?

0:07:37 Brennan: Spearia Mentha is one of the oldest, longest standing partners of Duke Jawbreaker. So, Liam is one of the youngest siblings but does come from the one marriage that happened in a Bulbian Church.

0:07:50 Siobhan: Oh, so you're the heir now.

0:07:54 Brennan: You've got a bunch of brothers ahead of you that are your older bully brothers, but you are pretty directly in line for the throne, but you've got a couple brothers and sisters ahead of you in line.

0:08:04 Liam: I don't really care about the throne, I'm really just on a revenge path right now.

0:08:08 Ruby: Cool. (laughing) I feel it.

0:08:09 Jet: I've been there, but I will tell you that once you see how messed up politics are and you know that you are in one of the rare positions to make a difference, you might start to wonder if you should consider it.

0:08:25 Liam: Hmm.

0:08:26 Zac: Can Cumulous make a- (laughs) I think Cumulous is just going to ask you,

0:08:33 Cumulous: May I see—

0:08:33 Jet: The Christmas cards?

0:08:35 Cumulous: May I see your bow and Christmas cards, if you have them. May I see your bow?

0:08:39 Siobhan: We've been furiously hand-making Christmas cards down in the hold.

0:08:43 Brennan: By the way, High Frosting’s Eve, if you would be so kind.

0:08:46 Siobhan: High Frosting’s Eve.

0:08:46 Emily: High Frosting’s Eve. (laughing)

0:08:48 Siobhan: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm sure it was in an email.

0:08:53 Brennan: [laughs] Lot of lore in this world.

0:08:53 Siobhan: Lot of lore in this one. Yeah, so I show Cumulous the bow.

0:09:00 Zac: I think Cumulous is just going to hold it for a moment and—

0:09:04 Siobhan: I'm doing that thing where you let somebody touch it but you're also almost touching it, you don't want him to really take it away.

0:09:12 Zac: Cumulous just looks at it and cries. (laughing)

0:09:14 Emily: Whoa!

0:09:16 Ally: Wow!

0:09:17 Zac: That one was Archmage—

0:09:17 Brennan: Lazuli's, yeah.

0:09:20 Emily: When you cry does your cotton candy harden?

0:09:22 Zac: Just hard- Sort of like-

0:09:26 Siobhan: Crunchy rivulets.

0:09:26 Brennan: I think Cumulous has the skin on his arms and shins, it almost looks like bracers, but it's actually just his skin that has been treated with a little bit of water to harden his forearms, elbows, knees, and his shins into these hard sugar crusts on his cotton candy body.

0:09:44 Emily: Almost like a Muay Thai fighter.

0:09:46 Siobhan: Oh yeah.

0:09:47 Emily: Wow!

0:09:48 Cumulous: Thank you for letting me see this. It's been many years since I've held—

0:09:52 Ruby: You're welcome.

0:09:53 Siobhan: I grab it. (laughing) Grab it in a way that I'm trying not to be rude, but I don't want anybody else touching it.

0:10:00 Brennan: Everybody here go ahead and give me a Constitution saving throw, if you'd be so kind.

0:10:02 Siobhan: Oh no.

0:10:02 Murph: Jesus.

0:10:04 Siobhan: I got a 19.

0:10:04 Murph: Okay, 4.

0:10:08 Emily: 14.

0:10:09 Zac: 7.

0:10:09 Brennan: Anyone that got less than a 15 begins to just nod off. The attack at the cathedral happened this morning.

0:10:17 Murph: Oh, right.

0:10:17 Siobhan: Right.

0:10:20 Brennan: And you are all getting pneumonia from all the cold milk rain, it's a bad look. It's time to go to sleep.

0:10:27 Emily: Can I fall asleep in a fighting stance?

0:10:29 Brennan: (laughs) Your rapier's just pointed up and out. You get some shifts rigging into your hammock so it's just this rapier kind of, swinging. (laughs)

0:10:37 Emily: Okay, I think-

0:10:37 Murph: I put a cork on her sword before I go to bed. (laughing)

0:10:40 Ally: I think I'm that kind of drunk sleep, so I just go up to Annabelle and I go—

0:10:46 Liam: 35 moms, dads are gonna bang you out.

0:10:52 Annabelle: Right. This has gone from being an offer to a threat. (cast laughing)

0:10:56 Ally: And then I fall asleep right there on the deck.

0:10:58 Brennan: (laughs) The deck just collapsed. Cool. So, Jet and Liam, you guys are passed out. Did anyone else get below a 15?

0:11:06 Zac: I did, but I wasn't in that fight, does that matter?

0:11:09 Brennan: Oh, I think you're probably okay. Your DC's probably a little bit higher. But the rest of you guys, it's not that you're not feeling also the intense, you know- Amethar's been wounded mortally since this morning. Do you guys all go find hammocks? What do you guys do?

0:11:25 Murph: I think I'll probably, before I go to bed, I'll probably talk to Cumulous for a second. And Amethar, you're still up, right?

0:11:31 Lou: No, I'm out.

0:11:31 Murph: You're out, okay. So, just Cumulous.

0:11:34 Siobhan: Then I’ll also go to bed.

0:11:38 Theobald: Cumulous, are there more like you?

0:11:42 Cumulous: There used to be a lot more, but we are… There's a lot less of us now.

0:11:49 Theobald: What's stopping the rest of you from getting through?

0:11:56 Brennan: I can tell you right now that back when the Order of the Spinning Star was at its full strength, you could use your teleportation. Lazuli made these incredible teleportation circles all over Candia that were a network for the monks to travel around in secret. Now the trick with them is basically that they're incredibly dangerous because there's no one left who really knows how to fix them. So, when one of them breaks they just break and can't be fixed. And additionally, because they're a network, as some break, they destabilize all the others. You coming here was because you're one of the strongest warrior monks left, and were most likely to survive the trip. Even you coming here was a risk to your life and limb.

0:12:45 Zac: I guess Cumulous just relays that.

0:12:47 Theobald: Great. But there are more of you. Are they on another plane of existence, or something? How does-

0:12:55 Cumulous: It would be on this plane. We haven't been able to do very much since the Archmage... died. We were created… I don't know how much you wanna know, but-

0:13:15 Theobald: I wanna know everything, yeah.

0:13:19 Cumulous: We were created by the Archmage and after she died, we weren't really able to do anything until Candia ended up going to war. And that released us from certain vows that let us participate in what's happening now.

0:13:39 Theobald: Huh.

0:13:43 Zac: I think Cumulous admires your sword. (laughing)

0:13:46 Murph: Yeah.

0:13:47 Emily: He just wants to touch everyone's weapon.

0:13:48 Theobald: Would you like to look at my sword?

0:13:50 Zac: He picks it up and looks at it, cries a little bit.

0:13:51 Theobald: Yes. The Archmage-

0:13:53 Cumulous: There's magic in this, isn't there?

0:13:55 Theobald: Yes. Archmage Lazuli gave this to me.

0:13:59 Cumulous: It's a fine gift.

0:14:01 Theobald: Yeah, she was (sniffling) pretty rad, I guess. She kinda ruled.

0:14:07 Cumulous: She was my favorite.

0:14:08 Theobald: Yeah, she was my favorite, too. (sniffles)

0:14:10 Cumulous: She had some pretty revelatory ideas about magic.

0:14:15 Theobald: Yeah, she was just really smart, and kind of— [breathes]

0:14:19 Cumulous: So smart.

0:14:19 Theobald: In a way that- Just so smart that you can't help but, you know, you feel like you have a crush on her or something, but then she's so smart that it's just like, oh, you're like this other thing.

0:14:30 Cumulous: She's like in a different thing.

0:14:30 Theobald: She's like a different thing, but then also you respect the work so much that you're like, I just wanna live-

0:14:35 Cumulous: And you wanna be professional, but it’s like-

0:14:35 Theobald: To make your dreams come true, your like, current dream, so like—

0:14:37 Cumulous: You’re an inspiration.

0:14:39 Theobald: Yeah.

0:14:41 Cumulous: You are multifaceted, you have a lot of fa— What were we talking about?

0:14:42 Murph: I hug Cumulous. (laughing) And I burst into tears.

0:14:47 Brennan: You guys hold each other and just work through a lot in these stinking underdecks of this blue cheese ship. Incredible.

0:14:55 Cumulous: Theo? Your name's Theo?

0:14:56 Theobald: Yes, yeah! (laughing)

0:15:00 Emily: My cork-tipped rapier pokes you guys.

0:15:03 Cumulous: Ow.

0:15:03 Theobald: Ow, ow!

0:15:03 Zac: (laughing) I examine your sword.

0:15:09 Jet: Is there magic in it?

0:15:09 Cumulous: [emotional] Yes!

0:15:11 Zac: (laughing) Crying again.

0:15:13 Murph: Cumulous loves magic.

0:15:14 Brennan: You guys awaken the next morning. The Bulb shines brightly in the sky on a pure glistening white milky ocean. Sailors have gathered on deck to have a funeral at sea for their fallen comrade. You see that as they do, Annabelle presides over, speaks a couple words in Lacra. (somber, acoustic guitar funeral music)

0:15:40 Annabelle: She kept the faith. She kept the old ways. The ways of House Cheddar. I release you into the breast of the ocean. Keep sharp, sailor.

0:15:50 Brennan: (whooshes) And away she goes.

0:15:54 Siobhan: I'd like to take the milk silk banner that Primsy made for us and I'd like to tie it to my collar.

0:16:06 Brennan: You tie the milk silk to your collar and Annabelle turns and smiles at you. As you all awaken, your first long rest in quite a while, Captain Annabelle looks to you, the Duchess Coldbottle is still asleep below deck, she was making some death saves there for a little while. But Captain Annabelle comes up to you. You guys are fed a sailor's breakfast. At least this ship was stocked for a full voyage. Annabelle looks and says,

0:16:32 Annabelle: Right, so the good news is we made it through the storm and we are on our way, but our way is a little bit lost. We were blown quite out far to sea, so we are somewhere right now in the far west of the Dairy Sea. Been blown off course, to make it back to Lacramor we'll probably not get there till the 18th day of Brightdusk.

0:17:10 Jet: I mean, I was pretty sure that maybe our path had changed anyways.

0:17:17 Annabelle: I think that that might be very likely.

0:17:22 Brennan: You guys hear some faint footsteps coming up from below decks and you see Primsy Coldbottle comes up holding onto her stomach, which has been bandaged. She walks up and says,

0:17:40 Primsy: Good morning. I would very much like to invite the Royal House of Rocks, Sovereigns of Candia to a parlay in the captain's quarters if you'd be so kind.

0:17:51 Ruby: It would be an honor.

0:17:55 Theobald: It’d be an honor.

0:17:55 Jet: Are bastards invited?

0:17:59 Primsy: Speaking on behalf of the House of Cheddar, sovereign seat of the Dairy Islands, the Dairy Islands does not recognize the excommunication of King Amethar of the House of Rocks.

0:18:10 Liam: Yes!

0:18:15 Ally: I go to high five her.

0:18:17 Primsy: What's that? (laughing)

0:18:19 Liam: It's something my brothers would do, but it's the only thing I liked. Put your hand up, too.

0:18:22 Primsy: Aye. [they high-five] You've struck me. Why have you done this? It was wee and gentle, but you've struck me nonetheless.

0:18:31 Liam: Well, you do it to me, isn't it kinda fun? [they high-five again] [tiny voice] Ah! (laughing)

0:18:37 Primsy: Right.

0:18:38 Liam: I like your bandage.

0:18:40 Primsy: Right, it kept me from dyin'.

0:18:42 Liam: That's great.

0:18:44 Primsy: You were very brave in that fight. You didn't need to see in the dark to fight?

0:18:51 Liam: Mm-mm, I—

0:18:52 Primsy: I saw you do a swan, you shot someone three times in the head and then did a full swan dive off the side, just into the dark, in the ocean!

0:19:01 Liam: It's pretty crazy what really thick grief will do to you. I'm kind of drowning in the middle of a big sea of grief and regret and my obsession with revenge has given me new abilities. [soft, somber string music]

0:19:19 Brennan: She comes over and takes your hand in both of her hands and holds it and says,

0:19:24 Primsy: [seriously] There is a great deal to mourn for and you're not wrong to feel grief. Let's get to the captain's quarters and discuss what must be discussed.

0:19:34 Cumulous: Can distant cousins join?

0:19:37 Jet: Oh yeah, he's in the Christmas card circuit, I mean, the Frostening.

0:19:43 Primsy: High Frosting’s Eve?

0:19:43 Jet: High Frosting’s Eve. He's in the High Frostings Eve card circuit.

0:19:47 Ruby: Frosting is also a Dairy Islands tradition, right?

0:19:51 Primsy: Aye, ‘tis.

0:19:51 Ruby: It's a blending of Dairy and Candia.

0:19:52 Primsy: ‘Tis. Aye. ‘Tis a tradition there as well. So, what we would like is to have you come down, we'll have some tea and we'll serve some more small sandwiches and make it nice.

0:20:07 Ruby: Lovely!

0:20:08 Theobald: Alright.

0:20:09 Brennan: You guys all go down to the captain's quarters where you speak. Annabelle and Primsy are both there.

0:20:15 Jet: Primsy, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about Stilton.

0:20:23 Primsy: Right. Young love is hard, and… I dinnae expect for my wedding day to end with my new husband boarding my sinking ship and stabbing me through the stomach to inherit my throne that he had only become entitled to less than 12 hours before. But you live and you learn.

0:20:46 Ruby: You live and you learn.

0:20:48 Jet: You honestly are thriving in adversity.

0:20:52 Liam: Yeah, that's a lot of closure to get in four hours.

0:20:55 Ruby: I think you might be a war guy!

0:20:57 Primsy: Right, well, no, I'm a war gal.

0:21:01 Jet: Yes, you are, yes you are.

0:21:01 Primsy: Yes, I am, that's right.

0:21:03 Jet: Me too.

0:21:03 Primsy: (laughing) That's great.

0:21:06 Cumulous: I'm a war guy. (laughing)

0:21:09 Murph: Cumulous is just a war guy, yeah.

0:21:13 Brennan: She looks and says,

0:21:13 Primsy: So- Brennan drops a die off of the table and onto the floor.

0:21:13 Brennan: Oh!

0:21:17 Siobhan: Wow, you really Ally'd that dice.

0:21:19 Ally: [offended] Ay!

0:21:19 Lou: What?

0:21:19 Siobhan: Ay!

0:21:20 Brennan: What the fuck? (cast laughing)

0:21:23 Siobhan: I've just been waiting. I've been waiting for somebody to throw the dice up so I could say it. Just some light bullying.

0:21:29 Emily: Ally hasn't dropped a single die this season.

0:21:31 Ally: Yeah!

0:21:31 Siobhan: I know. Ally, you've done a really good job at not messing up.

0:21:35 Ally: Sure, maybe I practice at home. (cast laughing)

0:21:40 Brennan: So, you see that Primsy looks up and says,

0:21:43 Primsy: The loyalty and bravery of the House of Rocks and of the Candian people cannot be overlooked and clearly fidelity to the faith and devotion to the Bulbian Church does not a good man make, or else my departed husband— (in a high-pitched voice) Oh, I'm a widow!

0:22:10 Ruby: Well, no, it doesn't—

0:22:11 Jet: See, widow, bastard, these are all very fun things to become.

0:22:15 Ruby: Does it count as a widow if you never—

0:22:16 Jet: Or embrace.

0:22:18 Ruby: It's sort of like an annulment, but more permanent.

0:22:20 Primsy: Right, well, that's true, we never consummated. So, oh, I guess I'm just back on the market.

0:22:25 Ruby: Hey, single and ready to mingle.

0:22:26 Primsy: Yeah, no baggage at all, that's nice. (Emily laughing) Right, well, I will say this, it is clear that professed faith to the Bulb above does not a good man make and the rumors of… Candia's practice of witchcraft have been proven true and yet, it has not made them anything less than virtuous, which to the enterprising mind would beg the question “if it is true that a witch can be virtuous, then what does that make the Church's position on witchcraft?” A strong question indeed. So, what I would like to ask is what occurred following the events of the Grand Tournament? And how can we see Candia made whole without the destruction of your lands and mine? Long pause.

0:23:41 Amethar: Great question.

0:23:44 Jet: We might need another plate of sandwiches to get through this one.

0:23:46 Lou: May cut one more. Primsy claps for another plate of sandwiches.

0:23:49 Brennan: Annabelle speaks up and says,

0:23:51 Annabelle: Right, well, look: let's start with what happened after the tournament and what happened at the cathedral. Sir Morris wrote his letter with very little amount of time left, so I didn't get much, but what happened?

0:24:07 Amethar: Quite simply, I was married to a commoner from the Dairy Islands and they used that to… excommunicate me from the Church.

0:24:25 Jet: But this is after a Bulbian Church assassination attempt on my father's life.

0:24:30 Amethar: Yeah, that's right.

0:24:32 Annabelle: Right. You were excommunicated for adultery alone? That seems like a strange—

0:24:38 Theobald: Well, technically for breaking the oath of marriage.

0:24:45 Annabelle: Right. You entered into a false oath when you married Queen Caramelinda.

0:24:51 Amethar: Yeah.

0:24:52 Theobald: So then, the king is now technically Liam's father and Candia's now at war.

0:25:05 Ruby: Did mom know?

0:25:07 Amethar: What? That I was married before?

0:25:08 Ruby: Mhm.

0:25:10 Amethar: No. Nobody knew.

0:25:13 Jet: Well, Mom was married before.

0:25:16 Ruby: Yeah, but she died. It's different.

0:25:20 Jet: I don't know.

0:25:21 Brennan: You see, Annabelle looks up and says,

0:25:22 Annabelle: The Queen Caramelinda was wed before? To whom?

0:25:27 Amethar: My sister. She was promised to Lazuli and… When she passed, alliances needed to be held. I was expected to marry her.

0:25:48 Annabelle: Right. And you never said anything to Caramelinda, nor to your sisters?

0:26:02 Amethar: My sisters knew, but it was during the war and the thought was that it would be handled when the war was over and also that it wouldn't be a problem because I was so far down the line of succession, but when the war came to an end and my sister laid dead on the ground, I was the only one left to take the throne.

0:26:29 Annabelle: Did you not try to find Catherine Ghee?

0:26:35 Amethar: Attempts were made right after the war, but we never could.

0:26:39 Jet: She disappeared?

0:26:42 Brennan: Annabelle speaks up and crosses her arms and says,

0:26:45 Annabelle: Well, we already know that the Dairy Islands were hit perhaps harder than any other kingdom during the Ravening War. It's not uncommon for entire islands to have been slaughtered, nor was it uncommon for entire islands to flee when marauders of Meat Landers and Ceresians would come. A commoner, someone with the surname Ghee would probably have had the sense to flee there, especially if there was reason for them to think they would have been a target. Being married to royalty in the midst of a war can be a dangerous occupation of sorts.

0:27:19 Amethar: That was the thought.

0:27:22 Annabelle: Well, there's a difference between Candian scouts looking through the Dairy Islands and Dairy Islanders themselves. There are small spits of Cheeseland out in the milk where only our ships know to find them, so if Catherine Ghee is out there somewhere, we can set sail a ship to find her.

0:27:45 Amethar: Sorry, what?

0:27:48 Annabelle: The Dairy Islands will help you in this regard and if it were to be a point in your standing with the Church to have that marriage be annulled, we will help you find Catherine Ghee, if only to even ask questions.

0:28:00 Jet: I mean, do you really want to find- You've kinda got a thing going with Jet and Ruby and-

0:28:09 Amethar: I mean-

0:28:09 Ruby: (singing) Jet and Ruby.

0:28:10 Jet: And mom.

0:28:10 Amethar: I would never. It would never be a question of-

0:28:11 Ruby: (singing) And Amethar!

0:28:12 Amethar: You're my daughters and I love you. I mean, this is a lot, but in general it would be strategic to find Catherine Ghee for the annulment.

0:28:27 Annabelle: Right, well, at least the annulment would mean that you could enter into a marriage with Caramelinda now and it would not erase the past 18, 20 years of your life, but some could be made whole and right in the eyes of the Church.

0:28:49 Amethar: I mean, that’s worth a shot.

0:28:52 Brennan: She nods and says,

0:28:52 Annabelle: Right, well, we can send out scouts and ships as fast as we can when we return to Lacramor.

0:28:57 Brennan: Primsy speaks up and says,

0:28:58 Primsy: How did the Pontifex know, if the only people that knew were you and your sisters who all died 20 years ago?

0:29:07 Amethar: We needed a witness and Manta Ray Jack was my best friend at the time.

0:29:19 Annabelle: Manta Ray. That's why he was gone. That's Morris' letter.

0:29:20 Amethar: Yeah.

0:29:22 Annabelle: How did they find out that—

0:29:25 Amethar: That I don't know.

0:29:27 Theobald: The priest who married you, perhaps?

0:29:27 Ruby: She was doing magic, so maybe she did magic to find it out.

0:29:32 Liam: Didn't you say you found a bunch of secrets in some crazy vault?

0:29:37 Jet: Yes, we found secrets, but we did not find any Candian secrets—

0:29:41 Ruby: Well, that we know.

0:29:41 Jet: At least that is what the senator-

0:29:44 Ruby: It could've been that Senator Ciabatta found the secrets-

0:29:47 Jet: And he told us that there wasn't.

0:29:49 Ruby: I should've picked his pocket.

0:29:51 Theobald: Yes, because-

0:29:51 Liam: Didn't you find scary stuff about milk silk?

0:29:55 Ruby: No, they were using the recipe for milk silk to make—

0:29:58 Jet: To make water daggers.

0:29:58 Ruby: Water daggers. It's the same recipe.

0:30:02 Theobald: At the time that we were ambushed, just before that it was suggested by the Lady Plumbeline that Senator Ciabatta be made emperor, we have reason to believe that he may have stolen some Candian secrets and this all may be connected to Ceresia.

0:30:29 Jet: I'm sorry, Dad, we didn't even-

0:30:31 Ruby: We didn't know.

0:30:32 Amethar: Girls, these are my mistakes, not yours.

0:30:38 Brennan: You see that she-

0:30:38 Ruby: Our mistakes. Because they affect us.

0:30:40 Amethar: Okay, but I made them.

0:30:43 Jet: They're Theobald's mistakes!

0:30:45 Amethar: Okay, definitely not. (laughing)

0:30:45 Theobald: Yeah, they are, my king. [kneels]

0:30:47 Amethar: No, Theobald, up, up.

0:30:49 Theobald: Your mistakes are my mistakes.

0:30:49 Cumulous: [very seriously, to Amethar] Do you want me to kill him?

0:30:50 Amethar: I physically- no! Cumulous!

0:30:53 Theobald: Cumulous, if you must.

0:30:53 Amethar: You really are a war guy. God damn.

0:30:56 Liam: Can I just say how weird it is to be about to marry a woman and she passes, so you marry her younger brother. That's a crazy pivot, right?

0:31:04 Amethar: Yeah, it was.

0:31:06 Liam: How did that work?!

0:31:06 Amethar: It was really weird and strange, but the alliance, I mean, Candia was fractured by the war and we needed to remain whole and a marriage needed to happen.

0:31:19 Ruby: Oh, Jet, what does your book say about the Ramsian Doctrine?

0:31:23 Emily: Oh, if we have downtime I would love to play with my alchemical supplies and read my book.

0:31:27 Brennan: You got 18 days of downtime while you guys find your course and get back sailing east.

0:31:33 Murph: I have good Hstory, I'd love to help Jet go through her book.

0:31:36 Brennan: We'll end this scene, though, by Annabelle looks at you and says,

0:31:38 Annabelle: Wait a minute, so the Lady Plumbeline named Senator Ciabatta as the successor, so why isn't Ciabatta on the Concordant Throne?

0:31:48 Ruby: Because she lied.

0:31:48 Annabelle: How did people find out?

0:31:52 Jet: Because of the Book of Lazuli.

0:31:55 Theobald: No, the Book of—

0:31:55 Jet: Citrone.

0:31:56 Theobald: Citrina.

0:31:56 Ruby: Citrina.

0:31:58 Brennan: You see that she says,

0:32:01 Annabelle: So wait, all right, so… If she was working with the Pontifex and she said “Senator Ciabatta” and then touched the book and then said it wasn't him, wouldn't she have known that this was the game the whole time? Maybe this was a plot to prevent Senator Ciabatta from being the one person that we could confirm was not to be successor?

0:32:28 Ruby: Ah, this is making my head hurt.

0:32:30 Annabelle: Aye, politics is bad.

0:32:33 Brennan: You see that-

0:32:33 Jet: This is why I resisted the necessity to rule.

0:32:39 Brennan: You see that Annabelle says,

0:32:41 Annabelle: If only we knew who the Emperor had actually named successor before he died.

0:32:46 Liam: We do! Amethar.

0:32:48 Theobald: We were there.

0:32:50 Amethar: Yeah, it's me.

0:32:53 Annabelle: ...So you are the Concordant Emperor?

0:32:56 Theobald: Should be.

0:32:56 Amethar: I mean, in theory.

0:33:00 Annabelle: Did you not- When you had your hand on the book, did they ask you—

0:33:03 Amethar: No, they asked me about—

0:33:05 Liam: That's when they swapped in the question.

0:33:07 Amethar: I should have said it, I shouldn't just have answered-

0:33:08 Theobald: It was an ambush.

0:33:08 Amethar: The question. They got us. (Brennan laughing)

0:33:15 Ruby: It was a real gotcha moment.

0:33:15 Amethar: It was a gotcha.

0:33:18 Theobald: I would say we were bamboozled.

0:33:19 Ruby: Mhh, yeah.

0:33:20 Amethar: One could say we were punked. Brennan is wiggling his eyebrows at the camera.

0:33:22 Ruby: Yeah, we absolutely got punked.

0:33:23 Theobald: I would say hoodwinked.

0:33:23 Jet: I would say we got dunked on-

0:33:24 Liam: It was great. The Pontifex was wearing a trucker hat—

0:33:28 Amethar: And ran out with a boom boom behind her.

0:33:29 Liam: There's a camera, there's a camera.

0:33:32 Cumulous: It's almost as if the Bulbian Church is a mortal institution that will do anything to keep its power.

0:33:35 Liam: Mm-hm.

0:33:39 Jet: Do you wanna play with my weapon?

0:33:41 Cumulous: [whispering rapturously] Yes. (cast laughing) Cumulous holds Jet’s sword out, staring at it in amazement.

0:33:44 Liam: I like your vibe!

0:33:45 Brennan: You see that Primsy looks at you and says,

0:33:48 Primsy: The title of Concordant Emperor is not an inherited title and it cannot be stripped through excommunication. The Pontifex does not have the authority to remove the Concordant Emperor from power.

0:34:04 Ruby: She has the authority by power, though. 'Cause she just did it.

0:34:09 Primsy: But... laws... and such.

0:34:09 Theobald: I agree.

0:34:12 Liam: She had the whole army against us.

0:34:15 Jet: I personally agree. I think that my personal issues with the Bulb aside, it seems as though the workings of the Bulbian Church contradict a lot of the more virtuous beliefs of the Bulb and the Church should be dismantled brick by brick.

0:34:33 Ruby: Yeah, that broccoli lady sucks.

0:34:35 Cumulous: Yes.

0:34:35 Amethar: Yeah, she does—

0:34:36 Liam: That fucking carrot.

0:34:37 Amethar: I tried to kill her. I mean, we tried to kill her. We came close.

0:34:39 Ruby: Yeah, we got close.

0:34:41 Theobald: Everyone go easy, right?

0:34:41 Ruby: We all got a good hit in.

0:34:42 Cumulous: So, the plan is to kill everyone in the Church.

0:34:44 Theobald: No!

0:34:45 Ruby: Yes!

0:34:45 Liam: Yes!

0:34:46 Brennan: You see the two Dairy ladies start to kind of draw a little bit back.

0:34:50 Theobald: No, we're good!

0:34:50 Liam: I'm gonna slice that carrot's face off.

0:34:53 Theobald: We're gonna slice the carrot's face off, that’s true.

0:34:54 Ruby: Yeah, the carrot absolutely.

0:34:55 Amethar: The carrot's gonna get fucked up.

0:34:56 Ruby: Yeah, and the broccoli lady.

0:34:57 Theobald: The Pontifex did—

0:34:57 Jet: The Pontifex—

0:34:59 Ruby: I'm not giving her a title, she's not worthy of it.

0:35:01 Jet: Pontifex is Pontifucked. (Brennan laughing)

0:35:04 Ruby: Nice, alright. In that context I like it.

0:35:05 Theobald: Yes.

0:35:06 Brennan: Annabelle says,

0:35:06 Annabelle: Right, well, we can comb the Dairy Islands for Catherine Ghee and for this Father Belford. Sir Morris was able to rescue Manta Ray, so we should at least be able to get some answers there, hopefully. And if we can get you- if there's some way to get that relic, to get the Book of Saint Citrina, we could at least confirm that you are the Emperor of the Concord and that any act of war against Candia was done without the say so of the Emperor.

0:35:47 Theobald: Right.

0:35:48 Liam: We would have to maybe use the book obviously to prove that you, but maybe with Plumbelina as well, right? She was the other person in the room.

0:35:55 Annabelle: Aye. And the Pontifex herself.

0:35:56 Ruby: Yes.

0:35:58 Annabelle: Head of the Church, though she might be, she is not above the law of the Bulb.

0:36:02 Ruby: Yeah, make her pay.

0:36:02 Liam: I wanna make the Pontifex answer a question about the Bulb.

0:36:07 Jet: Oh, I would love to just get her hand on that book.

0:36:09 Liam: Do you use the Bulb for power?

0:36:11 Jet: And she has to say everything.

0:36:13 Cumulous: Yes.

0:36:13 Liam: Yeah.

0:36:15 Ruby: Oh, I should've taken that book. We didn't have time.

0:36:18 Theobald: I think considering everything that's at play here, I wonder if it's possible that there are many nations working together to dismantle the empire. The fact that they haven't named a new Emperor, or aren't trying to, makes me think that people are-

0:36:40 Ruby: Well, we don't know if they've named a new Emperor 'cause we've been out at sea.

0:36:41 Liam: It's been a day, yeah.

0:36:43 Amethar: But I think-

0:36:43 Theobald: True.

0:36:45 Amethar: Theobald is onto something, in that maybe they don't intend to name the new Emperor and that the Pontifex will serve in some sort of supervisory role indefinitely.

0:36:56 Ruby: Or maybe the Pontifex would be-

0:36:57 Liam: I mean, they were trying to get Curd, right? Curdeau?

0:37:00 Ruby: Curdeau.

0:37:03 Jet: They wanted—

0:37:04 Liam: They were trying to get him, maybe.

0:37:05 Jet: They were trying to get him to be—

0:37:06 Liam: They might not know that he's dead yet.

0:37:08 Jet: Oh, that is what we forgot to tell you!

0:37:09 Liam: (gasping) Oh!

0:37:10 Cumulous: That other ship-

0:37:10 Jet: Primsy, you were supposed to be the Emperor!

0:37:11 Liam: Disguise Self, Curdeau. We go back. (Siobhan does an exaggerated fake French laugh)

0:37:15 Cumulous: There's already a boat with other sailors on-

0:37:18 Ruby: Oh, you're right.

0:37:18 Liam: Huh, yeah, you're right.

0:37:20 Ruby: Mh, dang!

0:37:21 Brennan: Primsy looks at you and says,

0:37:23 Primsy: Right, I knew the word that- I knew that the Emperor was likely to choose Amethar as his successor and I told that to Stilton and- Rather, I- I do not know what Stilton was up to, but I do know that he was ambitious and that his vows he had taken in youth were in his way because it meant he could not marry and that that was a priority for him, but I thought- I don't know, sometimes it felt like he wanted to marry for love and other times it felt like he wanted to be able to sit on the throne side by side. And I did not fault him for it before I knew what type of man he truly was. Right, well, I do not know what roles Stilton played in all of these plots of schemes, but I do know this, that we will stand by our Candian allies. We owe you our lives and though we are perhaps the smallest, or not as small as Candia maybe, but the second smallest and much less magical, we will stand by Candia.

0:38:48 Ruby: Thank you.

0:38:51 Jet: Thank you.

0:38:51 Theobald: Thank you, Duchess.

0:38:52 Lou: I kneel.

0:38:52 Murph: Yeah.

0:38:54 Brennan: She performs a deep curtsy and says,

0:38:58 Primsy: Rise, Your Majesty.

0:39:03 Brennan: You guys sail. You guys have a bunch of downtime. What are you guys going to do in your downtime?

0:39:13 Emily: I have two academic pursuits. (laughing) One of them is I would like to continue to look for- in my banned books I've discovered the Prophidian Prophecy, but I would now like to look for the Ramsian Doctrine.

0:39:28 Brennan: You have the information in that book, if you remember. Go ahead and give me a history roll. Give me History, Arcana, and- Give me History, Arcana and Religion. And I will say that because you got all the time in the world, I'll let you assign the rolls that you roll to the skills that you want.

0:39:51 Emily: Okay.

0:39:51 Murph: Can I-

0:39:52 Brennan: You can help on each of them.

0:39:53 Murph: 'Cause I'd like to help, yeah.

0:39:54 Emily: Okay, yeah, 'cause I have plus 1 to each of them. Okay. Oh, I should've done it-

0:40:02 Siobhan: Do-

0:40:04 Emily: 'Cause they're-

0:40:04 Siobhan: The ones that-

0:40:05 Emily: Advantage. Oh yeah, I'll do the lowest ones. Lowest ones, highest ones. Okay. Okay, so I got 13 on each of them.

0:40:18 Brennan: Okay.

0:40:18 Lou: Amazing!

0:40:20 Brennan: What you find across those skills is—

0:40:26 Murph: Can I Help? I have a plus 5 to History. Can I take one of those with mine?

0:40:31 Brennan: Yeah, just give me a History roll.

0:40:33 Murph: Okay.

0:40:33 Brennan: Just give me a History roll.

0:40:37 Murph: 20.

0:40:37 Brennan: Okay. So, the Prophidian Heresy is this old thing that we know. It's a theodicy, it's a way of explaining the presence of evil in the world. And there was a period of time where there was a very popular sect. These Veguit priests would basically come along and say The Hungry One and the Bulb are equally powerful because if they weren't it would mean that the Bulb was allowing the presence of evil to exist in the world and that can't be. However, the implication that the Bulb was less than all powerful did not survive very long in the larger halls of the Church. And eventually that was declared a heresy and the people that wouldn't renounce that doctrine were executed and killed. In this book you find notice of a priest named Bartholomew Brocclepatch that was an old archdeacon somewhere off in Vegetania. And you find name— where, he was the one who first granted ecclesiastical orders to a young Belizabeth Brassica. So, was her mentor. He was killed for a belief in the Prophidian Heresy. He would not renounce that belief, he tried to find a way to make it more palatable, or make it work within the theology of the Church and it never quite happened. The Ramsian Doctrine is something you find, it's not a theodicy, it's not about Church philosophy as much as it is about Church cosmology. So, the first belief is kinda this moral ethical belief, the second one is about what's going to happen, some old school blood and fire, sort of Gospel of Revelations type stuff. The Ramsian Doctrine is a belief concerning Eschatology. It's about how the world ends. And— (intense music)

0:42:39 Emily: This is awesome. (laughing)

0:42:46 Brennan: What it says is that the final destruction of The Hungry One by the Bulb and the final salvation of all souls cannot occur until The Hungry One devours the world. And the Ramsian Doctrine is the belief that there are certain souls that are delicious and healthy. It's old Bulbosi words that are hard to understand. A lot of the language is so old that it's hard, one of them means healthy-

0:43:24 Siobhan: I speak Bulbosi.

0:43:27 Brennan: You speak Bulbosi. So, you're translating it. The words are really weird 'cause it means spiritually healthy, but the actual technical translation is locally-sourced farm-to-table. (laughing) And fresh greens, healthy. There's a lot of stuff like that in there that's sort of an interesting thing. But basically, it says that the other type of souls, the word, it's like a curse word in old Bulbosi, which for a celestial type language it's weird to have a curse word in it. But there's a curse word in it. The word for food and people in Bulbosi is interchangeable and there's a word that basically means the worst type of trash, like refuse people. Or it could be translated as refuse people or junk food.

0:44:17 Emily: Is the curse word junk food?

0:44:18 Brennan: The curse word is junk food. And basically what it says is the presence of junk food in the world is what is preventing The Hungry One from devouring the world because it wants a healthy meal. And as a result of that, until those people that are junk are removed from the world, the final salvation cannot happen.

0:44:49 Murph: Oh no.

0:44:49 Siobhan: That's bad.

0:44:52 Emily: I just really quickly scan to see if there's any prophecies about the Bastard Jet.

0:44:58 Brennan: Just give me a little Arcana roll, if you'd be so kind.

0:45:03 Emily: 15.

0:45:04 Brennan: Give it a quick scan. You might wanna come back later 'cause there could be a secret cipher, or it could be every third letter.

0:45:09 Emily: Okay. I get deep into that.

0:45:10 Brennan: Okay. You got time.

0:45:14 Theobald: I actually have a scroll for you, if you want to add some things to it. Right now I have the Princess Jet of House Rocks, First of Her Name, Duchess of Gumberly, Lady of the Realm. Would you like me to add Bastard of the Realm?

0:45:26 Jet: Yes, I would like you to cross everything else out.

0:45:29 Theobald: Everything else?

0:45:29 Jet: And just say—

0:45:30 Liam: Lady Jet, Bastard of the Realm.

0:45:31 Jet: Bastard Jet. Lady Jet, Bastard of the Realm.

0:45:33 Theobald: At your command, Your Bastard Highness.

0:45:35 Ruby: Can you add Bastard of the Realm, Master Acrobatess to mine? (Emily laughing)

0:45:43 Liam: You know, you gotta update your scrolls every once in a while.

0:45:45 Zac: I think Cumulous wants to grab the Candians to, not physically grab them, just to have—

0:45:52 Amethar: Get off me!

0:45:52 Cumulous: Ha-cha!

0:45:55 Zac: To have a chat with them.

0:45:58 Siobhan: Great, because-

0:45:58 Cumulous: Come in here, please. (laughing)

0:46:03 Liam: This is a really small closet.

0:46:04 Cumulous: Yes.

0:46:05 Ruby: It's really tiny.

0:46:05 Theobald: There's so many of us.

0:46:07 Ruby: There's a lot of dried fish in here.

0:46:08 Jet: There's a conference room-

0:46:08 Theobald: I'm really big.

0:46:10 Jet: That we can really easily use.

0:46:11 Ruby: There's a beautiful conference room on this ship.

0:46:12 Cumulous: Squeeze in.

0:46:12 Theobald: All right, we'll squeeze in.

0:46:14 Zac: Cumulous just like, sucks into the corner of the room.

0:46:18 Amethar: I'm just gonna stand in the doorway. It doesn't feel like there's room for me in this small closet.

0:46:22 Cumulous: Squeeze in.

0:46:23 Amethar: No. Okay. (groans and elbows Cumulous)

0:46:29 Cumulous: It appears to me that you all don't fully understand what is happening in this world. And what is actually important.

0:46:43 Ruby: Okay.

0:46:43 Jet: Okay.

0:46:44 Liam: Killing the carrot.

0:46:44 Jet: Some big words.

0:46:46 Cumulous: Killing the carrot is-

0:46:46 Liam: Number one.

0:46:51 Cumulous: Important. I think that would be not unimportant.

0:46:54 Liam: Great.

0:46:57 Cumulous: But from what I understand from what the Archmage has told me and what I've learned from her and our order has learned, is that the magic of Candia and the people, it's not innate, we are not normally magical. It is something that has been tended to by our organization, the Spinning Star, for many years in secret. The stones that people worship, the Sugar-Plum Fairy, all of those things that people draw magic from are curated by us. And so, that's where the magic of Candia comes from.

0:47:53 Amethar: You gotta slow down. Did you just say that the Sugar-Plum Fairy, the like, I don't know, kinda spirit of our world, you curated her?

0:48:09 Cumulous: That is a source of magic that is present on our land. There are others, but that is one of them that's maybe the most powerful. But that… That's just something going on specifically in Candia. Other lands have magic that they just have not tended to and that's why it has been lost.

0:48:32 Jet: Does the Church see magic as being one of the causes of turning food into junk food? Am I allowed to say junk food? Cumulous gasps in shock.

0:48:37 Murph: I gasp.

0:48:42 Liam: Watch your mouth.

0:48:43 Ruby: That was really cool.

0:48:45 Cumulous: The Church knows- The Bulb is real, the Bulb is a real source of power and same with The Hungry One, they are two sides to the same coin, but the Church knows that their power comes from other people not having magic. And so, they have moved to destroy it wherever they can find it.

0:49:12 Ruby: (gasps) Selfish.

0:49:16 Cumulous: We were created as a reaction to the Bulbosi Church.

0:49:21 Murph: I think Theo's having flashbacks of Lazuli saying similar things to him.

0:49:28 Theobald: Can you still speak to Lazuli Rocks? Does she still exist in some way?

0:49:36 Ruby: I've seen her.

0:49:37 Brennan: [to Murph and Zac] That's news to both of you, that Ruby just said that.

0:49:41 Theobald: You've seen her outside of your one vision when you were-

0:49:44 Ruby: Yeah, I see her all the time.

0:49:46 Cumulous: You see her all the time?

0:49:46 Amethar: All the time?

0:49:48 Ruby: In reflections in mirrors when I do magic, when I am thinking about my past all the time, I keep on seeing her. She doesn't talk to me, not really. It's only flashes, but—

0:49:59 Zac: I think Cumulous just kinda holds his necklace.

0:50:04 Lou: Yeah, I think this is a hard moment.

0:50:06 Emily: Did you tell me this, or no?

0:50:08 Siobhan: Probably in our little twin moments.

0:50:10 Emily: Yeah, okay. I have no reaction.

0:50:12 Siobhan: 'Cause I saw Rococoa as well.

0:50:13 Emily: Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you told me that, right.

0:50:15 Cumulous: Well, that's amazing. What I know is that we have to protect the magic in this world and for it to survive, Candia must survive. And so, we have to protect Candia.

0:50:31 Liam: But how do we fight such a selfish, power-hungry giant group of religious zealots?

0:50:42 Ruby: Who have everybody in Calorum under their thumb?

0:50:47 Amethar: We fight them the same way you fight anything else. I don't know, with swords, shields, strength, allies, friends, with hard work, late nights.

0:51:01 Theobald: I like the latter part of this, yeah. (Amethar laughs)

0:51:04 Theobald: I do think that considering all that we've learned today, it's possible that the Pontifex is, based on Jet's research- It's possible that the Pontifex is directly working for The Hungry One. And if that-

0:51:18 Cumulous: The Hungry One- I draw my strength from The Hungry One.

0:51:24 Amethar: (laughing) I'm sorry.

0:51:24 Theobald: So then, this is-

0:51:29 Liam: Whoa.

0:51:29 Cumulous: All of it is just- They're sources of power. It doesn’t mean... I do not worship The Hungry One, I am just able to tap into its power and I have a feeling that she does not worship the Bulb, but she is able to tap into its powers.

0:51:47 Theobald: Right.

0:51:48 Brennan: You look at that eschatology. Jet, you understand that what that eschatology is, it is a warped vision. The Ramsian Doctrine is rooting for the Bulb to win and it says that the Bulb can't win until the world is destroyed and the world can't be destroyed until The Hungry One eats it and The Hungry One won't eat something that's unhealthy. So, literally-

0:52:16 Jet: So, we need to fill this world with junk food.

0:52:20 Brennan: A little bit of Candian magic and sweet sugary, high-fat treats swirls around you in a little burst of magic.

0:52:29 Theobald: I think… I think that's it.

0:52:33 Liam: Well, let's think. How would we-

0:52:34 Ruby: But do we want the world to end?

0:52:36 Jet: No!

0:52:38 Amethar: No, we're preventing the world from ending.

0:52:39 Jet: That's why we're preventing the world from ending!

0:52:41 Liam: If we sprinkle a little Candian everywhere, like zucchini bread and then a donut, some sort of sweet-

0:52:48 Jet: Bacon on chocolate is delicious.

0:52:49 Liam: Yes, bacon on chocolate. Ice cream.

0:52:52 Theobald: I think also, the reason the Bulb has so much power is because people think that the Pontifex has ultimate moral authority and once we can prove that wrong-

0:53:04 Liam: Yeah, I agree with that a little bit more, 'cause if we're going off of this Ramsian Doctrine, trying to prove it, we shouldn't play that game, it's just so unbelievably fake. I feel like you have to ask, who benefits from this? Who wrote it?

0:53:17 Jet: Yeah.

0:53:18 Liam: Of course a healthy country wrote a doctrine that said there shouldn't be anything unhealthy in the world, we need to get rid of it. It's just completely bullshit.

0:53:28 Ruby: There's strength in sweetness.

0:53:30 Liam: Yes.

0:53:32 Brennan: You guys sail the rest of the way to Lacramor. Many enemies conspire against you on the mainland, but some clarity has come to you. The shadowy forces at the edges of your lives gain some definition as you understand more about how and why these machinations have come to pass. As you sail east through the Dairy Sea, Captain Annabelle Cheddar arrives at a certain point in the Islands and says,

0:54:08 Annabelle: Right, I'll leave it in your careful hands. We can sail to Lacramor, or we can bring you straight to the Cola River and to the port there.

0:54:24 Liam: Cola River.

0:54:24 Jet: To the Cola River.

0:54:25 Amethar: We'll go to the Cola River and-

0:54:27 Ruby: Drink some milk Coke.

0:54:27 Jet: Oh, like cream Coke?

0:54:30 Amethar: You send out some allies to find Catherine Ghee, and upon receiving anything, you let us know.

0:54:37 Brennan: You guys sail southeast. You arrive at the mouth of the Cola River where the Coca-Cola mixes with the milk [laughing] into big chunky curds.

0:54:50 Ally: It's like a root beer float!

0:54:51 Murph: It's like a root beer float, yeah.

0:54:52 Brennan: Oh, yes, it's a big-

0:54:52 Murph: It's a Coke float.

0:54:53 Lou: Coke float, that's not a disgusting thing, it's delicious.

0:54:56 Cumulous: Quickly, drink it fast! (cast laughing)

0:54:59 Siobhan: It's so fizzy.

0:54:59 Liam: Whoa, are you okay? Cumulous slurps the river.

0:55:04 Siobhan: Out at the edge.

0:55:04 Ally: Like when you see a friend eat for the first time and realize they eat like a maniac. You're just like.

0:55:08 Emily: Oh, shit, is that me?

0:55:10 Siobhan: Yeah, we're all talking about you behind your back.

0:55:12 Ally: I mean, you did snog brie down.

0:55:15 Zac: Snog brie?

0:55:16 Lou: You snogged it, dude, straight up. You didn't eat it. Emily pretends to shovel food into her mouth.

0:55:18 Siobhan: Fuckin' made out with that brie and then put it back.

0:55:20 Brennan: You guys see, well, thankfully, if you were worried about Imperial soldiers or enemies somewhere like that, you guys arrive at Port Syrup, at the mouth of-

0:55:29 Emily: Port Syrup?!

0:55:32 Brennan: You arrive at Port Syrup at the mouth of the Cola River. This ship of House Bleu sails in. You see that their… As you sail in, hold on a second. (rolls dice) You see the mast of not one, not two, but three Imperial warships sunk into the harbor. And you see the flags of House Jawbreaker and House Rocks flying over Port Syrup with huge ballista and giant crossbows on the towers here. It looks like Port Syrup has armed up pretty fast. And as you guys sail into port, you see that Annabelle runs down and gets a little banner underneath House Cheddar, and a small banner of the House of Rocks flies up underneath the flag on the La Fondue.

0:56:30 Siobhan: Great.

0:56:30 Ally: Is my dad there?

0:56:33 Brennan: You're not certain, you don't know. You come into port. As you come in and begin to harbor the port, you see two figures running down the harbor as fast as they can, one fully armored and the other running on a little peg leg. Sir Morris Brie and Manta Ray Jack come sprinting. Sir Morris says,

0:56:55 Morris: Captain, Captain Cheddar!

0:56:58 Brennan: And you see that Manta Ray says,

0:56:59 Manta Ray: And there he is, the rascal! (yells)

0:57:02 Lou: I grab him.

0:57:02 Amethar: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

0:57:04 Manta Ray: I'm so sorry.

0:57:06 Amethar: No, I'm so sorry.

0:57:06 Manta Ray: I am so sorry.

0:57:07 Amethar: I never should've put you in that position. I saw you and I should've done something about it.

0:57:12 Manta Ray: I'll say this to you. Look, I would've made it out of there, but something happened at the last minute. I was about to break free and then a chain magically wrapped around me seven or eight or nine times! Siobhan laughs and then makes a nervous expression.

0:57:23 Amethar: Yeah, that was a thing. (laughing) The fucking Church is out of control, I'll tell you.

0:57:29 Manta Ray: (laughs) They are. I'll tell you this, they put the screws in me for five different hours, they did! And they were a-stabbin' and a-burnin' and they pulled my teeth out and they kicked me and they kicked and they kicked and I said nothin'! [quieter] And then they remembered that they had that book that makes you tell the truth. I'll tell ya, that book is a real—

0:57:46 Amethar: Messes you up.

0:57:46 Manta Ray: You're right, yes. I hate to put my hand on it and tell the truth.

0:57:51 Amethar: Well, clearly you put the screws in them. (Manta Ray laughs)

0:57:54 Lou: I point at all the ships that—

0:57:56 Brennan: He says,

0:57:56 Manta Ray: Oh, that we have, that we have. Aye, we've been helping your Candian sailors here with their navalcraft and such. What I will tell you is this, things are bad out there, but Morris and I managed to skip out through the Imperial lines and get word to Candia to put the border up. We managed to escape. Not everybody made it. The Lord and Lady Swirlie were found.

0:58:30 Jet: Did they put up a fight at least?

0:58:31 Manta Ray: Not at all, they went right down. They went right down.

0:58:35 Amethar: That makes, honestly-

0:58:35 Jet: I actually-

0:58:37 Amethar: That tracks.

0:58:37 Jet: That's kinda why I asked.

0:58:38 Cumulous: I don't know them, but I'm imagining a very weak man and a very weak—

0:58:44 Amethar: They had funny voices. I brought 'em along 'cause they were fun to be around.

0:58:48 Theobald: What about Cal?

0:58:50 Manta Ray: How you think we made it past the lines? He's a good man, that. And for the moment, Imperial troops have come from Ceresia, they're in the Great Stone Candy Mountains, your father's- Castle Many Licks is surrounded. But right now, at least the South is safe, the Cola River's being patrolled and Muffinfield is mustered, they've mustered, as well as the West Cake. Sir Amanda Maillard has returned back and led the troops south and right now Castle Candy is holding onto Cal and...

0:59:32 Amethar: The Lady?

0:59:32 Manta Ray: The Queen.

0:59:34 Liam: So, my dad might be in trouble.

0:59:36 Manta Ray: Aye.

0:59:37 Amethar: He's very in trouble.

0:59:37 Theobald: He's in a lot of trouble.

0:59:38 Amethar: We're gonna do something about it.

0:59:42 Manta Ray: He's all right. I mean, no one in the history of Calorum has ever taken Castle Many Licks, but he could probably hold out for another few months or so, but time will tell.

0:59:53 Ruby: Better to get him out sooner than later.

0:59:55 Liam: Yes.

0:59:57 Brennan: You see Sir Morris Brie is there and says,

1:00:00 Morris: Right, young lady.

1:00:00 Ruby: Me?

1:00:03 Morris: Aye. So, you were the voice in my head.

1:00:08 Ruby: [looks around first] Yes.

1:00:09 Brennan: He nods and says,

1:00:09 Morris: Well, I am a knight of the Bulbian Church, but like every good Dairy Islander, I grew up heeding the words of the fair folk out there on the Milky Sea. I know when one's touched with the gift, and I thank you.

1:00:27 Ruby: Thank you.

1:00:30 Brennan: So, this is a cheerful reunion. Morris comes over to you and says,

1:00:38 Morris: No Concordant Emperor has been named. In the interim, the Pontifex is saying that until Candia is brought back into the fold one way or another that there cannot be a Cornucopian Council, not with the original wording of the Concord. So, until the matter is settled, she will be stewarding the Concord.

1:00:57 Liam: Of course.

1:00:57 Theobald: Shocking.

1:00:59 Jet: Yeah.

1:00:59 Cumulous: No one saw that coming.

1:01:00 Liam: You're a part of the Bulbian Church, Morris?

1:01:04 Morris: Aye. I was knighted in the Bulbian Church.

1:01:06 Liam: Do you like it?

1:01:08 Morris: It's not really about—

1:01:08 Liam: Bullshit, right?

1:01:12 Brennan: Smack. [mimes slapping him] (cast laughing)

1:01:16 Amethar: We're not gonna be running around questioning people's beliefs.

1:01:22 Liam: We have to! We have to dispel the Bulbian's hold on people.

1:01:25 Jet: I think the better way, though-

1:01:26 Liam: Starting right now!

1:01:27 Jet: I think the better way, though-

1:01:29 Emily: Can I say this privately so that-

1:01:31 Brennan: Yeah.

1:01:31 Siobhan: Say it in twin speak.

1:01:31 Jet: I think the better way-

1:01:32 Emily: Oh yeah, in twin speak-

1:01:32 Siobhan: Liam speaks twin speak now.

1:01:34 Ally: I speak twin speak now.

1:01:34 Emily: In twin speak I say,

1:01:36 Jet: I think the better way is just to slowly seduce the innate magic in other communities so that we are-

1:01:45 Ruby: Yeah, you should seduce him.

1:01:49 Liam: Alright. (Jet laughing)

1:01:51 Liam: Hey, Morris.

1:01:51 Morris: Aye?

1:01:54 Liam: You look like you could really pack it in.

1:02:00 Amethar: What?

1:02:00 Theobald: Liam, what are you doing?

1:02:02 Morris: On my honor as a Knight of House Cheddar and of the Dairy Islands, I hereby challenge you to a duel.

1:02:07 Liam: What?

1:02:08 Morris: You have insulted my honor.

1:02:09 Liam: No, I just mean you could-

1:02:10 Morris: You have insulted my honor.

1:02:12 Liam: You just look like you're capable-

1:02:13 Morris: What is meant by pack it in? Where?

1:02:16 Liam: No, I just-

1:02:17 Morris: And what? What is being packed into where?

1:02:20 Liam: No, you just look. I meant like, you know, when you go camping you have to pack in, you have to load out.

1:02:26 Amethar: He's a seed guy. He's a big time seed guy.

1:02:27 Theobald: He’s a seed guy. Pack it into the ground, dirt.

1:02:30 Morris: Don't try and trick me, I know a war guy when I see one.

1:02:34 Amethar: No, he's a seed guy.

1:02:34 Liam: I haven't touched a seed in a long time, I am now a war guy. I'm sorry, I was looking, you just look like you have a big capacity to… Do you wanna get a drink some time?

1:02:48 Brennan: Smack. (laughing)

1:02:50 Morris: All right, after this war is settled, you and I will find a misty field in the morning and we will settle this honor out ourselves.

1:02:58 Liam: That's hot, okay.

1:02:58 Morris: No, that's not how I meant it.

1:03:01 Liam: That's so hot, right?

1:03:01 Jet: Yes!

1:03:02 Morris: We will find a misty field-

1:03:03 Siobhan: In twin speak I say,

1:03:04 Ruby: You’re doing a really good job.

1:03:04 Jet: Yeah!

1:03:04 Amethar: Do not encourage this. Either my friend or my cousin is gonna get killed, alright?

1:03:10 Theobald: Everyone needs to stop making more sworn enemies. We have enough. (laughing)

1:03:14 Brennan: Can I just say, the Dairy Islands are, in canon, your closest allies. You have beefed it with nobody. Every single Dairy Islander has been deeply insulted multiple times by all of you at every passing moment.

1:03:26 Ally: [to Murph] You have 0 charisma and I have -2, so.

1:03:28 Siobhan: Oh yeah, I—

1:03:29 Emily: That was legendary one was when—

1:03:29 Siobhan: All of our Charisma is so low.

1:03:31 Emily: What was it? Theobald's threatening via Message.

1:03:36 Ally: Oh my god, that was insane. “Don't scream, no matter what you see!”

1:03:40 Siobhan: Yeah, I have the highest Charisma here.

1:03:41 Zac: Cumulous- I think Cumulous walks away, like,

1:03:43 Cumulous: I do not understand this world they have left behind.

1:03:45 Siobhan: Which is not saying very much.

1:03:46 Lou: Can I follow Cumulous?

1:03:46 Brennan: Yes, you can.

1:03:49 Amethar: Hey, buddy, buddy, sorry. It's been a crazy three, or two weeks plus for us and it's just nice to be around friends again.

1:04:04 Cumulous: It is nice to be around you as well. I love the Spinning Star and the work we have done, but I have not seen people I've… been related to in so long.

1:04:20 Amethar: Yeah, well, you're back amongst family. Did you have intentions for us when we got back to Candia? Or are you just coming along?

1:04:35 Cumulous: Part of my charge is to protect the magical secrets of Candia. And although that is not necessarily, I have to be honest, it's not necessarily you, a lot of it is what you carry. Can I see your sword? (cast laughing)

1:04:53 Amethar: Yeah, actually, use my sword, this is Payment Day. The sword of the royal family. Are you crying? Cumulous hefts the sword and takes a quick breath.

1:05:03 Cumulous: It is a good sword. (cast laughing) (sword scraping as Amethar sheathes it)

1:05:06 Brennan: So, you guys are in Port Syrup. How do you travel here? Do you travel openly here? They're flying the flag of House Rocks here, it seems like Candia has been warned, because Manta Ray Jack and Morris got here, and it seems like it is safe to be open, but you guys have been on the run so I don't wanna tell you guys how you do business.

1:05:29 Emily: I retrained my rogue level to be a fighter, so I don't hide anymore.

1:05:31 Lou: Yeah, I'm done skulking.

1:05:34 Brennan: Cool.

1:05:34 Murph: Yeah.

1:05:36 Siobhan: I'm fucking skulking the shit out of this place.

1:05:38 Brennan: Yeah, a royal welcome is put up. People cheer as they see the King, the Candians here applaud. I mean, there might be some people that are skulking around saying shit, but for the most part it seems like the people of Candia have more love for their King and Princesses than they do for anything else. But you do see that the Church bells that would normally ring at the approach of the King are silent. So, it might not be as safe as you would've imagined. You arrive at a garrison hall, one of the sea towers looking over the harbor, where it's easy for the royal family to come in and set up shop there. Your Dairy Islander allies are there, Primsy, Annabelle, Morris, and Manta Ray, and then you guys are there. There's also some Candians there, some Tartguard, things of that nature. A report is given to you by the custodians of the city that there is a tremendous amount of violence in the mountains. The paths are shut. Not only are there Imperial soldiers there fighting the forces of House Jawbreaker, there are also just loose marauders there and weird reports of, like— someone talks about there was a mountain pass where 40 Imperial soldiers were killed and their blood was scrawled on the frosted side of this mountain that just said, "Long live the Queen" on it. You see that there is also a notice of a call for muster has been put out for all of the various banner lords and vassals to report to Castle Candy because right now a very small amount of forces are holding the southern river, and a huge army is moving north from Comida to cross the Cola River and attack Castle Candy.

1:07:35 Siobhan: I think that we should go to Castle Candy, if the place in the mountains is safe, they seem to be doing fine. The only way that we could help is to bring an army there. The place where we could get an army is Castle Candy.

1:07:49 Murph: Well-

1:07:49 Lou: No.

1:07:50 Zac: I think that's backwards.

1:07:51 Lou: Yeah.

1:07:51 Emily: Yeah.

1:07:52 Lou: The mustering Castle Candy is small. We would be good to reinforce it. The larger force is in the Stone Candy Mountains, but getting there would be much more difficult.

1:08:02 Murph: Perhaps if we can help Duke Jawbreaker, he'll help us.

1:08:07 Lou: How long do we have until that force makes it from Comida? Does the report have any suggestion of how long until that force makes it up the river?

1:08:15 Jet: Why did your dad rebel against the Concord? Did it have to do with magic?

1:08:19 Liam: It's because your dad wouldn't join and help the Dairy Islands when they needed help. We had a weak king and he didn't want to be a part of Candia anymore.

1:08:33 Amethar: Your grandfather sucked, and your dad ruled and did the right thing.

1:08:39 Theobald: Well, your grandfather didn't suck—

1:08:41 Amethar: He sucked.

1:08:41 Theo: He didn’t suck—

1:08:41 Liam: My grandpa sucked.

1:08:44 Jet: Whatever my dad says is right.

1:08:45 Zac: Is his grandfather my grandfather?

1:08:47 Brennan: You're a cousin of his. He's talking about his father who would've been your uncle.

1:08:53 Cumulous: Your grandfather sucked. (Brennan laughs)

1:08:56 Siobhan: Is there a way that I can, in some way, try to commune with Lazuli? Take a moment to meditate, or—

1:09:06 Zac: Can I-

1:09:06 Siobhan: Look in a mirror, or something? (laughs)

1:09:07 Emily: You are so vain!

1:09:08 Brennan: Mmhm.

1:09:09 Zac: I don't really know what this necklace is that I have.

1:09:12 Brennan: It's just a symbol of your station, it's not a magical item or anything like that.

1:09:14 Zac: Gotcha.

1:09:16 Brennan: You can try to commune with a mirror. Yeah, go for it.

1:09:17 Ally: So, we have to just. Oh, sorry.

1:09:19 Brennan: Go give me an Arcana check.

1:09:19 Siobhan: Great. (rolls dice) 18.

1:09:26 Brennan: A message comes back to you and it's not verbal. You just look into the mirror. You see… the river going to Castle Candy and the road going into the Great Stone Candy Mountains. The road going into the Great Stone Candy Mountains, you see up that road is… A tremendous amount of battle, but what you see is the troops that would- So you're seeing visions of the future unfold that your aunt is sending you, basically. To bring any meaningful troops to Castle Many Licks, you would have to completely empty Port Syrup of all its troops, and this is the main port that supplies- If this were to fall, the Imperial Navy could sail right up the length of Candia. So, you guys could go to the Great Stone Candy Mountains and maybe you'd survive long enough to join the besieged in Castle Many Licks with no troops. And as powerful as you all are as warriors, situations like sieges don't get decided by individuals no matter how powerful. They get decided by armies, supplies, logistics. You see Castle Candy, even though there is this treat coming from the south, it looks like they're coming from the south, but it also looks like you see possible confusion in the ranks of the army coming up from the south. You see disagreement politically between Ceresian and Fructeran soldiers and who's in charge about that army coming from the south, which could mean that there's a potential for the army mustering at Castle Candy to have the time to go north before going south, especially traveling on Candia's roads, which they know so well.

1:11:41 Siobhan: Great. I relay this to everybody else.

1:11:46 Amethar: Laz is just talking to you?

1:11:49 Ruby: Well, it wasn't so much talking as it was moving pictures.

1:11:54 Theobald: She's sending you her visions.

1:11:56 Ruby: Yes.

1:11:56 Amethar: That's amazing.

1:11:58 Liam: Let's do it.

1:11:59 Cumulous: Do we have any allies to the north?

1:12:02 Ruby: Perhaps we can get some people from the Dairy Islands to protect the harbor.

1:12:06 Brennan: You see that Annabelle says,

1:12:07 Annabelle: Right, we'll return to Lacramor, muster the Dairy Islands. The Dairy Seas shall not be safe for any ships coming for Candia.

1:12:18 Ruby: Thank you.

1:12:18 Theobald: Thank you.

1:12:19 Jet: Thank you.

1:12:19 Cumulous: I do not think that will be enough.

1:12:22 Brennan: You see that Sir Morris look and says,

1:12:25 Morris: We have some Dairy Islander ships here ready to sail. We don't have to travel by road. We can get you to Castle Candy up the Cola River and be there in a day and a half.

1:12:31 Theobald: Alright.

1:12:34 Amethar: Alright.

1:12:38 Jet: Okay.

1:12:38 Cumulous: That sounds like a good plan.

1:12:39 Ruby: Great.

1:12:39 Jet: Yeah.

1:12:39 Brennan: They nod. Morris embraces you, Manta Ray looks at you and says,

1:12:44 Manta Ray: Well, it seems that before long, Your Majesty, I'll be seeing you take a shit again.

1:12:50 Amethar: And I'll be watching you piss. (Amethar and Manta Ray laugh)

1:12:55 Siobhan: Can we say that the ships going down the Cola River are hovercrafts because they're milk on top of Cola, so it's just an air bubble underneath. (laughing)

1:13:04 Brennan: [mimics a buzzing hovercraft] Incredible. Annabelle and the Duchess Coldbottle bid you all a fond farewell as they sail back to Lacramor, your allies in the wars to come. You see that Manta Ray- Well actually, it's your guys' choice. Would you wanna leave Morris in Port Syrup, or Manta Ray in Port Syrup and have one or the other sail you guys up the Cola River.

1:13:30 Emily: Morris in Port Syrup or Manta Ray?

1:13:31 Lou: I feel like Morris in Port Syrup and sail with Manta Ray.

1:13:33 Emily: Yeah, Manta Ray is-

1:13:36 Lou: Manta Ray's a crazy guy!

1:13:36 Siobhan: I'm worried that you guys are gonna get fucked up with each other and then-

1:13:40 Lou: Oh no, I'm done drinking. Being excommunicated in front of most of the known world will kinda sober you up.

1:13:51 Ally: I'm fine with that 'cause me flirting with Morris wasn't really going very well, I'm kind of embarrassed.

1:13:55 Lou: That's right.

1:13:55 Murph: Morris does want to kill you.

1:13:57 Lou: Yeah, let's leave Sir Morris.

1:13:59 Liam: I need to sharpen my skills a little bit more.

1:14:02 Cumulous: Liam.

1:14:03 Liam: Yeah.

1:14:03 Cumulous: Flirt with me.

1:14:04 Liam: What?

1:14:04 Cumulous: [deathly serious] Liam, flirt with me.

1:14:08 Liam: I think you're probably ready to take it. Brennan whips his head around to stare in shock. The entire table is silent for a moment.

1:14:14 Cumulous: Pretty good. (laughing)

1:14:17 Amethar: Okay, that's one war guy to-

1:14:18 Liam: I like camping! When you go camping you take yourself out and you take, the elements hit you.

1:14:25 Theobald: We all know what you were talking about.

1:14:26 Amethar: We all know what you were talking about, especially when you said you could pack it in, that was wild.

1:14:30 Liam: You're ready to get slammed down, big style! Brennan is still speechless.

1:14:34 Ruby: What message board have you been reading?

1:14:36 Amethar: Is this what your brothers used to say?

1:14:39 Liam: [distressed] No, this is what all my parents used to say and they each loved it.

1:14:41 Theobald: Right. (cast laughing)

1:14:45 Brennan: You see Manta Ray says,

1:14:45 Manta Ray: All right. Well, no one on the Baby Bell is going to be getting slammed down big style on my watch, all right? Let's have that be very clear.

1:14:54 Liam: Okay!

1:14:56 Brennan: You guys board the Baby Bell. Manta Ray sails for House Cheddar most of the time and maybe when he hasn't sailed for House Cheddar he's sailed under a different flag, maybe with some crossbones on it, but he's a good man.

1:15:11 Siobhan: A privateer!

1:15:11 Brennan: A privateer! A regular Sir Francis Drake. And you guys sail up Cola River past the West Cake, headed towards Castle Candy. You guys arrive in Castle Candy at 4:00 in the morning. You guys sail up. So much has changed, you've changed, not even a rogue anymore. Peppermint Batman.

1:15:44 Zac: Different guy.

1:15:45 Brennan: Full different guy.

1:15:45 Lou: New guy. (gentle piano music)

1:15:49 Brennan: And you guys sail up the Cola River to where we began, Castle Candy. The moon shines silvery through the late summer purple, pink, lavender and fuchsia haze of candy mists around. Even the tavern is dead silent at 4:00 in the morning. And you see there are some lights up in the castle, but the town of Dulcington is sleepy and quiet. And you see that Manta Ray sails this cheese ship in and ties it up at the dock and says,

1:16:29 Manta Ray: Right, well, we'll be harbored here, there won't be any inns or taverns open, so we'll just sleep aboard the ship, but, uh. [salutes]

1:16:33 Amethar: I’ll see you soon!

1:16:36 Manta Ray: Welcome home, Your Majesty.

1:16:42 Ruby: His tattoos are really cool!

1:16:42 Jet: Yeah, they really are.

1:16:44 Manta Ray: Would you like one? Little manta rays-

1:16:46 Theobald: They're all right.

1:16:49 Jet: I'll take one.

1:16:49 Ruby: Yeah, I'll take one, too.

1:16:51 Amethar: And me.

1:16:51 Brennan: He says,

1:16:52 Manta Ray: You want your House Rocks words or you want a little “keep sharp” on there?

1:16:56 Jet: Give me a little keep sharp, lower back.

1:16:57 Ruby: Oh, can I have one of each?

1:17:00 Brennan: He nods and says,

1:17:00 Manta Ray: Allies forevermore.

1:17:06 Jet: Also, will you fill in “Bastard Jet”, because I kinda just did that myself.

1:17:10 Manta Ray: A little stick and poke, right, okay, we'll get that.

1:17:13 Theobald: So many stick and poke tattoos.

1:17:15 Liam: What are you, a bartender?

1:17:19 Amethar: Damn, Liam!

1:17:19 Jet: Maybe it is—

1:17:20 Ruby: Damn.

1:17:20 Amethar: Liam's at it with these lines today.

1:17:21 Ruby: Sassy today, Liam.

1:17:23 Liam: That was me flirting! (cast laughing)

1:17:26 Brennan: Cool. You guys stride up. Obviously there is a weird, somber attitude because the last time you were here was your birthday party and now Candia is at war and you're coming home like sneak thieves in the middle of the night. But you guys walk back up through Dulcington across the bridge and up to Castle Candy. What do you guys do as you approach Castle Candy?

1:17:50 Murph: Are there guards and stuff out?

1:17:52 Brennan: Yeah, you see there's some night watch. You see they shout,

1:17:54 Limon: Hello, who goes there?

1:17:58 Murph: I pull out my scroll.

1:18:00 Amethar: Don't, there's no need for all—

1:18:01 Theobald: King Amethar of the House Rocks, First of His Name, Sovereign Ruler of Candia and the Sugarlands, Duke of Cookieshire, Protector of the Realm and Defender of the Faith, Bannerman of the Battle of Gumdrop Pass and Hero of Frosting Valley, the Unfallen, the True Emperor.

1:18:13 Jet: [whispering] Now do mine. [Theo takes a deep breath]

1:18:18 Amethar: Really, are we doing this? It's 4:00 a.m.

1:18:20 Theobald: Princess Jet of the House Rocks, First of Her Name, Duchess of Gumberly, Lady of the Realm, Bastard of the Realm. Princess Ruby of House Rocks, First of Her Name, Duchess of Piehole, Lady of the Realm, Bastard of the Realm, Master Acrobat.

1:18:29 Liam: It's just the lemon cough drop! No offense.

1:18:31 Limon: Oh no, none taken. If you wanna hurt me, I'm alright with it.

1:18:36 Amethar: Oh, Limon!

1:18:36 Limon: What?

1:18:38 Ruby: It's us, Limon.

1:18:38 Limon: Oh, you're alive! Our saints preserve you! I'm coming down right now!

1:18:46 Brennan: And you see he hops over the wall and falls. (laughing) (Limon yells)

1:18:50 Emily: Ah, there's just little shards of cough drop everywhere.

1:18:52 Theobald: How did you-

1:18:52 Cumulous: Should I kill him?

1:18:53 Theobald: How did you survive? No, don't.

1:18:54 Amethar: He does this a lot.

1:18:56 Limon: What's that?

1:18:57 Theobald: How did you survive?

1:18:57 Limon: Oh, it was awful. Well, I knew that if they knew I was Candy that they would kill me on sight, so I covered myself in fruit pig shit and I crawled on hands and knees all the way up the Glucian Road, being kicked all the way.

1:19:07 Ruby: By who? Who was kicking you?

1:19:12 Limon: Passerby.

1:19:17 Jet: So, you abandoned the castle?

1:19:21 Theobald: Limon, if you were covered with shit, you're still a crawling piece of shit. There's no difference between crawling and running at that point.

1:19:28 Limon: What?

1:19:30 Theobald: You either didn't need to cover yourself in shit, or you didn't need to crawl. I don't know which one it is, but you didn't need to do one of those!

1:19:37 Limon: Oh, I've beefed it again, I'm sorry m’lord. If only you had been there to straighten my way.

1:19:43 Ruby: That's actually pretty offensive to Beef people, but—

1:19:46 Limon: What's that?

1:19:47 Ruby: It's just a little bit offensive to Beef—

1:19:48 Limon: To hell with Beef people, that's what I say.

1:19:49 Ruby: Alright.

1:19:51 Liam: Oh!

1:19:52 Amethar: No, that's not bad. (cast laughing)

1:19:55 Zac: Cumulous puts his staff on Limon.

1:19:57 Cumulous: Limon, squire, I sentence you to death.

1:20:01 Liam: No, no, no!

1:20:01 Ruby: No, no, no, no, no!

1:20:02 Amethar: No, no.

1:20:02 Limon: No, let him do it!

1:20:05 Amethar: No, this is his normal state of being, so it's not like he's worse off. If anything, when he was up there, I'm sure you've probably been better these past couple of days than you've been in a while.

1:20:15 Limon: Oh, I've been great, my lord. Obviously I'm certain to die when the war starts. I'm sure a stray arrow will pierce my head and leave me as dead as can be. And good riddance, I say. The world doesn't need a cough drop, my lord.

1:20:29 Theobald: Limon, can you lead us into the castle?

1:20:30 Amethar: Oh my gosh.

1:20:30 Jet: When we fight, just save him for last or something, okay? Just don't let him take your attention.

1:20:38 Limon: It would be an honor to die at your hand.

1:20:42 Cumulous: [little breath] Later. (cast laughing)

1:20:45 Brennan: You see- The gate suddenly lowers and there in a nightgown holding a lantern is Queen Caramelinda, who rushes forward and sweeps you up into a giant embrace and is just openly weeping.

1:21:03 Ruby: Oh, we're not in trouble?

1:21:03 Jet: We're not in trouble?

1:21:05 Ruby: [about to cry] I really thought we were gonna be in trouble.

1:21:09 Caramelinda: [shakily] My sweethearts, my darlings. You're okay. I'm so happy you're alive and you did nothing wrong.

1:21:18 Jet: We actually did a lot of things right.

1:21:19 Ruby: Yeah, we did.

1:21:19 Theobald: They got tattoos.

1:21:20 Ruby: Shh.

1:21:20 Murph: Theo would—

1:21:22 Jet: Why would you lead with that?

1:21:23 Theobald: I'm sorry!

1:21:23 Jet: And I saved your freaking princess.

1:21:24 Theobald: I heard so much but then I saw the-

1:21:25 Caramelinda: Theo-

1:21:26 Theobald: And I just wanted to tell on you.

1:21:27 Caramelinda: Theo?

1:21:27 Theobald: Yes?

1:21:28 Jet: I saved a princess, I saved my dad.

1:21:31 Caramelinda: Get the princesses and get Prince Liam inside as fast as you can, all right?

1:21:37 Theobald: Yes, my lady.

1:21:37 Liam: Um. I'm a war guy now.

1:21:41 Brennan: She puts a hand on your cheek,

1:21:41 Caramelinda: I'm very glad.

1:21:44 Brennan: You guys see that Calroy runs out and you see he's pulling on perhaps even finer war pants.

1:21:50 Ally: Whoa!

1:21:50 Lou: Wow.

1:21:52 Siobhan: He is ready.

1:21:52 Amethar: Got some pants. Now, those are some pants.

1:21:55 Brennan: He says,

1:21:55 Calroy: Well, I've had to upgrade in the absence of Candia's greatest fighter. (sobbing)

1:22:01 Amethar: Oh my god, Cal, no.

1:22:01 Brennan: And then he hugs you and he's like,

1:22:05 Calroy: You think you're gonna get away with not having me watch you shit one last time?

1:22:10 Amethar: No, stop, stop.

1:22:10 Theobald: You know, just to let everyone know, when I shit no one saw it, you just go a little bit further away from everyone else.

1:22:17 Jet: You're very— you’re weirdly private about it.

1:22:17 Ally: I'm two feet away trying to take a shit.

1:22:20 Theobald: No!

1:22:20 Ally: My ass is out and everybody.

1:22:21 Amethar: Liam, stop.

1:22:23 Ruby: If you shit in front of—

1:22:23 Liam: I'm a war guy now!

1:22:25 Theobald: Everyone likes me, are you kidding?

1:22:27 Jet: I think you need to open up-

1:22:29 Brennan: You see, Cruller immediately looks over and says,

1:22:32 Calroy: Hello, friend. Who's the hollow-eyed companion?

1:22:37 Liam: Who's the hottie?

1:22:40 Calroy: [beat] Liam has changed. (cast laughing)

1:22:42 Brennan: You see he says,

1:22:42 Calroy: And where is the Chancellor?

1:22:47 Amethar: Oh.

1:22:48 Jet: The Chancellor sacrificed himself to save Prince Liam and the rest of us. It was a beautiful moment of heroism that the Sugar-Plum Fairy herself will tell all of her friends about for days to come.

1:23:05 Cumulous: Days? (cast laughing)

1:23:07 Jet: I was—

1:23:07 Ruby: Maybe even weeks.

1:23:09 Brennan: We can assume she's busy. I mean, a lot goes on in whatever realm—

1:23:12 Theobald: Well, there aren’t days and years and such, so.

1:23:13 Brennan: Yeah. You see that- You see that Caramelinda regards you, Amethar.

1:23:23 Amethar: We should talk privately.

1:23:28 Caramelinda: [flat] You wanna talk? Now?

1:23:30 Amethar: Well, I just, it doesn't- I have a lot to say to you.

1:23:34 Brennan: She says,

1:23:34 Caramelinda: Theo, let's get the girls fed and safe in the castle at once. Let's get Liam with them as well-

1:23:42 Jet: Oh, Mom, you don't have to protect us anymore.

1:23:44 Ruby: Oh yeah, we're war guys, too.

1:23:47 Jet: Yeah, we're war guys, too.

1:23:49 Caramelinda: No one in this castle who is my progeny or nephew, Liam, you are included—

1:23:54 Liam: Thank you.

1:23:56 Caramelinda: —is going to be a war anything. You are going to be in the castle, safe.

1:24:00 Ally: Can I do a Stealth check right in front of her?

1:24:02 Ruby: [groans] We are in trouble.

1:24:02 Brennan: Yeah.

1:24:04 Jet: Mom, I think you don't understand. We have proven ourselves in battle and we actually don't need to do all this.

1:24:10 Ally: 16.

1:24:10 Brennan: 16? Cool, you Stealth away.

1:24:14 Siobhan: Yeah, I would also like to Stealth away.

1:24:15 Brennan: Cool, go for it.

1:24:18 Siobhan: 21.

1:24:18 Brennan: 21, okay.

1:24:21 Emily: I would like to Stealth away. 24.

1:24:25 Brennan: What was the lowest one? A 16? Okay-

1:24:27 Zac: I would like to Stealth away. (laughing) 8.

1:24:34 Brennan: Okay, cool. You got an 8?

1:24:35 Zac: Or 9.

1:24:37 Brennan: A 9? Okay. Caramelinda gets a plus 2, I'll roll in front of the board. That's a nat 20. (cheering) She—

1:24:46 Lou: I love my curvy wife. (cast laughing)

1:24:51 Brennan: She reaches out and says,

1:24:51 Caramelinda: Enough!

1:24:55 Brennan: Slams a high heeled foot into the ground and the Candian grass turns to thick caramel and all of you sink a foot into the ground immediately.

1:25:07 Ruby: Can you teach me how to do that? That was really cool.

1:25:07 Liam: What was that?

1:25:09 Caramelinda: [yelling] Oh, you wanna learn something?

1:25:10 Ruby: Yes!

1:25:10 Caramelinda: Then go get washed and dressed in some less raggedy clothes, eat your supper, do your lessons and then I'll teach you how to do that. War's coming. It's time to stop fooling around.

1:25:25 Liam: That was really gorgeous. Let's go.

1:25:27 Jet: Yeah, that was—

1:25:28 Caramelinda: And what's this guy's deal?

1:25:30 Amethar: This is our cousin, Cumulous. He worked with my sister, Laz.

1:25:35 Caramelinda: [sighs] Alright. Alright.

1:25:40 Jet: He saved me in battle.

1:25:43 Caramelinda: Okay.

1:25:43 Zac: Would I have ever crossed paths with-

1:25:44 Brennan: Caramelinda? Yeah, but you were always- The people that worked for Lazuli- It’s like people like Theo were like the FBI and you were like the CIA. You didn't go make a big impression at court, you were always working behind the scenes. You know what I mean?

1:26:00 Zac: Yeah.

1:26:03 Brennan: So, you see that she says,

1:26:03 Caramelinda: I'll see you upstairs.

1:26:08 Brennan: And you see that Tartguard and other people start coming in. And by the way, you didn't see them, you were walking up in the middle of the fucking night and they were far away and everyone's dead asleep, but there's bivouacs and tents all over of mustered troops. And when I say mustered, I don't mean mustard like you eat, mustered with an E, yes.

1:26:24 Emily: I do have to keep correcting it in my brain.

1:26:28 Brennan: It's food stuff, so there could be mustard troops somewhere.

1:26:29 Murph: I think as we're walking away I wanna send a message to the Queen, and I wanna say,

1:26:35 Theobald: My Queen, I wouldn't dare say any of this out loud, I don't want it to be taken as me undermining you in front of your daughters, but I will say that without their prowess in battle none of us would've made it back. They reminded me of General Rococoa and the Archmage Lazuli, who did equally brave things at their age.

1:27:18 Caramelinda: Sir Theobald, noted. Please see the princesses to their chambers, that they may be fed and clothed and given some reprieve from the journey they have been through.

1:27:30 Theobald: Yes, my Queen.

1:27:32 Brennan: Cool. You guys take off. Cruller looks over to you and says,

1:27:36 Calroy: So you are?

1:27:42 Cumulous: I am a monk of the Order of the Spinning Star.

1:27:48 Calroy: Got it, understood.

1:27:48 Cumulous: You got it?

1:27:51 Calroy: Perhaps we should take a little tour of the castle right now to see if there's any arcane things you know how to awaken that we don't?

1:28:00 Cumulous: I will try.

1:28:00 Zac: (laughs) I don't actually have any arcane, but like,

1:28:02 Cumulous: [in a serious voice] Yes.

1:28:06 Brennan: (laughs) Cool. Caramelinda looks at you, Amethar, and begins to walk into the castle.

1:28:11 Lou: I quietly follow.

1:28:14 Brennan: You get up to your chambers. And as you do… You see she turns to you and says,

1:28:36 Caramelinda: [sighs] ...How could you never tell me?

1:28:41 Amethar: I mean, I didn't tell anybody. I mean, my sisters knew because they were my sisters. And Manta Ray Jack knew because he was the witness. But I… I thought this was one of those things you could never talk about and it would never be a problem. I mean, it was already hard enough for us, just making this work. I thought it would only mean more problems.

1:29:29 Caramelinda: Your sisters knew. So, that means that Lazuli knew.

1:29:34 Amethar: Yeah, she knew. She actually knew before I knew, I guess, but didn't know that it was gonna be something. It was a whole-

1:29:47 Brennan: Caramelinda looks out the window and just weeps.

1:29:55 Caramelinda: You not telling me makes sense, your sisters probably had a plan when they were alive and when they were dead you would probably be too scared to figure out what to do, so like a child, you just thought it would go away on its own.

1:30:14 Brennan: Tear goes down her face.

1:30:17 Caramelinda: Lazuli not telling me, that… that hurts, because Lazuli I loved with all my heart, and this is just politics.

1:30:31 Brennan: And she stands up, walks to the edge of the room and says,

1:30:38 Caramelinda: I suppose you're glad, at least in part, that war is coming and you'll have something to do again.

1:30:45 Amethar: I'm gonna be better.

1:30:49 Caramelinda: What does that mean?

1:30:51 Amethar: I don't know. They tried to kill me twice, and for some reason, I'm still here, so I'm gonna be better.

1:31:06 Caramelinda: [sighs heavily] Amethar the Unfallen. Let's see if Candia can earn the same title.

1:31:13 Brennan: And she walks out of the room.

1:31:18 Lou: [laughs, sadly] I don't think I sleep. [Brennan laughing]

1:31:22 Siobhan: I would like to, before, or maybe as we wake up, take the little scrap of paper that Lapin Cadbury- The last vestige of him that we have left and take it down to the stone circle and place it underneath the teacup.

1:31:41 Brennan: You go to Lapin's circle of stones and place the little page with his name underneath the little broken teacup. Do you and Jet both go?

1:31:58 Emily: Yeah.

1:31:58 Siobhan: I think so.

1:31:59 Brennan: You guys go there. Theo is just-

1:32:01 Murph: Yeah, I think, I mean, it would be possible that I would go, too, honestly.

1:32:07 Siobhan: Yeah, why don't we all go on the way back to-

1:32:09 Ally: I would go.

1:32:09 Siobhan: The castle, just pop in.

1:32:12 Brennan: Lovely.

1:32:12 Zac: I guess Cumulous will (laughs) lurk.

1:32:17 Brennan: Cumulous definitely sees something here that the others don't see. So, you do this little ceremony for Lapin. Cumulous, you feel maybe an urge to meditate here.

1:32:34 Zac: Cumulous will just have a seat.

1:32:38 Brennan: Cool. You guys see Cumulous goes into a state of meditation here in this Sugar-Plum grove.

1:32:43 Ally: Can I have chopped through some trees and stuff until I found one of those wish peppermint seeds?

1:32:52 Brennan: Yeah, give me a nature check with advantage.

1:32:53 Ally: Okay, cool. 23.

1:32:59 Brennan: 23. Yeah, it'll take a little bit of time. But you can absolutely go do that. So, I think Liam is probably, after this lovely funeral for Lapin you head off and there's some peppermint trees up on the ridge that you know about that are much older and probably likely to have some of these. As you go chop some of them, you find a big healthy peppermint heart seed-

1:33:21 Ally: Cool.

1:33:24 Brennan: Deep in a tree.

1:33:25 Ally: And then I think I'd run back and when we put the little note for Lapin down I think I'd put that down for Preston.

1:33:31 Brennan: Oh, that's beautiful. Great. Go ahead. And so, Amethar, you have your conversation, Cumulous, you stay after the funeral and are meditating there. The rest of you guys in the castle, you know that your mom and dad, there's some kind of wild thing gonna happen.

1:33:52 Ruby: Well, it's not like they ever got on.

1:33:54 Brennan: Mmhmm.

1:33:55 Jet: Yeah.

1:33:57 Brennan: You see your mom comes out of her private study. Each of you guys make a Perception check, if you'd be so kind.

1:34:02 Siobhan: Can I do it with advantage? Since I have Yak.

1:34:04 Brennan: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

1:34:07 Emily: I have a 10.

1:34:07 Siobhan: I got an 11.

1:34:12 Brennan: You see, well, 11's good enough to see this, there's a little piece of tearaway lingerie in your mom's study on her writing desk and she closes the door and locks it behind her.

1:34:26 Ruby: Is that your underwear?

1:34:26 Jet: Is it my underwear?

1:34:28 Ruby: It doesn't look like it.

1:34:31 Jet: Caramelinda's—

1:34:31 Zac: Mhh, I have a—

1:34:33 Jet: Got something on the side. I think Mom might've had some-

1:34:39 Ruby: I mean, she's not getting it from Dad.

1:34:41 Jet: Some revenge booty.

1:34:41 Ruby: I would. Wouldn't you?

1:34:44 Jet: I guess so.

1:34:47 Ruby: I feel bad for both of them.

1:34:48 Jet: I kinda wanna go explore.

1:34:48 Ruby: Yeah.

1:34:52 Siobhan: Can we break into Mom's office?

1:34:53 Brennan: [a tiny bit too excited] Go ahead and give me a thieves' tool check.

1:34:56 Emily: Great.

1:34:56 Murph: I'm assuming I'm not there.

1:34:57 Brennan: No, I think right now what's happening is, you're probably touring around the defenses of the caste.

1:35:03 Siobhan: I got a nat 20 on my thieves' tool check.

1:35:06 Brennan: Magically, you approach, and the door opens in front of you. You guys walk inside, and you find a letter.

1:35:18 Jet: Really shouldn't.

1:35:19 Ruby: I won't if you won't, just kidding, I'm gonna.

1:35:21 Jet: I know, I was absolutely lying when I said we really shouldn't do this.

1:35:25 Brennan: The letter is from… It's from Lazi Fierce of Lazi Fierce Lingerie, the madame of the lingerie shop in Dulcington, who apparently has been a spy working for your mom since you were much younger princesses. You see—

1:35:48 Jet: Lazi, you mole.

1:35:51 Brennan: You see that she basically says, the letter goes on to say, “I am keeping it well hidden in the attic of my shop. I may need to leave at once. If you need it at any point, you need simply come and claim it, however, I don't know when I'll be able to return.”

1:36:11 Ruby: What is it? We gotta follow Mom.

1:36:14 Jet: Ruby.

1:36:14 Ruby: I won't go to bed.

1:36:15 Jet: No, no, no, Ruby. I know that this is so not okay, but should we go try to find it in the attic of the shop?

1:36:24 Ruby: Yeah, I think that's where Mom is going, right? She just got this letter.

1:36:27 Brennan: You saw Caramelinda just heading off to the dining hall, the banquet hall.

1:36:31 Ruby: Oh, then let's go into Dulcington and find what this thing is. I-

1:36:37 Jet: We are going to get in so much trouble. There is literally war going on.

1:36:42 Ruby: Jet, we can't worry about getting in trouble, there's war going on. [Brennan and Ally laughing]

1:36:48 Jet: You're right, it works both ways. I'm in. Should we get Liam?

1:36:52 Ruby: Yes, absolutely let's get Liam.

1:36:54 Liam: [loudly] What, your mom's tearaway underwear?

1:36:55 Jet: Shh.

1:36:57 Liam: We're going on a mission 'cause you saw tearaway underwear?

1:36:59 Ruby: Shh. No, we read a letter!

1:37:00 Jet: There's something secret in the attic.

1:37:04 Ruby: We just want to know.

1:37:04 Jet: Curiosity is just so powerful.

1:37:06 Ruby: Honestly, I feel so bad for the weird power dynamic between our parents right now and maybe it's something that will rebalance it out.

1:37:15 Jet: Oh, that's a noble reason.

1:37:15 Ruby: Yeah, exactly we just-

1:37:17 Jet: I was gonna go for pure curiosity.

1:37:19 Liam: I'll go to protect you now that I'm a war guy.

1:37:22 Ruby: Oh thank you, Liam.

1:37:22 Jet: Okay, okay.

1:37:24 Brennan: Hell yeah, you guys head off. You guys head off to Dulcington. I'm gonna need the group Stealth check of all group Stealth checks right now.

1:37:36 Ally: I believe I get advantage.

1:37:37 Siobhan: I have Yak, right?

1:37:40 Brennan: What gives you advantage, do you remember?

1:37:41 Ally: [reading character sheet] “Natural Explorer, you have advantage. Difficult terrain doesn't slow your group down.” Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca.

1:37:48 Emily: Oh, that's not-

1:37:50 Ally: “Tracking a creature.”

1:37:50 Siobhan: I got a 22.

1:37:51 Ally: Oh no, nevermind. Okay, cool, normal.

1:37:52 Brennan: Cool.

1:37:53 Emily: I got a 26. (laughs)

1:37:56 Ally: Nat 1. (Brennan gasps)

1:37:57 Siobhan: Oh, Liam!

1:37:57 Brennan: However, however, it's a group check, so one nat 1 is not gonna do it. But Liam, you're just like war guying up and the princess who are like-

1:38:06 Jet: Right now be a seed guy. Seed guy.

1:38:08 Brennan: Seed guy now, seed guy. And your hearts are filled with sugar and mischief like they haven't been since the old days. You're sneaking into Dulcington!

1:38:19 Emily: This feels—

1:38:21 Brennan: And you guys get all the way to the Lazi Fierce Lingerie shop in Dulcington. I'm gonna need another thieves' tool check.

1:38:29 Emily: I don't have them anymore, so-

1:38:30 Siobhan: You can Help me.

1:38:30 Emily: Okay. Yeah, I give you the Help, actually.

1:38:32 Ally: I have them, too, if you don't.

1:38:36 Siobhan: That is a 25.

1:38:37 Brennan: That's extremely gonna do it. Yeah. You guys see that, it's very sweet, but also you see how much you've changed. Jet is now this marshal- She's lost some of her sneak, man, she's gone rough edge. And you've just gotten slicker with all this magic shit. I mean, it's like, dead of night, and this is one of the few shops the shopkeeper doesn't live, oh no, the shopkeeper does live above it, but she's out of town right now. So, you guys sneak up through the shop, up through the next place. There's no stealth checks needed here 'cause you're just going through. And you guys get up to the attic. We're going to cut over to, bum-bum-bum, Cumulous. You are-

1:39:24 Zac: Meditating.

1:39:24 Brennan: Meditating.

1:39:27 Emily: This feels so wrong, but how could we not?

1:39:30 Siobhan: How could we not? We had to. Especially after we got told off, I'm like-

1:39:35 Emily: I know.

1:39:36 Brennan: So, you were sitting there for a while. The stones begin to glow. (whooshing) As they glow, you hear a voice. And you see appearing before you, multiple eyes, six wings. (whooshes) The Sugar-Plum Fairy. And you see that this is just one face that she wears and that maybe there's even other things behind that. Go ahead and give me a Perception check.

1:40:13 Zac: 19.

1:40:15 Brennan: You look past and see this spirit is making herself look small and cute, but that she is vast and powerful behind this fairy glamour.

1:40:30 Cumulous: I will not fall for your tricks. [buzzing wings]

1:40:35 Sugar-Plum Fairy: What tricks, wise monk?

1:40:41 Cumulous: I know that you are much more formidable than you appear.

1:40:46 Sugar-Plum Fairy: Oh, I'm just a sweet little fairy. Tell me, we're not so different, you and I. We both wanna save Candia's magic, is it not true?

1:40:59 Cumulous: That is true.

1:41:01 Sugar-Plum Fairy: Then we are aligned in this endeavor.

1:41:05 Cumulous: What do you want… overall?

1:41:12 Sugar-Plum Fairy: I need it, the royal family of Candia to survive. I need them to be safe. And I need them to come to where it is safe. Cumulous, I would own you a great boon if you would bring the royal family to the Great Stone Candy Mountains. There is safety there, not just for them, but for all the magic of Candia. The time is drawing close where it will be too late. There is a way to save Candia's magic, though it may not be the way that the Archmage Lazuli would have wished. But, she's only a Calorian and a mortal and she died. This way will be safer.

1:42:08 Cumulous: I don't know if I trust you.

1:42:11 Sugar-Plum Fairy: I don't know if I trust me either. [grins]

1:42:14 Cumulous: I'll think on this.

1:42:17 Brennan: We move over to- So, Theo, you're looking around the castle. Is there anything you would be doing as you're patrolling looking for stuff?

1:42:30 Murph: I think I'm probably patrolling around, but I think I'm probably also slyly looking for King Amethar, assuming that he and the Queen probably had their words and kind of wanting to know what's up?

1:42:46 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely. So, you're moving around through the castle looking for Amethar. Amethar, you just got your fuckin'--

1:42:54 Lou: Still just sitting. Even standing exactly where I was.

1:42:59 Brennan: You see that Calroy knocks on the door and says,

1:43:10 Calroy: Oooh. Bad time? Good time?

1:43:13 Amethar: Any time.

1:43:16 Calroy: (sighs heavily) Well, instead of being in the place where your wife will come back to go to sleep and maybe make you feel terrible some more, let's, I don't know, wanna go take a shit in a field? (cast laughing)

1:43:33 Brennan: You see he says,

1:43:33 Calroy: In all honesty, the ramparts of the castle need some tending to and I think we should talk about what we do if Sir Maillard fails to hold them at the Cola River.

1:43:46 Amethar: Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

1:43:48 Calroy: Let's go find Sir Theo.

1:43:50 Brennan: You see that you and Calroy head off, you're walking above the beautiful high ramparts over the vast chasm cola moat of Castle Candy. And you see that, go ahead and give me a Perception check.

1:44:13 Lou: It's only a 7.

1:44:13 Brennan: Okay. You look out over the vast fields, you see there's a ton of bivouac tents out here. Calroy looks out and says,

1:44:19 Calroy: Look at all those tents. Like 20 years of peace just flew by, huh?

1:44:26 Amethar: I guess so. Right back to where we started.

1:44:30 Calroy: I guess so.

1:44:41 Brennan: You feel a knife plunge into your back.

1:44:44 Zac: [grins] I knew it.

1:44:44 Siobhan: Fucking knew it. Shit.

1:44:48 Brennan: I'm going to need three Constitution saving throws.

1:44:53 Lou: Wanna play this game again?

1:44:53 Siobhan: Oh no.

1:44:57 Ally: Fucker.

1:45:02 Lou: All right. You want an order again?

1:45:04 Brennan: Yeah, give me an order.

1:45:07 Lou: Okay. Yeah, so first one we're gonna go… First one will be 25.

1:45:21 Brennan: 25.

1:45:21 Lou: Second one will be 10. And the last one will be 9.

1:45:30 Brennan: Okay. (sighs heavily)

1:45:38 Ally: That motherfucking piece of cake.

1:45:42 Siobhan: Fucking—

1:45:42 Emily: Oh my—

1:45:44 Siobhan: Will rip him—

1:45:44 Ally: In those hot-ass pants.

1:45:55 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:45:57 Emily: We should've known, he's an assassin.

1:45:59 Zac: [knowingly] Yeah.

1:46:00 Emily: All along he's been an assassin.

1:46:01 Siobhan: Yeah, but for us.

1:46:04 Zac: I almost made an Insight check earlier.

1:46:05 Siobhan: I know, god. He taught you how to use a sword.

1:46:11 Emily: I know.

1:46:11 Siobhan: Son of a bitch.

1:46:15 Brennan: Three. Amethar, you take 34 points of damage and are paralyzed.

1:46:30 Zac: Can you talk if you're paralyzed, or no?

1:46:32 Siobhan: No, you can't do anything if you're paralyzed.

1:46:35 Lou: Great.

1:46:38 Brennan: Calroy puts a gloved hand over your shoulder and twists the dagger into your back. (groans) You feel your body (gasps) freeze up staring out over the estates of Candia. See, he goes,

1:46:52 Calroy: You know what I always hated about you, Amethar?

1:46:57 Emily: (groans)

1:47:02 Calroy: You were so damned lucky. I mean, fifth in line for the throne and the crown rests on your head. And each of your sisters better and more [twists the knife] clever than you. It really makes the unfortunate minor lord of a less than wealthy barony feel… a little underwhelming. Oh, I'll say your sisters were a little bit less lucky. The least lucky thing that ever happened to Rococoa was when she found out that I was selling weapons to the Ceresians. That, that had to be dealt with and I think you'll remember how strange it was that she was found riddled with arrows so far behind our own lines! But that's war, and strange things happen all the time. Ceresians, I find, are very reasonable. Very reasonable. [points] And you can see some of their tents out here in the field.

1:48:07 Emily: Oh my god, all along he's cake, he's part. Oh my god. [covers her face]

1:48:12 Calroy: You know, I don't have luck, so I have to work. I have to work a lot. First I had to put the little cheese boy onto the scent of the Duchess Coldbottle and I had to ferry his idiot sailors all the way up the Sucrosi Road to that little farmhouse, I mean, had to get them there somehow, they couldn't sail there, could they? And they would be so suspicious walking up the road. And yet, you miraculously survived when you should have died! Amethar the Unfallen. You uncharacteristically leave a fight, you jump out of the ring rather than trying to behead that carrot. And they call the tournament, even with all the work that me and Alfredi put in to getting those water steel daggers into her hands. I… I thought I was going to fail. And then… And then your friend Manta Ray Jack mentioned a girl at the banquet stashed somewhere in the Dairy Islands and I thought, that's so interesting. Amethar and I are best friends, war buddies as far back as we can remember. Why would he never tell me? And I got to thinking, Amethar was never quiet about his exploits as a roving Prince of Candia, so why didn't I hear about this girl? And I thought, I'd better talk with Manta Ray Jack. He didn't wanna talk, but a few fingers and pints of blood later we remembered your sister's book, very useful your sister, very useful indeed, up until a young Belizabeth Brassica ordered her run down in the street by Vegetanian knights. That hurt because she had always been very sweet to me. Well, after Manta Ray, we saw an opportunity. You know, it hurts to have all of your plans fail, but they say that improvisation is the better part of planning, so I was happy to take advantage of that opportunity when it presented itself, Amethar. You know what happens to a man when he dies? [pause] He shits himself. So, I'll be happy to watch you shit one last time.

1:50:35 Brennan: He grabs your ankles and goes,

1:50:38 Calroy: I wonder if they'll call you Amethar the Unfallen after this. Here's to a future you can't ruin.

1:50:46 Brennan: (groans) And heaves you over the walls of the castle. (whooshes) Jet, Ruby, and Liam.

1:51:05 Siobhan: Well, we're just having a nice time, having a little sneak attack time.

1:51:08 Emily: Yeah.

1:51:11 Brennan: You guys get up into the attic. The attic is totally pitch black, but you see that there is a seam of golden light from a chest, something is being kept in a chest up in the attic.

1:51:24 Ally: I have night vision, can I check to see?

1:51:28 Brennan: Absolutely. What I am going to actually need is for- Also, you open the door, so you're leading the way. Jet and Ruby are walking in with Liam behind them, right?

1:51:41 Emily: Yeah.

1:51:41 Siobhan: Mmhm.

1:51:42 Brennan: I'm gonna need the three of you to roll initiative.

1:51:43 Siobhan: Fuck. Fuck, 10.

1:51:47 Emily: 16.

1:51:50 Brennan: Okay.

1:51:50 Ally: 20.

1:51:51 Brennan: You guys walk up. You guys can't see shit, other than that little gleam there. Liam, you come up behind them as they're already in the attic and you see four shapes in the room move.

1:52:05 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:52:08 Brennan: They are masked, dressed in black, all holding water steel.

1:52:10 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:52:16 Brennan: Liam, you are first to act.

1:52:16 Emily: Oh, that's good.

1:52:20 Ally: Cool. I just start right now?

1:52:21 Brennan: You start right now. We're not gonna go to a battle episode.

1:52:26 Ally: All right, great. I step up to one of them.

1:52:28 Brennan: Mm-hm.

1:52:34 Ally: And I attack.

1:52:34 Brennan: Yeah, awesome.

1:52:39 Ally: Do I roll?

1:52:41 Brennan: You do roll, yes.

1:52:44 Murph: Oh, so close to a nat 20.

1:52:45 Ally: So close.

1:52:45 Murph: 19.

1:52:47 Ally: It's 19.

1:52:49 Brennan: 19 hits.

1:52:50 Ally: [getting up] I didn't even have my dice out.

1:52:51 Brennan: Alright.

1:52:52 Murph: Do you need some dice?

1:52:54 Ally: Yeah, please.

1:52:54 Murph: I got some. What do you need?

1:52:55 Ally: Okay, cool. I need 10’s and 8’s and 6’s. Thanks a lot. Okay.

1:53:09 Emily: Does this mean Caramelinda's bad?

1:53:10 Ally: I'm gonna take two more attacks. Do you want me to just roll those now?

1:53:13 Siobhan: She might be.

1:53:13 Brennan: Hmm?

1:53:14 Ally: Two more attacks?

1:53:16 Brennan: Take two more attacks right now.

1:53:19 Ally: Nat 20, crit.

1:53:19 Emily: Oh.

1:53:25 Ally: 24.

1:53:26 Brennan: All of them hit, one of them's a crit.

1:53:27 Ally: Sneak Attack will be the first one.

1:53:30 Brennan: And you get the extra d8 on the first on as well.

1:53:32 Ally: This is the d10, then we add 10 to this. 10, 17, 23, so 33 for that first one.

1:53:40 Brennan: 33 the first one? Jesus.

1:53:42 Siobhan: Are they within five feet of us? Because if they are, you get Sneak Attack on all of them.

1:53:45 Ally: Yeah.

1:53:45 Siobhan: Okay, great.

1:53:47 Emily: I thought Sneak Attack was just once per round?

1:53:47 Brennan: It's once per round.

1:53:47 Siobhan: Oh, it is?

1:53:49 Brennan: So that's okay, yeah.

1:53:49 Brennan: Oh, yeah, yeah. Only once per round.

1:53:50 Siobhan: I didn't know that.

1:53:51 Emily: Yeah.

1:53:52 Brennan: Cool, that's 33. Not down.

1:53:55 Ally: Okay, then this next attack will be this. A d8. Oh sorry, that one actually had one more d8.

1:54:03 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:54:04 Ally: 6.

1:54:05 Brennan: 6, okay, cool.

1:54:06 Ally: Still not down?

1:54:08 Brennan: Still not down.

1:54:08 Ally: Okay. So then this attack. 10. Oh, sorry, 20.

1:54:14 Brennan: 20, Jesus. Looking extremely hurt.

1:54:22 Ally: 18.

1:54:23 Brennan: That's gonna be 59.

1:54:25 Ally: Can I see who these people are? Do I recognize any of them?

1:54:29 Brennan: Well, three peppermint bolts go into one. (whooshing)

1:54:31 Emily: Oh. Oh my— [covering her mouth]

1:54:32 Brennan: And you smell a (inhales) thick smell of sourdough.

1:54:38 Ally: Okay.

1:54:38 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:54:39 Ally: Thanks, guys.

1:54:40 Brennan: He does not drop.

1:54:42 Siobhan: Keep them just in case.

1:54:42 Ally: Oh yeah, thanks.

1:54:45 Siobhan: He doesn't drop? With that much damage?

1:54:46 Brennan: 67 damage does not drop.

1:54:49 Siobhan: Shit!

1:54:51 Ally: And then I haven't cast anything, so I cast Rope Trick and we all climb into-

1:54:54 Brennan: Rope Trick is an action.

1:54:54 Ally: Oh, got you. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's not a bonus action.

1:54:58 Siobhan: Run, Liam, run. You haven't moved.

1:55:05 Ally: Are there any windows up here?

1:55:07 Brennan: Yeah, there's windows.

1:55:07 Ally: I run and I open up a window.

1:55:10 Brennan: Okay, you can run and attempt to open it, or you can just try to crash through it.

1:55:15 Ally: I'll take damage, yeah, I'll run and try to crash through it.

1:55:17 Brennan: Okay. You run and try to crash through.

1:55:19 Ally: Oh wait, so sorry.

1:55:19 Brennan: Yeah.

1:55:22 Ally: Is this an action if I pull out my rope and just tie it to the two girls?

1:55:26 Brennan: You're not gonna be able to do that here. You can't tie it to both of them. No, 'cause you have to use your full action. The main thing for this turn-

1:55:36 Ally: So many actions!

1:55:36 Brennan: Yes, already.

1:55:37 Ally: Yeah, yeah.

1:55:38 Brennan: So, you can do a bonus action or a movement right now, are the things you can do.

1:55:41 Siobhan: Get out!

1:55:42 Ally: I'm gonna hide, is that a movement?

1:55:44 Brennan: You are invisible to people with- You see their eyes subtly glowing with that alchemical dark vision the pirates had and you are invisible, if-

1:55:51 Ally: I'm gonna hide and keep my eye on them because I know they can't see in the dark.

1:55:55 Brennan: Okay. So, you just fire and fuckin' vanish (whooshes) as Candian magic surrounds you.

1:56:02 Ally: And I'm gonna yell, I'm gonna be like-

1:56:05 Emily: Yeah, I think your arrows probably-

1:56:08 Ally: Yeah, you got it.

1:56:08 Emily: Alerted us.

1:56:10 Brennan: So, you go invisible, so that leaves just Jet and Ruby.

1:56:14 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:56:14 Ally: Fuck.

1:56:19 Brennan: Okay.

1:56:21 Siobhan: I'm not ready for this. We should've gone to bed.

1:56:26 Emily: I can't believe that's the message from this, is that we're poorly behaved.

1:56:31 Siobhan: Oh, I hate when she's right. What is he rolling for?

1:56:38 Ally: 67 and it didn't drop. That's crazy. Was that fuckin' Ciabatta? Brennan smiles very sweetly.

1:56:45 Emily: Ah!

1:56:47 Ally: [throws their pen] I'm done. I'm done with this season. (cast laughing)

1:56:54 Brennan: [sighs] Ruby. I'm going to need three Constitution saving throws from you.

1:57:01 Siobhan: Can I use… Yak?

1:57:05 Brennan: On one of them.

1:57:07 Siobhan: All right.

1:57:08 Brennan: Actually, he can't take a reaction, he can't give you the Help action, I'm afraid.

1:57:10 Siobhan: Okay.

1:57:12 Brennan: So, just give me three Constitution saves.

1:57:16 Emily: Oh, do you get- Oh no. Oh no, that's-

1:57:19 Siobhan: Oh yeah, I do have- (muffled speaking) Within five feet. Oh, we have to have given it to each other.

1:57:24 Emily: Yeah, yeah. (mumbles)

1:57:26 Siobhan: I got a 14, a 15, and a 17.

1:57:29 Zac: What are you at?

1:57:29 Brennan: In that order? 14, 15, 17?

1:57:30 Siobhan: Sure.

1:57:34 Ally: Do you add stuff to 'em?

1:57:35 Siobhan: That's added.

1:57:35 Ally: Okay.

1:57:36 Brennan: I'm going to need six Constitution saving throws from Jet.

1:57:45 Emily: Okay, let's do it three at a time. Okay, I'm gonna do-

1:57:50 Murph: You should have, 'cause you redid your—

1:57:54 Emily: I know, I- Yeah.

1:57:56 Murph: Yeah.

1:57:56 Emily: What was that?

1:57:58 Murph: Cause if you're a fighter now your Constitution should be your thing, not your Intelligence, Dexterity anymore. Right?

1:58:05 Zac: Your proficiencies.

1:58:06 Brennan: Oh, that's right, your proficiency-

1:58:06 Emily: Okay, okay.

1:58:08 Murph: You should have a plus 7 to constitution.

1:58:09 Emily: Okay, so I have plus 7 to constitution, so 13, 23, 26.

1:58:21 Siobhan: Fuck. Three 5’s.

1:58:23 Emily: Three 5’s. And then 12, 12, 12. (intense music)

1:58:36 Siobhan: [shaky] I can't believe you're fucking Red Wedding-ing us. (cast laughing)

1:58:41 Ally: In a lingerie shop.

1:58:44 Siobhan: So humiliating.

1:58:45 Brennan: Tearaway underwear is truly everywhere.

1:58:52 Emily: Did any attacks miss on me?

1:58:55 Brennan: Oh, yeah.

1:58:56 Emily: Then I can riposte.

1:59:00 Brennan: Normally you can't use reactions when you're surprised, I will let you get a riposte in.

1:59:03 Emily: Okay. Yeah, whoever missed me. Wait, let me just double check riposte. My mind is- That's gonna be a 23. Does a 23 hit?

1:59:20 Brennan: Does a 23 hit? Yes, it does.

1:59:22 Emily: Okay. Not a great roll, but 13.

1:59:27 Brennan: 13 damage, hell yeah.

1:59:28 Zac: Is it the injured guy?

1:59:28 Emily: Yeah, whoever missed me. God, that feels like nothing.

1:59:37 Zac: I wonder how injured that guy is.

1:59:38 Brennan: The injured guy is not the guy who landed the attack on you.

1:59:39 Emily: Okay.

1:59:42 Brennan: So, you deal 13 damage. You reach out, (whooshes). As your sword flies out in the dark just wildly (yells) at some invisible attacker you can't see-

1:59:55 Siobhan: Can Theo not feel us getting hit?

1:59:58 Emily: Swirlwarden.

1:59:59 Brennan: Swirlwarden!

2:00:00 Ally: I get advantage on Intelligence checks. Can I see if this is Ciabatta?

2:00:04 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

2:00:08 Ally: Yeah, that's a 20.

2:00:10 Brennan: Yeah, one of the masked assassins in here is Senator Ciabatta.

2:00:15 Ally: Can I cast Hunter's Mark on him?

2:00:17 Brennan: You gotta wait for your turn.

2:00:18 Ally: It's a bonus action, I should've done it.

2:00:21 Brennan: Okay. We'll go. 1, 2, 3, 4.

2:00:26 Ally: Oh. (mumbles)

2:00:31 Brennan: 6, 7, 8.

2:00:36 Siobhan: Fuck.

2:00:42 Emily: I wish you could stack superiority die so that I could've maneuvered Ruby out.

2:00:49 Brennan: 28, 36, 44, 46.That is going to be… 49 damage to Ruby.

2:01:13 Siobhan: Okay, I have 3 hit points.

2:01:24 Brennan: [shaking a lot of dice for a long time] It's gonna be 11, 18, 30, 37, 42, 53 damage to Jet from the first attack.

2:01:43 Murph: Oh, Jesus.

2:01:43 Siobhan: No.

2:01:48 Emily: I am… fully gonna be down.

2:01:54 Brennan: And then 6, 10, 20, 32, 42, 48, 51 damage to Jet on second attempt.

2:02:09 Emily: Okay, I'm down.

2:02:09 Brennan: Okay. You also fall victim to the poisoned condition. That is their turn. Next in the order is Jet, you're going to make a death saving throw with disadvantage.

2:02:22 Onscreen text: House Rule: Poisoned gives disadvantage on death saving throws.

2:02:28 Emily: Still got it.

2:02:35 Murph: 11, 17.

2:02:35 Ally: Yes!

2:02:36 Emily: Still success.

2:02:36 Ally: Fuck yeah.

2:02:39 Brennan: Okay. Ruby, that's your turn.

2:02:46 Siobhan: (sighs) Fuck. God. I would like to… shoot at the one that Liam has already shot at.

2:03:04 Liam: Run!

2:03:04 Jet: I think you should run.

2:03:08 Siobhan: Fuck. [tearing up] I cast Invisibility on myself and I run.

2:03:15 Brennan: [whooshing] You cast invisibility, you flee.

2:03:18 Siobhan: [crying] And I try and run to Theo as fast as I can.

2:03:22 Brennan: You sprint down the stairs away from Dulcington. Liam, you're in the corner. It is your turn. Attacking them will alert them to your presence, but it is your turn after Ruby flees.

2:03:41 Ally: Great. I cast Rope Trick and I grab… her, and we both go up.

2:03:50 Brennan: Hell yeah. You (whooshing) grab Jet, disappear into the rope trick. You see the mask pulled off and you see Ciabatta, badly injured, says,

2:04:08 Ciabatta: They disappeared using some Candian magic. Find them!

2:04:11 Brennan: You see the other three drop to their knees and say,

2:04:14 Ceresian Assassins: Yes, imperator. [blaring, ominous music]

2:04:18 Brennan: Stand up and they, (whooshes) leave. Okay. [sighs] We are out of that combat as you sprint back to the castle.

2:04:26 Emily: God.

2:04:27 Brennan: I'm going to need Jet to give me another death saving throw with disadvantage.

2:04:31 Murph: Fuck. Oh.

2:04:32 Emily: I got a 1.

2:04:35 Brennan: That's two failures.

2:04:35 Emily: Okay. So, I have to go again? (laughs)

2:04:44 Brennan: Or you can roll again.

2:04:45 Ally: Can I use my turn to give her the Help action?

2:04:51 Brennan: Yeah. Well, give me a medicine check.

2:04:56 Murph: Fuck.

2:04:58 Ally: 6.

2:05:01 Brennan: She is just bleeding out, water corroding her body. (gasping) Looking up. I'm gonna need one last death saving throw from Jet.

2:05:14 Ally: Can I give her advantage so that it-

2:05:16 Brennan: You did not hit the Medicine DC-

2:05:18 Ally: Oh, oh, I got you. Okay, yeah, yeah.

2:05:22 Murph: Fuck.

2:05:22 Emily: I got another 1. Siobhan wipes a tear. Ally covers their face with their hands. (sad music)

2:05:30 Brennan: Hidden away in a veil of shadows. Liam, your hands over Jet's body, as she looks up… Trying to suck in breath, you do your best to attempt to fix, but the poison works. Jet, the last thing you feel is a bright warm glow on your Locket of the Sweetest Heart. Ruby racing up the street as fast as you can, you hold fast to the locket. You sprint over the bridge, and just as you pass over the bridge, the light in the locket goes out. Siobhan and Emily are crying.

2:06:37 Jet: Tell Ruby I love her.

2:06:43 Brennan: In this place between worlds, Liam… you look up and you hear those words, not from Jet on the ground, but from Jet standing above you.

2:07:03 Jet: And tell her she did the right thing.

2:07:10 Brennan: Hands are placed on Jet's back. You hear the voice of your aunt whisper in your ear,

2:07:23 Rococoa: Good job, soldier. You got her home. Ruby's gonna be alright.

2:07:32 Jet: Thank you.

2:07:34 Rococoa: Work's not over. There's plenty we can do from this side. You ready?

2:07:43 Jet: I mean, yeah, that sounds awesome.

2:07:50 Rococoa: I have bad news. If you thought the adventure was gonna end, it's not.

2:07:58 Jet: Well, if you thought the adventurer was gonna die, she definitely fuckin' wasn't.

2:08:04 Brennan: She kisses you on the cheek and says,

2:08:04 Rococoa: Let's get to work.

2:08:17 Brennan: [sighs] Theo.

2:08:17 Murph: Mm-hm.

2:08:19 Brennan: You are walking through the castle, looking for some other of the knights of North-Gumbia. You find Toby's quarters, Sir Toby's quarters and they look sort of, messier than normal, which he's a very neat, crisp knight, which is a little bit unusual to you. As you go in to investigate, you see Sir Toby's body butchered in a corner of the room and you hear the iron door of his quarters slammed behind you and locked. You hear the voice of some Muffinfield soldiers, some of Lord Cruller's men saying,

2:09:04 Muffinfield Soldier: (laughs) Keep the bear behind the iron door. Have fun in there! If you get hungry, your friend Toby should be able to help you with a meal. You're a bear after all, aren't you?

2:09:20 Murph: I think Theo's just running through just a million thoughts at once, just like, how did I not see this? How did I not suspect anything? Where's the King? All of this. (sighs) Can I hear how many people are outside the door?

2:09:39 Brennan: Only probably two or three.

2:09:41 Murph: I cast Knock on the door. Brennan jerks back in shock, jaw dropped.

2:09:44 Emily: Yeah!

2:09:46 Siobhan: Yes, bitch.

2:09:46 Emily: Yeah!

2:09:47 Murph: It automatically unlocks a door.

2:09:52 Brennan: [laughs in disbelief] You hear them snickering outside and the Lord Commander of the Tartguard, Knight of North-Gumbia, the door bursts off its hinges, flies and thuds into the wall across and they whip around to look at you. We cut over to Cumulous. The fairy smiles, vanishes, and you hear shouting in the castle.

2:10:10 Zac: I run to the shouting.

2:10:12 Brennan: Amethar. You are falling. (wind whistling) You are falling from one of the highest parapets deep into the crevasse of the moat of Castle Candy. I'm going to need you to make- You have enough time falling to make three more Constitution checks to attempt at the end, or at the beginning of each turn, attempt to come out of paralysis.

2:10:37 Emily: Oh my god, oh my god.

2:10:38 Zac: How close am I to that?

2:10:40 Brennan: You're a million miles away.

2:10:41 Siobhan: How close am I to that?

2:10:43 Brennan: Probably also a million miles away. When we get to his last roll we can make some rolls to see exactly how close you are.

2:10:49 Siobhan: Okay.

2:10:52 Brennan: Go ahead and roll on the board, first Constitution roll.

2:10:56 Murph: Yes!

2:10:56 Emily: Oh.

2:10:57 Lou: 21.

2:10:59 Brennan: You come out of paralysis.

2:11:00 Murph: Yes!.

2:11:00 Ally: Come on.

2:11:05 Emily: Rage. Rage, take the half damage. Brennan is pouring out a lot of dice; it does in fact sound like cereal.

2:11:08 Ally: Oh, is that some cereal?

2:11:09 Murph: Oh, dude, you can rage. Rage in the air.

2:11:11 Brennan: Max damage-

2:11:14 Lou: Can I rage on the next two turns worth of falling? I mean, it's been established that there's three turns of falling, I'd like to take one to come out of paralysis, two—

2:11:28 Siobhan: If we have to obey the rules, you have to obey the rules. (cast laughing)

2:11:31 Murph: I mean, he would be pretty mad.

2:11:35 Zac: Can you suck at rage?

2:11:35 Murph: If there ever was a time to rage—

2:11:36 Ally: Yeah, Cruller literally-

2:11:38 Lou: Literally rage.

2:11:38 Ally: Just twisted a knife while monologuing about how he killed all of his sisters, like—

2:11:43 Murph: I feel like I should rage.

2:11:45 Brennan: I actually messed something up before in the thing with Jet's last stab was at Ciabatta. Ciabatta was the one who stabbed you.

2:11:54 Emily: Okay.

2:11:55 Brennan: Ciabatta was the one who stabbed you.

2:11:56 Ally: What did you use for that?

2:11:58 Emily: Just a riposte, it was a reaction.

2:11:59 Ally: It wasn't the poison dagger, or whatever?

2:12:01 Emily: I don't have a water dagger, I used mine on the Pontifex.

2:12:04 Ally: Oh, fuck yeah, okay.

2:12:04 Emily: Yeah.

2:12:05 Siobhan: I still have mine, for what fuckin' good it's done me.

2:12:09 Ally: I feel sick. (laughs)

2:12:10 Emily: I know.

2:12:12 Siobhan: Oh, I have a list. Oh, I have a list.

2:12:15 Ally: Oh, you get Bill and Hill in here.

2:12:17 Siobhan: Brother, I have a list.

2:12:19 Brennan: The max falling damage is 20d6, you're gonna take all of that. You may fly into a rage just before you hit the ground.

2:12:27 Lou: Great.

2:12:27 Zac: Can you… Can you Second Wind?

2:12:33 Lou: Yeah, I'll-

2:12:33 Siobhan: I mean-

2:12:34 Emily: Oh yeah, you're a fighter! Do you have Second Wind?

2:12:35 Lou: I do have Second Wind. (Emily gasps) Can I use one turn to Second Wind and one turn-

2:12:40 Zac: Well rage- Going into rage is a bonus action!

2:12:42 Brennan: Yeah. You can Second Wind. You have two rounds, so you can do Second Wind on one.

2:12:47 Lou: Great, here we go.

2:12:50 Emily: I'm shaking, oh my god.

2:12:50 Ally: Stay alive. Stay alive long enough.

2:12:52 Lou: One d10 plus 2?

2:12:53 Siobhan: Please stay alive.

2:12:53 Brennan: One d10 plus 2.

2:12:56 Lou: That's 1, plus 2, equals 3.

2:12:58 Brennan: How many hit points do you have?

2:12:59 Lou: 51.

2:13:01 Murph: Oh, come on, dude.

2:13:02 Brennan: All right, let's see this falling damage, max falling damage. Before I roll, what is going through Amethar's mind?

2:13:10 Lou: As I fall, I think the two things I see are… Ruby tied to the rope… on La Fondue shooting an arrow straight through the captain's head and then the look on Jet's face when she stabbed the guy on the… that road and we did the daddy daughter special for the first time. Brennan rolls a tremendous amount of d6’s onto the table.

2:13:53 Zac: There's so many fucking dice.

2:13:55 Brennan: 8, 11, 16, 21, 28, 26. (whispering) (sighs) Amethar takes 72 points of falling damage—

2:14:13 Murph: Fuck!

2:14:31 Emily: But halved—

2:14:31 Brennan: ...Halved to 36.

2:14:35 Murph: Dude! (Lou groaning)

2:14:38 Brennan: How many hit points does Amethar have?

2:14:39 Lou: 35. Excuse me, 50 minus 35-

2:14:44 Siobhan: That's like, 15.

2:14:44 Lou: Which is 15.

2:14:47 Brennan: You fall for hours. You look across the bridge and see a glowing point of heart red light crossing the bridge and then extinguish. You hear the noise of shouts from within the castle. You know the moment that the heart red light goes out that Jet is gone.

2:15:13 Lou: I think that's the angriest I've ever been at the world and myself that this is where I am at this time.

2:15:26 Brennan: Like a meteor falling from the sky, the King erupts in flame, strikes into the ground. Cola steam and bright purple and pink rocks (whooshes) crater. From the dust and rubble, the King of Candia stands, having fallen from the height of his own castle, alive, as the sounds of war erupt. That's all for this episode on "A Crown of Candy".

2:16:00 Siobhan: [whispering] You son of a bitch. [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 10: Blood & Bread] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20]

2:16:04 Caramelinda: What is happening?

2:16:05 Theobald: We're being attacked by Calroy's soldiers.

2:16:07 Calroy: [sing-song] Caramelinda! Where are you?

2:16:13 Brennan: Around the corner, you see the Ceresians, they go,

2:16:15 Ceresian: (laughs) It is a royal!

2:16:16 Liam: We are fucked!

2:16:16 Theobald: Everyone knows.

2:16:18 Liam: And because of that, we are fucked. (groaning)

2:16:22 Zac: To get in the chariot and I'm gonna ride the horses off this cliff. (gasping) (horses whinnying)

2:16:28 Sprinkle: For Candia! (whooshing)

2:16:32 Brennan: This game fuckin' rules.

2:16:32 Captions extracted by: Kyber Bonsai

2:16:32 Edited by: Kyber Bonsai, numblee, gluegunshots, rowan solsys