Tartguard

The Tartguard are the royal guards of Candia: huge, circle-headed tart men with big wobbly heads, little pantaloons and fencing rapiers, and they are not heavily armored like the Gumbar Knights CC E1·00:07:21. Brennan introduces one of them with a campy line to another: "Quincy, stop it. When you use your fencing saber on me like that, it tickles so terribly." CC E1·00:07:39. When the princesses need to look sad, the Tartguard slug each other in the stomach to make themselves cry CC E1·01:06:06. One of them says "Haha, we don't spend our money!" CC E1·01:03:57.

The Tartguard are the royal guards of Candia, goofy and campy, who escort King Amethar and his family CC E1·00:07:21 CC E6·00:15:32. In the ambush on the Sucrosi Road, a Tartguard named Quincy shouts "Kill my friends! Well, you'll not kill our good time." CC E2·00:16:10 CC E2·00:16:20. Theobald says they are newer recruits whom he tried to train and who like to tickle each other CC E2·00:48:18. Told to grab the last enemy alive, the last Tartguard rolls a natural 20, says "For Candia!" and puts his spear through the enemy's eye CC E2·01:51:17 CC E2·01:51:24 CC E2·01:51:26. Brennan then rolls death saves for the fallen Tartguard, and 10, 10, 11, 15 and 16 mean they all survive CC E2·01:54:56.

Five Tartguard are injured and carried in a wagon, and Brennan counts the party's thirty guards minus those injured CC E3·00:18:21 CC E3·00:31:53. Later the wounded have been healed and Theobald has the full thirty Tartguard around him CC E4·01:38:23. In the cathedral fight in Comida, seven Tartguard are with Amethar and Lou's character orders them to hold off the Imperial guard CC E6·00:05:05 CC E6·00:32:23. Five of them fall to pilums in the first volley, and Brennan says the rest fall later in the fight CC E6·00:53:19 CC E6·01:19:28. Brennan's narration titles Theobald Lord Commander of the Tartguard CC E8·00:46:50. Brennan places some Tartguard at Port Syrup and has Tartguard come in at Castle Candy CC E9·01:05:38 CC E9·01:26:08.