Ambush On the Sucrosi Road

0:00:19 Brennan: Hello one and all. And welcome back to an exciting episode of A Crown of Candy. I'm your humble Dungeon Master Brennan Lee Mulligan, with me as always are our intrepid heroes. Say hi intrepid heroes.

0:00:30 Ally: It's episode two.

0:00:32 Siobhan: Brennan already killed me.

0:00:34 Ally: I'm already exhausted.

0:00:38 Zac: Why are you doing this?

0:00:39 Emily: I don’t feel— I feel trepid. (Brennan laughs)

0:00:43 Ally: I feel trepid today.

0:00:43 Emily: I feel trepid.

0:00:44 Brennan: Today I feel trepid. The caravan of Candia's diplomatic envoy to the capital city of Comida, is well on its way down the Sucrosi road to meet their Imperial escorts to go to Comida at the behest of the Concordant Emperor, Gustavo Uvano. The emperor has grown sick and has called on his old friend Amethar to come, because, according to the laws of the Concord, he must choose an heir from the head of state of another nation, in order to keep the peace between the six kingdoms of Calorum. On your way… You're traveling through the borderlands of Candia. Peppermint trees, you see the Sucrosi road and its many bright colors stretching ahead of you. It is a beautiful Fruitday on this, the 23rd day of Highbright, getting into almost late summer. As you're traveling, Liam and Amethar are talking, the Herald is keeping company up in the front wagon. Liam, you're talking about keeping alongside the Cola River and, getting along with Amethar, talking about the geography of Candia, which of the things that a King should know about his land, geography is actually probably one of the ones that Amethar knows pretty well. You've fought the length and breadth of Candia. And as you're talking, Liam, you just get a weird sense. Preston kinda pokes up and looks out for a second. And you just hear a little (arrow whooshes) and you hear, (arrow thunks) into the walls. The wagon behind you… Theobald, you look out at a bright sunny field. It's a Fruitday, it's not Bulbday, it's not the Sabbath. And you look at a beautiful farm field with no farmers working. And you hear word of the fallen tree up ahead blocking the road. And Ruby, you're doing an incredible acrobatic handstand, your feet in the air, and you feel--

0:02:48 Emily: The supportive of the hand of her sister?

0:02:50 Brennan: The supportive hand of her sister. In the middle of your acrobatics, you suddenly feel a sharp tug, and something moves. And the information comes backwards into your head. Immediately you're like, my head's wet and hot. And you can't swallow, and you tumble, (thuds) hitting your head and shoulders as you tumble onto the roof of the wagon, and something else painful thuds deep into your ribs. And it lets you know that the first thing that hit you, is an arrow that has gone through your throat.

0:03:27 Ally: Yeah. Fuck!

0:03:33 Brennan: You immediately lose consciousness collapsing onto the roof of the second wagon. And here's your mini. [laughs]

0:03:43 Emily: How can you do that? How can you say you're dead, and here's your mini?

0:03:47 Lou: What the fuck?

0:03:47 Murph: You sick--

0:03:47 Ally: Here was your mini?

0:03:49 Siobhan: Can I dig up some of this ground to fucking bury her?

0:03:50 Lou: Who taught you etiquette dude?

0:03:54 Siobhan: You fucking piece of shit.

0:03:55 Brennan: I don’t know, If you’re lucky you’ll get to take an action.

0:03:56 Siobhan: God. Well, she looks great—

0:03:56 Lou: Wow!

0:04:00 Ally: You are sassy today, you are sassy today. Brennan looks into the camera, winks and starts shimmying.

0:04:03 Lou: My man is sassy, don't dance.

0:04:07 Emily: Don’t you shimmy!

0:04:07 Lou: Don't you shimmy.

0:04:08 Emily: It's okay Ruby, I got you Ruby.

0:04:11 Lou: How am I supposed to—

0:04:12 Emily: My sister shall not fall.

0:04:13 Brennan: As you feel, again, just hot, wet, soaking into the top of your doublet, the lights go out in your eyes and you are in inky blackness, and you feel yourself letting go of a bar on two ropes behind you reaching out for the next bar in the trapeze. (blows) And you see it floating out in the darkness and you're not sure if it's coming towards you or moving away from you. And you hear a voice in your head say,

0:04:58 Voice: (whispering) Ruby, bring it towards you.

0:05:02 Brennan: (blows) As you are flying in midair, and we leap into battle. We are going to—

0:05:10 Theobald: Anybody think it's weird that there's no farmers out there? (shouting) Oh my God, the Princess has been shot!

0:05:15 Brennan: (laughs) We are gonna start at the top of initiative order with Liam. Liam, you are in the front wagon. We're gonna take the little top off of this bad boy here. You got a little meep out in front, meep. (squeaks)

0:05:31 Ally: Cute.

0:05:32 Brennan: Feeling very frightened—

0:05:34 Emily: Don't call them cute, they will kill us.

0:05:36 Brennan: (laughs) (threateningly, to the camera) Nothing's cute.

0:05:37 Lou: Yeah.

0:05:38 Siobhan: Yeah these, motherfuckers are not cute.

0:05:40 Zac: These are cute.

0:05:41 Ally: These are--

0:05:42 Siobhan: They are really cute.

0:05:44 Emily: Fine the meeps are cute, as long as they don't turn on us.

0:05:45 Brennan: Okay, hold on one second. I'd like to present to you, Liam Wilhelmina of the House Jawbreaker. (cast cheers)

0:05:54 Ally: Oh my God, pretty in pink! (laughs)

0:05:59 Lou: Look at that peppermint.

0:06:01 Ally: Oh my God, yup, and he’s got a bottle.

0:06:02 Emily: What about the piglet? Show us the piglet, the people demand piglet!

0:06:04 Brennan: Oh and of course, how could I forget, Peppermint Preston!

0:06:05 Ally: Yes!

0:06:07 Siobhan: The hero of the day. (cheers)

0:06:10 Ally: (excited) Oh my God! (drops the Liam mini and its head falls off)

0:06:12 Brennan: We also have the Herald.

0:06:14 Ally: Yeah!

0:06:15 Brennan: Oh, you've smashed your head off right away. Emily and Murph look shocked.

0:06:16 Murph: Oh no!

0:06:17 Ally: I’ve smashed my head off immediately. Very sad.

0:06:18 Lou: What a thrill.

0:06:19 Ally: Can I get a little bit of gum?

0:06:20 Emily: This does not bode well!

0:06:20 Ally: Can I get a little bit of gum?

0:06:22 Siobhan: Wow.

0:06:24 Emily: (yells nervously)

0:06:26 Brennan: We're just gonna gum it right now, real quick, and then we'll keep your head on there. I must also present, because in the wagon with you is the herald, Poncival Pishpuff, and King Amethar Rocks. (cheers)

0:06:39 Lou: Oh, I wanna be mad at you, but it's very hard to do so.

0:06:41 Siobhan: Oh my God, look at the cloak.

0:06:43 Lou: God damn, look at my sweeping cape, my beautiful crown, oh! I'm fucking ruthless, dude.

0:06:47 Siobhan: You’re a beast.

0:06:49 Lou: Hell yeah.

0:06:50 Siobhan: Absolute beast mode.

0:06:51 Brennan: Go ahead and place your mini there. Liam what is it, you are in the carriage, you are first to act. What do you do?

0:06:58 Ally: All right. You know what I'm gonna do?

0:07:00 Brennan: What's that?

0:07:01 Ally: Okay. So where am I? I'm with the King.

0:07:03 Brennan: You're in this first carriage here, the door is at the back.

0:07:07 Ally: And where… Okay, cool. Okay. I guess we'll put little Liam in there, right?

0:07:14 Brennan: Yeah. Or if you're gonna move, you know—

0:07:17 Ally: I'm gonna lead… Preston moves on my turn probably?

0:07:21 Brennan: Yes, Preston moves on your turn.

0:07:22 Ally: Okay, Preston is gonna take the help action and just kinda hang in there and I am going to move...

0:07:28 Brennan: There's a little door leading to the seat at the front. There have not been drivers for these carriages, because the, the meeps were being hand-led by soldiers.

0:07:39 Emily: (concerned) Wait, are the meeps in danger? (Ally chuckles)

0:07:42 Brennan: Everyone's in a lot of danger.

0:07:44 Lou: There's no time to worry about the meeps.

0:07:46 Siobhan: Don’t think about me! Save the meeps! (Emily laughs)

0:07:47 Ally: I'm gonna, can I lean out the front? Can I duck and take cover at the front and shoot out the front?

0:07:49 Emily: (crosstalk, to Siobhan) You would say that, Ruby.

0:07:51 Brennan: You absolutely can. If you try to lean out and not like square up and occupy a square, you will take disadvantage on the attack. But because Preston is giving you advantage, it'll just cancel out and be a straight roll.

0:08:02 Ally: Okay.

0:08:04 Brennan: And you will have cover, which means anyone trying to attack you will have disadvantage.

0:08:07 Ally: Okay, great. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. So turn that way and I'm gonna aim for this guy right here.

0:08:11 Brennan: Right there? Awesome. Go ahead and roll your attack.

0:08:14 Ally: Okay, I'm also gonna cast Hail of Thorns to add to this attack.

0:08:19 Brennan: Ooh, awesome. Hold on one second.

0:08:19 Lou: (clicking) Let’s go.

0:08:20 Ally: And this is just a bonus action. So I just… It's a normal attack?

0:08:26 Brennan: This is a normal attack.

0:08:27 Ally: Hey, there we go. That is a 24.

0:08:33 Brennan: (reading) The sprouts from your ranged-- in addition to the normal effect of the attack the target of the attack and each creature within five feet of it must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 1d10 piercing damage on a failed save. Hold on, I do have to do this actually. (rolls) Ooh! Awesome. So go ahead and roll damage for that one. Your Hail of Thorns. So your bolt splits in mid air into a little storm of candy cane shards.

0:08:55 Ally: Uh huh.

0:08:55 Siobhan: Sick.

0:08:58 Brennan: That actually, reveals a hidden opponent there, who screams out and also takes 1d10 damage.

0:09:06 Siobhan: What the fuck?

0:09:06 Ally: Heey!

0:09:08 Siobhan: There's invisible guys here? I'm dead, I'll shut up.

0:09:09 Emily: What the?

0:09:12 Lou: Okay. I'm sorry.

0:09:12 Zac: Invisible?

0:09:13 Brennan: Go ahead and roll your crossbow damage.

0:09:15 Ally: Okay, this is just the normal crossbow damage, which will be 11.

0:09:21 Brennan: 11, great.

0:09:21 Ally: ‘Cause I added plus 6 for a favorite enemy. And then this is for each of them for Hail of Thorns.

0:09:29 Brennan: That is, yes. Oh yeah. A creature takes-- let me see. In addition to the normal effect the target and each creature within 5 feet-- Yep, absolutely go for it.

0:09:35 Ally: So 11 plus 2. Okay, so that's 13.

0:09:41 Brennan: 13, or it's a … I think they just take whatever you roll in the d10. So what did you roll on that d10?

0:09:48 Ally: Oh, just a 2. So the other person takes their 2 and the first person will take 13.

0:09:52 Brennan: 13, and then, seven ... will just take 2.. So you've revealed another enemy and, (blows) You see, You just like lean out and you're undercover, you're lying sideways through the front carriage door, (pops) And fire out of your crossbow. Quick thinking from Liam. Then that's going to be Jet, that is your turn.

0:10:11 Emily: Okay. So my hand is on Ruby's ankle.

0:10:15 Brennan: Correct.

0:10:16 Emily: And I feel Ruby's normally flawless form, go uncharacteristically limp. So I rip her into the carriage.

0:10:27 Brennan: Okay, I'm going to need an Athletics check for you to be able to do that.

0:10:32 Emily: What about Acrobatics?

0:10:34 Brennan: This is Athletics, but I'm going to set the DC, this is your sister, I'm gonna set the DC at 10.

0:10:42 Zac: Theobald is holding her too, right?

0:10:43 Siobhan: Oh yeah.

0:10:44 Brennan: You did say you were holding her, but this is a DC 10 Athletics check.

0:10:50 Murph: Fuck!

0:10:51 Emily: I failed.

0:10:53 Brennan: You lose your grip on your sister.

0:10:55 Emily: What? Okay, I'm gonna turn to Lapin, and say,

0:11:01 Jet: I know that you're working with the Sugar-Plum Fairy, so heal my fucking sister or everyone knows.

0:11:05 Emily: And then I'm gonna just—

0:11:05 Lapin: Listen, what? (laughs)

0:11:07 Theobald: What's going on right now?

0:11:08 Lapin: Hold on.

0:11:09 Jet: Yeah. Heal my sister or I will tell everyone about the Sugar-Plum Fairy.

0:11:15 Emily: And then I guess, can I … do I have enough to try and jump onto the—

0:11:19 Brennan: That Athletics was a free part of your movement. If you wanna just move up onto the—

0:11:24 Emily: Okay, I'm gonna jump… I wanna move up and then cover her body with mine.

0:11:28 Theobald: (groaning) Oh Jet.

0:11:30 Emily: Cover her body with mine, and then use the Locket of the Sweetest, which is a friendship locket between me and Ruby to give her bonus, to give her advantage on her next saving throw. So I cover her since we're twins, I'm fully a shield mirroring—

0:11:44 Ally: Oh, fuck.

0:11:48 Brennan: Princess Jet of the House of Rocks, here's your mini. (Emily yells)

0:11:51 Lou: Oh, gosh.

0:11:52 Emily: In a world full of color, black is really all the colors together.

0:11:55 Lou: Oh, damn. Oh! Love the braid.

0:11:57 Brennan: Cool. So I'm gonna get you a little bit of… You leap up onto the roof of this carriage. (air whooshes) You take a little red lollipop heart that has been broken in half and it fits perfectly together with Ruby's Locket of the Sweetest Heart. You hold it, it glows. And the necklace around Ruby's neck glows. Ruby has advantage on her next saving throw—

0:12:26 Emily: And I'd also like to lie on her just precisely so that my body is exactly her frame so that I absorb anything else that comes her way.

0:12:34 Brennan: Cool, I will say that you're using your movement to get up there and ‘cause it's difficult terrain, but you climb up, you have plenty of movement to do that, and then you're using your action to give disadvantage to anyone trying to attack Ruby.

0:12:46 Emily: Okay.

0:12:47 Brennan: Cool? That is Jet. (Emily and Siobhan hold pinkies and giggle nervously)

0:12:53 Brennan: Licorina sees you jump up there, she runs over here, takes a dodge action to hide, Limon—

0:13:01 Lou: Oh, I didn't see Limon.

0:13:03 Brennan: Rushes here and takes a weapon out, he's like,

0:13:06 Limon: (exasperated) Oh no, oh no they've come to kill me finally.

0:13:10 Theobald: Yes, they have. Kill them, Limon.

0:13:12 Brennan: 5, 10, 15, 20. Master Dippins, Who I don't think we've met yet, but Master Dippins is the royal fool, runs to engage this guy.

0:13:25 Lou: Go ahead, Dippins.

0:13:26 Murph: All right.

0:13:27 Lou: Go off, Dippins, go off.

0:13:29 Dippins: (gruff voice) Well, right then, look like we've got some bad customers. (jingling) (Emily laughs)

0:13:33 Brennan: And trundles off with a pack of stuff on him. Cranberry is gonna rush over onto the other side of the meep and try to grab the meep, that is the servants. Ruby, at the beginning of your turn, I need you to make a death saving throw. You are going to—

0:13:50 Emily: With advantage!

0:13:51 Brennan: Hold on one second.

0:13:52 Emily: Oh.

0:13:53 Brennan: It's possible for you to roll two nat ones. Not likely, but possible, which means that your character would die this turn. So this is gonna be a Box of Doom roll.

0:14:02 Siobhan: Bitch!

0:14:03 Emily: (laughs) You gonna Box-of-Doom our girl in the second episode?

0:14:10 Brennan: You got 2d20 there?

0:14:11 Siobhan: I got 2d20.

0:14:12 Brennan: Go ahead and give me your first death saving throw.

0:14:17 Lou: (sing-song) Jesus!

0:14:19 Siobhan: Two 13s. Two lucky 13s! (gives peace signs) (Emily cheers)

0:14:22 Brennan: That is a success. You have one failure and one success.

0:14:26 Ally: Great job. Are these all archers too? Among these trees back here?

0:14:33 Brennan: Yes. You saw, they were firing crossbows a moment ago. Ruby, in the inky blackness—

0:14:40 Siobhan: Mm hmm?

0:14:41 Brennan: What do you do as you're moving towards the trapeze?

0:14:44 Siobhan: Can I cast Mage Hand?

0:14:48 Brennan: Yes you can.

0:14:49 Siobhan: To grab the other trapeze and like, bring it towards me?

0:14:52 Brennan: Yeah. You reach out with a little bit of Candian magic and grab the trapeze, and you see that the edges of your vision begin to turn like, indigo and violet. It's not inky blackness anymore. And you see a pair of eyes on the horizon. It's like deep purple eyes flecked with turquoise. And you see, they sort of smile at you, they sort of crease and wrinkle at the side. And you hear a voice say,

0:15:25 Voice: You are gifted in the ways of the arcane. Seems that my brother has made quite a family for himself.

0:15:35 Ruby: Are you my aunt?

0:15:38 Lazuli: Take good care of my bow, you'll have use for it.

0:15:42 Ruby: (gasps)

0:15:43 Brennan: And you are now whipping through onto another swing and can feel Sour Scratch over your shoulder here. That is going to move along and be... the Tartguard!

0:16:00 Murph: Come on, you idiots. (laughs)

0:16:03 Brennan: He's just gonna rush over here. He's gonna take—

0:16:06 Emily: Don't use the tickle blade. (giggles)

0:16:08 Murph: Real swords, gentlemen.

0:16:09 Lou: Real swords.

0:16:10 Brennan: Okay, that is gonna be… Hoo! You see that Quincy in the back runs up and says,

0:16:20 Quincy: Kill my friends! Well, you'll not kill our good time. (slaps)

0:16:25 Brennan: And then skewers him with the sword.

0:16:26 Lou: Yeah!

0:16:29 Brennan: This guy’s gonna go rush back over here to this dude, gonna attack with disadvantage over the wall. That's gonna be-- Oh, that's actually a hit.

0:16:44 Lou: Come on Wincy!

0:16:45 Brennan: All right. And then this Tartguard is gonna turn around and try to stab this dude, and misses. (air whooshes) That guy ducks. You see The tartguard says,

0:16:56 Tart guard: You shall not destroy the Royal family of Candia, haha! (Emily giggles)

0:17:02 Brennan: That's the Tartguard. King Amethar, that is your turn.

0:17:05 Lou: Okay, great. Can I start by making a Perception check from the cover, Can I make a Perception check, attempt to see any more, to see how many enemies I can clock on this battlefield?

0:17:18 Brennan: Give me a Perception check.

0:17:19 Lou: All right. (rolls his die across like half the table) Oh, missed. Don't care, (chuckles) It's 19.

0:17:25 Brennan: It's 19?

0:17:26 Lou: 19. Hey baby, it's battle sense time all right? Amethar's game.

0:17:32 Brennan: Oh my God. Hold on a second. Yeah, a bunch more appear.

0:17:36 Murph: Jeez.

0:17:37 Siobhan: (gasps) I knew that this was not enough.

0:17:40 Brennan: You clock this dude right here.

0:17:42 Lou: Great.

0:17:44 Brennan: That's eight.

0:17:48 Emily: Are they all archers on the field right now?

0:17:50 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:17:50 Lou: I think these guys are all.

0:17:54 Siobhan: There’s a guy with a mace over here that has like a helmet.

0:17:57 Brennan: So you spot a bunch of archers crouching behind the wall that are poking their head up as they reload. And one more combatant out here. Also with the 19, you spot this guy right here. You see him— he's speaking in Carnish, but there's something wrong. Do you speak Carnish, sorry?

0:18:15 Lou: Uhhhh... no.

0:18:17 Brennan: So you don't understand what he's saying, but you see he's basically only like,

0:18:19 Combatant: (speaking gibberish in a French accent)

0:18:21 Brennan: And like speaking some—

0:18:23 Emily: Carnish?

0:18:24 Brennan: He is speaking Carnish.

0:18:25 Emily: Nooooo.

0:18:26 Brennan: You hear him. He's speaking bad Carnish. And as you look at these guys—

0:18:31 Jet: It’s a ruse! I knew that my Carnish heroes wouldn't do this.

0:18:35 Brennan: Oh, you see weird like, turkey skin baldhead, they look like they had turkey or chicken skin heads. But they stink and are lrotting, and you smell rotting fish and meat. The arrow through unconscious Ruby's throat is made of pure bacon steel. So it's like, charred meat arrow, in her neck. But something—

0:19:01 Jet: I don't think these are Carnish.

0:19:02 Lou: Great.

0:19:04 Brennan: Cool. That's everything you know, but you see this guy shouting orders.

0:19:08 Lou: Great, I pop out of the… I immediately kick the fucking back door open. Scream,

0:19:13 Amethar: (yelling) Watch out for archers! Somebody clear the road! (laughs)

0:19:17 Lou: I rip my shirt off, I'm going to charge. Is this okay if I come out the back?

0:19:21 Brennan: Yeah. Sure.

0:19:22 Lou: One, two, three, four, five. Can I get all up in that guy's business?

0:19:27 Brennan: You can absolutely get all up in—

0:19:29 Emily: That's the guy who is shouting the orders?

0:19:30 Ally: No, the guy next to him.

0:19:30 Siobhan: Yeah, one away.

0:19:32 Brennan: One away. But you get to that guy in one span of movement.

0:19:35 Lou: Great. I rage, which means that anyone within 10 feet of me takes 2 damage.

0:19:40 Ally: Oh, that’s another guy.

0:19:41 Lou: And then I'll swing on him.

0:19:44 Brennan: Anyone within two feet of you takes 2—

0:19:45 Lou: Or 10 feet, excuse me. Yeah.

0:19:47 Brennan: As you do that, you hear two screams and you unlock the last two.

0:19:50 Lou: Great. (Emily laughs)

0:19:52 Ally: Last two, thank God.

0:19:54 Murph: Good job.

0:19:55 Brennan: Okay.

0:19:55 Lou: Okay.

0:19:57 Theobald: Very perceptive, my lord.

0:19:58 Amethar: (chuckles) Hey, it's game time, all right?

0:20:02 Brennan: Okay. So that's 2 damage to everyone within 10 feet of you. Hold on one second.

0:20:06 Emily: I think I'm whimpering, and whispering everything that's happening to Ruby as if she can hear it.

0:20:13 Jet: Dad, you should see dad. He's just, he's such a beast out there. (Ally giggles)

0:20:19 Brennan: Okay. Go ahead and take your swing at number eight.

0:20:22 Lou: Is that the guy underneath the--

0:20:24 Brennan: Yeah. You see that there's a… Yeah, go for it.

0:20:26 Lou: Great. Cocked nat 20?

0:20:31 Brennan: Yeah, that's a 20. We're gonna call that a 20. (everyone cheers)

0:20:33 Lou: Okay, let's kick it off right!

0:20:35 Brennan: First attack of the campaign. So that's gonna be 4d6.

0:20:42 Lou: 4d6. Ah, let's go. Oh, come on.

0:20:43 Zac: Oh my God!

0:20:48 Lou: 5, 6, 7. 7 plus 8, 13.

0:20:51 Zac: But you doubled this?

0:20:53 Brennan: No, no. You just double the dice.

0:20:54 Lou: Yes, I double the dice. So yes, 5 plus 7 plus 8. 15 right? 7 plus 8 is 15?

0:21:03 Brennan: 7 plus eight is 15, yes.

0:21:04 Lou: Great.

0:21:05 Brennan: And then is that counting rage damage or not?

0:21:07 Lou: That is counting rage damage.

0:21:08 Brennan: Oh, and is that counting your aura damage?

0:21:11 Lou: That's not counting my aura, well, my aura damage I already declared.

0:21:15 Brennan: Yes.

0:21:16 Lou: That was the 2.

0:21:17 Brennan: That's the 2.

0:21:18 Lou: Then this is just the physical attack.

0:21:19 Zac: So 17 total?

0:21:22 Lou: So yeah. Anyone who was within took 10, and then that guy takes an extra 15.

0:21:32 Ally: So he just took 25.

0:21:33 Lou: No.

0:21:34 Brennan: No no 15, he's taking 17.

0:21:36 Lou: He's taking 17.

0:21:37 Brennan: You rush up, you see this guy. And as you bring Payment Day low, whoa! You take the horn of Candia, splash yourself with cola and the pop rocks of your body, (fizzling, fireworks) and this aura of flame... The leaves of the peppermint trees catch fire as you rage, you level Payment Day, go for this guy's head and he swings out of the way just in time for you to clip his jaw, he is knocked down. However, as you hit him with that high Perception roll, you (impact sounds) his jaw goes slack on his head. You smell a stench of stinking cheese.

0:22:20 Emily: Oh ho ho!

0:22:23 Amethar: What?

0:22:24 Jet: Fucking Dairy Islands marauding as the meat.

0:22:26 Amethar: What the fuck?

0:22:28 Combatant: (spits)

0:22:29 Brennan: And you see, leaps to engage with you, that's your action bonus, action and movement. That is King Amethar. That is now going to be their turn. (upbeat music) Okay.

0:22:41 Emily: (to Murph, quietly) What did you get?

0:22:43 Murph: A 1.

0:22:43 Emily: Yup.

0:22:45 Brennan: None of these guys get advantage from hiding on the King who has spotted all of them. And the ones he didn't spot, he set on fire. (laughs)

0:22:51 Lou: Hurrah!

0:22:58 Brennan: One, two—

0:22:59 Lou: Now this happens. This is the cost of being badass.

0:23:01 Siobhan: This is what you're made for. (Brennan moves opponents closer)

0:23:06 Siobhan: Shit.

0:23:08 Brennan: Okay. But thankfully they don't get advantage on him.

0:23:16 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

0:23:18 Brennan: This guy takes a disengage—

0:23:22 Lou: From Dippins?

0:23:23 Brennan: From Dippins to go over and close with you. So that's gonna be… That's five attacks on you.

0:23:30 Zac: He gets to attack and disengage?

0:23:32 Brennan: Yes, he does.

0:23:34 Zac: You mean they're rogue?

0:23:36 Siobhan: Gotta be, right?

0:23:37 Murph: Yeah.

0:23:38 Lou: I think for the high, they beat a 19 Perception—

0:23:42 Emily: Dairy rogues.

0:23:43 Lou: So their Stealth must've been crazy.

0:23:44 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:23:45 Brennan: (tosses dice)

0:23:47 Emily: In another world, I might learn from them. (Ally laughs)

0:23:50 Lou: Not all five can hit, no crits. Not all five can hit, no crits. (puts hands together in a triangle symbol)

0:23:54 Siobhan: No crits. (puts hands together)

0:23:55 Emily: No crits. (puts hands together)

0:23:56 Zac: No crits.

0:23:56 Emily: No crits.

0:23:58 Lou: Bless us great Bulb in the sky, no crits. (raises hands up in ‘prayer’)

0:23:59 Emily: Great Bulb in the sky. (raises hands up) (laughs)

0:24:02 Ally: Oh Plum Fairy. (hands together in prayer)

0:24:02 Lou: No crits. All I ask for is no crits.

0:24:05 Ally: Please no crits.

0:24:07 Brennan: Three hits.

0:24:08 Lou: Three hits?

0:24:09 Brennan: Three hits from whatever these marauder assassins are—

0:24:15 Emily: You're raging though, right? Can you half—

0:24:16 Lou: I'm raging.

0:24:19 Brennan: And then we're gonna get an attack here. And that is a full miss from the captain. Lou takes a deep breath of relief.

0:24:32 Emily: Yeah!

0:24:34 Brennan: Hold on a second. And now I'm just gonna roll this.

0:24:38 Siobhan: Get out of here, dang fly. There is a fly whizzing around the air near Murph and then Brennan’s heads.

0:24:42 Brennan: However you see that the captain, barks an order in Carnish, goes like, (speaks gibberish). And you see that, the two that missed instead hit. You get hit five times.

0:24:56 Zac: Whoah.

0:24:56 Siobhan: Fuck!

0:24:58 Brennan: Hold on one—

0:24:59 Lou: And I'm the one who thinks I asked the Bulb not to, you know?

0:25:01 Siobhan: Yeah. Alright, Bulb.

0:25:03 Brennan: Okay.

0:25:04 Lou: Bulb, I see you. (threatening, ominous, music)

0:25:06 Brennan: You take, (dice clatter) 15 halved to 7.

0:25:23 Zac: With one attack?

0:25:28 Brennan: 9 halved to 4. 13 halved to 6. 13 halved to 6. 9 halved to 4. You guys watch your father, you're up on the roof, you watch your father the King rush out into combat, bark orders to the Candians. And immediately you see that all of these marauders turn, surround and begin to grab the cloak. There is no honor to this combat, they are trying to murder your father. We're gonna go over here with our archers.

0:25:50 Ally: Where are you at?

0:26:02 Lou: 10.

0:26:13 Ally: (whistles)

0:26:16 Brennan: Okay, these two are gonna take a shot at Liam, hanging out of the window. They get disadvantage. That's still gonna be a hit, but there's no one within 5 feet of you. So that's just gonna be, Liam takes 7 points of damage, all attacks miss Jet.

0:26:46 Emily: (sighs in relief)

0:26:49 Brennan: This guy is gonna take a shot over here, 16... 6 and 2 is 8. This Tartguard right here gets shot but does not go down. And then this last one right here is going for that Tartguard. He's going to disengage, back up, take a shot, and miss. And now we're gonna roll a bunch of Stealth checks.

0:27:31 Ally: Huh. Okay.

0:27:32 Siobhan: Oh, they can go re invisible? Shit.

0:27:36 Brennan: Vanishes. (blows) Doesn't vanish, just ducks down behind the wall. None of them do and, dah, dah, dah vanishes. These guys here, are going to… No, they have nowhere to hide. They're in direct melee with you. Okay, Amethar, at what health is the king at?

0:27:52 Lou: 10.

0:28:07 Murph: Fuck.

0:28:10 Brennan: Are you—

0:28:11 Lou: I cannot survive another round like that.

0:28:13 Brennan: Okay, that is now going to be Lapin's turn.

0:28:21 Zac: Okay.

0:28:21 Lapin: Oh, fuck this. (chuckles)

0:28:25 Theobald: Rivalries aside, rivalries aside. Let's make sure no one dies.

0:28:29 Brennan: And in fact, I'm so sorry. Oh, this over here (places a house statue), let's get our last minis out.

0:28:37 Emily: Oooooh!

0:28:38 Murph: I'm so nervous.

0:28:39 Siobhan: The lads!

0:28:40 Brennan: Chancellor Lapin Cadbury.

0:28:42 Siobhan: Go lads. (cheers)

0:28:44 Ally: Careful, I was so nervous about this fight I dropped mine and it did break immediately.

0:28:48 Zac: Oh my God.

0:28:50 Brennan: And Sir Theobald Gumbar!

0:28:50 Murph: Yeah!

0:28:51 Lou: Oh, hot damn.

0:28:53 Ally: Oh, that's so sick.

0:28:54 Brennan: And then my favorite mini, Sprinkle! (cheers and squeals)

0:28:59 Siobhan: Oh, I would die for him.

0:28:59 Emily: A most vicious stead.

0:29:01 Theobald: Look alive, Sprinkle.

0:29:02 Sprinkle: (squeaking)

0:29:04 Lapin: (deflated) Oh, great. Oh, bother.

0:29:07 Brennan: Cool. Theo, you're in there, Sprinkle's in there as well.

0:29:11 Murph: I accidentally sat on Sprinkle, that's why I was so slow.

0:29:13 Brennan: (chuckles)

0:29:14 Zac: And I am in there.

0:29:16 Brennan: You're in the back of this? Yes. (air whooshes)

0:29:19 Zac: Okay. I think Lapin is trying to consult the Sugar-Plum Fairy quietly to himself. This is chaos. And then I think he's going to poke out the top, and cast Cure Wounds on Ruby.

0:29:51 Emily: Yes! (claps)

0:29:52 Brennan: Okay. You're gonna have to get up onto the roof to do that. ‘Cause it's a touch range spell.

0:29:56 Zac: Cool. Couldn't just like, crane out with my pole? (giggles)

0:30:00 Emily: I mean I'm up there, maybe my body, he could use my body like a ladder.

0:30:06 Siobhan: He's not allowed to touch you like that.

0:30:07 Emily: (laughs) Use my body like a ladder!

0:30:10 Zac: I don't think I can—

0:30:10 Brennan: You're not a spry old fellow. I'm gonna say, just give me a DC 5 Athletics check. But that does mean you need to roll a 6 or higher.

0:30:20 Zac: Athletics?

0:30:21 Brennan: Yes.

0:30:22 Zac: Okay, I have a minus one 1, 11.

0:30:26 Brennan: Cool.

0:30:26 Emily: Haaa!

0:30:27 Brennan: You manage to clamber up onto the roof, as you do so, you are able to cast Cure Wounds on Ruby. Go ahead and cast it.

0:30:36 Zac: Okay, Cure Wounds, what do I do?

0:30:38 Brennan: 2d8 plus Charisma modifier.

0:30:40 Zac: 2d8, cool. Wait, d8?

0:30:43 Brennan: That’s a d8 yeah, you picked it.

0:30:44 Zac: Oh, great, (unconvincingly) I know.

0:30:46 Ally: Aha!

0:30:47 Zac: I know.

0:30:47 Ally: We're all so flustered.

0:30:49 Zac: 7, 8!

0:30:51 Emily: Ooh!

0:30:51 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:30:52 Zac: 15, oh you're at full?

0:30:55 Emily: I look at Lapin and I say,

0:30:56 Jet: Thank you.

0:30:57 Lapin: (forcefully) Get out of here.

0:30:59 Brennan: (laughs)

0:31:00 Zac: And then I'm going to, because I am a warlock of the Celestial Patron, or the Sugar-Plum Fairy, quietly, I'm going to also use my bonus action to cast Healing Light and give the king a d6.

0:31:21 Murph: Nice.

0:31:21 Emily: Ooh!

0:31:22 Lou: Thank you.

0:31:23 Zac: So, that is basically all I can do.

0:31:26 Emily: C'mon 6, 6, 6.

0:31:30 Zac: 5. So you get 5.

0:31:30 Emily: That was a powerful round of healing.

0:31:32 Ally: Yeah.

0:31:33 Lapin: We are all going to die. (All laugh)

0:31:37 Brennan: Yeah, he was— Cadbury gets up there, and everything looks very Bulbian, it's all like glowing yellow light.

0:31:42 Zac: Oh, can I make a—

0:31:43 Brennan: Make a Deception check.

0:31:45 Zac: Deception check to try to make it, okay.

0:31:46 Brennan: Yeah, make a Deception check for me.

0:31:50 Zac: [laughs] I still got a 14.

0:31:53 Brennan: You guys see Bulbian light, but you two right next to Lapin smell sugar-plum.

0:31:56 Ruby: Ooh, it smells good.

0:32:00 Lapin: It is not— look, I know that you think you know something, but that is, there are a thousand bigger fish to fry.

0:32:10 Jet: Lapin, you just did exactly what I asked, you have my silence.

0:32:14 Lapin: (exasperated) Oh, god. Okay. (Brennan laughs)

0:32:17 Ruby: What happened?

0:32:19 Jet: You’re back!

0:32:20 Brennan: You wake up prone and you see that in fact, there's a little wisp of Sugar-Plum Energy as you feel the bolt break in your throat and pop out either side. (blows)

0:32:31 Ruby: Oh, bacon, licorice, pretty tasty together. (Ally and Brennan laugh)

0:32:34 Jet: I know, yeah.

0:32:35 Brennan: Before Theo goes, you hear a voice say,

0:32:38 Calroy: Stay inside!

0:32:39 Brennan: And Lord Cruller leaps out of the back of the wagon, says something to the Tartguard there, He… I might make a Perception check for him to see what he's able to notice. As this is happening, he sees Amethar. He looks over at you, draws his saber and says,

0:32:56 Calroy: Your majesty!

0:32:57 Brennan: And starts booking it after you. He's gonna go (counting tiles) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

0:33:06 Lou: (seeing Calroy’s mini) Oh, he did put on nice pants! (All laugh)

0:33:08 Ally: He did!

0:33:10 Siobhan: Calroy’s pants rule.

0:33:10 Ally: They’re striped.

0:33:11 Lou: He wore fantastic pants.

0:33:14 Brennan: He is going to get to here, which is a full 30 feet of movement. Take a bonus action dash,

0:33:20 Siobhan: Nice.

0:33:25 Brennan: Roll up here, take a swing. (upbeat music) You see he runs up and the captain barking orders. He goes,

0:33:39 Calroy: Aha!

0:33:40 Brennan: And slashes across his back, leaping into battle with you. Dope as hell. That is going to be Theo.

0:33:51 Ally: Theo!

0:33:54 Murph: Sweet… My God, everyone is in trouble. Okay. I am going… Okay, these archers are a problem but the King's over here, my God, this is the worst. I will… Okay. So she just popped back up, you’ll get an opportunity to move. Okay, I'm going to run in and attack this guy and join the King.

0:34:25 Brennan: Cool. So you're gonna go 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

0:34:32 Murph: Yup.

0:34:32 Brennan: Right here, cool. Great.

0:34:34 Murph: And then I will use Green Flame Blade, cantrip.

0:34:39 Brennan: Cool.

0:34:40 Murph: And then I am also going to use Sprinkle to do a help action and give me advantage on the attack.

0:34:44 Brennan: Cool.

0:34:45 Murph: Nat 20!

0:34:45 Ally: Nat 20! (cheers)

0:34:48 Emily: Two nat 20s on the first attack! (cheers)

0:34:51 Players: (chanting) Crit! Crit! Crit!

0:34:54 Lou: We need it.

0:34:54 Siobhan: Yep.

0:34:55 Ally: Yeah.

0:34:55 Murph: Okay. That's 13 damage. And then, green fire leaps from the target to a different creature of my choice that I can see within 5 feet. Second creature takes fire damage equal to my modifier. So my modifier’s plus 2 for spellcasting.

0:35:14 Brennan: Okay, so you're dealing 2 damage to one. How much damage did you do to the first one?

0:35:18 Murph: What did I say? 8, 13.

0:35:20 Brennan: Are you dealing the first damage to the guy on your right or left?

0:35:24 Murph: Have any of these guys taken damage?

0:35:26 Lou: They've all taken—

0:35:26 Brennan: They've all taken 2.

0:35:27 Murph: Okay, so I will just do it on, the one closest to me and then I'll get the guy next to him too. It's hard to see around these bushes.

0:35:34 Brennan: Okay, gotcha.

0:35:35 Ally: When you crit does that add extra to it?

0:35:37 Murph: I did roll an extra d8.

0:35:39 Ally: Oh, got it yeah. Cool.

0:35:40 Murph: I just used a longsword to—

0:35:41 Zac: That guy already got hit with two that you hit, right? Or was he, did he get hit by the splash, his aura?

0:35:48 Ally: Oh yeah, the 10.

0:35:49 Brennan: Yeah, everyone—

0:35:49 Zac: I think it's two, actually.

0:35:50 Brennan: Pretty much everyone here has, a lot of people here have been hit by the king's aura.

0:35:55 Murph: And then actually, why not? I think I'm gonna see if there's a bonus action I can do, but I think oh, and then here's what I'm gonna do, I'm going to... range 30 feet. Who's the toughest looking motherfucker?

0:36:09 Brennan: You see the Lord Cruller just came out and slashed a guy that looks like he's barking orders at these guys.

0:36:13 Murph: Sweet. I'm going to cast as a bonus, oh wait, this is, does this… So this is from my sword, I have an ability that lets me cast Compelled Duel bonus action?

0:36:22 Brennan: It is a bonus action.

0:36:23 Murph: Does that count as a spell or can I do it? ‘Cause I've already cast, oh wait, no I did.

0:36:29 Emily: You cast a cantrip.

0:36:30 Murph: Sweet. I'm gonna do Compelled Duel on that guy, try to get him to look at me.

0:36:32 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:36:34 Murph: And then I'm gonna do Action Surge.

0:36:37 Brennan: Hoo hoo hoo! (Emily cheers)

0:36:38 Murph: And I'm gonna keep wailing on the same guy.

0:36:39 Brennan: Sir Theobald!

0:36:41 Siobhan: Out the gate.

0:36:42 Emily: Surge Theobald.

0:36:43 Brennan: Okay we'll deal with Compelled- If you're taking the same attack, go ahead and give me the attack first.

0:36:47 Murph: Okay.

0:36:48 Brennan: So this is just a, this is not Green Flame this is just a regular, oh no—

0:36:51 Murph: I might as well yeah, I'll do it again.

0:36:53 Brennan: Yeah. Go for it, do it again. Yeah yeah yeah.

0:36:54 Murph: Basically get another turn. Does Sprinkle get to help me again or Sprinkle’s out?

0:36:57 Brennan: No, this is a straight attack.

0:36:59 Murph: Alright. 25

0:37:03 Brennan: You hit, my man.

0:37:04 Emily: (whooping)

0:37:04 Lou: That's my fucking knight, right there! That's my knight. (Brennan laughs)

0:37:10 Murph: 11 damage.

0:37:11 Brennan: To, are you doing to the guy—

0:37:13 Murph: Same guy I hit. And then 2 again to the guy next to him.

0:37:20 Brennan: To the guy next to him, gotcha. You rush over, hold on one second here, and then I'm gonna roll a saving throw for the marauder captain here.

0:37:31 Murph: Right on. Gotta beat a 12.

0:37:36 Brennan: He does have to beat a 12. What ability is that?

0:37:40 Murph: It's a Wisdom saving throw.

0:37:43 Brennan: It's a natural 1. (cheers)

0:37:46 Theobald: Duel me, 1v1 me. Have you no honor?

0:37:50 Brennan: You guys actually see— I'm gonna take a second to talk about this because Lapin hoists himself up onto the roof.

0:37:53 Lapin: Ah-ha!

0:37:56 Brennan: Raises Ruby, the sugar-plum magic breaks the arrow- So these are like your two guardians, the advisors to the king. Rush up, throw healing energy at the king, as Sir Theobald explodes from the wagon. This little sprinkle chasing behind like a loyal hound. You take Swirlwarden, the Suckershield in your left arm, Battlepop the Broadsicle in your right, it glows with freezing orange energy. As you leap forward, you rush up and in a flurry of strokes with your sword, you behead this cheese brigand here, this freezing orange light, singes the eyes of the ones standing next to you. And as you level your sword at the captain and say to him, "have you no honor?" He looks at you and you see his eyes go goofy orange and purple swirlies, (bubbles) and you see, he goes,

0:38:52 Brigand: (weird French accent) I do have honor.

0:38:55 Brennan: And levels his weapon at you. Compelled Duel is in effect.

0:39:02 Ally: Yes.

0:39:03 Brennan: Awesome.

0:39:04 Ruby: Are these guys cool? Have these guys been cool this whole time?

0:39:07 Liam: I like them. (laughs)

0:39:09 Jet: Yeah, I gotta be honest, like—

0:39:11 Lou: Theobald, how much damage did you do?

0:39:13 Murph: I think I did, I did like 13 or something on the first attack and like, or 15 on the first attack and like 11 or 12 on the second thing.

0:39:20 Lou: Okay, thanks.

0:39:20 Siobhan: Sick.

0:39:21 Brennan: Okay, awesome. Liam, that's gonna be your turn.

0:39:24 Ally: Okay. I would like to pick up Peppermint Preston, kiss him. We have a drill where he gets in a really small ball and I hide him. (Brennan laughs)

0:39:33 Ally: He gives me the help action and I'm going to pop out. And first, can I track my enemy? I feel like I'm really good at that. Can I see where the second guy is?

0:39:43 Brennan: You can give me a Perception check like Amethar did for free.

0:39:45 Ally: Would it be advantage?

0:39:47 Brennan: It would be advantage ‘cause these are your favored enemy.

0:39:49 Ally: 18, yeah.

0:39:50 Brennan: Oh, you spot everybody.

0:39:51 Ally: Yeah okay, cool. So where are they?

0:39:53 Brennan: All these dudes pop back up, hold on a second, seven and nine. Yeah, seven is right here.

0:40:01 Ally: Cool.

0:40:02 Brennan: And then nine is back down over here.

0:40:05 Ally: Okay, cool. So I'm gonna pop out and I'm gonna cast Hail of Thorns again and have my crossbow and try to hit, the same one that I hit before.

0:40:15 Brennan: Hell yeah, so that's gonna be number one, all the way down there, dope. Oh, go for it. Go ahead and roll attack. This one has advantage because Preston is getting you the help action.

0:40:24 Ally: Okay, cool. Okay, it's 23.

0:40:29 Brennan: Oh, awesome. You definitely hit. Go ahead and roll damage for the crossbow, just first.

0:40:33 Ally: Okay. Just the flat d10. so that's, 11.

0:40:38 Brennan: Okay.

0:40:38 Zac: You hit that twice, right?

0:40:40 Ally: Huh?

0:40:41 Zac: You hit that guy twice already, alright?

0:40:42 Ally: Yeah. This is my second time.

0:40:44 Brennan: And now they roll for Hail of Thorns, it's a Dex save I believe, right?

0:40:48 Ally: Yeah, Dex save.

0:40:51 Brennan: They both fail.

0:40:52 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:40:52 Murph: Hell yeah, Liam.

0:40:52 Lou: Hell yeah, Liam. Hell yeah.

0:40:53 Ally: So this is, we should, I roll the same d10 for both of them?

0:40:56 Brennan: Same d10 for both of them, that's right.

0:40:58 Ally: Ooh, 5.

0:41:00 Brennan: You guys see Liam, this like, scrawny little woods kid pop up, you come sideways out, you're holding your crossbow level to the ground for accuracy, but it's sideways to you ‘cause you're sideways and you nail this guy through the head, tearing his mask off. Stinking runny cheese oozes out of the hole you left with your mint arrow, dead. And, 5 damage to the guy next—

0:41:25 Ally: And then I still have my movement, right?

0:41:27 Brennan: That's correct.

0:41:28 Ally: Okay, I am going to, would I take an attack of opportunity if I ran from there into the tree that's down?

0:41:35 Brennan: No one's taking a ranged attack of opportunity on you. So you—

0:41:38 Ally: Okay, yeah, I'm gonna sprint and duck and be behind that.

0:41:41 Brennan: Cool, so you used 10 to sort of duck out and duck back and then it's five—

0:41:47 Ally: Oh, can I go out the front?

0:41:48 Brennan: Oh, yeah. So you can go that's 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 is your movement there.

0:41:52 Ally: Mmm...

0:41:56 Siobhan: Do you wanna be here?

0:41:56 Zac: Can you get closer to the king?

0:41:58 Ally: Yeah, I wanted to hide closer to the—

0:42:00 Brennan: Get closer to the king? So we can go—

0:42:02 Ally: No, not closer to the king, I'm trying to get behind that, on the other side of that fallen tree.

0:42:06 Brennan: Oh, gotcha.

0:42:07 Ally: Could I make that?

0:42:07 Brennan: Yeah, actually you know what? Give me just an Acrobatics check.

0:42:10 Ally: Sure.

0:42:11 Murph: Tuck and roll.

0:42:12 Ally: Acrobatics, oh yeah, plus 4. Oh, yeah. 23.

0:42:17 Brennan: Oh, baby. Yeah. You got full cover behind here as you leap behind this fallen tree.

0:42:21 Ally: Ok, cool. Awesome.

0:42:22 Brennan: Dope. That's now going to be, that's Liam, Jet, that's you.

0:42:27 Emily: Okay. I want to join the fray here. Can I go after this guy? Is that, am I close enough?

0:42:36 Brennan: Yeah, give me an Acrobatics check.

0:42:42 Emily: Okay. 16.

0:42:42 Brennan: Hell yeah. So you're gonna go, hold on.

0:42:46 Emily: So I'd like to jump up and attack this...

0:42:49 Brennan: Yes, you're gonna go--

0:42:50 Emily: Actually I can attack this guy cause--

0:42:51 Brennan: 5, 10, 15, 20 yeah, you can--

0:42:56 Emily: Actually I wanna go for this guy.

0:42:57 Brennan: If you land right in this spot over here. Let's get you right through here. You see your sister standing up,

0:43:07 Emily: I say,

0:43:07 Jet: Ruby, you got this. Ruby and Jet do air kisses to each other.

0:43:09 Brennan: (laughs) You do a full like swan somersault twirl in the air, bam! Land next to Sir Theobald, go ahead and—

0:43:17 Jet: Hey, Theobald.

0:43:19 Emily: I'm gonna use this superiority die, cause I'm Martial Adept and do a feinting attack on this guy. So I go, and then I get a advantage on attacking him.

0:43:28 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it.

0:43:29 Murph: Whoa, sick feint. (Ally chuckles)

0:43:32 Emily: Does a 23 hit?

0:43:33 Brennan: A 23 sure does hit.

0:43:35 Emily: Yes bitch, and I have sneak attack cause he's within 5 feet?

0:43:38 Brennan: You sure do.

0:43:39 Emily: Okay. 17!

0:43:46 Brennan: 17 points of damage?

0:43:48 Ally: That's crazy.

0:43:49 Murph: I'm about to admonish her until I see her just skewer the dude.

0:43:53 Ally: Yeah.

0:43:53 Theobald: Oh. Okay.

0:43:53 Ruby: Fuck him up!

0:43:55 Brennan: Yeah, you see this blade, (air whooshes). This is your first time injuring a living person. You feel the feeling of this sword (air whooshes) follow your willpower, you see where you want it to go, with a flick of your wrist and a steady stance, you bury this sword through the back and out the front of this brigand attempting to kill your father.

0:44:23 Emily: Is it a killing blow?

0:44:24 Brennan: It is not a killing blow.

0:44:26 Jet: Theobald I told you, you need me to teach me a killing blow!

0:44:28 Theobald: I'm sorry, that was really good.

0:44:30 Brennan: (laughs) How is Jet feeling this moment? The first time that she has ever attacked a—

0:44:37 Emily: She feels alive. She takes a little bit of the blood and goes, (slurps, sighs) (wipes blood across her face)

0:44:41 Theobald: Okay, good job Jet, but also—

0:44:43 Amethar: That’s my girl! (Brennan laughs)

0:44:45 Theobald: Alright, everyone relax!

0:44:47 Jet: (excited, out of breath) Pops! Pops!

0:44:48 Amethar: Yeah, I know!

0:44:51 Jet: It rules! This rules! I could do this like, all the time.

0:44:53 Theobald: To defend the kingdom, yes, for Candia everyone, defending ourselves.

0:44:57 Amethar: Murdering for Candia!

0:44:58 Theobald: No!

0:44:59 Jet: For Candia! Ruby!

0:45:02 Brennan: Okay, you see Limon rushes over here,

0:45:07 Limon: Sir, what should I do?

0:45:10 Theobald: Attack someone!

0:45:11 Limon: Which? Who? Which one?

0:45:14 Theobald: All right, why don't you just pull your shield out, stand by the cart and wait for Ruby to jump down and just kind of help her out.

0:45:21 Limon: You got it, sir.

0:45:23 Brennan: Rushes back to the cart. (Zac chuckles) Master Dippins crawls up into this tree and disappears.

0:45:30 Zac: There's a dude right here. Could he attack the guy that was, I mean, just—

0:45:34 Brennan: Theoretically he could. Yes.

0:45:35 Zac: Okay. Yeah.

0:45:38 Brennan: Cranberry is just sprinting into the woods.

0:45:41 Ally: Master Dippins is, who is that?

0:45:43 Lou: He's the fool.

0:45:44 Brennan: He's the fool.

0:45:45 Ally: Oh yeah, that's why it sounded familiar.

0:45:47 Brennan: And, he's just running, Cranberry Tallcake is running away.

0:45:54 Tallcake: I've had enough of this.

0:45:56 Brennan: That's going to be Princess Ruby.

0:45:59 Siobhan: Great. So I would like to yell to Limon.

0:46:06 Ruby: Hey, stand real strong.

0:46:08 Siobhan: And I'm gonna jump on to stand on his shoulders. (Emily laughs) so that I have—

0:46:13 Ally: Stand real strong.

0:46:15 Jet: That's right you foes, you're getting a free show, you don't even know!

0:46:19 Siobhan: So I have height and advantage on shooting,

0:46:22 Brennan: Okay.

0:46:23 Siobhan: And then I would like to, so this guy that seems like the boss guy that's giving everybody orders, I would like to shoot my once a day Grasping Arrow at him.

0:46:35 Brennan: Ooh, awesome. Okay. Hold on. (stacks the figurine of Ruby on top of Limon)

0:46:43 Lou: You're actually doing this?

0:46:44 Siobhan: Oh my God. I'm so graceful.

0:46:46 Lou: What a wild world we live in, dude.

0:46:47 Murph: Oh!

0:46:48 Emily: We could sell tickets to this!

0:46:48 Brennan: Incredible. You land, you have, for balance, you have one toe on his head and the other tucked up, so like your knee up to your waist. And you see Limon stands steady and says,

0:47:02 Limon: Well, I knew it wasn't gonna be too long before I got kicked in the head.

0:47:07 Brennan: And you see… Cool. Go ahead and make your attack.

0:47:13 Siobhan: And that's with advantage, right? Because I have—

0:47:15 Brennan: Yeah, you have height advantage.

0:47:19 Ally: Oh, it rolled so many times!

0:47:21 Emily: You might still though.

0:47:23 Siobhan: 14?

0:47:25 Brennan: 14 does not hit.

0:47:26 Siobhan: Fuck!

0:47:27 Jet: You look great though, so much more going on.

0:47:28 Siobhan: I'm still shaken from my—

0:47:30 Ally: From your death?

0:47:31 Siobhan: From my death. All right, and then, so I'd like to take the rest of my movement and stand on this side of the cart, so all of these archers can't hit me.

0:47:45 Brennan: Ooh, okay great.

0:47:46 Siobhan: ‘Cause these guys are focused on this stuff.

0:47:49 Brennan: Yes, yes, yes. You jump away from Limon, over to this side of the cart and he goes,

0:47:54 Limon: I'm happy to be of service, Your Highness.

0:47:56 Ruby: You stood very strong, thank you.

0:47:58 Limon: Okay.

0:47:59 Ruby: (to herself) Wobbled a bit. That's fine.

0:48:04 Brennan: Okay, that is Ruby. That is now going to be the rest of the Tartguard.

0:48:11 Lou: All right Tartguard.

0:48:12 Murph: All right everybody.

0:48:13 Brennan: This guy runs over here.

0:48:16 Jet: Theobald, do you train with them?

0:48:18 Theobald: You know, they're kind of newer recruits. I tried to train them. They really like tickling each other. (laughter) You try to not tickle, generally—

0:48:27 Lapin: They might just get us all killed. (Emily laughs)

0:48:29 Lou: Will try to not tickle.

0:48:32 Brennan: Ooh.

0:48:32 Jet: Did you teach them the killing blow?

0:48:35 Theobald: I did, but they just use it to get into really good tickle spots. (Emily chuckles)

0:48:41 Brennan: (dice clatter) Whoa! Okay.

0:48:44 Lou: Tartguard gonna fuck somebody up right now?

0:48:46 Brennan: They might! And then—

0:48:46 Lou: Ooh! Come through Tartguard, come through.

0:48:51 Brennan: Okay, yeah. You see this guy rushes over here and skewers this bandit and says,

0:48:56 Tartguard: Havarti! A sweet ending for you my friend, Po ta!

0:49:02 Zac: He kill it?

0:49:03 Brennan: No, he does not kill him, just deals some damage. which for the Tartguard is great. (all laugh) That's huge for them. Okay. That is the Tartguard, and that is now going to be, King Amethar.

0:49:20 Lou: Okay, so check in. The captain is compelled to duel and then there are three remaining who have eyes on me?

0:49:26 Brennan: There is one, two, three, four remaining that have eyes on you.

0:49:30 Lou: Where's the fourth?

0:49:31 Brennan: Tucked in under here. You've got three right over here, four here.

0:49:35 Lou: Hmm. Four, four, four, four.

0:49:37 Zac: Can you do your aura?

0:49:38 Ally: And you also have the cake guy.

0:49:40 Murph: We have one that me and Jet have messed up—

0:49:42 Lou: Have messed up real good.

0:49:44 Murph: You do a ton of damage, you might—

0:49:45 Lou: Yeah.

0:49:46 Emily: Yeah, it might be wasted.

0:49:47 Murph: Might just wanna hit a fresh dude.

0:49:51 Lou: I'm gonna… there's one you've done a ton of damage to?

0:49:56 Emily: The one that I—

0:49:58 Lou: That you like skewered through? I'm gonna try and hit him and see if I can kill him.

0:50:03 Emily: (gasps) Daddy-daughter bonding!

0:50:03 Zac: Does your aura go on every turn?

0:50:06 Lou: It's a bonus action. So I can choose-- if I hit and kill I'm gonna use my bonus action for Great Weapon Master. Yeah, just a little strap for it. Great. So I'll roll to attack whoever Jet, has put in work on, see if we can't daddy-daughter this guy.

0:50:23 Siobhan: Yes.

0:50:25 Lou: That's gonna be, 25.

0:50:29 Brennan: 25 is a hit for sure.

0:50:32 Lou: And he did damage to me ‘cause all of them hit right?

0:50:34 Brennan: Yeah, all of them hit.

0:50:35 Lou: So 3d6. Oh, come on guy (rolls and misses dice box twice), come on guy, there it is.

0:50:42 Zac: It's the same roll.

0:50:43 Lou: 7, 9 plus 8, 17.

0:50:50 Brennan: You turn around, you plunge the rapier in and literally feel your arm holding this guy still. And as he cannot move with your sword through him, you watch the entire top of his cheesy disguised head come off as you full back bend to watch Payday swoop right past you as your father cleaves this guy's fucking head off.

0:51:14 Emily: I pop up and I say,

0:51:14 Jet: That's a daddy-daughter special.

0:51:16 Amethar: That's a daddy-daughter special!

0:51:17 Jet: (holding out her sword, in shock) That was a daddy-daughter special.

0:51:18 Lou: And then I'll use Great Weapon Master to swing on-- Have any of the other ones been injured?

0:51:24 Brennan: Well, all of them have been part… I'm trying to think if any of them are super...

0:51:28 Lou: I don't think but they both, I'll swing for the one under the tree that I--

0:51:31 Brennan: Oh yeah, Calroy fucked up the guy behind you.

0:51:35 Lou: Then I'll save him, I'll go for, let me go for 12.

0:51:37 Brennan: Go for it.

0:51:38 Lou: I'll swing for 12. No, let me swing for four.

0:51:42 Brennan: Okay.

0:51:43 Lou: We'll go for four. Boom. Let's go 19.

0:51:49 Brennan: 19 is gonna hit.

0:51:50 Lou: Great, and that's 3d6?

0:51:52 Brennan: That is 3d6 again.

0:51:55 Lou: Let's go, oh come on guys. 6 plus 8, 14.

0:52:00 Brennan: 14 damage. That guy actually ran to join you, so he didn't get your aura the first round, so you turn around and, (attacking sounds) he has like a little like, what does he have a little poleax there? You hit the half of his poleax split the weapon and body him and feel a bone crack as you just knock him into the tree.

0:52:22 Siobhan: This cheese has bones!

0:52:23 Emily: (laughs) Oh, disgusting.

0:52:28 Brennan: (evil hand rub, speaking to the camera) There's bones in the cheese.

0:52:30 Ally: Eating cheese out of the bone at a barbecue.

0:52:32 Emily: I'm just picturing it, a bite of brie and in the middle, just like a wishbone.

0:52:37 Siobhan: Oh, crunchy.

0:52:38 Brennan: Okay, that is Amethar.

0:52:42 Ally: Yeah.

0:52:42 Brennan: Ooh! Okay.

0:52:46 Siobhan: Rules.

0:52:46 Lou: Hey dude, it's my family, it’s the fam right now dude.

0:52:48 Emily: (laughs)

0:52:50 Lou: It's a family affair.

0:52:52 Zac: I think Lapin has like, watched this guy be such an idiot for so long that he's like a little finally—

0:53:00 Ally: Finally some pride.

0:53:02 Lapin: (thinking to himself) Oh, okay. I see. I see what he's about.

0:53:07 Brennan: Incredible.

0:53:10 Lou: I forgot about these dudes. I forgot they can move. I thought they would just stay there, shit.

0:53:19 Brennan: Hold on, this is gonna be 10, 15.

0:53:21 Siobhan: Bitch.

0:53:22 Lou: Limon better get an opportunity attack.

0:53:25 Brennan: Oh yeah I’ll give Limon a little opportunity attack.

0:53:27 Lou: Come on Limon.

0:53:30 Brennan: Limon misses.

0:53:31 Lou: Damn it Limon.

0:53:32 Limon: Oh no, I failed.

0:53:36 Brennan: These guys are here going to both take a disengage. You hear this guy barking at the crossbow man, as he goes to fight Theobald but he's basically, you hear him go like,

0:53:46 Commander: (garbled, French-sounding noise)

0:53:56 Brennan: Speaks something in Carnish. You hear it's broken, bad Carnish: it's “kill the king”.

0:54:03 Jet: Dad, they're coming after you. Their objective is to kill the king.

0:54:07 Brennan: This guy's here.

0:54:07 Jet: These dairymen marauding as noble Carnish .

0:54:12 Brennan: Three, four, five, okay.

0:54:15 Jet: To kill the King you must first come through the princess.

0:54:16 Brennan: So we're gonna settle this. You've gotten three melee combatants on you still.

0:54:26 Zac: So they're gonna get sneak attack on their turn, right?

0:54:30 Brennan: This is their turn.

0:54:33 Lou: So these are the archers?

0:54:36 Brennan: Yes. Hold on real quick. So these are no, this is the melee we're gonna cover first. Okay. Two hits from melee. That's gonna be 11 halved to 5. Yeah, that's 11 halved to 5, and then 11 halved to 5 again. So 10 points of damage just from melee.

0:55:20 Lou: Great, 5 HP.

0:55:23 Brennan: I’m going to roll some Stealth checks real quick. Actually, you know what? No, cause they all took disengages or dashes to get within range. So let's go one, two, three, do one advantage. That's a miss even with advantage. Do three attacks from these guys. Oh, that's going to be two hits from them.

0:56:00 Zac: He's got 5 still?

0:56:01 Lou: I have 5.

0:56:02 Brennan: Yeah, it's gonna be two hits from them. And then this guy is attacking with advantage. It's a miss.

0:56:12 Ally: Wow.

0:56:13 Brennan: So two hits each of these.

0:56:16 Lou: Thank you Bulb.

0:56:19 Zac: Go down though.

0:56:21 Brennan: 12 plus two is 14, halved to 7.

0:56:23 Murph: I will use my bonus action Shield thing to take the damage for my king.

0:56:28 Brennan: You literally fucking secret service leap and take the arrow in the fucking chest. You take the full 14 minus 3 for heavier armor master.

0:56:40 Jet: Theobald, take me on as an apprentice. Show me your ways.

0:56:43 Theobald: (laughs) If we live.

0:56:44 Brennan: Also you and Sir Theobald are fighting back to back here, as you leap into the fray, the next one is still gonna come. So that's your reaction. The next one is coming for the King still, 9, 11, 13 halved to 6.

0:56:53 Murph: Fuck!

0:57:02 Lou: Jesus, man.

0:57:04 Brennan: King goes down?

0:57:05 Lou: King goes down.

0:57:08 Brennan: King is—

0:57:08 Lou: So close to—

0:57:10 Brennan: You see all of these people with melee weapons, raising their swords to coup-de-grace the king, to kill him on the ground. And then our captain is going to, disengage and he's gonna come straight for Murph. (rolling dice) 18-- miss, miss. (Murph sighs) Yeah, you feel your heavy armor (clanks) your shield whips up to catch the weapon. This spiked mace of this brigand leader, bang, bang, and that high ass armor class comes in very handy. As you miss both those attacks, that is them and then that's going to be Lapin.

0:58:13 Zac: Can I get to him the King in this turn? Can I jump down on Limon? And then— (Emily and Lou laugh)

0:58:22 Siobhan: I'm right below you so I could, like (holds her hands up as if to make a foothold)

0:58:24 Zac: Can I go… Whatever the clearest line is to the king, I'm going.

0:58:27 Brennan: Give me an Acrobatics check.

0:58:30 Siobhan: How's your Dex?

0:58:31 Zac: It's better than my Strength. So...

0:58:35 Brennan: Gotta beat a 10.

0:58:36 Zac: I did not.

0:58:37 Murph: Fuck.

0:58:38 Zac: All right, I got a 7. Can I just take damage and do that?

0:58:41 Brennan: Yes. That's what's gonna happen.

0:58:42 Zac: Okay.

0:58:43 Brennan: You take 6 points of falling damage. You're an old man leaping off of a wagon.

0:58:45 Zac: Fuck!

0:58:48 Lapin: Ow! (cast laughs)

0:58:51 Lou: You're an old man leaping off of a wagon. That is what you are.

0:58:55 Lapin: I hate this.

0:58:55 Ally: That's the episode title.

0:58:57 Lou: Old man leaping off a wagon.

0:58:59 Brennan: I hate this. Cool, but you leap down, you have 15 feet of movement left.

0:59:06 Zac: Can I get to him?

0:59:07 Brennan: You can. You can get all the way here to the king.

0:59:10 Zac: Okay, and I'm going to use a second level Cure Wounds on the king.

0:59:12 Emily: (claps) Ooh!

0:59:14 Brennan: That is your second and last spell.

0:59:16 Zac: My last spell. So that's it, except for, I have some other stuff for healing, but mostly that's it.

0:59:22 Jet: Lapin, your secret is so safe with me.

0:59:23 Zac: 5, 5 plus my Charisma modifier?

0:59:28 Brennan: Yes.

0:59:29 Zac: So you're healed for 14.

0:59:33 Brennan: You come back out, but you are out of rage for going unconscious.

0:59:36 Lou: Great.

0:59:38 Brennan: So the king is felled by an arrow. You don't even get all the way to the ground. You get to one knee and Lapin, sails through the air, puts this chocolatey hand on you and you are filled with a scent of sugarplum in your nostrils.

0:59:54 Zac: And should I heal him more?

0:59:59 Lou: I mean—

0:59:59 Zac: Fuck, it would be very—

1:00:01 Lou: I can rage again on my turn—

1:00:03 Zac: On his turn but they're not, okay, so you're gonna go before they go?

1:00:05 Emily: He’s so powerful.

1:00:07 Lou: Yeah.

1:00:08 Zac: But yeah, if he just, he absorbs all the damage.

1:00:09 Zac: I go before they go.

1:00:11 Siobhan: I would give him one of your d6’s.

1:00:14 Murph: How many do you get a day?

1:00:16 Zac: I'll do this and then I have two more heals total.

1:00:18 Murph: So that'll be, that's like, so if three people go down, one of those people is gonna die maybe.

1:00:24 Zac: Unless I can I Spare the Dying.

1:00:26 Murph: Okay.

1:00:26 Lou: Okay.

1:00:28 Ally: Can you use another spell?

1:00:29 Zac: No.

1:00:29 Siobhan: It's a cantrip.

1:00:33 Emily: I don't think it's a bad idea.

1:00:35 Lou: Do you have something else to give?

1:00:37 Zac: Wait what's the order again? So you're gonna go—

1:00:40 Lou: It's gonna go, after this comes. I think we get back to Liam, it's like Liam and then daughters and then the sweet tarts and then me and then them.

1:00:52 Zac: Okay. So I'm just gonna let, I'm just gonna save it.

1:00:58 Lou: Yeah, I'm with that.

1:01:01 Zac: And yeah, that's the end of my turn.

1:01:05 Brennan: That is the end of Lapin's turn.

1:01:07 Lou: Good strat, good strat dude, play smart, play smart.

1:01:11 Zac: (in Lapin’s voice) I don't know if it was smart.

1:01:13 Lou: I mean we've got, I've got Cruller, I've got these sweet Tartguards.

1:01:19 Brennan: You see that, hold on one second. I'm gonna roll here. Nat 20 from your boy Calroy! (cheers)

1:01:27 Lou: He's got his best pants on!

1:01:30 Brennan: Oh, you see that he… What, that's gonna be 6d6 from him.

1:01:33 Lou: What?

1:01:33 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

1:01:35 Emily: Whadup?

1:01:36 Brennan: It’s a nat 20 and he's within 5 feet of an ally.

1:01:38 Murph: Hell yeah, dude.

1:01:39 Brennan: He's a little swashbuckle-y fencer.

1:01:41 Emily: (gasps) He's a swashbuckler?

1:01:42 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:01:43 Emily: Word up.

1:01:43 Brennan: You see, he looks at you and says,

1:01:45 Calroy: Nothing but the finest for my majesty.

1:01:48 Amethar: (chuckles) Pants make the man!

1:01:50 Calroy: Getting a little tired in your old age, you need to take a breather?

1:01:53 Amethar: Oh, you shut the fuck up right now!

1:01:55 Brennan: And you see he goes up through the back of the skull, bam! hits this guy and knocks his helmet off and catches the helmet in his other hand and goes,

1:02:02 Calroy: Souvenir for our trouble.

1:02:04 Jet: I'll be your apprentice as well.

1:02:07 Calroy: Your Highness, it would be an honor.

1:02:07 Brennan: And bows.

1:02:11 Jet: The honor is mine.

1:02:13 Calroy: Remember if we win without class, we haven't really won at all. (spins the helmet)

1:02:16 Jet: Ooh, let me write that down. (frantically note-taking)

1:02:18 Brennan: (chuckles) That's gonna be Theo.

1:02:21 Murph: Sweet. (to Emily and Siobhan) Do you all roll with advantage on your attacks for any reason?

1:02:27 Emily: No, I have to use a superiority die to do that.

1:02:30 Siobhan: If we're attacking somebody who's next to somebody though we get sneak attack.

1:02:34 Murph: Okay.

1:02:35 Brennan: I'm gonna need a Concentration check for the damage you took for Compelled Duel.

1:02:39 Murph: Right. Nat 1.

1:02:41 Brennan: Compelled Duel is gone.

1:02:44 Murph: Great. My bad.

1:02:48 Lou: It did everything it needed to.

1:02:49 Murph: I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna hand Sprinkle off to Jet to give a help action to her. On her turn, she does more damage than me.

1:02:54 Sprinkle: (high pitched babbling)

1:02:59 Theobald: Sprinkle, help the princess.

1:03:01 Murph: And then I'm going to attack. Is anybody taking damage near me?

1:03:05 Brennan: I mean, pretty much everybody. You see this is you as... It's like there's like white and pink blood spilling all over the grass here, it's a bloodbath.

1:03:14 Murph: I'll just do, you know what? I'm gonna do Booming Blade this time. So they'll take a d8 of thunder damage if I hit them on top of whatever else I do.

1:03:22 Brennan: Oh, they only take it if they move. They don't take it automatically, I think.

1:03:24 Murph: Oh, never mind, okay I'll do Green Flame Blade in that case.

1:03:27 Brennan: Cool.

1:03:29 Murph: All right. 20.

1:03:31 Brennan: That's going to hit.

1:03:33 Murph: Okay. Fuck. 7 damage.

1:03:37 Brennan: Cool. This is just a dude right in front of you?

1:03:38 Murph: Yeah, and then 2 to the one next to him.

1:03:42 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:03:43 Murph: And then I'm gonna use a bonus action and Second Wind.

1:03:50 Zac: Oh, good.

1:03:51 Murph: Just to try to keep myself up a little bit.

1:03:56 Emily: You feeling that like—

1:03:57 Murph: Not great. I go back up for 5.

1:04:01 Brennan: Okay. So you're still injured. You've got the bolt sticking in, you can feel the plates of your armor, your gummy armor, still clicking on this bacon bolt. You guys are up in the mix now. Theo and Amethar, you guys fought plenty in the Ravening War. These guys are decked out with all kinds of Carnish weaponry. These are Carnish crossbows, Carnish axes and clubs and stuff, but you smell the stink of like, these are dairymen. These are like dairy soldiers. Something is amiss. Cool. That is going to be, that's Theo, you do your bonus action, great. Liam, that's you.

1:04:39 Ally: Okay. What's the deal with this guy who's running? Can I use my nature to figure out what—

1:04:45 Brennan: Nature, well you could use Insight.

1:04:46 Ally: Oh yeah.

1:04:47 Brennan: Cool.

1:04:48 Ally: Insight? 15.

1:04:53 Brennan: He's a terrified servant who's seen a massacre and he's running cause he thinks he's gonna get killed.

1:04:57 Ally: Okay. Yeah, I will between these three archers up here, who's hurt the most?

1:05:04 Brennan: Of the ones you can see.

1:05:06 Siobhan: Oh yeah, you hit number seven.

1:05:08 Brennan: All those archers that you see there, have been uninjured.

1:05:11 Siobhan: Oh, just kidding.

1:05:11 Ally: Oh, wow.

1:05:13 Zac: I think it's—

1:05:15 Murph: He can probably shoot the people—

1:05:16 Ally: Yeah, I'll shoot one of them.

1:05:19 Brennan: Okay.

1:05:21 Ally: I'll have Preston give me advantage.

1:05:23 Brennan: Cool, dope.

1:05:26 Ally: Okay. That's a 19.

1:05:28 Brennan: 19 is gonna hit. Let's put Preston over there with you, your little piggy is helping you.

1:05:31 Emily: So soft.

1:05:33 Ally: I'm gonna— let's see, if Preston helps me, maybe I'll put him in my little backpack.

1:05:39 Brennan: He like pokes his little head out his backpack and basically you see, he goes, (pig squeaking, puts up trotter) and gives you the wind readings. So you hit with that roll. Go ahead and roll damage.

1:05:52 Ally: Okay. See that's 9.

1:05:56 Brennan: Awesome. And I think you're out of spells, right?

1:06:00 Ally: Yeah.

1:06:00 Brennan: Yeah. So you fire off. Hit that one in the back, whips around. Go ahead and give me a Stealth check real quick.

1:06:07 Ally: Sure.

1:06:08 Brennan: See if this guy spots you.

1:06:10 Ally: 8.

1:06:13 Brennan: 8, okay. He spots you hidden over there.

1:06:15 Ally: Okay, I still have movement though, right?

1:06:18 Brennan: Yeah, you do.

1:06:18 Ally: Maybe I'll move to the other side of the tree.

1:06:21 Brennan: Oh, just like behind all the foliage? Cool. Yeah.

1:06:23 Ally: So he sees me in the night.

1:06:25 Brennan: Yeah and Preston follows you.

1:06:27 Ally: Cool.

1:06:28 Brennan: Cool, you go there and hide, that is Liam. Jet that's you. Sprinkle, gives you the help action. (Sprinkle speaking gibberish)

1:06:38 Emily: I want to, this is the man who's been barking the orders, right? He's right in front of me?

1:06:41 Brennan: Correct. Yeah, the guy who’s trying to kill Theo.

1:06:43 Emily: Okay. I want to look at him and as I look at him, roguish shadow flickers around me and I say,

1:06:49 Jet: When the king goes down, the princess rises. (Brennan laughs)

1:06:54 Zac: Don't you get advantage cause it's Sprinkle?

1:06:55 Emily: Yeah, I rolled with advantage. 19?

1:06:57 Brennan: 19 hits.

1:06:58 Emily: Yeah! All right. I'm also gonna do, what does he have in his hand?

1:07:02 Brennan: A spike— wooden, it's like a meat wood morning star.

1:07:05 Emily: I'm gonna do disarming attack.

1:07:08 Brennan: Ooh.

1:07:09 Emily: So he's going to have to make, I'm gonna add a superiority die, and then he's gonna have to make a DC 14 Strength saving throw or he drops his weapon.

1:07:18 Brennan: Okay.

1:07:19 Emily: So I hit him for 18.

1:07:23 Ally: Heey, wow!

1:07:23 Brennan: Jesus.

1:07:25 Emily: And I try to get that.

1:07:28 Brennan: Okay. Hold on one second. He's got to roll, he gets plus two to this roll, DC14. So he needs a 12 or higher. He rolls a 13. So he hangs onto it.

1:07:37 Emily: 13? But he has to roll 14.

1:07:39 Brennan: He rolled a 13 plus 2.

1:07:41 Emily: Oh, I see.

1:07:42 Brennan: So he, you (whooshing) Flickerish the Twizzling Blade moves out, you see he said he goes,

1:07:46 Opponent: (thick French accent) Le blade twizzler.

1:07:51 Jet: I'm sorry, come again.

1:07:52 Opponent: Le blade twizzler.

1:07:54 Jet: Ah, have you tangoed with this partner before?

1:07:58 Opponent: (unintelligible) Merde.

1:08:02 Brennan: And you see that, he whips around to go after your pop again.

1:08:06 Emily: What?

1:08:07 Brennan: But you slashed deep, you felt the tug of ripping tendons in his left arm.

1:08:12 Emily: If he turns around away from me, do I get an opportunity attack?

1:08:15 Brennan: You do only if he moves away from you.

1:08:16 Emily: Okay.

1:08:18 Brennan: Cool that is, that's Jet. That is going to be,

1:08:28 Ruby: Come help me!

1:08:29 Brennan: Yeah, actually Limon is gonna come over and give you the help action and that's going to be-- Ruby, that's you.

1:08:43 Limon: Your Highness, if there's anything I can do to help, you're awfully good in archery and such.

1:08:48 Ruby: I think you could be very helpful just staying still and not doing anything.

1:08:54 Siobhan: Can I… These archers are pretty bad, huh. Can I shoot at the one that Liam shot at?

1:09:11 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.

1:09:12 Siobhan: Great.

1:09:13 Brennan: By the way, just so you know, you don't have to apply your grasping shot until after you know you've hit.

1:09:19 Siobhan: Oh, okay. So I can, great. That's really good to know because that was a sad waste of a thing. (Ally chuckles) Oh, in which case then I'm gonna try and shoot the guy in front of,

1:09:29 Brennan: In front of Jet? Absolutely go for it.

1:09:33 Siobhan: And that is a 19. That is for sure hit. So like 19 plus 6 so--

1:09:37 Brennan: Incredible. You definitely hit.

1:09:38 Siobhan: So I will use my Grasping Arrow. So that is a 2d6 plus 4 from this. So that's 8 damage regular and then—

1:09:52 Brennan: 2d6 poison.

1:09:53 Siobhan: 2d6 poison damage, which is 4 poison damage.

1:09:58 Brennan: So you deal 12 points of damage.

1:10:00 Siobhan: So its speed is reduced by 10 feet and it takes another 2d6 slashing damage, the first time on each turn moves one foot or more without teleporting.

1:10:08 Emily: Oooh!

1:10:08 Brennan: Oh! You guys see you still have this weird foggy memory of what you saw when you were unconscious. You reach up the bow, put your finger to the string, the arrow appears and you call for a special arrow and you didn't even know you could do this before this fight. And you see that it—  bonds of syrupy sugar wrap around this acid green arrow and the arrow shoots out, hits this brigand captain in the back and strands of poison sugar web him to the ground and like stinging burning brambles.

1:10:44 Ruby: Yeah, you stay there.

1:10:45 Jet: Ruby, it seems that you are destined for more than just the circus. (Brennan chuckles)

1:10:49 Ruby: I don't know, I feel like that would be a pretty cool circus move.

1:10:51 Jet: You're right, I stand down, you are correct. Ruby rules.

1:10:56 Brennan: Incredible.

1:10:56 Ruby: Jet rules.

1:10:57 Brennan: That's your action, great. It's going to be the Tartguard. This guy's gonna move over here.

1:11:07 Ally: They're so cute. (chuckles)

1:11:10 Lapin: I hate them.

1:11:11 Ally: A little cowboy hat, they're really funny.

1:11:16 Brennan: This guy just stabbed this dude a bunch of times. He just keeps stabbing him, he hasn't gone down yet. Over here. Oh shit. It's nat 20. The Tartguard runs over there, fucks that guy up, and then are there any other Tartguard? Oh yes, this guy right here. This guy's toast. So this guy, he's going to run over here, jump in the mix and take a swing at this captain.

1:11:56 Lou: Well, if the Tartguard kills this dude, that would be wild.

1:11:59 Brennan: That's a natural 1. (All laugh)

1:12:02 Brennan: Tartguard does not get the job done.

1:12:03 Siobhan: Could've got a promotion.

1:12:05 Brennan: But the Tartguard is like,

1:12:07 Tartguard: Your fallen brothers shall be avenged ahead. (Emily laughs)

1:12:12 Brennan: Cool. That is King Amethar.

1:12:16 Lou: Okay. Oh man, this is a clusterfuck. God there's so many people. So this is an archer as well?

1:12:23 Brennan: Yes, that's correct.

1:12:25 Lou: Okay. Oh.

1:12:28 Zac: How close, how does that captain look?

1:12:31 Brennan: He looks messed up, the princesses have just fucked him up.

1:12:32 Emily: (smugly) Yeah. What up.

1:12:35 Lou: Yeah. Okay. I think I'm gonna… There's so much. Everyone's just gonna shoot me no matter where I go. I'm just gonna get shot. Can I move around him without inciting opportunity attacks, can I move around to here?

1:12:56 Brennan: You gotta show me the path you're taking, otherwise it'll trigger attacks.

1:13:00 Lou: So where was I?

1:13:00 Brennan: You are here, there's no one directly engaging you right where you are.

1:13:03 Lou: I'm trying to go one, two up against the tree, three, four, five.

1:13:09 Brennan: Okay, you can get to five, you will take a swing from one of them but not the other on the way there.

1:13:17 Lou: If I stay here is that--

1:13:18 Brennan: No, you'll still get the swing cause you're actually getting it from that guy as you move past this threatened area.

1:13:26 Lou: Cause I'd wanna rage, but if I do it there, I just hurt everyone.

1:13:30 Emily: I can take 2 damage.

1:13:30 Lou: All my friends.

1:13:33 Zac: I think they can take 2.

1:13:34 Jet: Pops, I can take 2 damage.

1:13:36 Zac: Better than you.

1:13:36 Jet: Please, I'd rather my first damage in battle be from my father.

1:13:39 Lou: Great, then I'll do, then I'll stay where I was and rage there and everyone including friends takes 2 damage.

1:13:48 Brennan: And what spot are you moving to?

1:13:50 Lou: I'll move just one to engage with him.

1:13:54 Brennan: Okay. Everybody's taken damage so yeah. Theobald, Jet--

1:14:02 Zac: Do I?

1:14:03 Brennan: Sprinkle avoids it thankfully. And Lapin, you take it as well.

1:14:05 Zac: Okay.

1:14:07 Amethar: Sorry everybody!

1:14:09 Theobald: It is an honor, my king. (Emily laughs)

1:14:14 Brennan: And then we have, if this is 12 and this dude is four. Gotcha. Okay.

1:14:21 Lou: Were either one of these guys, the ones who hit me? I got hit by two people on the--

1:14:25 Brennan: You got hit by arrows. So nobody that hit with an arrow is--

1:14:29 Lou: But none of the melee people hit me.

1:14:30 Brennan: No, that's correct. Or wait, is that true? I'm trying to remember. Did the melee people hit you?

1:14:37 Lou: I erased it. I got hit by two arrows and then that's what I remember.

1:14:41 Murph: You got hit by some melee people I thought, cause I remember waiting--

1:14:44 Zac: Cause you took, it was 11 minus 5.

1:14:46 Lou: I did took two hits from the melee people.

1:14:48 Brennan: Yeah. If you took two hits, I'm gonna say that the one in front of you was a melee.

1:14:50 Lou: Great, then I'll swing on him. That's gonna be 10.

1:14:55 Brennan: 10 is gonna miss.

1:14:57 Lou: All right.

1:14:58 Brennan: You take a swing with Payment Say, miss, but you are raging. That's going to go from Amethar back to the brigands. Oh, hold on one second. Yeah. So this guy is going to move here, doesn't get an attack opportunity from anyone except Sprinkle. (Murph and Emily laugh) And then—

1:15:33 Emily: Sprinkle.

1:15:33 Murph: Can Sprinkle attack?

1:15:34 Siobhan: Sprinkle can not attack.

1:15:37 Brennan: There's five archers--

1:15:39 Zac: Can they all see him?

1:15:39 Brennan: And then the captain. So the first thing we're gonna do is we'll go captain, it's gonna roll on Amethar.

1:15:47 Siobhan: Is he moving? One foot of movement is not very much movement. If he's moving this much.

1:15:53 Brennan: Oh, wait a minute, he has Grasping Arrow. Yes, that's correct. Wait, how much is--

1:15:57 Siobhan: It's one foot of movement and he gets 2d6 of damage.

1:16:01 Brennan: Oh my God. Yeah, why would he know how this fucking spell works?

1:16:03 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:16:04 Brennan: Hold on one second.

1:16:06 Lou: (as Amethar) That's my girl.

1:16:08 Brennan: Okay, I'm going to tell you right now, it is very possible to roll a lethal amount of damage with 2d6. We're gonna get out the Box of Doom.

1:16:18 Ally: (laughs) And this is for the boss?

1:16:20 Jet: Ruby, I know you've got a killing blow in you, even though Theobald…

1:16:23 Ruby: Bless me. (touches hands with Jet)

1:16:25 Jet: Even though Theobald won't teach it to us.

1:16:27 Lou: Wow! This is crazy.

1:16:29 Brennan: Real quick, I've written down the number right here in this folded thing, of how much you need. Go ahead and hold on to this Siobhan, real quick.

1:16:36 Siobhan: Oh my God, I love gambling!

1:16:39 Brennan: Let's go ahead and get the Box of Doom out. This is a definite Box of Doom roll cause your dad is in very serious trouble if this guy gets to swing on him.

1:16:44 Siobhan: 9.

1:16:49 Brennan: Open it up. How much is it?

1:16:52 Siobhan: 7! (All cheering)

1:16:55 Ally: Fuck yeah!

1:16:57 Siobhan: Give me my dice.

1:16:58 Emily: Killing blow!

1:16:59 Brennan: You see that this guy sees an opening as Amethar swings, misses, overextends. He opens up the spot right under his arm where it's soft. You can go in through the ribs, he steps forward and as he does the arrow’s sugar constricts and snaps back and he is literally waffled and split into cubes and chunks and falls scattered over the ground in a heap of stinking cheese.

1:17:26 Ruby: Thank you for the Saints’ Day present, pops!

1:17:28 Amethar: All right, thank you. (laughs) Hah! I love my daughters.

1:17:34 Jet: Ruby, will you teach me a killing blow because that was amazing!

1:17:38 Ruby: I think that we can learn it together.

1:17:39 Jet: Okay.

1:17:40 Brennan: This captain gave one plus 1d4 on all attacks for all of his followers. (Siobhan and Emily cheer)

1:17:46 Brennan: So you have just really fucking done it. Ah, that is huge. We're gonna roll this now though here.

1:17:55 Murph: The two melee guys, are they going after Amethar?

1:17:58 Brennan: They're going after Amethar.

1:17:59 Murph: I'm gonna use Protection to impose disadvantage on one of them.

1:18:04 Brennan: Hell yeah, great. Oh, does Protection give… Does it give disadvantage to just one opponent or is it—

1:18:10 Murph: Let me see, when a creature you can see attacks a target other than you that is within five feet of you, you can use your reaction to impose a disadvantage on the attack roll.

1:18:16 Brennan: Okay.

1:18:17 Murph: So just do it for one person.

1:18:18 Brennan: The first one gets disadvantage. That's a 19 and a 2. Hell yeah.

1:18:24 Siobhan: Shit yes.

1:18:25 Lou: God, I love my family. (All laugh)

1:18:27 Brennan: Next one's going to take a regular swing, that is gonna hit. 12, 17 plus two is 19. 19 halved to 9 points of damage.

1:18:43 Lou: All right, 9. Great.

1:18:45 Zac: You at 5?

1:18:46 Lou: I'm at 5.

1:18:47 Brennan: Now I'm gonna roll some Stealth checks from these archers.

1:18:51 Lou: Even though there're Tartguards looking right at them?

1:18:53 Brennan: They're not trying to hide from the Tartguards.

1:18:55 Lou: All right, fine. (Emily laughs)

1:18:59 Lou: What's the point of these Tartguards?

1:19:01 Brennan: None of them hide from Amethar.

1:19:04 Emily: Yeah. Can’t hide from the king.

1:19:04 Brennan: None of those ones this one over here is gonna do it. That one doesn't make it. Jesus, these are some bad rolls. That one does get advantage. So we're gonna roll these attack rolls, attacking King Amethar. That's a miss. Hit. That's a hit. And then we're gonna go one last one here. That's a hit. So that's three hits on King Amethar.

1:19:37 Murph: Used my reaction, I can't do anything.

1:19:40 Brennan: 12 plus 2's 14, halve to 7.

1:19:44 Lou: I'm down.

1:19:45 Brennan: You are down and the final two arrows give you 2 death savings throws failures.

1:19:49 Emily: What?

1:19:50 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:19:50 Emily: Okay.

1:19:51 Ally: Wait, were you… Didn't you have 10 left? And that was 7.

1:19:53 Lou: I had 15, and then I took one hit for 9.

1:19:58 Ally: Oh, gotcha. Yeah.

1:19:59 Siobhan: Do you go-- You go next though right?

1:20:02 Lou: I'm at-- No, I've already gone.

1:20:03 Emily: He's already gone.

1:20:04 Siobhan: No, Lapin.

1:20:07 Brennan: You have two-- that’s two immediate-- as the arrows thank your falling body, the King falls again. Your father is riddled with arrows.

1:20:15 Emily: Can I use a reaction to put something from my body onto his?

1:20:20 Brennan: Nope.

1:20:22 Emily: Okay.

1:20:23 Zac: I never gave him that healing dice right?

1:20:25 Siobhan: No, you still have three left.

1:20:28 Brennan: By the way, just so you know, you can, it's not necessarily advisable, but you can do more than one dice at a time.

1:20:33 Zac: I understand. Yeah.

1:20:37 Brennan: And that is all of the Brigands. Okay. Lapin, that's gonna be you.

1:20:45 Zac: From here, Lapin is going to, bonus action give, he's gonna well, let me right, well, a Deception roll.

1:20:54 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:20:56 Zac: 8 plus 8 is 16.

1:20:59 Lapin: For Bulbia! (All laugh)

1:21:02 Theobald: No one cares right now, Lapin! Zac rolls his die, and it leaps out of his die box and across the table a bit.

1:21:05 Zac: 5.

1:21:07 Lou: That roll was unreal.

1:21:10 Brennan: 5. All right Amethar, you have been dropped a couple of times.

1:21:14 Amethar: (roars)

1:21:16 Zac: And what did, where is the most injured-looking archer?

1:21:19 Brennan: The most injured looking archer. This guy's gotten stabbed so many fucking times by this dude. This dude is fully uninjured. These guys over here are very, some of them are very injured. Some of them are not injured at all. This cluster of three of them.

1:21:36 Zac: Okay. I'll just roll for damage I guess. I'll just roll to see if I hit one.

1:21:42 Brennan: Cool. Or which one are you talking about?

1:21:45 Zac: This one's very injured and then one over here. One is also very—

1:21:49 Brennan: Yeah, is that... number two's uninjured. 10 is a little injured. This guy back here, number seven is quite injured.

1:21:56 Zac: Okay. I'm gonna go for the quite injured guy back there.

1:21:59 Brennan: Awesome. Go for it.

1:22:00 Zac: Lapin also continues to pretend this is for Bulbia. It's like,

1:22:04 Lapin: And for Bulbia! (Emily laughs)

1:22:09 Zac: Uh, 19.

1:22:09 Brennan: That's a hit.

1:22:10 Ally: Yeah.

1:22:11 Zac: So I'm using Agonizing Blast.

1:22:14 Emily: Yeah.

1:22:15 Zac: That's a d10.

1:22:16 Brennan: Yeah, d10.

1:22:17 Emily: That sounds like a real spiritual, Bulbian...

1:22:20 Zac: 10 plus 4, so 14.

1:22:23 Lapin: (shakily) For Bulbia. (Zac laughs)

1:22:26 Brennan: Lapin stands and goes, "for Bulbia." And a screaming helix of purple sugarplum energy blasts out of his open hand. A point of blinding light appearing in his palm, and a strange spiky candy rune appearing at the base of his hand for a moment.

1:22:42 Jet: I may not have to keep your secret much longer.

1:22:45 Lapin: Yes, we can all agree that this was very holy indeed. (All laugh)

1:22:51 Brennan: That guy has his fucking innards liquefied. He vomits glittering purple syrup everywhere, and his eyes melt out of his head as his body just collapses into syrup. He's dead.

1:23:04 Lapin: We all agree. (All laugh)

1:23:07 Lapin: For Bulbia.

1:23:09 Ally: The great Bulb in the sky, amen.

1:23:12 Brennan: Amen.

1:23:12 Zac: I'm only giving you the 5, just because, you know.

1:23:15 Lou: I mean, yeah I'd rather be continued to be made alive, especially yeah.

1:23:20 Emily: Yeah.

1:23:21 Lou: I see you.

1:23:22 Zac: And then can I move?

1:23:27 Brennan: Yes. I believe you can.

1:23:32 Zac: I will move, can I just, well, if I moved in front of the King, how does that like factor into the assassins? Like they'll probably still be able to see you.

1:23:42 Brennan: They probably still be able to see him, yeah.

1:23:44 Zac: Yeah.

1:23:45 Lou: I'll move before they do, I'll move smarter.

1:23:49 Zac: I'll move, yeah I'll move over… Lapin will move, just here to get more of a line of sight on those guys.

1:23:59 Brennan: Cool. Great. Lapin moves back next to the other archer. That's going to… you see Lord Cruller who you see, he says,

1:24:07 Calroy: (dancing back and forth) Nice thing about these pants is they're good in terms of flexibility.

1:24:10 Brennan: He takes a movement and a dash, so sprints a full like 60 feet over to this dude. Gets Sneak Attack because—

1:24:18 Lou: I fucking love Lord Cruller, dude.

1:24:19 Siobhan: He rules.

1:24:20 Emily: I must apprentice with him.

1:24:22 Lou: This is why I tell you, you watch a guy shit a couple times, you are friends for life.

1:24:28 Brennan: You see that he does this twee little pirouette and then like jeté- little dance moves- aha!- comes over and just like, crashes the crossbow out of this guy's hand and skewers him straight through the stomach, and then just does this weird corkscrewing twist and you see the guy slam to the ground, as his innards are just scrambled by the sneak attack. He's not joking anymore. He's watched you fall twice and you see, he says,

1:24:54 Calroy: Tartguard, disarm them, do whatever you can. They've come to kill the king!

1:24:58 Brennan: Knowing that you've killed many of them, but you know, not to belabor the point, had one other arrow struck Amethar, he would've been dead, full dead.

1:25:10 Zac: If one other, because—

1:25:11 Lou: It would've counted as a third failure.

1:25:14 Brennan: Melee weapons count as two death save failures, range weapons when they hit and unconscious person count for one death safe failure.

1:25:20 Zac: Gotcha.

1:25:21 Lou: So we just got lucky today.

1:25:22 Brennan: Yeah.

1:25:23 Lou: Goddamn! Murph.

1:25:25 Brennan: Yeah, that's going to be Murph.

1:25:27 Emily: Sir Theobald.

1:25:28 Brennan: Sir Theobald.

1:25:29 Emily: Surge Theobald.

1:25:30 Murph: (chuckles) All right, I'm going to, you know what? I'll crack at some of the melee guys around us so they don't (whispering) knock the king out while he's down. Please. 15?

1:25:46 Brennan: 15 hits. (All cheer)

1:25:49 Lou: A moment of silence.

1:25:51 Ally: It did the same thing.

1:25:52 Brennan: Are you hitting the guy right in front of you?

1:25:54 Murph: Whichever, whoever looks more hurt.

1:25:56 Brennan: Okay.

1:25:58 Murph: That I don't have to move while hitting.

1:26:00 Brennan: Dude to your, they look pretty equally hurt.

1:26:02 Murph: Okay. I'll just do it to 12.

1:26:04 Brennan: Okay.

1:26:04 Murph: And I do 12 damage to 12.

1:26:06 Lou: 12 to 12.

1:26:07 Zac: Are you using Green Flame Blade?

1:26:08 Murph: And I'm using Green Flame Blades.

1:26:09 Brennan: Or actually, give me, they're not exactly, give me a Medicine check where I would call a DC10 Medicine check.

1:26:14 Murph: A Nat 18.

1:26:16 Brennan: Dude on the left is slightly more hurt.

1:26:18 Murph: Sweet I'll go out to dude on the left. I do Green Flame Blade and I do 12 damage to him and I do 2 to the guy next to him.

1:26:26 Brennan: You reach out with the Battlepop and you cleave, just, whoa! And the Battlepop comes down and there's a splash of cheese all over you as you just cleave through the chest of this guy right next to you, as fire spreads to the guy next to you. (attacking grunts)

1:26:34 Murph: Hell yeah.

1:26:43 Brennan: That's going to move, so that's Sir Theobald. That's your action. Any other movement or you're all good?

1:26:51 Murph: I am good, I'm near the king. Yeah, I'm good.

1:26:54 Brennan: Okay. That is Sir Theobald, Liam, that's you baby.

1:27:00 Ally: Okay. I'm gonna run around the other side of the tree and into the cart if I can make it, so that I can maybe shoot those guys from inside the cart. They're so close to it. Could I do something like that?

1:27:11 Brennan: Oh yeah, absolutely. Just give me a Acrobatics check.

1:27:14 Ally: Sure.

1:27:15 Murph: Let me get my stuff out of here.

1:27:18 Ally: Oh, okay. That's a 7.

1:27:21 Brennan: You cannot get through the cart, so you've got to just do your standard movement one way or the other around it. You can either go in plain sight at everybody or you can go and sneak try to sneak over back.

1:27:29 Ally: I'll kind of sneak by on the other side of the tree if that's cool. That's just like 15 feet of movement

1:27:34 Brennan: Cool.

1:27:36 Ally: Behind it, yeah. Nice. Kinda like behind the branch.

1:27:38 Brennan: I can dig that, awesome.

1:27:40 Ally: Yeah, And I'm gonna.. Preston's gonna smooch me with his little wet snout, and I'm gonna have advantage hitting, which one of those guys--

1:27:49 Brennan: This guy's fucked up.

1:27:50 Ally: That guy is fucked up? Okay. Oh yeah. That's like 26, 25.

1:27:54 Brennan: Oh yeah, go ahead and roll damage.

1:27:56 Ally: Okay. So this is a d10 plus 6, 5, 11.

1:28:01 Brennan: 11, awesome. Another crossbow bolt, badly injured that guy. (thwack)

1:28:08 Ally: And then I'm gonna run back to the other side of the tree.

1:28:10 Brennan: (laughs) Just a little sniper jumping out, a little hunter move, cool. You go back around the side of the tree?

1:28:15 Ally: Would it be an action for me to take, to have like one of my hatchets and be like trying to chop this tree down?

1:28:21 Brennan: Yeah, for sure. That's Liam, Jet that's you.

1:28:25 Emily: Okay, I would like to, is there a combatant across from my dad?

1:28:30 Lou: Oh, that's right, on the other side of that tree?

1:28:32 Zac: Or they’re dead I think.

1:28:33 Emily: Are there any active combatants around my dad?

1:28:37 Brennan: Oh yes. This guy right here, he's got a bead on your dad.  So there's this dude right here who's crouching.

1:28:42 Emily: Okay, then you know what? So I'm not gonna use my movement just yet. I'm going to attack this person.

1:28:48 Brennan: Okay.

1:28:48 Emily: With Sprinkle's help, noble Steed.

1:28:52 Siobhan: Nice.

1:28:52 Emily: Two 19’s baby, okay.

1:28:57 Brennan: And you do get Sneak Attack on this.

1:29:00 Emily: So that's just gonna be a 11. And then I'm gonna run over to my dad, and put my Locket of the Sweetest around his neck.

1:29:10 Brennan: And put your Locket of the Sweetest around his neck.

1:29:14 Emily: And I'm gonna look at Ruby and just in case, in twin language, I'm like,

1:29:18 Jet: Just in case we can get dad that advantage.

1:29:21 Amethar: This is very sweet. This is not the time to be exchanging jewelry. Stop throwing gems at people, all right?

1:29:26 Lapin: (scolding) Now is not the time to put a necklace—

1:29:30 Brennan: I'm gonna say I'm gonna allow it for this battle, in the future, the lockets work because they are attuned to you so you can't give it to anybody. I'll say you can give it to your pop cause he's your sweet Papa.

1:29:40 Emily: Okay.

1:29:41 Brennan: But in the future they are, it takes a while to attune to a magical item and have them work like this.

1:29:46 Emily: Okay. But It'll work on my dad for now.

1:29:48 Brennan: It'll work on your daddy for right now. However, I'll tell you what will not work, is the attack of opportunity that that brigand—

1:29:55 Emily: Bring it on.

1:29:57 Zac: Is that guy still alive?

1:30:00 Emily: Does he hit?

1:30:00 Brennan: He does hit.

1:30:00 Emily: Shield. (Brennan laughs incredulously)

1:30:03 Emily: I get once a day shield with my Flickerish Blade!

1:30:04 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:30:06 Brennan: He would have dropped you with 12 points of damage. (Emily laughs) Oh wait, hold on, shield gives you plus 5, right?

1:30:12 Emily: Plus 5.

1:30:13 Brennan: This guy rolled a natural 18 plus four means he rolled a 22. Is it 22, what does your armor class go to when you cast Shield?

1:30:22 Emily: 21.

1:30:23 Ally: Nooo!

1:30:24 Murph: Can I use Protection to give them disadvantage?

1:30:28 Brennan: You still have your, you still have—

1:30:29 Murph: I still have my reaction because I just went again.

1:30:30 Brennan: Okay. He's going to roll again, if he, okay. This feels Box of Doom now because he, if he rolls a 17 or higher, he still hits a 21.

1:30:40 Ally: Yeah.

1:30:40 Lou: I can just imagine it now, the intense music starts playing.

1:30:40 Emily: Okay. Shield, protection. My locket around my dad's neck.

1:30:48 Brennan: It's a natural 5.

1:30:49 Emily: (laughs triumphantly)

1:30:50 Ally: Yes!

1:30:52 Brennan: You've been killing it with your blade. You turn around to to cast that you're like, oh, and start to do this defensive thing and you see that this guy just overpowers through it. You see your blade bend and this lollipop shield just comes in the way and blocks the blow as Theo steps in front of you.

1:31:08 Jet: You know, perhaps I should also learn a defensive blow.

1:31:11 Theobald: Yes. That would be dope.

1:31:12 Brennan: (laughs) Incredible. That's going to be, that's Jet. So you rush over to your father, give him the Locket of the Sweetest Heart. (takes a deep breath) (epic music)

1:31:31 Lou: What are you doing? What are you doing, my guy?

1:31:33 Siobhan: No, no, no, no, no. Put that box away Brennan. Come on now.

1:31:37 Lou: What are you doing?

1:31:38 Emily: This is not a time to take out your lunch. Brennan takes two minis out of the box and begins to place them.

1:31:40 Lou: I actually am not feeling good about this right now.

1:31:44 Brennan: You hear, (shouts) and—

1:31:49 Lou: These are our friends.

1:31:50 Emily: These are on our side, right?

1:31:51 Lou: These are Imperial.

1:31:52 Zac: Are they our friends?

1:31:53 Lou: Yeah, they're—

1:31:54 Zac: We'll see.

1:31:56 Lou: That's the seal I think, from the—

1:31:58 Zac: But doesn't mean anything, we're in "Game of Thrones", that doesn't mean shit.

1:32:03 Ally: But what is this guy's deal? (All laugh)

1:32:07 Brennan: You see him calling out and be like, "Sirs, Sirs, we're in trouble!" And you hear a battle cry, and see a small squadron of Ceresian infantry, led by this guy at the front.

1:32:19 Zac: Can I do a Perception check or a Insight check on—

1:32:20 Brennan: Give me an Insight check.

1:32:21 Ally: Can I do the same?

1:32:22 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:32:23 Brennan: Yes you may.

1:32:26 Murph: I got to 21.

1:32:28 Zac: 18.

1:32:29 Brennan: You look at the front, the guy at the front is this young guy. He is a Centurion commander of Ceresian, but of the Imperial army. And you see his rushes as he looks at you, he makes eye contact. You see, he just gives you a quick nod, immediately clocks the marauders here and goes, (screams) screams and lowers his weapon as they begin to charge.

1:32:51 Murph: Okay.

1:32:52 Emily: Ooh! That's so good, that's such a relief.

1:32:55 Brennan: That is going to be—

1:32:57 Emily: Never thought I'd be so relieved to see bread.

1:32:59 Brennan: (laughs) Ruby, that's you.

1:33:01 Siobhan: Okay, sorry Pops, this is gonna annoy you, but I've got to protect you. I'm gonna cast Fog Cloud in the area that all of these guys are in. It's a 20 foot radius. So basically, if you don't have line of sight, you can't hit him. You know, like there, it will fully hide him, it's a 20 foot radius sphere of fog centered on a point within the range of sphere, spreads around (mumbles).

1:33:29 Emily: So does it give the archers disadvantage?

1:33:31 Siobhan: Yeah, basically it's… The area is heavily obscured. So nobody can take an attack of opportunity against anybody in that area, because that requires sight and also archers can't get them.

1:33:47 Ally: That's great.

1:33:49 Brennan: You fill this place with sparkling candy mist.

1:33:55 Siobhan: I say,

1:33:55 Ruby: Abracadabra!

1:33:56 Siobhan: Cause I learned this at the circus, so. (laughs)

1:33:59 Jet: She's just putting on such an amazing show. Your foes, they are not worthy of this.

1:34:03 Ruby: Thank you.

1:34:06 Brennan: Give me an Insight check if you'd be so kind.

1:34:09 Siobhan: Oh no, I don't have great Insight. 12?

1:34:14 Brennan: Okay, great. Cool. That's going to be, that's Ruby.

1:34:18 Lou: Cool. Cool?

1:34:22 Ally: That's a bad sign.

1:34:24 Siobhan: Oh no. Can I actually step into the fog?

1:34:30 Brennan: You can if you'd like. Sure.

1:34:34 Siobhan: I'll stay out of the fog. (chuckles)

1:34:36 Brennan: Okay.

1:34:37 Lou: What are you doing right now my guy?

1:34:40 Siobhan: I don’t trust you. What are you doing? What have I done?

1:34:44 Brennan: You see it is now, so that's Ruby's turn it is now, and it's a 20 foot radius, correct?

1:34:53 Siobhan: 20 foot radius.

1:34:53 Brennan: Gotcha. Okay. Copy that.

1:34:55 Siobhan: Did I just make a huge mistake?

1:34:57 Murph: I don't know why it would be--

1:34:58 Siobhan: It seemed like a good idea!

1:35:00 Murph: I think regardless--

1:35:02 Brennan: Honestly, 40 feet if you put, if you centered it on your dad, almost would hit you.

1:35:07 Siobhan: Okay.

1:35:07 Brennan: That rises up into the air, Tartguard gonna rush to their king. This guy's gonna rush all the way over here. This guy's gonna rush over here next to Sir Theo. That is a hit. Reaches out with his spear, stabs that guy in front of you, he's not down though. This guy is gonna rush over here.

1:35:38 Zac: This is fucked.

1:35:39 Murph: There's a hurt archer right?

1:35:41 Brennan: Mm hmm.

1:35:42 Murph: Get them.

1:35:44 Brennan: That is going to be a miss. You see a Tartguard starts rushing around. That's now going to be… that is King Amethar.

1:36:03 Lou: Can I make an Insight check as to the nature of these gentlemen?

1:36:09 Brennan: Not anymore.

1:36:10 Lou: I can't see them?

1:36:11 Brennan: Yeah.

1:36:11 Lou: Okay.

1:36:13 Zac: Let's get the fuck out of here.

1:36:14 Lou: I'm gonna move toward Lapin and if I wanted to move out of the fog, or like to the edge of the fog, where would that be?

1:36:26 Brennan: You're like kind of in the center of it.

1:36:27 Zac: This guy’s in the fog, right?

1:36:28 Brennan: So it's really like any direction. Yeah, that guy’s in the fog.

1:36:30 Lou: Can he see us or just nobody--

1:36:32 Brennan: No he can't see anything.

1:36:33 Lou: Great.

1:36:34 Siobhan: We also can't see anything, to be clear.

1:36:38 Lou: We also can't, so I'm gonna move past Jet 5, 10, and to stand next to Lapin.

1:36:47 Brennan: Cool.

1:36:48 Lou: Cause he's the one who been giving me all this sweet magic juice. And I understand that if I put that… God damn, but we can't see, nobody can see anyone, right?

1:37:02 Zac: Is this guy going anywhere?

1:37:05 Brennan: What's that?

1:37:06 Zac: I just forgot about this.

1:37:07 Brennan: Oh, Licorina— She's just a servant.

1:37:09 Siobhan: She's a servant. There’s nothing she can do, really.

1:37:10 Lou: So I can't see anybody right?

1:37:14 Brennan: You can see Lapin, you can see that Tartguard next to you. You can't… You may make a Perception check to see if you can hear stuff, but--

1:37:19 Lou: Okay.

1:37:20 Emily: Can you like hold an action until you got hit?

1:37:23 Lou: Yeah, can I hold? I'll take the dodge action.

1:37:28 Brennan: Yeah, great.

1:37:28 Lou: Yeah, I'll take the dodge action.

1:37:30 Brennan: Cool. You don't go back into your rage, you take a dodge action.

1:37:32 Lou: I don't have any more.

1:37:33 Brennan: You're out. There you go.

1:37:36 Emily: Got all my superiority die.

1:37:38 Brennan: That's Amethar.

1:37:39 Emily: We gotta make this happen. I thought we were doing everything right.

1:37:42 Lou: We were.

1:37:43 Zac: It's just unfair.

1:37:44 Lou: I think Brennan just is messing us up with that reaction too.

1:37:48 Murph: I got a 21 on my Insight check and I didn't, they just nodded at me. Although that doesn't mean anything.

1:37:55 Zac: It means then maybe rolled well.

1:37:57 Siobhan: If those guys are bad, all of us are dead.

1:38:02 Zac: What is that? Who's that?

1:38:04 Siobhan: He's an archer. How do they know where he is?

1:38:13 Brennan: That's a great point, I'm gonna roll some Perception rolls. Your dad's not a quiet guy.

1:38:21 Siobhan: Fair. He's popping.

1:38:22 Zac: So in there, they would have disadvantage and he's already taken the dodge.

1:38:28 Brennan: These two totally lose your dad.

1:38:32 Siobhan: Yes.

1:38:34 Brennan: But they do not lose Liam. They start to run.

1:38:40 Siobhan: Fuck! I'm sorry Liam.

1:38:41 Lou: Run toward Liam?

1:38:42 Brennan: Yeah.

1:38:45 Ally: And I'm aware of that right? Cause now we're in battle so I'm alert to danger.

1:38:50 Brennan: You are alert to danger. These guys are gonna take some shots at you, Liam.

1:38:54 Emily: Do you have the Alert feat?

1:38:56 Ally: Yeah.

1:39:00 Brennan: Both miss.

1:39:00 Emily: Cool.

1:39:03 Brennan: These guys are gonna take swings with disadvantage on King Amethar. However they're gonna roll Stealth checks first. Both of them succeed on Stealth checks, meaning that their disadvantage and advantage cancel out, so they are going to attack you.

1:39:22 Zac: He has, he's in the fog cloud and has dodged, do those?

1:39:26 Brennan: You can't double stack disadvantage and advantage. That's gonna be a hit.

1:39:34 Zac: Fuck.

1:39:37 Brennan: 7, take 9 points of damage.

1:39:39 Lou: Down for the third time.

1:39:41 Brennan: Comes in, clubs you. And now they are next to Lapin, both raising weapons over to finish the job.

1:39:45 Siobhan: Fuck!

1:39:49 Brennan: (air whooshes) Amethar goes down those two right there, that is now… And I think that's fucking pretty much everybody trying to see if I haven't, missing any of my little guys. Okay, Lapin, that's you.

1:40:16 Zac: I know he's next to me. I know those guys are next to me. I'm going to… Well, do I have like a sense of, can I basically see them? Just because I know that they're right there. This, I mean, do I have to make any rolls for that?

1:40:35 Brennan: No you're probably, they're within five feet.

1:40:36 Zac: Okay, I'm going to… I only have two more heals left. I'm gonna heal him for one.

1:40:45 Emily: Yeah, I think that's good.

1:40:47 Zac: It's only 2. And then I'm going to use a step between wherever I can get to be next to both of those guys. And I'm gonna use Word of Radiance so I can do 1d6 of damage to both of them.

1:41:03 Brennan: Okay. Go for it. Or actually they just roll a save I think right?

1:41:08 Zac: Constitution saving throw or take 1d6.

1:41:11 Brennan: Yeah, they're gonna roll a Con save.

1:41:13 Zac: Oh, well. Shit.

1:41:14 Emily: (mumbles) I know, me too.

1:41:21 Siobhan: (whispered) Just remember to breathe.

1:41:23 Brennan: They both succeed.

1:41:24 Zac: So they don't take damage?

1:41:25 Brennan: They don't take damage. You utter a Word of Radiance, neither takes damage.

1:41:28 Zac: Can I just pray to the Sugar-Plum Fairy, to see if there's anything that they can tell me or something.

1:41:34 Brennan: You better pray.

1:41:35 Zac: Oh, you fucker. (laughs)

1:41:38 Brennan: That is Lapin's turn, the king has arisen with how many points did you get back?

1:41:44 Lou: 2. It's enough to keep me from dying.

1:41:46 Emily: It's also enough to keep you swinging.

1:41:48 Lou: Yeah. Come on, Cruller.

1:41:52 Emily: They attack you, they hit you so,

1:41:54 Ally: Man, only having two spell slots sucks.

1:41:57 Zac: It's fucking brutal.

1:41:57 Ally: You can't do anything.

1:41:57 Emily: As a warlock, you'll be that way for so many—

1:42:02 Lou: Years. Years like that.

1:42:03 Brennan: Six, Cruller misses due to the fog, (air whooshes) slashing around. Theo, that's you. You're in the fog.

1:42:12 Murph: Okay. Does that mean I have disadvantage on attacks?

1:42:14 Brennan: It does.

1:42:15 Murph: Fuck. I am going to cast Jump on King Amethar.

1:42:34 Brennan: On King Amethar?

1:42:36 Murph: Yeah.

1:42:37 Brennan: You cast just Jump on King Amethar. Okay.

1:42:41 Theobald: Get out of the mix please, my lord.

1:42:44 Amethar: I don't like that I have to, but I'm trying.

1:42:47 Brennan: You, reach into a center of your knight's heart and you hear the sound of your gummy people. (makes boing sound) (Emily laughs)

1:42:58 Zac: Oh, no.

1:42:59 Theobald: Just like being home.

1:43:00 Zac: (laughing) Oh, no.

1:43:02 Brennan: And a deep gumminess fills the soul of the King of Candia.

1:43:05 Ally: Do you maybe have a little thing of gummy juice I can drink?

1:43:08 Siobhan: Where is he bouncing, is it here? Is it there? Is it everywhere? (Emily laughs)

1:43:12 Brennan: (to camera) Don't sing the song, we can't license it.

1:43:13 Emily: We can only vaguely allude to it.

1:43:14 Brennan: Okay, cool.

1:43:17 Lou: What does Jump do?

1:43:19 Murph: You can jump three times, your jump is tripled. So I'm hoping you can like jump to the other side of the cart or something.

1:43:26 Brennan: Oh that's your action, any movement from you?

1:43:28 Murph: I'm staying, I'm just going to get as is, has he moved? I can't see cause of the trees. Where's Amethar at?

1:43:33 Ally: Can you run and talk to these people?

1:43:36 Brennan: Amethar is 10 feet away from you.

1:43:37 Murph: Sweet, I am just going to back up to as, get as close to Amethar as I can.

1:43:43 Brennan: Okay, cool. Corpses litter the ground, but you wedge your way in there. Great. Okay, great. That's Theo. Liam, that's you.

1:43:57 Ally: Okay. Can I like do an Investigation check and see what these people are, what they speak?

1:44:05 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:44:06 Ally: If they're friendly.

1:44:07 Brennan: You roll with advantage too, cause there are, you rolled pretty high, right?

1:44:09 Ally: Yeah, 18.

1:44:10 Brennan: Oh these are Ceresian soldiers, but they wear the crest of the Imperial army. So they're Imperial soldiers.

1:44:14 Ally: Can I yell to them?

1:44:15 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely. Do you speak Ceresian?

1:44:18 Ally: Yeah, I do.

1:44:19 Brennan: Oh, awesome great. Cool.

1:44:21 Ally: Right, yeah Ceresian?

1:44:22 Brennan: Yeah.

1:44:23 Ally: Yeah I speak Ceresian. Okay, I yell,

1:44:25 Liam: Hey, help us, the king is dying in that fog!

1:44:30 Brennan: You see that, he says,

1:44:32 Imperial Commander: (Italian accent) You've got it, men, after those archers.

1:44:34 Brennan: And you see that he lowers his spear and begins to run. And you see he says in perfect Candian and he says, (heroic orchestral music)

1:44:41 Imperial Commander: Friends of Candia have arrived for the King!

1:44:44 Ruby: For the king!

1:44:45 Jet: For the king! (heroic orchestral music)

1:44:49 Murph: I think they might just be good, we’ll find out.

1:44:49 Siobhan: I don’t know--

1:44:50 Emily: I think they're great.

1:44:51 Brennan: Cool that's for free, anything else you're doing--

1:44:53 Ally: Yeah, no, I'm definitely gonna take a shot at the more injured one.

1:44:56 Brennan: Go for it.

1:44:57 Ally: Preston kisses me, I get advantage.

1:44:59 Emily: A wet little snout.

1:45:00 Ally: That's over 20.

1:45:02 Brennan: Go for it.

1:45:03 Ally: Okay, come on please. Just give me a fucking 10. Oh, close. Okay, that's 13 damage to--

1:45:10 Brennan: These two guys turn around to see the Ceresians, you ice one in the back of the head with a mint arrow. This dude is done.

1:45:17 Ally: Okay.

1:45:18 Brennan: Hell yeah. Way to go there.

1:45:19 Ally: But what's up with this guy? (points to man by the tree) (All laugh)

1:45:22 Siobhan: Why isn't that guy attacking the guy that's right next to him?

1:45:24 Brennan: Listen every season. It's either a vulture or—

1:45:27 Ally: He's running with a bag.

1:45:29 Siobhan: Yeah, what's in the bag though?

1:45:31 Brennan: Jet that's your turn.

1:45:32 Emily: Okay. I would like to mount Sprinkle the faithful Steed and charge—

1:45:35 Siobhan: Mount!?

1:45:38 Murph: Sprinkle is tiny.

1:45:39 Brennan: Sprinkle is about the size of a corgi, but go for it. (Ally laughs)

1:45:43 Theobald: You're going to hurt him!

1:45:45 Emily: I’m but a wee licorice—

1:45:46 Zac: His little back!

1:45:47 Emily: And I'd like to charge one of the people who attacked my dad.

1:45:51 Brennan: Awesome, go for it. This guy right here—

1:45:53 Emily: So I have disadvantage because of the fog, but I'll have advantage because of Sprinkle, so I just have a regular?

1:45:58 Brennan: Regular attack.

1:45:59 Emily: Okay. Aww.

1:46:01 Murph: Fuck!

1:46:03 Emily: Two.

1:46:04 Brennan: Okay. You lash out and through the fog, do not find purchase with the Twizzling Blade. (air whooshes) Blade moves out. That is Jet's turn. He's going to rush up here. These guys are gonna rush and so three peel off, you go take care of this dude. These three rush into the fog as well. (upbeat music) You see, this dude rolls up, coming through the fog, you see, a tall, clean-shaven breadstick centurion. He looks like a young commander of the Ceresian army, given in tribute to the Imperial army. He runs up beside you, gives you plus 1d4 to your attacks and saves, and immediately grants you one melee attack, which you get free advantage on because you're within 10 feet.

1:47:18 Emily: (laughs triumphantly)

1:47:20 Brennan: Oh no, sorry. Don't roll with advantage though cause it's still the fog so it's just one flat.

1:47:24 Emily: Well I got 12 and a 13. Would a 20 or 19 hit?

1:47:31 Brennan: Both would hit.

1:47:31 Emily: Okay. Then I would say I hit.

1:47:33 Brennan: And you get Sneak Attack on this.

1:47:37 Emily: Cool, cool. Okay. That's gonna be 16.

1:47:40 Ally: Wow.

1:47:42 Brennan: 16 damage?

1:47:43 Emily: Yeah.

1:47:44 Brennan: You hear the tramping of feet. This guy has got those like Roman, like sandals all the way up the knee and like sort of like centurion breastplate. You see that he runs up without even, he makes quick eye contact with you and just brings this guy... This guy is facing away from you. He hits his weapon and instead of going for the kill shot himself, brings his spear down and brings the guy's head right down in front of you. So you just put your blade right through the top. You see that he, without even thinking, just claps you on the back and says,

1:48:14 Imperial Commander: Well done.

1:48:15 Brennan: And takes one more step into the fog.

1:48:16 Jet: (breathlessly) Who was he?

1:48:17 Siobhan: Did she kill him?

1:48:19 Brennan: Dead.

1:48:20 Jet: (gasps) My first killing blow and I don't even know the man’s name!

1:48:22 Ruby: You did? Oh I didn't see it. Oh God.

1:48:25 Jet: It's okay, the fog cloud saved dad. I'm sure I have many more killing blows in my future.

1:48:30 Ruby: You're right.

1:48:31 Murph: I wanna to yell out to everybody,

1:48:33 Theobald: Keep one of them alive!

1:48:34 Brennan: Awesome. And this—

1:48:36 Ally: How many are left?

1:48:37 Murph: Not many.

1:48:38 Ally: I think we're down to one and those three centurions—

1:48:40 Zac: There's one right here.

1:48:42 Ally: Oh, there's one there, okay.

1:48:46 Brennan: Okay. That's the Imperial forces. He's actually still got an action left, but he doesn't have any movement yet, so he's going to stop—

1:48:56 Jet: (calling out) What's your name?

1:48:57 Grissini: Commander Constano Grissini, I'm sorry we were late. Emily makes a little impressed whistle.

1:49:01 Brennan: You see, that, Ruby, that's your turn.

1:49:07 Siobhan: Oh, that's me. After me, it's them, right?

1:49:14 Lou: It's me.

1:49:14 Brennan: No, it's Amethar.

1:49:16 Siobhan: Sick. And then there's just this one guy left?

1:49:22 Zac: There's one there, one there.

1:49:23 Siobhan: One there, one there, and I'm right next to this guy right?

1:49:27 Brennan: Correct.

1:49:28 Siobhan: Am I right next to him?

1:49:29 Brennan: You are next to him.

1:49:30 Siobhan: Then I am going to, it's me and then it's you.

1:49:33 Lou: Yeah.

1:49:33 Siobhan: I'm gonna drop the Fog Cloud. Get my buddy Limon to give me a help action, so I can use my rapier. Which I'm not as good at, but I don't have-- I'm right next to him and I'm gonna attack this archer right next to me.

1:49:51 Brennan: Go for it.

1:49:55 Siobhan: Fuck. God. Does a 13 hit?

1:49:58 Brennan: 13 hits.

1:49:59 Emily: (cheers) Fuck this cheese.

1:50:04 Siobhan: Oh, great, okay. That is, an 8 plus 3 12, 13. No. Oh my God. 11. Maths!

1:50:12 Brennan: That's the first damage that guy's taken all fight.

1:50:14 Lou: Ooh.

1:50:15 Zac: The whole fight?

1:50:16 Ally: What kind of weapon does he have?

1:50:18 Siobhan: He has a bow.

1:50:19 Ally: He's an archer, okay.

1:50:21 Brennan: You do 11. Oh, these three guys in the fog, however, they stopped in the fog. They all had little pylon, short throwing javelins ready and just release javelins and ice this fucking dude through the chest. As soon as that they had readied actions, as soon as the fog dropped, they nail him. These guys over here, I'm going to roll. Ooh, those are some lousy rolls.

1:50:50 Ally: Can I yell “keep him alive” in Cerulean?

1:50:54 Brennan: In Ceresian?

1:50:57 Ally: Ceresian. (laughing) Cerulean. ♪ Pokemon ♪

1:50:59 Siobhan: Brand names! Don't edit this.

1:51:03 Brennan: Yeah, you yell that at them. It's gonna be the Tartguard.

1:51:10 Theobald: Grab him. Brennan makes a roll for the Tartguard, then looks up with a wry smile.

1:51:15 Theobald: Just a tackle, like we practiced!

1:51:17 Brennan: (chuckles) On a nat 20, the last Tartguard says,

1:51:24 Tartguard: For Candia!

1:51:26 Brennan: And puts his spear straight through the eyeball and out the back of the skull.

1:51:28 Zac: God damnit.

1:51:29 Murph: (laughs) What?

1:51:31 Siobhan: You idiot.

1:51:32 Tartguard: What were you saying in that goofy language?

1:51:36 Theobald: (exasperated) The same thing I said in your language.

1:51:38 Tartguard: What's that? There was so much shouting.

1:51:42 Amethar: Good job.

1:51:43 Zac: Can I make an Insight check?

1:51:46 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:51:48 Zac: I wanna pray to the Sugar-Plum Fairy quietly to myself cause I don't trust, I still feel like something's wrong, more wrong than...

1:51:58 Brennan: Well, let me first say this. Amethar you stand, the last combatants are dead. There is just carnage all over the ground. The fog cloud dissipates, and you see these Imperial soldiers standing here in the road. And with that, the battle ends out of initiative. (sighs of relief)

1:52:23 Zac: They have cut that tree down.

1:52:25 Ally: Yeah.

1:52:27 Brennan: So go ahead and make your Insight check. What are you trying to make an Insight check?

1:52:32 Zac: I mean we got out of that but still feels like something's wrong.

1:52:35 Murph: Can we go over and I wanna like rip the mask. I mean we know that these are cheese guys, but can we like search their bodies and--

1:52:41 Lou: Yeah. Can I take a look at the captain?

1:52:44 Brennan: Yes, you absolutely can.

1:52:47 Emily: I look at the cheese.

1:52:48 Ally: I'd like to start chopping up that tree, making little bonfires around the side of the road.

1:52:53 Brennan: Cool. That's an insane thing. What I'm just-- (laughs) what I'm going to say is—

1:52:58 Ally: I'm a camping guy!

1:53:00 Siobhan: I can use Prestidigitation to like light them, if they're small campfires.

1:53:02 Ally: I can use Druidcraft, I'm just...

1:53:06 Brennan: Now what I wanna, so first of all though, yes, there is stuff that you guys wanna do. In the first moment the battle ends, you're still, cause these guys were like popping out of hiding and shit. So you see that the commander looks around, orders his men to go behind the wall. You see that two of them go into here and immediately find a family of Candians bound and gagged in there, like farmers and stuff. They release. The commander rocks up,

1:53:32 Zac: I know what I want.

1:53:33 Brennan: What is everyone's injury level?

1:53:35 Siobhan: I'm at full.

1:53:37 Murph: I'm pretty good, I'm at 30.

1:53:38 Emily: I'm down two hit points, that's all.

1:53:42 Lou: I've died three times and I’m at 2 now. (Brennan laughs)

1:53:44 Zac: I'm at a 23.

1:53:46 Brennan: Okay.

1:53:47 Zac: I know what I wanna ask about.

1:53:48 Brennan: Great. You see the commander Grissini walks over to you, bows deeply and he says,

1:53:53 Grissini: Your royal majesty, I am so sorry for the lives of your fighting men that we could not arrive in time.

1:53:59 Amethar: It's fine though. You got here when you did. Thank you for that.

1:54:05 Emily: Is this the guy who (nods meaningfully) hooked me up in battle?

1:54:08 Brennan: Yes, it is. He looks at you and says,

1:54:11 Grissini: Your woman at arms is a talent with the blade.

1:54:15 Amethar: That's my daughter.

1:54:16 Grissini: (deeply apologetic) I am so sorry.

1:54:17 Theobald: Yes, that is the princess.

1:54:18 Brennan: You see he bows, he bows deeply and he says,

1:54:20 Grissini: Yes, it is my mistake. I am so very sorry.

1:54:21 Jet: I'm much more of a princess of the people.

1:54:26 Grissini: I am myself soldier of the people, it is an honor to escort you. We can take time. My men will see that we tend immediately.

1:54:35 Brennan: He immediately sends his men out to go see if any of the Tartguard are not fully dead. I'm just gonna roll. We're just gonna do… Give them one death save each.

1:54:45 Zac: Can I do Spare the Dying?

1:54:47 Brennan: I'll see, some of— you guys were fighting for a lot of rounds.

1:54:50 Zac: Yes. Brennan rolls the die, then does a double take in comical shock.

1:54:56 Brennan: 10, 10, 11, 15, 16.

1:54:59 Ally: Cool.

1:55:00 Brennan: All of them, can be, are stable and that's insane. (Ally laughs) Cool. So you see, he looks around. Let me see if anyone else, anyone else drop?

1:55:12 Emily: How's Licorishina?

1:55:14 Brennan: Licorina is—

1:55:15 Siobhan: She's fine.

1:55:16 Brennan: She's fine.

1:55:17 Emily: We got to give her like a little grenade or something. (laughs)

1:55:21 Brennan: That's crazy that all of them would survive.

1:55:23 Lou: Here is a grenade.

1:55:24 Siobhan: Here’s one single grenade.

1:55:26 Lou: Use it well.

1:55:26 Siobhan: Suicide grenade. Use it to kill yourself if we all die.

1:55:30 Brennan: Those are incredible-- I rolled-- I was mad that they all survived and I rolled twice again and they're all fine. They all made it.

1:55:38 Ally: That's crazy.

1:55:39 Brennan: That's crazy. So you see that the… you see the Tartguard are bandaged, taken in, you see that, cool. What was it that, Lapin wanted to do?

1:55:53 Zac: I'm sorry, what are the guard called again?

1:55:57 Brennan: This is the Imperial army. So this is the Imperial army of the Concordant Empire.

1:56:00 Zac: And it's the Imperial messenger, was the one person who came to the queen and then a separate messenger came to the daughters?

1:56:07 Brennan: That's correct. Yes.

1:56:08 Zac: And I was aware of that. I don't, I still feel like I don't trust the Imperials at this point.

1:56:16 Brennan: Yeah, of course. Go ahead and give me an Insight. Are you gonna go talk to Commander Grissini?

1:56:24 Zac: I, yeah.

1:56:24 Brennan: Tell me what rolls you wanna make and we'll make it.

1:56:26 Zac: I just, I guess I'll just make an Insight check about him and his, guards.

1:56:31 Brennan: Go ahead and give me an Insight check.

1:56:32 Zac: Okay.

1:56:33 Emily: I'm kinda talking his ear off. About my training regimen.

1:56:38 Zac: Insight? 23.

1:56:41 Brennan: Cool. You look at Commander Grissini. You see him talking to his men. You see he's gesturing to these brigands. They're like helping to investigate other, like taking the body of the Tartguard into the wagons. He looks up at you and goes,

1:56:53 Grissini: It's a miracle that nobody died here.

1:56:57 Lapin: I know. This was horrible.

1:57:00 Grissini: You are a, well, of course you are Primogen of the Church. (hand gesture)

1:57:06 Lapin: Yes sir. (waves hands around vaguely in response)

1:57:10 Grissini: Wise primogen, I don't know what miracles you have worked here today, but thank you for them.

1:57:19 Brennan: You, the bead you’re gonna get with the 23 is that he's straight up. That he's like, was sent here. This is the borderland. He was probably waiting down the road for you. In fact, you actually hear come at the road, the other Tartguard that were down, your like advance guard of people you sent, ends up coming back with these guys. He was sent here to escort you. He looks, with a 23, which is very high. He looks ashamed. He looks fucked up that he wasn't able to get here earlier. I mean, you see that he would probably have tendered his resignation if anyone had died here. And is like dealing with the fact that he would have dishonored himself had anyone here lost their life.

1:57:58 Zac: Okay. Well, I'm just going to say,

1:57:59 Lapin: You owe the king your life.

1:58:05 Grissini: I owe the king my life?

1:58:06 Lapin: Just for the future.

1:58:08 Amethar: Okay, oh yeah.

1:58:13 Grissini: I understand.

1:58:14 Brennan: With the 23 though you do see something, he looks at Ruby and something crosses his eyes and he can't quite look at Ruby.

1:58:26 Zac: Can I make a—

1:58:28 Emily: Is this because magic is a little bit of, a little taboo?

1:58:33 Brennan: You see, Lord Cruller walks up to you, Ruby, he says,

1:58:40 Calroy: Remarkable work, Your Highness, things are going to get very complicated in Comida. I don't suggest you pull off tricks like that again lightly.

1:58:55 Ruby: I don't even know what I was doing. When I was dead I saw Aunt Lazuli and perhaps... magic.

1:59:11 Calroy: That's the exact kind of thing that we are never going to say out loud again.

1:59:18 Ruby: Okay.

1:59:19 Zac: I wanna talk to the guard again and using Deception, say,

1:59:24 Lapin: This one is touched by the Bulbian faith.

1:59:27 Ruby: Amen.

1:59:28 Brennan: Give me a Deception roll with disadvantage. (Emily whistles)

1:59:37 Zac: 12.

1:59:39 Brennan: Okay, hold on one second.

1:59:41 Siobhan: Shit.

1:59:46 Brennan: 12. I'm gonna do one last Box of Doom.

1:59:49 Ally: Wow! (intense music)

1:59:55 Brennan: He gets a plus 2 to this roll for Insight? 10 or higher he knows something’s up. Brennan rolls in the box. The roll is almost too quick to see, but to the camera it looks like it might be a 1? He sits back down without saying a word.

2:00:02 Lou: Did anybody see? He gonna tell us?

2:00:09 Brennan: He looks at you and says,

2:00:11 Grissini: She is touched by the Bulbian… the Bulb has gifted her with this, gift.

2:00:20 Lapin: Yes.

2:00:26 Grissini: (sighs in relief) The gifts manifest in ways strange and uncommon. That is a very good to hear. I see that of course traveling in your company, but I am not surprised the nieces of Saint Citrona, it is, uh, (corrects himself) Saint Citrina.

2:00:42 Amethar: Get it right. (Brennan laughs)

2:00:45 Ruby: Yeah, my favorite aunt.

2:00:47 Grissini: My apologies, Your Majesty. We will… The young boys here, we will clear this tree, we'll be back on the road and we will go through, we'll light the lanterns. There's no need to stop tonight.

2:01:00 Brennan: Does anyone have any Investigation they want to do here?

2:01:02 Murph: Could we talk to the people in that house that were kidnapped?

2:01:06 Brennan: Yeah absolutely. You see those two little gumball head kids and a little sort of purple lolly farmer, looks out and says,

2:01:15 Farmer: (rural English accent) Right sir, it were right terrible, them cheese pirates came in here and they bound us up hand and foot and then they marked themselves up with rotten meat, sir fish and bacon and the like.

2:01:28 Theobald: Did you overhear them saying anything?

2:01:30 Farmer: They were speaking some gobbledygook. I couldn't really understand.

2:01:34 Theobald: All right.

2:01:35 Farmer: They didn't speak no good Candian and that's for sure.

2:01:38 Theobald: Do you mind if I look around and see if they left anything behind here?

2:01:42 Farmer: Sir, you being a knight and all, you is welcomed to do as you wish.

2:01:46 Theobald: Appreciate it.

2:01:47 Brennan: Go ahead and give me an Investigation check.

2:01:48 Murph: Can I have Sprinkle help me?

2:01:50 Brennan: Yeah.

2:01:50 Theobald: Sniff around, Sprinkle.

2:01:58 Murph: 14.

2:01:59 Brennan: You find only what you knew in battle. I'll say this. You don't see any steeds, you don't see any fucking way that these guys got here. So like they aren't like marauders, they like sailed to a nearby tributary and then like got here, however they fucking got here, it's like they don't seem they got here by outlaw means, if that makes sense. Like there's no way they didn't like, ride through the forest to get here. There would be like steeds, like stable somewhere nearby.

2:02:35 Murph: And this dude in this carriage is dairy, right?

2:02:38 Brennan: Yes.

2:02:39 Brennan: Or he's, well, Lord Swirlie's ice cream. So he's loyal to Candia. But you see he comes out and says,

2:02:43 Lord Swirlie: Hey, we hid in the carriage as long as we could. What a fearsome uproar outside. Terrible, terrible, but onto Comida, we must I assume.

2:02:55 Theobald: You ever run into cheese bandits?

2:02:59 Lord Swirlie: Many come across the coast in the North of course. Many, many yes.

2:03:05 Theobald: Chancellor, would you mind coming here for a second?

2:03:06 Lapin: (disgruntled) Why, what—

2:03:07 Theobald: You are a bit more insightful than me.

2:03:11 Murph: Could we do Insight checks on this dude?

2:03:13 Brennan: Do it.

2:03:13 Murph: (rolls) Fuck!

2:03:14 Emily: While they do that, can I look through some of this Carnish weaponry and see if there's any interesting weaponry that can be thrown from afar?

2:03:22 Brennan: Yeah.

2:03:23 Emily: Like a ranged weapon?

2:03:23 Zac: Uh, 21.

2:03:25 Murph: I got a 7. Good thing I called you over.

2:03:27 Lapin: You're too stupid and I should check, is that what you’re— That felt mean. (Murph laughs)

2:03:34 Brennan: You see Lord Swirlie looks like he has greatly diminished himself by never coming out of the carriage and helping to fight.

2:03:39 Murph: Oh, good.

2:03:40 Brennan: You look over, as you’re talking to him, though, he’s like,

2:03:42 Lord Swirlie: I have no, certainly no clue!

2:03:46 Brennan: You see that Lord Cruller comes over and says,

2:03:49 Calroy: Did you speak to Commander Grissini?

2:03:52 Lapin: Yes.

2:03:54 Calroy: I don't know who's going to be able to speak to his men.

2:03:57 Brennan: You see that the other soldiers that also saw the fog cloud go up are just doing their work, but keeping their eyes downcast as they look at Ruby. You see, he says,

2:04:07 Calroy: (hushed) It's not safe for us to discuss anything, but we need to find a time to speak with us and to the king. And maybe, if your suspicions are what they are, without Lord Swirlie. Things are not going to end well. If any of those Ceresian soldiers talk when we get to Comida about what they saw, and if we tell the king in the wrong way, you know how he's going to solve the problem. (Murph and Emily sigh)

2:04:38 Brennan: And with that we end this second episode of A Crown of Candy. Tune in next week, bye! [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 3: Keep Sharp] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20] (static sound)

2:04:44 Brennan: Other terrible things that can happen to you short of death.

2:04:48 Ruby: So I just have to lie?

2:04:49 Brennan: You guys head to the capital city of Comida!

2:04:54 Liam: I have no interest in romance, but I would like to be held.

2:04:57 Jet: Can I have my underwear back? (laughs)

2:05:01 Brennan: Witchcraft brought on an Imperial highway. (mumbles)

2:05:07 Theobald: Be careful, you don't know who your friends are.

2:05:09 Amethar: I know who my friends are.

2:05:10 Basha: I see you in the melee tomorrow, huh?

2:05:13 Amethar: Yeah, yeah. You fucking will.

2:05:13 Captions extracted by: matthew#2131

2:05:13 Edited by: matthew, rowan solsys