Lapin's Big Day

0:00:20 Brennan: Welcome, one and all, to another exciting episode of A Crown of Candy. I'm your humble dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan, with me as always are our intrepid heroes, say hi, intrepid heroes.

0:00:29 All: Hi, intrepid heroes!

0:00:31 Siobhan: I don't think you're that humble.

0:00:35 Ally: Oh!

0:00:35 Zac: Wow!

0:00:35 Ally: And then Ruby died in a storytelling episode. (cast laughing)

0:00:41 Brennan: Last we left our wonderful sweet candy heroes, they were in the capital city of Comida, the seat of the Concordant Empire atop the Great Pyramid of Food. And there had been a grand tournament, and an attempt on the life of King Amethar. A poison dagger, (to Siobhan) by the way, you should add those two poison daggers to your inventory.

0:01:07 Siobhan: Ooh, oh hell yeah.

0:01:08 Brennan: Yeah, you didn't give them to anybody.

0:01:10 Emily: Fuck yeah.

0:01:11 Siobhan: Inventory?

0:01:12 Brennan: Water steel daggers, particularly poisonous to Candians. Dissolves the very substance of their bodies.

0:01:24 Siobhan: I give one of them to Jet.

0:01:26 Emily: Sweet.

0:01:27 Brennan: Sir Keradin Deeproot, paladin of the Bulbian Church, attempted to murder King Amethar, and but for some extremely quick thinking on King Amethar’s part to simply disqualify himself from the match, some very discreet warlock magic from Chancellor Lapin, some less-discreet Candian druidic magic from the Count of Freezyberg himself, Liam Wilhelmina.

0:01:57 Ally: I'm in trouble.

0:01:58 Brennan: And a quick arrest of Sir Keradin, our heroes found him arrested, the Pontifex sentenced him to be hanged, he was brought to the imperial garrison where he was quickly questioned by Lapin and Sir Theobald. Lapin got some pretty huge information out of Sir Keradin, discovering that the water steel daggers were given to Sir Keradin by (Italian accent) Primogen Fettucina Alfredi.

0:02:31 Ally: I didn't trust her. She was always laying down in her mini.

0:02:35 Brennan: There you go.

0:02:36 Ally: Can't even stand.

0:02:36 Siobhan: Too loose.

0:02:37 Lou: You can tell so much from the mini.

0:02:39 Ally: You can tell so much from the mini.

0:02:40 Emily: I thought she just seemed really pretty and elegant.

0:02:42 Ally: Really chill.

0:02:44 Brennan: However, we are going to begin our session amidst the slippered feet of the Tartguard, walking back up the hill to the top of Comida and the Great Pyramid of Food with King Amethar, his twin daughters, and his cousin Liam. As you guys are walking, what occupies your mind, returning from this botched grand tournament?

0:03:08 Emily: I think I wanna be within five feet of both Ruby and Liam.

0:03:11 Siobhan: Mm-hmm.

0:03:13 Emily: And my dad. I think I'm just trying to be like a focal point in between all of them, because I'm worried about all three.

0:03:23 Siobhan: I'm like looking for exits, I'm just doing that thing where I'm just clocking, like oh, this is the secret door where the servants go through, this is a rooftop that we could scramble over.

0:03:34 Ally: I'd like to talk to Amethar.

0:03:36 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely. A deep raspberry glow in the sky as the sun lowers in the west over the Bay of Pulp. The smell of fruit goes over Comida. Your paranoia, Ruby, has caused Yak to take off from your shoulder, and he circles the city overhead, his butterscotch eyes peeled for any threat of danger. You both walk side by side with each other. Ruby and Jet have double leveled up once more. Having fought side by side with Annabelle Cheddar, the Captain of the Dairy Islands, and having successfully jumped into the defense of your father, you feel a certainty in your step and a stride, you've been so tricky your whole adolescence, and suddenly you are in a place where it doesn't feel like tricks are going to cut it anymore, and you find your hand just drifting, almost without thought to just rest comfortably on the basket hilt of your aunt's magical sword.

0:04:44 Jet: Ruby, do I look so badass right now?

0:04:46 Ruby: Dude, you have no idea.

0:04:48 Jet: Ruby, I think I'm gonna take the throne.

0:04:53 Ruby: Shut up. That's really cool.

0:04:54 Jet: Thank you.

0:04:57 Ruby: I really think it's cool, and I think you're gonna do a great job.

0:04:59 Jet: I was thinking maybe like I could be king and you could be queen.

0:05:02 Ruby: That's not how it works, and that's really incesty.

0:05:04 Jet: Okay, I'll keep—

0:05:06 Ruby: You should've paid a little bit more attention in class. I know it's boring.

0:05:09 Jet: Okay, but we could redefine what king and queen means. A king and a queen is just about having a connection. You cannot argue, we have a deeper connection—

0:05:19 Ruby: Right, but can I get married?

0:05:20 Jet: Yeah, you can get married.

0:05:22 Liam: You can have a really deep connection without sex. Sorry, hi.

0:05:24 Ruby: Hi, Liam.

0:05:27 Jet: Liam, do you wanna be... something in my court?

0:05:31 Liam: Yeah, definitely.

0:05:33 Ruby: Okay.

0:05:34 Brennan: So less than 30 minutes after declaring to all of the assembled dignitaries of the six kingdoms that she would neither marry nor take the throne, Princess Jet has pulled a hard 180.

0:05:46 Emily: No, I said I wouldn't marry.

0:05:47 Brennan: Oh, that's correct, you said you wouldn't marry.

0:05:49 Emily: I said I wouldn't marry, and then I thought about it, and I thought, well, if I'm the king, then I can just decide what the customs are, and so I don't have to get married, and I don't have to produce an heir.

0:06:01 Brennan: You two walk side by side. As you are filled with that certainty, Ruby, you look over, as you're looking around, you and Liam also talking to each other. The martial certainty that fills Jet is not what fills you two. Your eyes begin to dart around, Ruby, you've always had sharp vision, which is what drew you to archery in the first place. And Liam, you begin to feel not sight but other senses reach out, something deep in the ground, as though spirits of the earth are talking to you. You've always had a keen ear. It's never been interesting to you what people say or talk about when there's birdsong to listen to, what the wind is doing, trees and leaves, and there's so much the natural world is trying to tell you. And you guys feel, in this place where magic is feared and hated, a welling up of the Candian magic within you. Ruby, you look to a window for a moment, and passing the window, you see a swirl of sparkling indigo cloak and smiling eyes that you saw in inky blackness when you fell atop the wagon on the Sucrosi Road.

0:07:14 Ruby: Shh.

0:07:15 Brennan: As you stop for a moment, your aunt smiles at you from the reflection in the glass, and stepping from the inky blackness behind her, you see a tall, warm chocolate-armored woman with a rapier at her side, who elbows the reflection of the archmage, smiles looking at Jet, the two of them vanish.

0:07:40 Ruby: Did you see that?

0:07:42 Jet: Hmm? Oh, did you not hear me? I was just talking about some initiatives I was thinking about for when I was king.

0:07:48 Ruby: Oh, cool, yeah, no, sorry, I was... Yeah. Great, good.

0:07:54 Jet: What did you see?

0:07:56 Ruby: It's nothing, I just thought that I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but.

0:08:00 Jet: Cool. So anyways, yeah.

0:08:03 Brennan: King Amethar, you are… How many hit points are you at right now?

0:08:06 Lou: 9.

0:08:10 Brennan: You're at 9. When you watch your father once again, bloodied and covered in scars, sort of bandaged, but the bandages seep, and you can smell the deep, syrupy purple-pink smell of the candy blood of your father, the king. You look down and you still see that like, fruit cork binding on the edge of Payment Day as you walk.

0:08:35 Lou: Ah, I think I crack it off and continue to walk in silence with Payment Day at my side, just a little bit straighter.

0:08:52 Brennan: A sense of martial readiness returns to you. The attack on the road was a mystery, and what happened in the tournament is a mystery as well, but one with fewer answers than the attack on the road, and kind of wild, aggressive instinct returns to you from many long years since you have needed its use. Liam, you wanted to say something to Amethar.

0:09:28 Ally: Yeah.

0:09:30 Liam: So, do you think I'm in trouble? How obvious was it? I know you were in the middle of dying.

0:09:37 Amethar: I was in the middle of dying. I don't know how obvious it was.

0:09:41 Liam: Okay.

0:09:43 Amethar: But Liam?

0:09:43 Liam: Mm-hmm.

0:09:46 Amethar: You saved my life. And whatever happens, we will deal with it.

0:09:53 Ruby: And Liam's on the council now.

0:09:54 Jet: Yeah, you are currently on the council of the Empire, and you've got both the king and the future king on your side.

0:10:03 Liam: Mmm. Two kings.

0:10:04 Amethar: I don't think you should bet on being on the council. I'm not sure the tournament will be considered valid in any way.

0:10:14 Ruby: But that's so unfair, he won.

0:10:16 Amethar: I mean, it ended early, you know.

0:10:19 Ruby: Right.

0:10:21 Amethar: Because I got stabbed by poison.

0:10:25 Ruby: They should give you the boon, because you got stabbed by poison.

0:10:27 Amethar: That's very sweet of you, but that's not it.

0:10:29 Ruby: They cheated.

0:10:30 Liam: I just remember looking up in the stands and seeing everybody look at me like I was evil.

0:10:38 Jet: Liam, I'm going to be honest, I think there was a vibe against you.

0:10:44 Amethar: There was definitely a vibe.

0:10:45 Liam: They hated me, right? I knew, see, I can tell when people hate me.

0:10:50 Jet: It wasn't personal.

0:10:51 Amethar: Liam, it's the same thing that we talked about, the rope, but what you did, you had to do.

0:10:56 Liam: Yeah, right?

0:10:57 Amethar: You had to do it. And I'm glad that you did it, and you shouldn't feel bad about doing it, and whatever comes from it, we will handle. You're not going anywhere unless you want to.

0:11:07 Liam: Okay. Cool.

0:11:09 Jet: Not to mention, when I'm King of Candia, magic will be perfectly legal. It will flow from the faucets.

0:11:15 Ruby: Yes.

0:11:16 Jet: I'm gonna open a kindergarten. Murph cracks up.

0:11:18 Liam: Cool!

0:11:20 Ruby: Just one kindergarten?

0:11:21 Liam: You're gonna open one kindergarten for all of Candia? You're gonna be the best king ever. Emily tries to speak through her laughter.

0:11:28 Amethar: We don't have kindergarten right now.

0:11:30 Liam: I know.

0:11:31 Ruby: That is a huge improvement.

0:11:32 Liam: That'd be huge.

0:11:34 Jet: You have start them young.

0:11:35 Amethar: Yeah, we only start at first grade right now, so if we started at kindergarten, that would be impressive.

0:11:41 Jet: But specifically a magic kindergarten.

0:11:43 Ruby: Yeah, Kinder Egg garden.

0:11:44 Liam: Oh! That's big news.

0:11:47 Siobhan: We're not allowed to say brand names, but.

0:11:49 Liam: That's cool. Okay, good, 'cause honestly, everyone was like, looking at me, and everyone was kinda whispering, and people started running, and I almost started running. Do you think we should pick like, I don't know, like a meet-up spot or something, if I ever have to run, that I can meet up with you guys?

0:12:08 Jet: Well, you'll always be safe in Candia, that is for certain. But--

0:12:14 Amethar: I would say for now, if you need to run, trust that we can find you. I mean, Cal is an incredible tracker, we have things at our disposal that we will find you. But as far as I'm concerned, there's no need to run, because nothing's going to happen to you.

0:12:24 Liam: If you ever-

0:12:33 Jet: We could also open like a PO box.

0:12:36 Liam: Yeah, we could do that, and then we could send each other letters.

0:12:40 Ruby: That's another thing that you should do as king, you should have a postal system.

0:12:44 Jet: Centralized postal system.

0:12:45 Liam: How about we say this. If you can't find me and you find some like bloomed flowers tacked to some trees, that will lead you in the wrong direction.

0:12:57 Ruby: Oh, a twist.

0:12:59 Jet: Okay.

0:13:00 Amethar: Great, that makes sense, because that's what people will think.

0:13:03 Liam: Totally.

0:13:03 Jet: Yeah.

0:13:03 Liam: They see peppermint flowers, I mean, come on, they're looking for the peppermint boy, I mean, come on.

0:13:06 Amethar: Perfect. Very smart.

0:13:08 Liam: I'll be in one of the other 364 possible directions to look for me.

0:13:16 Amethar: I like that.

0:13:18 Zac: 364?

0:13:21 Brennan: You see, you guys arrive—

0:13:24 Ally: 359, I'm so sorry.

0:13:28 Brennan: You guys arrive back at your quarters in the Great Pyramid of Food. The Tartguard takes their positions, you are surrounded by, so the Tartguard are protecting your quarters and then outside of that are Imperial Guard. You see that more Imperial Guard show up as well, and Sir Morris Brie actually comes with a contingent of Dairy islanders, and asks for a brief audience with the king.

0:13:58 Lou: I grant it.

0:14:00 Brennan: He comes in and says,

0:14:00 Morris: Sir, sorry, we weren't at the tournament. We heard about the attempt on your life. If you wish for us to stand guard on the quarters, we would be honored to do so.

0:14:16 Amethar: There's no need. We have what we need, between the Imperial Guard and the Candians. You keep an eye on the Lady Coldbottle.

0:14:26 Brennan: He nods and says,

0:14:26 Morris: The duchess's safety is of course first priority.

0:14:31 Brennan: You see that Manta Ray looks up, and he for once isn't like joking. He looks over at you and says,

0:14:38 Manta Ray: Right, there, well, I'll say this. I'm not a man who likes to take the Bulb's judgment into his own name, but if there is any justice granted by the Bulb above, then it'll send that carrot to the deepest pit of the Hungry One's stomach, and that's for certain. (spits)

0:14:59 Brennan: Spits.

0:15:00 Ruby: Yeah!

0:15:01 Brennan: He salutes you, and they take off. You guys are just back in your quarters right now.

0:15:05 Siobhan: I wanna check out the window situation, like I wanna see--

0:15:09 Liam: Oh, Preston can set a bunch of alarms.

0:15:11 Emily: That's what I was gonna say, I was gonna do a bunch of booby traps.

0:15:14 Liam: Okay, Preston, we need to make this place safe.

0:15:17 Siobhan: Right.

0:15:17 Brennan: Preston goes into a corner and wiggles, and sneezes a bunch of peppermint dust, and just starts doing that in the various corners of the room.

0:15:26 Siobhan: Right.

0:15:27 Liam: Trust his process.

0:15:28 Siobhan: I also have a bunch of ball bearings and oil, and I'd like to set some traps.

0:15:32 Emily: I think we're doing Home Alone style.

0:15:35 Ally: Home Alone style? I have a bunch of micro-machines, and they're peppermint.

0:15:39 Lou: I'd like to send a Tartguard to find Cal, Lapin, and Theobald as soon as possible.

0:15:46 Siobhan: Okay, watch out for my ball bearings.

0:15:47 Brennan: A tart, you guys are, so we'll cut back to you guys outside of the dungeon. What do you guys do outside, you say that Cal looks, as you pull this move, Cal really looks at you, and you can see a look of like, “I haven't seen this fuckin' crusty rabbit bust a move yet.” He goes,

0:16:04 Calroy: Very well done, Chancellor.

0:16:09 Lapin: Thank you.

0:16:11 Zac: So the guard has gone to, as we understand, arrest—

0:16:16 Brennan: Oh, there's plenty, this is an imperial garrison, there's like 100 soldiers left to like, guard Sir Keradin's cell, fucking, man the battlements, and Grissini just took 40 dudes and himself to go arrest the Primogen.

0:16:29 Zac: [to Murph] Should we join the-- Should we join the arrest or should we get back?

0:16:32 Murph: I think we should join the arrest. I could inhabit Sprinkle for a second, and maybe try to send a message to them?

0:16:41 Zac: Sounds good to me.

0:16:44 Murph: Cool.

0:16:45 Emily: I'm laying out a saucer for Sprinkle.

0:16:47 Murph: I say- Actually, could I like, I know I can, oh, it's only if it's within 100 feet of me. So he's very far away. But always obeys your commands. Yeah, okay. Sprinkle's just hanging out. (laughs)

0:17:02 Brennan: Sprinkle looks at the saucer you laid out for him and goes, (babbling), inchworms up the side of the bed, goes up onto the bed post, and does a full like wrestling dive to like, piledrive the saucer, it shatters and he just rolls around twitching in the milk.

0:17:18 Jet: No foe too small for this one.

0:17:19 Theobald: I tried, it didn't go well. I have a headache now. (cast laughing)

0:17:25 Lapin: You okay?

0:17:27 Brennan: Cool, you fall in line with those. You see, Grissini nods, and go ahead and make an Insight check, you guys, if you would like.

0:17:37 Murph: Okay. Jesus Christ. 6, 7.

0:17:48 Zac: 11.

0:17:50 Murph: Yikes.

0:17:52 Brennan: Okay. You see that Grissini looks over at you, Lapin, and says,

0:17:56 Grissini: Primogen Lapin. I will pronounce sentence, but if you could lend the authority of the church, it will make this process much easier.

0:18:10 Lapin: I think I should go with them. Do you wanna join me?

0:18:13 Theobald: Yeah, I'll come along.

0:18:15 Brennan: You see that Cal looks over and says,

0:18:18 Calroy: Hmm, maybe three Candians with the Imperial Guard is too many, it sends a message that we are pulling more favor than we should, in an equal concord.

0:18:31 Theobald: Should you or I go to the king, or should both of us?

0:18:37 Brennan: You see that the Tartguard comes at that point to collect Calroy anyway, and he says,

0:18:42 Calroy: Well, that's our decision made. Best of luck, I'll see you. Don’t- This feels insanely paranoid, if you're not back in a certain amount of time, how much time before we come look for you?

0:18:54 Theobald: I would say if we haven't contacted you in the next hour or two, come look for us, yeah.

0:18:59 Calroy: All right.

0:19:00 Brennan: He heads off with the Tartguard, you guys head off with the Imperial Guard.

0:19:03 Theobald: Oh, maybe have Ruby send her bird towards where we would be—

0:19:08 Brennan: You see he says, as he speaks in fluent Ceresian to Commander Grissini, Grissini talks back, he nods and says,

0:19:13 Calroy: Good, well, you'll at least have some eyes in the sky.

0:19:17 Zac: Before Calroy leaves, I wanna ask him, or talk to him real fast, but,

0:19:20 Lapin: I don't trust a lot that is happening here. I think it would be wise if we figured out, if we explored our options in the routes of a boat.

0:19:41 Calroy: Ah, well, as luck would have it, the people that seem to like us the most have a great deal of boats. I will get right on that, I think that is very prudent. I want to say, with the tournament's conclusion and the fact that they will be honoring the results, it seems, we may have a Concordant Emperor as early as tomorrow morning. So we'll either need a boat or we will need to resize the Concordant Throne to fit our liege lord's impressive frame. So let's keep our fingers crossed for the latter, shall we? All right.

0:20:24 Brennan: You guys head off with the Imperial Guard marching. They head up this big highway, Calroy takes off with the Tartguard. You guys arrive at the Great Pyramid of Food. Constano talks to a couple of the Imperial Guard, he doesn't meet anyone that outranks, actually, I'm just gonna do a flat luck check. No, he meets nobody that outranks him. He moves to the Great Pyramid, and he arrives in sort of a central grotto in the base of the Great Pyramid of Food that is lit with beautiful sort of olive-smelling torchlight, you see huge sheaves of grain everywhere. In this grotto you see that the Primogen, with her glowing eyes, is lounging in a corner, and you see seated across from her, with this huge entourage of non-imperial Ceresian military, so actual Ceresian loyalist military. There's a lot of Ceresian military here, and there's a little moment of tension, you realize, as you're looking at Ceresian Imperial Army with then Ceresian loyalists in this room. Or not loyalists, but national Ceresian military. They walk in, and everyone sort of looks up. Across from the Primogen is Senator Ciabatta, big red loaf guy. He looks up, stands up, and says,

0:21:57 Ciabatta: Lord Commander Grissini. To what do we owe the pleasure?

0:22:02 Brennan: Grissini, whatever expression on his face is completely blank, he just slams the butt of his spear twice into the ground and says,

0:22:11 Grissini: By the order of his imperial majesty, Gustavo Uvano, first of his name, Emperor of the Concord, I pronounce you, Primogen Fettucina Alfredi, under arrest by the authority of the emperor.

0:22:28 Brennan: He looks to you.

0:22:29 Lapin: And my authority as Primogen of the Bulbian Church.

0:22:34 Brennan: She stands up. She doesn't look fuckin' shook for a moment until you talk. She looks around and says,

0:22:42 Alfredi: What is the meaning of this? I am a Primogen of the church. You forget yourself, Chancellor Lapin.

0:22:57 Lapin: You forget the Bulbian faith. We have found you out, we know you made the daggers.

0:23:04 Brennan: Huge gasp all across the room. She says,

0:23:07 Alfredi: He is lying to you, this is not the truth. He speaks in falsehoods.

0:23:14 Brennan: There's a tense moment, and I think maybe you guys are reminded of stuff that Calroy talked about when he was talking about politics, and he was saying like, it's all just a bunch of lies we're all pretending is true, and you look at all of these legal relationships, but then you also see what is really in front of you, which is a room full of people with weapons and maybe magic. Senator Ciabatta looks at Primogen Alfredi, he looks at you. (Brennan makes a roll behind the table) Senator Ciabatta regards you. (slurps a drink, then shrugs) Takes one step back, and you see Grissini's men advance, Alfredi attempts to make a fuckin' run for it, and they jump, grab her, the second they put hands on her, she just stops and just squares up and goes silent, and just keeps her face turned to you, you can't see, you know, she has no pupils to direct her vision, keeps her head tilted towards you as she's walked out of the pyramid.

0:24:25 Zac: I bow to the senator and say,

0:24:25 Lapin: Thank you for understanding. I appreciate your decision-making in this difficult time.

0:24:35 Brennan: He raises a glass and says,

0:24:35 Ciabatta: I owe you my thanks, Primogen, I was trapped in a very boring conversation. (cast laughing)

0:24:46 Brennan: You see, he looks at the two of you, Grissini goes to take his men. Are you going to accompany Grissini back with Alfredi, or are you gonna- It looks like the senator actually, he has actually this very friendly body language to you, and is kind of looking to wait for Grissini and the Imperials to leave, it looks like. Almost like, he has that thing of like, “are we out of earshot, are we out earshot?”

0:25:09 Murph: Cool, maybe I'll go back and just make sure nobody makes a run for it or anything?

0:25:16 Zac: You'll accompany them to--

0:25:17 Murph: I'll go back with them, and then I'll join you back at the quarters.

0:25:23 Zac: Okay, yeah.

0:25:23 Brennan: Awesome. So you head out. You see Senator Ciabatta looks at you and says,

0:25:32 Ciabatta: It is a very bold move to come into this place, the grotto of the Ceresian Senate, and arrest our Primogen in front of us. It is a type of bravery that I find is severely lacking in my homeland. I wish more of our church and senate officials had your same bravado.

0:25:54 Lapin: I don't find it brave on my end. I feel as though I'm just following the steps laid out by the great Bulb itself.

0:26:02 Ciabatta: Ah yes, may all of our steps be guided by the Bulb.

0:26:07 Brennan: He says,

0:26:07 Ciabatta: Tell me if you are free and wish to take a walk with me out on the ramparts. I find the sunsets here in Comida are que bella, most beautiful. The Pulp Bay, the way that the juice reflects the light of the Bulb, it is—

0:26:23 Lapin: Yes, the juice of the bay is quite stunning.

0:26:26 Ciabatta: Yes. On a hot day, you can really smell it, you know? I went out there on the middle of Highbright one year when I was here, and I tell you, (laughs) it was like chunky.

0:26:38 Lapin: Yes. (fake laughs)

0:26:39 Ciabatta: I went for a swim and got stuck, you know?

0:26:40 Lapin: Oh.

0:26:40 Ciabatta: Yes.

0:26:44 Brennan: He goes off to take a walk. You see some like soldiers fall in behind him. He shoots a little look over at some of the other senators, who kind of, give me an Insight check, actually.

0:26:57 Zac: Nat 1.

0:26:58 Siobhan: (quietly) Bad time.

0:26:59 Brennan: Cool. You take a walk, what was that, Siobhan?

0:27:02 Siobhan: It's a bad time to roll a nat 1.

0:27:05 Brennan: He takes a walk with you out on the ramparts and just goes,

0:27:06 Ciabatta: I must say, I am a little bit bashful. The might of Ceresia is second to none, and yet nobody tried to attack us on the road, or kill us in the middle of a grand tournament. It almost feels like hurtful to our feelings, no?

0:27:28 Lapin: Well, I do not envy the strength of Ceresia. How well do you know Alfredi?

0:27:46 Ciabatta: [slowly] I know Alfredi more than I would like, and I would say that most that know her know her more than they would like.

0:27:55 Lapin: Hmm.

0:27:56 Ciabatta: [quietly] She's going to be in the prison for at least this evening before the Pontifex can see her moved to a religious prison, correct?

0:28:11 Lapin: I would believe so.

0:28:14 Ciabatta: I have spoken already to our king with my suspicions that at the tournament, Sir Keradin Deeproot of Vegetania did not act alone. Your careful work, whatever it was, where I could not see has proven my suspicion accurate. If you wished to accompany me tonight, I think there are some mysteries we could solve together about our good friend, the Primogen Alfredi, who I do not think is exactly as she seems.

0:28:47 Zac: I think Lapin considers this, and how packed this day has been. (Ally and Emily laughing)

0:28:56 Murph: Just a big day.

0:28:57 Emily: Just tell him you had a really long day.

0:28:58 Siobhan: Lapin's big day.

0:29:02 Ally: Lapin's big day!

0:29:04 Lapin: I would appreciate that. We've been in a number of situations with very few answers lately, and to find some would be...

0:29:17 Ciabatta: In a city like Comida, the questions are many and the answers few. When an opportunity comes to strike, it's important to strike quick. I will send message to you by secret channels. We can meet... This little expedition I have planned cannot be conducted as a matter of state, you understand?

0:29:42 Lapin: Hmm.

0:29:43 Ciabatta: This would be, uh, a little bit of leg work.

0:29:48 Zac: I'm gonna use, well, can I use Illusory Script?

0:29:52 Brennan: Yeah, right now?

0:29:53 Zac: Yes. I want to just write a, umm...

0:30:06 Lapin: Please forgive me for being overly cautious in this moment, but I would love for whoever comes to find me to hand me this note.

0:30:13 Zac: And I write on it, and then with Illusory Script, write "for Candia," so that you, without having this, you wouldn't be able to read it, right?

0:30:31 Brennan: Yes, that's correct.

0:30:32 Zac: Okay. And so that would be invisible. So to the naked eye, I'll just write "Lapin" on it.

0:30:38 Brennan: You see he nods. He says,

0:30:39 Ciabatta: This will be your mark. I will deliver it. Bring as many of your cohort as you wish, although I would say bring those who can keep a low profile. I will be coming by myself.

0:30:57 Lapin: Wow.

0:30:58 Brennan: He smiles and says,

0:30:58 Ciabatta: Oh, you must understand, I'm not afraid of the thugs and criminals that populate the back alleys of Comida.

0:31:08 Zac: Can I get an Insight check on him?

0:31:09 Brennan: Yeah, give me an Insight check.

0:31:13 Zac: This dude just rule? Is that what's going on? 19.

0:31:17 Murph: Sometimes people just rule.

0:31:19 Brennan: Dude's got a lot of fuckin' swagger. Give me a History check, too.

0:31:27 Zac: Ooh, 24?

0:31:28 Brennan: 24. You would know this about Ciabatta. Ciabatta has been a senator for about four years. There's been only peace encountered over the past 20 years, but within Ceresia, there were some insurrections that crop up from time to time, so it wasn't a war across borders, but of a certain internecine like civil conflict that happened about five years ago. Ciabatta's a war hero. He's like a gladiator in the pits, he was like low-born, fought his way up through fighting pits, he joined the military, became a commander, and was able to win election to the senate purely by virtue of having been a war hero. So when he talks about like going alone, he means like, the bodyguards around me are not gonna be better at protecting me than I am.

0:32:20 Siobhan: Dude rules.

0:32:21 Zac: Dude rules.

0:32:21 Brennan: Dude rules.

0:32:23 Zac: I bow to the senator, and I guess make my way?

0:32:27 Brennan: Yeah, make your way back. Cool, Theo, you accompany the guard back.

0:32:32 Murph: I think I'm not looking to really do too much spying or anything like that. I think I just wanna make sure they don't get like intercepted by the--

0:32:40 Siobhan: Right, and Yak is flying over him, right?

0:32:41 Brennan: Correct.

0:32:43 Siobhan: So I can be in my bedroom just warging into Yak and seeing what's going on.

0:32:47 Brennan: Absolutely.

0:32:48 Murph: Yeah, so I just wanna kind of--

0:32:50 Siobhan: At least when you're outside.

0:32:51 Murph: Make sure that she actually gets delivered to a jail cell, and then--

0:32:54 Brennan: She goes back to the same imperial garrison with Keradin, put deep into a place, and they actually put some extra stuff on her, they put like finger locks and they bind her mouth, because they know she's a miracle worker.

0:33:06 Murph: Got it. Great.

0:33:08 Theobald: Good work, everyone. Everything seems to be in order.

0:33:11 Brennan: Grissini nods and looks a little bit sick. Cool.

0:33:16 Murph: I'll just rejoin these guys, I'll go back to the—

0:33:19 Brennan: Cruller arrives back first at your quarters.

0:33:23 Amethar: Cal.

0:33:24 Calroy: Your Majesty. How are you feeling?

0:33:28 Amethar: Like shit.

0:33:29 Calroy: I can imagine.

0:33:32 Amethar: When everyone's back, I'd like us all to talk.

0:33:35 Brennan: Quickly, you know, the rest of you guys, short walk with the senator and Theo comes back a moment or two later. You guys are all back in your quarters.

0:33:44 Lou: Fantastic.

0:33:46 Murph: We relay everything that happened.

0:33:50 Amethar: I'm sorry. What?

0:33:52 Lapin: And I was like—

0:33:55 Jet: You said what about the Bulb?

0:33:56 Lapin: I was like, “where's your Bulb now?”

0:33:58 Amethar: Oh!

0:33:59 Brennan: A bunch of Tartguard outside that shouldn't be listening all go,

0:34:01 Tartguard: Woo! (cast laughing)

0:34:04 Amethar: Yes, yes, Lapin!

0:34:06 Ruby: I can't believe everybody's cool.

0:34:07 Theobald: He was uncharacteristically rad.

0:34:10 Jet: I feel like you guys sheltered us from even yourselves.

0:34:13 Ruby: Yeah, why would you do that? Why would you not want our respect?

0:34:15 Liam: This guy's always been cool. I mean, come on.

0:34:19 Theobald: Liam knows.

0:34:22 Lou: Anyway. Can I- Who is in the room right now?

0:34:26 Brennan: The six of you, your pets, Cruller, and the Lady Donetta. Lord and Lady Swirlie are asking to attend as well.

0:34:36 Lou: I ask Lady Donetta if she would entertain the Swirlies. If she would entertain the Swirlies loudly one room over and make sure that there are no Tartguard listening in.

0:34:50 Brennan: She curtsies and bows, she leaves, so it's just the six of you guys, Cal, and I think the pets and that's it.

0:34:58 Siobhan: And I can maybe cast Prestidigitation to create like a musical effect near the doors-

0:35:02 Brennan: Cool.

0:35:05 Siobhan: -so that anybody who’s listening in is just-

0:35:07 Lou: Seems like we’re having a party.

0:35:08 Siobhan: -hearing music, yeah.

0:35:10 Calroy: Lovely.

0:35:11 Lapin: Yes, we're doing band practice. (cast laughing)

0:35:14 Ruby: Yes, and we have a family jam band. Playing some Sublime and other fun jam hits.

0:35:22 Brennan: So Cal says,

0:35:22 Calroy: Well, we're having a little meeting.

0:35:26 Brennan: He takes his hat off his little frosting head, and takes little meeting notes, and says,

0:35:33 Calroy: All right, so, (sighs) where are we at?

0:35:35 Ally: Cal is Cruller, right?

0:35:37 Brennan: Yes.

0:35:38 Lou: I take my crown off my head and like undo my cape. I take my sword off my back, I put it on a table or the floor or whatever. I look around, I say,

0:35:51 Amethar: As far as I'm concerned, this is a war council, and we are at war.

0:36:01 Liam: Really?

0:36:02 Amethar: It's a quiet war, and it is a war that is ours, it is not one that I mean to speak about publicly, but a direct attack has been made against me twice and foiled by you, [looks to Lapin and Liam] and I believe it is because I am the King of Candia. So as far as I'm concerned, someone is attacking me, and that is a declaration of war. We do not know who our enemy is, and thusly, we cannot trust as many people as I would like, and even I must acknowledge that now.

0:36:42 Jet: I couldn't agree more. This is definitely not peace.

0:36:47 Amethar: No.

0:36:48 Jet: Like everyone keeps telling us.

0:36:49 Liam: I know I don't have a military position, but—

0:36:53 Amethar: You're a seed guy.

0:36:53 Liam: Yeah, I'm a seed guy.

0:36:55 Calroy: Famously not a war guy.

0:36:55 Liam: I'm famously not a war guy.

0:36:58 Amethar: It's gotten around.

0:36:59 Liam: I'm really good at not being seen. I spend a very good amount of life not being seen. It's the thing I'm best at. I also speak Ceresian, I could go walk around tonight and I could try to eavesdrop— Amethar sighs deeply.

0:37:06 Ruby: Me too, I’m really sneaky.

0:37:14 Liam: -and I could try to see what I could see. [points at Ruby] Yes!

0:37:17 Ruby: Sneak squad.

0:37:20 Liam: Sneak squad!

0:37:21 Jet: I think that you are both like in danger, in active danger because of your magic.

0:37:28 Ruby: [cockily] Yeah, if they can spot us.

0:37:28 Liam: Yeah.

0:37:29 Jet: If you guys are going, I will be going as your Theobald.

0:37:33 Amethar: I am not comfortable with Liam going, as good as you are at stealth. Should you be caught, the amount of danger that you would be in—

0:37:41 Liam: Only magic could catch me, with how stealthy I could be.

0:37:43 Jet: There is a lot of magic out there.

0:37:44 Liam: I could Pass Without a Trace, and truly only magic would be able to find me, and it sounds like if everyone's so anti-magic, they're not using magic.

0:37:54 Lapin: They're anti one type of, other types of magic. There are people who command the magic of the Bulb, who have real magic.

0:37:58 Liam: I thought that was all bullshit.

0:38:03 Jet: I'm also starting to think that magic being illegal is just magic is illegal for the people that it is inconvenient for them to have it.

0:38:11 Ruby: Yeah. It's not fair.

0:38:12 Liam: Boom. Roasted.

0:38:14 Theobald: There are very powerful mages who share your theories.

0:38:18 Amethar: I'm excited to say this, because I haven't gotten to say it in a long time. War is not fair. Nothing will be fair going forward. That's why we must be ruthless.

0:38:36 Brennan: Cruller has a rueful smile, you see he gets lost in memory for a second, and goes,

0:38:40 Calroy: (sighs) For Candia.

0:38:47 Amethar: For Candia.

0:38:47 Jet: For Candia.

0:38:48 Emily: I'm wearing your crown now.

0:38:50 Jet: For Candia.

0:38:52 Siobhan: It's very big. It's around your waist. But it does look cool. Emily laughs and pretends to hula hoop.

0:38:58 Brennan: There is a knock at the door and one of the Tartguards speaks up.

0:39:03 Tartguard: There is a summons!

0:39:07 Amethar: ♪ Santeria, I ain’t got no crystal ball ♪ The cast laughs and joins in.

0:39:09 Brennan: Wait, we can't license it, we can't license it, we can't license it! ♪ I don't practice Candaria ♪

0:39:14 Emily: Okay!

0:39:17 All: [joins in singing] ♪ I don’t got no sugar ball ♪

0:39:20 Brennan: Wonderful. Fair use, there's a law. Importantly, you see that the Tartguard says,

0:39:27 Tartguard: [with pomp] Your Majesty, King Amethar of the House Rocks, first of his name! There has been word from the Concordant Emperor, the champions of the Grand Tournament have been summoned. Sir Theobald Gumbar of the Knights of North Gumbia, and the Count of Freezyberg as winners of the tournament--

0:39:48 Liam: [excited] I won!

0:39:48 Amethar: Wow.

0:39:49 Jet: No, this is bad.

0:39:52 Liam: Do you think I get a ribbon?

0:39:53 Jet: This is a trap.

0:39:54 Lapin: Theobald, I just had a question before we go forward.

0:40:01 Theobald: Good call.

0:40:02 Lapin: Have you thought about who you could possibly—

0:40:05 Theobald: Yes. I guess—

0:40:09 Jet: I won't be mad at you if it's me.

0:40:10 Murph: [laughs] I want to, I guess can we dismiss the messenger or whatever and go back to it just being us?

0:40:13 Brennan: Yeah.

0:40:16 Murph: So I can say this kind of privately.

0:40:19 Ally: [humming Santeria]

0:40:22 Theobald: My king, you would be my choice for emperor, but is there anyone else you want me to—

0:40:29 Zac: Is he not already nominated if, just generally, like—

0:40:31 Murph: No, right, but I could just not nominate anyone, and—

0:40:35 Brennan: It is a well-trodden thing that people send champions into the joust just to stop other people from nominating themselves.

0:40:43 Murph: Got it, right.

0:40:45 Amethar: I mean, at this point, as far as I'm concerned, we cannot trust anybody who's not from Fructera or the Meat Lands, so—

0:40:54 Jet: I don't even think that we should trust them.

0:40:56 Amethar: Those are the only two, I mean, I would argue I know exactly how the Meat Lands feel about me, and I know about how people from Fructera feel about me. Everywhere else is up for grabs.

0:41:08 Liam: Dairy Islands, maybe. Oh, you’re right...

0:41:10 Jet: Oh, no, the Dairy Islands are, as much as I—

0:41:14 Lapin: Is there anything to nominating your—

0:41:18 Liam: Preston.

0:41:20 Ruby: (gasps) King Preston!

0:41:21 Amethar: Okay.

0:41:22 Calroy: Emperor Preston, your highness, remember titles.

0:41:24 Lapin: Is there anything to nominating the person you fought today?

0:41:26 Murph: I’ve considered this.

0:41:29 Lapin: Just as a show of—

0:41:29 Ruby: Of faith?

0:41:32 Lapin: Just to help bolster.

0:41:35 Jet: That's an interesting maneuver.

0:41:37 Theobald: He might just... I don't know if that's a maneuver. If I were to do that, he likely might choose his daughter.

0:41:45 Amethar: I mean, but my question to that would be, and this is not, I'm not excited about being emperor, is how does the rest of Calorum feel about the possibility of, I mean, it almost feels like we shouldn't put Uvano in that situation, because I cannot imagine the rest of Calorum would be excited to see it continue, Fructera's reign continue—

0:42:12 Theobald: More dangerous for Fructera. Here is a question, my lord. What about the queen?

0:42:28 Amethar: I mean, she is good at statecraft in a way that I will never be.

0:42:39 Emily: Would I know if she would like that or not? Like, I mean, I'm her daughter.

0:42:44 Brennan: You know your mom. I mean, your mom is… You know, it's hard when you grow up knowing somebody and she's got so much biography that you were not present for, but you know that your mom has always been kind of spiteful to the outside world, and so much of her focus has been towards running Candia, sort of, and you have a lot of love for your dad, but Amethar is no king, and Caramelinda has basically occupied herself with making Candia as good as she can. If anything, your mom is probably weirdly more isolationist than your dad, because even though your dad, like, was only fighting wars, he at least saw the world and made friends from other kingdoms. Your mom, when she thinks of the outside world, thinks about what it took from her, and that's about it.

0:43:42 Jet: I've never seen much love in her for the rest of Calorum.

0:43:49 Theobald: And I don't suppose one of the princesses would want to be emperor right now, at 18 years old?

0:44:01 Amethar: No. No.

0:44:03 Jet: As much as I desperately want to right now, it's kind of my thing right now, I think it would be very ill-advised to tempt me with that.

0:44:10 Liam: What about my dad?

0:44:13 Amethar: No.

0:44:14 Brennan: You see Calroy's taking a little sip of cola and goes,

0:44:18 Calroy: [spittakes] [wipes mouth] Your father, who is in, let's be clear, open rebellion against the Concord—

0:44:21 Liam: Mmhmm. Mmhmm.

0:44:23 Calroy: The only reason he has not been captured by the Imperial Army and executed is because—

0:44:28 Amethar: He's fuckin' badass.

0:44:31 Calroy: I know—

0:44:31 Jet: Theobald—

0:44:31 Amethar: He's badass.

0:44:31 Calroy: I was there. He's incredible.

0:44:35 Amethar: A lot of us would die if we tried to—

0:44:37 Calroy: I saw him lift a Meat Lander off the ground with an underswing. It was incredible, did you see that? Over the wall.

0:44:42 Liam: Really?

0:44:43 Calroy: I think they were dead before they hit the bottom, but we can't tell.

0:44:46 Jet: Theobald, why not you?

0:44:49 Theobald: [baffled] Me? I, uh—

0:44:50 Jet: Yes. The emperor shouldn't be the flashiest sword, it should be the greatest shield.

0:45:00 Amethar: Oh. This is—

0:45:01 Theobald: Very poetic, but—

0:45:03 Amethar: I agree, beautifully put. Very wrong. (cast laughing)

0:45:08 Murph: Theobald I can't even imagine being royal, but then he hears that and he's like, “great tagline for my house.” And I think I take a moment and I go,

0:45:24 Theobald: Much like the Princess Ruby, I've had certain visions and inklings, and I believe that whatever I was meant to do, it was perhaps meant to help you get there. I don't think I'm to be emperor.

0:45:42 Ruby: What about Annabelle?

0:45:44 Theobald: We don't know anything about her.

0:45:45 Ruby: She seems really cool.

0:45:46 Theobald: She's definitely cool.

0:45:47 Amethar: I mean, that's like making the popular kid in school president of the school.

0:45:51 Ruby: Exactly, like it happens in every school.

0:45:52 Amethar: Do we really want to make her principal?

0:45:53 Jet: Yeah, do we really need to buff her college admission essay any more?

0:45:58 Amethar: Exactly. She's fine.

0:46:00 Jet: I don't think that we should invest too deeply in anyone from the Dairy Islands until we know more.

0:46:08 Amethar: Agreed.

0:46:09 Theobald: If we can only trust ourselves, then...

0:46:14 Brennan: Calroy thinks for a second, and you see he speaks up and says,

0:46:18 Calroy: These are all very interesting options. I think your point of order is very well taken, Jet, and I understand that you want your mother's well-being and happiness. I do think Caramelinda is the best suited for the Concordant Throne, but I wouldn't wish for the rest of her life to be doing something she didn't wish, nor for your family to have to live in Comida rather than where you've grown up. There-

0:46:47 Ruby: Well, we could live with Pops in Castle Candy.

0:46:51 Jet: Yeah, honestly it'd be nice to get her out of our hair.

0:46:53 Ruby: Right?

0:46:53 Jet: Right.

0:46:54 Calroy: I know, I hear that.

0:46:56 Brennan: You see he says,

0:46:56 Calroy: There is something interesting that might be worth playing a more conservative approach to this. Obviously, this is not who the emperor will be. This is submitting someone into the circle of consideration for the emperor, yes? This is not you getting to decide who the next emperor is, otherwise the emperor would never choose to be the winner of a joust. It is instead you making a formal recommendation and adding someone for legal acceptability, according to the laws of the Concord. If we wanted to play something very safe, I'm not saying that we should count on this, but if you were to name Amethar, there are certain protections that that provides in contingencies of the law within the Concord. For example, if the emperor were to declare that there are no fit successors, in which case it would move to a vote that would be administrated by the Pontifex and the Cornucopian Council would vote, your declaration as the winner of the joust actually does, strangely enough, count for a secured vote on the Cornucopian Council, which in the very unlikely event that Uvano says no one is fit, I'm just thinking of how much of a honeycomb the Concord actually is in terms of the nature of the treaty. So that's a less fun option, but a perhaps, safer one.

0:48:32 Theobald: You know how much I love safety, my lord. (Brennan laughing)

0:48:36 Jet: Theobald, nominate yourself, you deserve it.

0:48:38 Ruby: Yeah, sounds- You'd be good.

0:48:39 Theobald: All of a sudden you two like me, what is going on?

0:48:42 Ruby: Yeah, 'cause you're a badass now.

0:48:43 Theobald: This is strange.

0:48:44 Ruby: It's not strange, you're the one who's been hiding your coolness.

0:48:47 Lou: Did the emperor summon Liam?

0:48:48 Brennan: And Theo, they've been summoned.

0:48:50 Jet: I am highly concerned about Liam being summoned.

0:48:54 Ruby: Mm-hmm, yeah, me too. Can we all go?

0:48:56 Zac: Could I possibly go, well--

0:48:58 Brennan: None of you guys have been summoned. You're welcome to--

0:49:01 Ruby: Yeah, we're the royal family, we'll just go.

0:49:05 Theobald: If you all hang out nearby, I can leave Sprinkle with somebody and freak out, as it were.

0:49:12 Zac: Do I know what time it is? Like as far as like—

0:49:15 Brennan: It has just turned into evening.

0:49:18 Siobhan: Can we say we took a short rest in the time that--

0:49:20 Brennan: Yes, you've all taken a short rest.

0:49:21 Murph: Cool.

0:49:21 Lou: Great.

0:49:22 Siobhan: Great.

0:49:24 Zac: Do I know if… What time the senator—

0:49:31 Brennan: He didn't give you a time specifically. But he only knows you by your quarters. He only knows you by the Candian quarters in the Pyramid.

0:49:39 Theobald: So, shall we all head in that general direction, and I will take Liam in there, and if anything happens, I'll make sure—

0:49:46 Amethar: Yeah, and as a show of strength, I will be joining them, though I was stabbed earlier. (Brennan laughs)

0:49:54 Ally: Can I cast Pass Without a Trace on the whole party except for us two? [points to Murph]

0:49:58 Brennan: Oh, yeah.

0:49:59 Zac: Will you, just, before you do that, I might be, I told them about the senator, right?

0:50:08 Brennan: Okay, no, I don't think you have yet, so if you want to tell them now before these two get summoned.

0:50:12 Lapin: So before, when I left after we arrested Alfredi, Senator Ciabatta gave me the offer of accompanying him to find out more about what's going on, and said that I should just bring those who can keep a low profile. And that should happen later tonight, I'm trying to decide—

0:50:43 Ruby: Oh, well then--

0:50:44 Jet: I can certainly keep a low profile.

0:50:46 Ruby: I’ll stay. Yeah.

0:50:48 Emily: I suppose I'd like to ask Theobald and Amethar,

0:50:53 Jet: Where would my talents be best suited, defending Liam or defending—

0:51:00 Lou: Are they overlapping?

0:51:01 Brennan: It's possible that the senator could reach out at any moment. And he seemed to think it was a time-sensitive thing.

0:51:08 Siobhan: I'll stay with the Chancellor.

0:51:10 Emily: I believe that it will be easier for me to stay with the Chancellor. Amethar, I think can come and go with the emperor, but I think my presence wouldn't be as welcome.

0:51:21 Murph: All right.

0:51:22 Brennan: Cool. [points to Ally, Murph, and Lou] You three go for the emperor, [points to Emily, Siobhan, and Zac] you three stay with--

0:51:27 Siobhan: [to Ally] Can you cast Pass Without Trace on us?

0:51:29 Zac: How long does it last?

0:51:30 Emily: [to Murph] Do you wanna leave Sprinkle with me?

0:51:31 Murph: I think Sprinkle actually isn't gonna be super helpful.

0:51:32 Ally: Up to an hour.

0:51:34 Murph: Because it can't—

0:51:35 Ally: You get a plus 10 to Dex—

0:51:35 Emily: [crosstalk, to Murph] I meant, using, seeing through him, see what’s going on.

0:51:35 Murph: I think, it can only be done over a certain amount of feet.

0:51:35 Emily: Distance? [nods]

0:51:35 Ally: —for Stealth checks, and you can't be tracked except by magical means, you don't leave any trace.

0:51:40 Siobhan: It’s plus 10, right?

0:51:46 Brennan: I think you can hit all three of them, right?

0:51:49 Ally: I can even hit us, but we wanna be seen. So I can hit all three of you guys.

0:51:54 Murph: It wouldn't be a bad idea, if you can also hit us in case later we get into a situation where we need to hide or something. Wouldn't be a bad idea.

0:52:02 Ally: Yeah, can we go in and out of Pass Without a Trace?

0:52:04 Brennan: If you're not trying to hide, Pass Without a Trace doesn't do anything.

0:52:07 Ally: Great, I cast it on all six of us.

0:52:08 Murph: Sweet.

0:52:10 Ally: And Cruller.

0:52:12 Brennan: Yeah, Cruller, who's already a light-footed, debonair, roguish type, fuckin' vanishes in the middle of the room, and he goes,

0:52:21 Calroy: I will say, how do people not get behind magic? Because... (cast laughing)

0:52:26 Ruby: This is very cool.

0:52:27 Jet: The Candia of the future will have kindergartens full of it.

0:52:30 Calroy: Right. Kindergartens full of children that can disappear does concern me for, again, safety reasons.

0:52:36 Amethar: Come on, Cal, it's def cool.

0:52:39 Calroy: All right—

0:52:39 Amethar: That's cool.

0:52:40 Calroy: I waffle. Some days I'm on your side, some days I'm with Theo and Caramelinda, I'm a man of many faces, I have to be able to go where the wind takes me.

0:52:48 Amethar: And that's what I love about you.

0:52:49 Calroy: All right.

0:52:52 Brennan: Cal actually says,

0:52:52 Calroy: Should I remain here in the quarters posted up in case anything happens, or should I—

0:52:59 Theobald: That's not a bad idea.

0:52:59 Calroy: All right.

0:53:00 Theobald: Just in case someone tries to break in.

0:53:01 Calroy: I'll hold down the fort and make sure the Tartguard don't embarrass our nation.

0:53:05 Theobald: Yeah, you need to do that.

0:53:06 Brennan: You hear a noise of all of them dancing on the ramparts in a long line, like arms over shoulders, high-kick dancing.

0:53:11 Theobald: Your king was almost killed! Do a sadder dance! (cast laughing)

0:53:15 Brennan: "Do a sadder dance!"

0:53:15 Liam: You can still dance. Just pick a sadder one.

0:53:17 Brennan: Okay, awesome.

0:53:20 Ally: Oh, I cast it on Preston, I cast it on our animals as well.

0:53:23 Brennan: Cool, we follow Amethar, Liam, and Theo. You guys are escorted by some of the Targuard and the Imperial Guard up to the antechamber again, where you see, once again in resplendent finery, the Lady Uvano, who walks directly up to you, Theo, and says,

0:53:41 Plumbeline: Sir Theobald of Candia. I owe you the most sincere apology I can give.

0:53:53 Theobald: There's no apology necessary. I understand that emotions are high, and for something so significant to be decided in something like a joust is honestly a bit ridiculous. But it was an honor to compete against you.

0:54:10 Brennan: She extends a hand to you.

0:54:13 Murph: I kiss her hand.

0:54:15 Brennan: She nods and says,

0:54:21 Plumbeline: King Amethar, you may of course come inside if you wish, but I believe...

0:54:26 Brennan: And you see that there's another person posted up here as well, who's Annabelle Cheddar.

0:54:32 Murph: Okay.

0:54:34 Brennan: Annabelle nods to you and says,

0:54:37 Annabelle: Well, my fellow champions, how do you find yourselves?

0:54:40 Emily: Oh, she got it!

0:54:42 Brennan: She looks over to you and says,

0:54:44 Annabelle: Right, the Ceresian fellow ran out of the ring, disqualifying himself. Actually, everyone in the other ring left the ring before the match was called, so that's immediately disqualifying, and then…

0:54:51 Theobald: The bards will sing of your...

0:54:59 Annabelle: And then Grissini dropped his weapon, and the french fry did as well, which— Lou/Siobhan: And his pants.

0:55:05 Annabelle: And his pants, yeah.

0:55:07 Emily: [laughing] Bonathan.

0:55:10 Annabelle: And then the only other melee combatant that kept her weapon in her hand verbally conceded the match to me.

0:55:21 Amethar: A win's a win.

0:55:23 Emily: I’m glad I honored my alliance!

0:55:25 Annabelle: So, right, well, this is the most humiliating victory I've ever had. But you know, the Dairy Islands don't have much, so I'll take it. (cast laughing)

0:55:36 Theobald: It's no small prize. I'm sure the outcome would've been the same either way.

0:55:43 Emily: Hey.

0:55:45 Siobhan: You’re not there.

0:55:47 Emily: Shut up, this is me as Emily saying it.

0:55:51 Liam: So what made you refuse to get married?

0:55:53 Annabelle: Right, look, we're at court.

0:55:57 Liam: I just thought maybe, what?

0:56:01 Amethar: How- Look-

0:56:01 Liam: Who said- I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

0:56:03 Annabelle: Hi, I'm Annabelle. It's a pleasure to meet you. What's your favorite color, you daft little—

0:56:09 Liam: Oh, got it, got it, got it, sorry.

0:56:11 Annabelle: Hey, there's an order to these kind of like—

0:56:13 Theobald: Sincerely, on behalf of all of Candia—

0:56:15 Liam: I'm sorry, I thought I was picking up where we left off. (Emily laughing)

0:56:20 Annabelle: Where we left off was you were blasted out of your gourd on wine--

0:56:22 Liam: No--

0:56:24 Amethar: And I thought you were about to fuck the avocado lad.

0:56:26 Liam: I meant the- the- “we” as in all of us at the tournament.

0:56:33 Amethar: Where we left the tournament was we were almost murdered by an insane—

0:56:38 Ally: Can I make a Persuasion- Can I try to make up for this?

0:56:39 Brennan: Yeah, give me disadvantage—

0:56:42 Murph: [mournful] Oh, already got a 2! Which is a zero!

0:56:43 Brennan: Let's see if it's a 1.

0:56:45 Ally: Disadvantage what?

0:56:46 Brennan: Disadvantage to Charisma.

0:56:48 Murph: My lord.

0:56:48 Ally: Nat 20!

0:56:49 Emily: But you have disadvantage!

0:56:50 Brennan: [merciless] Doesn't matter.

0:56:50 Ally: No!

0:56:51 Murph: What’s your— (cast laughing)

0:56:53 Murph: A literal 0.

0:56:54 Brennan: A literal 0? A number not even on the die. She goes like,

0:56:59 Annabelle: Hey, look, I'm gonna be clear. There's something very deeply wrong with you.

0:57:05 Liam: What?!

0:57:06 Annabelle: I'm not saying anything that should come as a surprise.

0:57:09 Liam: I— no. I just—

0:57:09 Amethar: She's right.

0:57:10 Liam: Yeah?

0:57:10 Amethar: I mean, you have a lot.

0:57:13 Annabelle: Here's my question. I'm looking at you and I'm sizing you up.

0:57:16 Liam: Uh-huh.

0:57:17 Annabelle: As someone who knows that they're bad with people.

0:57:20 Liam: Yeah.

0:57:21 Annabelle: You know that about yourself, right?

0:57:22 Liam: I do.

0:57:23 Annabelle: And so knowing that about yourself, what most people would do, say hey, I'm not that charming, is they would tend to pipe down. You’ve walked into a room and just led with the loudest declaration of someone else's personal business.

0:57:35 Liam: You know, I just, I got spoiled, okay? I was left out for a large part of my life, I'm really on a hot streak right now. I've been included in almost everything that's come up around me. This has never happened to me before. So I'm just trying to ride that wave, okay, sister?

0:57:51 Theobald: You have to understand, there are a lot of turd siblings in his family.

0:57:56 Annabelle: I understand, look, every kingdom has their various, you know, exclaves, rebel lords, places that haven't paid their taxes to the Concord. You know, the Concord's only existed for 20 years, there's not unanimous, you know, something like 80 or 90% of Calorum has given over fealty, but just because you live outside of the borders of what we consider the civilized world, just, I don't know, it's just common courtesy.

0:58:26 Liam: What do you do? You read a book, you listen to someone speak about how to be good with people? What do you... Annabelle just looks at Liam.

0:58:32 Theobald: Count Liam, what are you...

0:58:38 Liam: I just, I'm looking for some practical pointers here, okay, people?

0:58:43 Annabelle: Right, in the future, start with, when you're meeting a person.

0:58:50 Liam: Uh-huh.

0:58:50 Annabelle: Pick one detail of something not on their body or how they look on their face, but of something maybe, either a piece of clothing or something they're holding, or maybe something they've worked on, and just look to give them one sincere compliment about something that again is not their physical characteristics.

0:59:10 Liam: Okay, I'll try. I'll try that.

0:59:12 Annabelle: So you see someone, either something they've done or something they have, and that's all fair game, all right? And just give one sincere compliment. And then, if that worked, you just cut it off there and bail.

0:59:22 Liam: Great.

0:59:23 Annabelle: All right, great.

0:59:23 Liam: Great.

0:59:25 Amethar: All right, let's go talk to the emperor. (cast laughing)

0:59:28 Emily: Before we do that, is Thad still in the alley?

0:59:32 Brennan: Do you wanna go check?

0:59:34 Emily: No.

0:59:34 Brennan: Okay. (laughs) Word is yeah, he's still in the alley. He has servants bringing him food and a chamber pot.

0:59:42 Murph: Oh no.

0:59:42 Siobhan: Oh no.

0:59:43 Emily: [laughing] A chamber pot!

0:59:43 Siobhan: [French accent] “Flush it away.”

0:59:46 Murph: A chamberpot for an avocado to shit in an alley.

0:59:50 Brennan: He's gonna have some good war buddies now that have watched him shit in the alley. You guys walk in and you are in the bedchamber of the Concordant Emperor, Gustavo Uvano. He looks up, he looks like he's been propped up on some pillows to be, he's not as vulnerable as he was the first night. He's propped up a little bit and goes, (somber piano music)

1:00:11 Gustavo: Ah, hello, my humble subjects. Captain Cheddar, Sir Theobald, and Count Jawbreaker.

1:00:21 Liam: Hello.

1:00:22 Murph: I kneel. I motion for Liam to also kneel.

1:00:24 Liam: Oh, right. I like your infrastructure. (cast cracks up)

1:00:32 Liam: I like the sturdy infrastructure you built there for your back.

1:00:35 Brennan: He looks at you. Give me a Charisma check, I'll say with advantage.

1:00:39 Ally: Advantage?!

1:00:39 Brennan: Advantage.

1:00:42 Ally: Hey, that's an 11 with my negative 2.

1:00:47 Brennan: He goes,

1:00:47 Gustavo: Ah, I would not have suspected that a young boy with a pig would have such an eye for infrastructure.

1:00:54 Liam: I certainly do.

1:00:56 Preston: [squeals]

1:00:57 Brennan: You see he says,

1:00:57 Gustavo: Very well. To those that are assembled here, first, the thing that does not require a choice of any sort. Congratulations to you, Count of Freezyburg, and you will have a seat on the Cornucopian Council for the reign of whoever is selected emperor. [looks meaningfully at Amethar]

1:01:11 Liam: Whoa.

1:01:25 Gustavo: And Captain Cheddar, you have won the melee, so you may ask for one boon of me.

1:01:36 Brennan: She looks up and says,

1:01:36 Annabelle: (sighs) I have two things that I dearly want, and one is for myself, and one is for the Dairy Islands. (looks down for a moment, thinking) I would ask the emperor's leave to request a favor from the Pontifex that, as a youth, the young ward Stilton Curdeau, swore some holy vows as he was a youngest son to enter the clergy, and his older brothers died at sea. I would ask that he be released from his vows so that he could wed his sweetheart, the Lady Primsy Coldbottle, Duchess of Lacramore.

1:02:11 Liam: [muffled scream]

1:02:46 Brennan: The emperor nods and says,

1:02:46 Gustavo: A release under these circumstances would be eminently reasonable.

1:02:55 Theobald: [furtively] [concerned] Umm. Umm, King Amethar, umm, Stilton Curdeau—

1:02:59 Liam: [loudly] [abruptly] I have a tummy ache!

1:03:00 Brennan: [not having it] You guys absolutely, if you do this shit in the room, this is like a quiet, somber—

1:03:04 Murph: Can I Message?

1:03:06 Lou: I know exactly-

1:03:07 Brennan: It is very somber, I will require a Deception check if you try to do a Message here.

1:03:11 Emily: Sprinkle can give you the help action.

1:03:13 Brennan: What are the components for Message again, real quick?

1:03:15 Murph: It is a cantrip.

1:03:16 Brennan: It’s verbal, somatic, and material. Which means that you would have to move your hands to be able to do it, which is gonna require a Deception check. (Murph sighs)

1:03:27 Lou: I give Theobald a knowing nod.

1:03:33 Murph: So I just look at him.

1:03:36 Brennan: [to Murph] He turns to you and says,

1:03:36 Gustavo: And the champion of the joust.

1:03:39 Brennan: He looks over at his daughter and says,

1:03:43 Gustavo: I understand that you unhorsed my daughter. I have never seen a skill that my daughter could not immediately pick up and become a master at. But it would not be fair for the Bulb to give her every gift at the peak of its proficiency, so, I will not hold it against you that you have defeated my daughter.

1:04:13 Brennan: He looks at you and says,

1:04:13 Gustavo: And Sir Theobald Gumbar, you as the winner of the joust have the ability to name someone you wish for me to consider, be they high or lowborn.

1:04:30 Theobald: (sighs) Emperor, I don't want to embarrass him, so I'm gonna be as casual about this as I can. (unfurls scroll) To be clear, Murph has unrolled a literal scroll to read off of. Seeing this, Zac drops his pen to cover his face. (cast laughing)

1:04:41 Theobald: I nominate the good King Amethar of House Rocks, first of his name, sovereign ruler of Candia and the Sugar Lands, Duke of Cookieshire, Protector of the Realm and Defender of the Faith, Bannerman of the Battle of Gumdrop Pass and Hero of Frosting Valley, the Unfallen, yet again.

1:04:49 Amethar: (interrupting Theobald at various points) I’m— I’m in the room. Oh… I’m right here. What’s the point? I’ve seen you shit and piss— (defeated) Okay. (sighs)

1:04:57 Murph: I bow. (cast laughing)

1:05:00 Brennan: You fucking had a scroll! You see that the emperor looks at you and says...

1:05:13 Gustavo: (sighs) A powerful nomination. I can see that indeed Candia's honor is strong. I will have to take your nomination into very serious consideration.

1:05:26 Theobald: Thank you, my lord.

1:05:28 Brennan: He looks at you and he says,

1:05:28 Gustavo: Champions, you are dismissed.

1:05:38 Brennan: As you guys get up to leave, he looks at you, Amethar, and says,

1:05:43 Gustavo: Amethar, a word?

1:05:46 Amethar: Oh, of course.

1:05:49 Brennan: You guys step out, Annabelle steps out with you. Looks at you, sort of nods knowingly at you and claps you on the shoulder and says,

1:05:57 Annabelle: Well, the council will benefit from your wisdom for many long years to come.

1:06:02 Liam: Thanks. And thanks for the pointer, I think it really worked.

1:06:05 Annabelle: I actually think it kinda did.

1:06:07 Liam: Yeah. That felt good.

1:06:09 Annabelle: Yeah. Right?

1:06:10 Theobald: Infrastructure, that was pretty good.

1:06:12 Liam: Can I ask you something about Primsy? I didn't know that she had someone that she was romantically into.

1:06:19 Annabelle: (sighs) Aye, she did, aye, that she did. She's had her sweet heart set on the young Stilton Curdeau, who has wooed her very powerfully since she was I would say quite a younger maiden than she is now, but… He had this sort of religious vow that he had taken, he was promised to the clergy, and so he promised purity and celibacy when he was a very young lad, and when he became heir, it became an impediment, and so they couldn't declare formal courtship, they couldn't declare, Primsy couldn't be promised, and there were other suitors that Primsy had to turn away because—

1:07:01 Theobald: So this is sort of a way for the Bulbian Church to get into politics more directly.

1:07:09 Annabelle: I don't know if you've noticed, but they're pretty involved as it stands.

1:07:13 Theobald: More so, then.

1:07:16 Annabelle: Aye, I suppose so. You could say that.

1:07:18 Theobald: And you're close with Stilton Curdeau?

1:07:22 Annabelle: Who, myself?

1:07:22 Theobald: Yeah.

1:07:23 Annabelle: No, he's a little ponce. Don't care for the lad, but he makes Primsy happy.

1:07:29 Theobald: Do you care about Primsy?

1:07:34 Brennan: Give me a Charisma check with disadvantage.

1:07:41 Murph: So bad. 2?

1:07:44 Brennan: She is still for a moment, steps into your personal space and says,

1:07:48 Annabelle: [quietly] We're not on a fuckin' chariot right now. You're not gonna unhorse me like you did the Lady Plumbeline, you understand? You call my honor into question again, or my loyalty to my duchess, and it won't be words we share, Sir Theobald. Have I made myself clear?

1:08:05 Theobald: [quietly] Crystal.

1:08:06 Brennan: She whips around with her captain's coat and walks away down the hall.

1:08:10 Liam: So she's in love with Primsy. Murph immediately pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. (Brennan laughing)

1:08:16 Brennan: We are going to go into the chambers of the emperor. You see that Lady Plumbeline's sort of sitting looking, sort of smiling, not a weak smile, but sort of like a tired smile at her father. You see that Gustavo looks at you and says,

1:08:37 Gustavo: Amethar. You know the last thing I would have wished to do would be to make you unhappy. But I have thought about it a long time, and I do not think such a powerful, formal declaration of your candidacy can go unrewarded.

1:08:57 Amethar: Do not, I swear. I mean, I guess he just had that scroll on him at all times? I mean, it was actually kinda cute.

1:09:07 Gustavo: Amethar. It's you. I am going to name you the emperor.

1:09:16 Amethar: (sighs) God. I mean, I guess if they try and kill you twice, and you live both times.

1:09:23 Gustavo: That's what I'm saying. Why not have an invincible emperor?

1:09:28 Amethar: (laughs) I mean, I only have to do it for 20 years? Or no, this is ending because you're, you know. (cast laughing)

1:09:37 Gustavo: Oh yes, I'm dying.

1:09:37 Amethar: Dying, yeah.

1:09:39 Gustavo: It could be longer than, you still get sick, I guess is the—

1:09:45 Amethar: Am I allowed to call it? Like if I'm like, I don't know, if I get, I don't know.

1:09:49 Gustavo: For you, no. In fact, I'm going to amend the—

1:09:52 Amethar: Don't do that! Don't do that.

1:09:54 Brennan: You see he coughs a little bit. You see he looks at Plumbeline and says,

1:09:57 Gustavo: (sighs) Go and fetch the papers of records. I'm going to declare Amethar.

1:10:11 Brennan: She looks and says,

1:10:11 Plumbeline: Father, the Pontifex is holding onto the papers at the moment. Should I disturb her?

1:10:19 Brennan: You see he says,

1:10:19 Gustavo: Yes, go ahead and disturb her. Amethar, you are the right choice and you know it.

1:10:31 Amethar: Oh, I mean, fine. Fine, I mean, you're a smart guy. If you think it's me. If my wife thinks it's me. If Theobald is gonna write my big old list of titles, it's gonna be me.

1:10:52 Brennan: So he says,

1:10:52 Gustavo: Caramelinda asked for this? I did not know that, we should have done it much sooner, I do not like to keep that woman waiting.

1:11:00 Amethar: [laughs] I mean, I'll tell you, I got all excited about the tournament, I didn't realize that you were gonna ask me for all this. I broke a chandelier, she was mad.

1:11:11 Gustavo: I believe it. I believe it.

1:11:13 Amethar: Hey, do I get to pick my council? Like the rest of the Cornucopian Coun-?

1:11:23 Gustavo: The Cornucopian Council is the heads of state.

1:11:29 Amethar: Oh.

1:11:32 Gustavo: And whoever you select, so you may select who you wish on the Cornucopian Council.

1:11:36 Amethar: Would Plumbelina be open to—

1:11:39 Brennan: Plumbeline looks over at you, and tears up a little bit. She looks at her father, and looks at you and says,

1:11:47 Plumbeline: I would be more honored than I can say.

1:11:50 Amethar: Well, I mean, you gotta be there.

1:11:54 Brennan: Gustavo winks at his daughter and says,

1:12:00 Gustavo: Amethar, thank you.

1:12:03 Amethar: It would be stupid not to.

1:12:07 Brennan: And you take your leave of the emperor. So, we are going to go back to the Candian quarters here at the Great Food Pyramid. As you guys are preparing, or waiting to hear something, you hear a knock at the door, and the Tartguard asks for permission to enter.

1:12:32 Lapin: Who specifically is in here?

1:12:34 Brennan: You hear a voice outside.

1:12:36 Onionpatch: Very sorry, sir, this is the Archbishop Oliver Onionpatch on behalf of her Holiness, the Hierophant Rex? You know, Belizabeth Brassica, the Pontifex?

1:12:50 Lapin: Yes.

1:12:53 Zac: Can I make an Insight check?

1:12:54 Brennan: Sure, go for it.

1:12:56 Zac: Anyone wanna help me?

1:12:58 Emily: Yeah, I’ll give the help action.

1:13:01 Siobhan: [softly] Nice.

1:13:02 Zac: That would be a 25.

1:13:06 Brennan: Seems legit.

1:13:06 Zac: Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna open the door.

1:13:10 Brennan: You see a little purple onion-headed man comes in, Vegetanian, says,

1:13:15 Onionpatch: Greetings. Oh, my dear young princesses, I was horrified to see what happened to your father at the tournament match.

1:13:26 Jet: You mean the attempted assassination.

1:13:28 Onionpatch: Yes, of course. I could refer to nothing else.

1:13:31 Ruby: [politely] Candia thanks you for your concern.

1:13:34 Brennan: He nods and smiles.

1:13:35 Jet: [whispering] Very diplomatic.

1:13:35 Ruby: [whispering back] Right?

1:13:35 Brennan: He says,

1:13:35 Onionpatch: Your presence is requested immediately at the Pontifex's chambers at the cathedral.

1:13:48 Jet: We are happy to escort him.

1:13:52 Lapin: Could you give us a moment?

1:13:54 Onionpatch: Absolutely.

1:13:54 Jet: We are happy to take a moment.

1:13:56 Brennan: You see that he closes the door.

1:14:00 Lapin: Senator Ciabatta might come by while I'm gone.

1:14:04 Jet: You want us to stay here?

1:14:07 Lapin: I'm trying to--

1:14:08 Jet: I don't trust you with the Pontifex.

1:14:11 Lapin: I don't--

1:14:12 Jet: The Pontifex seemed pretty chummy with the Lady Alfredi.

1:14:23 Lapin: She may or may not be trustworthy, but I feel as though...

1:14:29 Brennan: Calroy speaks up and says,

1:14:29 Calroy: Let's be very clear. If Primogen doesn't attend a summons of the Pontifex, there is no telling what happens.

1:14:40 Jet: I understand, I'm merely wondering if we should attend him.

1:14:46 Ruby: Why don't you go to the Pontifex, and we will go...

1:14:54 Lapin: Calroy.

1:14:56 Ruby: With Grissini.

1:14:57 Lapin: That's what I was thinking, but I was just...

1:14:59 Ruby: Or one of us can go with you, and the other could go...

1:15:02 Brennan: Calroy looks and says,

1:15:02 Calroy: I will be very honest, I think that the Chancellor can handle himself. I'm not concerned about Lapin. It looks very strange for a Primogen to walk with escort in the streets of Comida to attend a summons by her Holiness.

1:15:27 Ruby: We live in strange times.

1:15:29 Calroy: We do live in strange times, let's not make them any stranger.

1:15:33 Ruby: All right.

1:15:37 Lapin: I feel as though I should go, but if the Senator Ciabatta comes by, I guess it makes the most sense for you three to go.

1:15:50 Brennan: He says,

1:15:50 Calroy: Well I'm going to stay here, but yes, that's a wise choice.

1:15:55 Lapin: Okay.

1:15:57 Siobhan: And you've told us about the note, right?

1:15:59 Zac: Yes, but I don't know that you can do it without me. Do you have Illusory Script?

1:16:06 Jet: I'm a little bit psychic. (cast laughing)

1:16:09 Lapin: Hmm, yes.

1:16:10 Siobhan: I don't have Illusory, umm.

1:16:13 Zac: Wait, you and any creatures you designate.

1:16:16 Siobhan: Oh, right.

1:16:16 Zac: When you cast the spell. So I feel like I would've--

1:16:22 Brennan: Would you have designated them?

1:16:24 Zac: I think I would have, yeah.

1:16:25 Brennan: If you want to give me a flat DC 15 Intelligence check to see if you would have thought to designate other people in case something like this came up, go for it.

1:16:33 Zac: 15.

1:16:34 Brennan: Hell yeah, great. You thought at that time, retcon action, you were like, in case anything comes up for the rest of the day, I'll make it readable by my allies. Awesome. You head off with Oliver, and the two princesses remain.

1:16:53 Jet: Do you ever feel like everyone wants us to take authority someday, but then they still treat us like such children?

1:17:00 Ruby: I think that maybe they're treating us like such children 'cause we've been acting like such children.

1:17:05 Jet: I know, but that's why I've tried to step it up and act more mature. I just thought it would change in like one day.

1:17:11 Zac: I’m gone.

1:17:11 Brennan: You're gone. You see Calroy looks over and says,

1:17:17 Calroy: I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear.

1:17:19 Brennan: Oh, you guys were doing twinspeak?

1:17:20 Emily: No, we— (indistinct)

1:17:21 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:17:22 Brennan: You see he looks over at you and says,

1:17:26 Calroy: [sighs] I agree, we do treat you like children. Classic child treating, to let the two princesses go on a covert mission with the head of state of a rival kingdom. Exactly the lack of responsibility—

1:17:38 Jet: Okay, you're right. Mainly I was responding, I thought like I would be a really good escort and look really buff alongside the Primogen.

1:17:46 Ruby: I think— That's the childish response, 'cause you wanted to do it 'cause you wanted to look buff.

1:17:50 Jet: Jesus Christ, can I have a fuckin' day off of people telling me I'm fuckin' wrong? (cast laughing)

1:17:53 Ruby: You're cool! You know I think you're cool.

1:17:56 Emily: I just joust the wall. (cast laughing)

1:18:01 Brennan: A knock comes on the door, and a Tartguard holds a piece of parchment that says "Lapin" on it, and you see underneath, there is a small symbol of a bakery, and underneath the name Lapin is a script that only you two can read that says "for Candia."

1:18:24 Ruby: We will come with you.

1:18:24 Jet: Yeah.

1:18:27 Brennan: Lovely.

1:18:29 Siobhan: Who is this person?

1:18:31 Emily: Yeah, I think we should introduce ourselves.

1:18:32 Siobhan: It's Ciabatta?

1:18:33 Brennan: Oh, this is a Tartguard.

1:18:34 Siobhan: It's a Tartguard, oh.

1:18:35 Brennan: And it's just a sign of a bakery, and you recognize the sign of the bakery.

1:18:36 Emily: Oh, okay.

1:18:37 Brennan: It's in Comida.

1:18:42 Siobhan: Oh, great. Great, can we put on our peasant clothes?

1:18:46 Brennan: You absolutely can.

1:18:46 Siobhan: Great.

1:18:48 Brennan: Go ahead and give me some Stealth checks.

1:18:50 Siobhan: Great, and we add plus 10?

1:18:50 Emily: And we add 10, right?

1:18:52 Brennan: Plus 10, that's correct.

1:18:55 Emily: 28.

1:18:56 Siobhan: Oh, sorry, that's a d12. I got a 39. Brennan sputters a laugh.

1:19:02 Siobhan: I think that passes. How without trace am I?

1:19:05 Brennan: You are extremely without trace.

1:19:08 Zac: 39?

1:19:09 Siobhan: Yeah, plus 10, I have, oh, I'm so sorry, it's only 36.

1:19:17 Brennan: Oh, good, good good good.

1:19:18 Ally: Now everyone sees you.

1:19:20 Brennan: So you guys arrive at the bakery. Go ahead and give me a Perception check, if you'd be so kind.

1:19:28 Siobhan: A nat 20.

1:19:31 Brennan: Hidden in the shadows is a Ceresian peasant who's like by the alley, looks like a tall loaf of bread dressed in peasant's clothes. With a nat 20, you see underneath the little peasant's garb, tucked into a rope belt, are two incredibly wrought Ceresian gladius swords.

1:19:58 Ruby: Hail and well met, fellow peasant.

1:20:01 Ciabatta: Ah, of course, hail and well met, fellow peasants.

1:20:03 Jet: Hmm, yes, just taking a walk to (breathes in) shit outside. (cast laughing)

1:20:09 Ruby: [starts saying something] What?

1:20:10 Ciabatta: What?

1:20:11 Ally: [laughing] What?! What!

1:20:14 Brennan: You see he looks at you and says,

1:20:14 Ciabatta: Do you—

1:20:16 Jet: I'll be more discreet. I'll just shut the fuck up.

1:20:19 Ciabatta: Depending on how well this goes, perhaps we can watch each other shit. (cast laughing)

1:20:24 Ally: The avocado uses a bedpan, but you're just going outside to shit?

1:20:30 Brennan: You see Senator Ciabatta in his peasant's clothes, unarmored but with these weapons still. He goes,

1:20:36 Ciabatta: Follow me.

1:20:36 Brennan: And pulls a hood up over his big loaf head and fuckin' heads off into the night with you. You guys get to a palazzo, a little Ceresian palazzo, outside of the Great Pyramid. It looks like it's abandoned, there's actually a lock on this iron gate out front, this like, fruit iron gate. And you get to a little lock there, and you see that the good senator looks at you and says,

1:21:09 Ciabatta: Through or over, ladies' choice.

1:21:12 Jet: I'd say through.

1:21:13 Ruby: Yeah, I can pick this lock maybe.

1:21:15 Jet: The two of us together, yeah.

1:21:16 Brennan: This is gonna be a DC 25 Sleight of Hand.

1:21:20 Siobhan: 25? Well, I'm gonna take a little help action from my beautiful falcon.

1:21:23 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:21:25 Siobhan: And I have plus 7. Wait, it's Sleight of Hand or thieves' tools?

1:21:31 Brennan: Oh, thieves' tools.

1:21:32 Siobhan: Great. That's actually lower, my Sleight of Hand is high, can I use Sleight of Hand? Yeah, I got, oh, I got a 24.

1:21:42 Brennan: Ooh, brutal.

1:21:43 Siobhan: Over it is.

1:21:45 Brennan: Cool. Go ahead and give me some Acrobatics checks.

1:21:47 Siobhan: Great. And I'm gonna take the help action again. Oh.

1:21:52 Emily: 29.

1:21:53 Siobhan: I have 17.

1:21:56 Brennan: 29, 17, cool. You see that you guys and the good senator make it over the wall and begin to sneak through this little courtyard, this little like, there's some Ceresian trees and stuff in here, and there's a lot of like mystical, there's like Bulbian stuff, but it's like weird, gnostic, mystical Bulbian stuff, it's like ooh, this is like weird ceremonial, the groovy spiritual side of the Bulbian Church.

1:22:23 Emily: Hmm. Okay.

1:22:25 Brennan: As you begin to move through here, you guys get into this chamber, it looks abandoned, it looks like the grass has grown up in here, it looks like it's been abandoned for some time. You get into the chamber a little bit. You walk around a corner. Out of the shadows, a bread person, like a loaf person, steps out, and Ciabatta drops down, leaps up, and slits his throat, and he falls to the ground dead. Jet and Ruby look shocked.

1:22:55 Brennan: Puts it back,

1:22:55 Ciabatta: Shh. Ruby puts a finger to her lips.

1:22:59 Ciabatta: (quietly) Yeah, this is what I thought. This is the good Primogen's secret, shall we say domicile? Or perhaps something more.

1:23:09 Brennan: And he begins to sneak up the stairs.

1:23:12 Emily: I just wanna like, quickly grab an ID or something out of a pocket of that—

1:23:16 Brennan: Give me an Investigation check.

1:23:19 Emily: 16.

1:23:21 Brennan: You look at him, he's not wearing either Imperial or Ceresian colors. Looks like just a Ceresian warrior, maybe like a gladiator or a mercenary, something like that.

1:23:30 Siobhan: Can I do like a History, or maybe an Arcana check on this gnostic shit?

1:23:36 Brennan: Yeah, go for it, give me Arcana.

1:23:38 Siobhan: Great. 15, 16?

1:23:43 Brennan: This is bullshit. You're looking at it, you know enough about the stuff to be like, these are from different faiths. Like the Bulbian Church has been around in some capacity or other for a long time. It's been over 1000 years that some form of this church has existed, and a lot of the relics here are, you immediately clock as like, these don't line up into a cogent, like, cosmology or theology. These are just things that look pretty.

1:24:15 Ruby: This is all fake.

1:24:16 Jet: I'm not surprised.

1:24:16 Ruby: Yeah.

1:24:18 Jet: [whispering] This guy was probably a little bit innocent, but let's just play along.

1:24:22 Ruby: [whispering] Okay.

1:24:22 Jet: Okay.

1:24:24 Brennan: You get to the top of the stairs, and you see Ciabatta opens a door, and you walk inside, and you see the good senator and head of state of Ceresia turns a hooded lantern so that its light, he puts it on the ground, turns it so that its light is just hitting a back wall, shining like away from windows, so it's like no one can see it from outside. Just lights the floor up, and you guys see you are in an alchemical laboratory.

1:24:56 Emily: I knew it.

1:24:59 Brennan: Go ahead and give me, you can give me Arcana, you can give me, Investigation and Arcana is what you guys can give, or if you want to give me another skill check, and give me one too.

1:25:08 Siobhan: And can I still get the help action from Yak?

1:25:10 Brennan: Yes you can.

1:25:10 Siobhan: Great.

1:25:11 Brennan: [to Emily] Ciabatta's gonna give you the help action.

1:25:13 Emily: Oh, yay, I get to roll with advantage!

1:25:15 Siobhan: I got a 19.

1:25:16 Emily: I got 9 twice. (cast laughing)

1:25:18 Emily: My life.

1:25:19 Brennan: What skill are you using?

1:25:20 Siobhan: Arcana.

1:25:22 Brennan: You look around, you see… Water, pure water. (Siobhan gasps)

1:25:33 Brennan: And you see, as you go to it, Ciabatta actually reaches out and like stops your hand as you're like reaching to touch it and looks at it. You see he puts out a finger, touches it, and his finger swells up and gets soggy, and he shakes it a little bit, he's like,

1:25:48 Ciabatta: Deadly for anybody, especially for Candians. I would not—

1:25:53 Emily: Can I search around and see if there's any other kinda deadly things, like mold or fruit flies or anything?

1:25:59 Brennan: Give me an Investigation.

1:26:02 Emily: 16.

1:26:03 Brennan: Yeah, you find mold. Stoppered up. Shit that like, this is like finding like weapons-grade chemical bio-agent stuff, like mold, rot, weird bad shit.

1:26:15 Ruby: This is crazy, she just has this weapons cache?

1:26:21 Jet: What is your take on this, Ciabatta? Is this what you anticipated to find?

1:26:26 Brennan: He smiles, looks at you and says,

1:26:30 Ciabatta: I do not mean to speak profanity or blasphemy.

1:26:38 Ruby: Oh, it's fine, we're grownups.

1:26:39 Jet: Yeah, I have a lot of banned books.

1:26:41 Ciabatta: Perhaps I shall sound a little bit unpious.

1:26:44 Brennan: And he takes a small tincture, unscrews it, and goes,

1:26:49 Ciabatta: But in this world, there are no miracles.

1:26:52 Brennan: Drops them into his eyes, and his eyes glow white. He takes it, tosses it over to the side, it breaks, kinda glows a little bit. He says,

1:27:00 Ciabatta: I wonder how long this will last for, maybe an hour, maybe two hours. Our dear friend the Primogen Alfredi is a humbug. Not a true miracle worker, I'm so sad to say. Exactly as I expected.

1:27:21 Siobhan: What did he just put in his eyes?

1:27:22 Emily: The thing that she puts, 'cause she had those glowy eyes.

1:27:25 Siobhan: Oh, right, yeah.

1:27:26 Brennan: She had like glowing eyes, and he just put it in his eyes, and with your other roll, you recognize it, it's alchemical, it's a trick, it's a fuckin' illusion.

1:27:35 Emily: I want to look around for any insignia or seals from any Dairy Islands.

1:27:43 Brennan: You look at schematics that she had here for crafting daggers, and you see there, actually, this time I need an Investigation check for it. He's gonna give you another help action, I need a DC 15 on this one.

1:27:57 Siobhan: Yeah, I got it.

1:27:58 Emily: Investigation?

1:27:58 Siobhan: Yeah. I got a 17.

1:28:04 Brennan: You got a 17?

1:28:04 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:28:06 Brennan: You pull up documents, you hold them up to Jet, you're looking at them. Do either of you speak Lacra?

1:28:13 Siobhan: I do.

1:28:14 Brennan: It's written in Lacra, and it is instructions for milk silk. And it's instructions for milk silk, and you see that it is written in a dialect of Lacra that's very hard for you to understand. You speak Fructerano as well.

1:28:30 Siobhan: Yes.

1:28:31 Brennan: It's like a weird mix of Fructerano and Lacra. You know that some islands in the far west of the Dairy Islands get closer to the edges of Pulp Bay.

1:28:39 Siobhan: Like the Yogurt Shoals over here?

1:28:40 Brennan: Like Yogurt Shoals, places like that. Either of you guys can give me a History check, DC 15.

1:28:44 Ally: [quietly] Wow, fuck.

1:28:45 Emily: Do I get help action from my dude?

1:28:48 Brennan: Yes, you do.

1:28:50 Siobhan: Yeah. History?

1:28:52 Emily: I got a 19.

1:28:52 Siobhan: 16.

1:28:53 Brennan: 16. You recognize, yeah. Yogurt Shoals, their Lacra has a lot of Fructerano in it. Yogurt Shoals is what this hand is written in about how you make milk silk, and it's a direct alchemical one to one for whatever this water steel was. Like the process they use to make this is what was used to make these water daggers, right? Yogurt Shoals, you know, is the home of House Bleu. House Bleu—

1:29:25 Siobhan: Mon dieu!

1:29:28 Brennan: [laughs] Mon dieu indeed. House Bleu has a very young heir who until earlier this evening could not be wed. Stilton Curdeau is Lord Bleu.

1:29:44 Siobhan: Merde.

1:29:45 Emily: She was working with some Dairy rebels.

1:29:49 Siobhan: Stilton and Cheddar?

1:29:53 Brennan: He nods. He makes an Investigation check.

1:29:57 Emily: I knew she was too, Alfredo.

1:29:59 Siobhan: Mm.

1:30:01 Brennan: There you go. Go ahead, guys, and give me a Perception check, if you'd be so kind.

1:30:11 Siobhan: 21.

1:30:13 Brennan: You notice Ciabatta is letting you, he'd been helping you where to look, he finds a shelf of stuff and begins rifling through it and pulling stuff and shoving it into a sack.

1:30:24 Emily: All right.

1:30:25 Brennan: He goes over, he find something, a bunch of stuff, rolls it up, puts it into the lantern, covers it as it burns, it just burns a bunch of the papers.

1:30:33 Siobhan: I would like to take some of this stuff as well so that we also have proof of this stuff. I don't trust him to just—

1:30:38 Emily: Yes, I think we need some proof, but I also think we should destroy, I don't-

1:30:40 Jet: Ciabatta, how do we destroy like this mold and this water?

1:30:45 Ruby: I think that that's very dangerous for us to do. I think that it's—

1:30:48 Brennan: He looks at you and says,

1:30:48 Ciabatta: There will be an anonymous informant to the Imperial Guard tomorrow.

1:30:54 Jet: Okay.

1:30:55 Ciabatta: Imperial alchemists will come and safely dispose of this poisonous material.

1:30:59 Jet: Okay.

1:31:00 Ciabatta: Alfredi was not a miracle worker, nor was she even truly a Primogen, I believe. She was a very competent liar who knew how to flatter the right people. (sighs) I will say this. There is something very bad here.

1:31:16 Brennan: Go ahead, each of you guys, and give me one last, what check am I gonna ask for? You can give me Perception or Investigation, whichever you prefer.

1:31:26 Emily: Okay, a 0 or a 1. 18?

1:31:33 Siobhan: I got a 14.

1:31:33 Brennan: Cool. With an 18, you see Ciabatta says,

1:31:38 Ciabatta: Alfredi was a master at the ancient Ceresian art of collecting secrets. She had a lot of dirt on a lot of people.

1:31:50 Ruby: Blackmail.

1:31:51 Ciabatta: That is correct. This room is full of information about the crimes people have done. The ability to destroy careers, to destroy lines and legacies. To unmake people.

1:32:06 Jet: I think that we should collect all that information.

1:32:11 Brennan: He looks and says, and he gets sort of somber for a second and he says,

1:32:14 Ciabatta: My homeland is full of honest and decent people. I know the notion of Ceresians are not popular. That our peoples were at war for a long time. In the times in history that Ceresia has allowed itself to be overcome by flatterers and liars, and people who wheel and deal in secrets, the honesty and decency of the common Ceresian has been made a laughingstock. Ceresians need not a panel of liars and whisperers. They need a strong man, honest and decent man.

1:33:06 Ruby: Or woman.

1:33:07 Ciabatta: Or a woman. Or—

1:33:10 Jet: Or a piece of spaghetti.

1:33:11 Ciabatta: Well, probably that either way, but yes. But a man, a woman, a person that defies conventional categorization, that's all, all good. (makes a double-handed salute) (cast laughing)

1:33:24 Brennan: You see he looks and says--

1:33:25 Siobhan: Can I do an Insight check for sarcasm? (cast laughing)

1:33:30 Brennan: You see he looks and says,

1:33:30 Ciabatta: Well it looks like this fiber at least has been pulled from the nest.

1:33:40 Brennan: And he pats the satchel full of documents.

1:33:46 Emily: And all those documents are all the blackmail and stuff.

1:33:48 Brennan: He looks around and says,

1:33:48 Ciabatta: No. It is not all the blackmail. It is just the blackmail that was keeping Ceresia from being free.

1:34:03 Emily: All right, I gotta look around for the Candia blackmail.

1:34:06 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:34:06 Emily: If there is any.

1:34:07 Siobhan: Absolutely.

1:34:08 Brennan: You see that Ciabatta looks at you guys and says,

1:34:15 Ciabatta: There is the body outside, and—

1:34:19 Jet: [quietly] That guy was innocent, right?

1:34:21 Ciabatta: No, he was hired, he was a mercenary. He was sent here to guard this place.

1:34:25 Jet: An innocent mercenary.

1:34:26 Ciabatta: There is no such thing.

1:34:27 Jet: Okay.

1:34:29 Brennan: You see he looks at you guys and says,

1:34:34 Ciabatta: You wish to find Candian blackmail.

1:34:38 Brennan: He's gonna give you another help action as you guys investigate. Go ahead and give me an Investigation check.

1:34:42 Emily: 20.

1:34:43 Brennan: 20?

1:34:43 Emily: Not nat.

1:34:44 Brennan: Not nat. You don't find any Candian stuff here. Doesn't appear to be any Candian blackmail at all. What you do find is some notes on Belizabeth Brassica, the Pontifex.

1:34:58 Siobhan: Oh.

1:35:00 Emily: I'm gonna pocket those.

1:35:01 Brennan: You pocket them really quick. The two things you do as you scan those documents that you see are a mention of two terms you don't understand, but they are the Profidian Heresy and the Ramsian Doctrine. You guys finish up. You guys give Ciabatta a hand, for like getting the room ready to sort of conceal your presence here. You guys get back over the wall. And he actually needs your help sort of like getting rid of the body.

1:35:35 Ruby: Ooh, I can't believe we're hiding our first body.

1:35:39 Jet: It's pretty cool.

1:35:39 Ruby: It's pretty cool.

1:35:40 Brennan: You see Ciabatta gets the body out in to the back, you see that he looks around, and he takes a gladius out, carves off the guy's face, chops off his fingers like a butcher going to work, puts the sword back, and you see that he takes out the little tinder and just leaves a little burn on the side of the bread and then quickly pats the flame out as the smoke kind of twirls up. As it twirls up, you hear the cawing of some crows overhead in the night, as he's just made a little scent go up into the air.

1:36:16 Ciabatta: Should have enough time left in the night to make short work of our friend.

1:36:20 Brennan: He gets back over the wall with you guys, looks at you and says--

1:36:26 Jet: I guess we have secrets on each other now, huh?

1:36:29 Brennan: He says,

1:36:29 Ciabatta: You know, weaker things have been the basis of alliances in the past than a shared secret.

1:36:37 Jet: All right.

1:36:37 Ciabatta: I don't have any faith or trust in spirits, be they in the ground or in the sky. But I do have faith in people. Farewell, princesses.

1:36:52 Ruby: Farewell.

1:36:52 Jet: Farewell.

1:36:53 Ruby: He's cool.

1:36:54 Jet: He's pretty cool.

1:36:55 Ruby: Dude rules.

1:36:56 Jet: Dude rules.

1:36:58 Brennan: Ciabatta takes off.

1:36:59 Jet: I will remember you when I'm king.

1:37:05 Brennan: [laughs] Lapin arrives at the Cathedral of Saint Arugula, beautiful green vegetable cathedral. You walk in, it's nighttime. You see the Pontifex herself. Yes, you see the Pontifex herself. The Pontifex looks at you from her throne up on the dais, the cathedral windows are glowing. You see that there are priests milling around, some knights of the church. You approach with the Archbishop Onionpatch, she looks at you and says,

1:37:42 Pontifex: Primogen Cadbury, approach.

1:37:48 Zac: Can I see, just painting a picture, these windows, can I see through them or not, or like, what do I see in this?

1:37:59 Brennan: Stained glass, it's nighttime now, so all the white is like torchlight of little sort of green vegetable oil candles burning.

1:38:09 Zac: Primogen Lapin approaches. Bows deeply.

1:38:21 Pontifex: Primogen Cadbury. From where does the strength of this church come?

1:38:34 Lapin: I would say that the strength of the church comes from the Bulb and the very people that it shines on.

1:38:43 Pontifex: You are correct, Primogen. The Bulb and the people that it shines on.

1:38:50 Zac: Can I make an Insight check?

1:38:51 Brennan: Yeah. (cast laughing)

1:38:53 Zac: Oh fuck. (cast laughing) Uh… 19. Just take stock of the whole situation.

1:39:08 Brennan: She is livid.

1:39:11 Zac: Hmm.

1:39:13 Brennan: She stands up on the throne and begins to walk slowly down the steps towards you.

1:39:17 Pontifex: The belief of the people. People's faith in us is as ineffable and ephemeral as the acts of the Bulb itself. Its presence is not seen on this world. It shines from above, and though its light is everywhere, it cannot be touched or felt. Such is the power of this church, Lapin. And if the people see our Primogen marched through the street in manacles by common guard, do you think their belief will stand?

1:39:55 Brennan: Smack across the face.

1:39:59 Pontifex: You call for this matter to be settled by the base low-born secular guard of this Concord, in this licentious capital, where money and favors are traded to and fro, this impious place. They watched one of ours brought low by you.

1:40:34 Lapin: I apologize for making this situation, for doing something that makes your life harder, makes the church's life harder, but I was given very little choice.

1:40:55 Pontifex: Will you come to me, Lapin? Will you come to me, the church's law would have seen Alfredi hanged. Our paladins, our priests, our courts, our tribunals of monks and priests, this could have been handled inside the church.

1:41:14 Lapin: You know what happened inside the church? Two of your very own people tried to kill the King of Candia. And, please forgive me for saying this, but I did not trust the inside of the church at this moment.

1:41:37 Pontifex: Lapin, you need to think very carefully about what it is that you're saying right now. Are you a Candian, or a priest of the Bulbian Church first? It can't be both. Do you swear your fealty to a mortal king, or to the eternal Bulb above that judges us all?

1:42:13 Lapin: I of course swear to the Bulb.

1:42:24 Pontifex: [sighs] This mistake may still yet be ameliorated. Your befuddled and foolish action may yet be smoothed over. The church's justice will be administered, the Primogen and Sir Deeproot have already been remanded to our custody, they will be dealt with internally. Their punishment will be public, but the sentence will be private, as it should have been. [sighs]

1:42:52 Zac: Sentences, just, when you said the sentence, it means like—

1:42:57 Brennan: She just means the trial will be secret but they'll be hanged in public. You see that she says,

1:43:01 Pontifex: Our clergy walks this land without weapons. We walk and are welcomed everywhere, and that is because we maintain our station above all, present a united and holy front. Matters like this threaten the very sanctity of the church. I'll explain this, Lapin. Candia right now is not in good standing, and as Primogen this should concern you and concern you deeply. We have reason to believe that one of your envoy has engaged in witchcraft. There was an incident on the road here to Comida. An issuing of a piece of witchcraft. Ceresian soldiers spoke, believing the Princess Ruby to have engaged in sorcery.

1:44:01 Lapin: So you're just trusting the word of a Ceresian soldier over a Primogen of the church.

1:44:06 Pontifex: Of course not. I would never let a low-born soldier tell us that a royal princess committed this act. However, when I witnessed with my own eyes the son of the rebel traitor Joren Jawbreaker engage in magic during the grand tournament, I put two and two together and realized that he was also responsible for the spell cast on the road. He will be tried for witchcraft.

1:44:37 Zac: Do I know what the punishment for that would be?

1:44:42 Brennan: Death.

1:44:43 Zac: Hmm.

1:44:47 Lapin: When will this happen?

1:44:50 Pontifex: Right now.

1:44:51 Brennan: You hear the clanking of armor.

1:44:55 Pontifex: Primogen, as your Pontifex, I ask that you escort these knights of the church to effect the arrest of Liam Wilhelmina of the House of Jawbreaker. The souls of your very princesses depend on his malevolent influence and his worship of the Hungry One being stopped at once.

1:45:22 Lapin: (takes a breath) As you see fit.

1:45:25 Pontifex: His trial will be held on the morrow. See to it.

1:45:29 Brennan: And you and these knights walk out of the cathedral. You guys head out. The five of you guys get back to the quarters with Cruller first. What do you guys do as you guys return?

1:45:48 Siobhan: We explain all the stuff that we can.

1:45:49 Emily: Yeah, I would like to show them the letter about Belizabeth Brassica, and say,

1:45:58 Jet: Theobald, what is the Prophidian Heresy and the Ramsian Doctrine?

1:46:04 Murph: Would I know these?

1:46:05 Brennan: These are obscure pieces of religious lore. Anyone here can give me, I'm gonna call it a DC 20 Religion check to know one or the other.

1:46:16 Siobhan: Can we look in Jet's banned books?

1:46:19 Emily: Oh yeah, can I search through my banned books?

1:46:20 Brennan: I'll let that, and familiars can't give advantage on this one. [to Emily] You can roll with advantage 'cause of your banned books.

1:46:27 Emily: Okay. Come on.

1:46:32 Siobhan: Religion? Oh, I got a 19.

1:46:36 Murph: Only a 9.

1:46:36 Emily: 10.

1:46:37 Brennan: All right. But you guys arrive back at your quarters. But you're in Comida, there's like, in the cathedral they would have records of it somewhere, you could find it somewhere.

1:46:46 Siobhan: Okay.

1:46:46 Brennan: You guys get back to your quarters, I assume you guys tell--

1:46:49 Murph: Yeah, we also tell you guys about, that Annabelle asked that Stilton Curdeau be...

1:46:59 Ruby: (gasps) Stilton Curdeau, who's the—

1:47:02 Brennan: The heir of House Bleu.

1:47:03 Ruby: The heir of House Bleu?

1:47:03 Jet: Stilton Curdeau is behind the assassination attempt.

1:47:06 Ruby: Yes, he was conspiring with Alfredo.

1:47:10 Theobald: Yes, well Captain Annabelle just made it possible for him to become royalty.

1:47:13 Ruby: No!

1:47:15 Liam: What did we think the grain's big secret was? What was Ceresia's big secret?

1:47:19 Amethar: Based on, I mean, from what you're saying, you know, I know the history of like Pangranos already, based on what I know about Pangranos and the way things go there, they are constantly oscillating between ineffective democracy and a destructive imperatorship. Everything you're saying sounds like he's gonna use those secrets to instate another imperatorship. You didn't do anything wrong, that's Ceresia's business. But that's what I think his goals are.

1:48:03 Ruby: Well, if he's gonna do that, at least he seems like--

1:48:06 Jet: He also killed an innocent person.

1:48:08 Ruby: I don't think he was innocent.

1:48:10 Amethar: I've killed a lot of innocent people.

1:48:10 Jet: Me too, I guess, yeah.

1:48:12 Amethar: Well, no, you haven't killed anybody innocent yet.

1:48:15 Jet: Thanks.

1:48:16 Amethar: But I mean, it sounds like--

1:48:18 Ruby: We're all innocent in the eyes of the Bulb.

1:48:21 Amethar: Okay. Okay, that's all right. But I mean, it sounds like also Lord Bleu, I mean, you're saying he has ties to the church. Do you think that in some way, maybe they expect him to be, they'll lift him, I mean, nobody's gonna—

1:48:36 Jet: The church is probably going to nominate him to be the emperor.

1:48:39 Theobald: Based on all of the context we have right now, my guess would be that they've taken someone who's ingrained in the church, and now they're going to be able to, in some official capacity, be able to bring religion even more into the government.

1:48:55 Jet: They're going to turn him into the emperor.

1:48:57 Amethar: I mean--

1:48:58 Theobald: There was mention that the Pontifex has the papers.

1:49:02 Amethar: I mean, yes, that's right.

1:49:03 Theobald: But King Amethar, your father is supposed to be--

1:49:07 Amethar: I’m supposed to be emperor.

1:49:08 Ruby: What, Pops? No way.

1:49:12 Amethar: Yeah. Everything should—

1:49:13 Calroy: Is this true? Congrats, Amethar!

1:49:16 Amethar: I mean--

1:49:17 Theobald: A handshake deal at the moment.

1:49:18 Amethar: A handshake, we're still--

1:49:20 Theobald: We're still waiting on the paperwork.

1:49:21 Amethar: I wasn't 100%, I mean, I literally was, every time people say it, I freak out, so I don't—

1:49:27 Murph: Theo knocks on wood.

1:49:28 Emily: I'll start looking into four-bedrooms in Comida.

1:49:30 Brennan: You guys hear a knock at the door. (knocking) (somber music)

1:49:32 Ally: Ah.

1:49:33 Emily: I'll answer it.

1:49:34 Brennan: The door opens, the Tartguard have all stepped to the side, there are truly an enormous amount of knights out there, and you see at the front of them is Lapin. You see that the lead knight looks over at you, Lapin, and says,

1:49:50 Knight: My lord Primogen, do you wish to announce sentence, or do you wish to announce arrest, or shall I?

1:50:02 Lapin: I can do it. Liam Wilhelmina, you are sentenced by the church—

1:50:09 Amethar: What the fuck?

1:50:11 Lapin: On the trial of witchcraft.

1:50:13 Amethar: The fuck?

1:50:15 Lou: I step forward in front of him.

1:50:17 Emily: Yeah, I step forward as well.

1:50:20 Amethar: I apologize, Lapin. Knights. I'm going to—

1:50:31 Brennan: All the knights kneel and bow to you. The knight on the ground looks at you and says,

1:50:36 Knight: (deep voice, dignified) Your majesty King Amethar, we believe the very souls of your daughters are in jeopardy. We have reason to believe, due to reports given to the Pontifex herself, that Liam Wilhelmina has engaged in witchcraft.

1:50:49 Ruby: Liam is merely very good at, uh, uh, alchemy.

1:50:52 Liam: Yeah.

1:50:54 Murph: Can I send a message to Lapin? I'm gonna cast Message, and I'm gonna say,

1:51:04 Theobald: Is this something that, is this what you want?

1:51:07 Zac: I, uh.

1:51:10 Brennan: You can give me an Insight and a Religion check right now.

1:51:13 Zac: Okay. Insight check.

1:51:19 Murph: So I feel like Theo right now is torn, because a few days ago, he would've been like, “you rabbit bastard,” but now he's like—

1:51:23 Zac: I rolled a 20.

1:51:27 Brennan: Insight is 20. You know that these knights are not here to murder Liam. These knights, you're just reading their body language, they look like they're here to escort him to a jail cell in the cathedral and guard him. Go ahead and roll Religion.

1:51:46 Zac: 13.

1:51:49 Brennan: Cool. You think that there's a very high likelihood that if you announce the arrest, and announce the trial as being public, because you're the arresting Primogen, you can actually ensure that Liam is not like secreted away somewhere. That you can make it a like public trial, that it would have like, the emperor and other people at it.

1:52:14 Zac: “Yes, Liam has been,” wait, you're Messaging me?

1:52:18 Murph: Yeah, you can respond to me.

1:52:21 Lapin: It's not a very good situation, but I think he comes with us, that will be the best, outside of openly fighting these soldiers and going to war with the church right now, I think this will give us the best shot.

1:52:39 Jet: I volunteer myself for jury duty.

1:52:42 Ruby: Yes, I would also like to do jury duty. We're both 18.

1:52:45 Brennan: You see that the knight looks at you and says,

1:52:48 Knight: Your services will be required also as witnesses, Your Majesties. No members of the church were present for the incident on the Sucrosi Road.

1:52:54 Jet: Oh.

1:52:54 Ruby: Oh.

1:52:55 Jet: Fantastic.

1:52:55 Ruby: Great.

1:52:57 Jet: I have very keen eyes.

1:52:57 Ruby: Yes, me too.

1:52:58 Ally: This is probably not a time for me to have a veil of shadows and silence radiate from me.

1:53:01 Zac: Mmmmmm.

1:53:03 Siobhan: No.

1:53:04 Ally: Masking me and my companions from detection, right? Okay, great, I just stand there very well seen.

1:53:10 Lou: How many?

1:53:12 Brennan: There's about 30 of them.

1:53:15 Emily: My hand is on my hilt, looking at my dad.

1:53:18 Lou: I look at Lapin, I say,

1:53:18 Amethar: He won't be harmed.

1:53:26 Liam: What?

1:53:27 Lapin: He will be judged as the Bulbian Church sees fit, in a public trial where all can see the justice of the church.

1:53:37 Ruby: Don't worry, Liam, we're gonna be your witnesses.

1:53:41 Liam: What?! No!

1:53:43 Emily: What do I know about the history of the court in the Empire?

1:53:48 Murph: Yeah, do we have any context of like, do we know if Liam is totally fucked if we—

1:53:57 Emily: I need to know—

1:53:58 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Religion or a History check.

1:54:03 Emily: (rolls) No. There's no point in my even saying.

1:54:05 Murph: Goddammit, 14.

1:54:06 Siobhan: I got a 15.

1:54:08 Zac: I'd like to ask just a question about like, could I defend him in public?

1:54:15 Brennan: That's really what it comes down to, is Liam would be fucked if he was a commoner. Having a Primogen speak on his behalf means it will be a real trial. There will have to be evidence, people will have to actually prove something.

1:54:27 Zac: Mm-hmm.

1:54:28 Siobhan: Great.

1:54:29 Lou: I look at Theobald.

1:54:36 Emily: My hand is on my hilt. Just joking.

1:54:38 Liam: I have to go to, where would I be going?

1:54:42 Lapin: You would have to go to a jail cell, I think.

1:54:47 Jet: If Liam spends the night in jail, so do I.

1:54:49 Ruby: And my bow.

1:54:51 Theobald: What if I were to relinquish my weapon and just be able to come along. You could put me in a jail cell nearby. [gesturing to Liam] As ward of Candia, I think our king would see this as a slap in the face to not have a representative there.

1:55:15 Brennan: The knight looks at you and says,

1:55:18 Knight: If the good Sir Theobald wishes to give watch over the count, then yes, that is completely acceptable.

1:55:25 Murph: Sweet, I slip Sprinkle to Jet.

1:55:28 Liam: Can I bring my pig to jail? Murph laughs.

1:55:33 Brennan: You see the knight looks at you and says,

1:55:35 Knight: You are suspected of witchcraft. But yeah, sure, the pig's good. (cast laughing)

1:55:41 Liam: Okay, come on.

1:55:43 Lou: I put my hand on the back of Liam's neck and I pull him, his face close to mine.

1:55:52 Amethar: [whispering] You will not—

1:55:52 Liam: [whispering] Don't let them kill me.

1:55:55 Amethar: I will die before they kill you.

1:55:58 Liam: Okay, thank you.

1:56:00 Amethar: Yeah, you're welcome.

1:56:01 Ally: I'm holding the pig like this.

1:56:04 Brennan: Liam.

1:56:05 Emily: Looks like a child with--

1:56:07 Brennan: You spend the night in a cold jail cell with Sir Theobald watching over you.

1:56:12 Liam: Oh, thank you.

1:56:14 Brennan: Food is brought by priests.

1:56:17 Ally: Is it any good?

1:56:17 Brennan: It's not bad, it's very humble. (cast laughing) It's very very humble.

1:56:21 Murph: It's fine.

1:56:22 Brennan: It's fine. ...Early in the morning, you wake up, probably not gonna be able to sleep very well, Sir Theobald, you're there as well. Did you sleep during the night or no?

1:56:37 Murph: I probably tried to sleep for a bit.

1:56:41 Brennan: You and Preston could like--

1:56:42 Murph: Yeah, I think I want to, yeah, I think we're looking out, and I wanna talk to Liam a little bit and just say,

1:56:47 Theobald: Just to be clear, what the king told you is true, we're not gonna let anything happen to you. We're saving violence as the last resort, but if it comes to that.

1:57:00 Brennan: You two hear mournful bells ring out from not only this cathedral overhead, deafening you, but every church in the city, and as the rest of the royal court of Candia awaken, the mourners pronounce the death of the Concordant Emperor, Gustavo Uvano, who died in his sleep during the night.

1:57:26 Murph: Paperwork was not finalized, that's not good.

1:57:31 Ally: Oh. Wait, oh, his daughter.

1:57:36 Murph: Is not his heir.

1:57:38 Ally: Well, she was in the room, so would she be able to—

1:57:41 Siobhan: Maybe.

1:57:41 Murph: Perhaps. We can only hope.

1:57:46 Brennan: Candians. As you awaken, Amethar, first, the news as you awaken that your old friend Gustavo has passed.

1:57:53 Lou: Can I go to the Pyramid?

1:57:55 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.

1:57:56 Lou: Yeah, I run there.

1:57:59 Siobhan: We'll go with him.

1:57:59 Emily: Yeah.

1:58:00 Brennan: You run to the Pyramid, you are escorted up, you see he's been brought out, you see he's still in his bed, he's in a larger chamber now, candles are lit. Plumbeline is at the foot of the bed weeping. Yeah, just like hysterically weeping. And you see his tired face, he looks at peace. He died with the last piece of knowledge that his empire that he spent his life building is in good hands.

1:58:32 Lou: I step forward and put my hand on Plumbelina's shoulder, but don't speak.

1:58:38 Brennan: Her hand reaches up and touches your hand, and she looks up and says,

1:58:44 Plumbeline: (sighs) I will miss him so very much. Your Majesty, you will not have to worry. If your offer is true and I am on your council, then I will do my best to be a better shield than I was on the joust and protect you from bureaucracy and the day-to-days of dealing with this empire as I can.

1:59:18 Amethar: Hey. I believe in you, as he believed in you.

1:59:26 Siobhan: Can I do an Insight check on her?

1:59:28 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:59:29 Siobhan: Great. Bah. 7.

1:59:34 Brennan: 7, she's covered in tears, her face is like, she just smiles up at Amethar, and I mean, it's every fuckin' thing. She's like, got knocked off a fuckin' horse yesterday.

1:59:43 Siobhan: Right, her dad just died.

1:59:44 Brennan: Her dad just fuckin' died, there's a lot going on.

1:59:47 Emily: If I had just a short rest, could I have spent all night looking for the Prophidian Heresy and the Ramsian Doctrine?

1:59:56 Brennan: Yeah, if you just did a short rest, yeah, absolutely. Go ahead and give me a Religion check, and you once again have advantage because you have those banned books.

2:00:10 Emily: 12.

2:00:12 Brennan: You know what? You find a massive tome that has that stuff in it. But you would have to not be a witness at Liam's trial to read it. So it's like time is up and you have to kind of go, but you have a book with the stuff in it, you just don't have time to read it.

2:00:34 Emily: Okay.

2:00:35 Brennan: Cool?

2:00:37 Lou: Yeah, and I think we head out from there and go straight to be literally the first people to wherever.

2:00:45 Brennan: Cool. Plumbeline walks at your side and has her hand on your arm.

2:00:50 Amethar: You don't have to go, if you—

2:00:54 Brennan: She looks and says,

2:00:54 Plumbeline: I will remain at my father's side.

2:00:59 Brennan: And you see that she actually looks and sees her father and says,

2:01:02 Plumbeline: I have no more tears to shed. I don't want to wrinkle.

2:01:08 Brennan: You see she walks with you guys to the church, you guys get to the cathedral. Liam is not in manacles or anything, this is like all nobility, no one's being like, manhandled or marched around or anything like that. But Theo and Liam come in and join you guys. You guys are seated at the front, Plumbeline is there, a bunch of other people there, Commander Grissini's there. The Pontifex stands up and speaks. You see that she says,

2:01:40 Pontifex: The matter of the trial of Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker was scheduled for this morning, however, in the night, the Concordant Emperor Gustavo Uvano passed away in his sleep. May he follow the light of the Bulb to paradise and dwell in glory forever. Amen.

2:02:04 Ruby: Amen.

2:02:05 Brennan: The church echoes this sentiment.

2:02:07 Crowd: Amen.

2:02:08 Brennan: She looks out and says,

2:02:12 Pontifex: [sighs] As Pontifex, the emperor passed away prior to the completion of the documents following the grand tournament, however, it is my understanding that his wishes as to who should be named successor were made known. If there are any here now who may speak as to the truth of these claims, let them speak now.

2:02:51 Murph: I stand up.

2:02:51 Ally: I stand up.

2:02:52 Brennan: Cool. Theo stands up, Liam stands up. Everyone kinda cocks an eye at Liam.

2:02:59 Liam: [loudly] Should I have not stood up?

2:03:02 Theobald: He was there. He's not lying.

2:03:04 Ruby: Pay a compliment.

2:03:05 Liam: You shine. Almost blinding. (cast laughing)

2:03:10 Brennan: Give me a Charisma check with advantage.

2:03:13 Ally: With advantage?

2:03:14 Brennan: Annabelle's advice was good.

2:03:16 Murph: All right.

2:03:16 Ally: Hey! 16.

2:03:18 Brennan: The Pontifex looks at you and goes,

2:03:18 Pontifex: Thank you.

2:03:23 Brennan: You see she looks and says,

2:03:23 Pontifex: Sir Theobald, you were present and heard the emperor's words.

2:03:32 Theobald: I recommended the good king myself.

2:03:34 Pontifex: I ask now if anyone, not your recommendation, Sir Theobald, if there are any here who saw the emperor--

2:03:42 Lou: I cock my head to Plumbelina.

2:03:47 Brennan: She looks at you.

2:03:50 Emily: I knew she would fuckin' turn.

2:03:56 Brennan: You see that she turns and looks up at the Pontifex, and says,

2:04:01 Plumbeline: Your Holiness, my father, the Emperor Gustavo Uvano, named Senator Ciabatta of Ceresia as Concordant Emperor.

2:04:23 Ruby: Liar!

2:04:25 Brennan: Gasps, gasps, gasps, gasps, gasps, gasps.

2:04:29 Ally: Is there a way for me to put Preston down and have him run to the emperor's body and see if he was poisoned or anything—

2:04:39 Brennan: It's like a mile away. A different part of the city.

2:04:43 Ally: Preston can fly, but he would take some falling damage. Brennan laughs.

2:04:47 Lou: I stand.

2:04:50 Amethar: I do not like that I have to do this, but I will. The Emperor Uvano was my friend and ally, and I will not have his final words be misconstrued. I was named. He asked of me to lead the Concord.

2:05:27 Brennan: A even greater gasp goes up—

2:05:30 Emily: Can I sneak to wherever the Emperor Ciabatta is staying?

2:05:34 Brennan: To Ciabatta? Ciabatta's not here right now. You see that the Pontifex looks up. Anyone can roll an Insight check on the Pontifex, if you'd like.

2:05:48 Siobhan: Yeah.

2:05:50 Zac: Can I do it?

2:05:50 Murph: 18.

2:05:51 Siobhan: 10.

2:05:51 Ally: 18, oh, sorry, Insight 19.

2:05:54 Brennan: Yeah, you're here.

2:05:56 Ally: 19.

2:05:57 Zac: Yeah, 18.

2:05:59 Siobhan: Oh, with help?

2:06:00 Brennan: No, not with help. Cool, you see the Pontifex looks confused and startled. She regards Amethar, regards Plumbeline. She doesn't look too fondly at Plumbeline, I'll be honest. She looks and says,

2:06:17 Pontifex: We have two competing claims as to the truth of the matter. It is possible that in his addled state, the Emperor Gustavo may have accidentally or through sickness named two successors in confusion. We have means of determining the truth of these statements. We actually were already prepared for a trial. Would the Lady Plumbeline consent to swearing upon the Holy Book of Leaves, relic of Saint Citrina of Candia?

2:07:01 Brennan: And you see that one of the relics on the table is this glowing book. Your sister's book that, wearing on it, it's like a magical item, it will like compel truth. Plumbeline's eyes go wide. She says,

2:07:16 Plumbeline: [stone-faced] I submit to swearing upon the relic of Saint Citrina.

2:07:24 Brennan: She looks over at you, Amethar, and says,

2:07:24 Pontifex: Your Majesty?

2:07:29 Amethar: It will be my honor.

2:07:32 Brennan: They present the relic.

2:07:34 Murph: Can I do a check to see if that is indeed the true, like I'll go up and kind of join the king as they go up and investigate it.

2:07:44 Emily: While this is happening, do I have any idea where Ciabatta's staying?

2:07:47 Brennan: [to Murph] You can't walk past the first row of pews.

2:07:50 Murph: Got it, okay, so I'll just peek it. Fuck me. 11 Arcana.

2:08:00 Brennan: 11 Arcana.

2:08:00 Murph: Or 14 History.

2:08:01 Brennan: 14 History? You've seen Citrina's book before, that's Citrina's book. It's the real relic, it's no double-whammy, it's no fuckin' thing.

2:08:08 Murph: [to Lou] Just tell the truth.

2:08:09 Zac: Could I make a check on that book, just to see if I can tell what the magic is coming from?

2:08:15 Brennan: Yeah, give me an Arcana check.

2:08:20 Zac: Nat 20.

2:08:21 Ally: No way.

2:08:23 Siobhan: Oh, man.

2:08:25 Brennan: You motherfucker. The magic of that book is coming directly from the Bulb. I will give you more information as you continue to look at it. But the magic of that book's coming from the Bulb. It is Citrina's actual book, it is not a crazy portkey, it is not a thing that's gonna zap Amethar to death the second he touches it. It is exactly what it looks like, and the magic is coming from the Bulb. But you see a potential for you to look deeper into the nature of the Bulb itself on a nat 20.

2:09:00 Zac: Okay, I continue to look at it.

2:09:02 Brennan: Cool. We're gonna do the other political stuff that's happening right now, as you look on that nat 20. You see—

2:09:09 Emily: I'm gonna use this time to feverishly try to read my book.

2:09:12 Brennan: Cool. [pages rustle] Yeah, you're feverishly reading your book. The Prophidian Heresy is a belief within the church that was popular for a time that the Hungry One was as powerful as the Bulb. Eventually it was ruled not part of church doctrine, but it was a theodicy. It was a way of explaining why evil existed in the world, and there were some Bulbian priests that believed that the Hungry One was as powerful as the Bulb. That's the Prophidian Heresy. You see the Pontifex regards Plumbeline. She says,

2:09:47 Pontifex: Lady Plumbeline of House Uvano, did your father name Senator Ciabatta successor to his throne?

2:10:01 Brennan: Her hand glows with golden light, she winces a little bit, and then says,

2:10:07 Plumbeline: No, he did not. [lowers her eyes]

2:10:13 Brennan: Pontifex turns to you. Everyone make a Perception check.

2:10:20 Siobhan: 15?

2:10:21 Ally: 20, not nat.

2:10:22 Murph: I'm back to my old rolls.

2:10:24 Lou: Also 20, not nat.

2:10:27 Brennan: Amethar, you look over in a corner. The door is open to the jail cell that Liam walked out of, because, it's been open because Liam and Theo walked out of it. You glance down there. Hanging from a wall, like in shackles, unconscious and tortured-looking, you just catch a glimpse through this like slit, on a 20 DC, is Manta Ray Jack.

2:10:56 Siobhan: What the fuck?

2:10:58 Brennan: The Pontifex looks at you and says,

2:11:01 Pontifex: King Amethar of the House of Rocks. Who is your lawful wedded wife? Ruby gasps. Amethar is speechless.

2:11:11 Pontifex: King Amethar of the House of Rocks, I put the question to you with your hand on the Holy Book of Leaves, your sister's book. Who is your lawful wedded wife?

2:11:27 Amethar: Though I am currently married to the Queen Caramelinda of Candia, I was previously married to a woman of the Dairy Islands.

2:11:49 Pontifex: This marriage, it was performed by Father Belford Buttercream of the Bulbian Church, is this correct?

2:11:57 Amethar: (whispering) How do you know that? (louder) Yes.

2:12:02 Pontifex: And this marriage, it was never annulled, this is correct?

2:12:08 Amethar: The war was a confusing time, and though the annulment was never official, I believed...

2:12:28 Pontifex: I can imagine marrying a common milkmaid, the war, she moves, cannot be found to annul the marriage. Rare that a prince marries a commoner. Still, there is no Queen Caramelinda of House Rocks. You became an oathbreaker the moment that you agreed to marry her. There has never been a marriage between Caramelinda and House Rocks because you could not enter into that promise in good faith. So indeed there is only Caramelinda of House Meringue, and her two bastard daughters.

2:13:07 Ruby: [quietly] Call me that again.

2:13:09 Pontifex: I pronounce you false, an adulterer—

2:13:12 Amethar: Don’t.

2:13:16 Pontifex: And from this moment forward, you are [making the sign of the cross] excommunicated-

2:13:18 Amethar: Stop.

2:13:20 Pontifex: From the Bulbian Church. As such, you may hold neither land nor title. Archbishop, seeing that the King of Candia is no longer king, to who does the crown of Candia belong?

2:13:34 Brennan: The archbishop pipes up and says,

2:13:37 Onionpatch: (quickly and nervously) Your Holiness, the crown, in this instance, given that the daughters are bastards and Caramelinda of House Merengue is no longer a member of the royal family, passes to Duke Joren Jawbreaker, who is in open rebellion.

2:13:51 Brennan: The Pontifex says,

2:13:51 Pontifex: Then Candia has seceded from the Concord. Its alliance is broken, it is at war with the Concord. Amethar tries to form words.

2:14:00 Pontifex: Guards, seize them!

2:14:01 Amethar: No!

2:14:02 Ruby: Absolutely not!

2:14:02 Brennan: Roll initiative.

2:14:04 Emily: Ah!

2:14:07 Siobhan: Fuck.

2:14:08 Emily: Okay.

2:14:10 Siobhan: You son of a bitch.

2:14:11 Lou: What just happened!

2:14:14 Brennan: That's all for this week on A Crown of Candy. Tune in next week. (dramatic music) [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 6: Chaos in the Cathedral] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20] [organ music]

2:14:28 Emily: I am just going to charge the Pontifex.

2:14:32 Ally: (laughs) I knew it!

2:14:32 Jet: It's a fucking war you want, it's a fucking war you got.

2:14:35 Brennan: You stab this poison dagger. Ha! Several priests who turn and smile at you. Falls as pylons start to move through them.

2:14:45 Amethar: Take your sister and go.

2:14:47 Jet: You know I'm just gonna come running back.

2:14:49 Murph: Come on. Fuck!

2:14:52 Ally: We're absolutely fucked. Captions extracted by matthew#2131 Edited by gluegunshots, rowan solsys