Escape From the Bulb Creeps

0:00:20 Brennan: [with less exuberance than normal] Hello, one and all, and welcome back to A Crown of Candy. I'm your humble Dungeon Master Brennan Lee Mulligan and with me… are five of our intrepid heroes. Say hello, intrepid heroes.

0:00:30 Siobhan: You know what, fuck you, Brennan.

0:00:32 Lou: Hi, intrepid heroes.

0:00:32 Murph: Hi, intrepid heroes.

0:00:33 Siobhan: This is literally his birthday.

0:00:35 Ally: Happy birthday, Zac.

0:00:35 Siobhan: Yeah, this is literally Zac’s birthday today.

0:00:36 Murph: Rest in sweets, Lapin.

0:00:37 Siobhan: Nice.

0:00:39 Emily: Aw, that's beautiful.

0:00:39 Siobhan: Yeah, that's beautiful.

0:00:40 Brennan: Rest in sweets.

0:00:41 Emily: RI…

0:00:43 Ally: [mimicking Zac’s voice for Lapin] Lapin Cadbury. [normal voice] I will miss that voice the most.

0:00:45 Siobhan: Reese's and Pieces.

0:00:46 Emily: Reese's and Pieces.

0:00:47 Brennan: Last we left our intrepid heroes they were in the Cathedral of Saint Arugula in the capital city of Comida. The Throne of the Concordant Empire atop the Great Pyramid of Food, the death of Gustavo Uvano and a sudden, devious turn of events, her Holiness, the Hierophant Rex and Pontifex of the Bulbian Church, Belizabeth Brassica, having sideswiped Amethar of the House of Rocks at a trial for witchcraft for Liam Wilhelmina the House of Jawbreaker, Count of Freezyberg on the charge of witchcraft. Some business was attended to having to do with the sudden passing of Gustavo Uvano and conflicting accounts of who the Emperor had named his successor, invited to put his hand on the book of his sister Saint Citrina, compelled to tell the truth. Instead of being asked as to the words of his old friend Gustavo, he was asked who was his lawful wedded wife. For the first time in their lives, the family members of Amethar heard the name Catherine Ghee, a commoner of the Dairy Islands. After being sentenced as an adulterer and oathbreaker, Amethar was stripped of land and titles, the Crown of Candia passing immediately, many hundreds of miles away to Duke Joren Jawbreaker, meaning that Candia had, without any active role in its part, inadvertently declared war on the Concord and removed itself from the protection of the Imperial Army. You are running, your feet pound heavily into the cobblestones of Comida. You can feel the bones in your shins shudder under the weight of your dead sprint. Your breath is caught up in your throat with phlegm and blood as you all sprint as fast as you can. You are at varying stages of injury. Theo having that one sharp stab in the back from the very beginning of the fight, the princesses with various wounds and injuries but still mostly together. Uh, Liam, you run as fast as you can. Uh, you can feel, uh, multiple broken ribs, every intake of breath stabs into you with shooting pain from where the mace of Sir Keradin Deeproot landed. Amethar, riddled with arrows and halberd marks, sweet blood pouring down your massive frame as you all sprint through cobblestone alleyways away from the cathedral hearing the shouts of the Imperial Army behind you. (clamor sound effect) Where do you run?

0:03:50 Emily: I… I book it for the alley where Thad was. (Brennan laughs)

0:03:58 Siobhan: Is that close to here?

0:03:59 Emily: Is it?

0:04:01 Brennan: It's in a direction. It's an alley you know how to get to.

0:04:03 Siobhan: Can I send, er, Yak up into the sky to scout for us? To see if there are Imperial soldiers or anybody down a different street so that we all-

0:04:09 Murph: [to Lou] [crosstalk with Siobhan] ...Cal?

0:04:14 Lou: Yeah. [to Brennan] Where is Cal?

0:04:17 Murph: He was back there they probably-

0:04:18 Siobhan: No, Cal wasn't in the-

0:04:20 Murph: He’s probably back at our-

0:04:20 Siobhan: Right.

0:04:21 Lou: At the Pyramid of Food.

0:04:21 Siobhan: At the Pyramid of Food.

0:04:23 Brennan: I'm going to go ahead and actually ask you guys to weirdly roll initiative if you'd be so kind.

0:04:28 Murph: Sure.

0:04:29 Brennan: Yeah. Did anybody get above a 20?

0:04:34 Emily: No.

0:04:35 Brennan: Did anybody get above a 15?

0:04:36 Siobhan: I got a 19.

0:04:37 Ally: Yeah.

0:04:37 Lou: 17.

0:04:39 Brennan: 19 and 17. So Ruby, you are running and the first thing you-I mean like, we have a couple people, it seems that the person with the strongest idea of where to go because you're not able to speak you're not there's no having a conference together.

0:04:53 Emily: So you guys know it's because I think that we can— He can— I can take his ride.

0:04:58 Murph: Okay.

0:04:59 Emily: We can get out of the city.

0:05:00 Murph: [shaking his head] I don't have any better ideas.

0:05:02 Lou: No, not at all.

0:05:03 Brennan: You guys are sprinting. It's just, I think it's not even a conversation. I think, Jet, you just take the lead and have an idea of where to go and people follow behind Jet. Emily mimes furiously running.

0:05:12 Brennan: All of you guys are breathing too hard under the injured state that you're in to even talk. So you are just sprinting following Jet through the alleys. On a 19 you are- Act first to send Yak up, Yak starts circling. And we're going to, in the midst of your injured state running, you can't shake the image in your head of the silhouettes you saw in stained glass of a mace rising up and coming down and a spray of chocolate across the front of the church. And, in the insane horror of how quickly you have gone from a princess to just a 18 year old woman running through the streets with her family, or what is left of them, you have a sudden flashback and we're going to flashback to a moment years before. The screen’s colors go a little washed out, like an old photograph. (gentle, dark piano music)

0:06:14 Brennan: We’re at Castle Candy and for the first time in your life, maybe you're about like nine or ten years old, you just saw the Swirler Sisters traveling circus come through and you're out on the castle walls doing a handstand. You hear a sharp voice from a door.

0:06:38 Voice: Ruby Rocks, get down from there you are a pri—

0:06:43 Brennan: You feel a pinch on your ear and your mother the Queen Caramelinda is pulling your ear, pulls you off the parapets and goes,

0:06:51 Caramelinda: Why- How many times I have to tell you- Why are you doing acrobatics out here on the castle walls?

0:06:58 Ruby: Well if I do it inside, then it's easy.

0:07:03 Caramelinda: Life will be hard enough, Ruby. You don't need to make it any harder. You are a princess, you have responsibilities. This family [sighs] Danger can arise at any moment, we don't need to tempt fate. You have an important role to play. Just because your sister is heir doesn't mean that you don't need to take your life seriously as well.

0:07:34 Ruby: If danger can arise at any time, then I should train to be ready for it.

0:07:42 Caramelinda: (sighs) When I teach you about history, and politics, and the world, and the names of the lords and ladies who come to court, that is me preparing you for danger. And the fact that you can't realize it means that I have not impressed upon you how important those things truly are. Brennan, with a twirling hand, indicates the flashback is over, then mimics panicked running.

0:08:09 Brennan: Amethar, what are you doing as the group runs?

0:08:13 Lou: I just, I just think I'm just replaying everything. I don't know. Just struggling to handle what (stammers) what future I have insisted upon Candia with my past misdeeds.

0:08:33 Brennan: How old is Amethar right now?

0:08:34 Lou: At this time? Yeah, like 48.

0:08:39 Brennan: 48? Amethar, as you were running… [exhales and flicks hands upward, starting to narrate a flashback] Amethar, you're 24 years old. You're in a tiny garrison of your uncle's in the Great Stone Candy Mountains. You're in a room in a tower. There's goblets of fine cola wine everywhere around you. You are seated next to your sister, the Saint Citrina, and standing in a corner of the room laying with her arms crossed is your sister, Sapphria, older than you but the youngest of the sisters. You see bearing down on you, standing directly across from you in the seat where you are in the middle of the room is your oldest sister Rococoa.

0:09:22 Rococoa: [angrily yelling] You've married? You've married.

0:09:25 Amethar: I— yeah!

0:09:27 Rococoa: A commoner!

0:09:28 Amethar: Oh, okay, we're in love, okay?

0:09:31 Rococoa: What does that have to do with anything?

0:09:34 Amethar: What— that's what people who— that's— you marry somebody because you love them!

0:09:39 Rococoa: God, Amethar, you are as thick as a stump sometimes. Don't you understand that these things have consequences?

0:09:50 Amethar: Yeah, I mean, I didn't- What? I didn't think it was gonna be- I didn't think it was gonna be a thing!

0:09:57 Rococoa: You are a Prince of Candia. We are at war with half the nations of Calorum. Our one ally, the Dairy Islands, half of them wanna kill us for entering the war this late and forsaking our allegiances and, and, your marriage could have meant saved lives! It could have meant marrying someone important. It could have meant a strategic alliance somewhere.

0:10:22 Brennan: Small little circles are being rubbed into your back by Saint Citrina. She leans over and whispers,

0:10:30 Citrina: Amethar, you know that she's only mad because she cares about you.

0:10:34 Brennan: And Rococoa looks at Citrina says,

0:10:36 Rococoa: [yelling] That is not true!

0:10:39 Amethar: What do you want me to do?

0:10:41 Rococoa: I want, I want— Well, well Sapphria should, should—

0:10:47 Brennan: Sapphria says,

0:10:47 Sapphria: Don't look at me. I think it's great that he's gotten his rocks off with a nice cute girl on the Dairy Islands.

0:10:50 Amethar: [embarrassed] Oh, Sapphria.

0:10:54 Brennan: You see that she smiles your way and says,

0:10:55 Sapphria: Rococoa, Amethar is fifth in line. For this to matter— do you know how many things would have to have gone wrong, to get to the point where this is going to matter? Let Amethar marry a— does anyone actually care? I'm not wed yet! I'm in front of Amethar, if anyone remembers or cares.

0:11:18 Brennan: Rococoa, shakes her head and says,

0:11:20 Rococoa: It's not about that. Look, we can do something. We can get this annulled, we can go back.

0:11:28 Brennan: You see that Citrina looks up and says,

0:11:32 Citrina: [softly] Well, we can't get it annulled if Amethar truly loves her. That— to spit in the face of love and marriage as a sacred vow of the Bulb.

0:11:41 Brennan: You see that, Rococoa goes,

0:11:43 Rococoa: [frustrated] Citrina, just for once, the Church stuff, can we?

0:11:49 Brennan: And you see that Citrina looks up and says,

0:11:51 Citrina: I'm not talking about the Church, I'm talking about the Bulb, and its light shines most brightly on those who act and speak in the name of love.

0:12:02 Brennan: You see Sapphria goes,

0:12:05 Sapphria: [gags]

0:12:08 Brennan: You see that Citrina looks up and says

0:12:09 Citrina: [singsong] It'll happen for you one day too, Sapphria. I know it will.

0:12:12 Brennan: With a puff of blue smoke, Lazuli arrives. You see, Rococoa turns to her and says,

0:12:20 Rococoa: Lazuli, have you heard the news of this, this madness, all of this nonsense?

0:12:25 Brennan: And she says,

0:12:28 Lazuli: Oh. Oh, so that's happened. That has happened. It's not going to happen.

0:12:32 Brennan: You see all the sisters kind of turned to look at Lazuli, and she says,

0:12:36 Lazuli: Sorry, I have to keep some of these things, um, in order in my head of when they've happened and when they have yet to have happened. Umm. Amethar, congratulations on your marriage.

0:12:48 Amethar: You knew this was gonna happen?

0:12:50 Lazuli: No. No no no, I didn't know it was gonna happen. I knew it was going to happen and it was going to not happen. But now it has happened which means it was never going to not happen. And the times when it didn't happen can't happen.

0:13:08 Amethar: [pauses, completely lost] Moving on?

0:13:11 Brennan: [laughs] You see that Rococoa goes,

0:13:14 Rococoa: I don't have time for this nonsense, Lazuli, we need to muster Joren's forces and march as fast as we can. The Ceresians are pouring through Gumdrop Pass as fast as they can and we need to make a move.

0:13:26 Brennan: You see that Lazuli says,

0:13:28 Lazuli: Right, well. Citrina, what would have to happen to this to be annulled?

0:13:34 Brennan: And you see that, Citrina says,

0:13:35 Citrina: We would have to find Father Belford and he would have to have you both present there and then the marriage could be annulled if that's what you want, Amethar. But if it's not what you want then no force… [looks at Rococoa] None but the Bulb itself could force you to leave that union.

0:13:54 Brennan: Lazuli nods and says,

0:13:56 Lazuli: Well, after the war is concluded, then we will have time aplenty to find young Mrs. Rocks and have the marriage annulled if that is what Amethar wishes.

0:14:12 Brennan: You see that Sapphria looks over and says,

0:14:12 Sapphria: What do we, uh... What do we tell Father?

0:14:18 Brennan: All three sisters all turn at the same time and go, Rococoa, Lazuli, Citrina: Nothing! (whoosh sound effect as flashback ends) (panting)

0:14:27 Brennan: Who- did anyone get above a 10 in their initiative?

0:14:30 Ally: I got a 17.

0:14:31 Murph: I got a 12.

0:14:31 Brennan: 17 and 12? Great. Liam, you are running as fast as you can and ringing in your ears is a final [pig snort and squeal] being cut short.

0:14:50 Ally: [face clenched, shaking head] I'm crying. I'm for sure like bawling my eyes out while running like [sobs].

0:14:55 Brennan: You weep as much as you can. Your shattered ribs are there. You [flashback begins] go back to a moment when you were like, you know, maybe, not too- you were like maybe 14 or 15, something like that. You're in the castle of Duke Jawbreaker, comes up. Huge man, bald jawbreaker head, chin like a cow catcher on a train, walks up. He's got this giant, like two handed mace. And he comes up and goes,

0:15:30 Jawbreaker: [deep, very rough voice] Hey there, kid. Uh, It’s your Saints Day, right?

0:15:33 Liam: Yeah it's- yeah. Wow. Thanks for remembering.

0:15:37 Jawbreaker: Yeah, your mom said something about it, here's a pig.

0:15:41 Liam: What?

0:15:42 Jawbreaker: I got you a pig. I got you a pig for ya. You're always outside with the-

0:15:48 Liam: Okay, thanks.

0:15:49 Jawbreaker: He's a baby.

0:15:51 Liam: Yeah, thank you. Is this a test or some-? Is this a toughness test, another toughness test?

0:15:59 Jawbreaker: A toughness test? No, I wouldn't put you through a toughness test. No, Grash, and everyone else, your brothers’d do that plenty. Look. The important thing is this kid, I love you... (pauses, uncertain) Liam.

0:16:15 Liam: Yeah, defi—

0:16:15 Jawbreaker: Yeah.

0:16:16 Liam: It's Liam. Yep, my name is Liam.

0:16:19 Jawbreaker: I got a lot. I got a, a lot of them running around.

0:16:22 Liam: And you love all of them.

0:16:23 Jawbreaker: I love 'em all. But you I knew you'd like a pig because you're always outside.

0:16:28 Liam: Yeah, it's really cute. [holds Preston up, smiling]

0:16:31 Jawbreaker: They say his name is Liam, his name's Liam.

0:16:36 Liam: Okay. Yeah, maybe I'll rename him because it'd be confusing since my name is Liam.

0:16:44 Jawbreaker: [pauses for a second, confused] Preston's the pig.

0:16:45 Liam: Great, cool.

0:16:46 Jawbreaker: Liam's the son.

0:16:47 Liam: Okay!

0:16:49 Brennan: You see, walking up is one of your father's partners. One of your father's partners walks up. Your father has a couple partners that he has children with, who in the tradition of the old way of the Sweetening Path and the old Sucrosi people that lived in Candia long before the Church of the Bulb came here, being wed to many people or handfasted to many people is a little bit more common. So your mother comes up, Spearia, and she's actually this very, like, beautiful, long-haired witchy-like Vegetanian woman, but she is made out of all these spearmint leaves that kind of look, you know those like a green man like statues where all the leaves grow out of the face? She's this beautiful, very calm, witchy spiritual Vegetanian, who is a devout priestess of the Sweetening Path and of, like, the old spirits. She comes up and says,

0:17:52 Spearia: [gentle, high voice] Oh, little sweetie.

0:17:56 Liam: [smiling] Hi, Mom.

0:17:56 Spearia: Hi, sweetheart. [kisses] I see you got your little pig, Preston, huh?

0:18:05 Liam: Yeah, that’ll be cool.

0:18:07 Spearia: Well, he's like he'll take care of you, okay, if you take care of him.

0:18:11 Liam: Okay, yeah, I’ll try.

0:18:13 Spearia: All right. And I want to say your father and I have been talking, and your offer to go to Castle Candy and be a ward there, I think that's really brave.

0:18:31 Liam: Thanks. I think it's, it's not that brave because I don't think it would be that hard there. It’s like, you know, like all my brothers and stuff here suck so it would just be great to get away and not have to play stairs anymore.

0:18:48 Spearia: Yeah. Stairs?

0:18:52 Liam: Is where I'm, it's where they run up a bunch of stairs, but I have to be every stair. [Lou snorts]

0:18:58 Liam: So I play all the stairs I'm just. I'm making myself taller by standing up a little bit more as each foot is on my head, and then they all go into the fort. [laughs] But you know, I'm the stairs so I don't— No one's a stair for me.

0:19:14 Spearia: Wow, I- I should be paying closer attention— (all players laugh)

0:19:18 Spearia: —to what's been going on, because that’s full-

0:19:19 Liam: I would say I'm grossly neglected.

0:19:21 Spearia: Yeah, that's full- That is full abuse.

0:19:22 Liam: Mm. Mm-hmm.

0:19:24 Spearia: And that's, um, deeply upsetting. I'm, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get right on that. Although, you are leaving.

0:19:29 Liam: Yeah. So it's going through? I get to go?

0:19:33 Spearia: We've decided, we've talked about it and you know, your father and me and his other partners and their other partners and my other partners and—

0:19:42 Liam: The 35 of you, okay.

0:19:42 Spearia: Yeah, your 35 parents got together and we're going— we think it's the right choice. The world out there can be dangerous. Um, not everywhere is as open as we are here, and as respectful of all the different things that can be true, and you haven't had a lot of interactions with the Church, for example. The things we know about the spirits here, spirits of sweetness and of savoriness, spirits of light and dark, of wind and earth, fire and water, all of those spirits have truth to them. And that truth that I just said makes some people angrier than it should and they might hurt people just for saying what's real. I want you to be really careful. But you should know there's more than just me watching out for you. There’s Preston, too.

0:20:53 Liam: Yeah, this is really cool. (whoosh sound effect as flashback ends)

0:20:55 Brennan: You, as you are running in that weird dream space, feel something inside you. And you think about all the spirits that your mother spoke about. And now that Preston is gone, you feel something dark inside you. There's a voice deep in there. [feral screech] You feel darkness, a blast of flames, something hot. Smoke fills your vision for a second, great wind, the deep and powerful feeling beyond that, past the heat, past the screams, something else. A deep and powerful hunger. Peppermint ice grows from your fingers around your crossbow. And you feel your crossbow get cold in your hands. Come back and you're running and you feel that something in your magic has changed.

0:21:35 Ally: Cool.

0:22:16 Brennan: Theo, what's going on with Theo as you're running?

0:22:21 Murph: I think...Theo- I think Theo kind of thought Amethar was a goner and that was like him following his last order and the princesses saved them and Jet like took off one way so I think for once Theo's just shutting up and following Jet, just running.

0:22:42 Brennan: You are running, when you just flash, you think of Lapin, moving and stepping and, Liam, even as you go cold, you feel one last thing which is Lapin’s paw pushing into your chest and moving you out of the way of Sir Keradin.

0:22:58 Ally: [nodding] And he got in front of me. [quietly] Damn.

0:23:00 Brennan: And he got in front of you. Theo, you think of the last time that you remember really shutting up and following orders. You are a young, newly minted Gummy Knight. You're a knight of North-Gumbia. You're in your first suit of full plate, standing at attention, being as quiet as possible. You got knighted earlier this morning and are standing in an office in front of the Archmage Lazuli, who has not yet looked at you. You've been here for about 20 minutes.

0:23:42 Lazuli: [muttering to herself] Alright, papers. Okay, that’s going to go, now what about this? Very interesting. Theobald is standing silently, posture ramrod straight.

0:23:45 Brennan: She, she turns over, you see that there is a tall Candian monk there. Sort of like light blue skin, this crazy pink hair. He's like a cotton candy monk with these very like, hollowed-out eyes. And you see he's got like this long lollistaff next to him and this little necklace with like an eye on it. You see that she says,

0:24:06 Lazuli: Cumulous, thank you if you would please take this to the Monastery of the Spinning Star. Thank you.

0:24:14 Brennan: And you see that Cumulous just turns into a cloud of like cottony mist and disappears out the window. She goes,

0:24:21 Lazuli: Alright, okay. [pointing] Ah, Theobald... Gumbar. Night of North-Gumbia.

0:24:28 Theo: [nervously] Yes, uh, Archmage, uh Lazuli.

0:24:30 Lazuli: Yes, yes...you've been sent here as my ward, yes? And you're going to be my something. We're not calling it a squire because I'm not a knight and the knights would get upset if we called it a squire. But as we're all going to say-

0:24:48 Theo: Ward, squire, whatever, whatever… Whatever you want to call me is fine.

0:24:50 Lazuli: That's very interesting. Speaking of what we want to call each other, um… What do you want to call me? I know that some people say I'm a wizard. Other people demand that I'm an alchemist. How do you feel about all that?

0:25:08 Theo: I would just, if I were to refer to you casually, just the Lady Archmage Lazuli, first of her name of the House Rocks.

0:25:20 Murph: Then I say four other things. [cast laughs]

0:25:24 Brennan: You see she says,

0:25:24 Lazuli: Yes, very casual, Sir Theobald.

0:25:28 Theo: I just went through a lot of training and I'm a— a tad nervous. I'm not supposed to say that, I'm sorry.

0:25:35 Lazuli: That's all right, nervousness is good, nervousness means you're paying attention. There's a lot of reason to be nervous right now. You… Have you ever taken a study in magic, interested in magic at all, or you're one of those sort of soldiers that...

0:25:53 Theo: [stammers] I don't— I don't have the mind for it. I'm—

0:25:57 Lazuli: Why do you say that?

0:25:59 Theo: Um...

0:26:00 Lazuli: Looking here, it seems like you're… Recited your oaths, your visuals, your knightly missions. You're not an uneducated warrior.

0:26:10 Theo: I suppose: I don't know what goes into it. It doesn't seem like the type of thing I should be able to do. If that makes sense.

0:26:21 Lazuli: Why?

0:26:24 Murph: Theobald just stares forward for like a full minute.

0:26:31 Theo: I...I guess I haven't asked that.

0:26:36 Lazuli: Well, you seem a very loyal sort and something of a follower. So let me say this, your first order and the first order I give you above all else that you must follow till your dying day on your very knightly vows. Think for yourself and be curious.

0:27:00 Murph: [looks back and forth, then mimes pulling out paper and scribbling] Pull out a scroll, write down her exact words. [Laughter from players]

0:27:04 Brennan: She looks at you and says,

0:27:07 Lazuli: Candia is a small country. If we're going to win this war, we're going to need to do it with all the resources at our disposal. Magic is a lot of things. It's more than I think any priest or mage imagines that it might be. Maybe even more than the spirits who claim to control it can imagine it to be. [genuinely] How exciting. I need more parchment.

0:27:22 Murph: Theobald runs-

0:27:38 Brennan: You run down the hallway and as you're running down the hallway [pants, mimes running frantically] you're back in the cobblestones of Comida. Jet, what is Jet doing as she's running?

0:27:50 Emily: Um, I think Jet is very angry in many directions. I think she's angry— she's still kind of weirdly angry at her dad for throwing her out of the way, out of the fight. I think she's mad at everyone for trying to keep her out of the way and trying to silence her opinions 'cause they're different and not letting her make her own mistakes. And she's really, really fucking angry at the Church. And she's really angry at the Pontifex and she, she wants to destroy them all.

0:28:27 Brennan: You are just like in the front, just seething and you are back in a long hall with sugar glass windows, bright pinks and purples in this huge fencing hall. And you are just lashing out-  You're like probably like fourteen or something like that. Yah yah yah! [while mimicking slashing sword] And you see that in like a very nice, puffy white marshmallow like, fencing attire, is Lord Cruller, who you are just like beating back as your fencing partner as he stumbles backwards and he stumbles back and you see a perfect opportunity. To go for the point, and as he— as you go for it, he's got a dagger up to your throat, a little fencing dagger.

0:29:09 Jet: Ah, well, I suppose that's why you're the teacher and I'm the student.

0:29:14 Calroy: I suppose that wildly slashing with a piercing weapon is maybe… An interesting strategy that I haven't considered before.

0:29:24 Jet: Well, you know what? You could call it unconventional, or maybe your conventions just suck and I'm inventing new ones.

0:29:33 Calroy: We are in for a rough chapter of this dynasty when you take the throne, Your Highness. Excellent work. I mean, you're fast as can be, you're lightning quick, but, I don't know, suppose some conventions are worth accepting, maybe others are worth challenging.

0:29:55 Brennan: You see he gets up and goes over to where some like water and some goblets- Or not water but some cola and some goblets and other things have been placed out. He hands you a little glass before your next bout.

0:30:04 Jet: Ah, looking for a break already.

0:30:09 Calroy: I'm old, be nice to me!

0:30:10 Jet: Okay. I was just trying to keep the competitive spirit going.

0:30:13 Brennan: You see he looks and says,

0:30:18 Calroy: Do you foresee a lot of that in yourself, challenging convention?

0:30:24 Jet: I guess I just think the way that you guys do everything is so dull and there's got to be a better way and I don't see anyone else asking that question.

0:30:36 Calroy: I agree. I agree with you. Look, most people never get the opportunity to challenge convention. You are a princess, you actually have an opportunity to make some real changes. Make things different if you want to. You don't think the commoners out in the field or the minor barons and countesses wouldn't love to see things change? Of course they would. But and actually, if I'm being honest, even princesses have the weight of tradition.

0:31:10 Brennan: You see, he looks up and sees on the words underneath your crest, "in sweetness, there is strength". So he looks up and goes,

0:31:18 Calroy: What do you think about your house words? Is that a tradition worth keeping?

0:31:25 Jet: Hmm… Well, I certainly think that there's moments that sweetness is strength. But I also think that sweetness can be weakness and it is very important to probe the difference between the two.

0:31:35 Brennan: You see his sort of eyes sort of widen for a second.

0:31:41 Calroy: I knew a lot of very sweet people in the war, who died. And I knew a lot of very strong people who lived. And the strong people were often not very sweet. I look forward to a long reign of many interrogations to come. Have at me!

0:32:05 Brennan: He leaps forward (whoo sound effect of flashback ending) and you're back, running through the alleys. And off in the distance you hear the noise of tolling bells from the cathedral where Manta Ray Jack is still in a cell and the bodies of Preston and Lapin lie on the floor of the cathedral. And Theo, I think the last thing as you're running is you feel the last little vestiges of that Fly spell wear off. You guys turn the corner and start approaching the alley. You like, almost can't run anymore. You'll like, you know, get levels of exhaustion and stuff. As you run, you're about to turn the corner and you see the- The little something as you've been running, you've been trying to keep up with equipment and stuff and something falls out of your pocket, Ruby, and begins to fly away on the wind.

0:32:33 Siobhan: What is it?

0:33:01 Brennan: It's a little piece of paper that says “Lapin” on it with the words "For Candia" underneath it.

0:33:08 Siobhan: I try and grab it.

0:33:09 Brennan: Go ahead and make-

0:33:09 Siobhan: Can I use my Mage Hand?

0:33:09 Brennan: Actually, you have Mage Hand, you see the reflection in the window of the spirit of Lazuli moving… [mimes grabbing scroll] and the little scroll… “For Candia.”

0:33:24 Siobhan: I feel so profoundly guilty about his death because we were so horrible to him. And in fact, he was a good man and with a good heart who sacrificed himself so that we could live and if only we'd listened to him more, just because he was boring doesn't mean he wasn't right.

0:33:46 Liam: Fuck him. [shakes self]

0:33:49 Ally: I think Liam is dealing with like anger and stuff, so he can't- All he's replaying is the moment where he sent Preston down to give advantage and I think- I think Brennan's like- Or uh, Liam is- [laughing] Liam's not in a good place right now.

0:34:09 Brennan: [to the camera] For the record, Liam has transitioned to being a Gloom Stalker Ranger for all our mechanics-heads out there. And I think that is happening. Gloom Stalker is an apt name.

0:34:20 Ally: Yeah, yeah.

0:34:20 Siobhan: Liam's goth now.

0:34:23 Ally: I think Liam is intermittently like, crying that kind of cry where all your muscles in your arms flex, and like catching himself and just trying to like keep up with the group and...

0:34:37 Brennan: Little tear tracks do the barber pole red and white [mimes swirl] down Liam's cheeks. You guys, walk- [to Siobhan] You have the page still in your hand. And you turn the corner. And you see a bleary eyed, hallucinating, Thaddeus wobbling with some servants around him that are like trying to hold him up from collapsing. He's partially disrobed, and you see he looks up and says,

0:35:14 Thad: [very French accent] 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, it seems that well, you brought your whole family!

0:35:17 Emily: I take a little too long to compose myself. I take a little blood and smear across my lips like lipstick [Lou exhales in disgust] and then,

0:35:24 Jet: Thaddeus, my love, I need you now more than ever, but first, lend me your carriage.

0:35:38 Thad: Ah, very well, I shall lend you my carriage, for us to bone.

0:35:46 Jet: Um, it's—

0:35:46 Thad: I've been away for a few days.

0:35:50 Theo: Yes, otherwise you wouldn’t say that in front of all of us.

0:35:50 Jet: Point me- Point me in the direction of your carriage.

0:35:53 Thad: Should I not come too if we are to… make out and stuff?

0:35:59 Jet: Just follow behind.

0:36:03 Thad: Okay, 'ello, King Amethar, I want to bang your daughter and then marry her.

0:36:10 Jet: Please Thad, just point me in the direction of your carriage.

0:36:14 Thad: Okay. [Suggestively] With my hand?

0:36:16 Ally: Can I punch Thad so hard his pit flies out and say,

0:36:20 Liam: We need the carriage now. [Laughter from players]

0:36:26 Brennan: [through laughter] Go ahead and make an attack roll.

0:36:29 Ally: An attack roll?

0:36:31 Brennan: Yeah, an attack roll.

0:36:32 Murph: [mutters unintelligibly, amused]

0:36:32 Emily: I do not defend him.

0:36:32 Ally: [screams in delight] Nat 20! [Emily screams]

0:36:32 Lou: What?

0:36:32 Ally: It rolled forever, nat fucking 20! I take- This is a new fucking Liam, baby, wake up, he's violent, he is not okay, he had one friend, that friend got slit in half by a carrot… priest? I need- [breaks off laughing]

0:36:45 Brennan: Liam- You guys have not been checking in with Liam on the run. Liam is on death's door, like how many hit points do you have left?

0:36:51 Ally: 5.

0:36:56 Brennan: He walks up and immediately knocks just fucking whap! [mimes punch]

0:37:00 Murph: Whoa!

0:37:02 Jet: Damn, Liam!

0:37:04 Brennan: Thaddeus is out. It's not cl— Thaddeus is definitely unconscious—

0:37:08 Ally: [laughing] I critted on Thaddeus.

0:37:11 Brennan: -definitely unconscious, maybe dead?

0:37:12 Siobhan: I cast-

0:37:13 Emily: Do I see his carriage anywhere?

0:37:15 Brennan: Well his servants both scream and you see that—

0:37:19 Jet: You speak a word of this and you die.

0:37:22 Brennan: Go ahead and make an Intimidate check with advantage.

0:37:27 Emily: Aw...

0:37:30 Lou: Um, uh-

0:37:31 Brennan: Is that-

0:37:32 Lou: I was gonna give her the help-

0:37:33 Brennan: Oh give her the help action? Yeah.

0:37:33 Emily: Umm, I got...a....a...

0:37:33 Brennan: Call it DC15.

0:37:33 Emily: I got 18.

0:37:34 Brennan: The servants and the one man-at-arms that's there like this, there's a little like avocado soldier goes,

0:37:36 Soldier: Sacre bleu!!

0:37:39 Brennan: And they turn and just- Run away!

0:37:44 Siobhan: Wait, wait, hang on I would like to cast Sleep on them.

0:37:46 Brennan: Oh, go ahead and roll...yeah, go ahead and roll your 5d8.

0:37:50 Siobhan: That's 5d8 right?

0:37:51 Brennan: Yeah between them they don't have- between them, they only have 18 hit points. So you just gotta roll 18 or higher.

0:37:58 Siobhan: Yeah, I for sure do that.

0:38:00 Brennan: They're toast. They all fall asleep.

0:38:03 Siobhan: Okay, so what I would like to do is cast Disguise Self on myself. So I look like Thad.

0:38:09 Brennan: [shocked and delighted] Okay, yeah.

0:38:09 Ally: Aw, yeah, hell yeah.

0:38:09 Brennan: Absolutely, yes.

0:38:14 Siobhan: Great, so, and I also cast Prestidigitation so that I smell of avocado, a like slightly now overripe avocado.

0:38:22 Brennan: Amazing, you walk out with this Candian entourage.

0:38:25 Emily: I guess I put my arm around Thad and act like we're a couple.

0:38:29 Jet: [unconvincingly] Thad, that's so funny. I just love you.

0:38:33 Ruby as Thad: [French accent] Oh, I love you too. Hee hee hee, hon hon hon, mwah, mwah.

0:38:38 Brennan: You walk ar-

0:38:38 Emily: I say you're a better Thad than Thad was.

0:38:40 Brennan: You walk around the corner, you see, like, like three more soldiers. I mean, he was only- He was not a major lord or anything. So you see, there's like three more soldiers and some more servants. Go ahead and make a Deception check with advantage.

0:38:56 Siobhan: Great. Oh, yeah, baby, that's a 23.

0:38:59 Brennan: Uh, cool. You walk up and they say,

0:39:00 Servant: [French accent] Ah my good Lord Thaddeus, I see that the Princess Jet of the House of Rocks is with you?

0:39:07 Ruby as Thad: That is right. I am off to my carriage so that we can bone.

0:39:13 Servant: This all checks out.

0:39:15 Theo: They're going to get married and we're going to witness the wedding.

0:39:16 Ruby as Thad: Oui oui! To the carriage!

0:39:17 Amethar: Yes, they have my blessing.

0:39:20 Servant: Wow, this is huge! The dad is here!

0:39:27 Ruby as Thad: Yes, we must go toute suite before anybody changes their minds!

0:39:30 Servant: Very well, to the cathedral of Saint Arugula! [All players cry out no repeatedly]

0:39:32 Ruby as Thad: We are going back-

0:39:33 Jet: We just need the carriage!

0:39:34 Theo: This is a beach wedding.

0:39:36 Ruby as Thad: Yes, we are- want a beach wedding!

0:39:38 Jet: I'm pregnant, it's a shotgun wedding.

0:39:43 Servant: Holy crap! I was in that alley three minutes ago! You already know you are pregnant?

0:39:44 Ruby as Thad: I a— I—

0:39:45 Jet: I am with little Thad.

0:39:47 Servant: Honestly, very disappointing, my lord.

0:39:54 Ruby as Thad: [with finger guns] Ahhh, thank you. Tell everybody how quick I am! And my dick is very small!

0:40:02 Servant: All right! Well, it has been known in our lands for some time!

0:40:09 Ruby as Thad: Ahh! Anyway, we must run, to the carriage! Don’t tell anybody! I don't want my parents to know.

0:40:15 Servant: Okay! I don't get it but it's not my place to ask!

0:40:21 Brennan: [through laughter] You see that, you all pile into this avocado carriage and take off down the street!

0:40:25 Theo: Okay, well done.

0:40:27 Brennan: Uhh-

0:40:29 Emily: You all laughed when I suggested this, but did it not work so far? [cast laughs]

0:40:34 Brennan: Uh, okay, so just you Candians are in the back of this carriage, 'cause there's not enough space for anyone else because Amethar takes up like half the carriage.

0:40:47 Siobhan: Yeah I feel like I'm steering the carriage.

0:40:48 Murph: Oh cause you're in-

0:40:49 Siobhan: Because I am disguised.

0:40:52 Brennan: Okay so you have, you have one, the rest are behind you, keeping up with— There's one avocado soldier on your left and one man-at-arms- or one servant on your right.

0:41:00 Siobhan: Yeah. Uh,

0:41:03 Ruby as Thad: Clear the road, get— make sure they— they're clear for us.

0:41:07 Brennan: Okay, awesome.

0:41:09 Siobhan: I don't speak Vegetanian, also.

0:41:12 Brennan: Oh. Well do you, you speak Fructerano-

0:41:14 Siobhan: I do speak Fructerano.

0:41:15 Brennan: Which is, an avocado’s—

0:41:16 Siobhan: He’s a fruit.

0:41:16 Brennan: He’s a fruit! He's from a border— a border county.

0:41:17 Emily: I speak Vege- I speak Vegetanian, I can feed you a couple words.

0:41:20 Siobhan: Great.

0:41:23 Brennan: Um, okay, awesome. Um, you guys head out and they start clearing the road. You see that people start saying,

0:41:29 People: Clear the way for Lord Strongpit! And his soon to be w-

0:41:34 Ruby as Thad: Shh! It's a secret!

0:41:36 Announcer: Ohh!

0:41:37 Ruby as Thad: It's a shotgun wedding, shush!

0:41:37 Announcer: Okay, very—

0:41:38 Ruby: Break the rules! It's sexy.

0:41:38 Announcer: Very cool, very sexy.

0:41:41 Ruby as Thad: It's sexy.

0:41:44 Announcer: Ver- Very cool. Okay, well we are  going to surprise everybody. Make way for just the Lord Strongpit.

0:41:50 Ruby as Thad: It's me! [waving] I have a tiny penis!

0:41:54 Announcer: The lord of the tiny little dick! Make way, make way!

0:41:58 Brennan: Cool, so this… happens. [continued laughter from players]

0:42:03 Brennan: Where- So here's the question: what road are you guys taking?

0:42:11 Siobhan: Mm, I mean I feel like we should get out of the city, and then get off the roads. Right?

0:42:13 Emily: Yeah.

0:42:15 Lou: That feels right.

0:42:16 Emily: I think so too.

0:42:17 Siobhan: 'Cause I feel like if we travel along the roads that's where- That's where they'll be looking for us, Liam is such a good… uh…

0:42:23 Ally: Well I can… I can cast Pass Without a Trace on our whole party and there is-

0:42:26 Siobhan: Right, but if we're on the road they'll be looking for us.

0:42:29 Emily: Yeah.

0:42:29 Siobhan: So…

0:42:29 Emily: May- Yeah maybe we need to-

0:42:29 Siobhan: Maybe we can like travel adjacent to the road but we should like…

0:42:34 Murph: Yeah let's just take-  Take the road- Get away for a little bit and then—

0:42:34 Siobhan: Once we get out of the city you should abandon the cab- carriage. Disguise Self only lasts for one hour anyway.

0:42:41 Murph: So why don't we ride for an hour.

0:42:42 Siobhan: Great.

0:42:43 Murph: Just out of the city.

0:42:44 Brennan: Awesome great. Um, uh, which… direction are you guys going to go?

0:42:52 Murph: Great question.

0:42:54 Siobhan: Fuck! I feel like everybody's against us.

0:42:55 Theo: Do we go to— do we go to your uncle, my lord?

0:42:57 Amethar: I mean, at this point we need allies and friends, and the only place we know those things exist are home.

0:43:08 Theo: How do you feel about that, Prince Liam?

0:43:11 Liam: I think that sounds great.

0:43:12 Ally: Can I roll a Stealth check so I can cry by myself hidden somewhere in this carriage?

0:43:17 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.

0:43:18 Ally: 3.

0:43:20 Brennan: You loudly- You like just—

0:43:23 Liam: I think that sounds great! [immediately starts bawling]

0:43:27 Murph: I think I- I say this not looking at Liam, at all, I say this to everyone else,

0:43:31 Theo: Just so everyone knows, nothing that happened back there is anyone's fault. Lapin was a good bunny. He— he made his decisions. I misjudged him. He's— he was a great person and he saved us all. But he made that choice, and you two saved your father. I was... I have to be honest, I didn't think King Amethar was going to make it out of there. And, um, [to Jet] I fear my pragmatism might sometimes just be pessimism, and you've given me something to think about.

0:44:16 Jet: There was part of me that wonders if King Amethar didn't want to make it out of there.

0:44:22 Amethar: You asking me that?

0:44:24 Jet: In a roundabout way, yeah.

0:44:29 Amethar: [quietly] Well, then, in a roundabout way, I'll tell you that when you find out that you've put everyone you love, your entire country, your friends in a place of danger, maybe yes, maybe I thought that finally you might be able to escape and define a future for Candia that I could not ruin.

0:45:15 Jet: But you realize that you're the reason we escaped.

0:45:21 Amethar: Well, at some point, it was clear to me that I had to help.

0:45:34 Jet: I'm glad you made the decision you made, that's all I'm saying.

0:45:37 Amethar: Thank you.

0:45:44 Brennan: Yak returns to you, I'm going to make a luck check now. I'm going to do it in front of the board.

0:45:50 Lou: Sweet.

0:45:53 Siobhan: Alright

0:45:55 Lou: I love that.

0:45:58 Emily: Not Box of Doom, but in front of the board.

0:45:59 Siobhan: No cheating.

0:46:00 Brennan: In front of the board, not Box of Doom, we're just gonna do it right here, we'll catch it.

0:46:05 Murph: Map roll.

0:46:05 Brennan: Little map roll.

0:46:05 Lou: Classic map roll. The die rolls all the way off the map and over to the edge of the table in front of Siobhan.

0:46:08 Siobhan: 6.

0:46:09 Murph: Yikes.

0:46:11 Brennan: Ok, I'll take that back.

0:46:11 Emily: Lucky 6, isn't that what they say?

0:46:12 Ally: Yeah Lucky 6!

0:46:13 Siobhan: Yeah Lucky number 6!

0:46:13 Ally: Definitely, yeah definitely!

0:46:13 Siobhan: 6 is ace.

0:46:13 Lou: 6 is good!

0:46:13 Emily: Yeah. Get your kicks- (mumbles "on Route 66")

0:46:22 Brennan: You guys are up near the Great Pyramid of Food which is in the very middle of this. I mean that's where Thaddeus was waiting there 'cause that's where the banquet and everything was. There's a lot of city in between you guys and any edge of the city. On a roll of 6, which is not a natural 1, what you guys see is, far away- You ran uphill away from the cathedral of Saint Arugula which is farther down in the city. The Glucian Road, so the road leading east from Comida that eventually goes back up to Castle Candy, right? You already see ban- Or Yak saw Imperial banners there, of like the army moving along that road already. It looks like- It looks like they went straight there. They- in other words, it looks like they assumed you guys would make a break for it rather than go deeper into the city. So going for Thad is actually something that saved you because they got word fast through some kind of courier or like a beacon system or shining a mirror across the city or something to the edges of the city. Comida is- is too huge of a- It's not a walled city. It's not like that. But there are garrisons and things out in the countryside. There's not this thing of like, close hemmed in walls and then freedom, but rather just like so many Imperial troops so many places to the direct North so that the shortest route to Candia, probably doesn't have as many Imperial troops in it. But you also know that part of the reason that Comida is the capital is that it's right next to the lands of Lord Uvano. So the lands immediately to the North of you are now directly inherited by Plumbeline so the... Any place you go north of here is going to have people that are loyal first and foremost to her. The places Yak saw and again, this is on a 6, the places that Yak saw that were the least populated by threat were the road going South to Brightgarden, towards the capital of the- Or to the Holy Seed of the Bulbian Church. And then there's no highway going there but—

0:47:43 Emily: Greenhold?

0:49:05 Brennan: Greenhold is way to the East, Brightgarden is the one- is the seat of the Pontifex. So the most potential for finding and capture waits on the Glucian Road or going into deeper into Fructera. The paths that are the safest to travel right now-

0:49:17 Siobhan: Mm-hmm.

0:49:30 Brennan: Theoretic- According to what Yak saw of the movements of these like Imperial banners and standards would be the road to Brightgarden. Other than that, it looks like they're going to the edges of Comida but not policing the harbor. There are no troops moving into the water or into the harbor.

0:49:49 Theo: We could, we had, we did tell Cal to get a boat ready in case.

0:49:55 Jet: Although if we went to Brightgarden we could assassinate the Pontifex.

0:49:58 Amethar: I don't think— As much—

0:49:59 Ruby: The Pontifex is here, waiting-

0:49:59 Jet: She probably goes home first, to Brightgarden.

0:50:00 Theobald: I think- I think we should make sure the kingdom doesn’t fall apart.

0:50:04 Siobhan: I mean, I’m driving the car so I’m not even here for this conversation.

0:50:06 Amethar: I'm worried about all- Everyone at home who doesn't know that they are currently at war. So if you want, Jet, to go-

0:50:19 Jet: I’ll follow a dangerous road.

0:50:21 Theobald: I think we can perhaps, we can get there by sea. I think our choices are either south to Brightgarden or through the sea.

0:50:30 Jet: I’ve never-

0:50:30 Theobald: Liam, Jet, do you have an opinion?

0:50:36 Jet: For me the Pontifex is merely a side effect of the Bulb itself. So, my enemy’s everywhere.

0:50:47 Liam: [crying] I agree my enemies are everywhere.

0:50:52 Emily: I see this and then I start to cry also.

0:50:54 Murph: I think Theo starts to cry a little bit too.

0:50:58 Theobald: Everyone keep it together, okay?

0:51:06 Liam: Ahhh!

0:51:09 Jet: I fucking hate the Bulb!

0:51:11 Theobald: I was so mean to him! I was so mean to him, and he was a better kingsguard than I was. My God!

0:51:12 Jet: [crying] Lapin deserved a greater death.

0:51:13 Theobald: He did. Stupid fucking carrot.

0:51:14 Liam: [quietly] Fuck that carrot.

0:51:16 Theobald: Fucking carrot killed the rabbit.

0:51:16 Jet: Fuck that Bulb.

0:51:19 Liam: I’m gonna kill the carrot.

0:51:21 Theobald: [calming down] All right, I do think that as much as we all want revenge, Candia comes first.

0:51:32 Liam: I got a lot of aggression out of myself by pretty much killing that avocado. So, I’m good to go.

0:51:41 Theobald: Yeah, Liam, that was insane.

0:51:51 Amethar: Yeah, I thought you were a seed guy.

0:51:51 Theobald: I think you might be a war guy.

0:51:51 Liam: I think I might be a war guy now!

0:51:51 Amethar: I think you’re a war guy.

0:51:51 Ally: He starts crying, and repeating, “I’m a war guy.” He’s just bawling and stuck in a repetitive, like, lock of saying,

0:51:54 Liam: I’m a war guy.

0:52:00 Brennan: I’m actually… [laughs] gonna roll real quick in front of the board. I'll tell you what I'm rolling in a second. 2. 9. 13.

0:52:11 Emily: These are death saves for Thad, aren't they?

0:52:15 Brennan: 15. Two successes, two failures. Emily yells a little and falls back in her chair at the last roll.

0:52:20 Murph: Thad lives!

0:52:22 Brennan: Thad lives.

0:52:24 Lou: Thad lives.

0:52:25 Jet: I feel— I know that a lot of you judge a lot of the things I've said and done but the way I treated Thad is probably what I, would have been my greatest regret so far in life.

0:52:38 Amethar: I was gonna say I thought you were about to say what's most appropriate, and I was going to agree with you, but.

0:52:42 Jet: I think I worked out my own shit on him.

0:52:47 Amethar: Yeah. I mean, I guess I am glad he didn’t like, stand in that alley for two days to get punched so hard he died. That maybe you’re right.

0:52:55 Liam: Was a blow, lethal blow.

0:52:55 Ruby: Killing blow?

0:52:59 Liam: Yeah, killing blow. Whoa.

0:53:01 Ally: I just look at my hands.

0:53:05 Murph: I guess we can- Oh, you know what I'll send a Message to Ruby and ask her to weigh in.

0:53:10 Theobald: Princess Ruby, we're considering,

0:53:13 Murph: And I still referred everybody by their titles cause in Theo’s mind everything's the same.

0:53:17 Jet: I would prefer if you called me Bastard Jet from now on.

0:53:23 Theobald: As you wish, Your Highness.

0:53:23 Emily: As I say that I reveal a tattoo ‘Bastard Jet’.

0:53:27 Amethar: How? When?

0:53:31 Liam: That’s up your arm? That’s such a long tattoo to go—

0:53:33 Theobald: She commanded me to use a cantrip to do that.

0:53:35 Murph: I send a message to Ruby and just ask if she'd be okay with going through the harbor.

0:53:45 Ruby: If we go through the harbor we'd have to pass the Yogurt Shoals and that's where Lord Bleu is from.

0:53:51 Theobald: I think we have enemies everywhere.

0:53:53 Liam: Well, who do we wanna alert first, the castle or go up to the Great Stone Candy Mountains and get allies.

0:54:00 Brennan: As Liam mentions that, traveling from Castle Candy to Comida by the Sucrosi and then Glucian Road or going north through the Great Stone Candy Mountains then traveling by sea is about an equal amount of time, but if you're just going to the Great Stone Candy Mountains it's actually faster to go by sea.

0:54:25 Ruby: Then let's go by sea.

0:54:25 Jet: I want to go by sea.

0:54:27 Theobald: Yeah.

0:54:28 Jet: These are very very sad times, I think we all have a fun boat ride. I think we deserve a fun boat ride.

0:54:33 Ruby: I think that's a bad reason to go by sea but-

0:54:36 Jet: Hey, I got us the fuck out of here.

0:54:40 Liam: Actually, I just remembered we might not be able to go by sea because Preston gets seasick. [thinks about what he said and starts crying]

0:54:49 Ally: I grab my bedroll and I cut it in half so it's Preston's size and I’m just holding my bedroll.

0:54:51 Ruby: Where are you gonna sleep?

0:54:53 Theo: Liam, would you like to hold Sprinkle?

0:54:55 Liam: Yes.

0:54:58 Ally: And I hold you. I set Sprinkle down on a chair and I just hold you.

0:55:07 Siobhan: Alright, docks it is.

0:55:07 Ruby as Thad: To the the docks! Clear the road!

0:55:14 Thad’s Servant: We’re going to the docks for a beach wedding!

0:55:14 Ruby as Thad: We’re going to the docks for a beach wedding!

0:55:14 Theobald: This all adds up!

0:55:14 Jet: [flatly] I’m pregnant.

0:55:23 Brennan: You guys take your carriage down to the harbor. You see tons of ships here, there's fruit ships mostly obviously dairy ships because the dairy sailors are sort of in every port in the world. What do you guys looking for doing as you arrive here at the harbor? You probably have about 15 minutes left in this Disguise Self.

0:55:43 Theobald: Do we have any friends out here?

0:55:45 Jet: I say we just hijack a ship. But except what is it called when you hijack something but nobody gets hurt? When you steal it.

0:55:54 Amethar: I honestly had no idea.

0:55:55 Jet: Grand theft boat.

0:55:57 Amethar: I, people always get hurt when I try and steal stuff.

0:55:58 Ally: What time of day is it right now?

0:56:01 Brennan: Morning.

0:56:02 Siobhan: Or midday, okay.

0:56:03 Emily: Let’s find a cruise ship.

0:56:06 Siobhan: There’s no such a thing as cruise ships in the medieval period.

0:56:07 Amethar: We need a small boat.

0:56:08 Theobald: Yeah, we need a small boat.

0:56:09 Amethar: I feel like we milk this disguise for as long as we can and then Pass Without Trace.

0:56:16 Theobald: What if we find some unsavory types that we can just pay.

0:56:19 Ruby: Yeah, let's do that. Do you have money?

0:56:21 Amethar: I mean, not—

0:56:21 Jet: Mercenaries.

0:56:22 Ruby: Not really. Do you have money, Theo?

0:56:23 Murph: Would we have any money on us?

0:56:26 Lou: I mean:

0:56:26 Siobhan: I don’t have any money.

0:56:26 Brennan: I would say you guys would have candian things. What does it say on your character sheet?

0:56:32 Murph: Have I have 10-

0:56:33 Lou: I have 12- 25.

0:56:33 Ally: Same.

0:56:33 Siobhan: I have nothing.

0:56:34 Brennan: To charter a ship for voyage- The issue is you guys don't carry money on you, that stuff gets taken care of.

0:56:41 Murph: Okay.

0:56:41 Brennan: You know-

0:56:42 Jet: I have a skill I can I can try and trade for passage.

0:56:45 Amethar: Okay, well—

0:56:47 Liam: Don’t!

0:56:48 Jet: No, it’s not that!

0:56:52 Emily: I have an alchemist kit.

0:56:53 Ally: Don't just start that now. That's something you need to like spend a few months thinking about.

0:56:57 Siobhan: You need legitimate- Selling your body-

0:57:01 Jet: I’m not a Prince like you, okay? I'm a bastard, I need to do what I can to get-

0:57:03 Ruby: You are, you are so close in line to the throne now, it’s just between you and your shitty brothers. Liam’s eyes widen in realization.

0:57:09 Lou: What is— can we do Perception checks?

0:57:10 Murph: Yeah, can we see like, who’s around?

0:57:11 Brennan: Yeah, anyone here give me a Perception check who wants to.

0:57:15 Siobhan: Can I do one with the help action-

0:57:16 Brennan: I'm also gonna say something right now which is just to, I know that we're all candy and food people but given how brutal I have been about like rules this season, I am going to say does anyone here have proficiency with water vehicles?

0:57:30 Siobhan: Why would we have that?

0:57:32 Brennan: Well-

0:57:32 Emily: I have tarot cards.

0:57:35 Lou: I can cook.

0:57:36 Brennan: Cool. I'm just gonna say right now-

0:57:36 Siobhan: We can’t just steal a boat.

0:57:40 Brennan: Stealing a boat would keep you alive long enough for the first storm, where you would all die.

0:57:43 Siobhan: Great.

0:57:46 Brennan: It’s just like in real life if a bunch of people looked at a sailing ship and were like “let's do it!” and then, blam.

0:57:52 Siobhan: Okay, great. Can I do it with advantage with Yak’s help?

0:57:54 Brennan: Yes you can.

0:57:55 Siobhan: Great.

0:57:56 Lou: 16.

0:57:57 Emily: 4.

0:57:57 Siobhan: Oh God even with advantage I—

0:57:59 Murph: 21.

0:57:59 Brennan: 21?

0:58:01 Siobhan: I got a 7.

0:58:01 Ally: For what? Perception?

0:58:02 Murph: Yeah.

0:58:02 Siobhan: Rough. This box is cursed. I'm not using it anymore.

0:58:06 Emily: I don’t use it either.

0:58:07 Ally: 14.

0:58:09 Brennan: Okay 16 and 21 beat the DC so I think Amethar and Theo, you guys see a lot of merchant vessels here. A ton of Imperial ships over in one section of the harbor. You see flags of House Cheddar and the Dairy Islands. You see that the Colby is still there, which is Annabelle’s ship. You see a little ways away from that are some other Cheddar ships and some ships of various like vassal houses of House Cheddar, you know House Bleu among them. But you see, the only ship here you know, is the Colby because you guys have either spent time- That was you, know Annabelle inherited that ship from her father, you both been on the Colby before.

0:59:03 Jet: I gave her the boon.

0:59:05 Theobald: But she- And she used it to-

0:59:07 Jet: And she used it.

0:59:07 Theobald: To get a religious person into-

0:59:14 Amethar: The Church, or into-

0:59:15 Theobald: Into a marriage with Coldbottle.

0:59:16 Jet: But I'm saying I still had a truce with her that—

0:59:19 Amethar: I mean, Theobald also made a fool of himself the last time. Don't you remember?

0:59:24 Theobald: I didn’t—

0:59:26 Ruby: Was she there in the church? She wasn't, was she?

0:59:27 Amethar: No, she was there the last time I saw Gustavo.

0:59:30 Theobald: And I questioned her and she was quite sassy with me, and, um...

0:59:35 Amethar: She wasn't sassy.

0:59:36 Theobald: She was a bit sassy. Liam, you were there!

0:59:40 Liam: Yeah, I was there, I'll talk to her, fine. [cast laughs]

0:59:43 Amethar: No! No!

0:59:45 Ally: Can I try to find her?

0:59:46 Amethar: No!

0:59:46 Ally: Can I try to find her?

0:59:47 Brennan: Okay, so you guys it's about, you have about 10 minutes left on this Disguise Self. You're still in the carriage, kind of like going past the harbor, do you want- You're running out of time on this spell. So, the Colby is there. Also, who got a 21? You got a 21?

1:00:03 Murph: Yeah.

1:00:04 Brennan: Sprinkle goes,

1:00:05 Sprinkle: (babbling)

1:00:05 Brennan: And you see that there are little like white and yellow and blue banners and like more white and orange and blue banners, and there's some little confetti there going up and you see a Stilton and Primsy being wed on the deck of the ship and it's a captain's wedding. By Annabelle.

1:00:27 Jet: I could crash a wedding.

1:00:29 Theobald: We should sneak.

1:00:31 Jet: I could crash a wedding.

1:00:33 Ally: I cast a Pass Without a Trace on all of us.

1:00:36 Siobhan: Yeah, can we get, can we sneak, stowaway?

1:00:40 Brennan: Oh, shit, you guys wanna stow away?

1:00:43 Lou: I don't know. Are they leaving?

1:00:45 Brennan: Well, you, you don't know if- Give me a- What's the check that I want here? Give me an Insight check.

1:00:52 Emily: 11.

1:00:56 Siobhan: 8.

1:01:00 Murph: 22.

1:01:01 Brennan: 22? Theo as the one— As the one like working class guy here, you notice the last couple boxes being moved from the dock up onto the ship. So they're— they’re- It looks like they're preparing to cast off.

1:01:15 Theobald: Yeah, there was ever time for us to board a ship now is...

1:01:18 Ruby: Does it seem like Primsy and Stilton are gonna get off or they…?

1:01:20 Liam: Yeah, do you think the first time will be any good? Brennan, registering what Ally said, laughs and has to look down.

1:01:27 Amethar: Or you think they're gonna—

1:01:31 Jet: Liam, your pig just died.

1:01:34 Brennan: Wooof. “Do you think they're gonna get off?” Yeah, do you think-

1:01:39 Lou: Yeah, can we make an Insight check to see if they’re gonna—

1:01:42 Ally: Can I make an Insight with advantage to see if Primsy will cum?

1:01:43 Lou: [crosstalk] Are they gonna fuck the first time?

1:01:44 Murph: Jesus. Brennan bangs the table with his fist in defeat.

1:01:45 Lou: Okay, I think we're gonna—

1:01:45 Brennan: Hoo!

1:01:46 Emily: I think we're gonna- Yeah, are there any um, are there any servants or anything?

1:01:50 Brennan: Oh, yeah. Well, you got a high roll on that. So you see a- You see a worried looking Sir Morris Brie, who is now—

1:01:58 Siobhan: Oh, he’s the buddy of-

1:02:01 Brennan: The buddy- Amethar’s old buddy who is like looking around kind of worried on the dock he's looking around and he's asking some stuff to some of the sailors here.

1:02:07 Emily: He’s looking for Manta Ray Jack.

1:02:08 Murph: Yeah.

1:02:09 Brennan: Uh you see- But yeah, you see Annabelle finishing marrying them you see that there are some- Some House Bleu soldiers and people here as well. But but you guys cast Pass Without a Trace, correct?

1:02:22 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:02:22 Brennan: Liam you reach into some dark part of yourself, it's like a cold minty blast of air and you guys are- Just watch like the shadows congregate around you. I'm gonna do- We're gonna do a group Stealth check here so the way group checks work is we just need half of the people to succeed which in this case means three out of five people need to succeed on this Stealth check. I know the passive perception of the people on board the ship. So you guys go ahead and roll a Stealth check

1:02:54 Ally: If we get a plus 10 to our Stealth for Pass Without a Trace, does that count for all of us?

1:02:58 Brennan: That counts for all of you and it adds plus 10 to the roll.

1:03:04 Siobhan: Thank god.

1:03:04 Brennan: You're gonna-

1:03:04 Emily: 25.

1:03:05 Brennan: Group checks cannot be rolled with advantage so you’re...

1:03:07 Murph: I was gonna roll- I was gonna say I roll with disadvantage ‘cause I have plate, can I use Sprinkle to just cancel it?

1:03:14 Brennan: Oh! You're gonna cancel it yeah, absolutely.

1:03:14 Murph: Great.

1:03:15 Siobhan: I got a 23.

1:03:20 Brennan: 23.

1:03:22 Emily: 25.

1:03:23 Brennan: 25.

1:03:23 Murph: Uh, fuck-

1:03:24 Ally: 19

1:03:25 Murph: 12?

1:03:26 Lou: I get plus 10?

1:03:27 Brennan: Plus 10.

1:03:28 Lou: 31.

1:03:29 Ally: I’m sorry, 29.

1:03:30 Brennan: 29? Okay, cool.

1:03:30 Ally: I didn’t add the plus 10.

1:03:30 Brennan: Even with the- I'm gonna say Amethar, you just pick Theo up so he stops moving and just like—

1:03:38 Amethar: [whispering] Shut up. Shut up.

1:03:45 Theobald: It’s fine, they’ll think there’s something banging into the boat, it’s just metal!

1:03:45 Amethar: Shut up, shut up. No they won’t!

1:03:45 Theobald: It’s just metal!

1:03:45 Ruby: Everyone, be quiet!

1:03:45 Brennan: Cool! So what is your guys' strategy, cause it is daylight. What's your guys’ strategy for getting into the ship? Are you gonna try to just go like up the ropes or you're going to try to get into the like cargo?

1:03:56 Emily: I wanna- I just really want to dive into the- Pulp Bay.

1:04:01 Siobhan: We can't-

1:04:01 Murph: I think let's try to get into the cargo.

1:04:03 Siobhan: Let’s get into the cargo.

1:04:04 Lou: The cargo.

1:04:04 Ally: Yeah, yeah.

1:04:04 Brennan: Cool.

1:04:06 Emily: I just wanted to feel the pulp bay.

1:04:08 Brennan: Um, awesome. You guys don't appear to be spotted on your way down. I mean it's a busy, busy docks, busy harbor you have this like weird magical aura around you. Just go ahead and give me, uh, I need a Strength check to just open one of the crates up.

1:04:23 Lou: Nat 20. Brennan sputters in shock.r

1:04:25 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:04:28 Brennan: Yeah, Amethar you go over, all these crates are like nailed down, ready for cargo, you just get your finger just, just your fingers and pull up all the nails.

1:04:33 Amethar: Everybody in!

1:04:38 Brennan: You guys go in. You have to kick out a bunch of- Do you go for one of the like supply and equipment crates one of the food crates?

1:04:48 Murph: Which ones? What kind of- It doesn't look like food that is being stored for a long time or does it look like food that people are going to access like right now? Like is it stuff they're going to take back to the Dairy Islands?

1:04:59 Brennan: Give me a Perception check.

1:05:00 Emily: If there's a toilet paper one I'll go in that.

1:05:02 Siobhan: Whichever one is the heaviest, because we're heavy.

1:05:06 Brennan: That makes sense. So go ahead and give me your Perception check, if you'd be so kind.

1:05:10 Murph: Oh my god, okay. 18.

1:05:15 Brennan: Yeah, you look at one, there is a, there's a big heavy one that is full of fresh drinking milk like what the dairy sailors would drink on their way.

1:05:25 Murph: Okay.

1:05:25 Brennan: Because you can't just drink out of the ocean.

1:05:27 Murph: Got it.

1:05:28 Brennan: So you could kick some of those out and it would be a very heavy crate that you guys could hide in.

1:05:33 Siobhan: Great. And then once we get in, I'd like to go into Yak’s consciousness and circle so I can see what's going on.

1:05:39 Murph: Ah, that’s smart.

1:05:45 Brennan: Incredible, you see Yak go (squeak). Sort of preens his old feathers and takes off. He goes way the hell up. Nobody can see a little Candian falcon flying overhead. You guys get into this big crate.

1:06:00 Murph: I think I'll leave Sprinkle outside because that's a good idea. So if I hear anything I’ll—

1:06:06 Brennan: Cool give me go ahead and give me a Stealth check for Sprinkle. He's still got Pass Without a Trace as well.

1:06:11 Murph: Okay come on please. Oh, great. Would his Dex be the same as mine?

1:06:17 Brennan: Yeah.

1:06:17 Murph: Okay, so he got a 24.

1:06:18 Brennan: Awesome. Ah, you guys get in the crate, about 10 minutes later. I'm gonna say Sprinkle just like inchworms up the gangplank like a little weird animal, you feel Sprinkle in your head going,

1:06:27 Sprinkle: (happy babbling, laughs)

1:06:36 Brennan: Go hide somewhere.

1:06:36 Murph: He is having fun.

1:06:41 Brennan: Yak flies overhead. You hear joyous cheering.

1:06:47 Annabelle: I now you pronounce you man and wife.

1:06:49 Brennan: Cheer. You hear the noise of steps coming down the gangplank.

1:06:54 Stilton: [French babbling]

1:06:59 Brennan: In Lacra and you hear Stilton Cordeau speak to Primsy Coldbottle and say,

1:07:07 Stilton: My wife, my darling, I shall be behind you holding you in the center of my heart.

1:07:15 Brennan: You see, she says

1:07:17 Primsy: Right you’re, I know you have to stay as captain of your boat, but I shall see you back in Lacramor. I'm so glad the Pontifex saw fit to allow us to- Allow us to be together.

1:07:29 Brennan: You hear a little gentle kiss on the lady— on the Duchess Primsy's hand and Stilton walks away with- You hear him walking away with your- With his House Bleu soldiers. Primsy goes back up the gangplank. You hear Sir Morris Brie go.

1:07:43 Morris: Right, look, has anyone seen eyes on Manta Ray? He should have posted up by now.

1:07:49 Siobhan: Can I Message him? You don't need line of sight for Message.

1:07:53 Brennan: Okay, yeah, you can Message him.

1:07:55 Siobhan: Can I Message him,

1:07:56 Ruby: Manta Ray is captured, Castle Candy— The House of Rocks has fallen and all is lost. Help.

1:08:03 Brennan: You hear him go silent.

1:08:03 Siobhan: In Lacra.

1:08:03 Brennan: In Lacra, ooh! You hear a voice come back and say,

1:08:10 Morris: Who now speaks to me and how?

1:08:16 Ruby: A friend.

1:08:19 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Persuasion check.

1:08:24 Siobhan: 20, not nat.

1:08:27 Brennan: [takes an impressed breath] You see he says,

1:08:27 Morris: Where's, spirit, where is Manta Ray being held?

1:08:31 Ruby: In the cathedral.

1:08:37 Morris: If what you say is true, I will know that the spirits of the wide seas speak to me now. If what you say is false, I shall find the witch that has cast this spell. If anything has befallen Manta Ray, I will hold it over your head.

1:08:53 Ruby: You're a good man.

1:08:53 Brennan: Okay. I'm gonna do— this is such a cool move. I'm going to do a roll in front of the board with advantage. You guys want— I'm gonna say an 11 or higher definitely, a 15 or higher means very good things. Okay, 12.

1:09:13 Siobhan: 12, alright.

1:09:13 Lou: It’s 11 or higher.

1:09:13 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:09:20 Ally: That's kind of our luck, remember your two nat ones?

1:09:20 Siobhan: Yeah, yeah, I’ll take an 11 or higher.

1:09:24 Brennan: The ship is held, for some time. You hear a voice- You guys are actually brought on board the ship and you are deep in the cargo hold, so you can’t hear anything. Yak and Sprinkle over here and stuff and I'm going to bend the familiar rules a little bit just to allow you guys to hear what happens on the deck of the ship. Sprinkle, hidden away in the shadows (imitates babbling) and Yak circling overhead hear Annabelle shouting angrily going,

1:10:05 Annabelle: Right, someone tell me where the hell Morris and Manta Ray are, we're gonna lose the tide if we don't set sail right now!

1:10:13 Brennan: You hear a messenger come up and start talking to her and the messenger goes like- One of her sailors goes,

1:10:17 Cheddar Sailor: My Lady, the Emperor is dead. And Candia has declared war. The King Amethar is a false king. He's been exiled from the Church and Duke Joren Jawbreaker rules in Candia.

1:10:35 Brennan: You see Annabelle is just stunned and says,

1:10:40 Annabelle: What does this mean?

1:10:41 Brennan: She says,

1:10:41 Cheddar Sailor: I don't know. There is no one atop the Concordant Throne. The Concord hangs in the balance in open war with Candia.

1:10:45 Brennan: Annabelle goes,

1:10:48 Annabelle: What do we do?

1:10:53 Brennan: And you see that they-  She tries to look at Primsy, Annabelle- Primsy looks at Annabelle and goes,

1:11:01 Primsy: Um, right. As Duchess of Lacramor I, um, I— I— I— Uh, we should— our allies in Candia— if we were to... The Concord prevents, uhm...

1:11:20 Brennan: And you see that she just starts shaking and Anabelle comes over, puts a hand on her. Another sailor walks up and says,

1:11:27 Cheddar Sailor: My lady.

1:11:27 Brennan: You see there is a stained with like, like a deep yellow curdled milk which you recognize as blood. A letter comes up and says,

1:11:40 Cheddar Sailor: My lady, from Sir Brie.

1:11:43 Brennan: And she opens the letter, looks at it and says,

1:11:47 Annabelle: We need to leave at once, anchors up, away. Lower the sails!

1:11:52 Brennan: And you guys feel the ship begin to move and head out to open water. Or open milk in this case. Uh, how long do you guys stay in a box on a sailing ship?

1:12:10 Lou: An hour? I feel like an hour.

1:12:10 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:12:13 Lou: Before—

1:12:13 Siobhan: We’re cramping?

1:12:13 Lou: Yeah.

1:12:16 Brennan: Um, you guys are very smart to have said an hour because about 30 minutes later the ship is boarded by Imperial soldiers. [rolls something] You hear a voice of— Imperial Vegetanian and Ceresian soldiers march through the hold. They walk over, you hear the voice of Commander Grissini say,

1:12:49 Grissini: Here, in these barrels, check these barrels. How about here, in these crates?

1:12:56 Brennan: You see that you hear Captain Cheddar say,

1:13:01 Annabelle: Right, these crates are nailed down. You'd have to be an ogre to open one of these. Alright? No one could have gotten into these, here. Try your best to pry one open.

1:13:09 Brennan: You see that, Grissini tries to open one. Absolutely can't. And Annabelle says,

1:13:17 Annabelle: You're gonna keep us past our point of sale. We'll have to go back and harbor for the night you open every one of these crates.

1:13:28 Brennan: Grissini says,

1:13:28 Grissini: (struggling to open a crate) Alright. They are impossible to open. Check the barrels, leave the crates.

1:13:32 Brennan: And Grissini and his soldiers take off and you are not found. 30 minutes after that you feel the sharp rolls of the coastal waters give way to a little bit smoother sailing as Annabelle finds a current out on the open sea and begins to head west and north out of Pulp Bay. As she begins sailing, what do you guys do in this crate? Yak is like just soaring in the wind. It's like mid-afternoon now.

1:14:04 Siobhan: Great, so I can see that there's no other ships coming to deal with us, we’re out on the high seas.

1:14:14 Brennan: Um, there are- It looks like there are a couple ships sailing far behind you that look like other Dairy ships.

1:14:25 Siobhan: Okay.

1:14:28 Brennan: You see that there are probably like seven or eight House Cheddar ships, probably like two House Bleu ships, two ships of like House Camembert and other two ships of House Rocquefortress, you know. So, you know, but like a little Dairy fleet and, you know, escorting the Duchess out of Pulp Bay.

1:14:53 Theobald: How many people are on the- Can we see through Sprinkle or Yak how many people are on our deck?

1:14:57 Brennan: Um, this is a smaller sailing ship, this is not, this is like the Duchess's personal ship. It's a very fast ship, so it's not like a huge man o’ war. Truly a lot of man o’ wars take a tremendous amount of time and money to make and a lot of Dairy’s fleet was destroyed 20 years ago and in that time they've been very poor. So they haven't made that many left. So a lot of the Dairy’s navy are like, smaller ships that got converted to military ships from being like merchant vessels or other things like that. So mostly, it's a fleet of smaller ships there- In terms of crew on this ship, it probably could hold a couple dozen. Right now, realistically, it’s being sailed by a dozen sailors and soldiers.

1:15:35 Theobald: Okay. Cool. I guess we’ll pop out of the box?

1:15:55 Ruby: Yeah.

1:16:04 Amethar: Yeah.

1:16:09 Ruby: I like those odds, even if they’re bad guys, five of us vs twelve of them, I think we can do it. Five very injured ones of us.

1:16:12 Brennan: Yes.

1:16:13 Theobald: And Primsy’s on here, right?

1:16:13 Ruby: Yeah. Am Yeah.

1:16:14 Brennan: Yeah, Primsy’s on here.

1:16:14 Ruby: I think we should go out-

1:16:14 Theobald: Onto the deck? I think we should call somebody down.

1:16:16 Ruby: You think we should call somebody down? I can call somebody, I can call Primsy down.

1:16:19 Theobald: Or we- Maybe we just wait and see.

1:16:21 Amethar: I mean-

1:16:21 Theobald: Somebody-

1:16:21 Ruby: We don't know where they're going, they could be going to the Dairy Islands then we have to get from there to Candia.

1:16:27 Amethar: I feel like everything we heard and saw through the two of you was positive. I mean, they don't seem to have-

1:16:33 Ally: Can I do like- Stealthily try to go and get the letter that she received to find out what that reads us.

1:16:42 Brennan: Ooh.

1:16:42 Siobhan: If you do that, I should do that. Because I have- I can pickpocket her.

1:16:48 Ally: Oh, great, cool. And you have plus 10 to your Stealth, so-

1:16:49 Siobhan: Right.

1:16:52 Brennan: How long does Pass Without a Trace last?

1:16:55 Ally: An hour.

1:16:55 Lou: I mean—

1:16:55 Brennan: Okay, so it's, it's, it's faded by now. You'd have to cast it again.

1:16:59 Amethar: I feel like we either call somebody down or walk up. We wanna vote?

1:17:00 Theobald: I think we should not walk up.

1:17:02 Amethar: All right, then call somebody down.

1:17:02 Siobhan: Can I call Primsy down? Can I use Message?

1:17:04 Brennan: Sure. What's the range on Message?

1:17:06 Siobhan: It’s 120.

1:17:08 Brennan: Yeah, you can do it, the ship is probably like about like 60 or 70 feet long and like 20 to 30 feet wide.

1:17:14 Siobhan: Great.

1:17:21 Brennan: So yes, Message can hit anybody on the ship.

1:17:22 Siobhan: Great.

1:17:23 Ruby: Should I Message Primsy or Annabelle?

1:17:28 Theobald: It's a good question. It is possible that we've been suspicious of Stilton Curdeau.

1:17:30 Ruby: I don't trust him at all.

1:17:32 Theobald: It could just be the same type of cheese that attacked us. It could be somebody from his house.

1:17:37 Amethar: I mean, the last thing it felt like Primsy said was questioning, not certain.

1:17:46 Theobald: Yeah-

1:17:46 Amethar: I mean-

1:17:47 Theobald: I mean, we might as well check with Annabelle; we could always knock her out if she doesn’t want to play ball.

1:17:52 Liam: Could we- Could we call Annabelle down here and just have you meet her, Amethar, and have a conversation with she and you and the four of us are hiding.

1:17:59 Ruby: Jet has a better relationship with her than—

1:18:02 Liam: What I think—

1:18:03 Jet: I think Primsy's the way to go.

1:18:04 Amethar: I agree.

1:18:04 Ruby: Primsy?

1:18:05 Jet: Yeah.

1:18:06 Theobald: I don't know if Primsy is gonna be able to help us.

1:18:07 Liam: Can Primsy change the direction of the boat? Primsy will have to convince Annabelle anyway.

1:18:10 Amethar: It’s Primsy’s ship.

1:18:10 Ruby: It's Primsy's ship and she's the Duchess.

1:18:13 Liam: It doesn't sound like she is doing a good job.

1:18:14 Theobald: Primsy would need to say a couple of confident sentences in order to tell people where to go.

1:18:18 Ruby: I'll call Annabelle.

1:18:18 Liam: Yeah, right? I say it's just Amethar meeting her and have it be, you know, war leader to war leader this conversation.

1:18:26 Ruby: Well, but... I'm Messaging them so she'll know.

1:18:31 Liam: Okay.

1:18:36 Jet: I don't think that- I don’t- She didn't strike me as someone who was suspicious of witchcraft.

1:18:40 Ruby: Annabelle?

1:18:45 Jet: Yeah. She may be more open-minded.

1:18:45 Theobald: I don't think she's suspicious of witchcraft. I don't know why she wants Stilton Curdeau, who I got the vibe was possibly involved in the cheese attack on the road—

1:18:53 Ruby: Yeah.

1:19:00 Theobald: She's for some reason involved with him.

1:19:03 Liam: Fuck!

1:19:04 Theobald: Or maybe she just really cares about Primsy Coldbottle and wants her to get married.

1:19:09 Jet: Why don't I just go up there and just be a hostage?

1:19:12 Ruby: That's wild. I'm calling Primsy.

1:19:13 Ally: If they’re my favored enemy I get advantage on like, checks on them.

1:19:20 Brennan: Yeah.

1:19:20 Ally: Can I try to do a check?

1:19:22 Brennan: What type of skill would you like?

1:19:23 Ally: Let's see. I get-

1:19:25 Brennan: Well, it's on all Intelligence based checks.

1:19:28 Ally: Okay, yeah.

1:19:28 Brennan: So this could be History. It could be Religion. It could be Nature. It could be whatever-

1:19:33 Ally: I'm wondering between Primsy and Annabellele, who we should pick so can I do a Intelligence check on?

1:19:40 Brennan: Yeah, go ahead and just make a- Make a flat Intelligence check with advantage.

1:19:43 Ally: Okay, cool.

1:19:47 Jet: Well, counterpoint: Annabelle was dethroned.

1:19:50 Ruby: Yeah.

1:19:50 Ally: 11, 10 or 11.

1:19:51 Brennan: Oh, 10 or 11?  Okay, and you're- Okay, 10 or 11. You were so blasted drunk when you were interacting with them. And Annabelle you saw yell at Theo and you so I think your insight is like Annabelle is mad and Primsy, you talked to when you were drunk. And I think that you are probably in an equal boat to the rest of you guys, no pun intended. Where you know, you guys know where you stand with like the Church and the Vegetanians and Fructera and all that, the Dairy- The Dairy Islands are a real coin flip for you guys and I think that you're not going to find the information you need to be confident in a choice. There is a leap of faith aspect here.

1:20:42 Jet: I am a bastard, I could go up there and say that I am angry at King Amethar for lying to me and I snuck on their boat.

1:20:48 Ruby: That’s- I'm gonna message Primsy and I'm gonna ask you to come down here.

1:20:50 Amethar: Great.

1:20:52 Jet: Okay. We're all just spitballing, I was just spitballing.

1:20:53 Amethar: Great idea.

1:20:54 Ruby: No, I see you I hear you, I'm doing something different.

1:21:00 Theobald: We can at the very least ask Primsy where we're going.

1:21:04 Amethar: Yeah.

1:21:04 Siobhan: Yeah. I cast Message on Primsy.

1:21:04 Brennan: Cool.

1:21:07 Siobhan: And I say,

1:21:12 Ruby: Primsy I invoke the friendship of House Candy and House Lacra- House Rocks and House Lacra.

1:21:20 Brennan: You- Go ahead and make me a Persuasion check.

1:21:26 Siobhan: Okay. 20 not nat.

1:21:34 Brennan: You hear a voice say

1:21:39 Primsy: Are these- Are these the fair folk? The Milky spirits who dance on the waves? I- My nan had always said that you were real but- But then the priest said you weren’t. I- I always knew the fairies are real!

1:21:53 Ruby: Primsy, come to the hold and I'll show you a secret.

1:21:59 Primsy: Alright, I should tell you I'm I'm betrothed now so if you're looking-

1:22:03 Ruby: It’s not a sexual secret.

1:22:03 Primsy: Okay.

1:22:06 Ally: That’s what I thought at first too, I was just like-

1:22:08 Lou: What?

1:22:09 Ally: I was just like, “excuse me”.

1:22:10 Brennan: She says,

1:22:10 Primsy: I meant more than you might give me- You might have given me a unicorn and I was like-

1:22:12 Ruby: Primsy.

1:22:14 Primsy: ‘Cause those only go if you're not- If you're not wed-

1:22:15 Ruby: Primsy.

1:22:16 Primsy: Right?

1:22:19 Ruby: The hold.

1:22:20 Primsy: I can see about them if you're gonna give me a unicorn- Okay.

1:22:23 Brennan: You see- You see she says

1:22:29 Primsy: Can I- Can I bring my cousin Annabelle or—

1:22:32 Ruby: No.

1:22:35 Primsy: Alright. Ooh, this is scary. Alright, alright. Oooh, this is scary. Can I bring a lantern?

1:22:37 Ruby: Yes, you may bring a lantern.

1:22:40 Primsy: Uhh, I’m gonna go below decks! Uhhh, this is scary! This is very exciting!

1:22:41 Brennan: You see—

1:22:42 Ruby: Oh, she’s dumb, I didn't know- I didn't track her as dumb before.

1:22:46 Liam: Yes!

1:22:46 Amethar: She's not dumb. She's just young and fanciful.

1:22:49 Ruby: She’s 16!

1:22:50 Liam: We’re the same age.

1:22:52 Brennan: You guys- So you see that- You feel a little light coming through the cracks of the crate. And you hear Primsy’s voice out loud saying,

1:23:08 Primsy: Spirit. I am the Duchess Primsy Coldbottle of the House of Cheddar. Duchess of Lacramor and the Daily Islands. Um-

1:23:18 Siobhan: Can we break out of the crate waving the things- The milk silk flags that she gave us?

1:23:24 Murph: I send- I send a Message first and I say

1:23:30 Theobald: Don't scream, no matter what you see.

1:23:30 Emily: Oh my god, that's so threatening.

1:23:34 Brennan: I’m gonna need a Persuasion check with disadvantage if you’d be so kind.

1:23:35 Murph: Fuck!

1:23:37 Ally: Cause that was the scariest sentence any of us have ever heard?

1:23:39 Emily: Truly the scariest thing.

1:23:40 Ally: “Don’t scream, no matter what you see” that's like a movie trailer for a horror movie.

1:23:47 Murph: ...3? (laughing)

1:23:51 Brennan: Cool, what does Amethar do?

1:23:55 Lou: As soon as possible I open the door.

1:23:57 Brennan: Cool, so she hears in her head “Don't scream, no matter what you see” and a crate bursts open and she goes (screaming).

1:24:04 Emily: I shove the milk in her mouth.

1:24:06 Primsy: (screaming) I’m being killed!

1:24:07 Ruby: You’re not being killed, you’re not being killed, it’s us!

1:24:08 Theobald: You’re not being killed!

1:24:08 Ruby: It’s us, we’re friends!

1:24:08 Murph: Bad move.

1:24:10 Brennan: You guys hear the stamping of feet as-

1:24:15 Amethar: Weapons down!

1:24:20 Lou: I take- I throw my Payment Day on the ground.

1:24:23 Emily: I tuck my weapon in my bag.

1:24:24 Ally: I hide- Can I try to hide?

1:24:30 Brennan: Yeah, go for it!

1:24:30 Emily: I guess I should try to hide too.

1:24:32 Murph: Yeah, that's fine.

1:24:33 Brennan: You said you're putting your weapons down.

1:24:36 Ally: Nat one.

1:24:37 Emily: No, I said in my backpack.

1:24:38 Brennan: In your back pocket, okay. What’s that?

1:24:48 Murph: Liam rolled a nat one.

1:24:48 Ally: Nat one.

1:24:48 Brennan: Nat one, okay. You just flatten and your body's kind of floating in the bilge milk. (Liam is crying)

1:24:52 Brennan: Yeah, you’re actively weeping and can’t hide. You see yeah, 12 sailors and Annabelle come thundering in, weapons drawn. Annabelle looks and says

1:25:00 Ruby: (hands up) We invoke the ancient concord between Candia and the Dairy Islands.

1:25:10 Jet: Hey, is us, the princesses, you gave us this!

1:25:10 Ruby: Yeah, we're friends, remember?

1:25:14 Jet: Don’t you remember I gave you that cheeseboard that-

1:25:15 Annabelle: Right now you’re five stowaways. Wanted fugitives endangering myself, my crew, my Duchess, wanted by the Imperial Army. That’s the—

1:25:21 Ruby: Yeah, pretty cool, uh?

1:25:24 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion check.

1:25:27 Ally: What did you say?

1:25:27 Siobhan: “Pretty cool, huh?” That's a 21.

1:25:30 Brennan: She holds her saber at you. (Ruby points finger guns at Annabelle)

1:25:38 Annabelle: (puts her saber back) Right, that's pretty cool.

1:25:45 Brennan: She takes out a letter and says,

1:25:50 Annabelle: This is a letter from Sir Morris Brie, saying that a spirit spoke to him and told him where Manta Ray Jack was. Right now he's hiding out in the city having rescued Manta Ray.

1:25:58 Ruby: Oh, thank goodness.

1:26:02 Amethar: That’s so good to hear.

1:26:06 Ruby: I tried to save him, but I dropped my thieves tools.

1:26:10 Annabelle: So you're taking credit for this, you’re a spirit?

1:26:14 Siobhan: I Message her.

1:26:15 Ruby: Yeah, bitch.

1:26:15 Brennan: She drops it and stumbles backwards, amazed.

1:26:25 Annabelle: You, in the middle of fleeing, gave a message to Sir Morris to save Manta Ray.

1:26:30 Ruby: Yes, he was a good man. He is a good man. I wanted to save him, I tried to, but it was too late.

1:26:37 Liam: Lapin died, and so did my best friend Preston.

1:26:45 Brennan: Primsy walks over and puts her arms around you and takes you into a deep hug. Liam starts crying.

1:26:55 Primsy: There, there. I am so sorry for the loss of your chancellor and of your noble steed.

1:27:01 Liam: (in a broken voice) Thank you.

1:27:07 Brennan: She looks up at Annabelle, Annabelle looks down at her. I think I'm going to actually ask for a group Persuasion check right now. I just want you- You’re not- No one's saying anything, just you guys standing there.

1:27:17 Siobhan: 9.

1:27:22 Emily: 21.

1:27:27 Lou: 12.

1:27:28 Murph: 7.

1:27:29 Brennan: Okay.

1:27:33 Ally: 8.

1:27:34 Siobhan: Fuck!

1:27:36 Brennan: Okay-

1:27:36 Emily: But I got a 21.

1:27:41 Brennan: You guys are bloodied and a mess. Annabelle sort of glares at you Theo, looks around and says

1:27:45 Annabelle: Of all the ships who could have stood away on, why the Colby? I'll be very clear: the Dairy Islands can do nothing to save Candia.

1:28:02 Ruby: We're not asking you to do anything we just need to get to the Great Stone Candy Mountains.

1:28:05 Annabelle: By helping you, we declare war on every Kingdom in Calorum.

1:28:12 Ruby: Please don't make us make you.

1:28:14 Amethar: Nobody needs to know.

1:28:14 Annabelle: Please don't make me? Understand here, I know you might be some kind of witch or sorceress; the rumors about how things go in Candia are far and wide on the open sea. You might get to me before my sword gets to you, but understand that my crew will finish what I start. And if it doesn't, then you'll be here with a bunch of dead sailors on the open sea. And it won't be very long before you find the end you're trying to avoid.

1:28:48 Amethar: We mean no violence.

1:28:50 Annabelle: Your daughter might.

1:28:52 Ruby: I don't.

1:28:52 Amethar: She doesn't.

1:28:52 Ruby: I'm just scared.

1:28:55 Amethar: We're all scared. It's been a crazy day and we came to the ship because of the history that our people have. The war and every day I regret listening to my father and not being there for the Dairy Islands when we should have been. And we aim to find the man who helped you when you were in need and support him and protecting Candia.

1:29:30 Liam: He's my dad. And I need to get back there so that we can go fucking kill that carrot.

1:29:40 Brennan: Annabelle puts her hand through her hair, I mean, you look at Annabelle and Primsy and see two people that are looking at an array of terrible options. You see that- She looks and says,

1:30:00 Annabelle: King Jawbreaker came to the defense of the Dairy Islands when no one else would. Prince Liam, you have our respect. And I know at least that you had the decency to see a good sailor saved.

1:30:22 Liam: I’m now a war guy.

1:30:25 Annabelle: Well, war has a funny way of making us all war guys, I suppose. We're not Imperial troops and we don't need to do the Empire's dirty work. So we're not going to fight you. We're not going to execute you. We're not gonna do anything like that because it's not our place, not our task. However, any aid we provide to you could be construed as an act of war against the Concord, so you understand how our hands are tied. Aye? Seeing as we can no longer take the course we were planning because we are down one crate of drinking milk. We will make the fastest course for Lacramor, you will be our guests and our prisoners, until such time as we arrive at Lacramor, where we will assemble the Council of the Duchess to decide then what is to be done. Can this be agreed upon by all parties?

1:31:36 Ruby: I don't see that we have a choice.

1:31:38 Annabelle: I don't see that we have one either.

1:31:43 Ruby: I hope you understand why we put you in this position.

1:31:49 Annabelle: Somewhere a bloody Sir Morris Brie is hanging on to that rascal Jack. And that's thanks to you.

1:31:58 Brennan: You see Primsy speaks up and says,

1:32:01 Primsy: And I am married to the love of my life because of you. Had not given Annabelle that boon, then I could not be wed to my sweetheart.

1:32:12 Jet: I think Annabelle would've won it either way.

1:32:15 Brennan: Annabelle looks at you and says,

1:32:18 Annabelle: Flattery will get you nowhere, but I do appreciate it.

1:32:22 Jet: Okay. Still got me a little somewhere.

1:32:25 Brennan: See, she shakes her head and says,

1:32:28 Annabelle: Right. Well, we're all doomed. Let's see these prisoners are taken to some finer quarters, fed and clothed. And we don't need any chained hands on a moving ship. So I trust that you will stay by our side until this can be resolved in a fair and just manner.

1:32:50 Ruby: Thank you.

1:32:55 Annabelle: Alright. Get them fed.

1:32:55 Brennan: Hits the wall of the ship and you guys go upstairs.

1:33:02 Ally: Can I talk to Amethar and Theo?

1:33:04 Brennan: Yeah you guys- The sailors start bringing you guys out, you're walking in the hallway and they're bringing you to rooms that have like hammocks and places to sleep and you know there's- There's some nice quarters here in the ship and they give you food. It looks like you have- No one here is giving you guys... Everyone hears in stunned amazement because several of the largest political events of the past lifetime since the end of the war have happened today. And everyone's just trying to like be reeling and then be like, I've got to fix the sails, you know, like doing mundane work in the middle of like, madness. Yeah, you guys can talk amongst each other. You guys are in a private room again.

1:33:45 Liam: I feel so angry and I don't know. I just feel obsessed with revenge. And I'm wondering if this is normal. I don't want to go to the Dairy Islands and then go to Candia.

1:34:08 Amethar: I mean, we don't want to do that either. And with regard to what you're feeling, I mean, that, for me, is rage. And I would encourage you, as a potential new war guy, to figure out how you channel that and use that, rather than letting it take over you. That takes time and effort but you're a strong kid. But, I mean, you've had a lot taken away from you Liam.

1:34:50 Liam: Yeah... I have.

1:34:54 Brennan: You see after a little while. Dinner is held. You hear a hum from the crew up above as you guys are kind of just- You've sort of been asked to like stay in your room which is fine cause it's more comfortable anyway. But you hear a little hum from some of the sailors up above you of an old Candian sea shanty and you see that the Duchess Primsy comes down and says,

1:35:36 Primsy: I was wondering if I could invite you to a small after dinner tea in the captain's quarters. I, I sleep in the captain's quarters in a bunk bed with me cousin, so. Um, but you know, cuz I'm not really the captain- The ship is mine but it's not. It’s mine-

1:36:00 Ruby: We would love to.

1:36:01 Jet: I love your ship.

1:36:03 Primsy: The Colby! She's great. It's nice. You know it's funny because she's mine in the harbor but then when we're at sea it's Annabelle’s so it's, it's sort of like- We share which, is nice.

1:36:14 Jet: That's a nice—

1:36:14 Ruby: That's a- Yeah, we get it.

1:36:16 Jet: Yeah.

1:36:18 Brennan: The Duchess takes you into her quarters. There's a lovely little milk tea, little sweet sort of honey taste in there as well. And she looks and says,

1:36:32 Primsy: Uhm, I wanted to say thank you and I don't know what it is that we're going to do. And you know, Annabelle has forsworn a lot of this sort of politics stuff. And uhm- But there are smart people and I think if we get back to, back to Lacramor we can find a way for some of this to work. I am not going to say anything that endangers the Dairy Islands or the Concord. But I will say that I know that all of this can get so complicated but what's not complicated is that I know that you're good people. And when we get back, you can meet Stilton! Who's my new husband!

1:37:20 Ally: Can I peel out and try to find, uh...

1:37:22 Brennan: Annabelle?

1:37:23 Ally: Annabelle, yeah.

1:37:24 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:37:28 Jet: Primsy, um, you're in charge. So what you say goes, Annabelle is not in charge.

1:37:32 Ruby: Yeah, you're in charge.

1:37:38 Jet: And you could easily fix this situation by just-

1:37:39 Siobhan: And Lord Stilton isn’t in charge.

1:37:40 Jet: -by just, by-

1:37:40 Primsy: Well-

1:37:40 Jet: You could easily fix the situation by just lending us a sailor and a rescue boat. And then we're out of your hair.

1:37:51 Ruby: Row. We could even row, if you go close enough to the shore we-

1:37:58 Primsy: No- I-

1:37:59 Brennan: Yous see that she immediately gets very uncomfortable. She goes

1:38:03 Primsy: Right, no, I- I understand. Look, I know that Annabelle's not in charge I know that she- She was next in line, but she gave that up-

1:38:16 Ruby: Primsy you’re a strong, powerful woman, repeat it after me.

1:38:20 Primsy: I'm a strong, powerful woman.

1:38:24 Ruby: And you don't let anybody else tell you what to do.

1:38:26 Primsy: I don't let- I don't let anyone else tell me what to do.

1:38:29 Brennan: Sloshing milk bottle. (laughing)

1:38:33 Ruby: Because you're in charge.

1:38:34 Primsy: I'm in charge. No and that's what Stilton says too and he's right about everything.

1:38:40 Theobald: Does he have- Duchess, does your husband have enemies within his own house or?

1:38:47 Primsy: No, not- Not that I'm aware. No. Why would you ask that? Are you- Do you know anything?

1:38:54 Jet: His house made an assassination attempt on King Amethar.

1:39:01 Ruby: Or at least people disguised as this house.

1:39:04 Jet: Well, technically people disguised as meat people.

1:39:06 Ruby: Yes, but maybe it was a double disguise.

1:39:09 Theobald: There was blue cheese on the road, violent blue cheese.

1:39:14 Brennan: She looks and says.. [makes a roll] she says,

1:39:22 Primsy: Right, it’s so strange. I mean, Stilton did say that— I don't think he has any enemies in his house. I mean, there was that- The wee problem of him having taken those vows when he was a youth and then a bunch of other spaces cleared in line, and he became the heir to House Bleu, which no one was sort of expecting. A lot of sort of deaths in his family, and there was also the matter of- We had a letter from the Lady Plumbeline that said that it was likely that King Amethar was going to be named successor, but that she had spoken to her father, the Concordant Emperor and that it was very possible that if it were not to be him, and he were to turn him down that, that I would be named the successor which I was dreading because I didn't want- It's hard enough to run the Dairy Islands, but Stilton seemed very excited about the prospect of me becoming the Concordant Empress.

1:40:40 Theobald: What is your cousin's relationship with Stilton?

1:40:48 Primsy: She's told me. Well, when he first started to court me, she called him a stinking little squib, and say that I should have nothing whatsoever to do with him, but I am a strong woman— Primsy points to Ruby, who points back.

1:41:00 Primsy: —and I said that he was very sweet and cordial so I liked him. She didn't like him at first, but I told her that it would make me happy and so she got behind it, I suppose.

1:41:15 Siobhan: Can I do an Insight check into this stuff?

1:41:19 Brennan: Yeah. Go for it.

1:41:23 Siobhan: Not very good, 9, 8.

1:41:26 Murph: I'll do one as well. Nat 1. She’s lying.

1:41:32 Brennan: Yeah you guys don’t read anything on her, she just goes, she says,

1:41:36 Primsy: Right but you know, Annabelle quieted down and when I told her that I had my heart set on him and know that we're wed and Stilton is now the Lord Consort Cheddar and will sit by my side in Lacramor a little bit of an upgrade for Lord Bleu, you know, Annabelle will have to get used to taking orders from him, I suppose, so—

1:42:09 Ruby: No, no, no, she takes orders from you.

1:42:10 Primsy: No, of course, me first. Yeah of course, he's the Lord Consort and you know, it only in the event of that will pass to our children when we have them one day (crosses fingers) and- Or in the event if anything would happen to me, he of course would inherit the throne.

1:42:27 Theobald: Right, uhm- Duchess, just to kind of do the math out loud. We were attacked by some Bleu soldiers on the road. You have married the Lord Consort, who will become the king if something were to happen to you. Just be careful around—

1:42:45 Jet: [whispering] Hey Theobald?

1:42:54 Theobald: Yeah?

1:42:58 Jet: Not on her wedding day.

1:43:03 Brennan: Go ahead and give me- Give me a Charisma check, a little Persuasion check. Is that a 2? Hey, [to the camera] shout out to the two crew. (Emily laughing)

1:43:18 Murph: [with his glasses off in exasperation] Why this crossover? Of all the NADDPOD crossovers, why rolling a 2? So many things! Watch this, can I get a review? My god.

1:43:34 Brennan: She gets up and says

1:43:36 Primsy: I think tea has rather been ruined.

1:43:43 Murph: (laughs) Milk people fucking hate me.

1:43:44 Brennan: She says

1:43:46 Primsy: Right now, my husband is sailing in his flagship, the Dairy Air and-

1:43:50 Amethar: Is it behind us?

1:43:57 Prismy: Aye it it, and I think I'm going to go up to the crow's nest and wave a sweet hello to my husband, separated as we are on our wedding day, and you have a good evening and think about maybe how to be more polite in the future. And I'm a strong woman. And so I'll say this to you. You're a nutter.

1:44:16 Brennan: And she—

1:44:16 Murph: Theobald is shocked and horrified.

1:44:20 Theobald: That is the meanest thing she's ever said to anybody. She called me a nutter!

1:44:21 Amethar: You need to stop being mean to these people!

1:44:22 Theobald: I wasn’t mean!

1:44:22 Jet: First you threatened her inside her head.

1:44:22 Theobald: She was- I agree.

1:44:31 Emily: Can I stealth? I wanna stealth behind her. I don't trust her going up on the crow's nest. I feel like someone's gonna kill her.

1:44:38 Brennan: Okay, cool. You stealth behind. Give me a Stealth check.

1:44:40 Lou: Yeah, do we have free rein of the ship?

1:44:41 Emily and Siobhan: Nat 20.

1:44:42 Brennan: Nat 20?

1:44:43 Ally: Nat 20.

1:44:43 Emily: Now I got a fucking nat 20. Motherfuck me!

1:44:51 Brennan: You get- You’re a fucking shadow. You go find Annabelle, Liam. What do you say to- Annabelle’s up on the deck of the ship. She's not that- She's at the helm-

1:44:57 Liam: Hello, Annabelle. Your haircut looks fresh, and it's really masculine yet feminine in a way that's strong, yet tender.

1:45:15 Brennan: Give me a Charisma check with advantage.

1:45:22 Ally: 16. 14 negative 2 Charisma.

1:45:30 Brennan: She goes,

1:45:30 Annabelle: Well, that's what I was going for. So I appreciate that.

1:45:36 Liam: Hell yeah. Look, we got fucking creamed. We were in the cathedral and people poured in trying to kill us. We were completely set up. As you know, I lost my best friend. And we just don't have time to go to the Dairy Islands. We need you to drop us off at the Great Stone Candy Mountain. I'll have my dad Joren Jawbreaker personally thank you and shake your hand and sign anything that you want to sign. He's got a lot of merch. He's got a lot of books about Kamasutra and between him and his partners and his partners’ partners, there are over 35 sexy singles of any sexuality or gender that you could desire. And you would get eaten alive upside down by that group because they would find you so attractive. Eaten alive, Annabelle. They would turn you inside out and eat you alive.

1:46:48 Siobhan: Can I Hex Annabelle just to give her disadvantage on whatever throw she’s about to make?

1:46:54 Brennan: I will allow Hex that- To give Liam here- I think that you get advantage for boldness and disadvantage for madness here. (Ally laughs) Give me a straight Persuasion check.

1:47:06 Ally: Uhh, 4.

1:47:18 Brennan: She looks at you and says,

1:47:24 Annabelle: Just stand still, alright?

1:47:29 Brennan: She got— rolled a nat 20 and a nat 1 with a disadvantage you gave her. Misses horribly a slap as you lean back because she stumbles as she looks behind her.

1:47:36 Siobhan: Shit!

1:47:44 Brennan: She looks behind her and says,

1:47:44 Annabelle: Right. What's- What's that?

1:47:50 Brennan: She takes out a spyglass, makes a Perception check and says

1:47:57 Annabelle: Strange.

1:48:03 Brennan: And she goes and walks off the deck.

1:48:04 Ally: I follow her.

1:48:07 Emily: Am I up in the crow's nest with Annabelle— Uhm, Primsy?

1:48:10 Brennan: Oh, yes. Primsy? Yes you are.

1:48:11 Emily: Do I see anything? A ship or anything like that? Pirates?

1:48:16 Brennan: You see- Yeah, you see some ships. Just give me a Perception check.

1:48:23 Emily: 14.

1:48:26 Brennan: Yeah you see that as you guys are sailing... I'm also going to need a— We're actually going to do a Box of Doom roll here in a role playing episode real quick.

1:48:41 Lou: I'm sorry, what?

1:48:45 Brennan: Real quick, gang, sorry, one second.

1:48:46 Siobhan: He’s crazy.

1:48:48 Lou: What a crazy day, a lot of changes going on.

1:48:49 Siobhan: Yeah, we're about to go into a fight with such low HP-

1:48:49 Murph: It's truly so funny how much the milk people hate me.

1:48:54 Brennan: Okay, um, we're gonna roll some luck checks right now. I need one of you guys to give me some luck checks.

1:49:03 Siobhan: Lou’s been rolling really hot.

1:49:04 Brennan: Murph?

1:49:04 Murph: Fuck. What?

1:49:05 Siobhan: No.

1:49:05 Brennan: We need some luck checks.

1:49:06 Siobhan: No!

1:49:06 Emily: [crosstalk] But you’ve been hot this evening.

1:49:07 Lou: No, he’s giving him the opportunity to grow. This is growth.

1:49:10 Siobhan: Murph, I believe in you. I—

1:49:13 Emily: I mean this is good, you’ve been hot this evening.

1:49:13 Brennan: I'm gonna need three luck checks in a row.

1:49:15 Murph: Fuck!

1:49:17 Lou: I love you Murph, no matter what.

1:49:20 Siobhan: I love you Murph, this is all good.

1:49:21 Brennan: 7.

1:49:22 Siobhan: I like you Murph, I really like you.

1:49:23 Lou: I like you a lot.

1:49:23 Brennan: 16.

1:49:26 Lou: Back to love!

1:49:27 Siobhan: Back to love.

1:49:28 Brennan: 14.

1:49:30 Lou: I'm gonna say I love you Murph, I'm gonna say I love you. Growth, that's growth.

1:49:31 Murph: That's like a 12 average which is huge for me.

1:49:31 Lou: Plus 10, baby!

1:49:31 Siobhan: Pretty good. Higher than average!

1:49:37 Murph: Yeah.

1:49:39 Brennan: Um, so those last two rolls. You guys see an up and alert crew of Cheddar sailors on the deck which is great. You also see the— as you sort of round into the Yogurt Shoals, you got- You're sort of looking at the sailing behind you. You look out and see that all of the other ships have sailed off in a different direction, except for the two House Bleu ships. That first roll however, you hear a crack of thunder and little droplets of milk begin to rain down from on high as the wind picks up, Annabelle shouts up and says,

1:50:32 Annabelle: Right, Primsy, you better get down from there!

1:50:37 Brennan: And as the ships begin to approach, I need to know where everybody is. So Amethar and Theo, you guys are still below decks, right?

1:50:47 Siobhan: Yeah, I'm on the deck.

1:50:47 Brennan: On the deck.

1:50:48 Emily: I’m up in the crow’s nest-

1:50:49 Brennan: You’re up with Primsy, that’s correct.

1:50:52 Murph: I’m definitely just keeping- I'm just away from everyone.

1:50:56 Brennan: You see- You see Primsy calls down and says,

1:51:00 Primsy: It looks like the rest of our fleet has sailed off. I'm not sure—

1:51:02 Brennan: You hear (arrow noises) and as the House Bleu ships begin to close, you see arrows firing from the House Bleu ships, onto—

1:51:09 Emily: I cover Primsy.

1:51:17 Brennan: You see they- The ships begin to catch up, Annabelle starts to shout,

1:51:20 Annabelle: Lower the sails. Full speed! Full speed!

1:51:24 Brennan: And you see that the famously fast Colby has some damaged sails and is not sailing at full speed. She- Annabelle gives the call, the two ships begin to come up alongside, one of them rams- as the sails start going crazy. One of them rams the side of the Colby and you feel the ships- The House Bleu ships have something under their keels. You hear a horrifying groan deep under the water and hear a rush of milk going into the prow of the ship. The front of the Colby snaps, you're almost thrown and the Colby’s front goes deep under the yogurt. I am going to need all of you to roll initiative. [adventurous music]

1:52:15 Siobhan: Happy birthday, Zac.

1:52:17 Murph: Oh no!

1:52:20 Lou: Can we say- Can that- We haven’t taken a long rest.

1:52:26 Brennan: Oh sorry!

1:52:27 Lou: Can it be a short rest?

1:52:28 Brennan: It’s a short rest.

1:52:28 Lou: That we did in that in the hole?

1:52:30 Brennan: It's a short rest. Well, our beleaguered heroes are taking a short rest. Tune in next week for another episode of A Crown of Candy.

1:52:36 Lou: What? [NEXT EPISODE : Episode 8: Deep Bleu Sea] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20]

1:52:42 Liam: Someone killed my best friend. For ten years, I only had one friend!

1:52:47 Brennan: You hear Primsy screaming up in the crow's nest. You hear Annabelle shouting orders. The ship is going down.

1:52:54 Sailor: Captain, Captain, House Bleu they're attacking!

1:52:57 Annabelle: Hold onto the rigging! Hold on!

1:52:57 Murph: Kill some dudes and also to take the ship.

1:53:01 Amethar: I can do that.

1:53:02 Brennan: Crack! As the wood shatters, peppermint bolt [thunk] though the head.

1:53:07 Amethar: Let's go to war, guys.

1:53:10 Murph: Listen to the yogurt bear. Brennan rolls something in the Box of Doom.

1:53:11 Siobhan: Come on. (upbeat music)

1:53:11 Captions extracted by: Janchovies#5634

1:53:11 Edited by: glugunshots, @the---archive, Kyber Bonsai, rowan solsys