At the Mountains of Sweetness

0:00:19 Brennan: Hello and welcome back to "A Crown of Candy." I'm your humble dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me are five of our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes.

0:00:28 Players: Hi, intrepid heroes.

0:00:30 Siobhan: RIP Jet. [groans]

0:00:33 Siobhan: Gone but never forgotten. Murph kisses his fingers and points up. [somber instrumental music] [Ally groans sadly]

0:00:45 Brennan: Moving the royal banner up the Cola River, the Bel Baby sails straight through the night. (water gurgling) Our heroes enter into the unthinkable, hollow, numb, bizarre channels by which each person marches through the processing of their own grief. The night envelops the ship. Sound of sail and oar moving up through the Cola River. Memories of that impossible night are what you are holding onto when we begin our story once again. The purple and bright blue striped leaves flutter and fall from a tree atop a bright pink hill. The wind moves and the grass sways. In the shade of the beautiful tree in the late afternoon sun, the first few leaves swirl in the wind and fly away. It is the 24th day of Brightdusk and only one week remains in summer. The first leaves, early precursors to their brethren that will fall in greater numbers weeks to come from now tear away and are lost. Far down the hillside from here, anchored just off the bank is Manta Ray Jack's ship the Bel Baby. His crew making repairs to the ship and pulling crossbow bolts from the side. They work in as close to silence as they can to give respectful distance to the group gathered at the top of the hill under the shade of the tree. (sad instrumental music) The bright smell of late summer and of full fields of Candian farms that stretch away from the river's edge are mixed with the smell of freshly dug soil. Looking out across the river many miles away from the enemies that you have escaped, looking out into the east towards Muffinfield and beyond that Ceresia. You see rows of peppermint orchards and lollipop trees, lines of farms stretching out as far as the eye can see. Who of you is gathered under the tree at the top of the hill?

0:04:03 Murph: Yes. I am.

0:04:03 Lou: I am.

0:04:07 Ally: Mm-hmm.

0:04:07 Zac: I think Cumulous is there but just a little further back.

0:04:13 Brennan: The Queen Caramelinda is there as well. (mimics wind howling) Wind blows past. Away in the field you see a lone farmer with a rolling Jawbreaker oxen pulling a plow. The farmer is a little stumpy-legged, fuzzy green gumdrop man with a little plum satchel following along behind his beast of burden. It's about 1/8 of a mile away. Sort of this little dot at the edge of your field of vision. The beauty of the day rests in stark contrast to the solemnity of what you are observing here at the top of the hill. You see that the farmer slips on some wet chocolate (impact resounds) and a bunch of jelly beans fall out of his satchel. (beans tapping on ground) [Lou chuckles]

0:05:33 Brennan: You hear sort of off in the distance,

0:05:35 Farmer: Oh, I slipped in some chocolate and dropped some jelly beans.

0:05:40 Theobald: Just pick them up!

0:05:43 Farmer: What? Oh, hello, hello.

0:05:50 Theobald: Hi.

0:05:52 Farmer: It gets really wet in the field and the chocolate gets kicked up by the plow.

0:05:55 Ally: I think Liam's bawling. [cast laughing]

0:05:59 Farmer: Well, sorry to bother you-

0:05:59 Amethar: Hey, get the fuck out of here.

0:06:02 Lou: [miming running] I like, run at him— [group laughing]

0:06:04 Farmer: Oh no, oh no!

0:06:06 Amethar: Get out of here now, get out of here now!

0:06:07 Theobald: [attempting to hold Amethar back] My king, my king!

0:06:09 Brennan: (laughs) You see that the little gumdrop man turns around and goes (mimics cartoon sound effect of legs running) like his little legs spinning in the air and he, (screams) slips and hits the ground. Boom, jelly beans go everywhere. He looks up and says,

0:06:21 Farmer: Are you coming to help me count my jelly beans?

0:06:25 Amethar: No, I'm telling you to get out of here now.

0:06:29 Farmer: Okay, all right, I'm so sorry, sir. I'll, I'll, get, get, get, get, get my jelly beans and I'll get right out of here, I'm sorry.

0:06:37 Amethar: Stop apologizing, pick up your beans and go.

0:06:41 Brennan: He nods and you return to the hill.

0:06:45 Siobhan: I think Ruby is watching all of this just, she doesn't even seem to really be there. She's like not even noticing what's going on around her. She's not crying but she's not focused at all.

0:06:58 Ally: I think I'm pulling on your arm. I'm like weeping, I almost can't stand up.

0:07:02 Siobhan: I'm just like very passively, like, letting that happen but not- (Ally sobbing violently)

0:07:10 Ally: It's like the ugliest cry.

0:07:15 Lou: I take Pay Day off my back. I plant it at the foot of the grave.

0:07:34 Amethar: Jet, I'm gonna miss you so much. You always pushed us. You always challenged us. You were hard and it made us stronger. I never stopped learning from you. You taught me so much. So much that I thought I knew you taught me was wrong. But even in your death you continue to teach me because to defeat monsters you must become one.

0:08:42 Brennan: Anyone at the top of the hill can roll an Insight check if they so wish.

0:08:48 Murph: 9.

0:08:51 Ally: 8.

0:08:52 Lou: 8.

0:08:54 Siobhan: A 9.

0:08:55 Zac: 9.

0:08:56 Murph: Jeez.

0:09:03 Ally: What were you about to say?

0:09:03 Siobhan: Just tell us anyway.

0:09:05 Brennan: (laughs) You see, yeah, I think with those rolls I think everyone's lost in themselves right now. And if there were another observer here they would see Amethar steeling himself. And there is a sobriety that overcomes the unthroned king of Candia that as a younger man he never had. But this Amethar has developed a perspective on war that is more informed by what he has lost. You see Queen Caramelinda has been very still. She speaks and says,

0:10:17 Caramelinda: I can't help but wonder if you died thinking that I did not love you. I was a young woman once and I know that I bore no fondness for my mother or her rules, how fervently she impressed upon me the workings of the world. I found her tedious. Her constant lecturing was a thorn in my side and I in turn was that for you. And I can't help but stand here and wish that you would have listened. (sobs) And yet maybe, maybe if I had been the type of mother that would...

0:11:38 Siobhan: I walk away.

0:11:43 Brennan: She turns to look at you and is cut short and just gazes after Ruby. What direction do you walk in, Ruby?

0:11:53 Siobhan: (sighs) I guess back towards the boat.

0:11:55 Brennan: Okay.

0:11:55 Murph: I'd like to give kind of a nod to the Queen and then follow Ruby.

0:12:08 Brennan: The queen does not- Is like gone, does not see you look at her.

0:12:11 Murph: Okay.

0:12:14 Brennan: Cool, you follow Ruby. The rest of you up on the hillside stand there in the silence.

0:12:22 Liam: You were always so soft and really close to the ground. Your paws were always covered in mud when I picked you up. And you liked nuts and well, I just loved you so much. Preston! (sobs)

0:12:48 Brennan: You see Caramelinda looks over and is just stunned into silence by this display.

0:12:56 Liam: Wet peppermint nose. And the one time you put it on my ear and I said it hurt I was lying, it felt too good!

0:13:09 Brennan: You, as you are processing those feelings, Liam, you see Caramelinda says,

0:13:13 Caramelinda: Liam.

0:13:17 Liam: Mm-hmm.

0:13:18 Caramelinda: (sighs) This is, um...

0:13:23 Liam: A tragedy.

0:13:23 Brennan: She nods. Off in the distance you hear,

0:13:27 Farmer: One little jelly bean. (Lou laughs darkly)

0:13:31 Farmer: Two little jelly beans.

0:13:34 Liam: Oh, he started over.

0:13:35 Brennan: (laughs) He's lost count a couple times.

0:13:40 Ally: Can I do an Insight check on that side guy?

0:13:42 Brennan: Yeah.

0:13:46 Ally: Interesting, 3.

0:13:48 Brennan: You are lost in grief, you have no idea.

0:13:51 Ally: Yeah, that's true.

0:13:53 Brennan: Cumulous, as you watch Ruby and Theo walk away, make a Perception check for me.

0:14:09 Zac: 21.

0:14:09 Ally: Finally.

0:14:13 Brennan: Ruby's shadow, for a second you look away, like you look at the sun or something, you're like, what just happened? But for a second Ruby's- It's hard 'cause it was less than a split second. Ruby's shadow started walking a half beat after Ruby started walking.

0:14:42 Zac: I [pats Lou] touch my cousin's shoulder and walk ahead towards them.

0:14:52 Brennan: Mm-hmm, Theo, you catch up with Ruby first.

0:14:59 Theobald: Ruby, I, um...

0:15:00 Ruby: I can't believe she blamed her and I'm so angry at her and it's all her fault and it's all his fault and it's all of Aunt Lazuli's fault and it's all my fucking fault my sister died.

0:15:16 Theobald: Jet would not blame you. Jet was a warrior and Jet died in battle. We would have all wanted her to have, you know, we would have wanted her to keep herself safe, but that's not how she was. She was a warrior.

0:15:41 Ruby: She was just so brave, she was the bravest person I knew. And I don't know how I'm gonna keep going without her. I don't know.

0:15:55 Theobald: In times like these I, (sighs) I take comfort in your Aunt Lazuli's research. I don't think Jet is gone. I think she's-

0:16:15 Ruby: Then where is she?

0:16:22 Theobald: In some strange way, I think she'll be protecting us now.

0:16:31 Ruby: She was always protecting us.

0:16:35 Theobald: She saved Primsy Coldbottle. She saved your father along with you.

0:16:47 Siobhan: Are we back at the ship?

0:16:47 Brennan: Yeah.

0:16:49 Siobhan: I'd like to climb up to the crow's nest and then I'd like to throw my consciousness into Yak so I don't have to be in my fucking body anymore.

0:16:59 Brennan: (mimics wind howling) Yak is miles up in the sky and you can feel the ruffle of the wind in his butterscotch feathers. And he locks his wings and just lets the wind push him up. And you can feel the feeling in your body of expending no effort, being without thought and the endless buffeting of the sky provides you a way to escape from these feelings that you cannot face.

0:17:42 Murph: I think once Ruby walks off, Theo's kind of trying to keep it all together. And I'm just gonna walk over to another side of the ship and Theo just loses it. And then I'm just gonna say, quietly I'm gonna pull out Sprinkle.

0:18:09 Sprinkle: (mumbles goofily)

0:18:10 Murph: And I'm gonna say, [somber music]

0:18:10 Theobald: Sprinkle, I'm gonna need you to go with Jet for a little while.

0:18:21 Sprinkle: (mutters inquisitively)

0:18:22 Theobald: Just like you used to and I hope she sends somebody back for me so she can look after me.

0:18:31 Sprinkle: (mutters sadly)

0:18:34 Theobald: You've done well, Sprinkle.

0:18:36 Sprinkle: (sobs pitifully)

0:18:40 Theobald: You're going to- It's okay.

0:18:42 Sprinkle: (crying pitifully)

0:18:44 Murph: I cry more and I dismiss Sprinkle. And then I'd like to cast Find Familiar and call like a black licorice familiar.

0:18:57 Brennan: You see that Sprinkle inchworms his way up the hill and coming from the ship actually you see, (mimics slithering) this licorice snake, shadowy viper comes off of the edge of the ship and coils around your arm underneath your armor. (hisses)

0:19:27 Theobald: That is you, Princess. I can already tell you're going to me more of a handful than Sprinkle was.

0:19:33 Brennan: Bites into your gauntlet.

0:19:33 Theobald: (yelps) Ah!

0:19:33 Murph: Cries more.

0:19:38 Brennan: Amethar and Liam, you guys are still on the top of the hill. You see, each of you guys give me an insight check.

0:19:48 Lou: 15.

0:19:48 Ally: Hey, 11.

0:19:50 Brennan: Caramelinda sees Ruby walking away and is losing it. She's like, she's fully losing it and she begins to walk away from the top of the hill.

0:19:59 Lou: I catch up to her and put my arm around her waist and just walk with her back to somewhere private on the ship.

0:20:08 Brennan: She walks, as she walks along, yeah, she's losing it. Theo, you see the Queen approaching. And she looks up at you and sees the sort of licorice snake wrapped around your arm. She looks up and says,

0:20:36 Caramelinda: What is that?

0:20:42 Theobald: I asked the- I dismissed Sprinkle and I asked Jet to send me a sign that she was watching over us and...

0:20:59 Caramelinda: A sign that she was watching over us. And who was watching over her, Sir Theobald, when she fell?

0:21:10 Theobald: I'm sorry.

0:21:12 Amethar: M'lady. There's no way any of us-

0:21:18 Caramelinda: What task was given to our Lord Commander of the Tartguard?

0:21:28 Theobald: To protect the royal family.

0:21:31 Caramelinda: That's what I thought. (somber instrumental music)

0:21:36 Caramelinda: I- I've known you for quite some time, Theobald. I knew you when you were a young, green knight, barely anything more than a squire. You were enamored of my promised, the Archmage Lazuli. I- I have nothing to say to you. You… I don't know where your heart lies or what it is that you have chosen to serve in this world. I know that you revered my former wife, and I know that I have no love lost from you. I would...

0:22:58 Brennan: You see dark, venomous thoughts cross her mind that even in her state of grief she doesn't say. And she just looks up at you deeply hurt and says,

0:23:15 Caramelinda: I have one daughter left. Maybe instead of summoning this reflection of your failure you can see to it that you devote yourself to not letting it happen a second time.

0:23:36 Brennan: And she turns, looks at you, Amethar, and walks onto the ship.

0:23:41 Lou: I stay back.

0:23:43 Brennan: She gets about five paces, turns to see if you're gonna follow her.

0:23:50 Amethar: I'm coming.

0:23:52 Brennan: And then she turns and walks onto the ship.

0:23:56 Amethar: She's angry, I mean...

0:23:58 Theobald: Don't, my king, don't comfort me.

0:24:04 Amethar: I'm not, alright, I'm just telling you there's nothing you could have done.

0:24:12 Lou: And I walk after her.

0:24:16 Brennan: You walk onto the ship. Cumulous, you've arrived at the ship as well and can see Ruby up in the crow's nest.

0:24:29 Zac: Do I see - Can I tell what she's doing first?

0:24:31 Brennan: Yeah, she's like warging into her familiar.

0:24:38 Zac: I think Cumulous will also climb up to the crow's nest, but off to one of the masts, kind of like poles off to the side.

0:24:50 Brennan: Cool.

0:24:50 Zac: Just kind of wait.

0:24:53 Brennan: Ah, okay, give me another Perception check.

0:24:57 Zac: 9.

0:25:00 Brennan: Cool. Liam, you're the last person left on top of the hill.

0:25:06 Ally: I think I pick like a little peppermint flower or something, kinda put it in my shirt and then is Manta Ray Jack around?

0:25:16 Brennan: Yeah, he's on the ship.

0:25:17 Ally: Can I, 'cause you said that Cruller saved him.

0:25:24 Brennan: Yeah.

0:25:24 Ally: And brought him back?

0:25:25 Brennan: Yeah.

0:25:25 Ally: Can I do an Insight check on that or can I do something-

0:25:28 Brennan: Sure, yeah, if you wanna go talk to him, yeah.

0:25:30 Ally: Yeah, can I go and talk to him?

0:25:32 Brennan: Great, go ahead and give me an Insight check.

0:25:37 Ally: Great, 4.

0:25:37 Brennan: Cool. You find Manta Ray on the ship making repairs, getting the ship ready. You see that, you come to him with a group of sailors being like,

0:25:45 Manta Ray: Really to it, I can't say the King will give the order of where we sail to next. I only know that we can't sail downriver but we'll have to get word there somehow back to Port Syrup that there's been a coup. Oh, young Master Wilhelmina, your lordship.

0:26:11 Liam: I was just coming by to say hi.

0:26:13 Ally: I think I walk away.

0:26:16 Brennan: He says,

0:26:16 Manta Ray: Whoop, all right, did you?

0:26:19 Brennan: You see he runs up after you.

0:26:19 Liam: (sniffles) Nothing!

0:26:20 Brennan: He says,

0:26:20 Manta Ray: Is there anything you needed to say?

0:26:23 Liam: I just wanted to kinda see how this ship's going. Or are you? Mhh. Have you talked to Ciabatta lately?

0:26:38 Manta Ray: No, I sailed with you from Port Syrup.

0:26:43 Liam: Mm-hmm.

0:26:43 Brennan: He looks at you and says,

0:26:49 Manta Ray: I'll tell you true, lad. Morris and me ran into Cruller leaving Comida. He got us through the lines, but looking back he was as surprised as anything to find us. He weren't anywhere I could see when they were torturing me. I never saw his face. Now that I know he's the one who turned me in I can't believe that snake made the journey with us from Comida back to the borders of Candia. When we found him he weren't nowhere but in the company of a few Tartguard. And it was passing strange for certain because he didn't seem worried and the way he got us through those imperial lines, even for someone as skilled as him it seemed strange, but we were so desperate that we couldn't question it.

0:27:52 Liam: I see.

0:27:52 Manta Ray: He told us to come with him to Castle Candy, but I ended up finding a ship's passage going down the river to Port Syrup, and (sighs) strange hands of fortune that I got myself and Morris on the ship and sent a messenger to tell Cruller. Maybe if I told him myself he would have had us seized by his guards.

0:28:14 Liam: So what did the message say to him that you sent?

0:28:17 Manta Ray: Merely that we had found escape, and we thanked him for helping us to get back to the river.

0:28:20 Liam: Hmm.

0:28:23 Manta Ray: He never let slide that he was conspiring with folks because I don't think he would have wanted a fight just with him and his four warriors at arms against me and a trained, armored knight.

0:28:35 Liam: Mhh, mm-hmm, so you don't think Candia needs to be taken down, or? So The Hungry One can eat a balanced meal?

0:28:48 Manta Ray: From the bottom of me heart.

0:28:50 Liam: Mm-hmm.

0:28:52 Manta Ray: I couldn't give two wanks for a balanced meal and I hope that The Hungry One stays hungry, your lordship.

0:28:58 Liam: Cool, well, if you need my help, I'm a good watch-person.

0:29:07 Ally: Can I start to do some of this Primeval Awareness? Like, it says that if I attune my senses for a minute I can find which favored enemies lurk and like more more info about them.

0:29:22 Brennan: Yeah.

0:29:22 Ally: Cool. I set up like a little bedroll next to Manta Ray Jack and I kinda just hold his hand.

0:29:29 Brennan: Yeah, you start looking at the passing of shi- You hold his hand, he's like,

0:29:31 Manta Ray: All right, lad.

0:29:35 Liam: Oh, did you want to be a part of this, or? I can just on my own.

0:29:36 Manta Ray: A part of what?

0:29:38 Liam: It's a minute of me focusing. So I like to get comfortable, sit down, unzip my bedroll, get in it, get a little cozy. Just a little cozy.

0:29:54 Manta Ray: You should go to your quarters.

0:29:56 Liam: Oh right, of course, yeah, you're right.

0:29:58 Manta Ray: Alright.

0:29:59 Liam: I love you, too.

0:30:01 Manta Ray: What?

0:30:01 Liam: What? No, I'm experiencing loss.

0:30:06 Brennan: (laughs) You head downstairs. Amethar, you head down to the quarters below decks where you see Caramelinda.

0:30:24 Amethar: I understand that you're having a hard time. We're all having a hard time. (pause) You can't turn on Theobald like that. We can't turn on each other right now. The world is against us. All we have is everybody on this boat. If you wanna talk to him like that, I mean, we'll all be dead.

0:31:12 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Persuasion check with advantage.

0:31:23 Lou: A modified 20.

0:31:28 Brennan: Caramelinda— Wild.

0:31:33 Ally: I pull out a huge water bottle.

0:31:37 Brennan: Caramelinda looks at you, her lip quivers and she just starts weeping and walks over and doesn't go to embrace you but just buries her- Like holds her hands against her own chest and just buries her face into the crook of your shoulder.

0:32:03 Lou: I do like one of those slow like, [imitates hugging] one arm, two arms, real tight.

0:32:18 Brennan: She cries there for a long time and then looks up and says,

0:32:34 Caramelinda: Okay. Okay, you're right, we're all we have.

0:32:49 Brennan: Time passes, the boat sails away and you guys watch the hill by the side of the river fade into the distance. As you guys speak that evening when you guys, you see that first thing is Caramelinda walks up to you, Theo, as the ship is sailing away. She looks at you and says,

0:33:22 Caramelinda: I… People say very silly things when they...

0:33:36 Theobald: I understand, there's no reason to apologize. But if there was any truth behind what you were saying I just want you to know that any resentment or childishness, anything I felt towards you, jealousy, that went away a long time ago, but my reverence for Lazuli is- It's not- I believe in her dream. I'm not in love with her. And I serve your family and I loved your daughter and I love you.

0:34:27 Brennan: She just starts crying again and she says,

0:34:33 Caramelinda: When you have failed as completely and totally as I have and you are as afraid as I am that the weight of that failure will destroy you, you will panic and try to put that on someone else. And that's wrong and I'm sorry.

0:34:56 Theobald: I relate to that fully. And the only thing keeping me together right now is this.

0:35:02 Murph: And I hold up my extremely ill-behaved familiar.

0:35:05 Brennan: Immediately bites Caramelinda. She goes. (screams)

0:35:07 Theobald: Right?

0:35:10 Caramelinda: Ah!

0:35:11 Theobald: It's weirdly comforting, isn't it?

0:35:13 Caramelinda: It's a lot of her spirit.

0:35:13 Theobald: I know. It's not, this isn't how the spell works. This is straight up wrong.

0:35:19 Cumulous: Did you just find a snake?

0:35:22 Theobald: Yeah, this just might be a snake. It's licorice, it looks like.

0:35:24 Lou: You hadn't finished casting the spell yet.

0:35:26 Siobhan: Yeah, it takes an hour.

0:35:31 Ally: That's really funny.

0:35:31 Brennan: Wonderful. So before dinner, Ruby, you come back as it starts getting late and Yak flies back to you. And you look down and see that Cumulous has been just monk-sitting on a spar of the staff for a while as you've been in the crow's nest.

0:35:48 Ruby: Staring at me?

0:35:50 Cumulous: Am I staring at you?

0:35:50 Ruby: Are you watching me?

0:35:53 Cumulous: I'm watching over you.

0:35:53 Ruby: I don't need looking after.

0:35:56 Siobhan: And I swing down. (Brennan chuckles and mimics wind rushing)

0:36:01 Cumulous: I think we should talk. (soft peaceful instrumental music)

0:36:07 Ruby: What do you have to say?

0:36:11 Cumulous: I think that you are… I have a very complicated relationship to death and dying that may be upsetting to most and maybe even you, but I think there are things you should hear about.

0:36:35 Siobhan: I look out to sea but don't- I like not acknowledging him but I'm not sending him away either.

0:36:44 Cumulous: I think- I know more about death than most and I think that it is both the simplest and most complicated thing there is in this world. And I think it constantly, it contradicts itself. Its meaning is very elusive and also very concrete. And I know that when you die, you're dead, that that's the end. But also maybe not-

0:37:34 Ruby: Is this supposed to be comforting?

0:37:36 Cumulous: But also maybe not. I know that I've seen the insides of all these bodies with the wet sacks and weird bones that they have inside of them, but I know that there is something in there that is not there.

0:37:57 Ruby: Well, this is what I know about death. When my sister died, I died, and the only reason for me to live now is to avenge her. Anybody who gets in my way I will kill.

0:38:14 Cumulous: And I think in many ways, your sister is still alive.

0:38:20 Zac: And I'll take off the necklace I have and give it to Ruby.

0:38:26 Cumulous: It's not much, but I think you should- You say that you're dead, but I think you should also consider staying here with the living. 'Cause we will all die, but you don't have to do it just yet.

0:38:50 Siobhan: I put the necklace in my pocket and I go to my quarters.

0:38:57 Brennan: So Manta Ray Jack is going to talk to Amethar and anyone who's with Amethar as the ship sails upriver. Liam, you've done your sort of Natural Explorer, your Primeval Awareness, you can tell at the edges of your field of influence that there are people coming for you, your sense of the wilderness, you see the movement of birds. You know that people are coming after you, but you know that upriver there are the beginnings of the Great Stone Candy Mountains and that there are paths through there in the remote places of Candia that you will be able to take these people faster than the people pursuing you.

0:39:35 Ally: Cool, do I have anyone specific within 5 miles?

0:39:39 Brennan: No one specific within 5 miles, no one's that close. The ship traveled much faster upriver than anything else. So everyone else is having to come over land either by steed or on foot to try to keep up with a ship that was sailing throughout the entire rest of the night.

0:39:54 Ally: Cool.

0:39:56 Brennan: Other than Amethar, is anyone else talking with Manta Ray Jack about the direction of the ship? Manta Ray would probably get you, Liam, who has that awareness as well.

0:40:02 Ally: Yeah I'll probably be there.

0:40:04 Brennan: You see Manta Ray looks up, pats you on the arm and goes,

0:40:16 Manta Ray: (sighs) Well, uh, Your Majesty, I feel that I've, we're with you to the bitter end. It's strange, you grow up a common man and you feel so fortunate even to know the high born and them, what sits in their thrones and determines the fate of the world. And I think there's not a common man born who doesn't wish that they could rise above their station and change the stars. It's a terrible curse and a horrible piece of bad luck that the only way I've changed the stars and the fate of the world is bringing wrack and ruin to the house of one of my dearest friends.

0:41:09 Amethar: Jack, save it. This isn't you, it's not you.

0:41:19 Manta Ray: I should have spotted Cruller.

0:41:20 Amethar: No.

0:41:21 Manta Ray: For the backstabber he was.

0:41:22 Amethar: Oh, stop.

0:41:23 Manta Ray: And I shoulda kept my mouth shut about Catherine.

0:41:27 Amethar: These are my mistakes, every one of 'em. And I will live with them. Don't double it, it's enough for me to carry.

0:41:41 Brennan: (gasps) You see he wipes his eyes.

0:41:44 Manta Ray: (sniffles) We're here with you, and the Bel Baby will sail you where you need to go. We can change our ship’s name and change our colors, but we will certainly be searched if we travel south again.

0:42:02 Liam: Oh, I know some back ways through the Great Stone Candy Mountains.

0:42:07 Manta Ray: Aye?

0:42:07 Liam: And places that we can just ditch the boat, yeah, definitely.

0:42:13 Amethar: I mean, we definitely sail for Jawbreaker. I mean, is losing, is there no way for you guys to just continue to sail north? I mean, does the Cola River come to an end or?

0:42:24 Manta Ray: Aye, well, eventually it gets up high enough into the mountains that you can't take your ship up there. But you can take it upriver pretty far. And the last sort of deep enough harbor gets us sort of just past the heart of Muffinfield. We can do our best to get that far and then we'll do as you need. If you wish for us to sail south and bring word to Port Syrup, we can do that.

0:42:54 Amethar: I mean, would you be able to? I mean, can you do that safely?

0:42:57 Manta Ray: Aye, I don't think we were spotted. Listen, we know our ways.

0:42:59 Amethar: Yeah.

0:43:04 Manta Ray: But if you wish, I can also just send a few of my sailors back down and me and some of my fighters can come with you into the North.

0:43:12 Amethar: I mean, what do you want, Jack?

0:43:16 Manta Ray: I owe it to you, and I'm not gonna let you down again.

0:43:18 Amethar: (chuckles) Oh, Jack. You come with us.

0:43:24 Manta Ray: All right, and we'll send the ship back south with a new name and new flags. We'll fly the colors of House Cruller. It shall pass muster.

0:43:31 Amethar: Good.

0:43:35 Brennan: He says,

0:43:35 Manta Ray: The North it is and try to get to Castle Manylicks and get through the siege as best we can.

0:43:44 Brennan: You guys take off. As you guys begin sailing, go ahead and give me a Perception check, just Ruby and- Actually yeah, everyone give me a Perception check.

0:44:02 Siobhan: I'm doing it with advantage 'cause of Yak.

0:44:07 Murph: 19.

0:44:07 Ally: There we go.

0:44:07 Siobhan: I got a 16.

0:44:07 Lou: 12.

0:44:09 Zac: 13.

0:44:09 Ally: Oh, baby.

0:44:10 Brennan: 19, 16, 13.

0:44:10 Ally: 24.

0:44:13 Brennan: 24? Cool. You guys, you get some intense dreams. Liam, a lot of your dreams are dominated by this intense noise you've heard a couple times before of this like, (snarls and growls) and like heat and smoke, and the smoke smells of like fire and like cinnamon if that makes sense, like a hot cinnamon smell of, (snarls and growls) and the beating of hot wind. It was chocolate and cinnamon. Did anyone else get above a 15?

0:44:50 Siobhan: I got a 16.

0:44:50 Murph: Yeah, I got a 19.

0:44:51 Brennan: 19. Ruby, you wake up in the night with the feeling of that amulet of Lazuli's eye in your pocket producing a little bit of light. And it feels a little bit warm. And there's a small, little lantern next to your bed that you kept lit, you sort of like fell asleep reading a little bit or something like that. You see that as you're looking at the amulet the glow fades. You look at your shadow on the wall and your shadow is of you looking at the amulet, but it's you sitting at the edge of the bed and not lying in it, it's wrong, the shadow is wrong.

0:45:50 Ruby: Jet?

0:45:53 Brennan: You say, "Jet." Do you move at all as you say, "Jet" or no?

0:45:59 Siobhan: I think I sit up a little bit.

0:46:02 Brennan: The shadow- It was a trick of your eye. Like, your shadow moves and you were just- Like as you move your shadow is in the right place. (dramatic instrumental music)

0:46:17 Siobhan: I walk out onto deck 'cause I feel suddenly so awake that I'm gonna walk out onto deck.

0:46:23 Brennan: You walk out onto the deck and you can see perfectly in the dark.

0:46:30 Ruby: What?

0:46:34 Brennan: Give me one last Perception check, DC 20.

0:46:40 Siobhan: That's a nat 20.

0:46:45 Brennan: You are looking in the dark everywhere holding the amulet of Lazuli in your hand. You look down and you see that the corners of the eye which were blank before are creased for a moment as though the eye were in a deep smile. And as it glows bright it casts your shadow on the wall behind you and as you turn to look, this shadow is following your movements. It's not misbehaving, but you notice something wrong with the shadow that is not about movement. Your shadow is, again, you know, looks just like you, but its hair is not right. Its hair is in a long braid.

0:47:44 Ruby: I can't believe you're gone.

0:47:48 Brennan: Shadow doesn't move. Ruby sighs, softly.

0:47:55 Siobhan: I walk up to the wall that the shadow is.

0:47:59 Brennan: You leave the little source of light behind you.

0:48:02 Siobhan: Reflected against and I put my forehead up against it.

0:48:08 Brennan: The hull of the ship where you touch your forehead to what should be that cold cheese wood, as you touch it the wood is very warm almost as though you were putting your head to someone else's head.

0:48:25 Siobhan: I sob. And it's the first time, really, that I've cried without trying to hold it back.

0:48:42 Brennan: Your shadow heaves with sobs in time to yours. It is there until the sun comes and your shadow goes away brought from the edge of the woodwork and stand next to you instead, to cast upon the ground and you face a new day. You guys sail, I'm gonna need some, as you get the ship as far up as it can go and have to end up harboring it, I'm gonna need a Survival or Nature check. Probably actually Survival, and this is gonna be a group check so we need half of these to be successes.

0:49:39 Zac: What do we have to get?

0:49:40 Brennan: The DC on this, we're just gonna say, well, actually let me know what you guys roll.

0:49:44 Zac: I got a 16.

0:49:44 Ally: 9.

0:49:45 Brennan: You got a 16?

0:49:46 Lou: 6.

0:49:46 Brennan: 9, 8, 16.

0:49:46 Murph: I got a 19.

0:49:48 Ally: Do I have advantage on the roll of Nature check?

0:49:50 Brennan: I'm gonna roll, Manta Ray's got a plus 4.

0:49:54 Lou: Come on, Jack!

0:49:56 Brennan: That's a 15. You guys head off, he takes some of his crew, sends the rest back with the Bel Baby. Caramelinda comes with. So let me ask what way you guys are headed up into the mountains. The ways that are available to you, the fastest way- You're not anywhere near Imperial roads right now so there's not a big risk of finding Ceresians or Imperial soldiers here, but you are in Muffinfield which is— [quick, tense orchestral music]

0:50:29 Siobhan: Oh, shit.

0:50:30 Brennan: Which is Calroy's, you know, fief. The fastest way into the mountains would be through farmland and on country roads which you could travel very quickly and you wouldn't have to worry about getting lost or anything. Although with Liam there's no chance of getting lost anyway, but it would be far the fastest, but it would take you through townships and it would be more highly populated. The other way would be to just spelunk and or climb which would be extremely dangerous, but would be getting you into the mountains sort of the most directly. The other way would be to go into deep woods and remote places which would be longer than climbing, but less dangerous and through less populated areas.

0:51:22 Ally: I mean, we have two people that have Disguise Self if we wanna be crazy and just go the fastest road.

0:51:27 Zac: Who can disguise themself?

0:51:27 Ally: Us two.

0:51:29 Siobhan: I can.

0:51:29 Murph: Do you have- You have Invisibility as well?

0:51:32 Siobhan: I also have Invisibility.

0:51:34 Murph: 'Cause I'm not gonna be good at, well actually climbing would be Athletics.

0:51:37 Lou: Yeah, I might be-

0:51:39 Siobhan: Would it be Athletics or Acrobatics or would it just be Athletics, climbing?

0:51:43 Brennan: It would be just Athletics. (Siobhan groans)

0:51:45 Ally: I'm pretty good at Athletics, what do you have?

0:51:47 Murph: Plus 7.

0:51:47 Siobhan: I only have plus 3.

0:51:49 Ally: Plus 6.

0:51:49 Zac: Could you just jump?

0:51:52 Siobhan: Oh, I do have Jump, I do have the Jump spell.

0:51:55 Murph: The spell, Jump?

0:51:56 Lou: And you can become like a cloud, right?

0:51:58 Zac: And I can jump, my jump distance is three times normal. And I have Slow Fall or, yes.

0:52:01 Murph: I do have Misty Step now.

0:52:05 Lou: What if we got real dumb and climbed this thing?

0:52:05 Siobhan: I also have the Feather Fall spell.

0:52:07 Ally: Let's do it.

0:52:07 Brennan: The issue is that, like, you're gonna be facing multiple Athletics challenges per day, like it's not like one cliff. It's, like, cliff and the next cliff and then the next cliff, then the next cliff.

0:52:14 Siobhan: A lot of cliffs.

0:52:16 Brennan: And then the next cliff and then the next cliff.

0:52:17 Lou: And there's no way of like, do a cliff then do something else? It's like, cliff, cliff, cliff, cliff?

0:52:24 Brennan: Yeah, exactly.

0:52:24 Murph: So we can...

0:52:26 Ally: We have two familiars.

0:52:26 Murph: We could do the long way through the woods.

0:52:28 Lou: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I trust Liam getting us through the woods and all those sorts of things so...

0:52:36 Siobhan: Yeah, I don't think Caramelinda will be very good at climbing.

0:52:37 Lou: That's right, yep.

0:52:42 Brennan: Yeah, you could also do a mixture of the two. Like, where Muffinfield ends and begins you could cut through a little bit of Muffinfield which will get you to a very shallow ascending stretch of deep forest that will go up into the mountains so it's like one little bit of traveling through a populated area and then gets you into deep wilderness and a safe, slow route into the mountains.

0:53:08 Siobhan: How long would the traveling through Muffinfield take?

0:53:12 Brennan: You could probably cut through this part of Muffinfield in like a day, a day or two.

0:53:17 Lou: That's if we were walking through populated areas.

0:53:19 Brennan: Yeah.

0:53:19 Lou: And if we take the woods?

0:53:25 Brennan: If you go the woods the whole way it will add probably like two or three weeks to your travels.

0:53:32 Siobhan: Jesus.

0:53:32 Brennan: But if you cut through a little bit of Muffinfield and get to this stretch of forest you can probably get to Manylicks in two-ish, two-and-a-half-ish weeks or something like that and then-

0:53:45 Lou: But if we go through the town it's one day?

0:53:46 Murph: It's a day?

0:53:46 Brennan: No, sorry. It's one day traveling through Muffinfield to get to the safe forest.

0:53:51 Murph: Got it.

0:53:53 Lou: Okay, yeah, what if we just went through populated Muffinfield?

0:53:57 Brennan: You could probably take roads to get you to Manylicks in like a week.

0:54:03 Siobhan: A week versus two to three weeks.

0:54:05 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:54:05 Ally: We have two Disguise Self. You could cast Invisibility on someone. We can try to find some sort of, like, cart.

0:54:10 Siobhan: It just seems so dangerous, these people. I just don't trust them.

0:54:14 Ally: I speak Ceresian.

0:54:18 Siobhan: Yeah, but...

0:54:18 Zac: Do you have good Deception?

0:54:22 Ally: Uh, Deception, no.

0:54:22 Siobhan: I don't think Liam's very Deceptive.

0:54:25 Ally: - 2.

0:54:28 Siobhan: And Invisibility I can only cast on one person 'cause it's concentration.

0:54:30 Murph: It might be best to just-

0:54:33 Ally: I have Pass Without a Trace.

0:54:33 Siobhan: They both also last only for an hour.

0:54:36 Murph: Pass Without a Trace, how long does that last for?

0:54:38 Ally: And that gives us what? That was like plus 10 to deception?

0:54:43 Murph: Yeah.

0:54:43 Zac: To Stealth.

0:54:44 Ally: It's an hour.

0:54:44 Murph: An hour's not super super helpful.

0:54:46 Siobhan: Yeah, and this is a week, a whole week of stuff, so...

0:54:47 Murph: We could do the split. We could just do-

0:54:52 Siobhan: Yeah, I say we-

0:54:54 Murph: Go through Muffinfield for a little bit and then do the woods.

0:54:55 Siobhan: And then do the woods.

0:54:57 Murph: We might as well, if we can't decide let's just split down the middle.

0:55:00 Lou: All right.

0:55:00 Siobhan: And then we could even- Could we do that day of Muffinfield, see how it feels and then make the decision?

0:55:05 Brennan: Yeah, for sure.

0:55:06 Murph: Yeah, let's do that.

0:55:06 Brennan: I'm gonna roll a little luck check in front of the board. You guys want high. 16!

0:55:14 Ally: Hey.

0:55:16 Lou: That's high.

0:55:18 Brennan: You guys journey through Muffinfield. You go on small country roads headed towards this section of the forest. Yeah, it's probably about like, you know, about 50 to 60 miles to where these woods begin and you're cutting across a couple of townships and some roads and things like that, but you know, Muffinfield is a very rich county, rich province, and as you're traveling you see that there are lots of Bulbian churches here. And you begin to see the difference between this place and Port Syrup. Here the flags of House Cruller fly, and you see that there are some Imperial flags around, some things of the Concordant Empire. A lot of churches here. You're heading through sort of the largest township you've had to head through just 'cause it's where a bridge over a deep river is and sort of the fastest way to get. It's, you know, probably late afternoon. This is probably a good place for you to cast Pass Without Trace just to get through here very sneakily.

0:56:30 Murph: Sweet.

0:56:33 Brennan: As you're moving through this town, you look up and you see that there's a lot of people gathered in the town square, and that there is a Mummers Troupe. There's like a big puppet show happening of some traveling performers outside the church. So there's a lot of children laughing and clapping. There's sort of a little late summer festival happening.

0:56:56 Cumulous: Do not watch this.

0:56:56 Murph: Yeah, I grab Amethar.

0:56:59 Liam: Really?

0:56:59 Cumulous: Do not watch this.

0:57:03 Ally: Come on, just a peek, maybe it's about us!

0:57:07 Cumulous: It most definitely will be.

0:57:07 Theobald: Yeah, I think it might be.

0:57:11 Brennan: Actually, go ahead and make a Perception check for me.

0:57:18 Lou: 13.

0:57:20 Brennan: You see that there is a cloddish pink and purple puppet wearing a crown that has a grotesque erection.

0:57:34 Lou: Do I have Pass Without a Trace on.

0:57:35 Brennan: Yeah, you do.

0:57:35 Lou: I shake off Theobald and I watch for a second.

0:57:40 Ally: What all puppets are in play right now for these kids?

0:57:43 Brennan: There is-

0:57:43 Ally: I'm watching, too.

0:57:44 Brennan: There is this grotesque, it's fucked up. There's like, you see that- You know, the adults are laughing, people are laughing and there's this sort of little troubadour kind of music like a mandolin, a little flute going.

0:57:58 Ally: Can I see anything about the people who are doing the puppet?

0:58:03 Brennan: Yeah, there's a bunch of performers out there. You see that they appear to be performing on the steps of the church. That this is sort of like a morality play. Like, the Church in this, like very pious regions like this one wouldn't allow performances that were not about sort of religious life. You see that there's also, you know, it's like the whole town's kind of out here. There's people laughing and a bunch of people drinking ale or drinking like cola. You see that the puppeteer who's manning Amethar- That there are, there's a sort of complex puppet of Queen Caramelinda that sort of looks sort of vacant and spacey and moving around. And there's also two puppets that are joined at the hip. It's just one puppet of Jet and Ruby. And they're made to look kind of feral. They have fangs and you see that they have sort of upside down symbols of the Bulb on their head.

0:59:04 Zac: Is there, Cumulous is gonna check if there's a Cumulous puppet. (Brennan laughing)

0:59:09 Zac: Nat 20.

0:59:11 Siobhan: What a waste.

0:59:12 Brennan: You don't see a Cumulous puppet, but you do see that there is a guy furiously making a puppet behind the puppet show and it's Theobald, he's making a Theobald puppet.

0:59:27 Theobald: Are you jealous?

0:59:27 Cumulous: [flatly] Of course not. (Brennan laughing)

0:59:30 Theobald: You know this is bad, right?

0:59:33 Cumulous: I know it is bad.

0:59:33 Theobald: Yes.

0:59:34 Cumulous: But I said I was not jealous.

0:59:37 Ruby: Everybody keep going, I— Everybody keep going.

0:59:43 Brennan: You see that the sort of buffoonish Amethar puppet is like in this, flopping around and goes,

0:59:51 Amethar Puppet: The royal life is such a snore, and piety an awful chore. Much better still a maid to gore or Caramel, the king's new whore. [cheerful carnival-like music]

1:00:02 Brennan: And people clap and there's laughter going around. And Amethar and Ruby, and you see Caramelinda just stares as you are all clouded in Liam's shadowy magic. You see that a puppet of the Pontifex comes with this little bat and knocks the crown off Amethar's head and starts spanking him and everyone starts going nuts and laughing.

1:00:25 Siobhan: I use Prestidigitation to set the puppets on fire. (Brennan laughing)

1:00:31 Siobhan: And then I'm gonna cast Disguise Self on myself, make myself a little muffin lady.

1:00:37 Lou: Can I grab Ruby?

1:00:37 Brennan: Yeah.

1:00:39 Lou: Great.

1:00:39 Brennan: You grab Ruby.

1:00:42 Ruby: What a terrible omen, oh my goodness!

1:00:45 Amethar: We're done.

1:00:45 Lou: I start leaving.

1:00:50 Zac: I can't believe I got a fucking nat 20 on that. (Brennan laughing)

1:00:52 Zac: It's always the dumbest shit.

1:01:00 Brennan: You guys head off into the woods.

1:01:04 Lou: I was convinced that was gonna be worse. Lighting things on fire's not bad. I thought you were gonna shoot somebody.

1:01:14 Brennan: Roll another luck check as you get into the woods. But I'll roll this, I told you these were saves so I'll roll with advantage. 18.

1:01:20 Siobhan: Great.

1:01:22 Murph: Okay.

1:01:22 Brennan: You guys arrive here in the deep woods and start traveling. You travel here for a couple days. It's gonna be a little bit slow going, but you're making your way. Now you're like deep into the actual Great Stone Candy Mountains so you know these woods. You haven't been in these exact woods, but you're kind of home here. You guys travel, mostly it's Liam hunting and taking care of you guys. You pass one farmstead which is not even connected anywhere by a road, but the sort of old farm wife takes you in. You see that she's here, she's got a good little marshmallow dog and an old Meep out in the stable. You see that she sort of takes you in and feeds you. And as you guys are leaving the next morning she says, again, like deep in the woods she says,

1:02:16 Old Farmer: Well, may the spirits rest and keep you, and health to you and to the good King Jadain.

1:02:26 Lou: Oh.

1:02:28 Ruby: And to you.

1:02:28 Liam: And to you.

1:02:30 Brennan: She smiles and—

1:02:30 Amethar: Jadain says, goodbye.

1:02:34 Lou: Me? Does she think that I'm Jadain?

1:02:37 Brennan: I assume you’ve been traveling without your like royal—

1:02:39 Lou: Yeah.

1:02:42 Brennan: Go ahead and make an Insight check.

1:02:44 Lou: Oh, very bad, 4.

1:02:48 Brennan: You have no idea what she thinks.

1:02:50 Lou: Great.

1:02:50 Brennan: She's addled or confused. Anyone else can make an Insight check that wants to.

1:02:56 Siobhan: I got a 21.

1:03:01 Brennan: You are in a section of Candia that is so remote now that this woman hadn't heard that Jadain is not the King anymore.

1:03:06 Lou: Oh, Jadain is my father.

1:03:06 Brennan: Jadain is your father.

1:03:09 Lou: Got it, Jadain, got it, I'm caught up.

1:03:12 Brennan: Yeah, Jadain, yeah, she literally says, like, “may health to you and to the good King Jadain.”

1:03:17 Brennan: And Ruby you're like- It's insulting in a different way than what happened in the Muffinfield town because this is like, wow, there are some people in the world who don't-

1:03:26 Ruby: How blissful. (Brennan and Murph laughing)

1:03:33 Brennan: And you guys head off into the mountains.

1:03:37 Zac: Hold it up for the camera.

1:03:37 Lou: No, I'm not gonna.

1:03:38 Brennan: What are you guys doing as you rest at night?

1:03:43 Murph: I think I also want to talk to Liam and just say kinda quietly as we sit around the fire, I just wanna say,

1:03:52 Theobald: Thank you for preserving Jet. That was, it would have been easy for you to just run away, but she deserved a—

1:04:04 Liam: She did. She did deserve that, yeah. It was second nature, so yeah. Those fucking guys, Ciabatta.

1:04:14 Theobald: Those fucking guys.

1:04:17 Liam: I say, first it's carrot.

1:04:17 Theobald: Mm-hmm.

1:04:20 Liam: I've been practicing a lot.

1:04:20 Theobald: Okay.

1:04:22 Liam: And I'm really accurate now, and I'm gonna fucking shred that carrot.

1:04:30 Theobald: Yes, I don't like to kind of show my angry side in front of the others, I try to keep it together, but between you and I-

1:04:36 Liam: Yeah.

1:04:37 Theobald: I would really like to shred that carrot.

1:04:38 Liam: Yeah, same way.

1:04:39 Theobald: Really like to shred that carrot.

1:04:40 Liam: And then I would like to shred that Ciabatta.

1:04:42 Ruby: I'm gonna slice that bread.

1:04:42 Liam: [startled] Whoa!

1:04:46 Theobald: Princess Ruby, we must practice safety.

1:04:47 Liam: What's this old bread lady doing here? (laughs)

1:04:52 Cumulous: I too would like to shred.

1:04:52 Liam: What is going on?

1:04:55 Theobald: Oh my God, good God, we need to be-

1:04:56 Liam: Can we not have one private conversation?

1:04:59 Cumulous: I've heard stories.

1:04:59 Brennan: Everyone, just for this first week go ahead and give me a group stealth check.

1:05:05 Ally: And we have-

1:05:05 Zac: With Pass Without Trace?

1:05:06 Brennan: No, 'cause Pass Without Trace is only an hour so we're not gonna do Pass Without Trace.

1:05:10 Murph: Can familiars help?

1:05:10 Siobhan: I got a not nat 20.

1:05:13 Brennan: Not nat 20.

1:05:13 Murph: Familiars help or no?

1:05:15 Brennan: No familiars help.

1:05:15 Siobhan: Oh.

1:05:16 Murph: Fuck me!

1:05:16 Lou: I got—

1:05:17 Murph: Oh, that is a natural 1.

1:05:17 Ally: Hey.

1:05:22 Brennan: Natural 1, 2—

1:05:22 Lou: I did a 7. This is a 7.

1:05:24 Brennan: A 7, sorry.

1:05:25 Ally: 17.

1:05:25 Zac: 13.

1:05:26 Lou: 7.

1:05:27 Siobhan: With just without familiar help I got a 14.

1:05:29 Brennan: Okay. You guys are traveling along and you're going through these deep woods. Now what I'd like- I'm gonna roll a little roll back here.

1:05:42 Murph: My familiar is helping me but also biting me so I'm yelping.

1:05:46 Ally: Ah!

1:05:49 Brennan: You guys are traveling through the woods up here. And you get to a- You're like exiting the forests now. You're exiting- These are like dark, purple, like lolly pines and then peppermint trees around them. You start getting into the rocky, like high mountains. You're going through a pass in this deep crevice with rocky ledges on either side of the actual Great Stone Candy Mountains. You look up ahead and you see that in the middle of the pass there is a fallen rock on top of what looks like a- There's a very small, like a child trying to pull an even smaller child out from under a fallen rock and you see a tiny, little gingerbread boy with a little kind of like Peter Pan cap in the classic- Like he's almost like two-dimensional. And you know, he's got like little buttons. And he's going,

1:06:51 Gingerbread Boy: [high, squealing] Oh, jeez, oh no! The rock fell down! Oh, don't die, my little buddy. Don't worry, we're gonna get you help, pal, oh!

1:07:03 Ally: I shoot him.

1:07:03 Brennan: You shoot him? (players clamoring)

1:07:05 Lou: Wait, wait, wait.

1:07:07 Zac: I do wanna make an Insight check on this for sure.

1:07:09 Ally: Yeah, me too, me too, Insight check before I fire.

1:07:11 Lou: Honestly, if Liam lifts his bow I go,

1:07:14 Amethar: (whispering) Yeah, that feels right. (laughing)

1:07:15 Siobhan: I got a 21.

1:07:17 Murph: I got another fucking 1.

1:07:17 Siobhan: Jesus.

1:07:19 Brennan: A fucking 1, cool.

1:07:19 Lou: I also got a nat 1.

1:07:21 Brennan: A nat 1.

1:07:21 Zac: I got 21.

1:07:22 Murph: I charge towards the ginger, I'm gonna say—

1:07:25 Cumulous: Wait.

1:07:25 Murph: I got a 1, and Theobald would try to help this kid.

1:07:28 Ally: He's bread, he's fucking bread, y'all, wake up. (Lou and Brennan laughing)

1:07:30 Ally: These are my mountains!

1:07:32 Lou: Wake up, y'all motherfuckers are bread!

1:07:34 Zac: This is fucking ambush looking.

1:07:36 Ally: Yeah.

1:07:36 Brennan: Theo rushes forward to help. As you rush forward you rush up to this little gingerbread boy and he goes,

1:07:44 Gingerbread Boy: Golly mister, thanks so much for—

1:07:47 Ally: I fire.

1:07:51 Brennan: I'm gonna need a Dexterity saving throw from you.

1:07:53 Ally: All right, all right, (laughs) what's my Dex?

1:07:56 Brennan: Oh, your Dexterity saving's in your saving throws column.

1:07:58 Ally: Interesting.

1:08:00 Murph: You got plus 7.

1:08:00 Ally: Plus 7. Good thing 'cause that's a 15.

1:08:05 Brennan: 15, you jump out of the way and your shot flies off as a net shoots up from the ground. And you guys see that the walls of the cliff around you on either side fill with about 40 people holding crossbows.

1:08:20 Siobhan: Jesus.

1:08:20 Murph: And I'm in a net?

1:08:23 Brennan: Yeah, you give me a Dexterity saving throw if you'd be so kind.

1:08:27 Murph: That's a 2! 1, 1, 2. Murph's back, baby! (Brennan laughing)

1:08:32 Zac: That's unreal.

1:08:32 Brennan: You go up in the net with the little gingerbread boy who brings the doll he's holding. He was holding a little doll. It was what he was trying to pull out from under the rock, he's holding it and he pulls out a little lollipop shard knife as he goes up in the net with you to hold it to your throat and goes,

1:08:52 Gingerbread Boy: I'm gonna put my knife inside you.

1:08:54 Theobald: What are you?

1:08:54 Gingerbread Boy: Right inside you.

1:08:56 Theobald: Why?

1:08:56 Gingerbread Boy: I don't give a shit.

1:08:57 Theobald: Where do you-

1:08:58 Gingerbread Boy: I'll end your fucking life.

1:08:59 Theobald: Where are your parents?

1:08:59 Gingerbread Boy: Oh, I fuckin'- They're dead.

1:09:01 Theobald: Why are they dead?

1:09:03 Gingerbread Boy: I put 'em in the fucking ground.

1:09:05 Theobald: Why?

1:09:05 Liam: What?

1:09:05 Gingerbread Boy: Why? Oh, because they wanted to send me to a little Bulbian monastery.

1:09:11 Theobald: I don't like the Bulb either!

1:09:13 Brennan: As you say that you see that there is a- You see he shouts up and says,

1:09:19 Gingerbread Boy: Hey Gooey, this guy says he doesn't like the Bulb!

1:09:23 Brennan: And you see that there is a deep sort of like dark purple with red hair chocolate warrior woman who's armored who just one half of her face is melting. She just looks like she's been horribly burned. She goes,

1:09:37 Gooey: Swifty, you say we have some enemies of the Church down there?

1:09:44 Swifty: Sounds like it, unless this guy's a little fucking liar!

1:09:47 Theobald: I'm not a liar, put the candy dagger away!

1:09:49 Swifty: You know what I do to liars, right?

1:09:51 Theobald: I don’t- I assume-

1:09:51 Swifty: The same thing I do to everybody!

1:09:53 Theobald: What you did to your parents.

1:09:54 Swifty: I stab 'em!

1:09:54 Theobald: I know, I know your parents-

1:09:57 Swifty: I'm a fucked up little guy.

1:09:58 Theobald: You're a fucked up little guy. Look, this has been a recent thing, but fuck the Bulb!

1:10:04 Amethar: Yeah, yeah, fuck the Bulb.

1:10:04 Theobald: We don't like the Bulb.

1:10:06 Zac: That child stabs everyone?

1:10:09 Brennan: You see that this enormous viking-looking kind of chocolate guy with this deeply chocolaty beard steps out, he's got like a horned helmet. You see that everyone sort of clanks their weapons at the same time as he steps out on a ledge. You see that Gooey looks over to him and says,

1:10:31 Gooey: What do you think, Jon Bon? [cocks her head towards Theo]

1:10:31 Cumulous: The man's name is Jon Bon.

1:10:36 Brennan: You see he looks down at you and says,

1:10:38 Jon Bon: [deep, gravelly voice] Jon Bon Bon Jon. Jon Bon and Cumulous exchange looks.

1:10:44 Cumulous: ...Do I say my name?

1:10:44 Brennan: You see he looks and says,

1:10:48 Jon Bon: Enemies of the Church. Enemies of the Church have business with the Queen.

1:10:57 Brennan: You hear, ringing off the walls you hear,

1:11:00 Marauders: Love live the Queen, long live the Queen, long live the Queen!

1:11:04 Murph: I look at Caramelinda.

1:11:05 Theobald: This is good, this is good!

1:11:05 Brennan: She looks and says,

1:11:08 Caramelinda: I think so?

1:11:08 Cumulous: Who is your Queen?

1:11:12 Brennan: You see that Jon Bon looks over to Gooey and goes,

1:11:15 Jon Bon: (laughs deeply) Who's our queen?

1:11:19 Brennan: Gooey looks back and goes, looks over at Swifty the little gingerbread man and says,

1:11:23 Gooey: (chuckles) Who is our queen?

1:11:26 Brennan: Swifty goes,

1:11:26 Swifty: (laughs hysterically) Who the fuck is our Queen?

1:11:31 Amethar: Do none of you know?

1:11:31 Ruby: Yeah, that's what we asked.

1:11:33 Swifty: I fucking know.

1:11:33 Brennan: And he stabs you a little bit.

1:11:34 Theobald: All right, ow, why, no!

1:11:34 Swifty: Oh!

1:11:37 Ally: I hold my bow up in the air and I go,

1:11:39 Liam: I'm from the House of Rocks! I'm Liam Wilhelmina, I live in these mountains. Take this net down immediately.

1:11:49 Swifty: Oh, it's Count Freezyburg, the Jawbreaker's boy. [Ally makes a shooting noise]

1:11:54 Brennan: You shoot him? yeah.

1:11:54 Ally: I fire at the fucking thing.

1:11:55 Brennan: Go for it, shoot him.

1:11:58 Ally: Yeah, interesting, that's 16.

1:12:02 Brennan: 16 is going to hit.

1:12:02 Ally: Cool.

1:12:04 Brennan: So you can go ahead and roll damage.

1:12:06 Zac: 16 hits that little boy?

1:12:06 Brennan: Hits that little boy.

1:12:08 Siobhan: It's your first attack of the day.

1:12:09 Ally: Yep, let's see, I got a lot with this one.

1:12:13 Siobhan: Fuck that little shit up.

1:12:13 Ally: I get Sneak Attack.

1:12:16 Siobhan: Yeah, you do 'cause he's next to...

1:12:21 Cumulous: We're all gonna die.

1:12:21 Siobhan: Theo.

1:12:24 Ally: That's, let's see, 14, 18, 20.

1:12:28 Theobald: I am going to use Swirlwarden and use my reaction to take the shot from Liam.

1:12:33 Brennan: You take the damage.

1:12:33 Liam: What are you doing?!

1:12:36 Theobald: Liam, calm down, okay?

1:12:36 Brennan: You see—

1:12:39 Theobald: If this little guy wanted to slit my throat, he would have done it, he's very stabby. He's only stabbed me a little bit.

1:12:44 Swifty: I only look like a kid, I'm 43 years old!

1:12:47 Theobald: He's 43 years old.

1:12:47 Liam: You're all talk!

1:12:49 Cumulous: I knew it!

1:12:49 Brennan: You see he looks at you and says,

1:12:53 Swifty: I used to be married.

1:12:57 Theobald: (laughs) Okay, what happened to your wife?

1:13:00 Cumulous: I don't care, I don't care.

1:13:00 Swifty: It didn't work out!

1:13:01 Liam: Why?

1:13:01 Ruby: Stop giving his backstory.

1:13:04 Swifty: Okay, yeah.

1:13:04 Liam: Why didn't your marriage work out?

1:13:05 Ruby: Who is the queen?

1:13:07 Cumulous: Can we talk to anyone else?

1:13:09 Brennan: You see he says,

1:13:09 Swifty: [threateningly] Oh sure, you can all talk to the queen.

1:13:14 Ruby: Yes, we want that!

1:13:14 Theobald: We would like to talk to the queen!

1:13:16 Liam: We have-

1:13:16 Brennan: You see they start going,

1:13:18 Marauders: [chanting] To the queen.

1:13:18 Ruby: Oh no!

1:13:19 Brennan: You see that these guys all are wearing makeshift armor. They have nasty, weird weapons, they look like stole- Everything they have looks like it was taken off of a bloody fucking corpse, and they scale and rappel down the mountainside, surround you guys, and begin to manacle all of you, just, (mimics metal latching)

1:13:40 Theobald: Liam—

1:13:40 Ally: Can I try to get out of it?

1:13:41 Siobhan: I make sure that my thieves' tools are hidden in my hands so I can-

1:13:43 Brennan: Give me a Sleight of Hand check.

1:13:45 Ally: I have thieves' tools also.

1:13:47 Brennan: You wanna Sleight of Hand 'em?

1:13:47 Ally: Mm-hmm.

1:13:47 Brennan: Cool.

1:13:48 Siobhan: With advantage or no?

1:13:48 Brennan: Yes, you can do it.

1:13:52 Ally: Yeah, 23!

1:13:52 Siobhan: 17.

1:13:54 Brennan: Cool, you stash these away and they begin to march you down the track and then you see that Jon Bon moves this enormous boulder and a hidden path that is part of a crevice that is like almost just from the natural formation of the rock like hidden from view as you walk past it. They begin to single file march you guys down. All of you have like five of these marauders in between you, they're all Candian you see, but all of them look like, fucked up or messed up. A lot of them have tattoos in Old Sucrosi like Sweetening Path stuff. None of them have anything Bulbian on them. You see that some of them have necklaces of like Ceresian or Vegetanian ears on like a leather thong. Some of them have stolen religious relics that have been defiled or marred and broken. They look—

1:14:48 Liam: These are Jet's people. (Brennan laughing)

1:14:50 Cumulous: Cousin, I think these are Candian hillbillies.

1:14:55 Ally: Would I know any of these people? Would they know Count Jawbreaker? Or can I start talking to people about that?

1:15:01 Brennan: Give me a Wisdom check, just a flat Wisdom check. Let's call it DC 15.

1:15:05 Ally: Okay, 10.

1:15:09 Brennan: Cool, you don't recognize any of these people personally, but they look like mountain folk. Although it's weird, some of them, like Jon Bon is clearly mountain folk, but some of them look like Candian sailors. One person's talking in like a Port Syrup accent. Other people seem to be from the West Cake or, you know, you even hear one person might be from Dulcington or something, but all of them- None of them look like they've been in civil society for years. These are not like people who are like, hey, maybe I'll join this marauder's gang 'cause times are hard. These are like, people who have been living this life for a while.

1:15:43 Zac: Mm-hmm.

1:15:47 Brennan: And you see that Swifty gets out of your net and says,

1:15:51 Swifty: I'll go give word to base camp. (wind rushing)

1:15:53 Brennan: And he is gone, there is just a blast of wind and he tears down the track and is vanished in a second.

1:16:00 Cumulous: Run, run, as fast as you can.

1:16:02 Liam: No, no.

1:16:05 Swifty: That's right, motherfucker. Fuck your shit up, fastest gingerbread man in the Great Stone-

1:16:09 Cumulous: Fuck my shit up?

1:16:10 Swifty: [truly upsetting level of shrieking] Right up, I don't give a fuck!

1:16:12 Brennan: And you see he just screams off into the mountains.

1:16:14 Amethar: Honestly I'm happier that he's gone.

1:16:17 Ruby: Yeah.

1:16:17 Amethar: I'm just glad he's not around, his voice is at a pitch that is truly, truly...

1:16:20 Ruby: Unpleasant.

1:16:23 Theobald: Sometimes I can't hear it.

1:16:23 Amethar: Exactly, yeah.

1:16:24 Theobald: I feel like I'm too old to hear it. (mumbles hysterically)

1:16:27 Ruby: I can hear every moment of it and it's terrible. I've never wanted to be older more.

1:16:31 Brennan: You guys are brought through this pass, Caramelinda looking around getting the impression that she's probably not the queen.

1:16:39 Murph: Theobald has also realized that at this point.

1:16:39 Theobald: Oh.

1:16:44 Brennan: You are brought to a giant cliff face that you see is full of ledges. There's like an old, there's menhir stones, there's standing stones with Sucrosi runes kind of like in The Sugar-Plum Fairy grove near Castle Candy and it looks like there's an ancient fortification here that is pre brick and mortar. It's like just stacked stones built into the natural formations of the cliff side. This place is old. It is covered in a layer of snow and it is freezing here, cold wind blows through this place. You see that this place has even more marauders. There's like probably 100 or 200 here. And as they bring you in they begin to march you into the caves that are illuminated by this sort of glowing, freezing light as you enter and you can see right away that this is not alchemical light. There is something magical at work here.

1:17:39 Zac: I think I just remembered a thing in our last fight where I remember when Liam was shooting his bow I felt a similar, maybe, feeling, presence. Is that, can I make a check to see if that feels correct-

1:17:55 Brennan: Sure, give me an Arcana check.

1:17:58 Zac: Okay. (laughs) So it's a 2.

1:18:02 Brennan: 2, cool, cool, cool. You're looking around, this place is wild. Even with a 2, it's powerful magic emanating from this place, but you don't see a similarity to Liam's thing here necessarily. You march through and you begin to hear. (chanting deeply) (mimics pounding) And the vibe of this queen, this is not like royal fanfare purely. You sense that the devotion of these followers to their queen borders on the religious. You are brought into this giant hall illuminated with these ice-blue torches being lit. You smell sugar and vanilla and freezing mint and deep, rich chocolate and a little hint of some cherry, a little cherry on top. You hear this chanting continue. (chanting deeply) (mimics pounding) And (mimics fire roaring) two huge braziers are lit. And as the fire begins to glow the light creeps up the stairs as the fires expand. You see that the woman, Gooey, stands on the other side of the beginning of these steps going up this dais to an enormous throne still in shadow, and as the light extends as the fires grow brighter she calls out,

1:19:33 Gooey: All kneel for Her Majesty, Queen Saccharina of the House of Frostwhip, first of her name, sovereign ruler of Candia and the Sugarlands, Witch-Queen of the Dairy Sea and High Priestess of the Sweetening Path, Archmage of Lost Sucrosia, and enemy of the faith. (mimics pounding) The Sundae Sorceress and Storm-Captain of the Frosted Fleet!

1:20:09 Brennan: (mimics pounding and fire roaring) The fire rages to its utmost height and you see for the first time the figure seated in the throne as your captors slam you to your knees. Emily, you wanna come in?

1:20:21 Siobhan: What? (laughing)

1:20:23 Zac: Why?

1:20:26 Murph: Is she Gooey?

1:20:29 Ally: What? (laughing)

1:20:31 Lou: Are you Swifty? Swifty.

1:20:31 Emily: I'm Swifty!

1:20:31 Brennan: Yeah!

1:20:35 Siobhan: Oh my God, you're so annoying.

1:20:36 Emily: I'm back, baby, and I got spell cards!

1:20:40 Players: Oh!

1:20:42 Siobhan: Oh my God, that's even more than I have. How did we do this? How did we get all spelly again? (laughing)

1:20:49 Brennan: As the fire reaches the throne, Emily, could you please describe the figure they see illuminated towering over the hall.

1:20:58 Emily: Okay, so I'm basically like a warrior ice cream sundae. I have sort of like a caramel cape going down my back. I've got sort of cherry epaulets, very military, but also sweet. And then I've got a Mohawk that's dyed to be the colors of Neapolitan ice cream. And at my side I have Winterscoop the Spooning Staff, and then I've also got two swords. (Siobhan gasps)

1:21:31 Zac: What?

1:21:32 Brennan: Yes indeed, this woman is partially armored holding a clearly magical staff in the shape of a giant wood-wrought spoon frosted with ice cream on the top.

1:21:45 Emily: And I'm also wearing plate mail.

1:21:47 Brennan: Yes, that is correct and then has a full long sword, short sword bound set with the magical sword Freezerburn at her side. You behold Saccharina. Saccharina, you see the prisoners have been brought to you.

1:22:08 Ally: I use my mage tools to undo my thing, but still look like I'm being held.

1:22:10 Siobhan: Oh yeah, me, too, yeah. And I also use my Mage Hand to unlock everybody else's.

1:22:19 Saccharina: I would have freed you soon enough. [little laugh] Hi.

1:22:24 Ruby: We're not free.

1:22:28 Saccharina: Well, I mean, no one really is in a monarchy if you think about it, right?

1:22:31 Liam: Wow.

1:22:34 Cumulous: Aren't you a queen?

1:22:34 Saccharina: Yes. I am the legal heir. Well, I am instead, I am the legal Queen of Candia and the Sugarlands.

1:22:46 Brennan: Queen Caramelinda looks at you and says,

1:22:48 Caramelinda: By what claim are you legal queen of Candia?

1:22:54 Saccharina: Oh, I'm sorry, was I introduced as Saccharina Frostwhip? Some other people might know me as Saccharina Ghee. Amethar groans slightly.

1:23:02 Liam: Word travels really fast. I'm Liam, I am also from these Candy Mountains.

1:23:09 Saccharina: Ah yes, oh, you are the child of Jawbreaker.

1:23:12 Liam: Yes, exactly.

1:23:14 Saccharina: I have heard such wonderful things about all of your mothers and fathers.

1:23:19 Liam: Yes, they're great. I was wondering since you know who I am you could let me go and I could shoot that gingerbread guy in the face.

1:23:28 Saccharina: Swifty.

1:23:28 Liam: Mm-hmm.

1:23:30 Saccharina: Yeah, it doesn't work—

1:23:30 Swifty: Love to see you try, asshole!

1:23:32 Liam: Oh, come on!

1:23:34 Saccharina: Yeah, I—

1:23:34 Liam: I get out of my chains. I didn't need 'em.

1:23:36 Saccharina: Honestly, Swifty's a sick fuck, take a stab at him. Liam immediately yells in rage.

1:23:40 Swifty: You're stupid if you think I wouldn't be into it.

1:23:44 Liam: What?

1:23:44 Theobald: He's gonna like it. Just don't hurt him.

1:23:46 Liam: You wanna die?

1:23:47 Swifty: Oh, life is torture! (laughs)

1:23:52 Liam: I kind of agree, can I make Swifty my new familiar?

1:23:56 Theobald: You wanna be friends with him, Liam?

1:23:58 Liam: Look, he kind of reminds me a lot of Preston. Preston always had a weird look in his eye.

1:24:02 Swifty: Who's Preston? I don't have context for this.

1:24:06 Lou: I stand up.

1:24:10 Amethar: So, I'm looking at my daughter. (soft instrumental music)

1:24:19 Saccharina: Uh, you said it, not me. Don't worry, I'm not here to sort of rekindle some relationship or make up for lost time. I have no illusions about any of that, but I do think that we could all be of use to each other.

1:24:39 Amethar: I mean, I believe that, definitely.

1:24:40 Liam: Yeah.

1:24:40 Amethar: I guess one thing, starting this relationship off, this already poor relationship off with some bad news, no longer is House Rocks heir to the throne, I've been dethroned and-

1:25:00 Saccharina: Yes.

1:25:00 Amethar: Jordan [sic] of House Jawbreaker is now king.

1:25:02 Saccharina: Well, you were excommunicated, but the daughter of your legal marriage still has a claim to the throne, and perhaps a less controversial one than Jawbreaker who is in open rebellion with the Concord?

1:25:22 Amethar: Right, I mean, shit.

1:25:22 Ruby: I'm sorry, are we supporting this person?

1:25:25 Brennan: Everyone here go ahead and give me a flat Intelligence check.

1:25:34 Murph: 14.

1:25:34 Lou: 11.

1:25:36 Zac: 10.

1:25:36 Brennan: Or actually History.

1:25:37 Murph: Oh, sweet.

1:25:37 Lou: Oh, in that case 11.

1:25:41 Siobhan: My History is worse than my Intelligence so I got a 10.

1:25:43 Murph: What'd I say, 14?

1:25:43 Brennan: Hm?

1:25:45 Murph: I said 14?

1:25:45 Brennan: Yeah.

1:25:45 Murph: That's actually 16.

1:25:48 Brennan: Theobald, as Saccharina speaks— By the way, you see that Saccharina's forces, as you guys stand and take your manacles off, all of them back away.

1:26:00 Saccharina: Oh, let me make you more comfortable.

1:26:02 Emily: I Create Bonfire for them.

1:26:04 Brennan: (mimics fire roaring) In a raw display of magic Saccharina creates a roaring, warm fire in front of you.

1:26:10 Saccharina: I like it a lot colder than most people, but I'm sympathetic to other people's temperatures. [smiling]

1:26:15 Brennan: Theobald, you recognize that what Saccharina has just said is profoundly accurate. (pensive instrumental music)

1:26:30 Brennan: If Saccharina is who she says she is, if she is the daughter of Amethar Rocks and Catherine Ghee that means that even with excommunicating Amethar, the Pontifex could not have expelled Candia from the Concord if the crown didn't pass to Joren Jawbreaker which means that all of this, all of Ciabatta being in Dulcington and Castle Candy, all of this is wrong. In other words, the Dairy Lands wouldn't be in any danger of supporting you and in fact Vegetania, everybody else, there is no removal of Candia from the Concord if the crown didn't pass to Joren. And if this person is telling the truth then that means the crown didn't pass to Joren, it passed to her.

1:27:28 Murph: I'd like to cast Message and relay that to my king.

1:27:37 Lou: Can I make an Insight check as to whether or not I believe this person to be my daughter?

1:27:42 Brennan: Give me an insight check with advantage.

1:27:44 Lou: Great. Uh yeah, that's gonna be 20, oh sorry, 19.

1:27:52 Brennan: With a 19, what does Amethar see on your face?

1:27:55 Emily: He sees Catherine Ghee's eyes for sure.

1:28:01 Brennan: Not only do you see Catherine Ghee's eyes, you see a familiar swagger. Obviously Saccharina has a very unique bearing. She, from how she got introduced she's here as a witch-queen deep in the mountains with a band of marauders serving her in a reverent tone. You see Catherine Ghee's eyes and you see that as she sort of stands at the front of her throne her standing in a manner of confidence and unafraid welcome matches a pose that you recognize in yourself.

1:28:49 Lou: Ah, I message back to Theobald.

1:28:49 Amethar: Yeah.

1:28:55 Saccharina: Now, I hope you don't mind, as soon as I heard what the nets dragged in I prepared a little feast for you. I assumed you would all be hungry.

1:29:06 Liam: Oh, I'm pretty hungry.

1:29:10 Theobald: Forgive us, Lady Saccharina.

1:29:10 Saccharina: Forgiven, moving on.

1:29:18 Theobald: We've been betrayed quite a few times recently. If you knew we were coming why were we brought in nets?

1:29:34 Saccharina: Oh, I didn't know you were coming. I didn't mean to catch you in the net. What I've been trying to catch in the net is people who are trying to attack me. That was a mere coincidence, but Swifty ran ahead and told me of the sort of arcane power of the party that he had just picked up, and I suppose I didn't know I was preparing a feast for my father and my little sister and a cotton candy man, but—

1:30:02 Cumulous: We are actually related, too, very distantly.

1:30:05 Amethar: Yeah, he's your cousin Cumulous.

1:30:08 Saccharina: I actually recognize you. Are you of the Order of the Spinning Star?

1:30:18 Cumulous: Spinning Star, yes.

1:30:20 Saccharina: (sighs) I can just feel Lazuli's fingerprints all over you.

1:30:28 Ruby: Oh, please, you don't...

1:30:30 Saccharina: I don't what?

1:30:37 Ruby: You're not my sister, and you're not my queen.

1:30:41 Saccharina: Honestly, I don't need to be either.

1:30:44 Ruby: Good!

1:30:46 Brennan: You see that Gooey kneels in front of you and says,

1:30:50 Gooey: Your Majesty, my queen, I'm sorry that we accosted your family so roughly. In the manner of their dress we thought they were Bulbians come up the pass from Muffinfield. My apologies, Your Majesty.

1:31:03 Liam: I thought I kinda like the shirt, I like it. This is Bulbian camo?

1:31:11 Saccharina: It's a little Bulbian.

1:31:15 Liam: I pick up candy and I just start...

1:31:17 Saccharina: A lot of the Bulbian missionaries wear camo. They come up here with their guitars and their camo.

1:31:24 Liam: No!

1:31:24 Saccharina: They sing songs.

1:31:27 Cumulous: How do you know of Lazuli?

1:31:30 Saccharina: Well, I've studied just about everything she's ever done. I am her niece, after all so I've seen her in some dreams long ago, but I also...

1:31:53 Liam: What kinda—

1:31:53 Saccharina: I'm chasing— Oh sorry, yes?

1:31:56 Liam: What?

1:31:56 Saccharina: Forgiven.

1:31:57 Liam: No, thank you, so polite! Whoa, it's almost unnerving.

1:32:06 Saccharina: I'm on a quest to unearth some of her more explosive studies.

1:32:15 Zac: Can I make a Insight check to see if-

1:32:17 Murph: Yeah, can I also?

1:32:17 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:32:18 Murph: Theobald is very interested in this.

1:32:21 Zac: Is it, it's-

1:32:21 Murph: Oh hell yeah, that is a 21.

1:32:24 Zac: 16.

1:32:24 Brennan: 16, okay. Cumulous, what are you looking for in Saccharina?

1:32:30 Emily: Bra size 36C.

1:32:36 Ally: Two scoops. [cast laughs, especially Emily]

1:32:36 Zac: I message...

1:32:38 Emily: Actually three, I am a sundae.

1:32:48 Zac: I'm trying to understand what she means by explosive studies.

1:32:52 Brennan: You focus your sight on her. With a 16, you have not seen anyone this powerfully magical since the Archmage Lazuli. Immediately the thought crosses your mind about all of the lost secrets, the fact that like you said before, all of these arcane and powerful machines and spells and arcane focuses that the Archmage Lazuli had created have been worn and lost to time and beyond repair and none of your order know how to fix them. You think of your teleportation rune. You think of all of the standing stones around the countryside and you look at Saccharina and immediately see someone with the arcane power to bring some of that old world back.

1:33:51 Emily: Can I have like a tiny storm happening in my hand. (Brennan mimics wind howling)

1:33:57 Ruby: Okay, now she's just showing off.

1:34:00 Amethar: I don't like it.

1:34:00 Ruby: I hate this.

1:34:02 Brennan: You think about the exhaustion.

1:34:03 Saccharina: I can hear you.

1:34:03 Ruby: I know.

1:34:07 Brennan: Of maintenance which is what the Order of the Spinning Star has done, just trying to prevent the loss of anything more. And a feeling comes over Cumulous of having spent so much of your life fighting just to prevent loss, seeing someone that could actually bring things back.

1:34:29 Zac: I think Cumulous bows.

1:34:29 Saccharina: Oh, thank you. A handshake will do, though. [holds out her hand] Cumulous, who is on significantly lower floor than her, reaches very far up to shake her hand. (cast laughing)

1:34:39 Emily: I lean down from the dais.

1:34:39 Brennan: From the dais. You see that your marauders start bringing out tables and mess halls like, there's clearly an amount of royal reverence here, but also you guys are like marauders in the mountains so like some rough-hewn tables of Candian food starts coming out, big cauldrons of stew. It's getting a little Robin Hoody in here for sure. Theobald, you got a 21, right?

1:35:02 Murph: Yeah.

1:35:04 Brennan: What are you looking for?

1:35:06 Murph: I think to Theo she's kind of saying all of the right things and I think I just look down at my new familiar, Princess, and I go,

1:35:21 Theobald: Jet, Lazuli, should we trust her?

1:35:28 Brennan: Hold on one second. [rolls a die, then hisses] Bites your hand.

1:35:36 Theobald: Well, you do that all the time, but that's not super helpful, Princess.

1:35:39 Brennan: Bites it three times.

1:35:39 Theobald: Oh, okay. That seems different.

1:35:42 Murph: I also bow.

1:35:45 Saccharina: Again, we shake hands here. No one has gotten the memo, but yeah.

1:35:50 Cumulous: Cousin, I know that this is enormously complicated, but I think that this is a very good thing.

1:36:00 Amethar: I mean, I don't think it's a bad thing, but the truth is, Your Highness, Majesty.

1:36:08 Saccharina: You can just call me Saccharina, I am your daughter.

1:36:12 Amethar: Great, Saccharina, as much as a feast would be pleasant right now, we are currently committed to defending Candia which is currently under attack by the Bulbian Church, and we really have no time for a feast.

1:36:32 Saccharina: I suppose what I am- First off, I am delighted to hear that time is of the essence to you because it is for me as well. I merely offered a feast as a sort of olive branch.

1:36:46 Theobald: We do need to eat.

1:36:46 Saccharina: And we do have a very hospitable guestroom, you know, for times like this. No one's ever stayed in it so the registrar is empty, but that doesn't matter, the point is that Candia is currently under attack, but if you were to proclaim me Queen then the Pontifex would have no reason to come after Candia unless she wanted to show her true colors.

1:37:18 Ruby: Well, except for the fact that you're clearly a heretic.

1:37:22 Saccharina: I don't believe she's ever gone after someone for just, you know, just rumor of heresy.

1:37:31 Ruby: She went after Liam for rumors of heresy, she locked Liam up.

1:37:36 Brennan: You see Manta Ray speaks up and says,

1:37:41 Manta Ray: Right, I think she locked Master Wilhelmina up for casting a spell in the Grand Tourney. When it was just a rumor of the highway no one had moved upon the Candian royal family. Basha Myaso, everyone in the world knows that he follows the Great Beast, but he proclaims himself a Bulbian when he's in Comida.

1:38:05 Saccharina: There is a general respect from the Concord for the worship or practices in one's home country.

1:38:16 Ruby: [angrily] How would you know? You just came here out of nowhere. Where have you even been? Are you just hiding away?

1:38:26 Saccharina: No, unfortunately in order to be seen as a penniless orphan who escaped a nunnery, I've had to very slowly work my way around this world and earn every single follower I've ever had. So no, I actually haven't hidden because that would be certain death for someone born with nothing.

1:38:46 Amethar: Enough!

1:38:49 Lou: I take the crown off my head and I throw it. (metal clanking)

1:38:51 Amethar: You want it, you got it, now help us protect this place.

1:38:57 Saccharina: That is all I want to do.

1:38:57 Amethar: Great.

1:39:03 Siobhan: Can I see how my mom is reacting to all of this?

1:39:08 Brennan: She is like, she is full- “This might as well happen.” She's staring ahead with just a vacant look in her eyes of, like, how bad could Amethar's mistake have gotten? Great, it's all the way as bad as it can get. With the exception being that, yeah, I mean, it's the extra, she makes eye contact with you. You see she looks at you and says,

1:39:42 Caramelinda: My daughter and I are going to take our meals in privacy. We've been traveling for a long time and I think a private meal, less noise, and a bath would be welcome.

1:39:51 Brennan: She puts her arm around your shoulder and walks off with you. Yeah, you just see the look in her face of processing the personal indignity of it all and the added injury of the political reality of Candia improving with the entrance of Amethar's offspring. That her claim, if it is respected and announced to the world, actually means something potentially very helpful for Candia. And the fact that that's true and that immediately swallowing this is good for the realm, means your mother hates it even more. She walks off with you.

1:40:42 Ruby: [whispering] I hate this so much.

1:40:46 Brennan: She squeezes your shoulder.

1:40:49 Saccharina: King Amethar.

1:40:49 Amethar: Hmm.

1:40:53 Saccharina: May I have a word with you at least in the corner?

1:40:58 Amethar: I mean, it doesn't have to be in the corner unless that's where you want it. Like, you want to be private?

1:41:06 Saccharina: I try not to be private with my politics, but it's personal.

1:41:08 Amethar: All right.

1:41:14 Saccharina: I am sorry that this is the way that I met you. I guess when I was young I always hoped that I would meet you someday. (soft instrumental music)

1:41:28 Saccharina: And I know that, you know, I knew that I would have to sort of earn the love that your other daughters so naturally got, but I just, I thought, I don't know. I'm sorry that I appear to be such an inconvenience to you and your family. I didn't intend for it to be this way. I guess I thought we might all find each other useful.

1:42:02 Amethar: Saccharina, you are currently the greatest boon that Candia has. It's just that we have been through so much and have so little love in our hearts to give. When this is all over I'm sure things will be different.

1:42:27 Saccharina: I understand, I'm just trying to apologize for how upset I seem to have made your party. I thought if I had a feast...

1:42:33 Amethar: I understand.

1:42:37 Saccharina: Then perhaps it would start things off on the right foot.

1:42:42 Amethar: No, I mean, I see where you're coming from and it's just, Ruby and Caramelinda have been through so much that it's, I can't even imagine where they are right now. And to meet you in this way is just hard.

1:43:05 Saccharina: Well, I believe I may have been equally inconvenient for my mother and your wife. (sighs) But there is just so much to do. So who has time to dwell?

1:43:21 Amethar: Exactly.

1:43:25 Saccharina: Everyone, is everyone eating enough?

1:43:27 Brennan: Manta Ray Jack is like,

1:43:27 Manta Ray: Right, this is great. This is really good.

1:43:29 Ally: Liam's eating a ton.

1:43:31 Murph: Yeah, Theobald's quietly housing a ton of food.

1:43:34 Saccharina: We actually make a really good fermented milk.

1:43:36 Liam: Ooh, I like that!

1:43:36 Saccharina: Fermented yak milk.

1:43:39 Cumulous: Yak?

1:43:41 Brennan: You see that there's a lot of ice cream guys here. It's very clear that a lot of Saccharina's crew, that she's clearly spent a lot of time in the Dairy Sea. And even one of her titles is Witch-Queen of the Dairy Sea. You see there's a lot of pirate-y, occult-looking Dairy sailors as part of her crew as well. Yeah, a weird mix of occult Sucrosi Sweetening Path people and rough and tumble sailor-looking warriors. Those who wish to feast, feast. Caramelinda comes into a private quarters. Some of these people come and draw a bath. There's some food brought to you. Caramelinda looks up. (soft piano music)

1:44:35 Ruby: This is, are we letting this happen? Are you letting this happen?

1:44:47 Caramelinda: I can't remember the last time when it felt like I handle on my own life.

1:44:55 Ruby: But you are the handle.

1:45:00 Caramelinda: Am I? Did I ever stop you or your father or anyone else from doing what they were going to do? Or have I just spent my whole life crowing for nothing? You're a woman grown and now the secret is revealed. All of the crowns on all the heads of all the kingdoms of the world don't know, don't know what they're doing and don't know what's going to happen next and don't know how to stop it. Here's what I have control over, I'm gonna take a bath and I'm gonna eat something.

1:45:48 Ruby: (sighs) Well, I'm not.

1:45:51 Siobhan: What I would like to do is I'd like to cast Invisibility on myself and I'd like to sneak around and see if I can see what is going on here 'cause I am so deeply suspicious of everything and everyone.

1:46:03 Brennan: Cool.

1:46:03 Ally: I'm chewing really loud.

1:46:05 Brennan: Give me an investigation check.

1:46:10 Emily: At some point I want to talk to Theobald.

1:46:11 Siobhan: Investigation, 16.

1:46:11 Brennan: Cool. Lot of stolen loot, lot of weapons. This is the hideaway of the merry men. This is a place for Saccharina's marauders to be. They are surviving on stolen food and weaponry. And it's gruesome. I mean, it's an army that has forged itself out of nothing. There's no taxes here, there's no banners that are made in a fancy shop somewhere. This is an army that was forged from common people by a fucking sorceress out of the wild white sea.

1:46:54 Siobhan: Can I take the amulet of Lazuli out and see if that's doing anything for me again?

1:47:03 Brennan: (mimics wind howling) You look around. There's just a moment of seeing your shadow on the wall. (pause) You see, you know, there's like Saccharina's quarters which are elsewhere in the compound, but there's a lot of people that are, it's not that they're like locked. It's like there's just people kind of in them walking around and doing stuff in them. It does seem pretty transparent and kinda chummy here. And there's a lot of shit about- You see that there are artifacts of the Order of the Spinning Star. It looks like they're trying to assemble a lot of lost Candian lore here. And there's also a room with troop movements. They're trying to keep track of what armies are doing in the mountains, where they are, what they're up to.

1:48:02 Siobhan: Can I take a look at that and see?

1:48:05 Brennan: Yes, you see obviously there is Jawbreaker's little flag. Cruller has a flag on Castle Candy. And you see, you know, Saccharina's troops are scattered throughout the mountains as well, and then there's a lot of Imperials and Ceresians. Actually, more Ceresians than Imperials in the mountains. And you see one or two flags of Bulbian holy orders.

1:48:29 Emily: Can I do a Perception check to try to sense that she's invisible?

1:48:33 Brennan: Yeah, go ahead and give me a perception check.

1:48:34 Emily: Just in case I nat 20.

1:48:34 Brennan: Yeah.

1:48:36 Emily: Can I get a help action from Gooey?

1:48:37 Brennan: Sure.

1:48:37 Siobhan: Is Gooey your familiar?

1:48:40 Brennan: No, Gooey's her right-hand woman.

1:48:40 Emily: I just figure she's like my right-hand woman, I could like...

1:48:44 Brennan: Yeah.

1:48:44 Emily: Okay, come on.

1:48:49 Siobhan: Try and see me, bitch.

1:48:49 Emily: (laughs) I'm gonna try. Okay, 25.

1:48:57 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Stealth check with advantage and add plus 10 for invisibility.

1:49:00 Siobhan: Stealth with advantage?

1:49:03 Brennan: : Yeah, stealth with advantage, add-

1:49:05 Siobhan: Well, plus 10 already, I have 17 plus 7 so...

1:49:12 Ally: 24.

1:49:12 Siobhan: 24.

1:49:13 Murph: 24, 25.

1:49:13 Brennan: Wait, what were the two numbers you rolled?

1:49:16 Siobhan: I got a 24.

1:49:16 Brennan: Oh, you got a 24.

1:49:19 Siobhan: Yeah. Goddammit.

1:49:19 Brennan: You sense a skulking little invisible thing going around in your quarters.

1:49:25 Emily: Can I just whisper, like, just look for the warmth? Being like a cold woman I could probably sense like the warmth of a body a bit. And I just wanna lean in and say,

1:49:35 Saccharina: I'm not here to take your family, little sister. I look forward to the day that we are friends.

1:49:47 Siobhan: Invisibly flipping her off.

1:49:50 Brennan: (laughs) Incredible.

1:49:50 Siobhan: You can't see me.

1:49:58 Zac: I feel like Cumulous is holding artifacts, just crying.

1:50:02 Brennan: There's a whole room, there's like a rough-hewn cave wall of like, new artifact, you're holding it. New artifact, you're holding it, just touching stuff and being incredibly moved.

1:50:11 Murph: I do think I'd like to speak to Saccharina.

1:50:14 Brennan: Go for it.

1:50:14 Murph: I'd like to find her.

1:50:16 Brennan: Yeah.

1:50:16 Murph: So I kinda walk over to her. And Theobald's in this really weird place where he is like, subservient to the family but also this is, he wants all of this magic stuff to happen so...

1:50:32 Brennan: I will bring up actually, Theobald serves the sovereign ruler of Candia.

1:50:39 Murph: Right, yes, but Theobald's pretty attached to his current people so he's like, really divided. But I think I'm just gonna kinda casually go up to Saccharina.

1:50:54 Saccharina: Did you try the fermented yak milk?

1:50:55 Theobald: Yes, it was excellent, thank you. [cast laughs]

1:51:00 Saccharina: Forgiven.

1:51:00 Theobald: Yeah. Pardon for skipping the small talk, but you've had visions of Lazuli?

1:51:13 Saccharina: Yes. When I was very young, when my powers were beginning to manifest themself I, well, I was in a place that did not support magic and I believe that connection was all but beaten out of me, if I may be so blunt. But I do recognize her fingerprint on you.

1:51:50 Theobald: You can see that?

1:51:51 Saccharina: Well, her arcane energy is just so powerful and strong and intoxicating I feel like I can smell it on someone.

1:52:00 Theobald: Right, yeah, she was...

1:52:01 Saccharina: And you, well, you don't stink, but you know, there's a whiff, there's a whiff.

1:52:04 Theobald: Right, yeah, it's just like an arcane-

1:52:05 Saccharina: I mean, Cumulous stinks.

1:52:05 Theobald: Right, yes.

1:52:07 Saccharina: You know, but there's a whiff from you. Cumulous is still crying over artifacts.

1:52:11 Theobald: Well, his tears are so like, gooey.

1:52:13 Saccharina: Gooey, will you set up a sleeping bag in the arcane room for Cumulous.

1:52:20 Gooey: Your Majesty, absolutely.

1:52:20 Saccharina: Yeah.

1:52:23 Gooey: He's crying a lot, should I...?

1:52:26 Theobald: I feel like he's gonna fall apart.

1:52:27 Saccharina: Is it a danger to him?

1:52:27 Theobald: I've known him for two days.

1:52:29 Saccharina: To cry like this? [Cumulous gasping emotionally]

1:52:33 Theobald: He seems to have survived for a long time so I would assume so, but he also worked with Lazuli.

1:52:39 Saccharina: (laughing) I mean, it's just… Oh, he found...

1:52:48 Theobald: He found the ring pop.

1:52:48 Saccharina: He found the ring pop. The ring pop. (Brennan laughing)

1:52:56 Saccharina: This is why I do what I do. Do you see what magic does for people? Oh, there is just nothing more beautiful.

1:53:04 Ruby: I see visions of Lazuli, too, you're not special.

1:53:08 Saccharina: Yeah, but I also see you even when you're invisible.

1:53:11 Theobald: Wait, Ruby, are you in here?

1:53:14 Ruby: I don't care if you can see me, I can see you.

1:53:16 Theobald: Ruby, none of you wanted to be Queen or anything until just now.

1:53:20 Saccharina: Oh yeah, guess what? I could cast Invisibility on myself and then we could see if you can see me.

1:53:24 Ruby: Good, I hope you do.

1:53:25 Theobald: All right, children.

1:53:25 Ruby: I hope you do.

1:53:26 Theobald: Everyone relax.

1:53:26 Saccharina: Honestly, it feels really fun to bicker because I didn't have a sister.

1:53:34 Ruby: [on the verge of tears] Well, I had one and she's dead and you can't replace her.

1:53:37 Siobhan: I run away.

1:53:40 Murph: I'm still just yelling at Ruby as she's gone 'cause I have no idea.

1:53:42 Saccharina: She's gone, she's gone.

1:53:44 Theobald: She's gone, oh.

1:53:44 Saccharina: It was really loud, it was really loud running away. I'm surprised you didn't hear.

1:53:46 Theobald: Okay, sorry, with the helmet on I can be...

1:53:48 Saccharina: She slipped at one point. She very obviously opened the door.

1:53:52 Ruby: I didn't slip!

1:53:56 Saccharina: Ah, well...

1:53:56 Cumulous: What's this sleeping bag? Who's it for?

1:53:58 Gooey: Her Majesty the Witch-Queen of the Dairy Sea recommended I get a sleeping bag and a pillow and some fresh towels for you if you wanna sleep in the armory hall. (Zac sobbing softly)

1:54:14 Saccharina: He's gonna cry himself away.

1:54:17 Zac: Cumulous just lays down immediately.

1:54:21 Gooey: You don't have to go to sleep right now.

1:54:23 Cumulous: Right- Not right now?

1:54:23 Theobald: It's nine o'clock.

1:54:24 Cumulous: Okay.

1:54:27 Saccharina: What was your relation to Lazuli?

1:54:30 Theobald: I, um...

1:54:30 Saccharina: I see her in your armor and...

1:54:34 Theobald: Yes, well, I guess I was her bodyguard although the idea of her having a bodyguard is kind of ridiculous. I carried her scrolls around generally.

1:54:44 Saccharina: Gooey carries mine.

1:54:44 Gooey: [waves] I carry it.

1:54:48 Theobald: That's- Well met, Gooey.

1:54:48 Liam: Is there a place I can get some more of that fermented goat's milk?

1:54:53 Gooey: Yak milk, right this way.

1:54:53 Liam: Okay, this place is awesome!

1:55:00 Theobald: Well, recently we've had some of our own run-ins with the Bulbian Church so my faith in the Candian spirits has been reawakened.

1:55:20 Saccharina: That is music to my ears. All I, I mean, I'm sure I'll have to explain this to everyone at some point because I think I've made a real fuck-up of a first impression, but I don't really care about the Candian throne. I see it merely as a very fancy tool. My real goal is what I believe to be Lazuli's goal is to just bring about a golden age of magic and destroy the Church.

1:56:00 Murph: I hold up my little Princess snake and I go—

1:56:07 Saccharina: Beautiful beast.

1:56:07 Theobald: Thank you, yes.

1:56:09 Saccharina: We have a lot of those in here in the mountains.

1:56:12 Theobald: I think I know someone who would have liked you very much.

1:56:16 Saccharina: The snake would have liked me?

1:56:18 Theobald: Well the snake, no, she's representative of another. Nevermind-

1:56:21 Saccharina: Lazuli, are you saying Lazuli would have liked me?

1:56:23 Theobald: Um, no-

1:56:25 Saccharina: What is the relation of the snake to Lazuli?

1:56:27 Theobald: I'm gonna go get some more, what is that, yak milk, Liam!

1:56:30 Liam: Yeah, I kinda just ate the rest of it.

1:56:34 Brennan: You guys continue to feast. As you do, after the feast, the fires begin to dwindle down to embers. The guard is set, you hear the howling of the wind outside and you guys draw together. Gooey looks over at you, Saccharina, and says,

1:56:52 Gooey: Um, Your Majesty, do you wish me to bring out the maps now that all is feasted and done?

1:57:01 Saccharina: Yes.

1:57:01 Brennan: You see that she brings out a number of maps, they set up those troop things there.

1:57:12 Liam: Would you like me to bring out my seeds?

1:57:15 Saccharina: I would love to see your collections of seeds. There is so much magic inside of seeds.

1:57:20 Ruby: Oh my God, stop sucking up.

1:57:20 Saccharina: Do you know one time I ate a bunch of seeds and I could fly?

1:57:23 Ruby: She is such a suck-up.

1:57:23 Liam: That happened to my pig!

1:57:27 Saccharina: Really?

1:57:27 Liam: Yes, oh my God!

1:57:28 Saccharina: I mean, I'm limited in how much I can fly, but it was almost as if the winds obey my command sometimes.

1:57:34 Liam: Yes, yes, sister! Okay, no one has wanted to see my seed book in quite a time!

1:57:41 Ally: (mimics book plopping on table) I put it on top of the maps.

1:57:43 Brennan: You see Gooey goes,

1:57:43 Gooey: Oh, oh, oh, okay, no!

1:57:45 Liam: Oh, sorry!

1:57:47 Brennan: She starts to put stuff back. You go to look at the map. First of all, you see that you saw this before. The map has changed somewhat and you see that Gooey takes the Jawbreaker flag away from Castle Manylicks and puts it deeper into the Great Stone Candy Mountains. Doesn't address it or anything but just puts Jawbreaker's flag away from Castle Manylicks. You see, Saccharina, that Gooey places a little figure of an ice cream cone deep in the Great Stone Candy Mountains and places several books and tomes next to you in ancient Sucrosi.

1:58:28 Emily: I open them and I start reading really knowledgeably. I look like I really understand it.

1:58:35 Brennan: You see-

1:58:35 Siobhan: Can I do an Insight check to see if she can actually read?

1:58:38 Murph: She's really going in on those books.

1:58:39 Brennan: Give me an Insight check.

1:58:39 Murph: Can you not read?

1:58:42 Siobhan: I rolled a 17.

1:58:42 Brennan: 17, she can read, it looks like.

1:58:46 Siobhan: All right.

1:58:47 Emily: I'm all about Sucrosi.

1:58:47 Murph: Yep, that all adds up. I see her mouthing the words that are on the page.

1:58:52 Cumulous: Saccharina, is this related to...

1:58:53 Brennan: Anyone who wants to look at one of these books-

1:58:55 Emily: I do Thaumaturgy on my eyes so they're going crazy like I'm speed reading.

1:58:57 Brennan: Is welcome to do either a Nature or Arcana check.

1:59:00 Ally: Definitely.

1:59:00 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:59:00 Murph: I'll do an arcana check.

1:59:00 Lou: I'll do a nature check.

1:59:04 Siobhan: I got a 22.

1:59:04 Ally: 21.

1:59:05 Murph: I rolled a 2.

1:59:05 Brennan: 21?

1:59:06 Siobhan: 22.

1:59:06 Zac: Doesn't matter, flat 10.

1:59:09 Brennan: Did anyone get higher than a 21?

1:59:11 Siobhan: I got a 22.

1:59:11 Brennan: 22?

1:59:12 Lou: I got an 18 Nature check.

1:59:12 Brennan: 18 Nature check. So 21 Nature, 22 Arcana. You see a ton of arcana shit. You also see on this map, so you're looking at arcana. You see a ton of stuff written in Lazuli's hand. Books that she wrote that have locations of other teleportation runes scattered around. She seems to have a way of tapping into the standing circles of The Sugar-Plum Fairy. You see some writings of Lazuli about The Sugar-Plum Fairy that immediately strike you as a warning. You see that there is stuff about The Sugar-Plum Fairy that seems to indicate that your aunt did not trust or revere this greatest spirit of the Sweetening Path. With a 21 Nature check you find something where the symbol is a little sort of runic ice cream cone that matches the figure you see on the map in front of Saccharina. The ice cream cone has- You open the book and it is a book of lost beast lore. Like, it's an ancient Candian bestiary. You know, you've lived in a world with so little magic in it and just people, like you seeing The Sugar-Plum Fairy with Jet outside of the castle was sort of the first magical thing you've seen. And every time there's a rumor of something cool or awesome like an ogre or something like that, it's never really proven or if it is something it's like, you know, there's so many times where it's a lie or a hoax. You see Candian unicorns and gumdrop spirits and fairies and stuff, and you come to a page and immediately are hit with the smell of cinnamon off the page as though cinnamon was used in the ink. And you see a roiling mass. It is a rune that means this ancient spirit, something that you see is like a binding of something being locked away. The margins of this book are all written with Sugar-Plum Fairy runes and you see there's a lot of stuff about The Sugar-Plum Fairy in here, but this on one of the last pages, you just see the words binding encircling the runes, dracoria azucar.

2:01:23 Siobhan: It's a sugar dragon?

2:01:23 Zac: Sugar dragon?

2:01:26 Brennan: You see that Gooey sort of looks at you and says,

2:01:33 Gooey: Her Majesty Queen Saccharina has been hard at work preserving the magics here in the Great Stone Candy Mountains. Your arrival is fortuitous as some of our efforts have been less than successful up to this point.

2:01:54 Brennan: And she steps back behind Saccharina.

2:02:00 Saccharina: As I said before, I think that Lazuli had, she discovered more in her laboratories than we currently have access to. (sighs softly) This may sound like a lot, and I'm sorry if I'm unpacking too much, but there is a presence in Candia who has worked to suppress much of Lazuli's power. She's taken many of the exciting relics and findings and entombed them in a frozen temple, the Ice Cream Temple. And we were on our way to excavate it. So...

2:03:01 Theobald: Were you-

2:03:03 Cumulous: You were on your way before we got here?

2:03:04 Ruby: Who is it?

2:03:06 Saccharina: Well, who-

2:03:08 Liam: The Pontifex?

2:03:08 Saccharina: No.

2:03:11 Liam: Is it the carrot guy?

2:03:11 Saccharina: Keradin? No.

2:03:12 Liam: Fuck that guy!

2:03:12 Saccharina: But he came to the nunnery when I was young.

2:03:14 Liam: No!

2:03:17 Saccharina: It's The Sugar-Plum Fairy. I know that she seems like an innocent, folksy deity, and I don't entirely understand her intentions but her belief is that magic is possibly too powerful or maybe she thinks it's finite. I don't know what her reasonings are, but she has sort of...

2:03:41 Ruby: She gave magic to...

2:03:44 Saccharina: Well yes, I believe that she has hidden it so that she can mete it out like a child's allowance.

2:03:49 Zac: Can I ask you a question?

2:03:49 Brennan: Yeah.

2:03:51 Zac: I forget who I was when I saw The Sugar-Plum Fairy and they seemed smaller than they were.

2:03:57 Brennan: I think you were Lapin.

2:03:57 Zac: Okay.

2:04:00 Brennan: I could be wrong about that, but I think you were Lapin.

2:04:00 Siobhan: I saw The Sugar-Plum Fairy and she seemed smaller.

2:04:03 Brennan: She seemed smaller, that's true. You remember The Sugar-Plum Fairy when you went to her standing stones in the grove near Castle Candy and asked for her to bring Jet back. You remember her telling you to come North, and that she couldn't bring Jet to you, but she could bring you to Jet.

2:04:24 Amethar: So what, kill her?

2:04:28 Saccharina: Oh, no, I wanna loot that awesome ice cream temple. That's what I wanna do.

2:04:33 Amethar: Does it involve killing her?

2:04:36 Saccharina: Ideally not.

2:04:36 Ruby: Is she there?

2:04:40 Saccharina: I don't know where she is. Gooey, do we know where she is?

2:04:43 Gooey: Your Majesty, The Sugar-Plum Fairy moves throughout Candia of her own accord, but we know that the Ice Cream Temple is at least a place under her dominion. She may not be there now, but any arcane activity there would certainly alert her.

2:04:59 Saccharina: Yes, it's likely she would-

2:05:01 Theobald: Are people guarding it or?

2:05:01 Saccharina: She may have alarms set on it or whatnot.

2:05:05 Cumulous: You have not been there yet.

2:05:08 Emily: Have we been there yet?

2:05:09 Brennan: You've sent some people there and they have not come back.

2:05:13 Saccharina: I have sent some of my friends and they have not returned.

2:05:21 Amethar: (laughs incredulously) Okay.

2:05:23 Saccharina: But, you know, I think that just means that I need to go. And honestly, I have... (clears throat)

2:05:35 Emily: I say this low enough so no one else can hear. Oh wait, no one else is in here, right? It's just like Gooey?

2:05:38 Brennan: It's just Gooey and you.

2:05:39 Emily: Okay.

2:05:39 Brennan: Yeah.

2:05:40 Saccharina: And I have very loyal followers. You know, I don't deserve them, all that, but a lot of them are just angry orphans that I freed from various nunneries and so.

2:05:53 Liam: Cool.

2:05:53 Saccharina: There's a lack of martial prowess from them. You met Swifty and Bon Jon, or is it Jon Bon? I don't remember.

2:06:01 Amethar: Jon Bon Bon Jon.

2:06:03 Saccharina: Jon Bon, right, I always mess that one.

2:06:04 Theobald: It's both.

2:06:04 Saccharina: It's both, okay.

2:06:06 Cumulous: Oh.

2:06:06 Amethar: You can't be wrong, I guess.

2:06:09 Saccharina: Basically I don't have much amongst my ranks as powerful as some of you.

2:06:17 Amethar: So we loot this temple, get this stuff, it helps Candia?

2:06:24 Saccharina: That's my thought. I'll be plain, my intention is to bring a lot more magic into this world.

2:06:31 Amethar: Great.

2:06:33 Saccharina: So I know, I know, looting is a bad thing. And yes, okay fine, in this mountain we loot a lot, okay? We're into looting.

2:06:39 Brennan: You hear a big cheer go up. “Yay”, from other tables.

2:06:42 Saccharina: We loot, okay?

2:06:44 Ally: I couldn't help it and I just went,

2:06:44 Liam: Yay!

2:06:46 Theobald: They love the stuff.

2:06:47 Saccharina: I know that that may make me look like some kind of villain, but you know, we are bringing magic to more people than had it before. And so that's why we do what we do.

2:06:58 Theobald: Well, I will follow you to the temple.

2:07:02 Ruby: I hate that I agree with her on magic.

2:07:04 Cumulous: For the magic of Candia.

2:07:04 Liam: Let's do it.

2:07:06 Ruby: But I'll go just to see if...

2:07:10 Brennan: You hear a twinkling voice on the wind, Ruby. And a voice says to you,

2:07:12 Sugar-Plum Fairy: Things that are wrong may yet be made right. (wind howling) There is more than one true magician in Candia, Princess, and I await your coming and will be delighted for your wish to come true.

2:07:31 Brennan: (mimics wind howling) You guys sleep there that night.

2:07:45 Saccharina: Is the sleeping bag comfortable?

2:07:47 Zac: I'm just propped up from the ground in a sleeping bag.

2:07:52 Theobald: You need to sleep, Cumulous. You can't just, I feel like you should maybe-

2:07:56 Saccharina: I know.

2:07:56 Zac: I'm holding two artifacts next to me.

2:07:57 Theobald: He's just gonna look at the artifacts.

2:07:58 Saccharina: It is like setting a toddler up to take a nap in front of a TV.

2:08:02 Theobald: Yeah.

2:08:02 Cumulous: I'm not tired.

2:08:04 Brennan: Caramelinda is going to remain here with the marauders, which she's not psyched about.

2:08:11 Murph: Okay.

2:08:11 Saccharina: I promise we only loot. She's safe! [faintly] She might get pickpocketed.

2:08:19 Caramelinda: It's all right, I don't have any wealth with me.

2:08:22 Amethar: Oh, if anyone pickpockets my wife, I'll kill you.

2:08:28 Brennan: And you see that one of the marauders looks up and says,

2:08:31 Marauder: How would we pickpocket Catherine Ghee? We've got no idea where she is.

2:08:35 Saccharina: Okay, okay, that's enough.

2:08:35 Marauder: What?

2:08:35 Amethar: Oh. Okay, okay. [mimics fighting]

2:08:38 Marauder: No, I'm just trying to understand. (group clamoring) (blows landing)

2:08:41 Brennan: Bam, bam bam.

2:08:41 Lou: Pow, pow. (group shouting and screaming)

2:08:47 Brennan: You see... (laughs)

2:08:49 Zac: I'm still just-

2:08:49 Brennan: Firing arrows into the air.

2:08:51 Zac: Still in a sleeping bag.

2:08:54 Lou: Yeah, can I pick up the sleeping bag and throw? (Brennan mimics reverberations)

2:08:58 Murph: I put him against the sleeping bag.

2:08:59 Emily: Yeah, yeah!

2:09:02 Brennan: The marauders seem really happy to have a big fight. But you guys, Manta Ray asks if he should come with you guys. He says,

2:09:09 Manta Ray: Is this the sort of thing, you know, is this like Candian business that we shouldn't come on? Or should we come along?

2:09:15 Theobald: Should Manta Ray stay with Queen Caramelinda?

2:09:17 Amethar: Yeah.

2:09:17 Emily: Can I do an Insight check on Manta Ray?

2:09:19 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

2:09:20 Ally: Hmm...

2:09:23 Zac: It sounded like you rolled a d4.

2:09:24 Lou: I agree.

2:09:24 Emily: I got a 4. No, I'm kidding, I got a 23.

2:09:31 Brennan: 23, cool, he seems friendly with Amethar, and he looks at you a little bashfully.

2:09:38 Emily: Is he, like, flirting with me?

2:09:41 Zac: Kiss him.

2:09:41 Brennan: You see he-

2:09:42 Saccharina: I'm sorry, I just can't have romantic entanglements on this journey, maybe you can stay.

2:09:48 Manta Ray: Right, no, me too, I'm trying, well, all this is going crazy. I'm trying to keep it on the level as well.

2:09:54 Liam: Yeah, I would prefer no romantic entanglements either.

2:09:57 Murph: I could cut the sexual tension with a knife here. I wanna say it as soon as he walked in.

2:10:01 Brennan: Manta Ray says,

2:10:01 Manta Ray: Anyway, I'm old enough, you know, I was at your parents' wedding. Your mother was a lovely woman, by the way. Catherine was a delightful, delightful.

2:10:08 Saccharina: We share very different experiences of her.

2:10:12 Manta Ray: Ah, I've stepped in it.

2:10:15 Amethar: Manta Ray, why don't you stay and we'll-

2:10:17 Manta Ray: I'm gonna stay.

2:10:18 Amethar: Can we take your guards though? Or your envoy, the people who came with you?

2:10:23 Manta Ray: You can if you wish, you wanna take some guards, yeah.

2:10:25 Amethar: Yeah, we'll take the guys, you stay with my wife.

2:10:28 Brennan: He nods, he says,

2:10:28 Manta Ray: Yeah, for sure.

2:10:32 Brennan: Awesome, you guys head deep into the Great Stone Candy Mountains.

2:10:40 Zac: Did we ever ask about the Jawbreaker situation?

2:10:42 Murph: Oh yeah,

2:10:42 Theobald: Saccharina, what was with the little ice cream thing on the Jawbreaker Castle?

2:10:49 Saccharina: Yes, Jawbreaker is not- Jawbreaker has been feeling us out. I sort of came here hearing reputation of Jawbreaker and his many wives and husbands as being sort of a sexual paradise, but they have been less hospitable. And we are sort of engaged in a bit of a pissing contest.

2:11:24 Liam: Oh no, my dad's really good at pissing and shitting. (Murph groans) (Emily laughs)

2:11:28 Amethar: Damn right, he is.

2:11:28 Theobald: What?

2:11:30 Amethar: Guy pisses like a race—

2:11:30 Theobald: Why do you all talk about this all the time?

2:11:32 Amethar: I’m gonna tell you about this guy's stream, okay? I mean, my man, if he's been drinking and he starts pissing, I mean, we're talking 15, 20 feet. It's like, he arcs it.

2:11:42 Manta Ray: It's also consistent.

2:11:45 Amethar: It's great, yeah.

2:11:45 Manta Ray: It's like even.

2:11:46 Amethar: All the way through. [makes a piss noise]

2:11:46 Manta Ray: All the way through. It's like, it starts and then it's going and then we're done.

2:11:50 Amethar: It's like a hard stop. There's no dribble.

2:11:52 Theobald: I just want to say, kids, now that we're in war you know you can just walk a little further away and go to the bathroom by yourself, that's fine. You don't have to-

2:11:59 Manta Ray: Yeah get a load of this guy. I bet you love to go to the bathroom by yourself.

2:12:02 Amethar: Oh, yeah.

2:12:02 Manta Ray: I bet you love to go to the bathroom by yourself.

2:12:04 Liam: It's all that milk and cream.

2:12:04 Amethar: Going to the bathroom by himself.

2:12:06 Liam: All the milk and cream is coming out right now.

2:12:09 Theobald: Liam, we are in a cave!

2:12:09 Liam: Someone help me up. Someone help me up.

2:12:14 Cumulous: I got you.

2:12:14 Liam: All right.

2:12:15 Theobald: Cumulous, get away from him.

2:12:19 Brennan: You see that Gooey looks over at you. Gooey, actually, as you guys are getting ready to go Gooey talks to only Saccharina and is going to make sure that no one else is around. You see that she actually talks to you, Saccharina, privately as you guys are getting ready to go to the Ice Cream Temple and says,

2:12:37 Gooey: Um, Your Majesty, I apologize for moving Jawbreaker's banner.

2:12:44 Saccharina: Oh?

2:12:45 Gooey: He has left Castle Manylicks. The people sieging his castle were beginning to torture and burn the villages in the area and attempt to draw him out.

2:12:56 Saccharina: Our people?

2:12:56 Gooey: No, the Ceresians. And they were doing it to goad Jawbreaker, and he took the bait. He fled the castle, mustered troops out of the countryside to draw the armies away and now he's been pinned down and surrounded in the mountains.

2:13:16 Saccharina: I thought you just put it there as like a metaphor, like, “we're gonna win”.

2:13:20 Gooey: No, no, it wasn't a way to hype us up. It was actually a troop movement.

2:13:24 Saccharina: Okay.

2:13:24 Gooey: He's left Castle Many- but I don't want to, he's pinned down in the mountains right now away from Castle Manylicks, but on the eve of you being able to seize that Ice Cream Temple I didn't want to say it in front of everybody else.

2:13:41 Saccharina: Well, if we came in and saved Jawbreaker that would be, well, perhaps finally he would entertain my claim to the throne.

2:13:53 Gooey: That's true.

2:13:59 Saccharina: The Ice Cream Temple is very frozen in where it is. I don't fret about it moving somewhere else.

2:14:09 Brennan: You see that she nods and says,

2:14:12 Gooey: That's very true, Your Majesty. It's completely understandable        that you would want to move to help Duke Jawbreaker. I will follow your orders, whatever it is you wish. If you wish to take the House of Rocks to the Ice Cream Temple to face whatever lurks there I will follow your lead.

2:14:37 Saccharina: Gooey, am I being sentimental by thinking it might be a nice gesture to take the House Rocks and go save Jawbreaker and hopefully end the invasion of Candia? Right now I need you to be honest with me.

2:15:01 Brennan: You see that Swifty walks up-

2:15:03 Zac: No, no, no.

2:15:03 Brennan: And you see that-

2:15:05 Saccharina: Oh God, maybe you could whisper in Gooey's ear, I just...

2:15:09 Swifty: You got it!

2:15:09 Saccharina: Love your counsel.

2:15:11 Swifty: You got it!

2:15:11 Amethar: Oh, ow, ow, ow.

2:15:13 Theobald: What is anybody talking, I can't hear anything.

2:15:14 Ruby: I can hear it from my bedroom.

2:15:16 Brennan: You see that Gooey says,

2:15:16 Gooey: Obvious-

2:15:22 Saccharina: My judgment is, I'm aware that perhaps my judgment is not as clear and concise as it usually is what with these heightened emotional times being as my father is here and I am mostly human so, or rather, milk and candy.

2:15:46 Brennan: You see-

2:15:46 Saccharina: I'm an ice cream sundae.

2:15:49 Brennan: Gooey looks at you and says,

2:15:49 Gooey: (sighs softly) My counsel to you, Your Majesty, would be if you were to save Duke Jawbreaker, as you mentioned that is more time-sensitive, if you were to rescue him then perhaps he would be more amenable to recognizing your claim.

2:16:16 Brennan: You see that Swifty looks up and says,

2:16:19 Swifty: On the other hand, I'll just point out if he was fuckin' dead then his little kid would be able to recognize your claim just fine and you'd have some real nice magic items to go with it. (laughing creepily)

2:16:37 Saccharina: (sighs) Okay, all right. Put out the pastries, let's have ourselves a war council. I need to run this by other people.

2:16:50 Brennan: The next dawn a war council is called and Saccharina invites you all to the...

2:16:58 Saccharina: Now, I don't know, maybe I've said this before, but I very much so appreciate transparency in my politics so I'm trying to extend that to all of you. There was-

2:17:08 Liam: I farted.

2:17:10 Theobald: Liam, don't-

2:17:10 Liam: It was just all the milk. It was fermented milk.

2:17:11 Theobald: Liam, you're a duke, you're a count.

2:17:14 Cumulous: Liam, you fully shit on the ground just now, I held your hands.

2:17:17 Amethar: Yeah, don't you remember, he like held you.

2:17:19 Liam: Yeah, that felt- What?

2:17:19 Cumulous: You did much more than fart.

2:17:23 Liam: (sighs) I just wanted to be honest, okay? Yeah, in the name of transparency.

2:17:27 Saccharina: I appreciate it.

2:17:27 Theobald: Saccharina, what's going on?

2:17:29 Saccharina: Well, previously I didn't, there's some information that's been brought to light since we last met and I have decided that I trust you all enough to ask of your needs. (lively instrumental music)

2:17:46 Saccharina: The reason that Jawbreaker's estate is retreated into the mountains is because-

2:17:52 Amethar: It was a metaphor right, 'cause we're winning.

2:17:54 Saccharina: That's exactly what I thought.

2:17:55 Amethar: Yeah, I mean, that's why you did it, right, Gooey?

2:17:57 Saccharina: That is also what I thought, that's so funny, the same brain, same brain.

2:17:58 Amethar: You moved it 'cause it's a metaphor.

2:17:59 Gooey: I'm not that kind of person, I guess?

2:18:03 Amethar: When you move a thing and you don't say anything it's a metaphor for “oorah, let's go!”

2:18:06 Saccharina: Yes, yes, exactly. I love metaphorical maps in my governance.

2:18:10 Cumulous: In my mind, a metaphor in a map was just more about the scale than it is about the feelings.

2:18:18 Saccharina: That's, so basically it wasn't a metaphor.

2:18:24 Amethar: I'm sorry?

2:18:24 Saccharina: Jawbreaker has been scared out of Castle Manylicks.

2:18:30 Liam: No way, no, he doesn't get scared.

2:18:31 Amethar: What, what? No.

2:18:31 Saccharina: The invading forces, because the Concord is at war with Jawbreaker and Jawbreaker is currently the head of Candia they've gone after him so I figured I would put it on the table that we could go to the Ice Cream Temple another day.

2:18:53 Liam: We have to go.

2:18:53 Amethar: We have to go now.

2:18:54 Saccharina: Okay, I...

2:18:54 Theobald: We have to go to your brother?

2:18:57 Amethar: Yeah, to Jawbreaker.

2:19:00 Brennan: Or your uncle, yeah.

2:19:00 Amethar: Uncle, my uncle.

2:19:01 Theobald: We gotta go to your uncle, yeah.

2:19:02 Saccharina: Okay.

2:19:02 Amethar: I don't have a brother.

2:19:05 Saccharina: I would like to reiterate that if Jawbreaker were to acknowledge me as Queen then I believe we could make the invasion of Candia stop at least for a time.

2:19:17 Theobald: All right, well, that sounds like our best.

2:19:20 Amethar: Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day these are your people, Your Majesty.

2:19:25 Liam: Totally.

2:19:27 Saccharina: Again, please don't call me Your Majesty.

2:19:29 Liam: Can I talk to just Amethar?

2:19:30 Ruby: Please don't call her Her Majesty.

2:19:31 Brennan: What's that?

2:19:31 Ally: Can I just talk to Amethar?

2:19:34 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

2:19:34 Ally: And I go to the side.

2:19:35 Lou: Yeah.

2:19:36 Liam: He's not gonna...

2:19:39 Amethar: What?

2:19:39 Liam: My dad, my dad, or at least my brothers, they're all really hellbent on him being the king, I don't...

2:19:47 Amethar: I know, hey—

2:19:48 Liam: We need to go help him, for sure, but.

2:19:50 Amethar: We have to.

2:19:50 Liam: But I really don't think he's ever gonna give up the seat.

2:19:53 Amethar: Here's the thing, I mean, if he's not at Manylicks he's in a bad fucking spot.

2:19:57 Liam: Yeah.

2:19:59 Amethar: He's acting like a real dumbass. And if he's acting like a dumbass I feel like he's weak right now. We need to protect him.

2:20:05 Liam: Yeah.

2:20:07 Amethar: Because he's family, but then we'll make him see right.

2:20:11 Cumulous: How long do we think he could-

2:20:12 Liam: What, Cumulous?

2:20:15 Cumulous: You came over to where I was laying down on the ground in a sleeping bag.

2:20:18 Amethar: I'm sorry, I forgot you hadn't got out.

2:20:19 Liam: I thought that was something else.

2:20:21 Amethar: I forgot you helped him shit then got back in the bag and were holding your artifacts again.

2:20:24 Liam: Wow!

2:20:26 Amethar: What did you say?

2:20:26 Liam: Wow.

2:20:28 Cumulous: How long do we think he can survive a siege outside of the castle?

2:20:31 Amethar: I mean, if he's out of the castle, he's fucked.

2:20:35 Liam: He's pretty scrappy.

2:20:37 Brennan: Gooey speaks up and says,

2:20:37 Gooey: The Duke Jawbreaker took forces deep into the mountains to lure the forces of Ceresia away because they were torturing and murdering and setting fire to the villages around Manylicks.

2:20:54 Amethar: What?

2:20:54 Liam: What?

2:20:56 Amethar: We gotta go.

2:20:56 Liam: We have to go now! We have to go tonight! So today?

2:21:00 Saccharina: I'm prepared.

2:21:01 Ruby: Us and what army?

2:21:01 Amethar: Doesn't matter.

2:21:04 Ruby: Yes!

2:21:04 Amethar: Yes?! Well, no, all right.

2:21:08 Ruby: How are we gonna defeat an army?

2:21:09 Amethar: It doesn't fucking matter.

2:21:09 Liam: Yeah, we gotta go.

2:21:11 Amethar: If your family's in trouble, you're there, all right? I would rather fucking die next to him then fucking live here.

2:21:17 Liam: Mm-hmm, I'm a war guy now so yeah, pretty much the same.

2:21:24 Saccharina: I'm also really used to fighting sort of like at bad odds.

2:21:29 Brennan: Caramelinda speaks up and says and you see that she has clearly not slept and has a stack of Lazuli's books. And you see that a hand delicately rests on Lazuli's books, and she makes eye contact with you, Theo, touching the books as she does. She speaks up and says,

2:21:45 Caramelinda: The armies of Ceresia surround the valley there in the Great Stone Candy Mountains where Jawbreaker finds himself. And if this is a majority of your forces right here which it seems that it is judging by the figures on the table, we won't be able to make it there in time or break through the Ceresian forces by the time we arrive there. However, if this is true and I can get some help from Cumulous-

2:22:15 Brennan: She opens a book that has those teleportation runes that your old room used. She says,

2:22:22 Caramelinda: We're not far, I believe, from the Order if these maps are to be believed. If we get to the room at the Order of the Spinning Star I think I can get us to that valley in its circle of standing stones.

2:22:42 Saccharina: Wow, this is a really intelligent party. You guys are really good.

2:22:47 Liam: I've always wondered, did you and Lazuli have like a thing?

2:22:49 Caramelinda: Yeah, we were married.

2:22:52 Liam: Oh my God!

2:22:52 Cumulous: This was open knowledge.

2:22:54 Liam: You know, no one in the family talks. My dad, sex, sex, sex all the time. That's all he talks about, love? Never heard of it.

2:23:02 Saccharina: I had a commemorative mug of your wedding in the nunnery.

2:23:06 Caramelinda: Oh, Lazuli and I's wedding?

2:23:08 Saccharina: Yeah.

2:23:08 Caramelinda: Yeah, we had those nice mugs made, I liked them.

2:23:09 Liam: Was it love with sex?

2:23:14 Caramelinda: Yeah.

2:23:14 Liam: Oh, okay.

2:23:17 Caramelinda: Hey, my life's shattered.

2:23:20 Brennan: She says,

2:23:20 Caramelinda: So I can get us there and I think I can get us back, but there's not another teleportation rune in the valley. It's just a circle of standing stones which means that I will have to hold on to the return trip with my mind, does that make sense?

2:23:45 Liam: Yeah.

2:23:45 Cumulous: From here.

2:23:47 Caramelinda: I can get us there from the room. To get us and to try to extract Jawbreaker who's only taken a small fraction of his men, he was leading them on a rabbit chase. He just wanted to draw the forces away from the Castle Manylicks. If we're just trying to extract him and as many of his men as we can, I can do that. When we get there we will have a very limited amount of time.

2:24:09 Liam: Okay.

2:24:11 Cumulous: We're just getting Jawbreaker and getting out, is that the plan?

2:24:15 Caramelinda: Is there another goal that we-

2:24:16 Liam: I mean, if I see the carrot I gotta shred it. I gotta shred it and I gotta bake it.

2:24:23 Brennan: She says-

2:24:23 Ruby: Baked shredded carrot?

2:24:25 Saccharina: Put a little cinnamon on that?

2:24:27 Brennan: She says—

2:24:27 Ruby: Stop sucking up to him!

2:24:29 Brennan: She says,

2:24:29 Caramelinda: You can shred the carrot.

2:24:30 Saccharina: It isn't sucking up to him, it sounds like that would be delicious.

2:24:30 Caramelinda: That's completely fine.

2:24:32 Saccharina: I said that would be delicious.

2:24:33 Caramelinda: I will not be able to hold on to our teleportation for all that long. So anything you wanna do there is going to have to happen pretty fast.

2:24:44 Liam: Okay.

2:24:45 Ruby: And then we go to where the Sugar-Plum Fairy is?

2:24:49 Caramelinda: And then we go to where the Sugar-Plum Fairy is.

2:24:51 Saccharina: I would feel wonderful about going to the Ice Cream Temple with Jawbone and Spearia.

2:24:57 Cumulous: Jawbone?

2:24:57 Theobald: Jawbreaker? (group members chuckling)

2:24:59 Saccharina: Did I say, "Jawbone"? I'm sorry.

2:25:03 Cumulous: Who is Jawbone?

2:25:04 Saccharina: It was a lover I took in Carn.

2:25:09 Amethar: Oh, this is a lot to hear.

2:25:11 Brennan: [to the camera] We do a lot of these. We do a lot of these. (Lou groans)

2:25:18 Saccharina: I would feel, it would feel very powerful to go to the Ice Cream Temple with Jawbreaker and Spearia.

2:25:28 Theobald: Should- Get going.

2:25:28 Liam: Let's do it. (claps)

2:25:32 Brennan: You guys head out from Saccharina's caverns to a path that Cumulous knows up to the heights above the cotton candy clouds, the Order of the Spinning Star. A white, pure sugar gleaming monastery with symbols of the Archmage Lazuli. Ruby, you look and see the crisp lines of your shadow in the high, thin air walk alongside you. You feel this place, Saccharina, you've visited this place before since you've stationed yourself in the mountains. And with Cumulous here, the old place begins to come to life. You arrive here and Cumulous, you see fellow monks begin to walk out. You see that one of the monks comes to you, Snickersnack. You see that Snickersnack walks up who's a little like-

2:26:31 Saccharina: My armies.

2:26:31 Brennan: As a little, like, wafer, like a sort of like crunchy wafer chocolate monk.

2:26:36 Cumulous: Snickersnack. [offers a hand]

2:26:36 Brennan: He comes around he goes, (hands slapping) you see he shakes your, does the hero's handshake and goes,

2:26:43 Snickersnack: Cumulous, you have brought the royals here. Who now walks in the Monastery of the Spinning Star?

2:26:55 Cumulous: We have the rightful Queen of Candia, Saccharina.

2:27:00 Brennan: The monks take the knee.

2:27:02 Saccharina: Um, I prefer lawful because I don't really know that any queen or king is really rightful.

2:27:09 Snickersnack: Wow, wow, wow, wow.

2:27:13 Brennan: Snickersnack just kind of keeps pointing at you, like smiling like.

2:27:14 Cumulous: Pretty cool.

2:27:16 Theobald: She just knows just what to say.

2:27:18 Cumulous: We need get to-

2:27:19 Ruby: [flatly] Yeah, she knows just what to say.

2:27:21 Theobald: Ruby, you didn't want anything to do with the throne.

2:27:24 Cumulous: We need to get to the teleportation runes.

2:27:27 Brennan: He says,

2:27:27 Snickersnack: Very well.

2:27:29 Brennan: As you walk you begin to see that the runes begin to come to life kind of as Saccharina approaches.

2:27:35 Ally: Is it just like a room with a whole bunch of rune portals like Crash Bandicoot? (laughing)

2:27:39 Brennan: No, it's-

2:27:41 Lou: How Crash Bandicoot we talking?

2:27:42 Siobhan: Yeah.

2:27:42 Brennan: Extremely Crash Bandicoot.

2:27:44 Ally: Okay, cool, cool, cool.

2:27:44 Siobhan: If we have Mario 64 we're talking. (Ally vocalizing video game music)

2:27:47 Brennan: It's a room with kind of almost like a two-dimensional orrery, if that makes sense. Like, geometric astronomical orbits and shifting platforms in the floor that spin and gyrate and move in different concentric circles.

2:28:00 Ally: Cool.

2:28:00 Brennan: As you stand in the middle Caramelinda is going to begin to move. The stars alight overhead, night falls. It is now deep, dark night in the high mountains. The runes begin to move as Caramelinda begins to touch them and you hear her whisper under her voice,

2:28:24 Caramelinda: Lazuli, please help me get this right. (mimics gears turning) (stone scrapes stone)

2:28:29 Brennan: Moves the runes around. You guys, do you guys do anything before she finishes?

2:28:35 Murph: I wanna give her...

2:28:38 Emily: Like a help action?

2:28:39 Murph: I want to attempt to help her, yeah, I'll give the help action.

2:28:40 Brennan: Cool.

2:28:41 Emily: Yeah.

2:28:41 Brennan: Awesome.

2:28:42 Ruby: Honestly, I can't believe you've been able to do magic this whole time.

2:28:46 Cumulous: Do we have any live animals?

2:28:51 Saccharina: There was a sprinkle that ran by here.

2:28:54 Theobald: My Sprinkle come up? Sprinkle's here?

2:28:55 Liam: In a fit of terror.

2:28:55 Theobald: Sprinkle would.

2:28:57 Cumulous: Do you think there's any, like, little caramel chickens or anything?

2:29:02 Brennan: Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

2:29:03 Zac: I take one and I just snap its neck.

2:29:04 Theobald: Oh, no!

2:29:04 Ruby: Oh my God.

2:29:06 Zac: For temp HP.

2:29:06 Brennan: For temp HP, great. You suck the fucking life out of this caramel chicken.

2:29:12 Amethar: Fucking fuck!

2:29:12 Liam: Um, um, okay.

2:29:15 Amethar: Oh, this is war again.

2:29:17 Lou: I take my full Payment Day, yeah, I fucking take my sword out.

2:29:21 Brennan: Awesome.

2:29:22 Emily: I think my hair is just like blowing with wind of the excitement of all this magic.

2:29:27 Brennan: (mimics wind blowing) Hair's blowing. (mimics reverberations) The stairwells move. Caramelinda is fully concentrating on this spell. You guys (mimics explosion resounding) in a blast of sweet-smelling light (mimics wind howling) appear in a circle of stones inside a dark, locked, musty building and hear the shouting of Ceresian soldiers outside. And that's all for this week on "A Crown of Candy." We'll roll initiative and see you guys next week. [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 12: Rescue at Buzzybrook] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20] (stirring instrumental music)

2:30:00 Brennan: Marching out from the commander's tent in chains, Duke Joren Jawbreaker.

2:30:04 Ally: (gasps) Oh my God.

2:30:06 Brennan: Is led to the noose.

2:30:07 Hangman: Hereby sentence you to death. (grunts) (screaming)

2:30:10 Lou: Fuck you!

2:30:12 Saccharina: Watch your banner burn, bitch. (screaming)

2:30:14 Amethar: But you just met my new daughter. Not new, old, but I just found out about. (shouts) (grunts) (growling) (screeching)

2:30:26 Ally: No way! (cast shout and laugh)

2:30:29 Emily: Whoa! Transcribed by Kyber Bonsai, Tillie the Paladin Edited by Kyber Bonsai, Tillie the Paladin, and gluegunshots