For Candia! (Part 2)

0:00:19 Brennan: Welcome one and all to the final, final episode of A Crown of Candy. I am your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me as always are our intrepid heroes, say hi, intrepid heroes!

0:00:28 Players: Hi, intrepid heroes!

0:00:28 Brennan: Jumping right back into the initiative, Liam, you've just wasted Plumbeline Uvano, the shadows wrap around you, ice mists off your crossbow. Theo, that is your turn.

0:00:40 Murph: Sweet. Can Liam's archers still shoot?

0:00:40 Brennan: Yes, they can still move on Liam's initiative. That's correct.

0:00:44 Ally: Love it, cool!

0:00:48 Brennan: So if you wanna take an attack on your archers, go for it.

0:00:49 Ally: Yeah, I would like my archers to attack this other-

0:00:52 Brennan: Cavalry?

0:00:54 Ally: Yeah, 'cause maybe Theo could hop on there.

0:00:54 Murph: Oh, maybe should grab two, yeah.

0:00:54 Brennan: Hell yeah, have them go ahead and make an attack. So they don't have advantage, they're just a regular attack.

0:01:02 Ally: Okay. Oh, ah, hell yeah! Okay, cool, 18.

0:01:08 Brennan: That is a hit. They suffer a casualty.

0:01:11 Ally: So they're down to- Three maybe?

0:01:11 Zac: Three maybe?

0:01:15 Ally: Were they already hit?

0:01:15 Brennan: These guys were not already hit.

0:01:17 Ally: Okay, cool.

0:01:20 Brennan: Firing on the cavalry, but again, that's 25% of their number of this cavalry unit. Vegetanian knights rear back in their chariots. That's going to be Theo, and your unit.

0:01:29 Murph: Sweet. I think I am going to… Okay, first my- My guys and me, I guess, will attack the… Is there really any point in me attacking with my unit? Because-

0:01:45 Zac: You give 'em shield when you can, but that's not something-

0:01:50 Murph: That's true, okay.

0:01:50 Brennan: And you can always use, like, if you want, if you're not doing your own thing, you can use your action to give your unit advantage. So like, if you don’t- If you're not casting a healing spell, you're not flying into a rage, you're not doing whatever else, if you're just like, “I'm walking with them, I'm fighting with them”, they roll with advantage.

0:02:07 Murph: Okay, sweet. Then I will, I think as my action I'll grant my guys advantage on the cavalry.

0:02:13 Brennan: Awesome, go for it.

0:02:23 Murph: How much do they get to add to attack?

0:02:25 Brennan: These guys get to add-

0:02:25 Murph: Was it plus 4?

0:02:25 Siobhan: Yeah, I think it was plus 4.

0:02:25 Brennan: I believe it was plus 4, yes.

0:02:28 Murph: Okay, they got a 16.

0:02:32 Brennan: 16 on the cavalry is not gonna hit.

0:02:32 Murph: Okay. I am going to then… Can I bonus action Second Wind?

0:02:44 Brennan: Yes you can.

0:02:44 Murph: Sweet, I'm gonna go ahead and do that real quick. Nice, that's 18 hit points back. And then I'm going to… I think I'm gonna tell my knights to defend the archers, and I'll lead the way, I'll send you messages, I just like pick one- Somebody that looks really responsible.

0:03:06 Brennan: Great. You see that there's a lime gummy bear who goes,

0:03:10 Lime Gummy Knight: [garbled] Gotcha! Pip-pip!

0:03:14 Theo: Limey, you are so responsible.

0:03:14 Lime Gummy Knight: Right-O!

0:03:14 Brennan: You see that he says,

0:03:18 Lime Gummy Knight: For North-Gumbia!

0:03:21 Theo: Love your style.

0:03:21 Murph: And then I'm gonna jump in the carriage with Liam.

0:03:28 Brennan: You jump in the empty chariot with Liam.

0:03:29 Emily: Yeah, buddy.

0:03:30 Brennan: Rad as hell.

0:03:30 Emily: Do you shout road trip? [laughing]

0:03:30 Theobald: Road trip!

0:03:30 Liam: What?

0:03:30 Brennan: And that mount has fresh movement, because it went last round, so if you and Liam wanna jump on the same mount, you have its full round of movement, if you want.

0:03:45 Murph: Mhh. We probably don't want to get much closer, but maybe we wanna get-

0:03:49 Zac: You can get out of the way, probably.

0:03:50 Murph: Yeah, we can get ourselves out of the way, although I don't wanna leave my dudes totally hangin'. Maybe we wanna… Do we have enough movement to like, [indicates a quick turn on the map] yoink?

0:04:00 Brennan: Ooh, I think you actually might, hold on one second.

0:04:03 Lou: Can they yoink, dude?

0:04:06 Murph: Can we yoink? How hard can we yoink?

0:04:07 Emily: Can we yoink?

0:04:08 Zac: I'm just tryina yoink, dude.

0:04:09 Lou: Let my boys yoink, dude.

0:04:10 Murph: I just wanna know if we can yoink.

0:04:11 Lou: Come on, there's a little downhill on that.

0:04:15 Brennan: 60 is- That's like five… I mean, you have, yeah, 100%.

0:04:18 Ally: You flank.

0:04:20 Murph: Yeah, we'd like to get back here, as far- Kind of as far back, almost kinda hopin' like Cumulous just being like,

0:04:26 Theo: [laughs] Where's Cumulous?

0:04:26 Brennan: [laughs] Yeah, from here, you guys can make it all the way to here, or you can- If you wanna hug them-

0:04:33 Murph: Yeah, I'd like to hug them, 'cause I don't want these guys to like get instant attacks on us.

0:04:38 Brennan: Cool. Absolutely. Awesome, that's your movement. You are flanking. These guys are going to continue to go across the courtyard. Those guys are going to f- Actually, they're gonna fire on you guys, I'm afraid.

0:04:50 Murph: Okay. Do we get any kind of cover or anything 'cause of our carriage?

0:04:56 Brennan: Yeah, you get a plus 2 to your AC.

0:04:58 Murph: Oh, sweet.

0:04:58 Brennan: Hold on a second. But you guys are not a unit, you're just two guys in a chariot.

0:05:01 Emily: Oh no!

0:05:03 Murph: We are a unit.

0:05:05 Lou: Two guys in a chariot. Two guys, one chariot, this fall.

0:05:06 Ally: Coming soon, to TBS.

0:05:06 Brennan: Okay. Theobald, you take 8 points of damage.

0:05:20 Murph: Okay. Down- Minus 3, right?

0:05:20 Brennan: Yes, that's correct.

0:05:22 Murph: Sweet, so 5.

0:05:24 Brennan: Liam takes 13 points of damage. As you guys are riding through the night. With these, they absolutely need torches on them, or you'll go into a fuckin' ditch and kill yourself.

0:05:28 Murph: Right on.

0:05:32 Brennan: And it's enough of a target that the archers up on the wall, these Cruller crossbowmen hit you guys.

0:05:35 Emily: These- It was those guys? The green ones?

0:05:38 Brennan: Mm-hmm. Yes. These guys are going to slide in here. That's going to be...

0:05:47 Zac: Do we know if they're still being- They’re still doing muster checks, or is that done?

0:05:55 Brennan: You're not sure if all of the units have been mustered that are here. It's possible not. But- So you're not certain. That's going to be Amethar.

0:06:09 Lou: Great, can I look at Joren and say,

0:06:12 Amethar: Hey, me, you, that general, now!

0:06:15 Brennan: You see he says,

0:06:15 Joren: Got it, let's roll out the carpet!

0:06:21 Brennan: And five guys go flying.

0:06:21 Lou: Great.

0:06:21 Brennan: And we are going to- Ooh, this is so fun! Here you are. And this is where he's gonna pop this bad boy, literally right here.

0:06:28 Zac: Alright.

0:06:35 Siobhan: They're so afraid! Run away, little idiots.

0:06:35 Lou: They do look scared now.

0:06:35 Zac: [little scared bird noises]

0:06:35 Siobhan: [bird noises]

0:06:35 Zac: They look like aliens.

0:06:35 Ally: Yeah.

0:06:35 Zac: In a cool way.

0:06:49 Ally: Or they look like Marvin Martian.

0:06:51 Emily: Yeah.

0:06:51 Brennan: Amethar, of the House of Rocks, and Duke Joren Jawbreaker.

0:06:58 Ally: Sick, my dad's sick. [Brennan laughing] My dad's so sick!

0:06:58 Brennan: You guys- You guys move through, I'm gonna get some opportunity attacks on you as you guys close through the lines. None of that hits. For Joren- Okay, Joren takes a little bit of damage.

0:07:06 Ruby: Wow. You're so strong.

0:07:15 Brennan: You guys just muscle through, someone slashes out at Joren. You close. You see Constano going,

0:07:24 Grissini: Imperial soldiers! Keep yourselves! These Candians must be-

0:07:26 Brennan: And sees you and Joren closing in on him, lowers his spear. Go ahead and take your turn.

0:07:33 Lou: Great, yeah, can I move like here?

0:07:33 Brennan: Yes you can.

0:07:37 Lou: And then let me just swing on this guy.

0:07:39 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:07:39 Ally: Advantage at that, since you're flanking?

0:07:43 Lou: I'm not sure. But I hit regardless.

0:07:46 Brennan: No, flanking is for units, not for individuals.

0:07:46 Lou: Great, let’s make- So that's gonna be 24 to hit.

0:07:51 Brennan: Yeah, 24'll do it.

0:07:51 Lou: I'll turn that into a trip attack. [Brennan laughing]

0:07:52 Emily: Yeah!

0:07:54 Lou: So he need to make, I think it's-

0:07:59 Brennan: Oh, I have your DC back here.

0:07:59 Lou: Great, fantastic.

0:07:59 Brennan: And it's a Strength check, correct?

0:08:04 Lou: Yeah. Yeah.

0:08:04 Brennan: He succeeds.

0:08:08 Lou: Great. What was 2?

0:08:11 Zac: Oh!

0:08:13 Lou: 7 plus 8, 13, plus 9, 22?

0:08:13 Ally and Murph: 7 plus 8 is 15.

0:08:13 Lou: 15 plus 9, 24.

0:08:13 Brennan: Jesus.

0:08:24 Lou: First attack. We'll go again.

0:08:24 Zac: Nat 20!

0:08:24 Lou: Nat 20. [crowd cheering]

0:08:24 Ally: Crit! Crit! Crit! Crit!

0:08:24 Siobhan: Yes Pops!

0:08:24 Murph: You got superiority die?

0:08:24 Brennan: If you wanna burn it and double it, you can do another trip attack.

0:08:37 Lou: I'll do another trip attack and burn it.

0:08:38 Brennan: Jesus.

0:08:39 Emily: Don't you have something that if you crit on someone-

0:08:42 Lou: He- I don't think he's killed anyone from the family yet.

0:08:47 Brennan: That's an important thing. [to the camera] If Payment Day hits a nat 20 on someone that's killed a member of Amethar's family, they have to save or die.

0:08:53 Lou: Yeah. Oh, why did so many of those fly out? We'll reroll this 1. It's still a 1. So 12, 16, 20, 25, 26, plus 9 is 35.

0:09:09 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:09:09 Lou: And then because I crit, Great Weapon Master gives me one more attack. [Emily squeals] But that's a nat 1.

0:09:16 Brennan: Okay. You deal 59 points of damage to Constano.

0:09:19 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:09:23 Brennan: Just [roaring].

0:09:23 Lou: Did he pass the trip attack?

0:09:23 Brennan: Oh, I have to make a second save, hold on. Hold on that one's cocked. He makes the second one.

0:09:30 Lou: Okay.

0:09:36 Brennan: You see he's just getting bodied and sliding back to keep his stance. That is- That's him, that's gonna be your unit, his unit no longer can use his martial abilities, because he's locked in individual combat with you. Go ahead and roll for your House of Rocks unit.

0:09:52 Lou: Great. That's gonna be not- 6.

0:09:56 Brennan: Okay. And you can roll for the House of Rocks archers behind you.

0:09:59 Lou: Great, they'll hit- They’ll aim for the cavalry again. I think that'll hit. What's, plus 4?

0:10:06 Brennan: Plus 4, has to hit an 18.

0:10:06 Lou: Is it plus 4 or plus 5?

0:10:10 Brennan: I believe it's plus 4.

0:10:10 Lou: Okay, then it's only 17.

0:10:12 Brennan: Gotcha. (noises of arrows missing the target) Yeah, cavalry is very hard to hit.

0:10:16 Lou: And I'll have them move up to-

0:10:16 Brennan: Yes, gotcha. Awesome. That's House Rocks, that's Amethar.

0:10:22 Murph: There's these guys, too, you got these guys.

0:10:24 Siobhan: Yeah, that cavalry.

0:10:25 Brennan: Oh, cavalry, yeah.

0:10:26 Siobhan: And the archers over here.

0:10:26 Murph: Yeah, these guys.

0:10:27 Lou: That cavalry, if it doesn't take an opportunity attack, will move to hit the Vegetanians.

0:10:32 Brennan: Hit the infantry right here?

0:10:34 Lou: Yeah.

0:10:34 Brennan: Cool. No opportunity attack, closes, and it's flanking with Theo and Liam on the other side. Go ahead and roll with advantage.

0:10:39 Lou: Plus?

0:10:39 Brennan: Plus 8.

0:10:39 Lou: 19.

0:10:39 Brennan: That inflicts a casualty on the fresh Vegetanian infantry. Incredible. [grunts] And flies past them. That's House Rocks.

0:10:57 Zac: Oh, can I use that cavalry?

0:10:57 Siobhan: The archers.

0:10:57 Brennan: Yes you can, go for it.

0:11:02 Zac: And I forget if they're still stunned. I forgot if-

0:11:04 Brennan: They are still stunned.

0:11:05 Zac: Okay, cool. So they have advantage.

0:11:07 Brennan: They have advantage.

0:11:07 Zac: 14 plus whatever they add.

0:11:07 Brennan: Oh, that's 18, that hits.

0:11:10 Zac: Okay.

0:11:10 Brennan: Okay. They hit, these guys have to roll morale. They succeed on morale. They suffer their fifth casualty. They are almost dead. They are on the verge of being destroyed. Okay. [solemn music]

0:11:18 Brennan: Hold on, how fast can these motherfuckers move?

0:11:22 Lou: Oh boy.

0:11:26 Murph: Well, you're gonna get your chance at shredding the carrot.

0:11:42 Brennan: These guys close with you.

0:11:42 Murph: Okay. Are they able to attack this turn?

0:11:46 Brennan: No.

0:11:48 Murph: Whew.

0:11:50 Brennan: They are not able to attack. You hear Keradin calling out and going,

0:11:57 Keridan: Sinner! Will you not face your judgment?

0:11:57 Ally: In Bulbian I say,

0:12:02 Liam: [calmly] The Bulb does not consider you. You are nothing to it. The Hungry One also doesn't consider you. You're nothing to that as well.

0:12:11 Ally: And I flick a seed at him. Not the good-

0:12:15 Brennan: Not the good one, but yeah.

0:12:17 Ally: Just a random seed.

0:12:19 Brennan: Just a random seed. Go ahead and give me an Intimidation check with advantage.

0:12:20 Ally: Oh hell yeah. Murph gasps and points into the dice box. [Crowd cheering]

0:12:20 Ally: 20! Nat 20! I was not looking at that one!

0:12:20 Brennan: You have to stop rolling nat 20s! Ally stands up, punching their fist in front of them enthusiastically.

0:12:29 Ally: Yo! I was watching the spinning one, I was like “I don't know”.

0:12:32 Murph: I saw it hit early and I was like-

0:12:36 Brennan: You have to stop this! It's every season!

0:12:42 Liam: Fuck off, Keradin.

0:12:42 Siobhan: Run away, bitch!

0:12:42 Brennan: You see as Keradin looks your steely, glowing peppermint eyes and understands fundamentally the truth of what you say, in fact seeing your vision of the world beyond reflected in your eyes, something deep within him breaks, and he will roll disadvantage on every attack against you for the rest of the fight.

0:12:54 Emily: Yeah!

0:13:00 Ally: Fuck yeah. And I'm speaking in his ancient language.

0:13:03 Brennan: You're speaking in ancient-

0:13:04 Ally: It's like if I said in Greek some weird shit, to like a Bible scholar.

0:13:06 Brennan: Truly miraculous.

0:13:13 Ally: Oh, fuck yeah.

0:13:20 Brennan: Truly miraculous.

0:13:20 Ally: Shred that carrot.

0:13:20 Brennan: He closes, these guys are actually going to tear away- These guys are gonna come down here and flank these cavalry coming for House Rocks. And they do not hit.

0:13:36 Murph: Sweet.

0:13:52 Brennan: They start to fly by, do not hit. These guys are gonna come, they're flanking these cavalry as well. That is going to be a hit.

0:14:05 Murph: Is that one casualty?

0:14:09 Brennan: It's one casualty.

0:14:09 Murph: Okay, those guys are down to two.

0:14:10 Brennan: Yeah. Rest of the Vegetanians that are here.

0:14:15 Emily: And Keradin's force, is that at full force?

0:14:19 Murph: Yeah.

0:14:19 Brennan: Yeah, Keradin's at full. These archers are going to fire on-

0:14:21 Emily: Wait, I haven't had my turn yet. They fired on them- They fired on-

0:14:27 Brennan: No, Cruller, right here, fired on them.

0:14:29 Emily: Oh, I see.

0:14:30 Brennan: This is Vegetania. And they're actually gonna take- They’re gonna fire at the dragon.

0:14:33 Emily: But I have cover. 22 AC.

0:14:36 Brennan: They miss. Ping-a-ting-ting-ting!

0:14:40 Lou: Ping-a-ting-ting.

0:14:43 Brennan: Ba ba bum. That's going to be...

0:14:43 Ally: Oh, can we move that battering ram up? I don't think-

0:14:48 Brennan: Oh, that was supposed to go on Rocks, yeah. This one continues to move up. That's gonna be the Cheddar, that's gonna be the trebuchet.

0:14:59 Ally: Yeah! [clapping]

0:15:02 Murph: Can they attack units?

0:15:02 Brennan: They're really bad at attacking units. They can try to open up holes in the castle wall, they can try to- And they can eliminate places in the castle wall where archers are stationed.

0:15:16 Emily: We have only two left, or two of those-

0:15:16 Siobhan: Ballistas-

0:15:16 Brennan: Yeah, you get these two last ballista here.

0:15:19 Murph: Okay.

0:15:20 Ally: Let's do it.

0:15:22 Lou: No. No. Y- Plus?

0:15:22 Brennan: Plus 5.

0:15:22 Lou: To- 16?

0:15:22 Brennan: 16 hits.

0:15:22 Lou: Great. [cast cheering]

0:15:22 Lou: Are you going for that one in that corner?

0:15:36 Emily: No, I'm going to back up Liam and Theo.

0:15:38 Lou: Okay, great, we'll take out the one in that back corner.

0:15:42 Brennan: Mm-hmm. Go ahead and give me 8d10.

0:15:42 Lou: Oh. 12, 11, 23, 23, 27. Is this math right? Am I doing this math right? 27 plus 10, 37.

0:15:59 Brennan: Okay, still operational. You fire, [roars], another cheese boulder sails overhead. That's gonna be Ruby.

0:16:10 Siobhan: How far can I get with my movement and dash?

0:16:15 Brennan: Movement and dash. Your speed's 35, right?

0:16:19 Siobhan: Yeah, so it's 70.

0:16:19 Brennan: 70, that's about three inches. And you can do a bonus action dash as well.

0:16:24 Siobhan: Right, I'm wondering if I wanna do that.

0:16:28 Brennan: So your-

0:16:28 Zac: Hopefully you can attack with a second one.

0:16:28 Brennan: So a double move is about that far.

0:16:30 Ally: Yeah, you'd be caught up.

0:16:31 Siobhan: Okay. Yeah, I'll do that double move. If I step out now, can I step back in on my next turn?

0:16:47 Brennan: Yes, you can. But you have used your movement to- You're also moving, yeah.

0:16:51 Siobhan: Right, but could I shoot somebody, is what I'm asking.

0:16:54 Brennan: Yes, absolutely.

0:16:54 Murph: Couldn't your whole unit shoot people?

0:16:54 Siobhan: No, my unit is infantry.

0:16:54 Brennan: Your unit are not archers. But you absolutely can step out and step back in. Absolutely, yes.

0:17:03 Siobhan: Great. And how far away is Carrot Man?

0:17:07 Brennan: Let's see how far Carrot Man is away. From you, right now, he's about seven inches, 7 times 25, he's about 175 feet away.

0:17:17 Siobhan: Oh, so I can't get him. Hmm.

0:17:19 Zac: There's one of those chariots.

0:17:22 Murph: Can you get a chariot?

0:17:22 Siobhan: Yeah, I could shoot a chariot.

0:17:23 Ally: Those chariots are flanking us.

0:17:24 Murph: 'Cause they’re going to mess up our deal.

0:17:24 Siobhan: Yeah, so they're flanked, right, so I can shoot with advantage? Or no?

0:17:27 Ally: No, they are flanking.

0:17:29 Brennan: That's only for units.

0:17:32 Siobhan: Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I might as well.

0:17:35 Brennan: He's within disadvantage range of your shortbow.

0:17:38 Siobhan: Oh, so I would only be shooting with disadvantage.

0:17:40 Brennan: You'd be shooting with disadvantage.

0:17:42 Siobhan: Fuck! Okay.

0:17:45 Murph: Could Yak, though, give you- Just equal it out?

0:17:45 Siobhan: Then I could equal it out? Yeah.

0:17:47 Brennan: Equal it out and just take a straight attack. Okay, awesome.

0:17:52 Siobhan: No.

0:17:52 Murph: Fuck!

0:17:52 Brennan: Okay.

0:17:52 Siobhan: 14.

0:17:52 Brennan: 14 does not hit. Arrow flies off into the dark, (ping), off of Keradin's armor. And your unit has moved, you take an attack. It's gonna be the Duke Joren Jawbreaker.

0:18:00 Ally: He gets advantage, I think?

0:18:07 Zac: Could your unit have like, readied an action to attack?

0:18:13 Murph: I don't know if he's prone.

0:18:14 Siobhan: Oh yeah, can my- Can my unit ready an attack if somebody comes near us?

0:18:20 Brennan: No, they cannot. 'Cause you- They used your bonus, oh, they actually can, yeah. They can ready an attack.

0:18:24 Siobhan: Okay, so if somebody comes next to us, they'll bash 'em.

0:18:30 Brennan: Cool, gotcha. Oop. [one of his dice clatters onto the floor] I've made a terrible error, that's all right, I have a million dice. [Ally laughing]

0:18:32 Lou: (singing) I have a million dice.

0:18:33 Ally: I've made a terrible error. [ominous music]

0:18:34 Brennan: Ooh. Buddy. Oh. 16 plus 3 is 19 plus- 19 plus-

0:18:58 Murph: Joren Jawbreaker, I think.

0:18:59 Brennan: 5 is-

0:19:00 Ally: On Grissini no, he's doing this damage.

0:19:00 Zac: Oh.

0:19:00 Murph: I think so, I think this is good.

0:19:02 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:19:02 Brennan: Yeah, you see, you [grunting], Payment Day, he slides back and is hit right across the back of the head for 30 points of damage by Chin Seeker.

0:19:08 Siobhan: Great.

0:19:14 Brennan: Boom! As Jawbreaker moves in on the other side of him, this little breadstick guy, two giant Candian berserkers on either side. You see he goes,

0:19:24 Joren: Oh, you love to see it!

0:19:29 Amethar: You love to see it.

0:19:32 Joren: You spill those guts and I'll get a new set of teeth!

0:19:35 Brennan: That is him. His unit is going to… Actually, they're gonna move this way, get in between the archers, but they're gonna go for Grissini and flank. Go ahead and give me an attack roll with advantage.

0:19:54 Lou: Plus 4?

0:19:54 Brennan: Plus 4.

0:19:56 Lou: 14?

0:19:58 Brennan: 14 does not hit. Then you can get his crossbow behind you. Are those- Or no, that's infantry, right?

0:20:04 Lou: Yeah.

0:20:04 Brennan: Okay. So there, where do you want that infantry to go?

0:20:10 Lou: Can they start to move through the church as well?

0:20:12 Brennan: Yeah, they take just a full double move, they get up here. Cool. Getting to the high ground. You guys have like- You can hear your candy soldiers sweating as they like rush up the hill. Jawbreaker, Ruby, do you have anywhere you want this Jawbreaker cavalry to go right here?

0:20:30 Siobhan: I mean, why don't they attack the cavalry that's right next to them, that makes sense to me. And that-

0:20:34 Brennan: Cool. And that makes them flanking. Go ahead and roll with advantage for them.

0:20:41 Siobhan: Fuck. And it's plus what?

0:20:41 Zac: 8, right?

0:20:41 Brennan: Plus 8.

0:20:41 Siobhan: What's 7 plus 8? 15, nah.

0:20:43 Zac: Nah.

0:20:45 Brennan: No, not gonna do it. And then you have Jawbreaker archery right here. This cavalry is a little bit injured, this one's not. These guys are uninjured as well. But you do have Jawbreaker crossbow right there.

0:20:57 Siobhan: Why don't we go after the injured cavalry?

0:21:01 Brennan: Go for it. Give me an attack roll, and we'll do with advantage, 'cause they're flanked, or no they're not flanked, this is just a regular roll.

0:21:08 Siobhan: Aren't they flanked by that cavalry right there?

0:21:09 Brennan: No, these guys are-

0:21:09 Ally: The injured ones are not flanked.

0:21:11 Brennan: The injured ones are not flanked, yeah.

0:21:12 Siobhan: Okay. No.

0:21:13 Brennan: Not gonna do it. Okay. That is Jawbreaker. That's going to be… [sighs] Grissini. These guys are gonna close in on you. [tense music] Okay. That's two hits from Grissini on Amethar. 8, 11, 6 is 17, plus 4 is 21 halved to 10 on the first one. Second one is 8, 11, 15, 18, 22 halved to 11 on the next one.

0:22:10 Lou: First one was 10, second was 11?

0:22:12 Brennan: Yes, first one was 10, second was 11. And then his dudes will take some attacks here. 11, 14, plus 9 is 23, halved to 11 again, as he shouts orders for all his men to just attack you.

0:22:42 Lou: 11 again?

0:22:42 Brennan: 11 again. What's Amethar at?

0:22:45 Lou: 84.

0:22:45 Brennan: Okay. That's him, his unit is gonna go after Rocks, but without any of his advantages as a commander. That is a miss from them. House Jawbreaker's infantry right there is gonna get some from the crossbow. That's going to be… That's gonna be a miss from them. These guys are going to come here for Jawbreaker's force. That's gonna be a casualty.

0:23:16 Murph: Yikes.

0:23:47 Brennan: (whispering) Any other Ceresians doing anything out here? Ba bum. Ceresian archers appear at the top and are going to fire on that Jawbreaker cavalry. Or on, sorry, the Rocks cavalry. They inflict another casualty. I'm gonna need a morale save. These guys- The cavalry has a plus 4 to morale, you need to hit a 15.

0:24:00 Lou: 14.

0:24:13 Brennan: The Ceresian archers appear at the top of the gatehouse. This cavalry unit is slaughtered.

0:24:16 Theo: We're in a bad position, Liam.

0:24:17 Liam: Yeah.

0:24:19 Brennan: That's going to be...

0:24:27 Emily: These are bad guys, these are bad guys?

0:24:31 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:24:33 Ally: Pretty much everyone in front of us, those four little-

0:24:35 Brennan: Cumulous, that's you.

0:24:35 Zac: Cumulous is just going to attack the… If I broke off from them, how many people are there to...

0:24:43 Brennan: Oh. How many- Oh, if you broke off, how many people are there?

0:24:50 Zac: Yeah, like I'm just wondering if it'd make sense for me to… You know what, I'll just attack 'em with the crew. I’ll just do that.

0:24:54 Brennan: Cool. Go for it.

0:24:54 Zac: They're not stunned anymore, right?

0:24:58 Brennan: I believe it's till the end of your next turn, right?

0:25:00 Zac: Oh, okay, so they're still stunned.

0:25:00 Brennan: I think they're still stunned, yeah, so you can attack with advantage.

0:25:02 Zac: Oh, whoops. So 14 plus whatever I get.

0:25:06 Brennan: Oh. You slaughter them. The Meatlanders are defeated. [cast cheering]

0:25:09 Murph: Yes!

0:25:12 Zac: Yes. And that's my- I'm going to- Can I… Yeah, I guess I… Would the dogs get an attack of opportunity on me if I-

0:25:29 Brennan: No, they would not.

0:25:29 Zac: Okay. And I ignore difficult terrain?

0:25:32 Brennan: Yeah, correct.

0:25:32 Zac: How far can I get up this path? Or I wanna like-

0:25:37 Brennan: Speed's 50, right?

0:25:37 Zac: Yeah, yeah.

0:25:37 Brennan: So you took an attack, movement would be two of these squares.

0:25:41 Zac: Okay.

0:25:42 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:25:42 Zac: I'll do that.

0:25:42 Brennan: Cool. You run. I'm actually gonna make two morale checks for these dogs. One of the groups of dogs just flees as the Meatlanders die.

0:25:54 Zac: Is there another group of dogs?

0:25:54 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:25:54 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:25:54 Ally: You just can't see it.

0:25:54 Murph: There were two.

0:25:54 Zac: Oh, oh.

0:25:54 Murph: And then you have archers, right?

0:25:59 Zac: Yeah, they're going on his turn, though.

0:26:01 Murph: Okay, got it.

0:26:01 Brennan: That's Cumulous, so that's your move, so you kill them, take your move. Saccharina, it's you and Cinnamon.

0:26:08 Emily: Okay. Cinnamon's gonna fly down so that I get in position to Cone of Cold those archers.

0:26:16 Brennan: The Vegetanian archers, cool.

0:26:16 Emily: So that's gonna be 8d8 cold damage. But that’s-

0:26:20 Siobhan: Isn't it higher 'cause they're wearing armor?

0:26:22 Emily: Hmm?

0:26:24 Siobhan: Cone of Cold, doesn't it do more damage if they're wearing metal armor?

0:26:26 Brennan: I don't think so, no.

0:26:27 Emily: It doesn't say anything, no.

0:26:28 Zac: I think that's lightning stuff.

0:26:28 Siobhan: Oh, okay.

0:26:29 Murph: Do you need more d8s?

0:26:31 Emily: Yeah, I need more d8s.

0:26:31 Ally: I got a bunch of d8s.

0:26:31 Siobhan: But this is like mid-flight, so this isn't like him ending his move.

0:26:38 Brennan: No.

0:26:44 Murph: Do you need more? I got one.

0:26:50 Emily: Seven, eight, okay. Let’s see. So 14, 20, 30, 5, 36. 36 to a 60-foot cone.

0:26:50 Siobhan: Jesus.

0:26:50 Brennan: I mean, that's fuckin' everybody. I'm gonna roll a Constitution saving throw. If they… These guys have a plus 2.

0:26:59 Emily: They have to hit a 17.

0:27:07 Brennan: So they need a 15 or higher. We're gonna do Box of Doom. I mean, a cone literally, a 60-foot cone is gonna hit every single one of them. So they need to roll a 15 or higher. They need to roll a 15 or higher.

0:27:16 Emily: Would they all save?

0:27:24 Brennan: That's a 7. [Emily laughs]

0:27:28 Murph: Okay.

0:27:32 Brennan: Saccharina, you, astride Cinnamon, feel the rush of going over the tower's edge. Tell me what happens to these archers.

0:27:38 Emily: So it's Cone of Cold, so they actually all just freeze there, and it's frozen, just so that everyone looking on knows what's coming for them.

0:27:49 Brennan: All of- You guys see that entire u-

0:27:52 Emily: But they all freeze in like terrifying death postures.

0:27:55 Brennan: You guys see an entire unit of archers, an entire squadron of Vegetanian archers, frozen in three layers of ice, just chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. [Emily laughing] [gasping] You have, in one spell, wiped out a unit from the board.

0:28:05 Ally: That's crazy.

0:28:15 Brennan: And then we're gonna- Cinnamon's gonna continue moving and land right here [right behind Liam and Theo’s chariot]. And it's time to use-

0:28:18 Theo: Liam, we're in a really bad position, oh, this is good!

0:28:21 Brennan: Hold on. We are gonna be diligent about speed, 'cause 80 feet is not that far.

0:28:31 Emily: But his speed is actually doubled, that's part of Haste.

0:28:33 Brennan: Oh, Jesus, are you serious?

0:28:33 Emily: Yeah. Says uh "until spell ends, target's speed is doubled."

0:28:38 Ally: So 160?

0:28:38 Brennan: Okay, so hold on. So his speed is 160, which is four, six… Like six and a half inches. Okay, so he uses three, like two to get there, and then, okay, so in one movement, he gets here. That's where he can get for one movement.

0:29:00 Emily: Okay, then since he has Haste, he'll use it to do that.

0:29:03 Brennan: Do one action to get in position.

0:29:06 Emily: And then he's going to Fire Breath. Brennan looks down for a moment, then puts a hand over his mouth. [Ally gasps]

0:29:13 Emily: [laughing] I think I look at Theobald, and I say,

0:29:16 Saccharina: I fully trust you.

0:29:19 Theo: These are the right kind of people to fry!

0:29:21 Liam: You already trusted us, right? What do you mean? What are you talking about?

0:29:22 Saccharina: Of course, my Master of Arrows. (whispering) Please don't assassinate me.

0:29:27 Theo: We need to talk, Liam, there's-

0:29:32 Liam: I wouldn't ever assassinate the queen, that's so- What?

0:29:32 Brennan: Go ahead and roll damage for me for his Fire Breath ability.

0:29:34 Ally: What does that do?

0:29:36 Emily: 16d6.

0:29:36 Ally: What?!

0:29:36 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

0:29:37 Ally: No! No way!

0:29:37 Lou: You need more?

0:29:37 Ally: No way! I have a really pointy d8 that's hard to use.

0:29:43 Zac: Here's two more.

0:29:49 Emily: 10. Oop. 12, 14, 16, okay.

0:29:52 Siobhan: Jesus. Everybody stand back.

0:29:56 Emily: This is “”Liam's first attack” level. Okay.

0:29:56 Ally: Hell yeah, my dice did well.

0:29:56 Emily: 11.

0:29:56 Zac: They always do.

0:29:56 Ally: They always do, brother. [Siobhan laughing]

0:29:56 Emily: 33.

0:29:56 Siobhan: I shouldn't spit, I'm sick.

0:30:08 Emily: 34.

0:30:21 Ally: You barf on the dice.

0:30:26 Emily: 38, 39, 40, 45, 50, 57. 57 damage to a 30 foot cone. They have to make a DC 17 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, they take half that.

0:30:47 Brennan: Okay. 30 foot, the most you can affect is half the unit. So they have six, their size is six, and the DC is 17, these guys get, what is this, Constitution or Dexterity.

0:30:58 Emily: Dex.

0:31:00 Brennan: Okay, so they only have a plus 1 to this.

0:31:03 Emily: Yeah.

0:31:03 Brennan: So on a 16 or higher, you still inflict one casualty, on a 15 or lower, you inflict...

0:31:10 Emily: Wait, with the breath weapon, it’s only- I'd only inflict one casualty?

0:31:13 Brennan: If they make their save. If they fail their save, you're gonna cut half this unit off. Right? 'Cause it's about the length of the breath weapon. You can't hit the guys past 30 feet.

0:31:23 Emily: Okay.

0:31:27 Brennan: So we're gonna roll, again, on a 16 or higher-

0:31:30 Emily: But they'd still take half damage.

0:31:30 Brennan: They'd still take half. [gets out the Box of Doom] So we’re gonna roll, again on a 16 or higher, it's gonna be one casualty to that unit, on a 15 or lower, they are gonna take three casualties from that attack.

0:31:40 Emily: Three casualties. Only three?

0:31:40 Siobhan: What about Keradin? He's standing right there.

0:31:45 Brennan: Keradin is gonna get damage as an individual.

0:31:46 Siobhan: Okay.

0:31:46 Emily: Okay, great.

0:31:46 Brennan: That is a 6.

0:31:46 Ally: Yes!

0:31:50 Emily: Yeah!

0:31:54 Ally: Half of 'em are gone.

0:31:54 Brennan: These are the like armored paladins of the Bulbian Church. You watch half of them like, throw up paladin spells and prayers. A vision of fire spreads its wings, and the entire field of Dulcington is cast in a cinnamon-red glow. For a moment, only the screams can be heard in the distant pitch of battle surrounding this moment of pure silence, with a few timid wails. [roaring] Half of the paladins lay dead, and the ones that survive stand just past the edge of ground that is singed and burnt, that smells of burning leaves and vegetables.

0:32:19 Siobhan: Delicious.

0:32:31 Ally: Delicious.

0:32:37 Emily: How is Keradin doing? Does he get affected? Does he take half or…

0:32:43 Brennan: Keradin is gonna roll- Keradin's gonna roll his own save.

0:32:47 Ally: Can I have those dice please?

0:32:48 Emily: Yeah.

0:32:50 Brennan: And that's Sir Keradin. Dexterity. He makes his Dex save, so what's half of what you rolled, sorry?

0:33:03 Emily: Did I say 57?

0:33:03 Zac: Yeah.

0:33:03 Emily: He makes his Dex save?

0:33:07 Brennan: Makes his Dex save, so that’s-

0:33:07 Emily: Luck point.

0:33:08 Brennan: You're gonna make him reroll. He fails his Dex.

0:33:11 Ally: Oh! (claps) [Emily laughing]

0:33:14 Brennan: We're gonna get another one of these out here. Hold on one second.

0:33:22 Emily: I'm assuming that won't kill him. I don't wanna like kill-

0:33:23 Ally: Please, no.

0:33:23 Emily: That won't kill him, right? I don't wanna kill him.

0:33:27 Brennan: No, he's got so many fuckin' hit points.

0:33:27 Emily: Cool, cool. I just wanna get him real weak.

0:33:29 Brennan: Hold on one second, though. We're gonna do it this way. Cheesus Christ.

0:33:30 Ally: Awesome.

0:33:32 Brennan: This is the coolest shit in the world. [Emily laughing] This is the coolest shit in the fuckin' world. And you guys are literally right here.

0:33:40 Ally: Yeah, yeah.

0:33:49 Murph: Yeah, we gotta jump out and kill that carrot.

0:33:54 Brennan: So you guys are over here, Theo you're right here, and Keradin Deeproot is the only one within 30 feet that has survived this blast of dragon fire.

0:34:04 Emily: Can I use some kind of like Intimidation check on these people who are behind them? Just because I'm on a dragon who just breathed fire?

0:34:09 Brennan: Yeaah, I’m gonna say- Yeah, give me, I'm gonna say that it's a DC, on a DC 20 Intimidate, you can make them make a morale check or suffer a casualty.

0:34:13 Ally: Ooh, cool.

0:34:17 Emily: Intimidate. Would it be, what do I add to- Like should I use his Intimidate or mine?

0:34:23 Brennan: You should use your Intimidation.

0:34:23 Emily: My Intimidation, okay. So what is it, 20?

0:34:24 Brennan: Yeah.

0:34:26 Emily: Okay. I didn't get it.

0:34:26 Brennan: Cool. They are focused on the fight in front of them, and only turn to just see this demonic fucking force. You- This paladin of the church, burnt and his armor singed, stares up at a Witch Queen astride a candy dragon and stares up into the jaws of death. That is- Okay, the archers, these fruit archers are going to fire on the dragon. [tense music]

0:35:02 Emily: My baby. Yes, we are in harm's way now. Remember he does still have 20 AC.

0:35:05 Brennan: Still has 20 AC, for sure. 1, 2, and a crit. 4 and a crit. Crit. Plus 6.

0:35:06 Siobhan: [singing] Da da da da da. [Ally sneezes]

0:35:07 Murph: Bless you.

0:35:08 Brennan: 12, 16, 20, 31, 37 plus 6 is 43. Cinnamon takes 43 points of damage as arrows fly from the walls.

0:35:40 Ally: How is he?

0:35:45 Emily: He’s- He'll be okay. We are gonna fly back to cover, though, next chance we get.

0:35:48 Brennan: That's going to be… That's that unit. These dogs fuck right off. No one's yelling orders at them.

0:36:02 Zac: See ya, dogs.

0:36:04 Brennan: See ya, dogs.

0:36:04 Ally: See ya, dogs.

0:36:04 Brennan: That is going to be the only ballistae that are left. That one has no line of sight to the dragon. Neither does that one. That's going to be Liam.

0:36:12 Ally: I think we all know what I do. [Brennan and Murph laughing]

0:36:17 Siobhan: Do a little dance?

0:36:21 Ally: I hop out of the carriage. [solemn music] I'm completely wrapped up in being a war guy at this point. I cast Disguise Self on myself and I become Keradin Deeproot. I point at him and I cast Hunter's Mark. Can I do that, or is that two spells?

0:36:43 Brennan: The Disguise Self you get for free. [Emily laughing]

0:36:43 Ally: I cast Disguise Self, I become him, and then I cast Hunter's Mark, and then I run away and hide with my extra action.

0:36:51 Brennan: Oh.

0:36:56 Emily: Oh! Okay.

0:36:58 Brennan: Okay.

0:36:59 Siobhan: All right, all right, okay.

0:37:00 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Stealth check.

0:37:03 Ally: Gladly. [whistles] Well, it's okay. 20. Not nat.

0:37:03 Brennan: Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna say you rush off into the shadows and hide. That is your turn. You have a unit, but they're not gonna- Your unit is gonna move to just act on the Jawbreaker unit turn.

0:37:21 Ally: I'm fine with that, yeah. My archers?

0:37:24 Brennan: The archers, yeah. Theo, that's gonna be you.

0:37:27 Murph: Sweet. Do I get a sense that these guys that are right in front of me, 'cause I can probably see 'em pretty well, do they look like they're gonna turn around and come after us, or are they marching forward?

0:37:38 Brennan: They just had the cavalry in front of them slaughtered. Give me an Insight check.

0:37:43 Murph: Okay. 17.

0:37:43 Brennan: They may turn and charge the dragon.

0:37:52 Murph: Okay. I am going to maybe try to impose like disadvantage or something. Can I like, just hit the meep on the ass, try to like freak it out, and send it like running through their line?

0:38:04 Brennan: Yeah, give me a- I'm gonna say give me like a… This would actually just be Animal Handling. So just give me an Animal Handling check. And Princess can give you advantage on this.

0:38:15 Murph: Okay, I'm gonna have Princess help me with this one.

0:38:17 Ally: Just spank a meep?

0:38:17 Murph: Spank a meep.

0:38:18 Ally: Roll to spank this meep.

0:38:18 Lou: It's not- It’s an art, dude. To spank a meep.

0:38:18 Brennan: We'll call this DC 15.

0:38:18 Murph: Okay.

0:38:18 Ally: It's not about pain. You can do a dull thud, you can do a smack.

0:38:18 Murph: What is Animal Handling? Can I do Intimidation instead?

0:38:18 Brennan: Sure.

0:38:30 Murph: Okay. I'm being very mean to this meep.

0:38:30 Emily: An intimidating spank.

0:38:30 Brennan: Meep. This poor meep.

0:38:30 Murph: Yeah.

0:38:36 Theo: Gooey taught me this one!

0:38:36 Murph: Oh thank god, it was so close to 1.

0:38:36 Ally: Oh, it was so close, it was so close!

0:38:36 Brennan: Incredible.

0:38:36 Murph: That is, yeah, 17?

0:38:46 Brennan: You leap off the chariot, spank this thing across the ass Gooey style, and-

0:38:48 Lou: Gooey style.

0:38:48 Brennan: Gooey style!

0:38:49 Siobhan: Oppa Gooey style.

0:38:49 Zac: Oppa Gooey style?

0:38:49 Brennan: Oppa Gooey style.

0:38:56 Ally: No!

0:38:56 Brennan: And the meep charges through and is gonna give them disadvantage on their next roll.

0:39:02 Murph: Awesome. Can I still do an action, or was that my action?

0:39:05 Brennan: You can do a bonus action, or a movement, if you want to.

0:39:10 Murph: Hmm, could I do just a cantrip?

0:39:10 Brennan: Sure, you can do a cantrip.

0:39:13 Murph: Sweet, I'm gonna do Blade Ward on myself. Give myself resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing.

0:39:17 Brennan: Cool.

0:39:19 Murph: Done by weapon attacks.

0:39:19 Brennan: Hell yeah. Cool. So you’re like- You've leapt out here, they have disadvantage. That is Theo's turn. And you can go ahead and move the Knights of North-Gumbia. Where do you want them?

0:39:33 Murph: Oh, sweet. I think I'll have them come around to… Where would they go? I guess they'll start moving forward a little bit and go in on these-

0:39:44 Brennan: Go in on these cavalry here? Cool.

0:39:44 Murph: Yeah.

0:39:44 Brennan: Go ahead and make their attack.

0:39:46 Murph: Come on, gang. Only 14.

0:39:52 Brennan: Okay, cling cling cling! They're going after the cavalry. That's going to be… Bum bum bum.

0:39:59 Murph: And I guess I'll go up on Keradin Deeproot, make sure he doesn't do any sheisty stuff.

0:40:05 Brennan: Okay.

0:40:05 Murph: Running towards the Queen or something.

0:40:08 Brennan: Amethar, that's you.

0:40:14 Lou: You know what to do, baby.

0:40:14 Ally: Oh that was me.

0:40:17 Lou: Does a 17 hit?

0:40:17 Brennan: Yes it does.

0:40:21 Lou: Great. Did he hurt me?

0:40:21 Brennan: He did hurt you.

0:40:30 Lou: Okay. [tense music] Reroll this 1, reroll this. Great. 6, 11, 14, 17, plus 9.

0:40:34 Brennan: 26.

0:40:34 Lou: 26. Great. We'll do it again. Bang, bang. 27. Nothing to reroll. 8 plus 10, 18, plus 9, 27.

0:41:00 Brennan: Amethar, what happens to Constano Grissini?

0:41:02 Lou: I kick him in his fucking chest, once he's on the fucking ground looking at me, I say,

0:41:06 Amethar: You were good to my daughter. But you fight for the wrong side.

0:41:13 Lou: And I drive my blade deep into his chest.

0:41:16 Brennan: You feel the only thing stopping your blade is the fact that you can't push your hilt through his ribs. [Grunting] Doughy, yeasty blood pours out of Grissini's mouth. His troops wail. I'm gonna make a morale check for them with disadvantage, watching this. They might just suffer a casualty literally just from you destroying their commander. That is a 2.

0:41:33 Siobhan: Great.

0:41:42 Murph: Nice.

0:41:47 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:41:51 Brennan: You see that a good maybe 20% of his soldiers turn and flee.

0:41:57 Lou: And that's a death, right?

0:42:00 Brennan: That is a death, yes.

0:42:00 Lou: I get a bonus attack. [Brennan laughing] That I'll just use on one of the guys who hit me last round.

0:42:07 Brennan: I'll let you use the bonus attack to give your troops advantage if you want.

0:42:10 Lou: Great, I'd love that too.

0:42:11 Brennan: Go ahead and make an attack from Rocks.

0:42:12 Lou: Wow, a 2 and a 3.

0:42:13 Ally: This dragon will be out of here soon.

0:42:13 Brennan: You [grunts], Grissini's dead body is there on the ground. You guys are very quickly working your way through the people that have wronged your family. That is, let's do the rest of the House of Rocks.

0:42:38 Lou: Great. The archers will turn and fire on the Ceresians. Is that okay, if they fire through ranks?

0:42:44 Brennan: Yeah, they absolutely can.

0:42:46 Lou: Great, so they'll fire on the Ceresians there. That's only a 13.

0:42:54 Brennan: That's a miss.

0:42:54 Lou: Come on, boys.

0:42:54 Brennan: Can- And then you have your ram right here.

0:42:58 Lou: The ram will I think fall in behind Liam's forces, just because I don't want it out in the open.

0:43:07 Brennan: Gotcha, yeah yeah yeah. Cool it falls in right here. Great, that's House Rocks.

0:43:13 Siobhan: There's these archers as well.

0:43:13 Brennan: Oh, and the archers as well.

0:43:15 Zac: I think they'll just move up. Can I just...

0:43:16 Brennan: Yeah, they can fall in. They can't get all the way, 'cause your guys are faster than them, but they can get up there. Okay. That's going to be... After that is Keradin Deeproot.

0:43:24 Siobhan: Shit.

0:43:32 Brennan: Steps up.

0:43:32 Murph: So I get an opportunity attack?

0:43:35 Brennan: Yes you do.

0:43:39 Emily: Yeah, fuck him up. [Murph groaning]

0:43:41 Ally: Can Princess help you?

0:43:44 Murph: I don’t- No, not on an opportunity attack. 21?

0:43:44 Brennan: 21 hits.

0:43:44 Murph: Okay, I don't do a lot of damage, people, so don't get too excited. [Ally laughs]

0:43:46 Lou: Damage is damage, baby.

0:43:49 Murph: I'm not like you guys. 7 damage.

0:43:49 Ally: Hey. It's a livin'. [Emily and Ally laughing]

0:43:49 Lou: Is it 11?

0:43:49 Ally: It's a livin'.

0:43:49 Lou: Oh, I was really hoping it was 11.

0:43:49 Emily: It's 11.

0:43:49 Zac: It's a 7. [cast laughing]

0:43:49 Brennan: Okay. Sometimes my cards are missing.

0:44:07 Ally: Honestly, I think I'm too young to know what that's even from.

0:44:08 Siobhan: I have no idea.

0:44:09 Ally: But I know it's something my parents would say.

0:44:09 Zac: It's "The Flintstones."

0:44:09 Ally: Oh.

0:44:09 Brennan: How much was that, 7?

0:44:09 Murph: 7 damage.

0:44:09 Brennan: 7 damage?

0:44:09 Siobhan: They still have "The Flintstones" in Alabama.

0:44:09 Ally: Yeah. [laughing] Zac...

0:44:09 Brennan: He moves past you, you get one good strike across his back, he stumbles forward, he closes with the dragon. He's gonna make three attacks.

0:44:30 Emily: Would the dragon not- Wouldn't the dragon have like reach or something, so he would-

0:44:34 Brennan: But he didn't- Unfortunately in 5e, he doesn't leave the threatened area, which is the only thing that triggers the attack. He's going to use a Second Wind to regain some hit points.

0:44:48 Lou: Mh! Wait, hold on, the bad guys can do stuff we can do?

0:44:50 Siobhan: Outrageous.

0:44:51 Zac: I thought he was a paladin.

0:44:51 Brennan: And his AC right now is 22, correct?

0:44:54 Emily: Yes. No, 20.

0:44:56 Brennan: 20.

0:44:57 Siobhan: Maybe he has some levels of fighter.

0:45:00 Brennan: Oh my god. [tense music] He walks up and says,

0:45:10 Keradin: Beast of the Hungry One, I see what is within you. Let the mace of the faith… (gasps)

0:45:14 Brennan: And you see that he has a flash of seeing Liam's face as his own, speaking in Bulbosi, swings, stumbles, misses, and collapses to the ground, missing all three attacks. That's a 7, a 2, and a 1. [Emily laughing]

0:45:21 Murph: Whoa.

0:45:28 Saccharina: Cinnamon, maybe just step on him. [Brennan, Ally and Emily laughing] Cinnamon gives a “shrug” kind of screech.

0:45:38 Brennan: That is Keradin. Vegetanian archers are statues. These guys, however, the rest of the unit is going to close, I'm afraid. So these guys are gonna close here. These guys are going to turn to face Theobald.

0:46:02 Zac: And they have disadvantage, right?

0:46:05 Murph: Yeah, 'cause the meep.

0:46:06 Lou: That damn meep.

0:46:07 Emily: They have disadvantage.

0:46:08 Murph: That freaked out meep.

0:46:08 Brennan: Freaked meep, dude.

0:46:11 Ally: Freaky meep.

0:46:13 Lou: [like “Freek-A-Leek”] Freak-a-meep. Keisha. [Ally laughs]

0:46:15 Brennan: Oh my god. Okay.

0:46:15 Ally: Freak-a-meep. Monique.

0:46:15 Lou: Christina. Freak-a-meep. Oh, I'm just imagining a giant meep in a club.

0:46:15 Ally: Oh, yeah. That meep's ass in a thong? Wake up! That meep dancing?

0:46:15 Siobhan: Ah, that meep is thick as hell.

0:46:15 Lou: Dog, that meep is thick!

0:46:15 Ally: Soft. Covered in sugar.

0:46:27 Lou: Ooh.

0:46:40 Ally: Did I just discover a new kink in myself? [Siobhan and Ally laughing]

0:46:44 Siobhan: You know what, sometimes you find a new kink. You never know.

0:46:46 Lou: Hey, will you dress as a meep for me?

0:46:46 Ally: Hey, will you dip your butt in sugar?

0:46:49 Zac: I kinda zoned out and then I came back to to that.

0:46:53 Ally: So, what do you think, babe? [laughing]

0:46:55 Lou: Also, babe, why do you keep disappearing when we're talking?

0:46:59 Ally: Oh no!

0:47:03 Brennan: Theo, you're at the edge, oh, you're over here. You get swarmed by the entire infantry. I rolled 20 attacks against you, and not one of them hit.

0:47:07 Emily: Ah!

0:47:11 Ally: What's going on?

0:47:13 Murph: Good for me.

0:47:15 Brennan: This is- This is- Murph does 7 damage on an attack because instead of doing that, he does this.

0:47:17 Ally: Oh, yeah. [Emily laughing]

0:47:20 Brennan: So you literally hold- You are one man holding back an entire unit of infantry. You watch Theobald square up, and now you've got Castle Candy to your back, and you [grunting]. Just taking all of the fucking hits that you can. However, these guys are gonna come up and attack Cinnamon. Okay, those are some hits.

0:47:36 Ally: Cinnamon.

0:47:51 Lou: Can't stop thinking about freak-a-meep.

0:47:51 Ally: This is hard because my wiener dog's name is Cinnamon.

0:47:58 Brennan: Cinnamon takes another 12 points of damage as the unit of paladins closes in on him. Spears start to gore the dragon. That is- And then these guys are gonna take some attacks, and they're gonna get advantage on them. That's a hit. That is not a hit. The Knights of North-Gumbia sustain another casualty.

0:48:15 Murph: Yikes.

0:48:31 Brennan: Yeah, the cavalry flanks them and they start slaughtering the Knights of North-Gumbia. That's going to be trebuchet.

0:48:38 Ally: Let's do it.

0:48:38 Emily: Oh, right, let's fuck 'em.

0:48:38 Murph: Yo, can we hit those archers?

0:48:53 Emily: Yeah, let's go for the archers, maybe.

0:48:53 Lou: 14 and a 17. 18.

0:48:53 Brennan: Oh, sorry.

0:48:54 Siobhan: Wait, plus 5. 14 plus 5 so 19.

0:48:54 Brennan: That hits, you're going for the ballista, right?

0:48:54 Siobhan: No, we're going for the archers on top of the gate.

0:48:54 Lou: The archers-

0:48:54 Brennan: Oh, the ones, are you trying to destroy the gatehouse?

0:48:56 Siobhan: The Ceresian archers.

0:48:58 Lou: I think it's more like aiming for the archers on top of the gate.

0:49:03 Brennan: Yeah, okay. You hit and inflict a casualty.

0:49:06 Lou: Great. Okay, great. Cool.

0:49:09 Zac: You have two more.

0:49:09 Lou: Let's go again.

0:49:09 Zac: Oh.

0:49:09 Lou: 13, plus 5, 18?

0:49:09 Brennan: That's another casualty.

0:49:15 Emily: Yes.

0:49:17 Lou: Great.

0:49:19 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:49:19 Lou: 10. That was the weirdest rolling I've ever done.

0:49:20 Brennan: You see the archers all up here, just trebuchet. [Grunting] As bread is knocked apart by these cheese boulders. You hear the cries of the Dairy Islanders behind you. That's going to be… Ruby, that's you.

0:49:34 Siobhan: If I hide and then move, do I stop being hidden?

0:49:41 Brennan: No.

0:49:45 Siobhan: Great, so I would like to-

0:49:45 Brennan: You can also move and then hide, too.

0:49:48 Siobhan: Sure. But my ability to hide informs my choices.

0:49:52 Brennan: Gotcha.

0:49:52 Siobhan: So I'm gonna try and hide and then move.

0:49:55 Brennan: Cool.

0:49:58 Siobhan: That's a nat 20.

0:49:58 Brennan: Yep, you're good.

0:49:58 Siobhan: So I would like to basically be in between these Rocks and gummy bear guys, in there.

0:50:12 Brennan: Right here, as much as you can? Okay, that's gonna be hard 'cause of these Vegetanians right there.

0:50:15 Siobhan: With my movement plus my dash. But I'm hidden, they can't see me.

0:50:19 Brennan: Oh, yeah. And actually, you know what, you have this like, rogue guys, I will let you move through your own friendly unit here.

0:50:25 Siobhan: Great.

0:50:25 Brennan: On a nat 20, you can move through your own unit. Okay, so that's a move and a dash. Yeah, your guys just appear through here and are now...

0:50:35 Siobhan: Great. But invisible to all of those bad guys.

0:50:39 Brennan: Yes, correct.

0:50:39 Siobhan: Great. Do I still have an action, or is that my whole-

0:50:46 Brennan: That's a dash and a bonus action dash. So you have an action.

0:50:50 Siobhan: Okay. Hmm. I guess then I'll attack the cavalry to the left of the- The closest to you.

0:51:00 Brennan: These guys right here?

0:51:00 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:51:00 Brennan: Cool, go for it.

0:51:02 Murph: They're already a little hurt, I think.

0:51:03 Brennan: They're already a little hurt, go ahead and roll with advantage.

0:51:05 Siobhan: Oh, yeah, baby. That's 23.

0:51:09 Brennan: That is a casualty.

0:51:09 Ally: Does that bring them to morale checks?

0:51:09 Siobhan: And do I get stealth attack? 'Cause I'm hidden.

0:51:16 Brennan: You can't, because these things don't really have hit points, you're not really adding your Sneak Attack to this.

0:51:22 Siobhan: Okay. I can't kill two of them at once?

0:51:25 Brennan: I will say, go ahead and give me a DC 20 Acrobatics check.

0:51:31 Siobhan: I make it.

0:51:31 Brennan: You inflict two casualties, and that means I'm going to roll a morale check for their last one. These guys get a plus- They get a plus 6. They gotta get a 9 or higher. That's a 19. You inflict two casualties, the last of the cavalry are still there. You just appear out of the fuckin' night, slitting throats, killing their Vegetanian steeds, moving through them. That's going to be Jawbreaker. We zoom out as Grissini's dead, Jawbreaker's gonna rejoin his forces here. Those Ceresians are flanked. Go ahead and give me an attack with advantage against the Ceresian elite.

0:52:23 Lou: 14 plus whatever.

0:52:23 Brennan: That is a success. He's going to inflict a casualty, they're at half health now. Jawbreaker infantry over here moves in. Go ahead and give me another attack with advantage.

0:52:30 Emily: Ooh.

0:52:38 Lou: 15 plus whatever.

0:52:42 Brennan: That is another casualty. They make a morale check. They only get a plus 4. That is a natural 8. They inflict another casualty. There are only a few stragglers left in Grissini's forces. Jawbreaker, Jawbreaker, Jawbreaker archers right here.

0:53:02 Ally: Oh yeah, can I roll for them?

0:53:02 Brennan: Yeah, go ahead and roll for them. Who do you want them to attack?

0:53:06 Ally: I think maybe that group that just has one left.

0:53:09 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

0:53:09 Ally: Do they get advantage on that?

0:53:09 Brennan: They get advantage, yeah.

0:53:15 Ally: Ooh. [the die clatters into a weird part of the set] Can I reroll?

0:53:18 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

0:53:19 Ally: Hey!

0:53:21 Zac: What a wild reroll.

0:53:21 Ally: Yeah. [Emily laughs]

0:53:21 Brennan: You watch- As Grissini dies, Amethar, you stand up like Excalibur, pulling Payment Day from the soil of Candia. By the time you're done standing, all of the Ceresian soldiers of that unit are dead. And standing on the top of this hill is the most massive force of Candian soldiers that have fought in front of Castle Candia in a generation. Jawbreaker cavalry can still go.

0:53:43 Siobhan: Oh. Then they go for this infantry right in front.

0:53:46 Brennan: Give it some flanking with Theo? Yeah. Right through here. Go ahead, I'm gonna say Theo, give them an attack.

0:53:53 Murph: Sweet.

0:53:53 Brennan: Roll plus 8 there.

0:53:56 Siobhan: With advantage, 'cause they're flanked.

0:53:56 Brennan: 'Cause they're flanked, yeah.

0:53:56 Murph: Sweet, that's a 23.

0:54:00 Brennan: 23 is a hit. Veg infantry, that's another casualty on them. That's going to be… Yeah, you see, you as one man are providing flanking for an entire unit of infantry. [grunts] As Jawbreaker, big horned sheep, [grunting]. Huge glowing candy axes slice through them. That's going to be Ceresians. [tense music] These archers are gonna fall back, take shots right here. That is a hit. Jawbreaker's unit suffers another casualty. And Jawbreaker's gonna take some damage as well. Jawbreaker's not looking so… Joren is not looking good. These guys are gonna come here as well, take an attack. That is a hit. You see Joren stands up,

0:55:15 Joren: Come on, to the castle!

0:55:18 Brennan: And gets gored across the back by a Ceresian lance. He's still standing, but he is looking very injured. Ceresian, Ceresian, Ceresian. These Ceresian archers are going to fire at Cinnamon.

0:55:24 Zac: Did they not already fire?

0:55:28 Emily: Yeah, I thought they did.

0:55:29 Siobhan: No, we hit them.

0:55:31 Emily: I think there's lots.

0:55:46 Brennan: No, fruit archers.

0:56:06 Siobhan: There's a lot of archers.

0:56:15 Lou: [Wiggling his eyebrows] There’s… a lot… of archers.

0:56:25 Brennan: One, two… Three… Three hits. Four hits. All right. Wow, okay. 2, 3, 4… 9, 4 is 13, plus 9 is 22, plus 7. 29 points of damage to Cinnamon.

0:56:43 Murph: I'll take one of the hits with a reaction.

0:56:48 Emily: No, don't.

0:56:49 Murph: Well, I have- I take half- I should do it this turn, 'cause I take half damage and a minus 3.

0:56:51 Emily: Okay. Okay.

0:56:53 Murph: I would like Cinnamon to stay at… So what was-

0:56:56 Brennan: Subtract 8 from that. So 21, and you take 4.

0:56:59 Murph: Minus 3.

0:57:07 Brennan: Minus 3, you take 1 point of damage.

0:57:08 Murph: Okay.

0:57:08 Brennan: Jump in the way.

0:57:08 Theo: It was worth it, my Queen.

0:57:08 Emily: Okay, so it's 21, you said?

0:57:08 Brennan: 21. What's Cinnamon at right now?

0:57:12 Emily: Hold on. 88.

0:57:12 Brennan: Okay. That's going to be-

0:57:18 Zac: Honestly a lot more health than I thought he had.

0:57:19 Ally: Yeah, same.

0:57:21 Zac: I was like, oh, he's got like 10.

0:57:23 Murph: Yeah, but he's gonna get hit more.

0:57:23 Zac: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's gonna...

0:57:24 Emily: He's going to get hit every round.

0:57:25 Brennan: Cumulous, that's you.

0:57:25 Zac: Cumulous, with my unit, do I ignore difficult terrain, because I do?

0:57:32 Brennan: Yes, you do.

0:57:32 Zac: I would love to just… I- With a dash I could go 100, bonus action-

0:57:41 Brennan: Which is four inches, yeah.

0:57:41 Zac: And see how close I can get. I would try to get here, if I could.

0:57:46 Brennan: You're just going straight to the fuckin' trees?

0:57:47 Zac: Yeah.

0:57:47 Brennan: Hell yeah, hold on.

0:57:50 Zac: Can they jump like me?

0:57:50 Brennan: Yeah. [Emily laughing] You're crossing the river. That's just a- That’s a move, wait, is that, yeah. So that's a move and a dash action. Any bonus action stuff?

0:57:57 Zac: Bonus action dash?

0:58:03 Brennan: Yeah, you can do Step of the Wind, go for it.

0:58:07 Zac: Step of the Wind.

0:58:07 Brennan: Yeah, throw a ki point on there?

0:58:09 Lou: Throw a damn ki point on there.

0:58:09 Zac: And just get in the mix over here.

0:58:13 Brennan: Cool. Two inches means we're gonna clear this haystack. You guys just plow through that haystack and stuff.

0:58:17 Lou: Oh, the mysterious haystack.

0:58:19 Siobhan: What’s in there?

0:58:20 Brennan: So this is as far as you can get right now.

0:58:21 Ally: Can we investigate that haystack?

0:58:21 Siobhan: It moved on its own, it's weird. Must be magic.

0:58:29 Brennan: That's gonna be Saccharina and Cinnamon.

0:58:31 Emily: Okay.

0:58:32 Ally: Nat 1.

0:58:33 Lou: On the Investigation check?

0:58:34 Ally: Haystack is my dad.

0:58:34 Emily: Okay.

0:58:36 Lou: Stacky stock.

0:58:39 Emily: I am going to, as much as I want to spitefully, you know what, they're so many people I spitefully wanna hit. So I'm just going to, Cinnamon's actually gonna take a disengage. Can I do Cone of Cold on this without hitting any allies?

0:58:54 Brennan: Yeah.

0:58:54 Emily: Okay. Cinnamon's gonna take a disengage for his action.

0:58:58 Brennan: Cool.

0:58:58 Emily: And then I'm gonna Cone of Cold these people.

0:59:01 Brennan: Cool.

0:59:05 Siobhan: Wouldn't he also get an attack still, 'cause he has two actions, 'cause he has-

0:59:06 Emily: Yeah, yeah, and then, but I think we're gonna retreat.

0:59:08 Murph: If you go on Cumulous's side, you won't get shot as many times.

0:59:11 Emily: Hmm?

0:59:14 Murph: Oh, I thought you were going over there. I'm confused.

0:59:17 Emily: No, I'm just coming here to do a Cone of Cold.

0:59:20 Brennan: Cool. Cinnamon is, oop, sorry, oh Liam. Brennan moves Cinnamon’s mini, knocking over Liam in the process.

0:59:24 Lou: Liam.

0:59:29 Ally: Liam. Liam's hidden. I can put Liam over here.

0:59:29 Brennan: Yeah, hold on. Okay. So I'm actually going to- That can stay there, and I'm gonna get a little stand. 'Cause the way that you can have Cone of Cold not hit anybody, I think, is to be slightly airborne.

0:59:45 Emily: Okay, yeah.

0:59:45 Brennan: Mm-hmm. You are up here. Go ahead and hit 'em with the Cone of Cold.

0:59:50 Emily: All right.

0:59:54 Lou: You need those eights, or those sixes?

0:59:57 Emily: Yeah, eights. I got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven eight. Okay, I'm good.

1:00:05 Lou: That's mine.

1:00:05 Siobhan: Real mixed messages from my dice.

1:00:09 Lou: It's better with you. You might need it. You're a better dad. [Zac laughs]

1:00:09 Emily: 17 plus 12. 29!

1:00:18 Brennan: Whew, okay. How much, it's 60 feet?

1:00:18 Emily: Mm-hmm.

1:00:24 Siobhan: Bye-bye.

1:00:24 Murph: Whoa.

1:00:24 Brennan: Okay. This- And it's Constitution, right?

1:00:31 Emily: It is, I believe it's Dex.

1:00:34 Brennan: I think it's Constitution. Plus 2.

1:00:38 Emily: Cone of Cold, Constitution saving throw, yeah.

1:00:38 Brennan: These guys need to hit a 15 or higher on the die to only take four casualties. [tense music]

1:00:47 Murph: Whoa! [laughs]

1:00:52 Siobhan: Bye-bye.

1:00:54 Murph: What'd you roll?

1:00:56 Brennan: That's a natural 5.

1:00:56 Emily: Yes!

1:00:56 Ally: Yeah!

1:00:56 Brennan: Theo, as you face the entire Vegetanian infantry, you hear the beating of wings. Saccharina, what do you say as your eyes glow with brilliant ice cream light?

1:01:03 Emily: [laughing] Oh god.

1:01:10 Saccharina: Ice to meet you. [cast laughs]

1:01:16 Brennan: Probably fif- You know, near 100 Vegetanian soldiers are frozen and killed in an instant as terrible Candian magics do their work, frozen solidly in place.

1:01:35 Emily: And my baby still has an action, Cinnamon still has an action, so I wanna use like double speed to get back to the safety of here.

1:01:48 Brennan: So he can go a full 160, which is-

1:01:48 Emily: Well, if his speed is double, can't he do a dash? He can do a dash.

1:01:54 Brennan: He already moved a little bit to get there, to get in position.

1:01:57 Emily: Then yeah, then I guess he is just moving.

1:01:59 Brennan: So he has six inches. So he can get to about there.

1:02:00 Emily: He can get to about there? Okay, I think what he's gonna do is he's gonna go low.

1:02:06 Brennan: Okay.

1:02:08 Emily: So that, to get cover from this.

1:02:08 Brennan: From the ballistas? So the archers may still be able to hit him, but the ballistas will not.

1:02:14 Emily: Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:14 Brennan: Okay. Oh no. Okay. Gotta get a little blue tack here. Ooh, there's a lot going on. Cool. He gets right about here. Awesome. That is- The archers will be able to fire on him.

1:02:36 Emily: I know. But I'd rather them than the ballistas.

1:02:39 Brennan: Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, can these guys get him? No, so the fruit don't have line of sight. [tense music as Brennan rolls several times]

1:02:53 Emily: Oh, and also, can I roll to recharge his breath weapon?

1:03:08 Brennan: Yeah, give me a roll, 5 or 6.

1:03:11 Murph and Emily: Yes!

1:03:11 Brennan: Cool.

1:03:11 Siobhan: What'd you get?

1:03:11 Emily: 6.

1:03:11 Brennan: In the middle of Jawbreaker's units, Joren Jawbreaker looks at you and says,

1:03:24 Joren: To the castle!

1:03:26 Brennan: [grunts] An arrow goes through his throat and Joren falls to the ground.

1:03:33 Ally: Fuck.

1:03:36 Siobhan: Fuck. [tense music]

1:03:40 Brennan: About half of his infantry has been killed, his units have sustained some heavy casualties, and the Fructeran archers from the wall open fire on him. That is going to be the ballista that- these guys are gonna go. This ballista over here. Can't hit anything. Joren's unit is looking very bad, and he falls, incapacitated. That's gonna go to the top, Liam, that's you.

1:04:00 Ally: Okay.

1:04:20 Zac: You got the carrot, right?

1:04:20 Ally: Yeah. I'm hidden right now, right?

1:04:24 Brennan: Yeah.

1:04:29 Ally: So I'm just gonna attack from far away to attack that frozen infantry.

1:04:36 Brennan: They're dead. They're solid blocks of ice.

1:04:38 Ally: Oh. Oh, okay, cool.

1:04:38 Siobhan: Kill the carrot!

1:04:38 Murph: The carrot is gonna kill me.

1:04:42 Siobhan: Fuckin' kill the carrot.

1:04:42 Murph: I can't do damage.

1:04:43 Ally: Oh, right.

1:04:44 Emily: Oh, I didn't think I was leaving you there with the carrot.

1:04:47 Murph: Oh yeah.

1:04:47 Ally: All right, great.

1:04:48 Murph: No, it's fine.

1:04:48 Ally: Then I'm going to appear, you know, like in a surprise and attack the carrot.

1:04:55 Brennan: Yeah, you have advantage, go for it.

1:04:57 Ally: I would like to crit. Oh, come on! That's 18?

1:05:03 Brennan: 18 does not hit.

1:05:03 Ally: Oh, dang. Okay, cool.

1:05:05 Zac: You've got Hunter's Mark, right?

1:05:06 Siobhan: You've got Hunter's Mark, yeah.

1:05:06 Brennan: You have Hunter's Mark, but you still don't hit. Roll your second attack.

1:05:09 Murph: Jesus.

1:05:11 Ally: Hey, 21.

1:05:11 Brennan: 21 hits.

1:05:11 Ally: Okay, cool. So I am going to cast Hail of Thorns again.

1:05:21 Brennan: Cool.

1:05:21 Ally: So that is this, so that's 3d10, 2d6. The 2d6 are the sneak attack, 2d10 Hail for Thorns, 1d10 my normal ranged.

1:05:28 Brennan: Perfect, yeah.

1:05:28 Emily: Did you feel betrayed by, I was trying to get-

1:05:33 Murph: Oh, no no no, I'm good, I just need Liam to help me with the carrot.

1:05:37 Ally: [whistles] All right. 10, 19, 23 Plus, 27.

1:05:50 Brennan: You fire an arrow deep into his armor and he screams out and says,

1:05:55 Keradin: Bulb! Bulb above, guide my mace!

1:05:59 Brennan: He's lookin' scared.

1:05:59 Lou: Scurred.

1:05:59 Brennan: Scurred.

1:05:59 Ally: And then I'm going to just use a Cunning Action, like bonus action, to like hide again.

1:06:13 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it. Give me a Stealth check.

1:06:17 Ally: Yeah. 21

1:06:17 Brennan: 21? Okay. That's going to be Theo.

1:06:24 Murph: Sweet. I'm going to use… Once again, cantrip Blade Ward, give myself resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing, then I'm going to use War Magic to do a bonus action attack on Keradin.

1:06:37 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it.

1:06:37 Murph: And I have Princess's help. That is a 21.

1:06:43 Brennan: That hits.

1:06:43 Murph: Sweet. That's a big 10 damage.

1:06:48 Ally: Hey!

1:06:53 Brennan: Hey. Yeah, you square up, clank! As the people that you were holding off, an entire unit of people, turn around, knight versus knight, Sir Theo versus Sir Keradin. [Grunting] The Battlepop strikes him across his carrot head, and you engage in mortal combat. Give me- What are the Knights of North-Gumbia up to?

1:07:12 Murph: Ooh. Okay, so they're, ooh, so we got frozen guys up there. I think the Knights of North Gumbia-

1:07:18 Siobhan: This cavalry only has one left. The one that's-

1:07:21 Brennan: Well, that one has only one left.

1:07:23 Murph: Okay, let's go after the one with one.

1:07:23 Brennan: Go for it.

1:07:26 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:07:26 Murph: I think they haven't hit yet.

1:07:28 Brennan: They can actually move into position on the other side and get flanking.

1:07:31 Murph: Oh, great, okay. Let's try some new dice. Oh. um 22 to hit.

1:07:34 Brennan: The Knights of North Gumbia, seeing their champion, strike Sir Keradin and go, you see the one guy says,

1:07:50 Lime Gummy Knight: All right, look here, you bears. I've had enough of this fiddle-faddle, let's get down to the work of the thing. Charge!

1:07:52 Brennan: [boinging gummy bear running noises] And this dumbass piece of kale gets fuckin' merked by 20 gummy bears. Destroyed.

1:07:56 Theo: Hell yes, Limey, get rid of that fiddle-faddle!

1:07:58 Lime Gummy Knight: Enough!

1:07:59 Theo: Like I know you do.

1:08:00 Lime Gummy Knight: Enough of the fiddle-faddle, sir.

1:08:00 Theo: They hate us 'cause they ain't us!

1:08:00 Lime Gummy Knight: They hate us [pulls his sword] 'cause they ain't us!

1:08:00 Brennan: That is the Knights of North-Gumbia. That is going to be… Bum ba ba. Amethar, that's you.

1:08:24 Lou: Great, we'll push on the cavalry there.

1:08:27 Brennan: Okay.

1:08:27 Lou: Yeah.

1:08:27 Brennan: All right.

1:08:34 Lou: [hums] 13 plus whatever.

1:08:34 Brennan: 13 plus whatever. Go ahead and roll advantage.

1:08:38 Lou: Oh, great.

1:08:44 Lou: [hums] 13 plus whatever.

1:08:44 Brennan: 13 plus 4, 17, that does not hit. Go ahead with the rest of your troops.

1:08:50 Lou: Yeah, these guys'll push up behind us.

1:08:52 Brennan: Cool.

1:08:52 Lou: Also advantage still?

1:08:52 Brennan: Yes, correct.

1:08:56 Lou: Alright. 19 plus…

1:08:59 Brennan: That is a casualty on the Ceresian, ba ba.

1:09:03 Zac: Can these archers move up as far as they can?

1:09:05 Emily: Oh yeah.

1:09:07 Murph: Oh yeah. [Murph laughs]

1:09:07 Theo: Come on, guys!

1:09:08 Cumulous: They are slow as fuck.

1:09:08 Brennan: Oh, you already moved it, cool. Yeah, wait up! Cool. They inflict-

1:09:08 Siobhan: Can they hit anybody with disadvantage?

1:09:22 Zac: That might be their full dash.

1:09:24 Siobhan: Oh, right. [Emily laughing]

1:09:24 Brennan: Your archers inflict a casualty on the archers there. Rocks, Rocks, Rocks. As the ram is good where it's at?

1:09:29 Ally: Let's move it up.

1:09:35 Lou: Yeah. I mean, yeah, as much as it can.

1:09:37 Ally: Can we move it through our people to the-

1:09:39 Brennan: Yeah, you can move it like through here. Cool. That's going to be, that's Rocks. That's going to be Keradin and the Vegetanians. To the degree that they are even still there.

1:09:49 Ally: Fuck, sorry Theo.

1:09:55 Murph: Oh, it's fine.

1:10:00 Brennan: Vegetanians there. Those are all dead and frozen. Cavalry. Cavalry, what are they gonna do? Cavalry's gonna go here for the other- For this infantry unit. They hit by quite a bit.

1:10:21 Siobhan: The one with the good butt.

1:10:32 Lou: He's back.

1:10:43 Siobhan: This one's a real flat-ass, this one.

1:10:47 Brennan: Ruby, you take 31 points of damage.

1:10:50 Siobhan: Uncanny Dodge.

1:10:50 Brennan: You take 15 points of damage.

1:10:52 Siobhan: Great.

1:10:54 Brennan: As the cavalry, [grunts] start to cut through. How many is Ruby at?

1:10:58 Siobhan: I'm at 55.

1:10:58 Brennan: Cavalry rush through. That's gonna be these… Two...

1:11:02 Murph: I'm gonna cast- Are these guys attacking me?

1:11:19 Brennan: Yeah.

1:11:20 Murph: And they hit?

1:11:20 Brennan: They hit.

1:11:20 Murph: I'm gonna cast Shield.

1:11:20 Brennan: [laughs] Shield goes up. [Emily laughing] Well, nobody fuckin' hits, Murph, I don't know what you want me to say. 21, 26. Well Keradin can still hit.

1:11:32 Murph: Okay.

1:11:32 Brennan: Two 5s and a 4, he fuckin' doesn't, though.

1:11:35 Multiple: Wow!

1:11:38 Brennan: You are just standing in the middle, all the paladins of the Bulbian Church surround you.

1:11:45 Theo: This is what I do, I could do this all day. [metal clanging]

1:11:48 Murph: Just so sweaty and...

1:11:48 Brennan: You're just swallowing hits.

1:11:48 Murph: Swinging so slowly back at them. Like Mr. Burns boxing, just like barely hitting them.

1:11:58 Zac: One of those old man fights?

1:12:03 Murph: Yeah.

1:12:03 Brennan: Incredible. These guys are gonna go up here. These guys, yeah, these guys are actually going to be in this tower. These guys are going to fire down at Cinnamon.

1:12:17 Ally: Cinnamon!

1:12:32 Lou: Shinnamon. [ominous music]

1:12:48 Brennan: [sighs] Okay. One. Two, three… Five… Plus 8, 5, 11, 19 plus 8. 27 damage to Cinnamon from crossbow archers firing down on him. What is Cinnamon at right now?

1:12:57 Emily: Cinnamon is at 61.

1:13:02 Brennan: That's the trebuchet.

1:13:02 Lou: Great.

1:13:02 Ally: Come on.

1:13:02 Lou: 4. What is it, plus-

1:13:14 Brennan: Plus 5.

1:13:14 Lou: 15?

1:13:14 Brennan: 15 hits.

1:13:14 Lou: Great, we'll go for the archers on top of the gatehouse.

1:13:18 Brennan: Yep.

1:13:22 Lou: And then 15 again.

1:13:22 Murph: Nice.

1:13:22 Emily: Beautiful.

1:13:22 Brennan: They make a morale check. They fail.

1:13:24 Ally: Yes! [crowd cheering]

1:13:26 Brennan: Two more casualties. They are one away from death, they're almost gone.

1:13:29 Murph: Hell yes.

1:13:31 Emily: Don't we have another trebuchet?

1:13:32 Lou: No, it's all three.

1:13:33 Brennan: That's going to be- You guys can feel, as the hill swarms with Candians, Joren falls, there's chaos, you are losing a lot of people, but you feel the momentum of the push behind you heading towards the castle. That's going to be Ruby, that's you.

1:13:55 Siobhan: How many of these cavalry are left, these Vegetanian cavalry?

1:14:03 Brennan: Those cavalry have been… The other one got swallowed. These ones I think are uninjured. I think these ones are fresh.

1:14:10 Siobhan: Okay. Hmm. What I would like to do is disengage, hide, move.

1:14:17 Brennan: Okay.

1:14:17 Siobhan: Towards the castle.

1:14:17 Brennan: Gotcha. Yep.

1:14:21 Siobhan: Or actually, I'll hide first, just to make sure that I can.

1:14:27 Brennan: Yeah, give me a Stealth check.

1:14:29 Siobhan: Ooh, that is a nat 1.

1:14:29 Brennan: Okay, you do not hide.

1:14:29 Siobhan: Can I use my second action to hide, then?

1:14:33 Brennan: Yes, you can.

1:14:38 Siobhan: That I do, that's a 20. And then I'll-

1:14:44 Brennan: So you can fall in basically behind the Knights of North Gumbia here.

1:14:46 Siobhan: Great.

1:14:47 Brennan: Cool. Fall in, heading for the castle. That's going to be Jawbreaker.

1:14:52 Amethar: For your King! Fight for your King!

1:14:59 Brennan: Gonna roll a death save for Joren Jawbreaker. [tense music] That's a 4, that's a failure. [cast sighing]

1:15:06 Ally: Fuck!

1:15:12 Zac: Could his troops give a Medicine check? About 40 Medicine checks in there?

1:15:15 Brennan: Okay, what are we having these guys do here?

1:15:21 Lou: Archers.

1:15:22 Brennan: Archers?

1:15:23 Lou: Actually, yeah, no, they're the weakest, right?

1:15:26 Brennan: Yeah, they're the weakest.

1:15:26 Lou: Cavalry.

1:15:26 Brennan: Cavalry, okay. Go ahead and give me a roll, they are flanking, so you get advantage.

1:15:31 Lou: Oh, 15 plus whatever.

1:15:31 Brennan: That's a hit.

1:15:36 Murph: Nice.

1:15:40 Brennan: That is a casualty. Or sorry, oh, they've already sustained a casualty, hold on.

1:15:42 Zac: So they're at two?

1:15:45 Brennan: That’s- Yeah, they had two. Go ahead and, okay, that's the infantry there. And these guys can actually even-

1:15:53 Lou: Can they, yeah.

1:15:53 Brennan: Move here, and these guys can step in to attack as well.

1:15:58 Lou: Great.

1:15:58 Siobhan: Great.

1:15:58 Brennan: Go for it.

1:15:58 Lou: 16 plus whatever.

1:16:03 Brennan: That is another casualty, they have to make a morale check. That's a natural 2. This cavalry is wiped off of the battlefield. [crowd cheering] You see that Joren is like attended to, people rush to Joren's side, and his troops go,

1:16:10 Jawbreaker Troops: For Jawbreaker!

1:16:17 Brennan: And just slaughter through the Ceresian cavalry. That's going to be Jawbreaker, that's both the infantry. Jawbreaker crossbow right here can- Go for it.

1:16:30 Ally: Hell yeah. We're gonna go for that cavalry.

1:16:32 Brennan: 'Cause that's just a straight attack, no advantage here.

1:16:33 Ally: Oh, okay. Ah, 8, so 13.

1:16:33 Brennan: Ping-ping-ping, off of the armor. That's going to be, that's Jawbreaker infantry. And then this Jawbreaker cavalry right here.

1:16:46 Siobhan: Also going for the cavalry.

1:16:47 Brennan: Cool, yeah.

1:16:47 Siobhan: Aren't those guys left?

1:16:48 Brennan: That's right. Go ahead and I'll say Liam, go ahead and give me a roll for that cavalry.

1:16:57 Ally: Just flat?

1:16:58 Brennan: Flat.

1:16:58 Ally: Mm, 15.

1:16:58 Brennan: 19 is a hit, that is-

1:17:04 Ally: Oh, 15.

1:17:04 Brennan: Oh, no, cavalry's plus 8.

1:17:04 Ally: Oh, hell yeah, 19.

1:17:04 Brennan: So that's Veg cavalry. Their first casualty. That's going to move to be Ceresians.

1:17:20 Ally: Is Ciabatta dead?

1:17:20 Lou: Haven't seen him.

1:17:20 Siobhan: No, no, no.

1:17:20 Lou: [singing] No, no, no

1:17:20 Ally: Are they running away?

1:17:20 Siobhan: They're archers, they wanna move to-

1:17:20 Brennan: They get the fuck outta there. Other Ceresians, other Ceresians. These guys right here are going to fire at Cinnamon.

1:17:41 Zac: That's the group that only has one left.

1:17:45 Brennan: Yeah. They don't have too much left. [tense music]

1:17:59 Brennan: [sighs] One. Two, and a three, and a crit. So 5d8 plus 8. 11, 11 is 22, 27 plus 8 is 35 damage to Cinnamon. Cumulous, that's you.

1:18:14 Zac: Okay, Cumulous is going to… Can he jump to here? His squad?

1:18:29 Brennan: Just fuckin' run? Oh.

1:18:29 Siobhan: He has a 60 jump.

1:18:29 Zac: With a- With his Step of the Wind.

1:18:37 Brennan: Ooh, Step of the Wind. So your movement's 50, which is two inches. Another move, that's four, so you can move six, with Step of the Wind, you can move a full six inches, with no difficult terrain. So you can absolutely move through-

1:18:47 Zac: Oh. Does that use my attack, though?

1:18:49 Brennan: That would use your attack, yeah. So you can go four inches and keep your attack.

1:18:53 Zac: If I can go, is it four inches to here? Or is that further?

1:18:56 Brennan: That's four inches, yeah.

1:18:59 Zac: Okay, so if I get right here, can I flank these dudes?

1:19:00 Brennan: Yes, you can.

1:19:03 Zac: Okay.

1:19:05 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:19:05 Zac: This whole squad's gonna fly across.

1:19:08 Brennan: Yeah. This is not even here anymore. Yeah, 'cause this ran away, and Liam's off somewhere else. I'll just hold you right over here. So, yeah. I'm gonna say that your unit closes with the rest of these Bulbians, and Cumulous, you fuckin' appear right next to Theobald. Bam.

1:19:25 Theo: It's good to see you.

1:19:27 Cumulous: Hello.

1:19:31 Brennan: [laughs] Go ahead and- Are you de-coupling from your unit, or are you staying with your unit?

1:19:35 Zac: Well, I was thinking that a whole unit could, I mean, hmm.

1:19:37 Brennan: 'Cause you can attack Keradin personally, and then your unit can attack, or your unit can like use your stats if you wanna stay with your unit.

1:19:48 Zac: I wanna stay with my unit, kind of, just because of-

1:19:50 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:19:52 Zac: Shenanigansy thing.

1:19:52 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it.

1:19:52 Zac: And then, am I flanking that fight? Or is there anyone in there?

1:19:57 Brennan: I'm gonna say no one's flanking, 'cause it's just, yeah.

1:20:01 Zac: Okay. So I'm just taking a regular attack.

1:20:03 Brennan: Taking a regular attack against them.

1:20:05 Zac: 19.

1:20:05 Brennan: Oh, damn.

1:20:05 Zac: Plus whatever.

1:20:09 Brennan: So that's gonna be, these are the church people, right?

1:20:11 Siobhan: Mm-hmm.

1:20:13 Brennan: And I said half of them were gone?

1:20:15 Zac: Yeah.

1:20:17 Siobhan: Mm-hmm.

1:20:20 Brennan: So that's one, two, three, they're gonna roll a morale check. Which they fail.

1:20:25 Murph: Yo.

1:20:30 Brennan: There's only stragglers left, I'm gonna say this guy fuckin' dies. That, yeah. You, Saccharina, you see behind you your marauders and the Order of the Spinning Star, [grunts]. You see Swifty leap up and wrap his legs around a paladin's throat, and just take two daggers and go like,

1:20:40 Swifty: La la la la!

1:20:51 Brennan: Stabbing his fuckin' eyes out. Gooey splits someone like crotch to neck through the front. [Grunts] And Cumulous, you were-

1:20:58 Zac: As a group attack, yeah.

1:20:58 Brennan: As a group attack, cool. Awesome. You actually can- Unless you're gonna use stunning or give them advantage or whatever, you can also decouple this turn and get your own attacks, if you want.

1:21:12 Zac: I would like to stay with them just for a different reason.

1:21:17 Brennan: Cool. Cool, you got it. That's gonna be Saccharina.

1:21:20 Emily: Okay. I am going to do a fifth level Cure Wounds on my baby.

1:21:25 Brennan: Cool.

1:21:32 Emily: Two. Three. Four.

1:21:36 Siobhan: There's one here.

1:21:40 Emily: Cinnamon! That's pretty good. Okay, I'll stay with that. 14, 28, 29, 30 plus my spellcaster-

1:21:44 Murph: Plus 5, probably. What's your Wisdom?

1:21:47 Emily: 39.

1:21:49 Brennan: 39, hell yeah. You powerfully heal Cinnamon.

1:21:58 Emily: Okay. So 39. I still don't like where that leaves us. And then Cinnamon's gonna take his move to go into that.

1:22:07 Brennan: Cool.

1:22:07 Emily: And attack that ballista.

1:22:10 Brennan: Go for it.

1:22:12 Saccharina: All right, baby, feelin' better? Let's go for this.

1:22:15 Emily: Does a 16 hit?

1:22:15 Brennan: Yes it does.

1:22:15 Emily: Yeah baby!

1:22:19 Zac: That one's already been fucked up, right?

1:22:21 Brennan: Oh, actually this one's on death's door, it's done, it's toast.

1:22:22 Emily: Sweet!

1:22:22 Brennan: Yeah. And Cinnamon crouches down in the tower there.

1:22:27 Emily: And then I guess, you know what? With Haste, he's gonna come into here, where he has-

1:22:32 Brennan: Even more protection?

1:22:32 Emily: Yeah.

1:22:32 Brennan: Just leaps in, smashes that ballista, and leaps up into the taller tower. That's Saccharina and Cinnamon. These Fructeran archers are gonna fire on the Jawbreaker units. That is a hit. [tense music] They make their morale save. That's going to be, with the ballista, they're gonna fire on the Jawbreaker units. That's a hit. The ballista and arrows slaughter this unit.

1:23:15 Emily: Wait, that was-

1:23:15 Brennan: That was Jawbreaker.

1:23:15 Murph: That was Joren’s unit.

1:23:15 Emily: Oh, god dammit, I thought that was Fructeran.

1:23:15 Brennan: That's going to be Liam.

1:23:21 Ally: I appear again behind Keradin Deeproot. I say- [Emily laughing]

1:23:32 Murph: And for a brief second, Theo thinks there's two Keradins.

1:23:32 Theo: Oh no!

1:23:32 Ally: I say,

1:23:34 Liam: [low, raspy voice] You are a pawn. You only see control and fear. You follow the Pontifex. You are not ordained. Everything you believe is fake!

1:23:52 Ally: And I hold up my bow, and I attack with advantage.

1:23:55 Murph: Nice!

1:23:57 Ally: And I get a 27 to hit.

1:24:00 Brennan: That is a hit.

1:24:03 Ally: And then I- Okay, so that'll be sneak attack. My normal attack, I'm gonna cast Hail of Thorns again.

1:24:06 Murph: Hunter's Mark.

1:24:09 Ally: And I'm gonna do, oh, and Hunter's Mark.

1:24:12 Brennan: Do you have more second-level spells left or no?

1:24:15 Ally: Yeah.

1:24:15 Brennan: Cool, great.

1:24:15 Ally: And then this is my second attack, which I'll do Bursting Arrow on.

1:24:19 Brennan: Oh, you've already used Bursting Arrow, so you can't use it again.

1:24:22 Ally: Oh, you only use it once?

1:24:22 Brennan: Only use it once.

1:24:23 Siobhan: Per short rest.

1:24:24 Ally: Good to know. Okay. That's a 21 to hit.

1:24:27 Brennan: 21 hits.

1:24:27 Ally: Okay, cool. So then that's just a normal-

1:24:28 Brennan: D10.

1:24:29 Ally: Yes, d10. Right?

1:24:31 Brennan: Yep.

1:24:32 Murph: Does Hunter's Mark go every time, or just once?

1:24:35 Brennan: Oh, it goes every time, so one more d6. So go ahead and roll that plus 12.

1:24:40 Ally: 10.

1:24:43 Brennan: Or plus 14.

1:24:45 Ally: 18… Let's see. 26, 29, 30, 42 plus 12 you said?

1:24:57 Brennan: 42 plus 14.

1:25:03 Ally: 42 plus 14, cool. 46, 56.

1:25:03 Brennan: Not even seeing you, but just hearing your words, you hear Keradin say,

1:25:17 Keradin: [gasps] No, no, no, it's not true. I'm scared.

1:25:17 Brennan: [mimics being shot through] Ignominiously having lived a life of lies. [Emily laughing]

1:25:28 Brennan: You feel, as you swore you would feel, the deep, primal satisfaction. After all is said and done, you know what you are.

1:25:43 Ally: I… Can I use a bonus action to hide again, but can I do so with his body?

1:25:52 Brennan: Sure.

1:25:57 Siobhan: Are you going to eat that carrot?

1:25:59 Ally: I grab his body and I hide.

1:26:01 Brennan: Give me a Stealth check.

1:26:01 Emily: [laughing] Just hiding with a body.

1:26:01 Ally: Let's see, that's plus 12, 19?

1:26:01 Lou: I don’t like wherever this is going.

1:26:01 Brennan: 19. Yeah, Keradin Deeproot picks his dead body up and walks away.

1:26:15 Zac: I feel like Cumulous—

1:26:15 Brennan: Cumulous is a creepy dude.

1:26:19 Cumulous: Wow.

1:26:21 Murph: There's two Keradins. [Brennan laughing]

1:26:23 Emily: Wait- Does Theo think that the real Keradin won or lost?

1:26:26 Murph: I saw Liam turn into Keradin, so I know what's going on, but I do like double-check every once in a while to make sure that's not the real Keradin.

1:26:32 Zac: Do they make a morale check?

1:26:33 Brennan: Oh, yeah, 100%. Let's do that-

1:26:36 Emily: Aren't there only half of them left?

1:26:39 Brennan: Let's do that disadvantage. Oh, there's less than half left of these, yeah. These Vegetanian guys. [tense music]

1:26:45 Emily: Because they got breath weaponed.

1:26:45 Brennan: They do make their morale check, they do not flee. Yeah, they make it. That's going to be… Theo, or yeah, Theo, that's you.

1:27:01 Murph: All right. All right, let's go ahead and do Green Flame Blade.

1:27:05 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:27:09 Murph: Make an attack with-

1:27:09 Brennan: And you're just attacking this unit?

1:27:13 Murph: It's just this one dude, right?

1:27:15 Brennan: Yes, that's correct.

1:27:17 Murph: Okay.

1:27:17 Emily: Wasn't he part of- Wasn’t he part of-

1:27:19 Murph: Oh, there's two dudes, I guess.

1:27:19 Brennan: You know what I'll let you do right now? If you wanna just roll with advantage, I will just let you roll as a one-man unit on this unit, if you would like to.

1:27:27 Murph: Sweet. An absolute unit?

1:27:28 Siobhan: Absolute unit.

1:27:29 Lou: One-man unit.

1:27:29 Murph: Hell yeah. 26.

1:27:34 Brennan: They make a morale. It's a natural 5. As Keradin gets iced and the remaining unburned paladins are there, Theo, you put the battle pop up through this guy's head and start to wade through, bam, crack, pow! These paladins are rent asunder, this unit is off the fuckin' board.

1:27:54 Emily: So that's Cumulous's people, they're frozen. This is our people, right? Our people?

1:27:56 Murph: We go for that gate.

1:27:57 Ally: Yes, let's do it, we got the battering ram.

1:27:58 Brennan: Theo, that's you, what are the Knights of North-Gumbia doing?

1:28:08 Murph: They are going to, you know what? They'll get into position to… They're going to wait for the- They're gonna wait for the battering ram.

1:28:15 Brennan: Cool. They're gonna wait for the battering ram?

1:28:17 Murph: Yeah.

1:28:17 Brennan: Cool.

1:28:17 Murph: And then they'll start charging forward.

1:28:19 Brennan: Hell yeah. They start to move up to the gate. Battering ram's gonna come up after them. That's gonna be... Rum bum bum.

1:28:30 Siobhan: These Vegetanian cavalry can… They're probably pretty scared, right? They're the last ones?

1:28:39 Zac: Did these guys move?

1:28:44 Siobhan: They did, it was such a long time ago, they did.

1:28:46 Zac: Maybe they're about to move? [Emily laughing]

1:28:47 Siobhan: Every round is so long.

1:28:48 Brennan: Amethar, that's you.

1:28:48 Lou: Great.

1:28:49 Siobhan: Now they move.

1:28:49 Lou: Can I leave my group to join this group, telling this group,

1:28:56 Amethar: Go, with Ruby!

1:28:56 Lou: And then I'm gonna take this group, grab Joren, and move on the archers.

1:29:02 Brennan: Hell yeah. This group closes with the archers. Go ahead and roll attack.

1:29:07 Lou: Great. Can we attack recklessly?

1:29:09 Brennan: Yes you can.

1:29:11 Lou: We're dumb like that. Well, wasn't worth it. 7 plus-

1:29:15 Brennan: Gotcha. You close and start attacking the archers. And then that's gonna be the rest of Rocks' units. Your archers move up the hill more.

1:29:23 Lou: Yeah, they'll also attack.

1:29:25 Brennan: Go ahead and make an attack roll for them.

1:29:27 Lou: 10 plus 4 or 5?

1:29:32 Brennan: That hits.

1:29:32 Lou: Great.

1:29:32 Murph: Nice.

1:29:32 Brennan: So that's the Ceresian archers. Those guys right there. One casualty on them. That is- Any other Rocks here?

1:29:39 Zac: Those guys.

1:29:42 Siobhan: Did these archers move?

1:29:44 Brennan: Yeah.

1:29:45 Cumulous: Hurry up, you idiots.

1:29:45 Siobhan: So slow.

1:29:45 Brennan: We're comin'!

1:29:46 Emily: [laughing] They stopped and got lunch.

1:29:46 Zac: It's a beautiful little town.

1:29:46 Ally: Oh, there's one Rocks maybe. Oh, sorry, that's Jawbreaker.

1:29:54 Siobhan: That's Jawbreaker.

1:30:03 Brennan: These guys are going to disengage and sprint this way.

1:30:07 Siobhan: Bye-bye.

1:30:07 Brennan: Bye-bye.

1:30:09 Ally: Interesting.

1:30:11 Zac: Are they going for the cheese?

1:30:11 Murph: They're leaving.

1:30:11 Lou: They might go for the trebuchet.

1:30:11 Brennan: That's going to be trebuchet.

1:30:15 Lou: Great.

1:30:15 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:30:15 Lou: We'll go for that last-

1:30:20 Murph: The archers.

1:30:20 Lou: Yeah.

1:30:23 Emily: Isn't there one more ballista?

1:30:23 Lou: 18?

1:30:23 Zac: 18 and a 20, dude.

1:30:27 Brennan: Ooh. That's the last fuckin' one.

1:30:27 Emily: Woo!

1:30:27 Brennan: Not only that, but this gatehouse comes crumbling down.

1:30:35 Ally: Oh, yeah.

1:30:42 Lou: Then they'll now go for the Fructeran archers.

1:30:42 Brennan: Cool.

1:30:42 Lou: Nope.

1:30:42 Zac: You have one more, right?

1:30:42 Lou: Yeah. And a 9 plus 5?

1:30:54 Brennan: That hits.

1:30:54 Lou: Great.

1:30:54 Brennan: They suffer a casualty. They're at half. That's going to be-

1:31:02 Siobhan: If they're at half, don't they roll for-

1:31:05 Brennan: Well, now they- Now they're gonna start rolling for morale checks. That's the trebuchet. Ruby, that's you.

1:31:12 Siobhan: So I'm hidden, do I have to roll to hide again, or can I use-

1:31:15 Brennan: You're still hidden.

1:31:15 Siobhan: Great, so I would like to do movement, two dashes to get to the wall underneath the Fructeran soldiers.

1:31:25 Brennan: Okay. That's gonna be, so that's what-

1:31:28 Siobhan: So that's 105.

1:31:33 Brennan: Jesus. You close.

1:31:33 Siobhan: Great.

1:31:33 Brennan: You're under the wall.

1:31:36 Siobhan: I'll just hang out there.

1:31:36 Brennan: Cool.

1:31:38 Lou: Chillin'.

1:31:40 Siobhan: I'm chillin'. Invisible.

1:31:43 Brennan: That's Jawbreaker, we're gonna make another death save for Joren.

1:31:44 Zac: Can we give him help in anyway, if you're in his group?

1:31:48 Brennan: If you wanna give me a Medicine check, yeah.

1:31:56 Zac: 12 plus what?

1:31:56 Lou: Your medicine?

1:31:56 Brennan: DC 15.

1:31:58 Lou: Plus 1.

1:31:58 Brennan: Plus 1.

1:31:58 Ally: If I'm his son, do I have any sense of like his spirit?

1:32:01 Brennan: You don’t have-

1:32:04 Zac: You're dressed as a carrot man walking away.

1:32:06 Brennan: 13, that's a success.

1:32:06 Zac: Holding a dead carrot.

1:32:06 Siobhan: He would want you to eat that carrot, instead of saving him. [Emily laughing]

1:32:12 Brennan: Don't save me, fuck the carrot up. That's going to be the… You've taken Jawbreaker's men there. These, what do we want these Jawbreaker cavalry to do?

1:32:29 Murph: Can they move the battering ram up?

1:32:31 Siobhan: Oh yeah.

1:32:31 Brennan: Sure, they can come up behind it.

1:32:33 Zac: We kinda don't need it anymore, do we?

1:32:35 Brennan: There's another gate.

1:32:37 Murph: There's a wall there, yeah.

1:32:37 Brennan: There's an inner wall. Cool. These guys can get up here. If you wanna give them another shot at these archers.

1:32:47 Lou: Okay.

1:32:47 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:32:47 Lou: 15 plus whatever.

1:32:50 Murph: Youch.

1:32:54 Brennan: That's gonna do it. That's going to be… Any there any other Jawbreakers? That is… [sighs] [tense music]

1:33:02 Brennan: Ceresians.

1:33:05 Zac: How many Ceresians are left?

1:33:09 Brennan: The last Ceresian force musters, appears at the front of the wall with Imperator Ciabatta.

1:33:30 Ally: Here we go.

1:33:30 Brennan: They're going to attack this unit of infantry right here.

1:33:34 Siobhan: What, me? No, I'm invisible.

1:33:34 Brennan: Oh, they make a Perception check. They don't see you with Perception check, so they go there and take a dodge action.

1:33:41 Ally: Wait, you're back there, right?

1:33:45 Siobhan: Yeah, I'm hidden.

1:33:45 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:33:45 Murph: No, Ruby's up against the wall.

1:33:49 Brennan: Any other Ceresians out here? All my little guys are dead. It's gonna be-

1:33:56 Lou: The archers?

1:33:56 Brennan: No, the Ceresian archers are all gone. Oh, these archers, yes yes yes, good point.

1:34:02 Lou: If they're attacking us, they have advantage.

1:34:04 Brennan: They do, yeah.

1:34:04 Emily: Can you use that again or just once?

1:34:04 Murph: I think it just adds like 2 AC or something.

1:34:04 Brennan: Jawbreaker.

1:34:04 Ally: Can I see Shield if you have the card real quick?

1:34:04 Brennan: Deliver a casualty, and Amethar, you take… 11, 13, 22, 29, 34 halved to 17 points of damage.

1:34:21 Lou: Okay.

1:34:39 Brennan: That is going to be Cumulous.

1:34:39 Zac: Okay. Changes things a little bit that they're there. I think Cumulous- Can I- With Step of the Wind, could I get here? [Emily laughs]

1:34:58 Brennan: Yeah, 100%, from where you are, yes.

1:35:04 Zac: With my group?

1:35:06 Brennan: [incredulously] With your group?

1:35:06 Zac: 'Cause I can also… I can- I have Unarmored Movement, so I can go up-

1:35:15 Brennan: I'm gonna say your group cannot jump 40 feet in the air.

1:35:16 Zac: Okay. I have a pretty cool staff, but-

1:35:20 Brennan: Actually, you know what? Give me a DC 20 Acrobatics check.

1:35:23 Zac: 19 plus whatever. 28? [Emily laughing]

1:35:26 Ally: "Plus whatever," is gonna be so funny.

1:35:28 Brennan: Burn the fucking ki point, burn the fucking ki point. [Emily laughing]

1:35:28 Siobhan: Ooh, I love to make Brennan mad.

1:35:36 Brennan: Okay. So that's 50 is the movement, with the Step of the Wind that's 100, that gets you to the top of the wall here.

1:35:48 Zac: Okay, and I'm out of-

1:35:51 Brennan: You have one action.

1:35:51 Zac: Okay, I'll attack these archers right in front of me.

1:35:53 Brennan: Go ahead and attack.

1:35:56 Lou: The idea of just watching-

1:35:58 Siobhan: Oh, those ones already got fucked up by a Lightning Bolt.

1:36:00 Brennan: Yes, they did, you're absolutely right, they did, yes yes yes.

1:36:02 Lou: So crazy to watch just an army of monks fly into the air.

1:36:02 Zac: 16 plus whatever my group's attack.

1:36:02 Lou: Straight "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" shit.

1:36:11 Brennan: On a natural 2, you watch as Saccharina's marauders, following the Order's lead, the Order throw spinning ropes of cotton candy light and Cumulous, you are suspended in air, you land and slaughter the Fructeran archers, they are removed from the battlefield.

1:36:24 Emily: Yeah! [clapping]

1:36:30 Zac: That's all of them? Oh.

1:36:36 Brennan: They were already, half of them were dead with a fuckin' Lightning Bolt.

1:36:42 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:36:45 Brennan: They are gone.

1:36:45 Zac: Hell yeah.

1:36:45 Ally: You have- Saccharina's marauders and the Order of the Spinning Star have taken the ramparts. That is going to be… You guys just see Cumulous as a swirl of his spinning staff, dancing along the ramparts. That's going to be Saccharina and Cinnamon.

1:37:01 Emily: Okay. Can I get from here to here with Cinnamon's movement?

1:37:06 Brennan: Yes you can.

1:37:06 Emily: Okay. So we're gonna fly down-

1:37:10 Brennan: So that's 80 once, so 160, yeah, for sure.

1:37:12 Emily: On the way, I'm Cone of Colding from here, from the sky.

1:37:18 Brennan: Awesome, okay.

1:37:18 Emily: Let's see. That's pretty good, I guess I'll… Okay, yeah, I'm just gonna quick. So that's 15, 21… 27.

1:37:18 Ally: [sneezes] Excuse me.

1:37:18 Lou: Bless you.

1:37:18 Emily: Plus 14. 27 plus 14-

1:37:45 Murph: 41.

1:37:45 Emily: 41.

1:37:48 Brennan: With the Cone of Cold?

1:37:48 Emily: Yeah. [Murph laughs]

1:37:48 Emily: Oh, sorry, sorry. [gives Ally their die back]

1:37:48 Ally: Thank you.

1:37:48 Brennan: This- [getting out the Box of Doom] They need to roll a 15, and this is the Cone of Cold, right? 60 feet.

1:38:05 Emily: Yeah.

1:38:05 Brennan: So they need to roll a 15 or higher to not just get fuckin' wasted.

1:38:11 Murph: Yo.

1:38:11 Brennan: [sighing] That's a 7. [Emily laughing victoriously]

1:38:11 Brennan: How much damage is that again?

1:38:20 Murph: 41?

1:38:20 Emily: 41.

1:38:20 Zac: Ciabatta's-

1:38:20 Brennan: Ciabatta is still very much alive.

1:38:28 Emily: Okay. He's very much alive though, he's doing really well?

1:38:37 Brennan: Yes.

1:38:37 Emily: Okay. Then just to fuck with him, I'm gonna fire breathe on him.

1:38:42 Ally: Toast that bread.

1:38:47 Emily: I'm just gonna say, out of character, I don't want to kill him.

1:38:49 Brennan: Gotcha. Go ahead and roll, he's not gonna die from this breath.

1:38:54 Emily: Okay, cool.

1:38:59 Murph: Toast that Ciabatta.

1:38:59 Emily: I need eight more.

1:39:01 Murph: D6's?

1:39:03 Ally: Oh.

1:39:03 Lou: You need more?

1:39:03 Emily: Four, five, six, just two more now. Okay, a lot of ones in there.

1:39:14 Siobhan: A lot of sixes as well.

1:39:17 Emily: Oh, cool. [gasps]

1:39:20 Ally: That's what he looks, that's his face?

1:39:20 Brennan: He was not dressed for battle.

1:39:23 Siobhan: Stupid toga.

1:39:23 Emily: 20.

1:39:23 Ally: Interesting.

1:39:23 Emily: 30.

1:39:23 Zac: It's so funny that I'm just so mad at that thing.

1:39:38 Ally: Yeah, totally.

1:39:38 Emily: 50.

1:39:38 Murph: Yeah. He looks like a chicken nugget.

1:39:41 Ally: He does! He looks like a chicken nugget mascot.

1:39:45 Emily: 57!

1:39:49 Brennan: He does not save for half. He goes from looking wounded but okay to injured, badly injured.

1:39:57 Emily: And then I think that I still have a movement from my baby.

1:40:00 Brennan: Yeah.

1:40:02 Emily: So we're going to retreat back to our safe place.

1:40:05 Brennan: Okay. You go down just long enough to incinerate all of Ciabatta's troops. He is standing alone in the field going,

1:40:17 Ciabatta: Ceresia, Ceresia, to me!

1:40:20 Brennan: And that is going to be… They're dead. Gone. Liam, that's you.

1:40:32 Ally: Okay. I would like to- Can I roll to see if I know where the Pontifex is in there?

1:40:40 Brennan: Yeah, give me a Perception check.

1:40:41 Ally: Yeah, 22.

1:40:41 Brennan: She is standing, watching this from the tall wall of the keep.

1:40:48 Ally: I would like to take a high- I would like to take a dash action with all the stealth I can manage to get in.

1:40:58 Brennan: Give me a Stealth check.

1:41:00 Ally: With advantage?

1:41:00 Brennan: With advantage.

1:41:00 Emily: Are you still carrying Keradin's body?

1:41:02 Ally: Yeah, I'm still carrying Keradin. Okay, that is a 21.

1:41:04 Brennan: You are carrying Keradin, you vanish into the castle.

1:41:08 Ally: Great.

1:41:11 Brennan: That's going to be Theo.

1:41:15 Murph: Sweet. I think I'm still pretty far away. Where am I? I was like over-

1:41:21 Brennan: You're like here, yeah.

1:41:22 Murph: Okay, I'm just gonna dash to rejoin my-

1:41:24 Brennan: Your Knights of Gumbia?

1:41:24 Murph: Yeah.

1:41:24 Brennan: Hell yeah, cool. And the knights are gonna wait there for you.

1:41:30 Murph: Sweet.

1:41:30 Brennan: Although, they can actually advance with the ram too.

1:41:32 Murph: Yeah, that'd be great.

1:41:34 Brennan: Cool, they advance. That's going to be-

1:41:36 Ally: [about Ciabatta’s mini] This fuckin' thing. I'm so sorry, but this is just unreal. [takes out their phone and takes a photo]

1:41:37 Emily: Disgusting.

1:41:38 Ally: Portrait mode, Zac. Zac smiles for Ally’s picture, since he’s in it.

1:41:38 Brennan: Amethar, that's you. Give me a- What's that? Yeah.

1:41:44 Lou: What we've been doing.

1:41:49 Brennan: Have your unit do what it's doing.

1:41:51 Lou: 12 plus whatever. Plus 4, 16.

1:41:57 Brennan: Plus 4, 16, that's a hit. They're gonna roll morale. Gone.

1:41:59 Multiple: [Sighs of relief] Yes.

1:42:01 Brennan: Jawbreaker's people destroy them. Give me a Perception check with advantage.

1:42:04 Lou: Two 5s.

1:42:08 Brennan: Okay.

1:42:08 Lou: So that's 10.

1:42:14 Brennan: Oh, that's 10? Cool. I'm gonna roll something real quick.

1:42:16 Siobhan: Mm-mm.

1:42:19 Brennan: With a plus 7 to Stealth, it's not good enough. You see, running along the wall here, by himself, Calroy Cruller.

1:42:38 Lou: Ooh, I'd like to break from my unit to say,

1:42:42 Amethar: To the gate!

1:42:45 Lou: I'll break from my unit and sprint for that, the same kind of dam thing we used over here.

1:42:51 Brennan: You break from your unit and charge towards the walls of the castle. Mm-hmm?

1:42:57 Lou: Yeah, I'm just gonna- We'll end there.

1:43:04 Brennan: You charge as fast as you can. [Sighs] White flags of surrender begin to fly up around the castle.

1:43:17 Siobhan: Oh, I didn't see them. [Emily and Brennan laughing]

1:43:25 Brennan: Ruby, you’re next to act.

1:43:25 Siobhan: He's flanked, right?

1:43:28 Brennan: Yes he is.

1:43:28 Siobhan: I would like to unsheathe my water steel dagger.

1:43:33 Murph: Oh, hell yeah.

1:43:37 Brennan: You walk up behind him.

1:43:37 Emily: Make that bread soggy!

1:43:37 Brennan: Go ahead and roll with advantage.

1:43:40 Siobhan: 18 plus 9. 27.

1:43:46 Brennan: Go ahead and roll, I'm gonna roll his Constitution.

1:43:49 Siobhan: It's 4d6.

1:43:51 Brennan: 4d6, he just rolled a natural 4 on his Constitution save.

1:43:55 Siobhan: Great, it's actually three Constitution saves. It's 12.

1:43:57 Brennan: 12 damage, but you also add your sneak Attack.

1:44:05 Ally: Oh!

1:44:09 Brennan: Yeah.

1:44:11 Siobhan: 12, 14, 16.

1:44:13 Brennan: More than 20?

1:44:13 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:44:20 Brennan: Standing in the burned and frozen remains of his soldiers, what happens to Imperator Ciabatta?

1:44:27 Siobhan: I say,

1:44:27 Ruby: In sweetness there is strength, bitch.

1:44:32 Siobhan: And I stab him in the back. He swells up with water.

1:44:35 Brennan: [death rattles] He falls to the ground dead. [cast sighing]

1:44:44 Murph: Hell yeah.

1:44:44 Siobhan: Feels good.

1:44:44 Brennan: Jawbreaker makes another death save. 16, that’s a success.

1:44:49 Murph: Sweet.

1:44:54 Siobhan: Wait, can I have my-

1:45:00 Brennan: Troops move?

1:45:00 Siobhan: My troops move?

1:45:00 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.

1:45:00 Siobhan: So I would like for them to go with my pops and help him.

1:45:10 Brennan: Gotcha, yeah. They start to- They start to rush after your pops.

1:45:14 Siobhan: Help him climb the wall or go through the moat or whatever.

1:45:18 Brennan: Actually, you know what? They're gonna throw grappling hooks.

1:45:18 Siobhan: Great.

1:45:19 Brennan: Grappling hooks sail over the wall. These are like your rogue soldiers. That's going to be, Cumulous, that's you.

1:45:26 Zac: Can I see Cruller?

1:45:34 Brennan: Give me a Perception check.

1:45:38 Zac: 10.

1:45:41 Brennan: 10, no, 10, you don't have line of sight to where he is, he's running along that parapet there. Your raiders just start storming the castle.

1:45:50 Zac: Yeah.

1:45:50 Brennan: Slaughtering people. It gets back to Liam. You dart into the castle and appear on the ledge behind the Pontifex.

1:46:01 Ally: I'm already there.

1:46:03 Brennan: You're already there.

1:46:03 Ally: Sneak- I attack.

1:46:03 Brennan: Go for it.

1:46:03 Ally: 19 plus, that's 30 to hit.

1:46:11 Brennan: That definitely hits.

1:46:11 Ally: All right, second attack. Nat 20!

1:46:14 Emily: Yeah! Brennan is just staring.

1:46:14 Ally: I crit on the Pontifex. Okay, that's two-

1:46:17 Zac: Are you still holding Keradin?

1:46:20 Ally: I'm still holding the carrot. Yeah! Sneak attack, it's doubled.

1:46:23 Murph: Hunter's mark.

1:46:24 Ally: Yep.

1:46:25 Emily: Sir Keradin holding Sir Keradin. [laughing]

1:46:25 Ally: One, two, three-

1:46:25 Siobhan: So confusing.

1:46:26 Ally: Okay.

1:46:26 Siobhan: Why is it happening? I love it. Why is it happening?

1:46:45 Ally: Okay. This is for both attacks.

1:46:45 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:46:45 Ally: 18, 28, 31, 34, plus… Is the Pontifex celestial or-

1:46:56 Brennan: Celestial.

1:46:56 Ally: I hit her for 43 points of damage.

1:47:04 Brennan: That's for both attacks?

1:47:05 Ally: Yep.

1:47:07 Brennan: And one was a normal, one was a crit, correct?

1:47:09 Ally: Mm-hmm. Oh wait. Oh, that was only one attack.

1:47:15 Brennan: Roll the other one.

1:47:15 Ally: Sorry.

1:47:15 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

1:47:15 Ally: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

1:47:15 Murph: Liam.

1:47:15 Siobhan: Great Bulb above.

1:47:15 Ally: Okay, and then this is just the normal attack.

1:47:21 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:47:26 Ally: Yes. Okay, 16, 20, 23, 37. [slow, discordant music]

1:47:26 Brennan: 37? The Pontifex looks out and says,

1:47:38 Belizabeth: How can this be? How can any of this be?

1:47:42 Brennan: Emerging from the shadows, you train your crossbow on her. She tumbles from the edge of the wall, falling through space, arrow piercing her heart, and fallen on the ledge in front of her is the Book of Saint Citrina.

1:48:02 Ally: I look down at her, I throw Keradin off to land on top of her. I grab the Book of Saint Citrina because I know my Queen needs it, and I disappear again, I hide.

1:48:22 Brennan: You vanish. Theo, you advance with the battering ram into the castle.

1:48:29 Murph: Sweet. I think I'm also gonna yell, 'cause if they're surrendering with like white flags and stuff, I think I'm gonna yell, to the enemy soldiers and stuff,

1:48:39 Theo: Bring us the Pontifex and Calroy and we'll stop.

1:48:46 Brennan: You see… Amethar, you ascend up the walls of the castle, as you hear shouts of surrender, and you see heading to the secret exit that leads to the escape, Calroy Cruller. Cumulous, you appear, blocking his exit. [solemn music]

1:48:58 Ally: Those fancy-ass pants.

1:49:11 Brennan: He turns to face you.

1:49:11 Amethar: What's the last part of my title? Say it.

1:49:18 Calroy: Amethar.

1:49:24 Amethar: What's the last part of my title?

1:49:37 Calroy: You—

1:49:37 Amethar: Say the last part of my title.

1:49:37 Zac: I think Cumulous is gonna kick him in the knees and make him bow.

1:49:44 Calroy: [drops to his knees] Amethar, the Unfallen.

1:49:53 Brennan: [sword shing] And he leaps at you.

1:49:53 Lou: Great.

1:49:58 Brennan: He is gonna roll. Jesus, 18, 23, 27, 32. He hits you for 34 points of damage, halved to 17.

1:50:24 Lou: Great. Great. It's my turn?

1:50:24 Brennan: It's your turn.

1:50:31 Lou: I'll Action Surge for four reckless attacks. [cast chuckling] That's 21.

1:50:34 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:50:34 Lou: That's 27.

1:50:41 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:50:49 Lou: That's a crit on a 19.

1:50:49 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:50:49 Zac: Nat 20. [putting his hand over his mouth]

1:50:49 Lou: That's a nat 20.

1:50:57 Ally: That's- What!

1:50:57 Emily: Woo!

1:50:57 Siobhan: That's my pops!

1:50:57 Lou: He makes a DC 20 Constitution saving throw or immediately dies. Brennan is standing there in shock with his hands over his face.

1:51:02 Ally: DC20?

1:51:08 Zac: What's that?

1:51:16 Murph: Oh, 'cause of Payment Day.

1:51:16 Lou: 'Cause of Payment Day.

1:51:16 Siobhan: Cause he killed your sister.

1:51:16 Emily: This is the most beautiful thing, that this was- That we have never seen this until this moment. Brennan is slowly bringing out the Box of Doom.

1:51:24 Lou: Also, just a fun fact, for those at home, this was rolled on a dice that Brennan gave to me after the very first season of Dimension 20, that nat 20.

1:51:31 Ally: Gorgeous.

1:51:39 Brennan: Calroy's a rogue. He's a scoundrel. Which means that he was able to betray and deceive your family over the course of decades. It also means that he is not proficient in Constitution saving throws. He has a plus 1 to this.

1:51:46 Ally: Yes.

1:51:53 Brennan: He needs a 19 or 20. Lou puts his arms up and braces himself on Siobhan and Zac’s shoulders.

1:51:57 Brennan: You might do it on the damage alone. Brennan rolls the save in the box; the audience is briefly able to see that it’s a 16, but the players can’t.

1:51:59 Ally: What was it? [somber string music]

1:52:02 Brennan: Astride the wall over the deep and vast moat of Castle Candy, the Marquis of Muffinfield, who lived a lie for 25 years as your advisor and right hand, leaps forward, scores the deepest cut across your chest that you can remember. After that, what fate befalls Calroy Cruller?

1:52:42 Lou: Take my hand, I rub it across the blood running from my body, take Payment Day along the edge, like the edge,

1:52:54 Amethar: [quietly] For my sister, for my daughter.

1:52:57 Lou: And I bring it down.

1:53:02 Brennan: You slice this piece of cake perfectly in half, to the point where no decent burial or anything done with his remains could be anything other than a disgrace and mockery to his memory.

1:53:20 Lou: I get down on my knees and I grab the back of his pants and I lift him up, and I wait to watch while he shits himself. [Emily laughing]

1:53:30 Brennan: One final humiliating shit.

1:53:40 Cumulous: Wow.

1:53:45 Amethar: Oh, yeah, cousin, this guy-

1:53:45 Cumulous: You don't have to explain-

1:53:47 Amethar: Okay, cool, cool.

1:53:49 Brennan: Calroy Cruller is dead. The siege of Castle Candy is successful. The remaining troops inside, rounded up, the battering ram takes the gate down as the dawn sun begins to lighten the eastern sky. You are injured, and you've sustained a tremendous amount of damage, but the enemies of your house and your nation lie dead, and the Book of Saint Citrina is here so that all may speak and know the truth. Ruby, you stand here at the shattered gates of your castle.

1:54:16 Siobhan: Mm-hmm.

1:54:42 Brennan: You look up, and as the battle is won, Saccharina, you mount up on Cinnamon, and you catch each other's eye across the battlefield. I'm gonna ask you both to look at me and not look at each other again while I'm speaking.

1:54:54 Emily: Okay. Siobhan reaches over for Emily’s hand, then pulls back.

1:55:00 Emily: I know, right.

1:55:05 Brennan: In that moment, you both understand that you are aware of what the others know, and that now that your enemies lie defeated, dark and terrible things are at work. You don't know where Swifty and Gooey and Jon Bon are, but you know what they're planning to do.

1:55:34 Emily: What? I told them not to.

1:55:38 Brennan: You told them not to attack Port Syrup anymore.

1:55:40 Emily: [eyes wide] I didn't know that.

1:55:40 Brennan: It's okay. But you know what they are able to do. Ruby, you look up at her astride this dragon and have seen what it can do. In this moment, I'm going to… Extend to you both that you see visions of the future in front of you. You know what awaits the future of Candia in the worst case scenarios of Saccharina's rule, and you know the truth that this was not brought to you. I'm gonna hand each of you a piece of paper, and what I would like you to do is this. As you are looking at each other, and know that, in a very real way, murder has been discussed, in this moment, as you catch each other's eye, you also feel a possibility for something more. I would like to write on the piece of paper whether you will move to strike in this moment of vulnerability while you are both injured and weakened, or whether you will look for understanding in the other person. I'm gonna tell you how this puzzle works right now, before you write anything down. If you both write that your eyes harden, then there will perhaps be battle, or if you wish to settle it another way, it will settle another way. If you instead choose to look at each other and attempt to truly see the other person, you can write that down as well. What will happen if you both write that you wish to aggress, or if you feel that you only have anger in your heart in this moment, is we will either roll initiative again, or we will settle it some other way. In the chaos of the battle, as you still hear the sounds of slaughter from the castle, if one of you writes that you wish to attack, and the other writes that they wish to understand, that moment of vulnerability will potentially cost that character their life as they lower their defenses. If you both write that you wish to understand each other and see each other, then something else will happen. The cast look at each other for a moment as Emily and Siobhan write. Ally and Lou both drink their water.

1:58:57 Lou: You guys remember freak-a-meep? That was fuckin' funny.

1:59:17 Ally: Freak-a-meep. [solemn music]

1:59:36 Brennan: [takes and reads the papers, then sighs] In the chaos of battle, Saccharina separated from her soldiers, in the dark atop the tower, there is a moment where there would be a chance to strike and end a possible future that could come. Saccharina you look at the Princess Ruby and see that your enemies lay vanquished, and that the beleaguered forces here that have just finished this battle could not hope to withstand you or your magic, and especially not the Princess Ruby, standing beneath you. There's been so much loss and violence and chaos. As I said before, the dilemma you found yourself in was that it is always safer to attack, because if you attack and the other person has chosen to attack, then it's an equal fight, and it's resolved. If you choose to attack and the other person chose to be soft or vulnerable, you have the advantage, and they will die as a result. The choice to understand or to be soft or to show vulnerability of course comes with tremendous risk, because if you choose that and the other person has chosen to attack, then it's over. Both of you catch each other's eye and have to hesitate for a moment to wonder what the other will do in this moment. You gaze at each other, and in your own ways, you have both chosen to understand. Emily begins to grin.

2:01:28 Brennan: What does Saccharina see in Ruby? Ruby, what does Saccharina look to you and see?

2:01:49 Siobhan: Can I Message her?

2:01:49 Brennan: Yes you can.

2:01:49 Siobhan: I'd like to Message her and say,

2:01:55 Ruby: Saccharina, you're an astonishing leader, but I can't be your subject. But please, I would like to be your sister.

2:02:13 Saccharina: Well, you could be my sister, for a while at least, Amethar's still alive. But someday you would be my subject.

2:02:29 Ruby: Someday is someday.

2:02:42 Brennan: Something deep and profound shifts. You look and see Jon Bon, Gooey, and Swifty all look to you for an order.

2:02:46 Saccharina: Get the feast ready.

2:02:49 Swifty: Man! Fuck that! All right. [Emily laughing]

2:02:51 Brennan: You look and see Caramelinda back by the dock as the sun rises, gazing at you, and she Messages you.

2:03:15 Caramelinda: You know what is at risk. [solemn music]

2:03:15 Ruby: She has never had the chance to have a family, and I think that we should give her the chance to feel how that feels.

2:03:31 Caramelinda: And you would risk the devastation and destruction you've already seen to what, expose us? Make us vulnerable? To give a chance? A chance for what?

2:03:46 Ruby: Family is exposed, family is vulnerable. If you don't want to be exposed, if you don't want to be vulnerable, be on your own. But part of the truth is that, is trusting the other people and being good to them and hoping and helping them change. [crying] I already lost one sister, I can't lose another.

2:04:12 Brennan: Caramelinda hangs her head, stunned out of her paranoia by the bravery of her daughter. Amethar, you come to the courtyard as the soldiers declare victory and liberate the captured servants of this place, and… Saccharina and Ruby, you are in the courtyard together as Amethar approaches.

2:04:55 Amethar: That dragon is really something.

2:05:02 Saccharina: Yeah, he's pretty badass, right?

2:05:02 Amethar: Yeah.

2:05:02 Saccharina: I feel like he really fucked shit up.

2:05:05 Amethar: Yeah, I mean-

2:05:08 Ruby: He really fucked some shit up.

2:05:08 Amethar: Whole platoons were just like ba, ba, ba.

2:05:11 Saccharina: Look, I know what happened at Port Syrup was terrible. But… I think that was… Although that was done in my name, it was… I need good people around me. And that's something that's hard to come by.

2:05:47 Siobhan: I take her hand. Emily and Siobhan holds hands.

2:05:56 Brennan: Saccharina, you feel the weight of the crown upon your head.

2:06:00 Siobhan: Oh, 'cause I was wearing it already?

2:06:02 Brennan: Oh no, but you do have the crown here with you. [to the camera, a little pointedly] You have a crown of candy.

2:06:05 Zac: Cumulous is putting it...

2:06:07 Siobhan: Didn't Liam give me the Book of Saint Citrina?

2:06:12 Brennan: Liam approaches and gives the Book of Saint Citrina.

2:06:13 Saccharina: Amethar, will you, after everything I've done for your family, do me one favor and put your hand on this?

2:06:28 Amethar: Of course.

2:06:28 Saccharina: Do you really wanna be king? [gentle music]

2:06:48 Amethar: I do. I really do. But I haven't lived a life worthy of it. You have. And thus, I would defer to you.

2:07:21 Saccharina: [shakes her head slightly] Wow. Where's Sir Theo? He survived?

2:07:24 Murph: I'm once again hovering, and I walk over.

2:07:29 Saccharina: Hi. Well, maybe we can just put off that decision for a little bit.

2:07:43 Amethar: Okay.

2:07:48 Brennan: Make a History check for me, Theo, if you'd be so kind.

2:07:51 Murph: Who makes a History check?

2:07:54 Brennan: You, Theo. Make it with advantage too.

2:07:54 Murph: Ooh, baby, nat 20. Dramatic rolls.

2:07:58 Brennan: Hold on, I'm gonna do something. Brennan gets out of his seat and walks over to Murph.

2:08:14 Lou: Rolls.

2:08:22 Brennan: [whispering] You have the Book of Saint Citrina… The cast starts making loud noises and put their hands over their ears. The audience can still kind of hear Brennan, though, as he’s mic’ed.

2:08:30 Brennan: [inaudible]... the Concord still exists and Amethar can swear on the book and he could say that Gustavo named him. There is a throne in Candia and a throne in Comida. [cast singing and chattering]

2:08:30 Theo: It has just occurred to me that we now have the Book of Saint Citrina, so not only do we have the throne of Candia, but Amethar could say that he was named the Emperor of the Concord and reestablish the Concord.

2:08:51 Saccharina: [gasping] Why, then, Candia would certainly need a Queen.

2:08:59 Amethar: And it most certainly has one.

2:08:59 Lou: I put my hand on the book.

2:09:03 Amethar: Gustavo Uvano named me as Emperor of the Concord.

2:09:11 Brennan: Primsy, in the rubble, says,

2:09:11 Primsy: The Dairy Islands recognizes this claim on the Book of Saint Citrina as being true, and heretofore, missives will be sent to whoever's in charge of these countries, now that we've killed all the people that run them. Your Imperial Majesty, it is an honor to know you and the Empress Caramelinda and the Imperial Princess Ruby of the House of Rocks. And to Her Majesty the Queen of Candia, I say, what a charming finish to this rather strife-filled tale.

2:09:54 Brennan: You look as in fact, the bizarre political machinations of this land have seen you with the ability to prove that in fact there may be more than just one crown of candy.

2:10:06 Zac: I was just going to ask Liam,

2:10:12 Cumulous: What's that thing glowing in your pocket?

2:10:17 Liam: Oh yeah. I still have my seed.

2:10:24 Ally: I eat the seed.

2:10:24 Theo: Liam, wait!

2:10:24 Ally: I eat the seed, maybe it shoots out and it's planted, but-

2:10:33 Murph: I can Heimlich maneuver Liam if it looks dangerous immediately.

2:10:38 Brennan: You eat the seed. Creation and destruction, the Bulb has always been about control and domination, its Church casting its light everywhere, and you've seen the power of the Hungry One in the ruins of Port Syrup, and you've seen these two extremes, and you have chosen Lapin's wish, which somewhere, not even in the middle, but in the middle and then far beyond and past to something new and strange and exciting. When Liam thinks of change and the change that he would wish to see in the world, what is the change Liam would most wish to see?

2:11:15 Ally: I think he wishes that this kind of like, bursting creativity of Candia, embrace of magic and individualism, would burst forth, and that instantly Candia would quadruple in size, with its place on the Calorum map.

2:11:37 Brennan: [to the camera] I mean, fuck me, right? You guys hear a deep rumble in the earth and see mountains begin to sprout on the horizon, and you feel a shifting, the cola rushes down the river as Candia's lands expand to 400% of their current size.

2:12:05 Saccharina: Thank you so much, I just became the Queen, and my realm just got fucking huge.

2:12:09 Liam: Yeah.

2:12:14 Amethar: And as Emperor, this is going to be a nightmare.

2:12:19 Brennan: Liam, you hear the chuckle of a far-off rabbit closing the door as the final structure. Is there anything that Lapin whispers to Liam on his way out of this reality?

2:12:35 Lapin: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with being a seed guy.

2:12:38 Liam: Cool. [Emily laughing]

2:12:41 Lapin: Preston, come on. [clapping]

2:12:41 Ally: Yes!

2:12:41 Brennan: [pig squealing] One final kiss that you feel on your cheek.

2:12:50 Ally: So wet.

2:12:53 Brennan: And the magic fades. A new age of Candia is born and the only rival to the feasting of a new vast and magical Candia is the feasting in Comida as the Emperor Amethar of the House of Rocks embraces his title, and bringing a new age of peace to these realms. The newly crowned prince, or I should say King of Vegetania, Nezemiah Cabbage, apologizes deeply for the violence of his people, and had no idea that this Pontifex was in fact so violent. The Senate of Ceresia, once again newly formed after a brief dip into fascism, sends a formal envoy to thank you for the dispatch of the horrifying Imperator Ciabatta, and at the various feasts, Basha Myaso approaches.

2:13:46 Basha Myaso: [Russian-esque accent] Maybe, maybe I wrong about you.

2:13:53 Amethar: Yeah, well. We make mistakes.

2:14:02 Basha: You think it's okay if I kick all the priests out of my lands?

2:14:05 Amethar: Oh. Honestly, the only thing I ask is that you send a missive to my daughter and bring her along with you.

2:14:15 Basha: You know, Candia doing very well since return of magic. Maybe this Queen Saccharina want to fly her dragon and show us Meatlanders how to bring things back from asleep.

2:14:27 Amethar: I'm sure she would.

2:14:27 Emily: I'm definitely going through Meat Land charring some shit up.

2:14:30 Ally: Ha ha! Yum.

2:14:33 Brennan: In Candia, the Order of the Spinning Stars' ranks swell as new magics are discovered. Sir Theobald, the Knights of North-Gumbia are proud at attention as you serve your new queen and protect all of the vast riches of Candia. And Liam, there are a lot of strange new seeds in this land. Magic seeds. Seeds that won't hurt anyone and can do miraculous and amazing things.

2:15:00 Saccharina: Would you like to be the Master Gardener instead?

2:15:03 Liam: [emotional] Yes! I'm so done with being an archer.

2:15:03 Brennan: As we end, I would like each of you to please give me a moment from our heroes as the new peace descends upon the land.

2:15:21 Ally: I think after I iced the Pontifex and the carrot, I collected their bodies again, and when we got to, like once the town was back together, we revived them, and we keep them in prison, and when they came to and I had saved their lives, I just kind of like explain that I'm sick of revenge and icing people and stalking and the dark to try to bring back a pig that will never come back, and I just am like, “in sweetness there is strength, but also in strength there is sweetness, and this is my mercy for you two, but you're gonna be in jail for the rest of your lives”. And they have a lot of Candian literature in there.

2:15:56 Brennan: Sir Theobald.

2:16:31 Murph: I think as everything- I think Theo is extremely relieved that everything kind of wrapped up so neatly, but I think as everybody's kind of like, after there's like the little reunion of the siblings and everything, I think I would like to go up to Amethar and Ruby and just say,

2:16:51 Theo: You could've told me.

2:16:57 Amethar: Told you what?

2:16:57 Theo: That you had a claim to the throne.

2:17:01 Amethar: Oh, okay. I mean, I'm a warrior, all right? The night before one of the biggest battles of our lives-

2:17:04 Theo: I know.

2:17:07 Amethar: You think I'm gonna come and put that in your head?

2:17:13 Theo: Saccharina would've been fine being your heir. It didn't need to… I'm just, I never betrayed you and I never would betray you, and I never would betray you either, Ruby. I was- I-

2:17:24 Ruby: We just didn't want to put that… We didn't want to have to make you choose.

2:17:29 Theo: I understand that, and I did something very similar with Liam. I told him a half truth. I told him that Saccharina was in danger. So I did the same thing that you did. But yeah, I just want you to know that the crown-

2:17:45 Ruby: Sir Theobald, go fuck Gooey.

2:17:45 Theo: All right.

2:17:45 Murph: As I start to walk away, I'm like,

2:17:45 Theo: [quickly] The crown never meant anything, I just wanted to protect your family-

2:17:45 Amethar: Hey, slam her down big style!

2:17:45 Theo: I'm very submissive, I'm going to get slammed down big style! [Brennan laughing]

2:17:53 Murph: I go and I get slammed down big style.

2:18:01 Brennan: What a fitting end for Theobald's story. Cumulous.

2:18:09 Zac: I think Cumulous is, you know, taking stock of the Order, he's like looking in the armory with all the magical weapons, sort of, [sighs emotionally]. [Brennan laughing] Walks past, he like opens one more set of doors and there's floor to ceiling just stacks of towels. [Ally laughing] And then-

2:18:20 Brennan: Snickersnack goes,

2:18:31 Snickersnack: Many died. Many died to protect this room.

2:18:37 Cumulous: And we will always protect it. [Brennan laughing]

2:18:40 Zac: And then he walks past another, opens another set of doors, and there's a chocolate hen, and he picks it up, and he just. [gives it a little kiss]

2:18:43 Brennan: Aww!

2:18:44 Multiple: Aww!

2:18:45 Brennan: Amethar.

2:18:45 Lou: I think like, after a long day of advisement from Saccharina about distributing magic throughout the world, we're just kind of walking through the halls of Castle Candia.

2:19:08 Amethar: So yeah, that's where I slept when I was growing up. And so you know, it was like me, and then me and Sapphria, we used to get up to so much shit, I tell ya. I have to show you all of like the secret passages here and stuff.

2:19:22 Saccharina: Please do.

2:19:22 Ruby: [behind her hand to Saccharina] There's like five that he doesn't know about.

2:19:25 Saccharina: I'm pretty sure Swifty actually found them.

2:19:27 Amethar: Honestly?

2:19:30 Saccharina: Really channeling a lot of his aggression into exploring and mischief.

2:19:34 Amethar: Honestly-

2:19:34 Saccharina: He keeps running into- He keeps asking for an apartment in-

2:19:36 Amethar: In Dulcington?

2:19:36 Swifty: A nice three-bedroom in Dulcington!

2:19:37 Ruby: I get it, honestly, I get it.

2:19:37 Swifty: I'm wearing four thongs! How's that!

2:19:37 Ruby: But how many are you wearing now? [rips them away]

2:19:37 Swifty: Oh! Ruby gives him finger guns.

2:19:37 Swifty: I'm glad I didn't murder you, and I rarely say that!

2:19:37 Brennan: Warmth fills your heart, to be in this place that you discovered before the battle, you were always longed to be in, even when they didn't know that you were out there.

2:19:54 Emily: I have one final piece of business.

2:20:11 Brennan: Yeah.

2:20:11 Emily: I think I just wanna make it clear that in my free time, I've also done some adventuring with Cinnamon down to Vegetania to look for sort of a food substitute for human hearts. I heard of something called pea protein. Questing for it.

2:20:44 Brennan: Give me an Investigation check, our last check of the game.

2:20:44 Murph: Okay.

2:20:44 Emily: 18.

2:20:44 Brennan: You find a lot of great pea proteins. Really helpful, it's really good for him, and there's something kind of beautiful about it being Vegetanian in nature-

2:20:51 Murph: A vegan dragon!

2:20:59 Brennan: I'll also say this. The dragon is of the Hungry One, and it fed on the power of the Bulb, because that's what the Bulb has always represented to the Hungry One, these two forces. In the village where Liam has kept the incredibly resurrected Pontifex and Sir Keradin that now work as kind of monastic prisoners.

2:21:11 Ally: I visit them each day and we chat and they hate it.

2:21:24 Brennan: You find there, though, that a tree is growing, a tree that looks a lot like the tinfoil robes of a chocolate rabbit warlock you never got to meet, and it grows from where- Actually, I should say it's outside of Castle Candia, it's where Liam made his wish. A tree grows there, in bright pink and green and yellow and different colors with tinfoil leaves and huge chocolate fruit on them. And you watch as cranky Cinnamon that has not gotten to eat any hearts lately, and may never grow as big as he might have if he'd been allowed to get angrier and angrier, reaches out and eats a little fruit off of this wish tree, and you see that his eyes, red, and they look at you with something like recognition and love, as though this dragon, who loved you, of course, but also loved what he was able to do because of you, regards you instead, and it seems even something as primal as a dragon can be changed by a wish for a better world. He grows gentle, you see he turns around and for the first time regards the world, not with hunger, but with wonder. Ruby.

2:23:05 Siobhan: I'd like to stay in Candia, at least for now, and give Saccharina the sister that she never had. And I feel like everybody's probably pretty sad, and the best remedy for that is maybe to have a little circus show that travels around the land and performs for the people, because I think that we could all use a bit of cheering up. [Crown of Candy theme fading in]

2:23:33 Brennan: After a long time of being a good and wonderful sister, with your parents in the city of Comida ruling the Concord, it is helpful for the new and powerful Witch Queen of Candia to have an advisor that is cunning and slight of her ways and clever and sly to teach her about the Candia that she was not fortunate enough to grow up in.

2:24:04 Ruby: Honestly, I should've studied more for this. I did not set myself up for success, but I'll help you as much as I can.

2:24:07 Saccharina: Maybe we should just do some acrobatics.

2:24:12 Ruby: Oh, you know what? Thank you!

2:24:14 Brennan: Later in life, when finally these things are settled, you're given a flier, and the Traveling Swirler Sisters are coming through town. [Siobhan sighs]

2:24:34 Ruby: I'll be back.

2:24:37 Saccharina: Okay.

2:24:39 Ruby: Okay.

2:24:40 Brennan: A beautiful multi-colored road stretches away through a land made of candy, and the bright colors of the circus, bringing nothing but joy to all the people here, Ruby flies through the air. Peace, wonder, joy, and an age of magic. So much sorrow. But through long nights and hard work, and reaching out to understand each other, a very sweet age is dawning. That's all for A Crown of Candy. Thanks for watching. The screen fades to black. Suddenly a post-credits scene begins playing.

2:25:27 Ally: Can I ask a question that would maybe leave it on a cliffhanger?

2:25:35 Brennan: Sure.

2:25:35 Ally: Okay, you can let me know if this doesn't do anything.

2:25:37 Brennan: Sure.

2:25:37 Ally: But I wanted to have the book and ask Caramelinda if she knew who killed Catherine Ghee.

2:25:44 Emily: Yeah, that's what, I was gonna give her the book and say-

2:25:47 Ally: 'Cause she would've been around. Is there any way that she would've been involved in the killing of Catherine Ghee, to make her family be loyal?

2:25:52 Brennan: Bonus content. On the Book of Saint Citrina, no.

2:25:54 Ally: Okay.

2:25:57 Brennan: Caramelinda was not a villain. Caramelinda was scared. Like a lot of people were.

2:25:59 Ally: Okay, but she wouldn't even have been in the room if that had been decided-

2:26:01 Brennan: No.

2:26:03 Ally: Who killed Catherine Ghee?

2:26:03 Murph: It was probably Calroy.

2:26:03 Brennan: Catherine Ghee got sick and died.

2:26:10 Siobhan: But who threatened Catherine Ghee?

2:26:11 Brennan: Huh?

2:26:11 Siobhan: Who threatened Catherine Ghee?

2:26:11 Brennan: Catherine Ghee, oh.

2:26:11 Siobhan: Tell us the secrets.

2:26:11 Brennan: Catherine Ghee was paranoid, and when people-

2:26:12 Emily: Did she just lie to me?

2:26:14 Brennan: People were coming to look for her to tell her to come to Castle Candy, and she thought they were coming to kill her. She was just scared.

2:26:21 Siobhan: Oh no!

2:26:24 Emily: That's devastating.

2:26:26 Siobhan: So tragic.

2:26:27 Ally: Crazy.

2:26:28 Lou: Bonus content.

2:26:28 Brennan: Bonus content. After the credits. Thank you for watching A Crown of Candy, we'll see you guys next time. [cast cheering] Transcribed by Tillie the Paladin Edited by Tillie the Paladin, Kyber Bonsai, rowan solsys