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Once Upon a Time
What happens
- 00:00:50 Brennan welcomes the audience and recaps (recap) that the six heroes found a fairy godmother and an army of half animated objects near a rotting pumpkin carriage and were all killed; he tells the story of Geppetto, the wooden boy Pinocchio, the talking cricket and the turquoise-haired fairy who made him a real boy and turned 40 pennies into 40 golden coins, and says a lying nose could only grow if he were made of wood (00:00:50).
- 00:04:26 Lou is called in alone; Pinocchio has lost his animation and life, feels insects in his wooden body and holds his staff, "of course, we know, your nose" (00:04:51). Lou says Pinocchio broke his own nose off his face after the Neverafter's ruin and because lying had saved his father (00:06:04).
- 00:07:16 The ghost of the talking cricket drives off the bugs; Pinocchio, a puppet again, rises from his body and curses at the cricket who tells him to be good and never tell a lie (00:09:20, 00:10:28, 00:11:33).
- 00:11:06 Pinocchio is pulled by strings through space and meets the Stepmother at the end of a hallway behind a door; he confesses he does not know where Rosamund is, that he went into her house and took a doorknob, an etching of a man and a knife; he gives them up (00:13:13, 00:16:05, 00:17:34).
- 00:19:07 She snaps his nose off, tells him great magic requires blood, names his father as the one with blood and sends a crow; Pinocchio protests, grips the blood-stained nose and returns to his body with a crow familiar and a staff bonus (00:20:25, 00:22:18, 00:25:30, 00:26:05).
- 00:26:23 She asks if anyone else knew of her; he mentions the mice; she warns him to keep Princess Rosamund away from searching eyes; she grabs him and he makes a wisdom save of natural 20, sees the village of Amanti and sees a little-boy version of himself turned into ink etchings and drawn into her palm as he takes his place (00:26:31, 00:26:57, 00:27:45, 00:28:30, 00:29:40, 00:31:27).
- 00:32:13 Zac is called in; Pib senses he has died, leaves his boots and cape behind and walks on as a plain cat; a Fox and a Rabbit, caught in a trap and a net, greet him as fellow tricksters (00:32:29, 00:36:47, 00:37:35, 00:39:07).
- 00:39:39 Pib offers to free them; a hidden net is sprung and he dodges it (dexterity save 16), and the two release themselves (00:40:12); in the stream the three see many versions of the Neverafter's stories; the Fox and the Rabbit ask who should go back; Pib refuses to step down; the Fox wants to eat the body of Tomas, and Pib stops him (00:40:10, 00:41:49, 00:44:49, 00:47:55, 00:48:22, 00:50:56).
- 00:51:39 Pib puts on new boots and a cape of a darker, older Puss in Boots; the Fox and the Rabbit take him to a spiderweb and a marble slab with the Ring of the Web and two fang daggers (the Fangs of Isengrim); he returns running from the fallen kingdom of Marienne (00:51:50, 00:52:54, 00:54:40, 00:55:10).
- 00:55:34 Siobhan is called in; Rosamund wakes in her bed in a castle with the briars only outside; invisible glass armor on the landing turns out to be Cinderella (00:55:50, 00:57:41, 00:58:27).
- 00:59:02 Cinderella makes a fire and explains: Rosamund is dead; the Neverafter is also times; she, Snow White and Rosamund can die and remember; the fairies manipulate destiny; she warns against fairies and witches and asks her to look for a dancing princess near a sea (01:00:54, 01:02:47, 01:06:58, 01:07:58, 01:10:35, 01:16:44, 01:18:14).
- 01:13:34 Rosamund's Insight is a natural 20; she chooses to look to herself and sees many versions of her own story, some romantic, some violent (01:13:50, 01:14:31).
- 01:19:23 The two embrace; Cinderella gives her a wrapped parcel (01:19:29, 01:20:25).
- 01:20:47 Rosamund wakes among thicker briars with memories of seven fairies' gifts; mice that Rosamund had fed in another life gnaw the briars; she takes the spindle of a spinning wheel and leaves the castle (01:20:47, 01:24:38, 01:25:09, 01:25:45).
- 01:26:30 Emily is called in; Ylfa walks a forest path beside the biggest wolf she has seen; he tells her she has died and offers her a fork: left to a kinder story where the woodsman kills him and she is reunited with her grandmother, right to other stories (01:27:15, 01:28:09, 01:32:50, 01:34:44).
- 01:36:11 At Ylfa's request the wolf lets her speak to her grandmother; Grandma walks up the path, speaks like Ylfa's mother, then turns into a wolf-like figure and comforts her; Ylfa goes down the right-hand path (01:36:38, 01:37:02, 01:41:18, 01:43:03, 01:44:07).
- 01:44:20 At a cliff the wolf, bleeding, gives her blood that sets her cloak briefly afire and is burned away; a beast calls out below; Ylfa wakes near Pottingham in a stronger body with memories of two versions of her story (01:46:13, 01:46:44, 01:47:14).
- 01:47:58 Murph is called in; Gerard floats in water among lily pads with a shock of glass in his chest; a golden-winged fairy with turquoise hair appears (01:48:16, 01:49:03).
- 01:49:41 Gerard tells her he is a frog and wants first the glass out, then the frog undone, then Elody found; the fairy speaks of the happily ever afters and the order of fixes (01:50:24, 01:51:25).
- 01:52:28 He mentions the book; Insight 12 shows her reaction; she offers to bring him back to life in a world where he can rejoin the companions and asks him to report on Rosamund's contacts and to bring the shard to a moonlit glade; Gerard's attempt to pull the glass fails again (01:52:53, 01:55:09, 01:58:06, 01:59:55, 02:00:59).
- 02:01:49 Gerard wakes in the woods outside Greenleigh, much more froglike, with the shard still in his chest, and with memories of a darker, more violent attack on his castle (02:02:12).
- 02:03:52 Ally is called in; Timothy flies on a golden goose over Pottingham; the Goose explains the Neverafter's many versions, the Gander as its "other half", the book as a safe waiting room and Jack's different story (02:03:59, 02:05:20, 02:07:29, 02:10:12, 02:13:22, 02:17:53).
- 02:18:08 A golden tear from the Goose makes the book grant extra spells known; Timothy returns at his desk with the memories of another version of himself and his husband Henry at the door; the book shows eight fairies (02:18:08, 02:19:53, 02:21:45, 02:21:50).
- 02:22:13 The six are called back to the table; Brennan closes the show and a next-time preview for Episode 5 follows (see Table talk) (02:22:37, 02:23:13).
Frames
Key quotes
- “which makes telling a story complicated, because they're all dead.” — Brennan 0:00:50
- “You have not met any of my friends, Pinocchio.” — Stepmother 0:15:45
- “You got your crow familiar.” — Lou 0:25:56
- “I think it seems fun and it seems correct to just fuck it all up.” — Pib 0:45:13
- “Oh! Oh, my apologies. You're awake.” — Voice 0:57:32
- “We believe that destiny is a project, and that there are entities responsible for it.” — Rosamund 1:07:58
- “You may mark down the spindle of a spinning wheel on your character sheet.” — Brennan 1:25:45
- “You're my princess. But we are still broke, so.” — Grandma 1:43:30
- “the second one is a mistake.” — Fairy 1:54:13
- “Bad choice, that bonnet.” — Goose 2:06:47
Who and what appears
Player characters
- Mother Timothy Goose
- Pinocchio
- Prince Gerard of Greenleigh
- Princess Rosamund du Prix
- Puss in Boots
- Ylfa Snorgelsson
NPCs
- Big Bad Wolf
- Cinderella
- Fox & Rabbit
- Gepetto
- Grandma Ylfa Jottensdottir
- Henry Hubbard
- Jack the Giant Killer
- Little Boy Pinocchio
- Old King Cole
- Pinocchi-Crow
- Princess Elody of Greenleigh
- Snow White
- Talking Cricket
- The Gander
- The Golden Goose
- The Stepmother
- The giant
- The mice of the hamlet
- The woodsman
- Tomas
- Turquina
- Ylfa's mother
Locations
- Amanti
- Greenleigh
- Marienne
- Pottingham
- Rosamund's tower and castle
- Snowhold
- The Beanstalk
- The Lullaby Lands
- The Neverafter
- The Stepmother's hallway and door
- The clearing with traps / the stream / the spiderweb and marble slab
- The fork in the path / the cliff
- The space between lives
- Timothy's house and office
Items and artifacts
- Boots and cape of Puss in Boots
- Cinderella's glass armor, kite shield and glass polearm
- Cinderella's parcel
- Fangs of Isengrim
- Lily pad pieces
- Magic beans
- Mother Goose's book
- Pinocchio's nose
- Red gems
- Ring of the Web
- The glass shard
- The golden egg
- The spindle
- Ylfa's cloak
Factions and organizations
Creatures
Roll log
| Time | Character (player) | Roll | Result | DC / AC | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00:27:45 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Wisdom save | natural 20 | — | sees Amanti and the etching |
| 00:35:52 | Pib (Zac) | Insight or Perception | 7, then "it becomes a 12" | — | Brennan lets Zac choose |
| 00:38:37 | Pib (Zac) | Insight | 11 | — | confused |
| 00:40:10 | Pib (Zac) | Dexterity save | 16 | — | dodges the net |
| 00:47:55 | Pib (Zac) | Deception | 10 | — | Tomas's body appears |
| 00:48:34 | Pib (Zac) | Intimidation | 18 | — | Fox flattens ears |
| 00:50:56 | Pib (Zac) | Persuasion or Intimidation, advantage | dirty 20 | — | Fox accepts |
| 00:56:28 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Perception | 17 | — | fresh flowers |
| 01:01:35 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Insight | 14 | — | Cinderella holds back |
| 01:13:37 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Insight | natural 20 (Siobhan "That's a crit"; Brennan "nat 20") | — | sees other versions |
| 01:23:25 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Intimidation, advantage | dice one and eight | — | briars retreat but hold |
| 01:38:16 | Ylfa (Emily) | Perception | 6 | — | Grandma answers with oatmeal cookies |
| 01:48:50 | Gerard (Murph) | Athletics, disadvantage | natural 1 | — | shard stays |
| 01:52:53 | Gerard (Murph) | Insight | 12 | — | sees reaction to "book" |
| 01:57:34 | Gerard (Murph) | Deception | 13 | — | fairy asks "Companionship?" |
| 01:59:55 | Gerard (Murph) | Athletics, disadvantage | 9 and 6; Brennan takes the low (6) | — | cuts his hands |
Natural 20s: Pinocchio 1 (Wisdom save), Rosamund 1 (Insight) · Natural 1s: Gerard 1 (Athletics) · Totals "dirty 20": Pib (Persuasion or Intimidation).