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No Place For a Prince or Princess
What happens
- 00:00:54 Brennan welcomes the audience; recap (recap) at 00:01:36: the party is just inside the fallen kingdom of Elegy, has plunged into the forest guided by Little Red Riding Hood's scent tracking and Rosamund's forest skill, and has found a mob of partially transformed warriors with the Fairy Godmother and the glass shard in her chest; the party's noise has alerted her, but the hillock still hides them from sight.
- 00:03:35 The players say the party's position was given away by their arguing over the plan; Gerard did not want to go along with it (00:03:42).
- 00:04:15 Combat begins; the constructs swivel around from the rotting pumpkin carriage; Brennan says new game mechanics may be added (00:04:56); the party's plan is a "distraction" team and an "extraction" team to get only the shard (00:05:18, 00:05:22).
- 00:06:07 Pib sneaks to a dead cow (Stealth 23) and hears the constructs surge into the woods along the easiest paths (Perception 19) (00:07:46, 00:08:19).
- 00:09:21 Rosamund shouts that she is a princess and shoots (13 misses); with Ylfa's help she rerolls the Deception or Persuasion check as a natural 20 and draws the Fairy Godmother's attention (00:12:04, 00:12:14).
- 00:12:55 The Godmother speaks to Rosamund and casts a radiant spell: 12 to Ylfa, 7 to Rosamund; Rosamund remembers rotting fairies over a crib; Charisma saves 4 and 12; Brennan passes Siobhan a red gem (00:15:03, 00:15:42, 00:16:50).
- 00:16:04 The extraction team (Pinocchio, Gerard) sprints around the hillock (Stealth 13 and 2) and meets a charging bed and a one-legged table; Timothy runs up the hill and attracts constructs; Ylfa holds a canyon ("Ylfa's bottleneck") (00:22:03, 00:25:35).
- 00:33:19 Pib dives for a "horse" carcass (Stealth 17) and finds a living mule, Ricard's mule (00:34:06, 00:34:25).
- 00:36:21 Rosamund shoots from a tree (25 to hit, 11 damage); the first morale check is introduced; Ylfa fells a barrel (15 to hit, 11 damage) (00:36:54, 00:39:49).
- 00:41:16 The Godmother misses Rosamund twice and her blasts wake the bed in the tree; she asks Rosamund "Don't you want the kind of life I can provide?" (00:41:53, 00:42:40).
- 00:44:32 Pinocchio charges and casts Hex; the Stepmother's voice comes out of his mouth; Gerard sees the Godmother's face from his childhood and says she turned him into a frog; Pinocchio is kicked by a hay bale and an arm falls off (00:47:36, 00:49:44, 00:52:02).
- 00:57:34 Pib climbs the pumpkin carriage and lies to the Godmother that Cinderella sent him (Deception 18) (00:59:28).
- 01:04:49 The Godmother drops Pinocchio to 0; Gerard's jump fails (Timothy's lie drops her five feet; Gerard rolls 5); constructs hit him twice and he drops (01:05:02, 01:07:34, 01:10:42).
- 01:12:14 Pib's Investigation (21) shows only risky options; a second lie fails; he retreats into the pumpkin; Rosamund hits the Godmother for 12 (first hit on her); the Godmother follows Pib in and hits him for 6 (01:17:02, 01:21:22, 01:24:41).
- 01:25:23 Pinocchio's death save fails; Rosamund drops (3 damage) and fails a save; Pib is dropped by the Godmother; she tells Gerard "It's been a long time, your highness." (01:28:56, 01:37:46, 01:38:36).
- 01:44:37 Timothy is cut down; Gerard's attempt on the shard fails (3) even with the mule bolting; Ylfa shouts "It's me, Cinderella!" and goes down (01:50:08).
- 01:51:44 Pinocchio dies on his third failed save and his death vision is shown (01:52:38, 01:53:31).
- 01:54:05 Gerard accepts damage, rolls a natural 18, pulls the shard and stabs himself; the Godmother dies in an explosion of light; the party is all down (01:55:54, 01:57:43, 01:58:18).
- 01:59:18 Ruling: the constructs wander in search of threats; stabilizing will not save anyone. Death saves: Pib dies (nat 1), Rosamund dies (nat 1), Ylfa dies, each with a last vision; Gerard and Timothy stabilize, then have their last visions (02:01:23, 02:02:56, 02:05:44, 02:10:31, 02:12:18).
- 02:14:08 Brennan declares a total party kill, the first in Dimension 20 history; Emily's closing line is "once upon a time"; next-time preview (see Table talk) (02:14:08, 02:14:24).
Frames
Key quotes
- “just inside the borders of the fallen kingdom of Elegy” — Siobhan 0:01:36
- “Wow, we're in hell.” — Zac 0:09:17
- “Look, they're dead. Let's get out of here.” — Gerard 0:16:57
- “Why are you shooting at a little girl, you weird creeps?” — Rosamund 0:36:10
- “That's her, she turned me into a frog!” — Gerard 0:49:44
- “Un-frog me!” — Gerard 1:05:33
- “With your fine boots, don't you want to be a man?” — Godmother 1:18:39
- “It's been a long time, your highness.” — Godmother 1:38:36
- “She has a natural rebuking ability that she's never gotten to use because Rosamund, who wounded her, was more than 60 feet away.” — Ally 1:56:37
- “Wicked, wrong, and selfish creatures, trying to drive a knife through the heart of the book.” — Wolf 2:08:09
Who and what appears
Player characters
- Mother Timothy Goose
- Pinocchio
- Prince Gerard of Greenleigh
- Princess Rosamund du Prix
- Puss in Boots
- Ylfa Snorgelsson
NPCs
- Alphonse the Mule
- Big Bad Wolf
- Fairy Godmother
- Il Terribile Pescecane
- Princess Elody of Greenleigh
- Ricard
- The Fairy Godmother's servants
- The Gander
- The Stepmother
- The three gift fairies
Locations
- Amanti
- Elegy
- Hell / the boiling sea
- The castle of the ogre
- The forest clearing near the Godmother's camp
- The pumpkin carriage
Items and artifacts
- Gerard's book of forms
- Pinocchio's nose
- Pumpkin carriage bric-a-brac
- Red gems
- Rosamund's thorn bow
- The Godmother's magic wand
- The glass shard
- The golden ball
- Ylfa's greataxe and battleaxe
Factions and organizations
Creatures
- Animated bed
- Anvil-headed blacksmith and drawer
- Barrel soldiers
- Bugs (Neverafter)
- Hay bale
- One-legged table
Roll log
| Time | Character (player) | Roll | Result | DC / AC | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00:07:46 | Pib (Zac) | Stealth | 23 | — | hides in dead cow |
| 00:08:19 | Pib (Zac) | Perception | 19 | — | constructs seek paths |
| 00:09:51 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | attack | 13 | — | misses |
| 00:10:07 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Deception or Persuasion | 4 | — | no reaction |
| 00:12:04 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | reroll Deception or Persuasion | natural 20 (called a crit) | — | Godmother's attention |
| 00:15:03 | Godmother | radiant wand spell | 12 to Ylfa, 7 to Rosamund | — | bypasses rage halving |
| 00:16:44 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Charisma save | 4 | — | red gem |
| 00:16:47 | Ylfa (Emily) | Charisma save | 13 minus one = 12 | — | — |
| 00:22:03 | Gerard (Murph) | Stealth, disadvantage | 2 | passive Perception 6 | noticed |
| 00:22:10 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Stealth | 13 | passive Perception 6 | — |
| 00:25:18 | Timothy (Ally) | Stealth | 7 (Ally says "a 7 or a 10", settles on seven) | — | attracts constructs |
| 00:26:51 | Ylfa (Emily) | reaction attack | 19 | — | hits; 7 damage |
| 00:33:19 | Pib (Zac) | Stealth | 17 | — | behind the mule |
| 00:34:03 | Pib (Zac) | History, advantage | 22 | — | recognizes the mule |
| 00:35:58 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Athletics or Acrobatics | dirty 20 | DC 10 | onto a branch, bed as cover |
| 00:36:27 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | attack | 25 | — | 11 damage after reroll |
| 00:39:45 | Ylfa (Emily) | attack with Bardic Inspiration | 15 | — | 11 damage, barrel collapses |
| 00:41:25 | Godmother | attacks | natural 1, then a miss | — | bed wakes |
| 00:51:52 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Constitution save | 6 (plus three) | DC 10 | arm smashed off |
| 00:52:45 | Pinocchio (Lou) | concentration | 16 | DC 10 | Hex holds |
| 00:59:12 | Pib (Zac) | Deception | 18 | — | Godmother believes |
| 01:00:32 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | attack | 9 plus 6 = 15 | — | 9 damage after reroll |
| 01:01:22 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Athletics or Acrobatics | 6 | DC 10 | prone, 1 damage |
| 01:02:59 | Ylfa (Emily) | grapple | dirty 20 | 14 | holds a barrel |
| 01:04:28 | Godmother | radiant damage | 8 | — | at Pinocchio |
| 01:04:48 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Constitution | 11 | — | drops to 0 |
| 01:07:06 | Timothy (Ally) | Deception | 16 (plus four) | — | Godmother drops 5 feet |
| 01:07:34 | Gerard (Murph) | Athletics | 5 | needs 10 | falls short |
| 01:08:31 | Gerard (Murph) | longbow attack | 9 | — | miss |
| 01:10:10 | Gerard (Murph) | Constitution save | natural 1 | — | level of exhaustion |
| 01:10:15 | construct | damage | 9 then 16 | — | Gerard drops |
| 01:11:29 | Timothy (Ally) | Healing Word | 6 | — | Ylfa |
| 01:12:14 | Pib (Zac) | Investigation | 21 | — | only risky options |
| 01:17:02 | Pib (Zac) | Persuasion, disadvantage | dice nine and four (total not said) | DC 20 | fails |
| 01:17:16 | Pib (Zac) | Deception | "That is not it." | DC 20 | fails |
| 01:20:34 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Athletics or Acrobatics | 9 | DC 10 | stumbles |
| 01:21:22 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | attack | 19 | — | 12 damage |
| 01:23:07 | Ylfa (Emily) | attack | 10 | — | misses |
| 01:24:11 | Godmother | two attacks on Pib | a one and a 12 on the dice (needs 9 or lower to miss) | AC 16 | one hit |
| 01:24:41 | Godmother | damage to Pib | 6 | AC 16 | 2 hit points left |
| 01:25:06 | Pib (Zac) | Constitution save | 11 | — | succeeds |
| 01:25:41 | Pinocchio (Lou) | death save | 6 (Lou first reads a 2); Brennan: "That's a six" | — | failure |
| 01:28:14 | construct | attack on Ylfa | natural 1 | AC 19 | miss |
| 01:28:50 | construct | attack on Rosamund | 13 plus 6 | — | 3 damage, she drops |
| 01:30:20 | Timothy (Ally) | Acrobatics | 10 | DC 10 | gets down the hill; then declines the opportunity attack needed to reach the mule |
| 01:33:16 | Pib (Zac) | Investigation, disadvantage | 9 | — | items noticed |
| 01:34:42 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | death save | 3 | — | failure |
| 01:37:16 | Ylfa (Emily) | attack | 13 | — | misses |
| 01:38:16 | Pib (Zac) | attack | 8 | — | — |
| 01:44:01 | Ylfa (Emily) | Constitution save | 9 | DC 10 | exhaustion |
| 01:44:54 | constructs (anvil head, drawer) | two attacks on Timothy | 7 then 8 damage | — | Timothy drops |
| 01:47:09 | Gerard (Murph) | Athletics to pull the shard | 3 | needs 8 on the die | fails |
| 01:48:04 | Timothy (Ally) | death save | 3 | — | failure |
| 01:48:18 | Pib (Zac) | death save | 8 | — | failure |
| 01:48:47 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | death save | 15 | — | success |
| 01:50:22 | Ylfa (Emily) | Deception, disadvantage | seven and two minus one = 1 | — | "not natural" |
| 01:50:49 | Godmother | radiant damage | 4 | — | Ylfa drops |
| 01:51:44 | Pinocchio (Lou) | death save | 3 | — | dies |
| 01:55:54 | Gerard (Murph) | Athletics to pull the shard | natural 18 | needs 13 | success |
| 01:57:27 | Godmother (rebuke) | damage 3d10 | 9, 9, third die not said | Gerard 13 HP | Gerard unconscious |
| 01:59:57 | Timothy (Ally) | death save | 12 | — | success |
| 02:00:21 | Pib (Zac) | death save | 10 | — | success |
| 02:00:31 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | death save | 19 | — | success |
| 02:00:40 | Ylfa (Emily) | death save | 7 | — | failure |
| 02:00:48 | Gerard (Murph) | death save | 17 | — | success |
| 02:01:06 | Timothy (Ally) | death save | 12 | — | success |
| 02:01:23 | Pib (Zac) | death save | natural 1 | — | dies |
| 02:02:56 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | death save | natural 1 | — | dies |
| 02:04:22 | Pib (Zac) | Charisma save | 9 | — | — |
| 02:04:47 | Ylfa (Emily) | death save | 8 | — | second failure |
| 02:05:07 | Gerard (Murph) | death save | 5 | — | failure |
| 02:05:19 | Timothy (Ally) | death save | 16 | — | success |
| 02:05:44 | Ylfa (Emily) | death save | 9 | — | dies |
| 02:07:58 | Ylfa (Emily) | Charisma save | 14 minus one = 13 | — | fingers pass through fur |
| 02:09:36 | Gerard (Murph) | death save | 12 | — | success |
| 02:09:48 | Timothy (Ally) | death save | 5 | — | failure |
| 02:09:53 | Gerard (Murph) | death save | 11 | — | third success, stabilizes |
| 02:10:20 | Timothy (Ally) | death save | 12 | — | stabilizes |
Natural 20s: Rosamund 1 (reroll) · Natural 18: Gerard 1 · Natural 1s: Godmother 2 (attacks, 00:41:29 and the one on a die at 01:24:11), construct 1 (attack on Ylfa), Gerard 1 (Constitution save), Pib 1 (death save), Rosamund 1 (death save). Totals "dirty 20": Rosamund (Athletics or Acrobatics), Ylfa (grapple).