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The House Always Wins
What happens
- 00:00:37 Welcome and DM recap of the Battle of the Brands: the Plinth, Brobbin Bunny and Smaggy Squirrel are destroyed; the Korncake construct Brutus remains, with a chance of recharging his breath weapon — 00:00:48
- 00:02:19 Barry's turn: he falls off the dais (4 damage), grapples Brutus with a 39 on Athletics, walks him to the edge and drops him; Performance natural 20 brings the crowd and an executive to their feet — 00:03:01–00:06:54
- 00:07:09 Brutus gets a Dexterity save (DC 15) to hang on; Barry throws a net so that he has disadvantage; Brennan rolls 14 and 18 in the Box of Doom and Brutus holds the edge — 00:09:28–00:09:54
- 00:10:54 Barry jumps 30 feet up and lands on Brutus (bonus action) under tightened rules; Brutus's reach attack and poison damage — 00:11:29–00:13:28
- 00:13:45 Margaret drops a stun grenade (no effect), plops out of her camera nest (11 damage), insults Brutus, uses Call to the Guards on Barry and Shield; Brutus's attack hits Barry; Brutus shreds the net with a legendary action — 00:14:41–00:20:53
- 00:21:12 Skip's death save; Brutus hits Barry again; Gunnie's gas grenade and a heal on Skip; Brutus gets up and frightens the party with Wisdom saves; Margaret and Barry go down — 00:21:18–00:30:09
- 00:30:26 Sidney's Mirror Image takes the last hit; Riva's psychic throw and shunt (Brutus burns resistances); Sidney tosses Aurora to the dais, revives Barry and throws stun grenades; Brutus drops Sidney — 00:30:42–00:39:09
- 00:39:17 Barry's second grapple: Brutus 29 and 25 against Barry's 17 on the second roll; Barry carries Brutus over the edge; Skip dashes 120 feet and catches Barry; Riva and Gunnie revive Margaret, Sidney and Aurora — 00:40:34–00:45:19
- 00:45:21 Victory: Zeke Donaldson Quark announces the Gunner Channel as the new champions; the cardboard 1.2 million credit check; Gunnie's speech; Margaret slaps and kisses the reporter; the crew is told to leave because they are wanted — 00:45:50–00:47:27
- 00:47:33 Jimmy the Snout and Chip Hatwell commentate; the party is escorted to the lockers; Dora Valentine greets Gunnie with a message from Erwin — 00:47:48–00:49:01
- 00:49:38 Cornelius Ashmun's terms: viral logo toss, the purse held to buy down the Repo Reaper debt, 200,000 petty-cash advance and 10,000 signing bonuses; Finance 15 and Insight 14 — 00:49:48–00:55:12
- 00:55:56 Margaret and an Acme-Ashmun executive (Insight 24); Margaret asks for an office and fake names on Rubian V; nursery offered on Onolo Dos — 00:56:08–01:00:19
- 01:00:35 Locker room: Brutus out of costume, the frequency to the Vercadian droids; the Galactic Girl Guides (Khloe, Malika, Stacks) — 01:01:19–01:07:20
- 01:07:23 Gunnie and Dora: Dan Scrap, being right, the dog show; a cigar-smoking stranger escapes down a grate — 01:07:35–01:11:42
- 01:12:04 Acme-Ashmun reports: a nursery on Onolo Dos, Rubian V under investigation — 01:12:04
- 01:12:37 Skip returns to the pool with 12 Bellinis; the nuns scatter ("Scramble!"); one hides in a garbage can; they go up to Sadie Zeb's penthouse — 01:13:31–01:16:07
- 01:16:43 Sister Sadie Zeb's confession (borinyum scam, faked deaths), Probe Mind, brain-slug check (Insight 23), the 50k video deal, the Pleasure Putty pitch — 01:17:09–01:28:13
- 01:29:04 Plans: shields, Onolo Dos; 150,000 credits for the exploded decoy ship; the Wurst jumps; long rest — 01:29:11–01:31:02
- 01:31:09 Aboard in faster than light: Gunnie moves into a bed; Gunnie edits a sizzle reel and Margaret demands to be cut out — 01:31:09–01:32:57
- 01:33:29 Casino roll in Mas Vegas: natural 20, the Wurst clears 15,000 credits; the crew moves to a moderate lifestyle; the casino has a permanent gambler, Bambi Leroux — 01:33:58–01:38:15
- 01:38:31 Bambi in the casino; Barry's Big Win is taken for Barry Nyne's casino; the party discusses getting Barry Nyne back — 01:38:41, 01:39:24–01:39:57
- 01:40:07 Skip's natural 20 Lore: the Great Emhatchening and the Great Egg — 01:40:19–01:46:42
- 01:46:42 The party questions Zortch (Investigation 13, Insight 26); Zortch's psychic link to the planet and their family's history — 01:47:30–01:57:48
- 01:53:22 Morning aboard: Aurora with a bighorn tortoise, Raymond's coffee, Crunch Moon-Jones's email, Bambi with breakfast; the U4F badge — 01:53:30–01:56:17
- 01:58:06 Zortch is told of the House of Frangus and its names; Stacks charges the Jib-Jobbers 15K at the door — 01:58:09–01:59:43
- 02:00:01 Skip speaks to Skipper in the bathroom mirror; Insight 21 — 02:00:08–02:03:12
- 02:03:15 Arrival at Onolo Dos; Auma Liu asked to meet at the ship; Myrmidon Station and the Acme-Ashmun shield generators; the ambush by 60 UFTP shock troopers, Barry Nyne and Lucienne Rex — 02:03:20–02:08:19
- 02:08:40 "Next time" card (Episode 15, "Face to Face") and its preview — 02:08:40–02:09:13
Frames
Key quotes
- “Brutus, it's the finals.” — Murph 0:03:08
- “You've gotta to be kidding me.” — Brennan 1:40:17
- “I cannot sustain an attack of opportunity.” — Emily 0:36:05
- “We're going to Bob's Fantanimalland.” — Ally 0:47:22
- “Brutus, you kicked my ass.” — Barry Syx 1:01:28
- “Scramble!” — Nun 1:13:31
- “Sorry, it's just bad luck.” — Brennan 1:21:07
- “The house always wins, folks.” — Brennan 1:34:21
- “I love heroes. You guys are great.” — Zortch 1:50:54
- “A brain slug orgy.” — Barry Syx 1:58:21
Who and what appears
Player characters
- Big Barry Syx
- Gunthrie "Gunnie" Miggles-Rashbax
- Margaret Encino
- Norman "The Skipper" Takamori
- Riva
- Sundry Sidney
NPCs
- A cigar-smoking man
- Acme-Ashmun workers
- An Acme-Ashmun executive
- An assistant
- Auma Liu
- Aurora Nebbins
- Bambi Leroux
- Brutus
- Cornelius Ashmun
- Erwin Rashbax
- Handy Annie
- Jimmy the Snout
- Khloe Karter
- Lucienne Rex
- Malika
- Pool Staff
- Princeps Zortch
- Professor Dora Valentine
- Raymond Zam
- Sadie Zeb
- Stacks McFadden
- Vercadian Protector Droid in the corner
- Wiley Wes
- Zeke Donaldson Quark
Locations
- Barry's Big Win Casino
- Cosmic Veil
- Hecatoncheires Asteroid Cluster
- Kubla-Kola Gladiatorial Arena
- Lavada
- Locker room
- Mas Vegas
- Myrmidon Station
- Onolo Dos
- Rubian V
- The Andalusian
- Uncle Bob's Fantanimalland
Items and artifacts
- Acme-Ashmun logo on the side of the Wurst
- Acme-Ashmun shield generators
- Barry's Big Win slot machines
- Bellinis
- Cardboard check, 1.2 million galactic credits
- Egg substitute sacks
- Fake ID (Starstruck)
- Friction-grip gloves
- Gas grenade
- Kublacaine
- Med pack
- Net (Starstruck)
- Pleasure Putty
- Sizzle reel
- Stun grenade
- The Great Egg
- U4F badge
Factions and organizations
- Acme-Ashmun
- Galactic Girl Guides
- House of Frangus
- Kansas Korncakes
- Repo Reapers
- Sisters of the Cosmic Veil
- The Gunner Channel
- Triangle Mint Cookies
- U4F
- United Free Trade Planets
Creatures
Roll log
| Time | Character (player) | Roll | Result | DC / AC | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00:03:01 | Barry (Murph) | falling damage | 2d6 = 8, halved to 4 | — | steps off the dais |
| 00:04:33 | Barry (Murph) | grapple Athletics, advantage | 28 without the d6; 34 with Potent Aptitude 6; 39 with Margaret's 5 | opposed | Brutus rolls 17 and 7 with advantage, no natural 20 — 00:05:28 |
| 00:06:08 | Barry (Murph) | Performance, advantage | natural 20 | — | crowd and executive go wild |
| 00:08:15 | Barry (Murph) | net attack | 26 to hit | — | hit; Brutus has disadvantage on Dex saves |
| 00:09:28 | Brutus (Brennan) | Dex save to hang on, disadvantage (Box of Doom) | die 14 and 18 (needs 6+ on each) | — | holds the edge |
| 00:12:58 | Brutus (Brennan) | reach attack on Barry, disadvantage | 24 to hit | — | hits |
| 00:13:24 | Barry (Murph) | Con save | 7 | — | 22 kinetic halved to 11, plus 6 poison |
| 00:15:30 | Margaret (Ally) | Kublacaine temp hit points | 6 | — | 14 total |
| 00:16:16 | Margaret (Ally) | fall from the nest, 3d6 | 11 | — | 3 hit points left |
| 00:18:46 | Brutus (Brennan) | attack on Barry via Call to the Guards, disadvantage | 8 on the die plus 12 = 20 | — | hits |
| 00:19:56 | Barry (Murph) | Con save | 9 | — | 12 halved to 6 kinetic, plus 11 poison; Barry at 28 |
| 00:20:33 | Barry (Murph) | self-heal reaction | 6 | — | — |
| 00:20:53 | Brutus (Brennan) | legendary action, attack on the net, disadvantage | 18 and 11 | — | cuts the net |
| 00:21:18 | Skip (Zac) | death save | 11 | — | success |
| 00:21:58 | Brutus (Brennan) | attack on Barry, disadvantage | 7 plus 12 = 19 | — | hits; 14 halved to 7, plus 15 poison; Barry at 12 |
| 00:25:45 | Brutus (Brennan) | Con save vs Gunnie's gas grenade | burns a legendary resistance | DC 14 | takes 6 |
| 00:26:07 | Brutus (Brennan) | attack on Barry, disadvantage | 5 plus 12 = 17 | Barry's AC 17 | hits; 16 halved to 8 |
| 00:27:03 | Barry (Murph) | Con save | 15 | — | passes; poison 10 halved to 5 |
| 00:27:33 | Brutus (Brennan) | breath weapon recharge | 4 | — | no breath |
| 00:28:22 | Sidney / Riva / Skip / Gunnie / Margaret | Wisdom saves vs Brutus's roar | natural 20 / 26 / 17 / 17 / 16 | — | Margaret's 16 fails (Skip and Gunnie's 17s pass); "You are not frightened." — 00:28:57 |
| 00:29:30 | Brutus (Brennan) | claw on Margaret | 14 | Margaret AC 15 | misses |
| 00:30:05 | Brutus (Brennan) | second attack on Margaret | hit | — | 8 plus 7 = 15; Margaret down |
| 00:30:42 | Brutus (Brennan) | Mirror Image roll; attack on the duplicate | 16; natural 20 | needs 11 | last duplicate destroyed |
| 00:32:44 | Brutus (Brennan) | Strength save vs Riva's Heightened throw, disadvantage | die 2 (1-3 fails) | DC 16 | fails; burns a legendary resistance to succeed |
| 00:33:27 | Brutus (Brennan) | Strength save vs Quickened shunt | succeeds | — | — |
| 00:34:09 | Brutus (Brennan) | 15-foot reach attack | 5 plus 12 = 17 | Sidney AC 21 | misses |
| 00:35:19 | Aurora Nebbins (Emily) | death save | fail | — | one failure |
| 00:36:48 | Sidney (Emily) | healing on Barry | 4 plus 5 = 9 | — | Barry back up |
| 00:37:10 | Brutus (Brennan) | Con save vs stun grenade | die 9 (needs 5+) | — | passes |
| 00:37:42 | Brutus (Brennan) | Con save vs second stun grenade | die 15 (needs 5+) | — | passes |
| 00:38:41 | Brutus (Brennan) | attack on Sidney | hit | AC 16 | Con save 11; 10 poison; Sidney down |
| 00:39:20 | Barry (Murph) | healing | 9, 7: back up to 16 | — | — |
| 00:40:34 | Brutus (Brennan) | contested Athletics, advantage | 6 and 17; target 29 | — | — |
| 00:41:08 | Barry (Murph) | contested Athletics, advantage | 11 and 6 | 29 | fails |
| 00:41:18 | Brutus (Brennan) | contested Athletics, second round | 13 and 2; target 25 | — | — |
| 00:41:36 | Barry (Murph) | contested Athletics | 17 on the die | 25 | wins; both go over the edge |
| 00:43:09 | Margaret (Ally) | death save | 11 | — | success |
| 00:43:39 | Skip (Zac) | Sleight of Hand | 17 | — | grabs Barry |
| 00:44:02 | Barry (Murph) | Athletics | 28 | 15 | beats the 15 |
| 00:51:28 | Margaret (Ally) | Finance | 15 | — | — |
| 00:51:38 | Margaret (Ally) | Insight (Riva helps) | 14 | — | Brennan: companies like this "don't screw people out of 1.2 million credits" — 00:51:44 |
| 00:56:30 | Margaret (Ally) | Insight, advantage | 24 | — | the executive hungers to be a proldier |
| 01:13:00 | Skip (Zac) | Stealth | 16 | — | reaches the pool |
| 01:22:26 | Riva (Siobhan) | Insight on the nuns | 23 | — | no brain slugs |
| 01:26:45 | Riva (Siobhan) | Persuasion; Luck | 8 plus 7 = 15; flat Luck 6 | — | sisters agree |
| 01:33:58 | (the table; roller not named) | casino roll | natural 20 | — | Wurst clears 15,000 credits |
| 01:40:19 | Skip (Zac) | Lore, advantage | 17 and natural 20 | — | Great Emhatchening lore |
| 01:47:54 | Skip (Zac) | Investigation on Zortch | 13 | — | — |
| 01:48:51 | Riva (Siobhan) | Insight on Zortch | 26 | — | Zortch's psychic link |
| 01:53:54 | Sidney (Emily) | check for Loose Duke | failed | — | "I didn't get it." |
| 02:00:42 | Skip (Zac) | Insight, advantage | 21 | — | peace with Norman |
"Dirty 20" is a total, not a natural 20; a bare "one" result is a total unless "natural"/"nat" is said. Natural 20s: Barry 1 (Performance), Sidney 1 (Wisdom save), Brennan 1 (attack on Mirror Image), Skip 1 (Lore), casino roll 1 · Natural 1s: none rolled (the Forgery nat 1 is recalled at 02:08:33)