Dawn of Justice

0:00:20 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 14: Dawn of Justice < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] > [Intro Theme]

0:00:49 Brennan: Hello one and all! Welcome to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year." I'm your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan and with me as always are our Intrepid Heroes. Say hi, Intrepid Heroes.

0:00:59 All: Hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:01:01 Brennan: Ah, last we left off the gang was back at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy– Zac sinks down in his seat.

0:01:06 Brennan: –heading into… [pauses and dips his head down while looking at Zac] Zac sits back up.

0:01:08 Brennan: [as if nothing happened] Heading into the spring!

0:01:10 Emily: Zac dropped a spell card, does that mean he doesn't have it anymore? Ally sinks so low in their seat only their head is visible above the table.

0:01:13 Siobhan: He doesn't have–

0:01:13 Brennan: Unfortunately.

0:01:14 Zac: I got it back, though! I got it back, though!

0:01:16 Emily: I'm sorry, I don't make the rules.

0:01:18 Brennan: You did cast it, though. You did cast a spell, though. So unfortunately, and oh so sadly–

0:01:23 Siobhan: And Ally's actually been this small the whole time. You just are misremembering. Lou and Murph turn to look at Ally.

0:01:26 Lou: Yeah, here, let me adjust the pillow. [adjusting Ally’s seat]

0:01:27 Ally: [sticks their tongue out][rolls a die] Nat 20. [left side of the table cracks up]

0:01:32 Brennan: Last we had left off, we had just wrapped up in Fallinel for the Moonar Yulenear with all the family around. Ally is still “little” and is resting their arms on the table. Lou rests his arm on Ally’s chair behind their head.

0:01:37 Brennan: Our gang had gone to Hell. They went to the recording studio in the Bottomless Pit. Baby had another imp made, which was Baby Baby. We met Bill Seacaster. We met Pok Gukgak. We met Rip the sound engineer who's a spine devil. Lou crosses his arms and poses for the camera, leaning a little closer towards Ally. Murph mirrors him.

0:01:50 Brennan: And we got a lot of info about Bakur, Athenriel, the fact that Athenriel was made into Bakur. We learned about some of the timeline of Ankarna, who had been the sister of Ruvina, these twin giant deities of winter and summer together, who had married one of the Sylvan gods, Cassandra. None other than Kristen Applebees' goddess. How wild. In downtime, we had a quick stop over at the Court of Stars where Adaine finally got paid after Fabian won a dance contest.

0:02:24 Siobhan: My champion.

0:02:25 Brennan: My champion.

0:02:26 Lou: Hey, it's the plot of "Honey," you know? [laughing]

0:02:29 Lou: I'm Jessica Alba in "Honey."

0:02:31 Zac: Oracool.

0:02:32 Lou: Oh yeah, the Oracool of Dance.

0:02:35 Emily: Oracool!

0:02:36 Brennan: And we learned about who Ankarna was prior to becoming this fiendish version of herself. Her fiendish domain, of course, was fire, rage, conquest. But in an earlier iteration, she had been a goddess of summer, of the sun, of clarity, certainty, judgment, discernment, justice, and retribution. Which you kinda see how you get from A to B there. But those are not strictly speaking the same thing. And there was a conversation that Bakur had had with Gorthalax way back in the day, that Gorthalax was able to share because by finding the name, you had bypassed Oblivati Mori and creatures were able to speak to you of that deity that had gone away. That distinction there being that it was almost as though Ankarna had incentive to become the way that she was, due to something to do with her mortal followers. That you gotta play the hits, to a certain degree. And you gotta give the people what they want. End of last week's episode, Adaine with the new gig and giving her two weeks at Basrar's; Fabian running down Owlbears, and I believe also, Fabian, once again acing your various exams.

0:04:00 Lou: We do it all.

0:04:00 Zac: Oracool.

0:04:01 Brennan: We do it all, baby.

0:04:02 Emily: Oracool.

0:04:02 Lou: Oh hey, another day being the Oracool. [blows on his mug]

0:04:06 Murph: Is that a "Honey" reference?

0:04:08 Lou: That's a "Honey" reference, yeah.

0:04:08 Brennan: Oh and I forgot, Fig and Fabian also chased down and assaulted Fabian's banker, Alston Hughes. Emily twirls her finger as if spinning a pistol. Murph looks at her fondly. [Ally laughs]

0:04:17 Zac: Are those guns?

0:04:17 Emily: Yeah, yeah. I never used the gun, I just–

0:04:18 Lou: Yeah, all the flintlocks.

0:04:20 Brennan: However, we ended last week's episode on Kristen walking right into cleric class and meeting face to face with the priest of Sol himself, Mr. Bobby Dawn. [church-like organ instrumental]

0:04:34 Brennan: Which is where we continue. The Aguefort background flares to life on the dome projectors.

0:04:37 Ally: Great.

0:04:38 Brennan: As Bobby looks at you and says,

0:04:42 Bobby: Miss Applebees, welcome to class. You can go ahead and take your seat. I've only just begun.

0:04:47 Ally: Great. I sit down.

0:04:51 Bobby: Students of junior year cleric track here at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, my name is Mr. Bobby Dawn, as I have said. I am a priest of Sol. But in my capacity here at this academy, I will, of course, not be proselytizing. But rather, a neutral party here simply to help facilitate your devotion to your various and sundry divinities. So, we will begin with a short lecture on the nature of faith as it pertains to a pantheon cross-regionally.

0:05:28 Brennan: You see that he goes and starts drawing stuff up on the chalkboard. [music fades]

0:05:31 Brennan: Kristen, do you sit down and just start observing in the class? Or is there anything that you're doing as you take a seat?

0:05:36 Ally: I think I'm gonna really try to be under the radar here. I think it would be really good to know what these people think and maybe what they're up to. And maybe be a little bit less adversarial.

0:05:50 Brennan: Yeah, I dig that. You see that Bobby continues that first class, obviously a very learned and proficient cleric. But give me an Insight check.

0:06:00 Ally: Okay. That is an 18.

0:06:06 Brennan: There is an unmistakable bent to Mr. Dawn's lecture that has the structure of a sermon to it, right?

0:06:16 Ally: Yeah, yeah, totally.

0:06:17 Brennan: He's clearly not like Professor Badgood in this way, who was a... Much more devoted to an academic, analytical discussion of these issues. Whereas, there's a couple moments where the lecture kinda veers into something that you would describe as being like, certain students in the class get a harsher type of question than others. But we can go ahead and continue with your downtime activities. What would you like to roll for your downtime?

0:06:48 Ally: Well, I'm gonna do academics, probably first.

0:06:50 Brennan: Okay, cool.

0:06:51 Ally: Just to make sure I'm good on that. But I was wondering if I could also look in the library for Ankarna information. Like, her old domain and maybe any new info that could help us.

0:07:05 Brennan: Okay, go ahead. So let's do academics- do you wanna do academics first or do that mystery roll first?

0:07:10 Ally: Oh, okay. I'll do academics first.

0:07:14 Brennan: Okay, go ahead and roll Religion.

0:07:17 Ally: Nice. That is a… 19.

0:07:22 Brennan: 19 is an A-plus.

0:07:23 Ally: Woo!

0:07:24 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

0:07:25 Ally: Okay. Then I'm going to do a popularity roll. But specifically, I wanna go and visit Gertie. [Emily laughs]

0:07:36 Brennan: Let's do it.

0:07:39 Emily: Gertie!

0:07:39 Brennan: Gertie.

0:07:40 Ally: I wanna go flirt with–

0:07:40 Emily: Hey, Gertie!

0:07:42 Ally: Hey, Gertie, Gertie, Gertie. Where you going?

0:07:45 Lou: Is that entirely why you're dating Gertie?

0:07:47 Ally: Yeah. Hey, Gertie!

0:07:49 Brennan: Go ahead and roll either Persuasion or Insight or whatever you would wanna roll for this popularity.

0:07:56 Ally: I'll do Insight with Gertie.

0:07:57 Brennan: Do Insight, yeah.

0:07:57 Ally: Hey, Gertie. All right, that's a 21.

0:08:00 Brennan: 21 means that you get that second tier of popularity which means that you can get advantage on a later track check.

0:08:07 Ally: So sick.

0:08:08 Brennan: So you approach, bees humming everywhere. You see this lovely, firbolg girl. She's sort of about 6'5" or 6'6". And got big glasses on under the big apiarist thing. She's all protected. And you see she's like whispering into the beehive. She turns around and says,

0:08:24 Gertie: Oh, aha. Kristen, hello.

0:08:27 Kristen: Damn. [laughing]

0:08:33 Gertie: What uh… Why the uh… Why the little moment of sacrilege, Miss Applebees?

0:08:41 Emily: [laughing] Why the little moment of sacrilege?

0:08:44 Kristen: You just look good, I'm sorry.

0:08:46 Gertie: Oo, well. I don't exactly think that my apiarist's protective uniform is form fitting, but I guess if you've got it, flaunt it. Hubba, hubba.

0:08:59 Kristen: I like you, Gertie. We should go out sometime. But other than that, I'm actually here on business. [Zac laughs]

0:09:05 Emily: [laughing] No!

0:09:07 Brennan: You see she says,

0:09:07 Gertie: Well, if you wanna get– yeah. Uh, oof. Ha, ha, it's hot in this. Uh, yeah, tell me what you want.

0:09:16 Kristen: Yeah, well, my friend used to work at Basrar's so maybe we could go and get dinner there. I don't know, maybe I could still get her discount. Basrar is kinda lenient. But I was wondering. You know how you said that you were getting that Devil's Nectar?

0:09:33 Gertie: The Devil's Honey, yeah. Yes, Devil's Nectar, making Devil's Honey, yes.

0:09:37 Kristen: How much of that Devil's Honey are you shoveling out? Is that like a lot of turnover there?

0:09:44 Gertie: Not much. I mean, you need a tremendous amount. Like think about how much nectar bees collect to actually make a given amount of honey. Devil's Nectar is so hard to find that I've only made about, I would say probably a handful of bottles over the last year.

0:10:01 Kristen: Whoa, okay, okay. Do you have any orders coming in that you're about to fill, or...?

0:10:08 Gertie: No, not at the moment. Um, it seems like... Well, let me see. They ordered some right after the new year. And they did order two bottles, which is like twice as much as the last chunk of time. So it seems that they needed more than normal, but I'd be amazed if they, you know. I mean, two bottles if you were gonna... Yeah, it was sort of interesting, I feel like maybe just one of the trucks is using it as like a garnish or something like that, 'cause if you were trying to make big sheets of like a baklava or something like that, you'd need way more than I made.

0:10:48 Kristen: Yeah. Oh, so they got it in the trucks.

0:10:51 Emily: Putting Devil's Honey on baklava?

0:10:52 Ally: No, just like if you were gonna put it on baklava, right?

0:10:55 Emily: It's just a weird, specific [muttering].

0:10:57 Gertie: I love baklava!

0:10:58 Kristen: Oh, okay, yeah.

0:11:00 Emily: Okay, I was thinking Kipperlilly was already doing it.

0:11:03 Brennan: Yeah, was already doing it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:11:04 Gertie: Of the many honeyed confections, I believe baklava is king.

0:11:08 Kristen: Oh, yeah.

0:11:09 Emily: It's true.

0:11:10 Kristen: I love a little yogurt with a little honey on it.

0:11:13 Gertie: I like a little honey. [sniffing]

0:11:16 Kristen: I'll give you as much time as you need.

0:11:17 Gertie: I'll get back to you tomorrow.

0:11:19 Kristen: Okay, great. Okay, well, you know what, if they order more, would you tell me? And I was thinking maybe we'd try something kinda funny. And we just give them placebo.

0:11:33 Gertie: Listen, I'd be happy to tell you, 'cause everything I do for the Apiarists Club has to be logged 'cause it's a school activity. So it's open knowledge, but I don't think I would feel comfortable telling a fib.

0:11:47 Kristen: Oh yeah, that makes sense.

0:11:49 Gertie: Listen, I think we should call out the elephant in the room. I have feelings for you.

0:11:55 Kristen: Oh yeah.

0:11:56 Gertie: But one of your closest friends is my archnemesis. [Emily cackling]

0:12:00 Kristen: Kind of Shakespearean in that way, huh?

0:12:02 Gertie: Very tragic. [cackling continues]

0:12:05 Gertie: We are, I am afraid, star-crossed.

0:12:06 Kristen: We're star-crossed. Well...

0:12:09 Emily: I love her so much! I'm gonna steal your girl, Kristen!

0:12:12 Ally: No! Gertie is mine!

0:12:18 Lou: Not if I don't kill them first. [Emily and Brennan laugh]

0:12:21 Kristen: Gertie, do you mind, ugh. Can I see the logs of the apiary honey that you've given out? I'd love to just snap some pictures of 'em on my crystal. I'm working on a big project.

0:12:34 Brennan: She looks over at you and says, absolutely. Even without rolling a mystery check, just based on the popularity, she takes you through and you see in the logs that the first delivery of Devil's Nectar to make Devil's Honey happened about a week or two after spring break last year.

0:12:52 Ally: Oh, interesting. So even before Lucy died.

0:12:56 Brennan: Even before Lucy died.

0:12:57 Emily: Before spring break last year. What were the Rat Grinders doing on spring break last year? Were they just grinding?

0:13:04 Ally: Were they grinding, were they shrimp partying?

0:13:06 Emily: What were we doing?

0:13:06 Ally: We were shrimp partying.

0:13:07 Emily: Yeah.

0:13:07 Zac: Before spring break?

0:13:09 Siobhan: They must have had a big project though, right? 'Cause we had a big project and the Seven had a big project.

0:13:15 Ally: Okay, cool. Well. I take her hand and I go,

0:13:18 Kristen: One day.

0:13:22 Gertie: Te quiero, mi querida.

0:13:24 Kristen: Huh?

0:13:25 Brennan: Hm?

0:13:25 Emily: She's speaking Spanish.

0:13:27 Kristen: Oh! Te qu– oh, te… Gotcha. Beautiful.

0:13:31 Gertie: Je t'aime, as they say.

0:13:32 Kristen: Yes, yes, definitely. All right.

0:13:34 Ally: I moonwalk out.

0:13:38 Gertie: I shall make you a gift of bee's wax.

0:13:40 Kristen: I'd love that.

0:13:42 Brennan: Amazing, okay. So that's your popularity check.

0:13:44 Murph: Clearly nailed it.

0:13:45 Ally: Yeah.

0:13:47 Lou: Did you see that moonwalk outta there?

0:13:51 Ally: Absolutely nailed it.

0:13:52 Brennan: That's cleric classes, that's popularity.

0:13:54 Ally: Last one, I think I was gonna meet with my parents.

0:13:56 Brennan: Yeah!

0:13:57 Ally: So, I'll go do a family check.

0:14:01 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:14:01 Ally: And then after that I'm gonna do a Hail Mary for the campaign.

0:14:06 Brennan: Cool. So would this be a relationships check here? Or would this be–

0:14:09 Ally: Yes.

0:14:10 Brennan: Okay, cool. Go ahead. The DC is 15. Go ahead and roll an Insight check.

0:14:18 Ally: 27.

0:14:19 Brennan: Wow! Okay. You end up going to Krom's Diner. And you see Mac and Donna are there. And you see that your younger siblings are all there.

0:14:29 Ally: Okay.

0:14:30 Brennan: As well. You see Bucky comes up and gives you a big hug.

0:14:33 Kristen: Hey!

0:14:34 Bucky: Hey, Kristen! It's good to see you.

0:14:36 Kristen: It's good to see you too.

0:14:37 Bucky: Wow, wow, wow, wow. How's junior year going?

0:14:41 Kristen: [sighs] It's really good. It's really good. The party's doing well. At different times we've attacked each other but I'm gonna definitely believe that it was someone being charmed.

0:14:53 Bucky: Gotcha. Gotcha. My party's having a hard time now 'cause none of them are converting to Helio so it's a little stressful, but um... You know, it's hard.

0:15:04 Kristen: Are you trying to convert your whole party to Helio and that's the whole issue?

0:15:07 Bucky: Yeah. Well–

0:15:08 Brennan: You see he looks over and you see Mac goes,

0:15:09 Mac: Well the issue is they're not converting.

0:15:12 Kristen: Ah. Okay, okay.

0:15:14 Brennan: I like kinda quietly meditate within.

0:15:18 Kristen: You catch a lot more bees with sugar.

0:15:20 Brennan: Ha, ha! You catch a lot more bees with sugar. So Mac and Donna look and they say,

0:15:25 Ap: Nice of you to reach out, Kristen.

0:15:28 Kristen: Thank you.

0:15:29 Ap: Yeah.

0:15:30 Kristen: Parentalized child.

0:15:32 Ap: Well, you know… You reached out to us and I know you got some things on your mind. We'd be happy to talk to you about, you know?

0:15:45 Kristen: Yeah.

0:15:46 Ap: I know you're staying with your friends, Fig and Adaine. But you're always welcome to come home.

0:15:53 Kristen: Oh, thank you. That's really sweet. Yeah. I, uh… We got a new teacher. We got Bobby Dawn.

0:16:02 Ap: We were really happy. It looks like now that, uh… that bum is outta the cockpit, it looks like some good decisions– Murph and Ally nearly laugh.

0:16:11 Kristen: She died! She was murdered!

0:16:13 Ap: Oh, she was murdered?

0:16:14 Kristen: Yes!

0:16:15 Ap: I thought she got fired, oh.

0:16:17 Kristen: No, she was absolutely murdered!

0:16:22 Ap: [taken aback] Ah.

0:16:22 Ally: Do they look actually remorseful for that?

0:16:24 Brennan: Well, yeah, you see they're like,

0:16:26 Ap: Ah. I didn't...

0:16:26 Ally: Okay, they're not monsters.

0:16:29 Ap: Well, you know, nobody should be murdered other than by Helio.

0:16:34 Kristen: Cool.

0:16:35 Ap: So, I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. And, you know, I wish that, you know, she had been fired instead and not...

0:16:44 Kristen: Before she was murdered?

0:16:46 Ap: Or not murdered, you know. We don't, you know. But I will say, you know, maybe Helio wouldn't have let that happen, you know? That's all I'll say.

0:16:55 Kristen: [awkward and quiet] Hm. Hm. Oh, yeah. [Brennan laughs]

0:16:59 Ally: My voice just gets so high for the rest of the talk.

0:17:01 Brennan: Woo, oo!

0:17:01 Kristen: I guess so.

0:17:03 Brennan: You see they say,

0:17:03 Ap: But I was very happy to see the school finally make a good call. Not sweating so much sending, Bucky there anymore.

0:17:10 Kristen: Yeah, Bobby just got here, right?

0:17:12 Ap: Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:17:14 Kristen: Wow, cool. I was in Fallinel recently and there was… Yeah, it seems like the... kind of like Galicaea and Helio, there was a big mix of different people. I thought that was really interesting. Do you guys like Galicaea?

0:17:36 Ap: Uh… What's this, the elf god?

0:17:39 Kristen: Yeah.

0:17:40 Ap: Uh, you know. Hey... It... you know. As far as gods go, you know, it's not like she's, um… You know, a demon.

0:17:53 Kristen: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true.

0:17:57 Ap: But you know. I mean, to be honest, Kristen, I know that you had a roommate or a friend who was a worshiper of Galicaea.

0:18:07 Kristen: Mm-hmm, yeah, my good friend.

0:18:11 Ap: And that's all fine, you know. But... you know, it's like, you could worship a god that tells you how to be a werewolf or you could worship one that could cure you of being a werewolf. And it just seems, I don't know. I, I... Kristen, you know, I think I'm on the record here. I think you know how we feel.

0:18:35 Kristen: Totally. Um, yeah. Well, okay. I just, I wanted to reach out and just kinda... You know, just be like, I'm alive, you're alive. And I was kind of thinking, and I hope that we can do this in a way that feels good. But I wanna come back to church with you guys some Sunday, but just once. And just to pop in and kinda see what it's like, you know, for my cleric classes and Bobby is my teacher now. So I just wanted to let you guys know and I'd love to, maybe we could get-

0:19:09 Brennan: You see they look at each other with this feverish kind of look. You see your mom goes,

0:19:16 Bobby Dawn: Well, that'd be wonderful, Kristen.

0:19:18 Kristen: Yeah.

0:19:19 Bobby Dawn: That'd be wonderful. You know, a lot of people left the church these last couple months.

0:19:25 Kristen: Really?

0:19:26 Bobby Dawn: You know, long night, no sun. You know, I know you might think this is stupid, but... I know that you're worshiping another god, but isn't it kinda funny that Helio chose you and you were the one to bring the daytime back? That doesn't feel special at all to you? It doesn't feel like maybe... Maybe you got it wrong.

0:19:53 Kristen: Well, it wasn't just me, it was all the PhotosyntheKIDs. Murph holds back a laugh. He sticks his tongue out.

0:20:00 Emily: [cackling] Look at Murph. Murph wiggles his eyebrows. [Ally chuckling]

0:20:04 Ap: Yeah, you're welcome to come by church anytime you want.

0:20:06 Kristen: Yeah, great. Well, it was great to see y'all.

0:20:09 Ap: Yeah, just let us know.

0:20:10 Brennan: You see Bucky has dinner there and he's got his little paladin longsword. But you see he sort of looks over at the glowing kind of shards of twilight in your pocket. Looks over and is just like, [bright humming]

0:20:25 Bucky: Is that your crystal?

0:20:27 Kristen: No, no, these are um… These are the shards of my god, Cassandra. The God of Doubt and Uncertainty.

0:20:36 Brennan: Bucky raises a hand and you see that Mac, your dad, grabs his hand really hard and says, [bright humming stops]

0:20:41 Mac: Okay, that's enough. We'll treat ya to lunch, Kristen.

0:20:46 Kristen: Cool, thank you.

0:20:46 Mac: So, we'll leave it at the counter.

0:20:47 Kristen: Can I get a roast beef sandwich to go, a potato salad to go. [Brennan and Siobhan giggle]

0:20:53 Kristen: Four orders of fries. Do you have mudslides?

0:20:58 Mac: What a piece… [irritated grumbling]

0:21:01 Brennan: Sort of mutter, take your siblings and leaves.

0:21:03 Ally: Okay.

0:21:04 Brennan: Okay, that's your relationship check there. Go ahead and roll a d6 for me, if you'd be so kind.

0:21:11 Ally: Okay. Two.

0:21:13 Brennan: You go ahead and...

0:21:14 Ally: That's how many orders of fries I got?

0:21:15 Brennan: That's how many orders of fries you got. Is there anything else at the end of your–

0:21:18 Ally: Final roll is for the campaign.

0:21:20 Brennan: Got it, for the presidential campaign. Go ahead and roll, DC is 20.

0:21:23 Ally: Okay, DC 20. And this is?

0:21:24 Brennan: Persuasion.

0:21:25 Ally: Persuasion.

0:21:26 Emily: Can I give them a Bardic for this? Because I am a security detail.

0:21:27 Brennan: Yes you can.

0:21:29 Ally: Yes! That's d8?

0:21:29 Brennan: Yes.

0:21:31 Ally: All right, okay. I get advantage, I'm gonna use the advantage from the first popularity.

0:21:36 Brennan: Cool. Hell, yeah.

0:21:38 Ally: Nat 20!

0:21:39 Brennan: Woo, baby!

0:21:39 Emily: Woo!

0:21:41 Ally: I still have this little girlie. All right, fantastic.

0:21:45 Brennan: Kristen, you got your German Shepherd. You're hitting the bricks.

0:21:47 Ally: Walking through the halls.

0:21:49 Brennan: The uphill battle that Kipperlilly is fighting is the reaction that all of you had to her is the reaction that a lot of people have to her. And you can see anytime you're with her in the cafeteria or you're around the other Rat Grinders, especially– but primarily from Kipperlilly, you can just sense this boiling fucking rage. That as people chanting your name.

0:22:13 Kristen: Ha, ha, stop!

0:22:15 Brennan: Word's gotten out, like, “Applebees, it's always happy hour!” 'Cause word has gotten out that you are acing cleric classes with a dead god. And it's just like–

0:22:27 Kristen: She's not dead!

0:22:28 Ally: I hold up my shards whenever I can.

0:22:31 Kristen: She's not dead!

0:22:31 Kristen: Kiss and drugs!

0:22:33 All: [chanting] Kiss and drugs! Kiss and drugs!

0:22:36 Brennan: And people are still talking-

0:22:36 Ally: That's my campaign promise.

0:22:39 Brennan: People are always taking literature at Fabian's lo-fi study hours. Like, all the kids that would normally not even pay attention to student government are coming to hang out at Seacaster Manor and just getting a thing on the way out the door.

0:22:52 Ally: I'm in my Wranglers and now I'm into painting. I'm doing really bad paintings.

0:22:57 Brennan: You see-

0:22:57 Emily: Oh, but it's so soothing to watch them.

0:22:59 Ally: Yeah!

0:23:00 Brennan: You see there's actually a confrontation one day. All of you are in the cafeteria and actually have a moment when a big chant of "Kiss and Drugs" like, "It's always happy hour at Applebees" comes up in the middle of Kipperlilly doing a little presentation in the cafeteria.

0:23:17 Ally: [awkward] Ooh.

0:23:19 Brennan: And walking by your table, Kipperlilly turns over and goes,

0:23:22 Kipperlilly: I just wanna say congratulations on your sloganeering. It seems like it's really working.

0:23:27 Kristen: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that, Kipperlilly. My friend's doing a bunch of stuff with the Apiary Club, it seems cool.

0:23:36 Kipperlilly: Mm. [to Riz] I know you're involved in a lot of the extracurriculars. That's really exciting.

0:23:38 Riz: Yeah.

0:23:39 Kristen: Thanks.

0:23:39 Riz: You are too, right?

0:23:41 Kipperlilly: Yes, I'm in all of them.

0:23:41 Riz: Put in a few orders, yeah.

0:23:45 Kristen: For the Devil's Honey? What are you trying to forget, Kipperlilly? [Emily busts out laughing] Murph and Siobhan open their mouths in shock.

0:23:50 Brennan: Give me Intimidation.

0:23:51 Emily: You do have a Bardic still, 'cause you didn't use it.

0:23:54 Ally: 12. Six, that's 18. Plus three, 21. [tense music building]

0:24:03 Kipperlilly: It's really nice how charmed everyone is, by how little you fucking care. I guess egg on my face for wanting something.

0:24:14 Kristen: What do you want?

0:24:15 Kipperlilly: I want you to go fuck yourself.

0:24:17 Fabian: Whoa, relax!

0:24:19 Kristen: Security detail! Security detail! Security detail!

0:24:23 Emily: I Smite Kipperlilly!

0:24:25 Brennan: There's actually, I think a moment.

0:24:27 Fig: [on her earpiece] Conor Counterspell!

0:24:29 Brennan: He's like reconstituting himself in the void like Dr. Manhattan.

0:24:33 Conor Counterspell: When body blasted to bits becomes, Conor Counterspell...

0:24:39 Kristen: It's okay, you've been dead a long time. You've been dead a long time.

0:24:43 Brennan: You see there's a true square up moment where you guys get up from your table.

0:24:46 Fabian: 'Sup? 'Sup?

0:24:49 Gorgug: I have five questions for you. 'Sup?

0:24:50 Ivy: Relax, darling. No one needs to see it.

0:24:51 Brennan: You see that Oisín goes, Oisín: Guys this is stupid. This is stupid, come on, come on.

0:24:55 Brennan: You hiss and Mary Ann Skuttle goes,

0:24:55 Mary Ann: You hissing?

0:24:59 Murph: Riz doesn't look at Mary Ann.

0:25:01 Riz: Yeah, what of it?

0:25:02 Murph: Just not making eye contact. Looking past her at Oisín.

0:25:05 Emily: Can I Message Mary Ann and be like,

0:25:07 Fig: You could do so much better than these.

0:25:10 Mary Ann: How do you mean?

0:25:11 Ally: You're just really fucking cool.

0:25:13 Siobhan: Yeah, we love Mary Ann.

0:25:14 Emily: You could fucking run with us.

0:25:15 Gorgug: Guys, I think she's too far gone. [Brennan and Emily laugh]

0:25:18 Ally: Now whenever I see Kipperlilly I go– [mimes dipping something and raising it above their mouth]

0:25:22 Riz: Everyone, don't fuck with Mary Ann. Don't even try to talk to her.

0:25:26 Fabian: Honestly, I'm not afraid of any of the other ones. Only Mary Ann.

0:25:29 Riz: I tried to tackle Gorgug and it just didn't happen. And she just tackled–

0:25:32 Zac: Gorgug is looking at Mary Ann, touching his Potion of Fire Giant.

0:25:37 Brennan: Your Giant's Strength?

0:25:38 Mary Ann: Is that mango soda?

0:25:43 Gorgug: Is it mango soda? This freak thinks it's mango– [Zac breaks into laughter]

0:25:47 Kristen: Oh my gosh, dude! Gorgug!

0:25:49 Fig: We're trying to recruit her, Gorgug!

0:25:51 Fabian: Gorgug's going full bully.

0:25:53 Fig: We're trying to recruit her!

0:25:54 Gorgug: She beat the shit outta me! She beat the shit outta me!

0:25:56 Adaine: [holding him back] It’s not worth it! It’s not worth it!

0:25:58 Fabian: Nah, let him cook! Let him cook!

0:26:00 Riz: We're not ready.

0:26:01 Ally: [quietly to Siobhan] Do you have the magical item?

0:26:04 Siobhan: Yeah, I cast Enlarge/Reduce on it and reduce it down to size. So it's half the size and an eighth of the weight. [hands Ally a card]

0:26:09 Murph: What? What is this?

0:26:10 Ally: This is something from the Vulture King.

0:26:12 Murph: What does it have to do with Mary Ann?

0:26:14 Ally: No, people get a disadvantage on all skill checks.

0:26:18 Brennan: Mary Ann sort of regards all of you, and Buddy says,

0:26:20 Bu: Hey, hey, everybody. Let's just walk in the light of Helio. We don't need to cause ruckus.

0:26:26 Kristen: He's almost right. [Murph and Brennan laugh]

0:26:30 Ally: I think I got Mary Ann a big Squishmallow seahorse stuffed animal and I go,

0:26:35 Kristen: Hey Mary Ann, I um… We are trying to be bigger people– [Gorgug scoffs]

0:26:41 Kristen: –and I just thought of you when I saw this at the store. [Gorgug scoffs again]

0:26:44 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Persuasion check.

0:26:47 Zac: Gorgug is livid. [laughs]

0:26:49 Emily: Yeah, ugh.

0:26:49 Siobhan: This is Gorgug's nemesis.

0:26:50 Ally: 18.

0:26:50 Brennan: 18, you see that she takes it and goes,

0:26:54 Mary Ann: I have this one.

0:26:55 Kristen: Oh, okay. That's fine.

0:26:57 Gorgug: So you don't need it?

0:26:58 Kristen: 'Cause you could have twins.

0:26:59 Mary Ann: I'll give it to Toy Bank.

0:27:00 Brennan: And you see that she walks off.

0:27:01 Kristen: Okay. [to the Bad Kids] I'm just trying to get us giving them gifts in the mix, so maybe we can–

0:27:05 Riz: We're not ready, okay? [Brennan laughs]

0:27:08 Kristen: Okay, okay, you're right.

0:27:08 Riz: We're not ready.

0:27:09 Kristen: We're not ready.

0:27:11 Riz: You haven't seen what I've seen. She's got that dog in her.

0:27:15 Kristen: She does?

0:27:16 Fabian: Yes, I'm not afraid of any of the other ones. [pointing emphatically on every syllable] Just that one.

0:27:19 Adaine: That's wild, because I feel like I could take her. She's like half of my height.

0:27:24 Riz: No, no, no.

0:27:25 Fig: That's why I feel like we need to take her away from them. We need to separate her, isolate her from the group, get her on our side.

0:27:29 Ally: Yeah.

0:27:31 Fabian: She's the only one we need to buy gifts for.

0:27:32 Fig: Yes, exactly.

0:27:33 Gorgug: I hate her, I don't know.

0:27:35 Adaine: The wizard? The wizard seems pretty cool.

0:27:37 Kristen: Yeah, who doesn't want twin seahorses?

0:27:39 Brennan: As you say that, give me a little Perception check. Siobhan rolls and shakes her head no.

0:27:43 Ally: Come on!

0:27:44 Zac: Flash of Genius?

0:27:46 Ally: Yeah! Or Guidance? Then you get two d4s. Or what's your Flash of Genius?

0:27:50 Zac: It just adds three.

0:27:53 Siobhan: Eh, okay.

0:27:54 Lou: Bardic? Bardic Inspiration, add a d8?

0:27:57 Emily: Do you want another Bardic?

0:27:57 Ally: It's a five.

0:27:58 Emily: Do you want another Bardic?

0:28:00 Ally: We gotta know what the hottie thinks of you, Adaine!

0:28:03 Emily: Look, we're trying to make this romance happen.

0:28:06 Zac: We're literally aiming Adaine's head.

0:28:08 Ally: Yeah, we're like, oh, look at that!

0:28:09 Siobhan: That's a dirty 20.

0:28:11 Lou: We got it there.

0:28:11 Brennan: A dirty 20.

0:28:12 Siobhan: I rolled a four.

0:28:13 Brennan: Oh, you rolled a four and got to a dirty 20.

0:28:15 Siobhan: With my friend's help.

0:28:17 Brennan: So everyone, [stammering] actually. Everyone has to point out to Adaine that Oisín has a finger up, like he's waiting to make a point. But as he does, you see, as you make eye contact, he Messages you and just goes, Oisín: Sorry.

0:28:32 Brennan: Like he’s apologizing for his friends. And he just moves away. You see they all head over to the vending machine, Mary Ann gets a mango soda and they all head out.

0:28:39 Ally: Do you guys think Mary Ann should be on the Complicated Women Podcast?

0:28:41 Fabian: Oh, definitely.

0:28:41 Adaine: Absolutely not. I don't think she's complicated at all.

0:28:45 Riz: It's not that complicated, she's just so strong.

0:28:47 Fig: That's what's so thrilling about her.

0:28:48 Riz: She's gonna kill us all.

0:28:50 Fig: A lack of complexity.

0:28:51 Kristen: But an hour of her talking?

0:28:53 Zac: Gorgug punches a wall.

0:28:55 Fabian: Gorgug!

0:28:57 Riz: Gorgug knows. Gorgug, you're not ready yet.

0:29:00 Fig: Although, I have to be honest, I've been self producing the Complicated Women's Podcast.

0:29:04 Kristen: Wait, wait, it's you!

0:29:04 Fig: It's me.

0:29:05 Fabian: What? Are you all three women?

0:29:05 Kristen: Has it been you?

0:29:08 Fabian: Are you Sandra–

0:29:08 Kristen: You've been all 40 complicated women?

0:29:11 Fig: I've been all 40 complicated women.

0:29:12 Gorgug: And their guy producer?

0:29:14 Fig: And their guy producer, yeah.

0:29:17 Brennan: Let's continue moving on in downtime. We've got Fig, Gorgug, and Riz to go if anyone wants to jump in.

0:29:22 Zac: My rolls are pretty simple.

0:29:23 Brennan: Cool, let's do it.

0:29:24 Zac: All right. Barbarian first?

0:29:28 Brennan: Yeah, we'll do Athletics.

0:29:28 Zac: Do I do a...

0:29:29 Brennan: You don't do advantage on this one.

0:29:31 Lou: You're good, dude.

0:29:33 Zac: 18 on the die plus eight.

0:29:34 Emily: Woo!

0:29:34 Brennan: Ooh, baby!

0:29:36 Zac: 26 on that.

0:29:36 Siobhan: Gorgeous.

0:29:37 Lou: [whispering to Ally] I told him he'd do good.

0:29:37 Ally: And he did it.

0:29:38 Lou: And then he did it.

0:29:38 Brennan: That is an A-plus barbarian, Porter could not be happier.

0:29:41 Zac: I'm in the class picturing Murie… What's her name?

0:29:45 Ally: Mary Ann. Ally/Siobhan: Mary Ann.

0:29:47 Zac: Mary Ann as Porter.

0:29:48 Brennan: He's like,

0:29:48 Porter: Now use the punching bag. I want you to picture archnemesis. You know, it can be a dragon, a lich, an eel.

0:29:56 Gorgug: Mango soda. [punches]

0:29:58 Brennan: Bam! Sand blasts out the other side.

0:30:01 Porter: All right, mango soda really does it for you. Not my preferred flavor.

0:30:04 Gorgug: Don't talk to me!

0:30:06 Porter: All right. Let him be! Everyone give him space!

0:30:09 Gorgug: Ah! Ah!

0:30:11 Zac: Twirling around with my fists.

0:30:12 Ally: Don't talk to me!

0:30:13 Zac: Spinning.

0:30:13 Brennan: Don't talk to me. Mango soda! Incredible. A+ for barbarian. Go ahead and give me artificer. And with your MCAT it's just one roll with advantage.

0:30:23 Siobhan: Oh, stunning.

0:30:26 Zac: Stunning. Another 18 on the die plus, all right, now I add a shit load.

0:30:31 Brennan: Your double proficiency, right?

0:30:32 Zac: Yeah, so 18 plus 13, 31.

0:30:35 Brennan: Oh my god!

0:30:35 Ally: Amazing! So legible.

0:30:38 Lou: It's that and Murph's d4.

0:30:38 Siobhan: He's a freaking legend.

0:30:39 Lou: Just on fire this week.

0:30:41 Emily: Also, Murph's been rolling the… whatever you've been rolling...

0:30:44 Brennan: Henry is blown away. And we formally unlock the barbificer subclass.

0:30:50 Siobhan: Yeah!

0:30:51 Emily: Yes!

0:30:52 Brennan: You got an A+ in barbarian, A+ in artificer, and there's actually a moment where Porter and Henry square up in the gym to watch you kind of reveal– What's this new technology that Gorgug's got going on that's like, the culmination of all of this work?

0:31:08 Zac: In trying to combine the barbarian and artificer stuff, has like figured out the ways in which to like, I think in our conversation about it, it's sort of gadgety. It's very Batman-y. So he has, I think just a vest that has a bunch of little gadgets on it. It has, I think, Cloaca's brain in it.

0:31:31 Brennan: Ha, ha, ha!

0:31:33 Cloaca: [squawks] I suck!

0:31:35 Gorgug: Gotta work on that self-talk.

0:31:37 Zac: And he just pulls out like...

0:31:37 Ally: [laughing] Self-talk!

0:31:40 Zac: I'm gonna test it out and use the scanner.

0:31:42 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

0:31:43 Zac: And I'm gonna use it on Henry.

0:31:45 Brennan: You use the scanner. [trilling] So one of your bonus action things you can do is you have a certain number of uses of your battle gadgets. What information about Henry are you trying to glean?

0:31:54 Zac: So I can automatically discover all information within one of the following categories. Resistances, immunities, damage vulnerabilities, creature's condition immunities, creature type. I'm just gonna do damage resistances.

0:32:09 Brennan: So you see that Henry right now has an immunity to lightning damage, resistance to poison, and resistance to cold.

0:32:18 Gorgug: Wow, okay. Whoa, you got a lot of stuff on you.

0:32:20 Henry: Hey, gotta stay safe. I got a couple things going on. All right, well here's the big test. Try to, if you can, enter into your sort of barbarian battle state, while keeping one of your artificer effects running.

0:32:37 Zac: So effects-wise, you mean like concentration?

0:32:41 Brennan: Yeah, like concentration.

0:32:42 Zac: Okay, so I think Gorgug is just going to, I'll use Enlarge on myself to become huge.

0:32:47 Ally: Oh!

0:32:52 Zac: Go into a rage and then...? Or enlarge and then go into a rage?

0:32:55 Brennan: Enlarge and then go into a rage.

0:32:55 Zac: Yes, okay.

0:32:57 Brennan: With your Primal Focus ability, you still can't cast spells during rage, but you can concentrate on them during rage and you can drop rage as a free action to be able to like cast a reaction spell or do other stuff like that.

0:33:12 Zac: So I just like pick up a boulder off the ground and just heave it.

0:33:16 Brennan: Yeah we see this like [electric buzzing] as a matter generator makes you grow to about 10 feet in size.

0:33:23 Gorgug: [deep voice] Oh, yeah.

0:33:25 Brennan: And you fly into a rage, grab a boulder and just, wha!

0:33:29 Gorgug: Huah!

0:33:29 Brennan: Hurl it across the gym. Porter goes,

0:33:30 Porter: That's what I'm fucking talking about!

0:33:33 Gorgug: This is what I was talking about.

0:33:35 Porter: I'm sorry, I...

0:33:35 Gorgug: The whole time!

0:33:37 Porter: I apologize.

0:33:39 Brennan: And you see...

0:33:40 Emily: Porter ended up kind of having some good advice for you.

0:33:43 Gorgug: I get it, I just can't process that feeling right now!

0:33:47 Brennan: Henry goes,

0:33:47 Henry: This is incredible! For most people rage really rattles and confuses them! You're able to do complex mathematics and keep these engines running all while you're, you know, freaking out.

0:34:00 Gorgug: Math is pretty metal when you think about it.

0:34:04 Brennan: Amazing. So, those are your academics, both A+'s. Any other tracks you wanna run here?

0:34:08 Zac: Okay.

0:34:09 Brennan: Oh, and you Owlbears as well.

0:34:10 Zac: Can I just do a mystery check?

0:34:12 Brennan: Yeah, do a mystery check!

0:34:12 Zac: On Henry?

0:34:13 Brennan: What kind of skill do you wanna use? Investigation, History?

0:34:18 Zac: Can I justify a tinkerer's check in regards to Henry?

0:34:22 Brennan: Yes, you can.

0:34:22 Zac: Okay.

0:34:23 Brennan: Cool, cool, cool.

0:34:24 Zac: 'Cause I just am still trying to figure out why he had all that Grix stuff, what his relationship is to...

0:34:29 Brennan: To Grix and everything like that?

0:34:29 Zac: To Grix.

0:34:31 Brennan: Mm-hmm. DC for this is 15.

0:34:34 Zac: So, 17. I can't Flash of Genius myself?

0:34:37 Brennan: Yeah, you can Flash of Genius yourself, yeah. But that will be the one use for downtime.

0:34:41 Zac: Got it.

0:34:41 Brennan: What does that make it? That makes it an 18?

0:34:42 Zac: 20.

0:34:43 Brennan: Makes it a 20, okay. There's a period after class where you've sort of gotten access to this motherboard, looking at it. You begin to look at Henry's notes. First of all, you do see some correspondence in his desk that is like a note from Ruben asking for a ride home. Who is his nephew.

0:35:06 Zac: Oh. Can I look for any evidence of the cloud drive?

0:35:12 Brennan: Oh, the Cloud Rider Engine here? You don't find any evidence here of a Cloud Rider anything. You look at Henry's desk and you see that there are some schematics having to do with basically him in the absence of Arthur Aguefort being here, being the one to try and repair Grix. Or reconstitute Grix. It doesn't look like he's highly prioritized it. It's mostly just Grix's broken stuff in a drawer waiting to be put back together. You even get the impression, based on some of Henry's notes that he's like, well, I could rush to put this principal back together or I could just wait for Arthur to get back and do it.

0:35:50 Zac: Mm-hmm.

0:35:51 Brennan: As you're in the room you hear something outside. You hear the approach of Henry coming to class. And you kind of, I think, maybe even actually- scratch staying behind. You came early when you knew there wouldn't be a period in here. 'Cause it's a little bit less suspicious to be found here if you're just like early for class.

0:36:07 Zac: Got it.

0:36:08 Brennan: And you hear Henry approaching. And without hearing any footsteps approaching, you hear a sudden voice going,

0:36:16 Voice: Mr. Hopclap.

0:36:17 Brennan: And you hear the voice of Jace Stardiamond, the vice principal. And you hear him say,

0:36:21 Henry: Oh, Jace, hi, hello.

0:36:24 Brennan: And you hear Jace say,

0:36:24 Jace: Hi, sorry to grab you. I just wanted to speak really briefly. I got your letter about Ruben. Obviously, you know, you're working here with family and that's happened in the past. You know, we've had other teachers that worked here with siblings or other things like that. I just wanted to assure you that I didn't have time to get to every sort of point in the letter, but I just wanted to assure you that we're monitoring everything and it's all fine.

0:36:49 Brennan: And you see that Henry goes,

0:36:49 Henry: Okay. Uh... some of my questions were... I'd love to actually have a meeting, if we could, to go over it.

0:37:00 Brennan: You see Jace goes,

0:37:00 Jace: Well, I mean, you know, it's pretty busy. I think the easier thing to do would be to just meet at the end of the school year when Principal Aguefort returns and do things that way.

0:37:10 Brennan: You see Henry says,

0:37:11 Henry: Right, but some of these concerns are a little more...

0:37:13 Brennan: And you hear a sudden [whooshing] of, like, a Misty Step, a little short range teleportation, And you hear Jace say,

0:37:18 Jace: I think I was pretty fucking clear. We'll talk about it at the end of the year, Hopclap. I'd love for you to keep your little fuckin' nose out of other people's business for the time being. How does that sound?

0:37:33 Henry: Mr. Stardiamond, if I've done anything to offend–

0:37:36 Jace: Well clearly, you have. You're a brand new teacher. Maybe pipe down and let veteran educators at this school do their fucking job. Thank you.

0:37:51 Brennan: And you hear Jace teleport.

0:37:54 Zac: I put my headphones on.

0:37:56 Ally: Oh nice!

0:37:57 Zac: And I'm just like hitting two bars together. [metal clanging]

0:38:01 Brennan: A very rattled Henry comes in. And is like,

0:38:04 Henry: [eyes wide] Gorgug. You're a little early.

0:38:08 Gorgug: Hey, I'm just uh… I'm just working on school. I got a lot of school.

0:38:16 Henry: Yeah, what's sort of the utility of hitting these two bars together?

0:38:19 Gorgug: Well, you know, when I think about it, I think how music is in everything. And um... And that's something, I'm thinking that'll eventually bend back around to...

0:38:34 Henry: Music has clearly been a key for you in uniting strong emotion with pattern and analysis. I mean, music theory is such a beautiful marriage of what is fundamentally primal and then what is extremely cerebral.

0:38:50 Gorgug: Yeah.

0:38:50 Henry: And I think that's a beautiful way. So don't, hey–

0:38:54 Gorgug: That's what I was saying.

0:38:54 Henry: You saw something that no one else saw. So far be it for me to question your methods. In fact–

0:38:59 Brennan: You see he gets two bars and starts banging 'em together. [metal clanging]

0:39:02 Henry: Let's just see where this takes us.

0:39:04 Gorgug: Okay. Yeah.

0:39:04 Henry: Okay. Music everywhere. All right.

0:39:08 Brennan: You see that other students start to file in.

0:39:10 Siobhan: In the wizard class we're like, what is happening?

0:39:13 Brennan: Tiberia summons an 18-foot construct to be like,

0:39:16 Tiberia: Destroy the artificer class!

0:39:19 Gorgug: Ah!

0:39:21 Brennan: Hell, yeah. Any other tracks? Owlbear?

0:39:23 Zac: I'll do Owlbear.

0:39:23 Brennan: Cool.

0:39:27 Zac: 15.

0:39:28 Brennan: 15 is gonna be a failure.

0:39:30 Zac: Yeah.

0:39:31 Siobhan: He needs a 20 to succeed?

0:39:33 Brennan: He needs a 20 to succeed.

0:39:34 Siobhan: I can't help you, brother. I'm sorry.

0:39:35 Zac: That's okay. I'm trying to think if I care about Owlbears.

0:39:38 Emily: I feel like the narrative of Owlbears not doing well is very funny.

0:39:44 Zac: I don't actually ruin our chances for things if I fail out of Owlbears.

0:39:50 Brennan: You already had a failure, so you risk being cut from the team.

0:39:54 Zac: And if I'm cut from the team...

0:39:57 Brennan: It's unclear what the mechanical penalties of that would be, but–

0:40:00 Lou: [in Fabian’s voice] [joke threateningly] The emotional ones would be great. [Emily laughs]

0:40:04 Ally: Mary Ann is in your head.

0:40:05 Siobhan: She's just sitting there drinking really spicy mango soda.

0:40:08 Zac: I just don't think I care about Owlbears. I'm just gonna let it go.

0:40:13 Ally: Classic junior year dilemma. All the soccer girls I knew.

0:40:16 Brennan: Given a choice between getting all the way to a rage – your fifth stress token becomes a rage token. There's some heavy consequences with doing that. But you elect not to push yourself and burn out.

0:40:30 Gorgug: Fabian, I don't really care about Owlbears. I'm sorry, I've felt this way for a long time.

0:40:36 Fabian: What do you mean you don't care about Owlbears?

0:40:38 Gorgug: I don't know if I ever did. I just felt like when the- it just sorta opened up to us and I don't know, I just felt like I should do it because I was gonna probably be good at it to a degree. But I just don't like it. I don't like doing it. [players laugh]

0:40:58 Gorgug: I don't like the vibe. Hanging out with all the-

0:41:00 Fabian: You don't like all the towel slapping we do? You love getting towel slapped, Gorgug.

0:41:05 Gorgug: There's a moment after every practice where you do your helicopter noise with the towel. [helicopter sound]

0:41:11 Fabian: And I find you. Hiya-ta!

0:41:13 Gorgug: I am hiding from you.

0:41:14 Fabian: Yes, I know. That's the fun part! It's a game we play.

0:41:18 Gorgug: I just don't know if I have it in me to keep on the team.

0:41:24 Fabian: What are you even gonna do after school now?

0:41:26 Gorgug: Like, go to sleep. Um, maybe work out what's going on with our school. See if there's any sort of large gods interfering with our class.

0:41:38 Fabian: Yeah, I guess that's important.

0:41:39 Gorgug: I know it's where we would hang out.

0:41:41 Fabian: Yes! Exactly! It's like, if you're not on the team, like, I guess we just, you know, anytime we hang out we're always trying to save the world at the same time. It's just like, this was a nice place where you and I could just be bros and I could find you and slap you as hard as I could with a towel.

0:41:58 Gorgug: Do you wanna see what it feels like?

0:42:00 Fabian: Well, I never do because I always dodge you.

0:42:02 Gorgug: Well, just take one, okay?

0:42:04 Fabian: Oh, you want me to just take one?

0:42:05 Gorgug: Yeah.

0:42:05 Ally: Are you still gonna quit? [laughing]

0:42:07 Gorgug: I'm quitting no matter what. [Emily laughs]

0:42:09 Fabian: Wait.

0:42:10 Gorgug: If you can tell me this doesn't hurt, then I'll try to stay on the team.

0:42:13 Fabian: Okay, great. Go ahead.

0:42:14 Gorgug: All right. Ready, set. [snapping] [Fabian groans in pain] [Emily laughing]

0:42:20 Gorgug: Did that hurt?

0:42:21 Fabian: [sniffling] [wiping his face] No. [cast laughs]

0:42:25 Gorgug: Did that hurt?

0:42:25 Fabian: [crying] No.

0:42:27 Gorgug: You're crying.

0:42:27 Fabian: No, it doesn't hurt!

0:42:29 Gorgug: Really? [snapping]

0:42:32 Fabian: [groaning] It hurts so bad!

0:42:32 Gorgug: I'm sorry.

0:42:34 Zac: I Cure Wounds.

0:42:36 Fabian: Ah! Wait, you can do that now?

0:42:38 Gorgug: Yeah, I trying to, like, learn how to do other stuff.

0:42:40 Fabian: Okay. Well, I'll miss you.

0:42:43 Gorgug: I'll miss you too.

0:42:45 Fabian: I mean, I'll see you a lot.

0:42:46 Gorgug: Yeah, I'll see you all the time.

0:42:49 Riz: Hey guys, I'm still the equipment manager. [cast laughs]

0:42:53 Murph: I give you both fresh towels.

0:42:56 Brennan: Incredible. Gorthalax–

0:42:57 Emily: I was actually skipping school and smoking in the locker room.

0:43:00 Lou: Oh, okay.

0:43:00 Zac: In here? Is that why there's so much smoke?

0:43:03 Ally: I'm in here, too. I'm kinda passing out some fliers.

0:43:06 Lou: Oh!

0:43:07 Brennan: Gorthalax remains professional, but you can tell is like deeply upset and disappointed.

0:43:17 Gorthalax: [sighing] You know. You have other ambitions and that's uh… That's fine. I just want you to know that you were very gifted at this.

0:43:30 Gorgug: Thank you. I… Yeah. Appreciate that.

0:43:34 Brennan: Okay. You see he says,

0:43:35 Gorthalax: No worries, you know. We got some big games coming up. We'll try to get someone off the bench who can replace you.

0:43:42 Riz: The equipment manager could be right here. Been at all the practices, watching all the stuff.

0:43:46 Gorgug: Just think about the story, though.

0:43:48 Riz: Think about the story!

0:43:49 Fabian: Yes, I do. Coach, I can't lie. I think The Ball.

0:43:51 Gorthalax: All right, The Ball, you're up.

0:43:53 Riz: Yes! Yeah!

0:43:54 Gorthalax: The Ball, you're up, you're up.

0:43:57 Brennan: Great, so you will be making a roll on the Owlbears track. [cast laughs]

0:44:02 Brennan: Incredible.

0:44:04 Emily: I was sitting there being like, maybe I should take a stress token to try and keep Gorgug on the team.

0:44:10 Lou: No, we've got it.

0:44:10 Brennan: No, it's a perfect story for junior year. Something's gotta drop. Plates have to fucking drop, man. There's too much shit. Anything else Gorgug or are you good with your tracks?

0:44:19 Zac: Can I try a relaxation?

0:44:21 Brennan: Yeah, try it. The DC is gonna be 25. But you can give it a shot. Nothing bad happens for failing.

0:44:28 Zac: Okay, then I just have to roll a nat 20.

0:44:29 Brennan: Cool.

0:44:32 Zac: Don't get it.

0:44:32 Brennan: No worries.

0:44:34 Ally: Can I try? Can I do a Hail Mary one too?

0:44:36 Brennan: Yeah, do a Hail Mary one.

0:44:37 Ally: With my Wisdom.

0:44:38 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it.

0:44:39 Ally: Okay. Failed it.

0:44:42 Brennan: I think what this means is you guys are spending some time hanging out and relaxing. It's just, it's not able to overcome the huge workload. Riz and Fig.

0:44:51 Murph: I got some simple ones. I'll just kick it off with academics.

0:44:54 Brennan: Let's do it.

0:44:55 Murph: Oo, really good. 31.

0:44:58 Brennan: Incredible, rogue A+.

0:44:59 Ally: Do you find the rogue teacher?

0:45:00 Murph: Yeah, I’m looking for the–

0:45:01 Brennan: [excited] Rogue teacher is DC 30. In quick succession, Siobhan gasps, Zac’s jaw drops, and Emily’s eyes widen as she starts clapping.

0:45:03 Brennan: Holy shit. [Ally claps]

0:45:05 Brennan: We are gonna hold onto that one for later.

0:45:07 Ally: What the fuck!

0:45:08 Brennan: But incredible. You find the name somewhere in the school resources of Eugenia Shadow, which is the rogue teacher's name. And what you find is information about when Eugenia Shadow died. [Emily gasps]

0:45:26 Murph: Ghost.

0:45:27 Brennan: And that, you feel like, is enough to know that somewhere, somehow, you will be able to track her down. So we'll come to that after downtime concludes. But that is huge. Well done Riz. Okay, rogue A+. Way to go.

0:45:32 Ally: Wow.

0:45:38 Murph: Great, then I'll do my extracurriculars with disadvantage.

0:45:43 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

0:45:44 Murph: 20, dirty 20.

0:45:45 Brennan: Dirty 20, incredible. Extracurriculars, flying colors.

0:45:49 Murph: I'm trying to think, if Kristen's doing okay with popularity I don't know that I need to worry about popularity so much.

0:45:52 Ally: Yeah.

0:45:56 Murph: Yeah, I'll do mystery.

0:45:58 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

0:45:59 Murph: I think we're trying to find out more about the Rat Grinders, maybe. And I think I'd like to look into the spring break stuff that's when they started ordering the honey. Then maybe I also wanna find out, try to find out like, if there was any meaning behind the High 5 Heroes. Like, if there was some adventure that they were on, that then caused them to become the Rat Grinders. Like, what traumatized them into cheesing the system.

0:46:29 Brennan: Go ahead, give me an Investigation. This is your third roll, so the DC starts at a 15.

0:46:34 Murph: Okay.

0:46:35 Brennan: But you can kind of think about that as is like, on a third mystery roll track, normally you'd get like a basic clue on a 15. So that's bumped up a little bit.

0:46:44 Murph: Got it.

0:46:44 Brennan: But it's like 20, 25, 30 is really what you're looking for.

0:46:47 Murph: That's gonna be a 23.

0:46:47 Brennan: 23. Looking at the Rat Grinders and specifically trying to follow the Devil's Honey track. On a 23 you don't find any big breakthrough, but you find a couple small things. Number one, you do find a little bit, as you're doing extracurriculars and the apiarist thing, you see Gertie is talking to you. And mentions like,

0:47:10 Gertie: Yeah, I mean the properties. I know that Kristen: ha, what a gal. Was talking about... Ally laughs silently.

0:47:19 Emily: [quietly] You don't deserve her. [Brennan laughs] Ally laughs silently.

0:47:23 Gertie: Was talking about Devil's Honey and it's interesting. I started looking up some things about its religious affiliation. Obviously it's– you know, devils are part of the cosmology of the Outer Planes. But the fascinating part of Devil's Honey in terms of why it makes you such a good liar is not only the sort of honeyed tongue, but the way it works is you are momentarily deceiving yourself.

0:47:49 Riz: Mm-hmm.

0:47:50 Gertie: Which is what makes you so convincing, because all the tells a person would have on their face are, for the moment of the lie, sort of erased as you believe as you speak it. What's amazing is they did studies on it about whether people needed to actually speak or not. And it turns out, even people just thinking a lie were able to lie effectively. Which, of course, you might think, well how- what's the use of that? But of course, there's a lot. For wizards that are casting a Message cantrip, or telepathic communication. And of course the biggest one, which is originally what the sort of original use of the Devil's Honey were, was to lie in prayer. : Hm.

0:48:27 Emily: Oh!

0:48:28 Siobhan: Is that how you could change the belief of, like what a god was the god of?

0:48:33 Emily: But even if you were experiencing doubt and you wanted to believe more, and the doubt was causing you existential anxiety, if you used it while praying, your faith would be strengthened. : Yeah.

0:48:46 Siobhan: What do they take in communion for Helio-

0:48:48 Emily: Are they having baklava at communion?

0:48:51 Siobhan: Yes, is it a baklava communion? : I think so.

0:48:54 Lou: Looks like we all have to go to church.

0:48:57 Emily: Now I'm interested in church. I freaking love baklava.

0:48:59 Brennan: On that 23 as well, I will say, as you are walking through the halls you see there's over in the student library, in the forbidden section Adaine is studying. You see Jawbone swings in, puts a big muffin in front of you and some snacks.

0:49:12 Adaine: Oh, you're too nice!

0:49:13 Jawbone: Aw, come on, kiddo, you're all right. Here, look at you. It's nice to see you looking a little bit well-rested. I actually hear you trancing upstairs. That's a nice change of pace.

0:49:23 Adaine: Yeah, sorry I talk when I trance.

0:49:27 Jawbone: Hey, it's all right.

0:49:28 Adaine: Um, yeah, no, Fabian dance battled my way to getting paid to be Elven Oracle. The way the laws work in Fallinel is absolutely wild. I guess if you just live forever you get–

0:49:38 Jawbone: If I had a copper piece for every time the structure of my life was changed by a dance battle.

0:49:43 Adaine: Right, and they have an unwritten constitution and it's like literally not written anywhere. They just remember it.

0:49:49 Jawbone: Yeah, mental tradition.

0:49:50 Adaine: Yeah, it's um... I think they may just make it up as they go along.

0:49:56 Jawbone: Kiddo, that's true for a lot more than just the Elven Constitution.

0:50:00 Adaine: I guess you're right.

0:50:02 Jawbone: All right, well, I gotta go do my office hours.

0:50:06 Brennan: As he walks he sees Riz in the hall and walks over being like,

0:50:09 Jawbone: Hey, Riz, how you doing there, kiddo?

0:50:11 Riz: You know, doing okay. All things considered. Things are going pretty good.

0:50:16 Jawbone: Yeah.

0:50:17 Riz: I did find out about [whispering] the rogue teacher.

0:50:24 Jawbone: Oo! Okay. That's pretty useful. One step closer to acing your classes for the year there.

0:50:30 Riz: Yeah. I'm just wondering, 'cause I know Copperlilly is one of the only other people that–

0:50:35 Jawbone: Kipperlilly.

0:50:35 Riz: Kipper. Copperlilly, why? Usually I'm the one who gets it right, ha.

0:50:40 Jawbone: It's all right.

0:50:40 Riz: Junior year. Kipperlilly is one of the only people that found the teacher, but the teacher found her. And I was just kinda wondering, was it during spring break last year that they...

0:50:56 Jawbone: No, it happened more recently, I believe. Let me double check.

0:51:00 Brennan: You see he goes into his office and goes through and you see he finds a little file in his desk for Kipperlilly, opens it and looks. And he says,

0:51:08 Jawbone: Yeah, no. There's no cheating, Riz. If she'd done it last year, it would have been her grades for last year. It happened this year.

0:51:14 Riz: Hm.

0:51:16 Ally: We just started.

0:51:17 Riz: Interesting.

0:51:18 Adaine: Yeah, it was like first day of school.

0:51:20 Brennan: You see he says,

0:51:20 Jawbone: Yeah, it happened 8:01 A.M. On the first day of school.

0:51:25 Adaine: Oh my god, the rogue teacher went and found her, then she applied to student body president.

0:51:31 Jawbone: Yeah, the first minute that it would have been allowable.

0:51:34 Adaine: Wait, did you say that the rogue teacher was a ghost?

0:51:36 Riz: Possessed, maybe?

0:51:37 Adaine: If they're a ghost, I can help you look for them.

0:51:40 Riz: I guess I'm just, I'm confused how somebody who is mostly just killing rats is finding the rogue teacher within a minute. Was there any... Ally turns away, silently laughing.

0:51:55 Siobhan: I massage Riz's shoulders.

0:51:57 Adaine: Oh, this is– How?

0:51:58 Riz: She just talks about things being fair and what not and that, to me, just doesn't seem that fair! But before they were the Rat Grinders, did they have any kinda big assignments or anything like that? It just seems strange to me that they would go from going on regular adventures to killing a bunch of rats in the woods. And then one of their adventuring party members died.

0:52:19 Jawbone: Yeah, very sad. Lucy was a really sweet young girl. You know, she and Yolanda are down in the morgue, down at City Hall right now. I think they got people trying to work on those runes that are preventing them from being raised. And it's very sad. I mean, you know, we're running out of time for Lucy, to be able to raise her. 'Cause a year, you know, we're not gonna be able to use the sort of easier spell. It's gonna get maybe impossible, so... You know, kiddo, I can't–

0:52:50 Brennan: I'm gonna say here, Riz, just with your passive Perception, you become aware that there are things in Kipperlilly's file that you saw there. It would mean stealing from Jawbone's office.

0:53:01 Zac: [laughs] That's fine.

0:53:02 Brennan: You see Jawbone says–

0:53:03 Lou: Ruthless.

0:53:04 Emily: I was hoping you'd go there.

0:53:06 Murph: Yeah, I do have– I mean with the Arcane Trickster, I believe my Mage Hand can be invisible now.

0:53:13 Brennan: Cool. If you wanna give me a Sleight of Hand check, go for it.

0:53:16 Murph: Cool, can I do like thieves' tools?

0:53:19 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:53:20 Murph: Cool. Nat 20.

0:53:24 Emily: Yes! Yes! Yes!

0:53:24 Ally: Okay, okay! Okay! I gleeked all over you and I'm so sorry. I just was so excited.

0:53:31 Brennan: Old Murph who, baby. I don't even recognize this man.

0:53:34 Emily: All he needed was some moon on his dice.

0:53:36 Murph: That's definitely true. I think Riz surprisingly easily lies to Jawbone. Just like,

0:53:43 Riz: [nodding, definitely not up to something] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. [starts snaking his hand around]

0:53:45 Brennan: Jawbone's like,

0:53:45 Jawbone: You know, she's not a bad kid. Furthermore, what's that noise? Is there something going on back there?

0:53:51 Riz: There are squirrels outside.

0:53:53 Jawbone: [sniffing] No.

0:53:55 Brennan: You see, you end up grabbing Kipperlilly's file. So, A+ on finding the rogue teacher. You have Kipperlilly's file. There's a lot to go through. Immediately what you see in Kipperlilly, just from a quick scan, is she's been coming to the guidance counselor since freshman year for anger issues. And even as of freshman year, you see your name in her file.

0:54:07 Emily: What?

0:54:20 Murph: Why? Why though?

0:54:21 Lou: She's got a crush on you, The Ball.

0:54:23 Emily: She's jealous.

0:54:23 Siobhan: She's in love with you.

0:54:24 Emily: She's jealous of you.

0:54:25 Lou: She’s in love with you, The Ball.

0:54:26 Brennan: So that's what you're able to look at right now. But you see a lot of Jawbone basically coming in and trying to help her with anger issues. But there's a lot left in there to explore. Continuing to move through downtime.

0:54:39 Murph: Real quick, I gotta do disadvantage, minus two Athletics for Owlbears. [Emily and Siobhan laugh]

0:54:43 Brennan: Here we go.

0:54:46 Murph: That's a seven.

0:54:47 Lou: Can I give you a Bardic?

0:54:49 Murph: You can if you want.

0:54:49 Emily: Oh, can I give you a Bardic also, 'cause it's for Gorthalax.

0:54:52 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it.

0:54:53 Emily: I was so worried about his sadness.

0:54:55 Brennan: The DC is 20, you're at a seven.

0:55:00 Murph: 11, I physically can't do it. Eight, ugh, 19.

0:55:04 Ally: Oh, Guidance.

0:55:06 Brennan: Uh Guidance-

0:55:07 Emily: We all would have gone to his first match.

0:55:09 Lou: We all would have been there.

0:55:11 Ally: 100%. My campaign manager.

0:55:14 Siobhan: You're one point away? I give you my d10 Portent. So you start with an eight, so it makes it a 20.

0:55:22 Emily: Yes! Okay!

0:55:25 Fabian: The Ball, are you ready?

0:55:27 Kristen: Hey, you stole from Jawbone?

0:55:29 Fig: I really respect Gorgug needing to leave, but Gorthalax needs a win.

0:55:33 Riz: All right, all right.

0:55:35 Gorgug: You're gonna be absolutely fine. Nothing bad is gonna happen.

0:55:38 Kristen: Hey, please don't take this the wrong way, but are you playing, or are you the ball in it? I just don't know sports.

0:55:42 Murph: Riz freaks out.

0:55:43 Kristen: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

0:55:45 Riz: I'm not the ball!

0:55:46 Adaine: I'm so glad you asked, 'cause I was so confused.

0:55:48 Kristen: I was just curious.

0:55:49 Riz: I'm The Ball, I'm not the ball!

0:55:50 Kristen: Okay, I just wanted to know going in, so I knew when to clap. Riz pinches his brow.

0:55:57 Brennan: Riz, you survive the season.

0:56:00 Ally: Hell, yeah.

0:56:01 Brennan: First couple games you like, every time you are not carted off of the field

0:56:06 Fabian: The Ball! [helicopter sounds as he swings a towel above his head]

0:56:09 Riz: Ah!

0:56:10 Brennan: Incredible. Fig, let's go to Fig.

0:56:13 Emily: Okay, okay. So.

0:56:16 Zac: The helicopter's landing. Lou laughs as he swings the imaginary towel again.

0:56:17 Emily: I have about five things I wanna do, but we're gonna make 'em real quick. I think the thing I'm gonna prioritize is, I think that I haven't felt like myself. And I think, I thought maybe it was 'cause Ayda was gone and then I thought maybe it was that I was cursed. But now I've decided that it's 'cause I haven't been working on music. And that's my path back to myself. So the most important priority is not going to bard class. I'm gonna go to Hell– Murph facepalms.

0:56:41 Emily: –to my recording studio, and I'm gonna write a super metal song called, "Dawn of Justice."

0:56:48 Ally: Yeah!

0:56:49 Emily: It's like a cosmic battle between devils and angels.

0:56:54 Zac: Hell, yeah.

0:56:55 Ally: So sick.

0:56:56 Brennan: Give me Performance. Give me a Performance check.

0:57:00 Emily: Okay. 18 plus 20 becomes a 38.

0:57:05 Siobhan: You have a 20?

0:57:06 Emily: Yeah.

0:57:06 Lou: You have a 20 in Performance?

0:57:08 Emily: I have a 20 in Performance. [Ally claps]

0:57:12 Emily: Much like the rogue teacher, we are going to have to come back to this after downtime. You write this song and I'm just gonna tell you that Rip, your sound engineer, has to stop at a certain point. He's like, Hey, we got the whole track. We got the whole thing in the can. I think something is... When you get out and look at the bottom of the Bottomless Pit, there is a light at the bottom.

0:57:40 Emily: Is it like a bad thing or a good thing?

0:57:42 Brennan: It looks like a bright, fiery yellow light in distant space. And looking into it, circling up through the Bottomless Pit, is a small rotating gust. Like a dancing tornado of shattered red crystal.

0:58:02 Emily: Okay. Is that bad? Can I have Kristen come down and be like,

0:58:08 Fig: Kristen, is this bad? I'm like trying to speak to the uncorrupted goddess, but am I just making it worse?

0:58:17 Brennan: No Religion check necessary. You do not believe Fig is making it worse.

0:58:20 Ally: Okay. Is she busting up the rage and fighting it?

0:58:23 Brennan: Give me Religion real quick.

0:58:24 Ally: Okay. That is a 25.

0:58:27 Brennan: Ankarna's infernal domain, when she died became unclaimed as her body floated dead in the Astral Plane. It looks like Fig has, in her role as a archdevil, through the creation of the most metal song of all time. "Dawn of Justice" is like, how many minutes is this song?

0:58:49 Emily: I think it's like eight minutes. I think that also, in order for Gorgug to play the drum part I've written, Adaine has to cast Simulacrum, so there's two Gorgugs.

0:59:00 Brennan: Insane.

0:59:00 Siobhan: Absolutely.

0:59:01 Zac: I have to Enlarge one and Reduce one.

0:59:04 Ally: Yeah, it's double drums.

0:59:05 Brennan: So you have a small you sitting in your giant lap as you all.

0:59:08 Gorgug: Ah!

0:59:10 Gorgug: [tiny scream]

0:59:11 Ally: It's one drum set, but it's you with a Babybjörn of the little you like, gah, gah, gah.

0:59:16 Siobhan: I'm behind them casting Chromatic Orbs, so there's just like fireworks in different colors–

0:59:21 Brennan: A lot of the sound is actually like cymbals being destroyed and ripped apart.

0:59:25 Ally: And we're there reloading cymbals.

0:59:28 Emily: And I think we get Riz to go full goblin Jimmy Page on the– [Ally laughs]

0:59:36 Ally: I bet your old manager is reaching back out. This is a banger.

0:59:39 Emily: She's gonna be hearing from me. That's on my to-do list.

0:59:42 Brennan: This first track for whatever your self-released Bottomless Pit Records album is gonna be, 30 is the highest, is the cap, so you rolled a 38. This song–

0:59:53 Lou: [softly] Plus 20?

0:59:54 Ally: [shakes their head] So sick.

0:59:56 Brennan: ...taps you into your position as the Archdevil of Rebellion. And essentially what you see, religiously, has happened here, is Ankarna's domain that was just living in absence, in the death of this goddess has been pulled into the Bottomless Pit. So on an infernal level, Fig has basically said, no other deity, no other archdevil may claim this. I am holding onto this. This vacant space occupied by this deity is mine.

1:00:27 Emily: So, in this moment, this was something that I was gonna try and do in class, but actually this is kinda the perfect moment for it. I took a new spell and I think I want to kind of, as I'm casting this spell, take this fractured energy. It's Find Greater Steed. I wanted to try to create one of the horses.

1:00:50 Ally: Yes!

1:00:50 Siobhan: Yes!

1:00:52 Ally: That you have the bridle for.

1:00:53 Emily: Yeah.

1:00:53 Ally: Or that we know about the bridle for.

1:00:55 Emily: I basically wanna create one of these horses, these flaming horses that she once had carry her chariot.

1:01:05 Brennan: This massive fiery stallion appears in the Bottomless Pit. It rears up in this field of broken brimstone and fiery sky. And as it rears up, for the first time this field of Hell is illuminated by sunlight. So it's the fire of the mane but it is the sun rays. And it goes. [screeching]

1:01:25 Brennan: And screams as fire and light burst from its mouth. And you see Baby goes.

1:01:30 Baby: [clicking shutter] Album art! Ha, ha, ha!

1:01:32 Emily: That's good, that's good. Yeah, I think I'm gonna, I'm eventually gonna have to get on this thing, so I want to like go over and kind of tentatively be like,

1:01:40 Fig: Hi. My name is Figueroth Faeth. You were once the steed of a great goddess. And she's been corrupted, but I think that in you remains who she was and who she could still be. Will you let me straddle you?

1:02:05 Ally: [chuckling] Give it a hot Cheeto.

1:02:06 Brennan: You see that the horse kneels down onto its legs. And I think you fully feel in this moment– and you still have not, I believe, Divine Smited in this campaign. But you feel a wellspring of connection to fire, justice, clarity... Fill you up and [fiery burst] The anarchy symbol flames on your forehead for a moment.

1:02:37 Emily: That's right. The justice of rebellion.

1:02:42 Brennan: The steed kneels down and you can get on this horse's back.

1:02:45 Emily: I do side-saddle 'cause I'm a lady. [players laugh]

1:02:47 Brennan: I love it. Effectively, I know this is crazy to say–

1:02:51 Siobhan: You're so dainty.

1:02:52 Brennan: This is effectively a Daymare. Right? It's like a nightmare, but it is a...

1:02:56 Emily: I just want everyone to know how hard it was for me to not make my Find Greater Steed a German Shepherd. [Ally and Zac laugh]

1:03:02 Siobhan: Oh, I thought you were gonna say a pentachorn.

1:03:05 Emily: I considered pentacorn, but… Okay.

1:03:09 Brennan: You feel a connection to this ancient, powerful domain. Basically, the result of that incredible Performance check is not only this banger of a song created, but in the act of its creation, if Ankarna were to come back, her coming back would be basically adjudicated by Fig. Fig is sort of sitting on the domain infernally of this goddess.

1:03:37 Emily: I'm hoping that having this thing would remind her of who she was before she let her loyalty lead her away from her true self.

1:03:45 Brennan: And you see, as this happens, playing this song, those swirling red things swirl around you. Those anger crystals, they are dancing. It's beautiful. They're dancing around you as you're playing the song.

1:03:57 Ally: Anger can be good.

1:03:57 Murph: They're moshing.

1:03:58 Siobhan: Yeah, moshing.

1:03:58 Brennan: Yeah, they're moshing.

1:04:00 Emily: Moshing, ah!

1:04:00 Brennan: Just like crashing into each other. Ksh, ksh, ksh! And at the end you see that the Daymare sort of bidding you farewell as you finish this time at the recording studio, gallops down towards the light. And you see, there's like a flash. As it almost waits. 'Cause your spell can summon things, right.

1:04:17 Emily: Yeah.

1:04:17 Brennan: So you see it waiting in that golden light at the bottom of the Bottomless Pit. Incredible, any other track checks?

1:04:24 Emily: I am gonna go… I'm gonna go to paladin class.

1:04:28 Brennan: Hell, yeah. That's gonna be a DC or: I think Athletics or Persuasion maybe.

1:04:37 Emily: Okay.

1:04:37 Brennan: Cool.

1:04:38 Emily: I'll do Persuasion. It's a 29.

1:04:43 Ally: Yes!

1:04:44 Brennan: A+ paladin class, hell yeah.

1:04:46 Emily: I kinda wanna, while I'm training with Porter, ask him about– Just as we're training I'm like, I kinda wanna be like,

1:04:54 Fig: Hey Porter, I've been thinking a lot about my infernal domain, 'cause I'm supposed to be like, getting in touch with myself to write my agreement. And I've been looking into other planes, and I was wondering, have you ever been to the Mountains of Chaos?

1:05:11 Porter: Other planes? Oh, eh, well… The Mountains of Chaos are in Spyre.

1:05:15 Fig: Oh they are?

1:05:16 Porter: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:05:17 Fig: Oh. I thought they were something like the infernal domain.

1:05:22 Porter: Well, they are elementally aligned with chaos. But no, the Mountains of Chaos lie to the northwest of here. And they are a source of a lot of different dungeons and temples and things like that. A lot of student classes that- I don't believe your adventuring party ever ventured to the Mountains of Chaos. But it's a really common location for, like, freshmen and sophomore year adventures.

1:05:48 Fig: Really? Like, which other adventuring parties have gone there? Just 'cause maybe I can ask them about it.

1:05:52 Porter: I know the Seven have stopped by on one of their adventures. I know the Rat Grinders went there many times. And you know, there's a.../

1:06:01 Fig: Spring break.

1:06:03 Porter: I'd say, yeah, a fair amount. Obviously, your adventures have been largely either more wide ranging or more concerned with sort of apocalyptic events. But for most kids at school it's, you know, find a dungeon, get some treasure, kill some monsters.

1:06:22 Fig: Yeah.

1:06:22 Porter: Yeah.

1:06:22 Fig: Okay, cool.

1:06:24 Emily: And then I Smite him. [Porter shouts in pain]

1:06:27 Emily: And then the next thing I wanna do is, I'm gonna prioritize mystery over warlock class.

1:06:34 Brennan: Cool.

1:06:36 Emily: And I wanna use my Dream spell to visit Lola Embers.

1:06:42 Brennan: Hell, yes.

1:06:43 Emily: As myself.

1:06:44 Brennan: Paladin class, so this is gonna be a DC 15. You're using the Dream spell.

1:06:48 Emily: Yeah.

1:06:49 Brennan: What kinda track is it? This is mystery?

1:06:50 Emily: Mystery, but since it's social engineering, can I use like...

1:06:54 Brennan: I'll say Deception.

1:06:55 Emily: Deception, okay.

1:06:55 Brennan: Cool.

1:06:59 Emily: 21.

1:07:00 Brennan: On a 21, you see Lola is there and in her dreams you can see that she is remembering something. She is remembering an email between her and Ruben about Ruben getting invited onto a podcast.

1:07:16 Emily: I forgot to follow.

1:07:17 Brennan: And you see that there is an email that is being looped in. The email being looped in is JS-Faculty@Aguefort.edu.

1:07:29 Emily: Okay, can I... 'Cause I can appear as a messenger, or I can appear as myself. Can I, in the dream, step out of the shadows and using dream logic and be like...

1:07:43 Brennan: You see Lola goes.

1:07:45 Lola: Gotta respond to emails. Gotta do more emails."

1:07:48 Fig: Lola, hey. I talked to Principal Stardiamond and I want in. What are the next steps?

1:07:57 Lola: The next steps? You wanna go back on tour? Ruben just canceled.

1:08:04 Fig: Ruben just canceled? Yeah. Ruben canceled and I want in on the plan.

1:08:10 Brennan: Give me an Insight check.

1:08:14 Emily: Nat one.

1:08:15 Brennan: Okay on a nat one she seems very clueless as you start talking about the plan, you see she goes like,

1:08:19 Lola: The tour? What plan? Sweetie, tell me what plan."

1:08:25 Fig: Uh, Stardiamond. Stardiamond said that you could get me in on the plan to summon the god.

1:08:31 Lola: Stardiamond planned to summon a god?

1:08:35 Fig: Yeah, like what you were doing–

1:08:37 Lola: Sweetie, I never know what the freak you're talking about. I– look. Stardiamond never has a plan. All Stardiamond does is get in my freakin' way. He always wants Ruben off doing other stuff, not touring, not doing gigs. It was him that– I think it was some kinda conversation with him that made Ruben come to me and say, hey, I will only perform at Frosty Fair if they do it at the Thistlespring tree.

1:09:13 Emily: Um, this is interesting information. And then I think I need to just turn it into a standard dream. So I think I turn into her mom.

1:09:21 Lola: [irritated] Mom! I'm talking to a former client! “Lola’s Mom” [Fig]: Honey, we need to make the pasta sauce!

1:09:29 Lola: Oh! Always with the pasta sauce!

1:09:32 Ally: Standard dream logic.

1:09:33 Brennan: Amazing. So that is a job check with making the album. That is a academic, that's mystery, any other tracks?

1:09:41 Emily: I think I'm just gonna give a note to Zara. So you can just have that. It's not a secret. I'm just expediting. She can have that note.

1:09:49 Brennan: Oo, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:09:51 Emily: It's just telling her why I'm not coming to class.

1:09:53 Brennan: Ha, ha, ha! Give me an academic track for warlock, just in case. You're rolling it with advantage. Even just rolling it on behalf of this note.

1:10:02 Emily: Okay. I'm going for Persuasion here.

1:10:06 Brennan: Cool.

1:10:06 Emily: So, 34.

1:10:08 Ally: Oh my god!

1:10:08 Brennan: 30 fucking 4!

1:10:10 Ally: Fig! Killer turn!

1:10:12 Brennan: 34, so that is an A+. Fig is an academic fucking powerhouse.

1:10:17 Siobhan: You got an A+ on your letter saying you quit?

1:10:21 Emily: I didn't say I quit.

1:10:22 Brennan: So now relaxation track, DC is gonna be 25.

1:10:26 Emily: Okay. I think I literally can't do that unless I crit. If I crit, I won't hit it, but will you let the crit?

1:10:32 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:10:35 Siobhan: Wait, what?

1:10:36 Emily: No, I didn't.

1:10:36 Siobhan: Oh, it almost did.

1:10:37 Ally: Oh my gosh!

1:10:39 Siobhan: It was a 14.

1:10:39 Ally: Oh my gosh.

1:10:40 Siobhan: It just rolled back and forth.

1:10:40 Brennan: It is a Wisdom saving throw. Yeah.

1:10:41 Emily: Yeah. I only have a plus one to that.

1:10:43 Brennan: I think you're feeling so amped and fucking like, empowered. So we will cover more about "Dawn of Justice'' and more about the rogue teacher. As we come out of downtime, all of you are gathered. I'd say it's about like, school year ends in May. This is like early to mid April. You're getting your kind of midterm report cards back. You are tracking down the rogue teacher, and you still haven't had time to go over Jawbone's file. That all happened today. But you do see something in Kipperlilly's file of mentioning going to a cemetery in Ashgrove. And you suddenly think about a cemetery and the fact that the rogue professor is a ghost.

1:11:32 Murph: Right. [nods]

1:11:32 Brennan: So you have Kipperlilly's file. However, you guys are in the lunchroom. They give you your midterm report cards. So today and tomorrow are the last days before you'll have your spring break. Getting your report cards, which are a little bit late getting to you all. You should have gotten them at the beginning of the week. You finally get them and open them up. Everything looks pretty good. Kristen has failed cleric class and is being expelled. [the background music grinds to a halt] Ally’s eyes go wide.

1:11:58 Adaine: What?

1:11:58 Fig: What?! : Why?

1:12:00 Fig: Fucking Bobby Dawn.

1:12:01 Riz: Bobby Dawn. : Bobby Dawn.

1:12:02 Riz: This is bullshit, this is bullshit.

1:12:05 Fig: Okay.

1:12:06 Adaine: Can we appeal to Jawbone?

1:12:08 Riz: We've worked too hard for this.

1:12:09 Gorgug: Riz, take a lap.

1:12:10 Riz: We've worked too hard for this.

1:12:10 Gorgug: Riz. Riz, please.

1:12:11 Kristen: Just take a lap. You take a lap.

1:12:13 Riz: It's not real. It's not real, though, right? Brennan holds out a box of stress tokens to Murph.

1:12:15 Brennan: Riz. I mean, just truly.

1:12:16 Murph: Probably.

1:12:17 Ally: I gave Riz like a pack of cigarettes and like snus. [Murph laughs]

1:12:22 Fig: Okay, I think we need to go to someone and ask about this.

1:12:25 Kristen: Jawbone for sure, right?

1:12:27 Fig: Or let's go to Stardiamond. I'll go straight to that fucker.

1:12:31 Zac: I tell people about the conversation that I had with Stardiamond. Or overheard.

1:12:35 Emily: Yeah.

1:12:35 Kristen: So he's bad, right?

1:12:36 Emily: I tell everyone what I learned in Lola's dream. That Stardiamond was the one that said Ruben will only play at Gorgug's house.

1:12:44 Gorgug: That fucker.

1:12:44 Kristen: Stardiamond is the one running it.

1:12:45 Adaine: That fucker. He seemed so chill. He was just always playing hacky-sack with the other kids.

1:12:49 Fig: Deception, charisma.

1:12:52 Riz: I think people are getting possessed and stuff. I don't know what's going on.

1:12:55 Fabian: I do feel like we start soft with-

1:12:57 Gorgug: Riz, are you cracking?

1:12:57 Fabian: Are you all right?

1:12:58 Adaine: Riz, do you need to have a lie down?

1:12:59 Riz: No, I'm not okay.

1:12:59 Murph: I for sure need a stress token. [holds his hand out to Brennan]

1:13:01 Siobhan: I pull a blankey out of my-

1:13:03 Brennan: Is this your fifth one?

1:13:05 Murph: No, this is my fourth one.

1:13:06 Brennan: Yeah, just take it.

1:13:06 Emily: Riz!

1:13:07 Murph: As soon as I see Kristen's thing I just like-

1:13:09 Riz: Ugh.

1:13:10 Kristen: This is so annoying.

1:13:10 Murph: There's like a sound and just one giant bead of sweat coming down.

1:13:14 Brennan: I think you had– as you were all growing up and you're looking– with each passing year of Aguefort you look a little bit more like you will when you are adults. I think a vein appears on the side of Riz' forehead that will be there the rest of his life. [Emily laughs]

1:13:28 Fig: It looks kinda good. Not the nose bleed, the vein.

1:13:29 Riz: Thank you, good.

1:13:32 Emily: Can I summon my fiery steed to comfort Riz?

1:13:36 Kristen: Ah fuck!

1:13:37 Gorgug: Here's a huge horse.

1:13:38 Fabian: Grab this flaming horse.

1:13:40 Siobhan: I give him Boggy.

1:13:40 Brennan: Incredible.

1:13:42 Adaine: I can change him into anything, if you'd find something else more...

1:13:45 Riz: [head in hands] [voice muffled] Yeah, could you give Kristen an A, please?

1:13:47 Adaine: I, no that... no.

1:13:49 Fig: Let's go to Jawbone.

1:13:50 Fabian: Let's start soft.

1:13:51 Fig: We'll start soft.

1:13:52 Brennan: So Jawbone says,

1:13:52 Jawbone: Oh hey there, kids, how's it going? Come on in.

1:13:55 Riz: Bad. It's bad.

1:13:56 Kristen: I got failed by Bobby Dawn.

1:13:58 Fig: There's been a mistake.

1:13:59 Kristen: There's no merit.

1:14:00 Adaine: This is some bullshit.

1:14:01 Kristen: There's no grounds.

1:14:03 Fabian: There's no grounds!

1:14:04 Adaine: There's no grounds.

1:14:04 Gorgug: There's no grounds.

1:14:05 Riz: [loudly] There's no grounds, Jawbone!

1:14:07 Gorgug: Riz! [runs to grab him]

1:14:08 Fig: We don't need a groundskeeper, 'cause there's no grounds.

1:14:10 Kristen: Yeah.

1:14:11 Fabian: There it is.

1:14:13 Kristen: We're hemorrhaging money on the groundskeeper, Jawbone.

1:14:16 Gorgug: The school just has a keeper. [Emily laughs]

1:14:20 Brennan: You see that he looks and says,

1:14:23 Jawbone: Okay, okay.

1:14:25 Brennan: He says,

1:14:25 Jawbone: I'm gonna look up this. You're absolutely welcome to challenge this.

1:14:31 Fig: I'll challenge 1v1 if we need.

1:14:34 Jawbone: All right, we're not gonna do that. Hold on.

1:14:35 Adaine: I will also challenge 1v1.

1:14:35 Riz: I will also challenge 1v1.

1:14:38 Jawbone: I know. Killing the principal is enough.

1:14:40 Fabian: We've killed the principal. We've taken down the High-

1:14:42 Siobhan: And we'll do it again.

1:14:43 Fabian: ...Council of Fallinel or whatever.

1:14:45 Gorgug: Honestly, we're coming for the other principal.

1:14:49 Jawbone: All right, look, look, look. I hear ya, I hear ya.

1:14:51 Ally: Yeah, can we tell Jawbone all that stuff about Stardiamond, also?

1:14:56 Zac: Just remembered your cleric teacher, I'm just suddenly wondering.

1:14:59 Lou: Got murdered.

1:15:00 Murph: Let's just find out what's going on.

1:15:02 Riz: Jawbone, what's on the computer? [stressed chuckle]

1:15:04 Jawbone: Kristen, your work has been exemplary. There's notes in here that your spellcasting is prodigious. What Professor Dawn has put in here, in his notes, is that the prior teacher made an allowance for you to proceed in this track without a divinity living. And what Mr. Dawn has done is rescinded that and said, the cleric, the student in question was not able to preserve the life of their deity and regardless of their ability to harness spellcasting, this constitutes an immediate failure in this class semester, which normally would be overcome-able, but because of the academic probation you were already in, it seems that there: and there's a note in here about that point being made to Professor Dawn who said, "Unfortunately, it is my estimation that an allowance being made in this case was not equitable or fair to other students."

1:16:02 Ally: Are we in school time? Like is school still-

1:16:05 Brennan: Yes, you're at school.

1:16:07 Ally: Can I beeline to the cleric's...

1:16:09 Brennan: Yes, I think you guys can all beeline there.

1:16:11 Ally: No, no, no. Give me a moment. [holding their hands up] Fabian brandishes his sword.

1:16:12 Emily: [holding a hand out] Yeah, let's give–

1:16:13 Lou: Are you ready?

1:16:13 Siobhan: [crosses her arms intimidatingly] We're standing outside. Gorgug hefts his ax.

1:16:15 Ally: Just trust me, just trust me.

1:16:17 Lou: All right, here we go.

1:16:18 Emily: We've cast buff spells.

1:16:20 Lou: Yeah, Enhance Ability.

1:16:22 Riz: [moving from side to side] Oh, I think this guy wants to go.

1:16:23 Fabian: Look at this guy. [cracks his knuckles] I think he wants it.

1:16:25 Fig: [through the earpiece] Say the word, my president. You say the word.

1:16:27 Ally: I take a moment. I take a deep breath.

1:16:29 Emily: My president, oh president, my president.

1:16:30 Ally: And then I walk in, crying. [Siobhan laughs]

1:16:33 Bobby Dawn: Wow, Miss Applebees. I behold you weeping in my office.

1:16:39 Kristen: My... My crystals of my god have turned into dusty sand and blew away. I'm godless. And I don't know what to do.

1:16:53 Bobby Dawn: Miss Applebees. You feel lost and directionless?

1:16:58 Kristen: I do.

1:17:00 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Deception check.

1:17:02 Emily: And I would have sent them in with a Bardic.

1:17:05 Lou: As would I.

1:17:05 Emily: And I actually have a d10 now.

1:17:10 Ally: 26.

1:17:11 Siobhan: He gets one.

1:17:13 Brennan: He gets a one?

1:17:14 Siobhan: He gets a one.

1:17:15 Emily: Yes!

1:17:15 Emily: Fuck yeah.

1:17:16 Kristen: Ugh. I'm just having a real dark night of the soul. But it's day.

1:17:23 Fabian: I understand. Well, how may I be of service to you, Miss Applebees?

1:17:30 Kristen: Ugh! I, um… I saw my grade. And I saw my expulsion letter and I was wondering if it's not too late to maybe go with what's right there in front of me.

1:17:51 Bobby Dawn: You mean a return to the worship of Helio?

1:17:58 Kristen: Prodigal as I may be. [Lou and Emily laugh]

1:18:07 Bobby Dawn: Absolutely remarkable, Miss Applebees. I think that's a very wise and noble decision.

1:18:13 Kristen: Let's pray.

1:18:15 Ally: And I take his hands.

1:18:16 Brennan: He prays with you.

1:18:17 Kristen: Great. Let's get that paperwork started.

1:18:23 Bobby Dawn: Paperwork? No, there's no paperwork in the pursuit of the lord. Helio will welcome you with open arms. I imagine you'll have a great deal more time for worship now.

1:18:35 Kristen: Why is that?

1:18:36 Bobby Dawn: 'Cause you no longer attend this school, Miss Applebees.

1:18:40 Kristen: Even with switching my god?

1:18:45 Bobby Dawn: I believe you. You wanna switch your deity, but the rules are the rules, Miss Applebee. I can no longer twist them than I would be able to break the word of the Almighty in my position.

1:18:56 Ally: I cast Banishment on him.

1:18:58 Brennan: You cast Banishment on him. Do you raise up and cast a spell?

1:19:04 Ally: No, everyone's outside. I can't do that. [battle music] Lou leans forward in a battle-ready pose.

1:19:08 Fig: Say the word, my president. Siobhan excitedly rubs her hands in anticipation.

1:19:08 Zac: I'm huge.

1:19:10 Lou: Geronimo.

1:19:11 Brennan: You guys outside, you see that you have effectively deceived him, but that his fundamental goal was to remove you from Aguefort. You wanting to look for another deity is great to him, but he wants you out of the school.

1:19:28 Ally: So Copperlilly can win.

1:19:30 Brennan: Who knows. You see Jawbone approaches the rest of you and says,

1:19:35 Jawbone: Hey, I found something of interest, but I see you're all sort of crouched in the hallway with weapons drawn.

1:19:41 Fig: That's right, my president's in there. [through the earpiece] President, we're still here.

1:19:43 Riz: What'd you find, Jawbone? Lou, Siobhan, and Zac resume their battle-ready poses.

1:19:45 Jawbone: Okay, well, your grades are all so good that if you want, you could take the Last Standard exam.

1:19:55 Riz: In.

1:19:56 Siobhan: In.

1:19:56 Fabian: Yeah. I mean, yeah.

1:19:58 Fig: Honestly, I was hoping we were going to have to anyways. [through the earpiece] President, we've got a twist.

1:20:02 Jawbone: Kristen doesn't have to leave until the end of this term, this midterm.

1:20:05 Adaine: Okay, let's do it tomorrow.

1:20:06 Riz: Yeah, we're in, right?

1:20:07 Ally: I'm in there with my trigger finger just about to cast Banishment. This is the only way out. [cast laughs]

1:20:14 Adaine: We don't have to kill another teacher yet, but we probably will eventually.

1:20:15 Fig: My president, there's been a twist. We can take the Last Standard.

1:20:22 Kristen: [to Bobby] Well, that's really unfortunate.

1:20:25 Bobby Dawn: Miss Applebees, may I give you a word of advice?

1:20:29 Kristen: Yes.

1:20:31 Bobby Dawn: When a path is laid before you, it is the height of arrogance to leave it and choose your own.

1:20:40 Kristen: You're a control freak and you'll never win.

1:20:41 Ally: And I walk out. [Brennan laughs]

1:20:44 Zac: Can I put my head in and use my goggles on him?

1:20:46 Brennan: Yeah, what do you wanna learn about him?

1:20:48 Ally: Oh!

1:20:48 Siobhan: Yeah!

1:20:49 Zac: I just want his damage resistances and immunities.

1:20:51 Brennan: No resistances or immunities, damages and stuff.

1:20:54 Gorgug: Regular freak.

1:20:57 Siobhan: I cast Erupting Earth just so– basically under his shoes. So his shoes smell of shit all day. [chuckling]

1:21:04 Emily: And I Prestidigitation a fart to follow him everywhere he goes.

1:21:07 Brennan: Just an eruption of stinking shit.

1:21:11 Bobby Dawn: Lord, help me! Helio, preserve and deliver me!

1:21:15 Gorgug: [wafts air in front of his nose] Oo, it stinks in here.

1:21:18 Brennan: As you leave this place, this horrifying cleric here, you arrive at the hallway. Jawbone says,

1:21:23 Jawbone: So the Last Standard exam is an exam, it's an optional exam that students can take in their junior year that replicates the conditions of a desperate last stand. So the point is it's an endurance test where you are fighting monsters while answering a series of academic questions.

1:21:48 Riz: Great.

1:21:48 Adaine: Great. [fist pumping wildly] Yes!

1:21:50 Jawbone: And the longer it–

1:21:50 Adaine: Yes!

1:21:52 Fig: I call the fighting monsters. Someone else do the academic questions.

1:21:55 Riz: [fist pumping] Yes! Yes.

1:21:57 Jawbone: Everyone will have to answer. There'll be a series of desks. Everyone will have to answer-

1:22:00 Gorgug: A series of desks?

1:22:03 Fig: Can we jump on the desks?

1:22:04 Jawbone: You are welcome to jump on the desks.

1:22:05 Adaine: Fabian.

1:22:05 Fabian: I know [???]

1:22:06 Jawbone: Everyone has to answer. There'll be 12 questions for six of you. You just have to answer two academic questions. There will be a proctor for the exam.

1:22:16 Fig: Who?

1:22:17 Kristen: Who?

1:22:18 Fabian: That's a big question.

1:22:19 Kristen: Fucking Stardiamond.

1:22:21 Jawbone: Proctor Gavin Pundle.

1:22:24 Adaine: Great.

1:22:25 Fabian: I can work with that.

1:22:25 Fig: I don't recognize the name. I can work with that.

1:22:28 Gorgug: Pundle, Pundle, Pundle.

1:22:30 Fabian: Let me check my nemeses list real quick. I don't think he's on there.

1:22:34 Jawbone: So, the objectives of the exam are fight heroically, stay up for as long as possible. Do not let the monsters kill the proctor. That's 30 points off if that happens.

1:22:45 Ally: Ha, ha!

1:22:46 Adaine: Out of 100?

1:22:47 Jawbone: Out of 100.

1:22:48 Adaine: Oh, so we could still, if we kill everybody but the proctor dies, we would still get like a C.

1:22:52 Jawbone: Well, then you got the questions.

1:22:53 Adaine: Ah.

1:22:54 Jawbone: And there will be a cleric on standby to raise you after the exam is concluded.

1:22:59 Fig: Wait, who's the cleric gonna be on standby to raise us?

1:23:02 Jawbone: Doesn't say, there's a rotation.

1:23:03 Kristen: Bobby, obviously, right? Bobby Dawn.

1:23:05 Gorgug: So it has Grundle and...

1:23:08 Fig: We can't go down.

1:23:09 Fabian: Gavin Pundle?

1:23:09 Jawbone: Gavin Pundle.

1:23:10 Fig: It's gonna be Bobby Dawn.

1:23:11 Kristen: He won't bring us back up. Okay, fuck.

1:23:13 Jawbone: Get a good night's sleep and we'll open it up for ya first thing in the morning.

1:23:16 Riz: Great.

1:23:16 Fabian: Great.

1:23:17 Adaine: Great.

1:23:18 Fabian: Crazy that we go to this school where we have to be worried that the cleric teacher won't bring us back from the dead.

1:23:24 Adaine: It is wild. It is wild. Who let this happen? [yells and shakes fist at the sky] Aguefort!

1:23:28 Brennan: The next day you all come to school. Jawbone shepherd's you to Principal Aguefort's office. Where he takes the doorknob off the door, fixes on a strange, luminous green pearlescent doorknob, opens it, and all of you walk into the Last Standard exam, AKA The Last Stand. [dramatic music]

1:23:57 Brennan: In a far flung place, another realm, where you see countless Arthur Agueforts cheering for you. The dome projects art of several Arthur Agueforts filling a stadium.

1:24:05 Agueforts: Students! You now behold The Last Stand. Everyone give it up!

1:24:10 Brennan: You see a bunch have their shirts off with Gorgug painted across their chests in letters.

1:24:13 Gorgug: [taken aback] What?

1:24:15 Adaine: Professor Aguefort, the school is falling to pieces, can you please come to work!

1:24:18 Gorgug: Adaine.

1:24:19 Agueforts: You're going to do it! This is what this school is all about.

1:24:22 Fig: It does say Adaine too.

1:24:23 Brennan: Gorgug's over there. Adaine's over there. You see people taking pictures. They're talking to each other. But you see sort of this illusory army of cheering Arthur Agueforts in the background who are all wishing you the best.

1:24:35 Agueforts: You can do it, students! We believe in you!

1:24:38 Gorgug: Thank you!

1:24:39 Fabian: That one's doing the thumb's down.

1:24:41 Adaine: That guy sucks.

1:24:42 Fabian: Fuck you, dude.

1:24:43 Gorgug: [offended] Hey!

1:24:44 Fabian: Get on board with the program.

1:24:47 Gorgug: We don't need the contrast.

1:24:49 Brennan: Also, seated at the top of this sort of platform structure is the proctor of the exam.

1:24:56 Gavin Pundle: Hello, my name is Gavin Pundle. I'm the proctor for your examination here. This is the Last Standard exam. If there's any questions I can answer that you have about the proceedings. You do have a courtesy due to the extra credit you've accumulated here. You do have a courtesy grace period.

1:25:14 Kristen: Oh, because we're all such good students.

1:25:15 Adaine: Yeah, we're all incredible students.

1:25:16 Kristen: All of us, including the one who was failed, kinda just like randomly.

1:25:19 Gavin Pundle: So I work for the superintendent's office. So, I'm not affiliated with the-

1:25:23 Kristen: [aggressively] Hey, pal!

1:25:25 Gavin Pundle: Okay, writing that down.

1:25:27 Murph: Can we get a quick check on how much HP Gavin has.

1:25:28 Lou: Yeah.

1:25:29 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:25:30 Ally: Yeah, hey. [to Zac] That's you.

1:25:31 Fabian: Can you hit him with a quick scan, Gorgug?

1:25:32 Zac: Yeah, can I use my scanner on him?

1:25:36 Brennan: Yes. Bear in mind that the scanner does use one of your limited number of battle gadgets.

1:25:41 Zac: Right, right.

1:25:41 Murph: Yeah, you probably don't wanna do that then.

1:25:43 Zac: I got a couple other things I'd like to do.

1:25:45 Ally: I go up to him and I kinda straighten his tie and shirt and stuff. And I'm like,

1:25:49 Kristen: Um… I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of stress this year.

1:25:52 Ally: And while I touch him I cast Death Ward.

1:25:55 Brennan: Hell, yes. Okay, great. You cast Death Ward on him, awesome.

1:25:58 Gavin Pundle: Oh, thank you very much, I appreciate that.

1:26:00 Siobhan: And I'd like to cast Mordenkainen's Faithful Hound and put it right up there next to him.

1:26:04 Brennan: So you see multiple moons in the sky. It's like an alien green sky. You see appearing over here is Buddy Dawn. Not Bobby, Buddy Dawn. So you see Buddy looks out and says,

1:26:19 Buddy: Hey, y'all. I'm a student volunteer, so I'll be here to raise ya, if’n ya drop.

1:26:24 Lou: Oh.

1:26:25 Siobhan: Can I do a Perception check on him?

1:26:26 Brennan: Sure.

1:26:27 Emily: Do you guys think I should disguise myself as the proctor so there's two proctors on the field?

1:26:32 Siobhan: Yes. [to Brennan] I got a 24.

1:26:33 Ally: Do you think he would let you sit at a desk with him?

1:26:36 Emily: I think, yeah, I'm just gonna disguise myself.

1:26:38 Siobhan: Yeah, I'll cast Greater Invisibility on him and then you sit at his desk.

1:26:41 Brennan: So some folks are bringing steeds. Fabian, are you mounted up as this begins?

1:26:44 Lou: Of course. I'm just on a motorcycle.

1:26:48 Ally: They were just like, sure!

1:26:49 Siobhan: Just wheeled it through the school.

1:26:51 Lou: Yeah, this is a scholastic– exactly.

1:26:51 Siobhan: Climbed it upstairs.

1:26:52 Lou: Yeah, it's just like on neutral as I kinda scoot it through the hallways.

1:26:57 Brennan: Would Cloaca be here, or any of your other? No.

1:26:59 Zac: Cloaca's in my heart.

1:27:01 Brennan: Cloaca is in your heart now, beautiful.

1:27:03 Ally: I think I have my familiar, Winnie the Pooh. [Emily and Siobhan laugh]

1:27:09 Ally: And she will give me the Help action. [Murph laughs]

1:27:11 Siobhan: Yes, Winnifred the Pooh!

1:27:11 Emily: Thank you!

1:27:15 Ally: Finally somebody said it.

1:27:16 Siobhan: Finally. Winnie the Pooh is trans.

1:27:19 Ally: She/her-story. [Siobhan laughs]

1:27:21 Lou: I have to lose one d8 worth of spell slots.

1:27:24 Ally: You took one?

1:27:25 Lou: Because of stress.

1:27:27 Emily: Oh.

1:27:29 Lou: That is five.

1:27:30 Brennan: Cool. We're gonna place Moggy the Doggy.

1:27:34 Siobhan: Any time anything comes within five feet of him, he will attack.

1:27:37 Brennan: Incredible, so we have a Death Ward on Gavin Pundle as well. Very cool.

1:27:43 Siobhan: And then I got four Dry Guys. [holds up a spell card]

1:27:45 Brennan: I am so sorry to do this to you, but this is what being a high level wizard is. Just please get that all away from me. [hands several blue boxes over to Siobhan] [Siobhan chuckles] Zac helps hand off the boxes.

1:27:51 Brennan: There you go. And we're going to go ahead. This will be our temp for your steed.

1:27:55 Emily: Okay.

1:27:56 Siobhan: Oh, these are my Bigby Hands?

1:27:58 Brennan: Those are your Bigby's Hands, yes, yes, yes.

1:28:00 Ally: Wow, that's so sick. I want a tackle box of things.

1:28:04 Lou: Yeah!

1:28:05 Siobhan: Go fishing, baby. Time to go frickin' fishing.

1:28:06 Lou: I'm gonna become a wizard.

1:28:08 Ally: Ugh, I wanna go fishing so bad.

1:28:11 Siobhan: I'm thinking putting these Dry Guys, one on every corner. Does that track with everybody?

1:28:16 Ally: Each with a little microphone and an XLR cable tying them together while they record their podcast.

1:28:18 Siobhan: Yeah, exactly.

1:28:20 Brennan: Fig riding the Daymare. [Daymare shrieking]

1:28:24 Brennan: Which has Pegasus status. Buddy stands there, the proctor stands there and says, this is your grace period. Each of the desks has two of your academic questions within it. You are allowed to help each other answer those questions. Each of you will be responsible for 2 of the 12, but you can ask for help from your fellow party members.

1:28:48 Siobhan: Will helping our party members be an action?

1:28:50 Brennan: No, it will not be an action. It will, however, be timed. So you only have a certain amount of time to answer each question. And for you guys to know above the table, these questions must be answered by you the players. They are not solvable by rolls of the dice.

1:29:06 Emily: Honestly, I'm so fucking smart. I'm smarter than Fig. This is one of my only characters that I'm smarter than.

1:29:13 Siobhan: I am absolutely not smarter than Adaine.

1:29:14 Murph: I'm gonna have concentration up on— I'm definitely not smarter than Riz. I'll do concentration on Haste on myself.

1:29:17 Ally: Nice.

1:29:20 Emily: Ooh! You deserve it.

1:29:22 Siobhan: Puff it up.

1:29:23 Emily: You deserve it!

1:29:24 Brennan: So concentration, that's on Riz. Okay, you've got some Dry Guys up here as well.

1:29:29 Siobhan: Yes, Conjure Minor Elemental.

1:29:31 Brennan: So Adaine's got a concentration as well. Fig, what are your spell effects that are active?

1:29:36 Emily: I'm disguised as the proctor. I've cast Armor of Ayda on myself which also, anything I cast on myself transfers to my steed, so my steed also has it. Also, I'm gonna have Spirit Guardians going.

1:29:49 Brennan: Woof!

1:29:49 Emily: Which I think looks like those dancing, moshing red shards.

1:29:54 Brennan: The red shards, hell yes.

1:29:56 Emily: And it says that anything I cast on myself casts onto the steed. Does he also have Spirit Guardians going? Like if we were to be separated, would there be two people on the battlefield?

1:30:07 Brennan: I don't think it would be two different, if you separated. I could be wrong. But I don't think so.

1:30:11 Emily: Okay, well, he also has Armor of Ayda on him.

1:30:14 Brennan: Cool.

1:30:15 Siobhan: It lasts for an hour duration. Can I have ritual cast Rary's Telepathic Bond on us?

1:30:20 Brennan: Earlier in the morning, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:30:22 Lou: Fabian hates to do it, but he's gonna get out the Pipes of the Sewer. [players laugh]

1:30:28 Brennan: And summon some rats?

1:30:30 Lou: I then have to make a Charisma check to make them my friends.

1:30:34 Emily: I put on the orangutan mask.

1:30:36 Brennan: Perfect. Perfect, perfect.

1:30:38 Adaine: Don't steal his rats again. He hates it when you do that.

1:30:40 Emily: But I'll use it to say,

1:30:42 Fig: Hey, this guy is the coolest guy I know.

1:30:44 Lou: I'm gonna summon three swarms of rats.

1:30:48 Brennan: Okay.

1:30:49 Lou: And then they all make Wisdom checks against my Charisma check.

1:30:52 Brennan: Okay.

1:30:54 Lou: And I guess I have help from–

1:30:55 Emily: Can I give him the Help action with my–

1:30:56 Brennan: Yes, you can give him the Help action with with the mask.

1:30:59 Lou: Yeah, Charisma check. [dice rolling] That is a 23 with a 19 on the die.

1:31:06 Brennan: I rolled a one, a two, and four.

1:31:08 Lou: Wow.

1:31:08 Brennan: So all the swarms come under your command.

1:31:11 Fabian: [grossed out] Eugh, okay.

1:31:12 Brennan: Gorgug, what do you got?

1:31:13 Zac: Okay, I got a couple things. Two of which are spells but not concentration.

1:31:17 Brennan: Cool.

1:31:17 Zac: I was gonna do Warding Bond with Kristen. So, I have to be within 60 feet of you usually. And then you will get resistance to all damage, and plus one to AC and saving throws.

1:31:29 Ally: Sick.

1:31:29 Zac: And then I take half the damage you take. And then I'm gonna– Jump is not concentration? Is that correct?

1:31:34 Brennan: I don't believe so, no.

1:31:35 Zac: Okay, so I'll cast Jump on myself as well. And then I'm going to cast Enhance Ability on myself. And I'm just gonna do Bull's Strength.

1:31:46 Brennan: Okay, that is concentration. Adaine, what do you have going on?

1:31:52 Siobhan: I have Conjure Minor Elemental, Mordenkainen's Faithful Hound, which is not concentration. I have Rary's Telepathic Bond which is not concentration. Oh, and actually, I will cast Mirror Image on myself as well. That is also not concentration.

1:32:04 Brennan: So four effects on Adaine. Conjure Minor Elementals, Rary's Telepathic Bond, Mordenkainen's Faithful Hound, and Mirror Image. And then Fabian's swarm.

1:32:12 Lou: I've got these rats.

1:32:13 Brennan: You've got these rats.

1:32:14 Lou: Now, I have to keep playing the pipes to keep them here, but as of now they are here. And I'll just be playing them until the exam starts.

1:32:23 Brennan: Gotcha, and then no other spells are operational?

1:32:25 Lou: No other spells other than just me playing these pipes.

1:32:27 Brennan: And is it concentration?

1:32:28 Lou: It's not concentration, but I have to keep playing the pipes for them to want to be here. [Emily laughs]

1:32:34 Brennan: Truly ill-advised. Kristen, what have you got, you have Death Ward?

1:32:38 Ally: Yeah, I'll throw a Bless up to everybody.

1:32:40 Brennan: Hell, yeah. Bless up.

1:32:42 Ally: Circle of Power doesn't really reach enough people. A 30 foot radius for advantage on saving throws. Does that still feel worth it? 'Cause people could–

1:32:51 Emily: Oh, since we're pretty spread out here?

1:32:53 Ally: We're 35 right there. So it's really just me. It would be these two, me, Riz, and Fabian would have it. And people could move into the aura if they wanted to.

1:33:03 Murph: Circle of Power is not a bad idea 'cause then we could just go near you.

1:33:06 Ally: Okay, I'll do it. Then I will do Circle of Power as well.

1:33:09 Emily: Circle of Power is just so freakin' good.

1:33:11 Brennan: Okay, Circle of Power. Hell, yeah. And Riz.

1:33:14 Murph: Haste up on myself and I'll also take some time to tuck myself away and hide, but near Kristen so I'm still in the aura.

1:33:20 Brennan: Cool.

1:33:21 Siobhan: Adaine is so excited that Fabian is using her solstice present. Lou mimes blowing into panpipes.

1:33:25 Brennan: Cool. Haste.

1:33:26 Emily: Remember you got your Immovable Push-up Rod. Pull-up Rod.

1:33:30 Ally: My what? What is that?

1:33:32 Siobhan: The pull-up rod.

1:33:34 Ally: Pull-up bar. Pull-up bra?

1:33:36 Emily: Pull-up rod. Pull-up rod.

1:33:37 Ally: Pull-up bra.

1:33:38 Emily: Yeah, a pull-up bra. It's not a push-up, it's a pull.

1:33:41 Siobhan: It's little hands holding your tits up.

1:33:43 Brennan: Go ahead and place your rat swarm, sir.

1:33:45 Ally: Oh yeah!

1:33:46 Brennan: I'll tell you what, the devil works hard, but the D20 art department works harder. [hands Lou rat minis]

1:33:50 Siobhan: Did they just frickin' print these out right now?

1:33:52 Brennan: Right now.

1:33:52 Siobhan: That is wild.

1:33:54 Brennan: They are hot off the presses.

1:33:57 Lou: [placing his last rat mini] My hands are burning.

1:33:58 Brennan: Okay, concentration on Spirit Guardians,  Enhance Ability, Conjure Minor Elementals,  Bless, Circle of Power, and Haste.  So as Gavin Pundle is there, he says,

1:34:06 Gavin Pundle: All right, you will find the academic questions within these desks. The monsters will be coming out of these four gates at regular intervals until you are all dead.

1:34:23 Kristen: Wait, it lasts until we die?

1:34:24 Gavin Pundle: It is the Last Stand. Yes, absolutely.

1:34:26 Adaine: It lasts until we all die? Every single one of us?

1:34:29 Riz: That's why there's a cleric here, yeah.

1:34:30 Fig: I thought it lasted until we answered the questions.

1:34:33 Gavin Pundle: Oh, answering the questions determines  your grade and outcome.  But what is being measured here  is your ability to nobly and heroically  take your last glorious stand.

1:34:43 Fig: Oh.

1:34:43 Adaine: Oh, okay.

1:34:43 Fig: Well, then we have a serious problem with the fact that the cleric is biased.

1:34:49 Gavin Pundle: Excuse me sir, are you biased?

1:34:50 Brennan: And you see Buddy goes,

1:34:50 Buddy: No.

1:34:52 Brennan: And you see he goes. Gavin Pundle points and looks at the Bad Kids meaningfully.

1:34:53 Fabian: Can we at least Zone of Truth that real quick?

1:34:55 Adaine: Yeah, can we Zone of Truth that real quick?

1:34:57 Fabian: Hit him with the Zone of Truth.

1:34:58 Gavin Pundle: Mr. Dawn has actually already sworn  a magical oath that will completely strip him  of his divine connection to his deity  should he refuse in anyway to–

1:35:09 Fig: [to the Bad Kids] Yeah, I wonder if he fricking took  the Devil's Nectar to do so. [to the proctor] So if we all, just clarifying the rules,  since we're all gonna die.  I feel like that's fair to do.

1:35:20 Adaine: Yeah.

1:35:21 Fig: If we all, let's say we stagger our deaths and our personal party cleric is the one to bring us up, does that still count as a death?

1:35:28 Kristen: We all have to be dead at the exact same time? Or do we have to each have died once and then get brought back?

1:35:33 Brennan: You see that one of the Agueforts stands up in the crowd and says,

1:35:35 Aguefort: You should of course try to bring your friends back from the dead. That's what you would do if you were trying to last as long as you could.

1:35:43 Adaine: Again, this school is falling to pieces. Why are there so many of you here?

1:35:46 Aguefort: None of us are real!  We are all illusory.  And of course, it's never happened in the school's history,  but you could, theoretically, be the first students  not to die in the Last Stand exam.

1:36:02 Siobhan: Pretty maximum legend.

1:36:03 Fabian: I mean.

1:36:03 Adaine: Keep playing.

1:36:05 Fabian: I fucking brought these rats, it's the least we can do.

1:36:08 Brennan: You see Gavin does look out and say,

1:36:09 Gavin Pundle: Technically there are a limited amount of monsters.

1:36:12 Fig: Okay, okay, okay. I love it, I love it.

1:36:15 Zac: I'm changing my thing to Cat's Grace.

1:36:18 Brennan: Okay.

1:36:19 Emily: I'm gonna Hexblade Curse Buddy Dawn.

1:36:21 Murph: I think he's a stooge. I think that's a waste of a spell.

1:36:24 Brennan: As you see the timer start to go. [alarm blaring]

1:36:28 Brennan: So again, academic questions in desks. They are timed. You cannot roll for them. Monsters coming out of gates. You must last for as long as you can. And if the proctor dies you lose 30 points off your final score. So you gotta protect that proctor. However, many episodes ago, academic resources were promised. Gorgug rolled two nat 20s on academic tracks and has given himself whole hog with the hardest academic workload this year. For two of the 12 questions, if you read them and decide, fuck that. [hands Zac a stamp] You may 100% stamp two of the 12 questions as your two academic resources. Zac looks at the stamp. Smiling, Siobhan holds her arm out to Zac. He immediately stamps her arm. She sticks her tongue out and gleefully shows Lou and Ally. [Emily and Brennan laugh] Ally & Lou: What does it say?

1:37:12 Brennan: 100%.

1:37:14 Zac: [pretending to be frightened] 0-0-1!

1:37:16 Brennan: But you only get two uses out of 12 questions on that.

1:37:18 Zac: [feigning concern] Did that count? [laughs]

1:37:20 Brennan: Did that count? I'm gonna need everybody here to roll Initiative.

1:37:23 Emily: Ah!

1:37:23 Lou: Yee-haw!

1:37:26 Zac: 15.

1:37:26 Ally: Not bad, honestly.

1:37:28 Siobhan: Five.

1:37:28 Emily: Wait, I roll with disadvantage.

1:37:30 Ally: Yeah, same.

1:37:31 Brennan: All right, 15 for Gorgug.

1:37:31 Emily: Okay, still 15.

1:37:33 Brennan: 15 for Fig. What did Adaine get?

1:37:35 Siobhan: Five.

1:37:36 Brennan: Five for Adaine, what did Fabian get?

1:37:38 Lou: 21!

1:37:39 Brennan: 21. What did Riz get?

1:37:40 Murph: 23.

1:37:41 Brennan: What did Kristen get?

1:37:42 Ally: 12.

1:37:43 Brennan: 12, okay.

1:37:44 Siobhan: Fuck, can I move my elementals?

1:37:46 Brennan: As you hear the timer going down, you can position yourself anywhere on the battlefield you want. There are four gates. You can start absolutely anywhere. Players start rearranging their minis one last time and giving rapid-fire statuses to their party.

1:37:53 Ally: I've got an aura going if you guys wanna be near me.

1:37:55 Emily: I’m going to start in the sky!

1:37:56 Siobhan: I'm gonna move these guys in front of the gates so they'll have opportunity attacks.

1:37:58 Murph: I’ll stay where I am so I can answer my questions.

1:37:59 Lou: I'm gonna support with the rats.

1:38:01 Siobhan: Great.

1:38:02 Emily: I'm gonna be over here, but in the sky.

1:38:04 Brennan: You want a stand to fly?

1:38:05 Emily: Yeah.

1:38:06 Brennan: Here we go.

1:38:07 Murph: I'm hiding right now, but I'll be hiding under my desk so I can get my things.

1:38:11 Brennan: And you're disguised as the proctor, right?

1:38:13 Emily: Yeah.

1:38:13 Brennan: Okay.

1:38:15 Lou: You want rats in the sky?

1:38:16 Emily: Yep.

1:38:16 Lou: I'm gonna stop playing this pipe really soon. And when that happens, I cannot–

1:38:21 Emily: Okay, yeah maybe don't put them by me.

1:38:22 Lou: I'll put them with— oh, no. I'll put them right here.

1:38:24 Emily: I wanna be 10 feet so my Spirit Guardians can still hurt people.

1:38:27 Brennan: Okay, you wanna be 10 feet up, gotcha.

1:38:29 Emily: Yeah, because they'll have a harder time hitting me.

1:38:30 Brennan: No worries.

1:38:32 Siobhan: I'll sit at this desk with my Mirror Images on each other desk, so it looks like there's three Adaines sitting at them.

1:38:38 Brennan: Three Adaines sitting there? Incredible.  I will also say, again, you guys  have huge academic surpluses.  So, not only do you guys have these rounds  to cast these spells and get into maximum, best,  most optimal positions.  You guys also see the timer, hear growls and snarls  behind these gates and can ready actions if you want. To be able to use your reactions to do stuff.

1:39:00 Ally: Great.

1:39:00 Zac: I'm just gonna jump straight up in the air and look at this lever.

1:39:03 Brennan: Yes.

1:39:03 Zac: Can I make like a—

1:39:05 Brennan: Go ahead and make an Investigation check.

1:39:06 Gorgug: Guys, we got levers.

1:39:10 Ally: Yeah, that's right.

1:39:11 Lou: This guy is hot today.

1:39:11 Emily: Hot!

1:39:13 Siobhan: He's freakin' killing it.

1:39:14 Zac: 22.

1:39:15 Brennan: 22.  Looking at the levers, you think that the levers,  they look incredibly sturdy.  It doesn't look like they can be fucked with  in terms of like stopping monsters from coming out.  That does not look possible.  What does look possible is the potential  for getting monsters out sooner.  So if you wanted to like slot in a monster  that's gonna come the next round,  I don't know to what purpose  you would want more monsters on the field.  You could do that.

1:39:42 Emily: Would it be possible to ready an action? I see all these chains. Would it be possible to ready an action to chain up the first monster that comes through?

1:39:49 Brennan: Absolutely, if you wanted to do that.

1:39:51 Murph: Also, I'm just realizing now that Mage Hand is not concentration. So I am gonna cast Mage Hand just to have that out.

1:39:57 Ally: Nice.

1:39:57 Brennan: Hell yeah. We will start immediately before Riz, who acts first, by placing the first wave of monsters in the field. You guys understand that when the button goes, on your turn you can use object interactions to pull questions out of the desks.

1:40:13 Siobhan: Great.

1:40:13 Ally: Okay.

1:40:14 Brennan: Okay?

1:40:14 Ally: And it doesn't count as the whole?

1:40:15 Brennan: Doesn't count as the whole action and once that happens, timers start, and I will let you know how much time you have when you pull the question.

1:40:22 Lou: Can I have a readied action to shoot a hand crossbow?

1:40:24 Brennan: Yes you can.

1:40:25 Emily: I've also designated everyone, including the proctor, everyone here including the proctor but not Buddy Dawn to be unaffected by my Spirit Guardians.

1:40:32 Brennan: You guys are all in position. Who has readied actions? We have Fig ready to tie up a monster.

1:40:37 Emily: Wha pow.

1:40:38 Brennan: So you're gonna probably have to get here, with the chain close enough to tie.

1:40:43 Emily: Yeah, I've got the chain and I'm ready to lasso.

1:40:46 Zac: I'm gonna stay where I am and just use my Returning Weapon.

1:40:49 Brennan: Okay, cool.  You stay where you are.  So you have a readied action for your Returning weapon.  Adaine, any readied actions from you?

1:40:54 Siobhan: Yeah, I'll have my dust mephits ready, a Sleep spell on whoever is gonna come out of that.

1:41:02 Brennan: Great.

1:41:03 Zac: Oh, and I will go into it like, can I ready an action to do that, like go into a rage right before?

1:41:08 Brennan: Yeah, I'll say that you can just the turn before, you can just start raging.

1:41:11 Emily: Is it possible to just ready an action to attack?

1:41:13 Brennan: Yeah. You guys can just post up and get ready to fucking brawl on that.

1:41:15 Emily: I'm just gonna do that then.

1:41:17 Murph: I'm ready to shoot.

1:41:17 Emily: I'm gonna do that.

1:41:19 Lou: I'll just shoot on this door.

1:41:19 Emily: I'm readying an action to attack this person.

1:41:21 Brennan: Cool.

1:41:22 Emily: The chain seemed fun, wanted to use it, but...

1:41:24 Lou: And I think I've told the rats to attack the first thing that comes through.

1:41:27 Brennan: Cool, so everyone's got readied actions to attack or cast a spell.

1:41:29 Lou: Let's fucking go!

1:41:31 Brennan: So this first wave of monsters is gonna be, it's gonna be fucking tough out here.

1:41:37 Ally: I'll give you the Help action.

1:41:38 Lou: Aw, thanks.

1:41:40 Brennan: Hey. Hoot, growl.

1:41:41 Players: Hoot. Growl. Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl!

1:41:48 Emily: Battle of the brands king bolts, right.

1:41:50 Siobhan: Yes!

1:41:51 Ally: Yeah, yeah, same.

1:41:52 Zac: Aw, we shoulda done slick back pony.

1:41:54 Emily: Aw!

1:41:55 Brennan: Okay, here we go. One, two, three, four determines the order of the gates that the monsters come out of.

1:42:02 Ally: Three.

1:42:03 Brennan: That's three, so this will be our gate number one. Lurching out of this gate, a fiercesome otyugh.

1:42:07 Otyugh: [gurgling]

1:42:10 Brennan: Emerges on the battlefield.  Right underneath Fig, a monstrous gorgon,  a steel bull comes charging forward  to interact with these creatures up first,  with our mephit and rat friends.  Out of the gate, directly in front of Adaine and Fabian,  a massive hydra takes the field.

1:42:29 Emily: Whoa!

1:42:30 Brennan: But it's gonna have to deal with those mephits and everything else.

1:42:32 Emily: This is tough for me, 'cause monsters are so cute.

1:42:34 Siobhan: I know, they're all so cute.

1:42:36 Ally: They're really good.

1:42:37 Siobhan: I love this little "Monsters, Inc." type guy over here, with his stupid, big, fat mouth.

1:42:41 Brennan: And a mob of skeletons charges out of this gate.

1:42:45 Ally: Oh, great.

1:42:45 Lou: Oh, great. Get 'em, rats.

1:42:48 Brennan: So, we're gonna start some massive rolling with these giant mobs of summons. Let's go with the rats first, Fabian, and let me know when you start rolling. Let's go with the ones by the hydra first.

1:43:00 Lou: There's a 15 on the die from said rats. So that's a 17.

1:43:04 Emily: That's good, though.

1:43:05 Brennan: A 17 hits the hydra.

1:43:07 Lou: Okay, what do they roll for attack?

1:43:09 Emily: They roll 2d6.

1:43:11 Lou: Okay!

1:43:11 Ally: That's actually good.

1:43:13 Emily: 2d6 piercing!

1:43:15 Lou: 2d6 piercing.

1:43:16 Emily: And they have Keen Smell, too.

1:43:18 Siobhan: Nice.

1:43:18 Lou: They do seven points of damage on the hydra. [violent squeaking]

1:43:22 Brennan: Rats are gonna crawl up and bite and like find— As this massive multi-head— [growling]

1:43:29 Gorgug: Fabian, your face is so red. [blowing]

1:43:32 Brennan: Breathe, Fabian, breathe.

1:43:33 Lou: If I stop playing they go away!

1:43:39 Siobhan: I yell to Buddy,

1:43:39 Adaine: This is what happens when you make friends with the rats instead of just killing them!

1:43:43 Gorgug: Circular breathing.

1:43:45 Brennan: You see-

1:43:46 Ally: Didgeridoo, didgeridoo.

1:43:48 Brennan: Incredible.  Okay, they start attacking the hydra  and you notice that they are attacking  the hydra's body.  They're not going up for its head.  They're going into the places in between.  So it doesn't look like any of its neck  or anything has been attacked.

1:44:00 Emily: And that's a flaw? We don't like that?

1:44:01 Siobhan: No, no, no. With hydras you gotta chop off their head and burn them.

1:44:04 Emily: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

1:44:06 Siobhan: It's gotta be fire damage, or I think maybe radiant.

1:44:09 Emily: I could Fireball that.

1:44:10 Brennan: You guys are also, by the way, allowed to use—your junior year adventuring academy characters would know all the shit about monsters that you guys know.

1:44:16 Siobhan: Great, sick.

1:44:16 Murph: Great.

1:44:18 Brennan: You don't have to worry about meta-gaming monster knowledge.

1:44:19 Zac: [cartoon character voice] We're literally going to school for it.

1:44:22 Siobhan: [“fun at parties” voice] My Hydra 101 class was really interesting.

1:44:24 Brennan: Skeleton rats, give it to me.

1:44:24 Lou: Skeleton rats. That's a 19 on the die.

1:44:29 Emily: Woo!

1:44:29 Brennan: That hits.

1:44:31 Zac: [singing] ♪ Skeleton rats and skeleton rats ♪

1:44:34 Siobhan: [singing] ♪ They're the skeleton rats ♪

1:44:35 Lou: That's nine points of piercing damage. Siobhan gives Lou a thumbs up.

1:44:39 Brennan: The second swarm of rats does  a really good job against this skeleton.  Roll for the ones that are attacking  this gorgon over here.

1:44:48 Lou: Only a nine for those rats. They're furthest away. They can't hear my beautiful song.

1:44:53 Ally: Yeah.

1:44:54 Brennan: So the gorgon is not affected. Let's roll for these mephits.

1:44:57 Siobhan: It's a Sleep spell, so it's a DC 10 Charisma saving throw.

1:45:00 Brennan: DC 10 Charisma saving throw. Are they casting it?

1:45:04 Siobhan: They're casting it.

1:45:04 Brennan: Are they casting it on every single group of enemies?

1:45:06 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:45:06 Brennan: What is the exact wording of that? If they fail the save they automatically go to sleep? Or is it a certain amount of hit points?

1:45:11 Emily: I don't even know if there's a save for Sleep. I thought you just roll the...

1:45:13 Murph: Yeah, you roll HP, right?

1:45:14 Emily: Yeah, you just roll HP.

1:45:14 Siobhan: Oh really? Oh, great.

1:45:17 Brennan: So go ahead and roll hit points. And we can say, you can roll separately for each effect if you would like.

1:45:24 Siobhan: Great, so I'll do skeletons first.

1:45:28 Lou: That ain't bad.

1:45:29 Siobhan: That's a 10, 24, 32.

1:45:35 Brennan: 32!

1:45:37 Siobhan: So how many skellies are going down?

1:45:39 Brennan: As insane as it is...

1:45:42 Siobhan: Uh-huh.

1:45:43 Brennan: Because skeletons should not be able to fall asleep. The dust mephits pull like sandman dust and go.

1:45:47 Dust Mephits: [cackling]

1:45:51 Brennan: A bah! And three of the skeletons straight up go to bed. One, two, three are down. [sleepytime music]

1:45:57 Brennan: The badly injured one is one of the ones that goes down because it starts with the lowest hit point total first.

1:46:01 Siobhan: Great. So don't hit any of those guys 'cause if they get hit they become...

1:46:05 Brennan: They'll pop back up.

1:46:06 Siobhan: Okay, so next.

1:46:07 Brennan: Go ahead and roll.

1:46:08 Siobhan: Big mouth boy.

1:46:10 Brennan: For the otyugh.

1:46:12 Siobhan: That's a 12. That's not gonna send him to sleep.

1:46:15 Brennan: Not gonna send him to sleep, and go ahead and roll for the hydra.

1:46:17 Siobhan: Hydra, and then the bull as well.

1:46:20 Brennan: 22 is not gonna put him to bed.

1:46:21 Siobhan: Okay, and then what about the bull?

1:46:24 Brennan: No, you can roll for the bull as well.

1:46:25 Siobhan: Great.

1:46:26 Ally: It just has an insane amount of hit points, for sure.

1:46:29 Siobhan: Yeah, that's a 15.

1:46:30 Brennan: 15 is not gonna do it.

1:46:31 Siobhan: Great, I'll take it. Three skeletons down, I'll take it.

1:46:34 Emily: Great, it's good. Three skellies down.

1:46:35 Brennan: Three skellies down! Okay, now we're getting into all of your reactions.

1:46:41 Lou: Great.

1:46:42 Brennan: We can do it initiative order. Riz, let's do your reaction first.

1:46:44 Murph: Great, pop out, shoot the gorgon.

1:46:46 Brennan: Here we go. Or the otyugh?

1:46:48 Murph: Oh, is that what it's called?

1:46:49 Brennan: Yeah, the otyugh.

1:46:49 Murph: Right there, okay. Yeah, that's a 28 to hit.

1:46:55 Brennan: That's definitely going to do it.

1:46:56 Murph: Okay. Ooh, yes.

1:46:58 Ally: Hey!

1:47:00 Murph: Oh my god, that's awesome. That's so good.

1:47:03 Emily: You deserve this, Murph. You deserve this season.

1:47:06 Lou: You deserve this, Murph.

1:47:06 Siobhan: You deserve it.

1:47:10 Murph: I'll burn a Fury of The Ball right off the bat and do a cool 48 damage.

1:47:17 Ally: Wow!

1:47:18 Lou: My man.

1:47:18 Brennan: You do 48 damage to this otyugh?  Unbelievable.  Bam!  The Ball, you see Riz leaps up from behind the desk,  balancing your arm on the desk.  Blam!  This is, again, not even your turn. Just your reaction.  And because you're a rogue you'll get sneak attack  on your turn, too.  So you use your attack, you are exposed.  As you fire on that otyugh,  you do see late to the party,  because of how slow they are,  emerging behind the otyugh from this stinking hole,  three ochre jellies emerge.

1:47:51 Emily: Oh, I really like jellies in D&D too.

1:47:54 Brennan: As they begin to emerge.

1:47:55 Siobhan: That first one gets an attack of opportunity from my dust mephit.

1:47:59 Brennan: Go ahead and make the attack.

1:47:59 Siobhan: Great.

1:48:00 Emily: Come on, dust in jelly. I can't think of something worse.

1:48:02 Ally: Yeah. [chuckling]

1:48:04 Lou: Give us the texture, goddammit.

1:48:06 Zac: Have you met my friend, Dustin Jelly?

1:48:07 Emily: Dustin Jelly!

1:48:08 Siobhan: That's a 16 to hit.

1:48:10 Brennan: 16 is definitely gonna hit.

1:48:12 Siobhan: Agh, and that's a big old five damage. From this little dust guy.

1:48:17 Brennan: Is that slashing damage?

1:48:18 Siobhan: Yes, it is slashing damage.

1:48:20 Brennan: He deals five damage. Two smaller ochre jellies appear as that one fades away. But you do deal five damage.

1:48:28 Siobhan: And now we know, don't slash the jellies, I guess.

1:48:31 Lou: No slashing of the jellies.

1:48:33 Emily: No slashing.

1:48:34 Brennan: They look small. It looked like it hurt, but these two different jellies appear. That is Riz's reaction. Let's go to Fabian's reaction.

1:48:40 Lou: Great, I'll be shooting the hydra.

1:48:42 Ally: And I gave you the Help action as my reaction. Is that possible in economy?

1:48:46 Brennan: You can give the Help action as you reaction. Yeah, absolutely.

1:48:49 Ally: Or like as my prepared action.

1:48:50 Brennan: Yes, yes, yes. You give him advantage, yes.

1:48:53 Lou: That's gonna be 17 on the die for a 27.

1:48:56 Brennan: That will definitely do it.

1:49:02 Lou: [heavy breathing into imaginary pipes] For a total of eight.

1:49:04 Brennan: You actually see that Fabian puts a crossbow into his thick chest as it starts to bleed from that injury. Moving right along. Figueroth Faeth, let's go to your reaction.

1:49:13 Emily: Okay, I'm gonna Booming Blade this guy. Do I know if he's undead or a fiend?

1:49:19 Brennan: You would know. He is not undead or a fiend.

1:49:21 Emily: Do I know if he has like resistances to lightning?

1:49:25 Brennan: I don't know if you would know that off the top of your head.

1:49:26 Emily: Okay, that's fine. Okay.

1:49:28 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:49:29 Emily: I'm gonna try to hit him.

1:49:31 Siobhan: He seems pretty metallic. I feel like that would make him more susceptible.

1:49:33 Ally: Yeah, more conductive.

1:49:35 Emily: That's what I'm hoping. I rev up my, uh...

1:49:39 Siobhan: I never know.

1:49:40 Emily: I rev up my guitar with the fucking metal "Dawn of Justice." Oh my god. I got a nat one.

1:49:49 Murph: Luck point, Luck point.

1:49:50 Emily: I will use my Luck point. Seeing Emily’s new roll, Zac gasps and leans back in his chair. Siobhan giggles.

1:49:54 Emily: Another nat one.

1:49:55 Zac: Oh no!

1:49:57 Siobhan: Murph! What are you doing here?

1:49:59 Brennan: Your steed gives you the Help action.

1:50:00 Siobhan: Are you Freaky Friday-ing?

1:50:01 Brennan: Your steed is not gonna attack and use his reaction. He uses his reaction to give you the Help action. Roll again.

1:50:08 Emily: It's a three.

1:50:09 Murph: Get rid of that dice.

1:50:10 Ally: Yeah, throw it!

1:50:10 Brennan: Oh, no! No!

1:50:12 Emily: What do I add to it? I add just 10.

1:50:14 Zac: 13?

1:50:15 Brennan: 13. 13 does not hit the gorgon.

1:50:18 Emily: Okay, well I am gonna stay in range so that he'll take the Spirit Guardian damage.

1:50:23 Brennan: Remind—and guys for this battle especially with how high level you all are, keep me apprised of your spell effects, cool? Keep me apprised of your spell effects. If you think that I've missed something and that you had an advantage, try to keep me honest.

1:50:35 Emily: I think for this guy we have to cut its heads off.

1:50:37 Siobhan: We have to cauterize its heads. So if you cut it with anything but fire damage, it'll grow two heads back. Ally nods.

1:50:47 Brennan: Gorgug, your reaction.

1:50:48 Zac: Can I throw my ax at this guy from here?

1:50:51 Brennan: Yes, you can.

1:50:52 Zac: Okay, I'm gonna just Recklessly throw my ax.

1:50:55 Lou: [blowing] Rats, move!

1:50:57 Brennan: And over your head, whoom, as the axe fucking...

1:51:00 Fabian: [ducks] Ah! [continues blowing into pipes]

1:51:01 Zac: 23 to hit.

1:51:02 Brennan: 23 hits.

1:51:05 Ally: Where'd you go, Fig?

1:51:06 Zac: Ooh, I did, um… 20 damage.

1:51:11 Murph: You gotta roll Bless, too, right?

1:51:13 Lou: Oh yeah, with Bless.

1:51:15 Emily: Oh yeah, I did have Bless, but I don't think that would've gotten...

1:51:17 Brennan: You deal 20 damage, okay.

1:51:19 Emily: I rolled my Bless and it would have been four.

1:51:21 Brennan: Oh wait, what?

1:51:22 Emily: Would 17 have hit?

1:51:24 Brennan: Did you use Flash of Genius or no?

1:51:25 Emily: I didn't, because he used his reaction.

1:51:28 Brennan: Okay, copy that. 17 would not have made it.

1:51:31 Siobhan: You know, that's good information. Now we know.

1:51:34 Brennan: The gorgon is remarkably tough.

1:51:36 Siobhan: You did great, you did really good. I believe in you. Spring break.

1:51:39 Emily: I'm having an identity crisis.

1:51:40 Brennan: No! Gorgug, the ax sails through the air and Gorgug cleaves one of the Hydra's heads.

1:51:46 Ally: Oh shit.

1:51:48 Gorgug: So we gotta cauterize that.

1:51:49 Brennan: That's Gorgug's reaction. Kristen's reaction. Oh, I gave Help action to...

1:51:53 Brennan: Okay, Adaine, that's your reaction.

1:51:55 Siobhan: I'll Chromatic Orb the hydra, sure.

1:51:58 Brennan: Go for it.

1:51:59 Siobhan: With fire.

1:52:00 Zac: Nice.

1:52:00 Ally: Nice.

1:52:01 Brennan: Ooh!

1:52:01 Lou: Yes, yes, yes. Here we go. Yaggada.

1:52:05 Ally: Yes, thank god!

1:52:06 Siobhan: And that's a 26 to hit.

1:52:08 Brennan: 26 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

1:52:12 Siobhan: That's a 14, 14 damage.

1:52:14 Brennan: 14 damage.

1:52:14 Siobhan: 14 fire damage.

1:52:15 Brennan: 14 fire damage. As the gates open and these monsters stumble from darkness into light, screaming, gnashing. The Bad Kids leap into action. The Heavy Metal Axe sails through the air, decapitates one of the hydra's heads. And you see two mucus-covered bulbs begin to emerge from the stump at the neck. And Adaine Abernant, whoom, flings a ball of fire and burns and seals the stump as scales cover over it. The hydra now only has four of its five heads. Incredible. We are now gonna jump into Initiative. At the beginning of Initiative, Riz is gonna act again. This is your full turn.

1:52:52 Murph: Great, I look in my desk.

1:52:54 Brennan: At your desk you see two folders. The two folders at your desk say, Investigation and History.

1:53:01 Murph: We'll start with Investigation.

1:53:03 Brennan: You will have two minutes for this question.

1:53:08 Ally: Oh my god. [hides behind Lou briefly]

1:53:09 Brennan: You will have two minutes for this question.

1:53:11 Ally: This is scary.

1:53:11 Lou: Actual exam.

1:53:12 Siobhan: [lays reassuring hands on Zac and Lou’s shoulders] It's an actual exam, actually an exam.

1:53:13 Brennan: Yeah, this is literally an actual exam. [Emily screams]

1:53:14 Murph: [yelling] No!

1:53:16 Brennan: It's got the scary shit on it.

1:53:17 Siobhan: Seeing it, triggering. Just the way that is printed out.

1:53:20 Brennan: Absolutely triggering.

1:53:20 Siobhan: I hate it.

1:53:21 Brennan: You will have two minutes. Remember that you do have, if you feel you need to give up, you have to stamp it before your time is out. Zac places the stamp on his forehead and goes as if to stamp it. [Siobhan and Zac laugh]

1:53:28 Murph: Okay.

1:53:28 Brennan: Riz, you grab Investigation. Your time starts now.

1:53:32 Murph: Okay, um...

1:53:34 Zac: And we all work together?

1:53:34 Siobhan: Read it out loud.

1:53:35 Brennan: Read it out loud, read it out loud.

1:53:36 Murph: Bony Girth, it just says.

1:53:38 Zac: What'd it say?

1:53:38 Murph: Number one, Bony Girth. I'm guessing we-

1:53:41 Ally: We rearrange.

1:53:42 Murph: We have to rearrange it.

1:53:43 Siobhan: Oh, Garthy O'Brien. Garthy O'Brien. Right?

1:53:46 Murph: No.

1:53:47 Siobhan: No?

1:53:48 Zac: Bony Girth.

1:53:48 Emily: Bony Girth?

1:53:49 Zac: Spelled B-O-N-Y?

1:53:51 Murph: B-O-N-Y. G-R-T-H.

1:53:54 Murph: Is it Garty?

1:53:55 Lou: It feels like it is Garty O'Brien.

1:53:55 Siobhan: Garty O'Brien.

1:53:57 Murph: Garty...

1:53:57 Zac: There's no A.

1:53:58 Murph: Oh, but it's like a… Yeah, hang on, hang on.

1:54:01 Siobhan: O'Brien. B-R-I-E-N.

1:54:03 Murph: Hang on, there's no E. So B-O-N-Y space, G-I-R-T-H.

1:54:08 Emily: G-I, bony. Uh.

1:54:12 Murph: Night.

1:54:14 Ally: Night Yorb!

1:54:15 Murph: Oh, Night Yorb. A big green “CORRECT” stamp is projected on the dome.

1:54:16 Brennan: Correct! Boom! [players cheering]

1:54:19 Brennan: Incredible!

1:54:22 Zac: Nice.

1:54:22 Brennan: Okay, Riz you do Night Yorb and like get on the desk writing. As you do that, Gorgug, would you do me the honor of just stamping that 100%?

1:54:32 Emily: But wait, that's not using one?

1:54:33 Brennan: That's not using one.

1:54:33 Emily: Okay, cool.

1:54:34 Lou: Yeah!

1:54:34 All: Yeah!

1:54:35 Brennan: All right, you guys hold onto that. You marked it up.

1:54:39 Siobhan: That was a flourish.

1:54:40 Brennan: Hell, yeah! Let's go. Last Stand Exam. [Ally claps]

1:54:44 Lou: Do stamp tricks, stamp tricks.

1:54:45 Murph: Okay, now I will take my turn by– Siobhan places the exam paper on her glasses while Zac throws the stamp over his arm to catches it with his other hand and tosses it to Lou. [Ally laughs]

1:54:48 Murph: Okay, let's see. Lou does some stamp tricks and throws the stamp back to Zac.

1:54:51 Murph: I'm going to Misty Step in. I'm gonna cast Booming Blade. That’s a 22 to hit.

1:54:57 Brennan: Okay.

1:54:57 Murph: So that if this thing moves, it takes more damage. But first I'll make an attack with the Sword of Shadows.

1:55:03 Murph: That's a 22 to hit.

1:55:04 Brennan: That's gonna definitely hit.

1:55:05 Murph: Great, okay.

1:55:06 Brennan: Are you getting sneak attack on him?

1:55:08 Murph: Yeah, 'cause I got the elemental.

1:55:09 Brennan: Yep, you've got the elemental right there. Cool, cool.

1:55:11 Murph: Oh yeah.

1:55:12 Lou: Oh yeah.

1:55:16 Murph: 42 damage.

1:55:18 Emily: Yeah!

1:55:18 Brennan: 42 damage. You come up with this sword, deal 42 damage. This otyugh [gurgling] One its tentacles sloughs off as shadow magic erupts from your blade. This thing is looking bad.

1:55:31 Murph: Okay, after having Misty Stepped to it, I will use one of my Haste actions to Disengage. And then use my movement to get right back to my desk.

1:55:41 Brennan: Ooh, baby! So just whoom, and you spring back to your desk. Incredible turn. Fabian, that's gonna be you.

1:55:46 Lou: All right, I'm done with this fucking pipe. The rats have served their purpose.

1:55:51 Brennan: Goodbye rats. You wanna hand me those rats?

1:55:53 Lou: Oh, they just become normal rats. They can still hang out. If they want to defend themselves and their livelihood.

1:56:01 Brennan: [laughs] Their livelihood!

1:56:03 Lou: I'm just gonna object interaction for the desk behind me.

1:56:05 Brennan: Yes, you can. You go to interact the desk behind you and the desk opens its mouth revealing a mimic.

1:56:10 Lou: Okay.

1:56:11 Brennan: You see in the back of its throat, it does have two folders. But it is going to attack you as it appears first.

1:56:21 Zac: Whoa, that looks cool.

1:56:22 Ally: That's super cool.

1:56:23 Lou: Yeah, way to go Rick. Great job.

1:56:26 Zac: That's what school feels like.

1:56:27 Lou: Ugh.

1:56:28 Brennan: Fabian, you take 14 points of damage as this thing lashes you with its tongue and bites into your leg.

1:56:34 Lou: Did it miss at all?

1:56:36 Brennan: It did not miss on its attack. Unless you're doing any Shield or anything like that.

1:56:40 Fabian: Ow! Watch out! [chomping noise]

1:56:43 Fabian: They're not just desks!

1:56:44 Brennan: Because you have been bitten, and it's got its mouth on you, you can reach in and grab one of the things inside of it.

1:56:50 Lou: Great, I'll do that. So uh, I don't have to kill it to get it. I can just fucking let it bite me.

1:56:55 Brennan: You can just let it bite the shit out of you and reach into its mouth to grab these things.

1:56:58 Lou: I have bigger fish to fry. Yeah, I'll take one of them.

1:57:02 Brennan: You see the two in there say, Athletics and Common.

1:57:06 Lou: Athletics and Common?

1:57:06 Brennan: Yes.

1:57:09 Lou: Eh. I'll take Athletics. [Ally laughs]

1:57:13 Brennan: You take Athletics. This is a one minute timed question.

1:57:18 Lou: Okay.

1:57:19 Siobhan: You have to do a real dance in real life.

1:57:21 Brennan: Okay, get ready. In three, two, one. [hands Lou a paper]

1:57:27 Lou: [reading quickly] “What rival Bloodrush team do our beloved Owlbears most often compete against? A, the Buccaneers which are from Bastion City, no. B, the Hellions, C, the Grapplers, or D, the Scoundrels?” Murph/Zac/Emily: Hellions.

1:57:38 Lou: The Hellions? Do we think it's the Hellions?

1:57:39 Siobhan: Wait, no, I think it's the Buccaneers 'cause Bastion City is the next city over.

1:57:42 Lou: No, but that's the professional team that Ragh is actually currently training for.

1:57:44 Siobhan: You're absolutely right, yes.

1:57:46 Lou: So I do think it's the—

1:57:47 Ally: The Hellions.

1:57:47 Lou: The Hudol Hellions.

1:57:48 Siobhan: Hudol Hellions, right. [general agreement] A big green “CORRECT” stamp appears on the dome.

1:57:50 Brennan: That is correct! Fabian gets it right. Here we go. Stamp it up.

1:57:54 Lou: [handing Zac the paper] Stamp it! [players get rowdy]

1:57:54 Emily: Yeah!

1:57:55 Ally: Stamp that shit! Stamp that shit! Zac poses as he stamps the paper.

1:57:58 Lou: Goal!

1:57:59 Brennan: Let's go, baby! Let's go. Siobhan waves her arms wildly in the air. Zac holds up the paper and rotates it. He throws it and it lands in Siobhan’s hands.

1:58:01 Brennan: All right, amazing. You guys are chugging through it. Fabian, go ahead and take the rest of your turn. Siobhan blows on the stamp’s ink and places it on the desk.

1:58:06 Lou: Okay, does the Hangman itself do...

1:58:10 Brennan: Yes, the Hangman can attack on its action.

1:58:12 Lou: Does it by chance do fire damage? Or if I let it turn into a hound, could it do fire damage?

1:58:17 Brennan: If you let it turn into a hound, it can do fire damage.

1:58:20 Lou: Great, I'm going to dismount and let it turn into a hound.

1:58:25 The Hangman: Sire, I am ready to fight alongside you.

1:58:28 Lou: Great.

1:58:29 Brennan: The Hangman appears, Fabian on the motorcycle goes away. It's gonna act on your turn.

1:58:33 Lou: Great, and I think we're gonna charge the hydra. I'm gonna try and knock off one of its heads and then have my man seal them up behind me.

1:58:43 Brennan: So go ahead and Fabian can take his turn. First you rush in right under the snapping jaws of this enormous hydra.

1:58:50 Lou: All right, first attack is going to be an 18.

1:58:54 Ally: You're Blessed.

1:58:54 Lou: Ooh. Is gonna be a 20 to hit.

1:58:58 Brennan: That'll do it.

1:58:59 Lou: Great. We'll put a lot of mustard on it. Third level spell. So that'll be 3d6 radiant damage. We'll make it a Goading attack so that it doesn't try– and so DC 17 Wisdom saving throw to not have disadvantage on attacking anyone but me.

1:59:21 Brennan: Hydra fails the save. You see it eyeing the proctor. Like some eyes are looking at fake proctor. Some at real proctor. But now they all turn to focus on you.

1:59:30 Lou: Great.

1:59:30 Emily: Proctor, proctor.

1:59:31 Lou: And then we'll also add a Defensive Flourish.

1:59:33 Ally: That's right. Try to get two heads.

1:59:35 Lou: Okay, that brings me up to 23 AC. Three radiant, the normal, and the Trip attack, great. So that's four. [many dice rolling] Okay, 10. 16, 20, 21 plus… 21 plus 10. 31 points of damage on the first attack.

2:00:01 Brennan: Cool.

2:00:01 Lou: We'll swing again. [die rolling] That's another 20 to hit.

2:00:07 Brennan: 20 hits, go ahead and roll damage.

2:00:08 Lou: We'll burn another third level spell. And we'll make this one a Trip attack for fun.

2:00:19 Ally: If that was radiant damage, did it close itself off?

2:00:22 Brennan: You see that radiant damage does not appear to be doing it. It needs to be pure fire.

2:00:26 Emily: Does it seem like we have to slice them and then do the fire damage. Or would fire damage...?

2:00:31 Brennan: Oh, fire damage alone would stop the regrowing before it even started.

2:00:36 Lou: That's 37 points of damage on the second attack.

2:00:38 Brennan: Jesus!

2:00:39 Ally: Yoo!

2:00:39 Emily: Yeah!

2:00:40 Lou: And now, can I make a Perception check on how it's doing?

2:00:43 Brennan: Oh well, you come like, you grab this fucking document. Like on top of a desk that is biting you, you write the correct answer and throw the sheet behind you. You leap off of your motorcycle as it transforms and turns into this hellhound galloping behind you. You come up and grab one head. You put your sword through one eye and out the other. [grunt of effort] Slash through the head, rip it off and leap up and just, you have a piercing weapon, you just double hand. Your core is so tight after all this dancing. This perfect pirouette and with a piercing weapon, hack a third head off.

2:01:25 Ally: Yes!

2:01:25 Emily: Yeah! Woo!

2:01:26 Brennan: This is looking so rough. It's two of five heads.

2:01:30 Lou: Great, let's Action Surge.

2:01:32 Brennan: Woo!

2:01:34 Lou: We'll go again.

2:01:35 Emily: If you can get all those heads off.

2:01:37 Lou: That's gonna be a... that's gonna hit. That's 29. We'll burn a second level spell on that, just with the normal attack. Six. Nine. 19 points of damage on that attack. We'll go one more time. That will be another 20 to hit.

2:02:00 Brennan: You've hit on every single attack.

2:02:02 Lou: Another second level spell.

2:02:05 Siobhan: He's hitting rolling sevens. He's rolled three sevens.

2:02:08 Brennan: Unbelievable.

2:02:09 Lou: 8, 11, another 21.

2:02:13 Brennan: 21 damage.

2:02:13 Ally: Hell, yes. Hell, yes.

2:02:15 Brennan: Fabian, you feel your body just like, there's no "falling off the van." There's no "can't jump on the tables." You have spent months aligning your body and your will in perfect unison. Three of the heads are lopped off by Fabian in one turn. And there is a single hydra head remaining. And even that one you have managed to stab in the throat multiple times in this flurry of action. This hydra is looking at death's door.

2:02:45 Lou: Can the Hangman now attack?

2:02:47 Brennan: The Hangman can now attack.

2:02:49 Zac: Ooh.

2:02:49 Siobhan: Yes, bitch.

2:02:50 Brennan: The Hangman can actually use his fire breath, which is a rechargeable ability.

2:02:53 Lou: Great, we'll do that.

2:02:54 Brennan: So we're gonna roll a Dexterity saving throw for the hydra. Go ahead and roll 6d6 fire damage for me.

2:03:04 Ally: Okay! Okay! Three sixes.

2:03:09 Emily: Goodbye to the hydra. Hydra? More like bye-dra.

2:03:10 Ally: Three sixes, two threes, and a five.

2:03:12 Lou: I have 29 points of fire damage, I'm assuming.

2:03:15 Ally: Does that seal 'em all up? Does that seal 'em all up?

2:03:16 Brennan: Here's the deal. It made its save, takes half damage, and still is destroyed. Fabian Aramais Seacaster, describe what happens.

2:03:21 Emily: Yeah! [players applaud]

2:03:26 Lou: I think it's just, it's pure dance. I think it is dancing. It's all of the flow that he's been working on in class. None of the rigidness of stabbing. [classical piano]

2:03:34 Lou: It's just jumping, rolling over heads to stab other heads, to do sit-ups, to pop heads off. It's elegant. It's gorgeous. [Emily laughs]

2:03:44 Lou: Blood sprays everywhere. And I think Fabian literally like ends it in kind of like a bow.

2:03:54 Brennan: As you take the last head off, the Hangman goes.

2:03:57 Hangman: [growling]

2:03:59 Brennan: And fire roars out in a cone. Every single head is sealed. This headless monstrosity tumbles to the ground dead and the Hangman on his big, boney, infernal paws bows in mirror of you in the dance.

2:04:14 Hangman: Sire.

2:04:14 Zac: It's like when they dance with their dog.

2:04:16 Siobhan: Yeah! Put on a little top hat and a cane.

2:04:19 Brennan: And after Fabian's turn the Hydra was up next. Incredible. Any bonus actions from Fabian?

2:04:26 Lou: Uh...

2:04:29 Fabian: Adaine! You got this.

2:04:32 Adaine: Me?

2:04:32 Fabian: You!

2:04:33 Adaine: Oh!

2:04:33 Lou: Bardic.

2:04:34 Brennan: Incredible! Hydra no more. Off the fuckin' battlefield. It is Gavin Pundle's turn.

2:04:42 Siobhan: Gavin Pundle gets a turn?

2:04:44 Brennan: Gavin Pundle goes,

2:04:44 Gavin Pundle: Okay.

2:04:46 Brennan: And writes something down in a little book.

2:04:48 Gorgug: Seems like a good thing.

2:04:49 Kristen: Seems like a good guy.

2:04:50 Brennan: The Mimic is gonna take a swing at Adaine. Which is gonna interact, I believe, with Mirror Image.

2:04:54 Siobhan: If it hits me I then roll.

2:04:56 Brennan: It does hit.

2:04:59 Siobhan: [rolls a d20] No, it don't.

2:05:00 Brennan: All right, one of your duplicates blinks out of existence as the Mimic attacks. Figueroth Faeth, that is your turn.

2:05:06 Ally: Yeah!

2:05:07 Emily: I feel like the dice don't believe in me. And I don't know if I believe in myself.

2:05:16 Siobhan: Area of effect?

2:05:16 Brennan: You got it, you got it.

2:05:18 Ally: Come on.

2:05:18 Brennan: Come on, Fig.

2:05:19 Ally: We've got a big area of effect right here.

2:05:21 Emily: I think I'm not gonna try to do any of that.

2:05:23 Lou: Yeah, Riz has got that.

2:05:25 Emily: I could just probably get rid of these guys. [gesturing to a clump of skeletons] But I kinda wanna do this. [gestures to the ochre jellies]

2:05:28 Murph: I feel like those guys might be—

2:05:29 Emily: They're gonna be like resistance to fire.

2:05:31 Murph: I think they're weak to fire.

2:05:32 Emily: You think they're weak to fire? They look like they're orange.

2:05:35 Siobhan: But they're wet.

2:05:36 Emily: They're wet? Okay. Then let's try and light some. Let's try and... I don't trust myself, so.

2:05:43 Murph: Here's my worry with these dudes,  if we don't deal with them with an area of effect spell,  like a heavy hitter like me  that can only hit one person  is never gonna be able to deal with these dudes,  and these dudes are coming for the proctor.

2:05:54 Emily: Great, I love it. We're gonna do a fifth level. I'm so sorry to your dust mephit.

2:05:59 Siobhan: It's absolutely fine.

2:06:00 Emily: We're gonna do a fifth level Fireball on everyone here.

2:06:02 Brennan: I wish to die! Fifth level Fireball, that's gonna hit absolutely everybody.

2:06:08 Emily: Okay, excellent.

2:06:09 Zac: The dust in that AC unit caught fire.

2:06:10 Ally: Try to hit Buddy too. [Emily rolls so many dice]

2:06:15 Siobhan: Look at that.

2:06:16 Emily: No. A lot of twos and threes.

2:06:19 Siobhan: Hey, but that's a lot of dice.

2:06:21 Ally: You're really Brennan-ing over there.

2:06:24 Murph: How many d6?

2:06:26 Siobhan: Just so many.

2:06:26 Emily: 10, but it will be disappointing. Okay, 33 damage.

2:06:32 Murph: That's great.

2:06:33 Brennan: 33 damage.  Fig, astride your Daymare, this horse  of the former Goddess Ankarna,  you watch as the otyugh, the mephit,  and both of the smaller jellies vanish.  Go ahead and describe to me what  the spell looks like as it erupts over the battlefield.

2:06:53 Emily: I think that, I mean this is just infernal. This is just Fig. I just throw a bunch of- I summon a bunch of rebellious flame and throw it at them.

2:07:04 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

2:07:04 Ally: Your new song blasts.

2:07:05 Emily: Yeah. It looks like a football in my hand and shout, "Brady" and then throw it.

2:07:11 Brennan: Incredible. The remaining ochre jellies do not split. They look vastly, vastly diminished. Even the two that are remaining are this big now.

2:07:22 Ally: Oh, they're too cute!

2:07:24 Emily: They’re so cute!

2:07:25 Ally: Oh my god, they're so cute!

2:07:27 Lou: Look at the little babies!

2:07:28 Siobhan: They're little babies. Can we be friends with them?

2:07:31 Emily: And I will also Hexblade Curse this guy.

2:07:33 Brennan: The gorgon.

2:07:33 Ally: Oh nice!

2:07:35 Emily: Since he's in my Spirit Guardians.

2:07:37 Brennan: Okay, that's your bonus action.  Gorgug, that is your turn.  You guys, this first turn of the Bad Kids,  these monsters come just meeting  their fuckin' certain death.  As you guys swarm all over them.

2:07:47 Zac: I'm gonna back off from the skeletons in front of me. And I'm gonna take, I think three attacks on the bull.

2:07:59 Brennan: Cool. Go for it.

2:08:01 Zac: A Reckless. Nat 20.

2:08:03 Brennan: Oh my god.

2:08:05 Zac: Second attack. Nat 20.

2:08:08 Ally: What?

2:08:08 Brennan: What the fuck?

2:08:10 Siobhan: That frickin' legible dice.

2:08:12 Brennan: What the fuck is going on?

2:08:14 Ally: [disbelieving giggling]

2:08:15 Zac: And then frenzy.

2:08:19 Brennan: They are all three going to hit.

2:08:22 Ally: Wow, two crits and a hit.

2:08:23 Lou: Are these ranged attacks?

2:08:24 Zac: Yes, ranged with the Returning axe.

2:08:26 Lou: Fucking unreal.

2:08:28 Brennan: Ha, ha, ha!

2:08:29 Zac: So that's, this is the first two attacks.

2:08:34 Emily: Oh my god.