Infernal Conflict

0:00:19 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 13: Infernal Conflict < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] >

0:00:33 Content Warnings: Flaying Flesh, Self-Harm [Intro Theme]

0:00:48 Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year". I'm your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our Intrepid Heroes. Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:00:55 All: Hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:00:59 Brennan: Oh, wow. Last we left off, a wonderful nat one roll on a d4.

0:01:07 Ally: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

0:01:07 Siobhan: True king shit. Absolute king shit.

0:01:10 Brennan: True king shit.

0:01:13 Lou: Suck ass, Murph. Ally laughs as Murph smiles.

0:01:14 Brennan: Got us all the way out of the spectral Mordred Manor in the heart of The Ball's briefcase. Yes, on a winter trip for the Moonar Yulenear in Fallinel, where the whole fam and a bunch of the gang got teleported to Fallinel, you visited Tracker's Wolfsong encampment, where you found an ancient circle of standing stones with the original marriage contract written in stone between the gods Cassanda and Ankarna, with their witnesses and honor attendants of Galicaea and Ruvina, officiated by Sol. You saw multiple Divine Interventions occurring at once as the name was discovered and read aloud for the first time in an age of Spyre, and with some quick thinking, some Counterspelling, and a dive inside of a briefcase, you found yourself face to face with Baron of the Baronies. There was some rooting around, exploring a nightmarish version of Mordred Manor where you fought spectral foes in the guise of mentors and loved ones and close, dear friends, and eventually all got the hell out of there with six items manifesting the broken curse of Gilear Faeth. You have gotten to the graveyard and erupt back out of The Ball's briefcase, all following a trail of screaming yellow light as the curse is broken, regathered, and you have formed all of this energy. We cut back to exactly this moment with Adaine Abernant holding the Sword of Sight aloft, all of you swirling around behind. Fig and Kristen, each of you watch as the shards of twilight glow purple and begin to sort of fend off around you, once again with mirrors, the light of this yellow gleaming at the tip of Adaine's sword. You can hear distant voices yelling out,

0:03:04 Gilear: Figueroth!

0:03:08 Thistlesprings: Gorgug! Gorgug, buddy, can you hear us?

0:03:10 Brennan: Of all the various parents gathered around with Aelwyn outside the actual briefcase. What would you like to do in this moment of traveling through this interdimensional wormhole?

0:03:21 Siobhan: Can I do an Arcana check on this curse to maybe see where it came from, or at least get… I mean, I know it's infernal.

0:03:30 Brennan: Yes.

0:03:32 Siobhan: But see if I can get more of a handle on it than just "somewhere in Hell"?

0:03:38 Brennan: Go ahead and give me an Arcana check. Siobhan grimaces at her roll. Lou makes an overly anxious face that cracks Ally up.

0:03:46 Siobhan: I mean, it's a 14.

0:03:48 Brennan: On a 14, you know that the origin of the curse is infernal. You pinpoint it more specifically as being a curse attached to the Armor of Pride, and yet Gilear's life was bad far before he ever put on–

0:04:06 Siobhan: As far as we know.

0:04:06 Brennan: As far as you know. So I think that you know on a 14 that more answers might lie in the infernal library of the Bottomless Pit, where you originally– where Riz was reading all those law books back in sophomore year.

0:04:24 Emily: Might have gotten rid of all those to build a recording studio.

0:04:27 Murph: You don't have, like, a cool area, with all kinda vinyl records and also books in the recording studio?

0:04:31 Emily: I just really made it clear that we were doing a recording studio.

0:04:36 Siobhan: So it's basically 50/50 whether Baby burned the books or not.

0:04:40 Emily: Yeah.

0:04:40 Siobhan: Great. Cool.

0:04:41 Murph: Okay!

0:04:43 Zac: We just gotta hope.

0:04:46 Murph: Hey, at the end of the day, you just gotta hope.

0:04:47 Zac: What else are we gonna do?

0:04:48 Emily: I could shoot a text, but Baby doesn't look at his phone.

0:04:52 Ally: He's always losing his phone.

0:04:55 Zac: His phone is on Hell mode.

0:04:55 Ally: People are calling it. It's going right to voicemail. That's just a Baby thing.

0:04:58 Brennan: We cut to the outside of an endless, bottomless pit with just a huge rented dumpster full of books and way in the distance of a blasted plane of fire, a dump truck just slowly ambling.

0:05:09 Ally: No!

0:05:09 Siobhan: Roll for dump truck.

0:05:10 Emily: I text Baby,

0:05:10 Fig: Save the books!

0:05:15 Fig: Fuck.

0:05:16 Brennan: Incredible.

0:05:17 Fig: He doesn't do read receipts.

0:05:21 Kristen: Someone message him.

0:05:22 Brennan: You see that Baby has, "My notifications are silenced" on.

0:05:27 Adaine: Notify anyway?

0:05:28 Fig: Notify anyway! Notify anyway!

0:05:32 Riz: What is Baby doing that he can't be distracted?

0:05:36 Brennan: We cut to see Baby just doing his gyration thing in a perfectly empty room, screaming so loud.

0:05:41 Ally: Phone's lighting up in the back corner. He's completely ignoring it.

0:05:44 Zac: Baby was talking about being on his phone too much.

0:05:48 Brennan: Incredible. So you know that there's probably more information awaiting you in the Bottomless Pit if you wanted to research the armor specifically.

0:05:54 Siobhan: Okay, cool.

0:05:55 Brennan: And you also feel that the curse has a connection to Hell in this moment. You feel, moving through this extradimensional space, the likeliest course is for you to be ejected back out through the entrance you came in, which is The Ball's briefcase. However, moving in this extradimensional way, you do have a potential, if you want. You see the edge of the Sword of Sight almost sharpens as reams of paper and all these different file cases in The Ball's briefcase circle around. And you almost see an extradimensional edge to the sharpest point of the blade of the Sword of Sight.

0:06:33 Riz: We can send a message to our parents that we're taking a detour, but that we're okay.

0:06:36 Adaine: Yeah.

0:06:37 Riz: If you wanna just go somewhere else.

0:06:38 Adaine: You wanna just go to Hell?

0:06:39 Murph: Cool, I'm gonna send a message to my mom. I assume since we hear them and stuff, we could direct a message and just be like,

0:06:43 Riz: We're cool! We're just gonna take a quick diversion to Fig's recording studio in Hell.

0:06:49 Sklonda: What?

0:06:49 Riz: Sorry, Mom.

0:06:51 Zac: We're fine! We're going to Hell!

0:06:53 Murph: We're fine, we're fine.

0:06:53 Emily: We don't have to do that. I thought we were going to use it for Lydia.

0:06:57 Murph: We'll find out.

0:06:58 Siobhan: I think we probably are gonna use it for Lydia.

0:06:59 Emily: Okay.

0:06:59 Murph: But let's find out about–

0:07:01 Ally: Just do a quick detour, if we can.

0:07:02 Murph: Let's find out where it's for.

0:07:03 Brennan: So you don't wanna use the curse to get to Hell, correct?

0:07:06 Siobhan: If the curse can only get us to Hell, then I have a better way of doing that that doesn't involve us using this incredible power that we just fought–

0:07:15 Brennan: If you wanna store the power in the sword for the time being and use your regular power–

0:07:19 Siobhan: Yes.

0:07:19 Brennan: Hell, yeah. Go for it.

0:07:21 Siobhan: Great, then I will cast Plane Shift and take us to Fig's–

0:07:24 Brennan: Sick. How does Adaine cast Plane Shift? What does that look like?

0:07:28 Siobhan: I think it's full "Bill and Ted's Incredible Adventure", you know those blue doors made of light? She just cuts one out of the air with her sword, and then we can just walk through it.

0:07:41 Ally: Incredible!

0:07:42 Brennan: Very "Harold and the Purple Crayon". Glowing slice, glowing slice, glowing slice, glowing slice, and suddenly all of you have a door that follows with you as you spiral up that you leap through.

0:07:54 Ally: Woo!

0:07:55 Brennan: And all of you are standing in a hot, dark room.

0:08:00 Adaine: [pants and waves her face] It's hot!

0:08:00 Brennan: As you look over at several flayed souls standing with instruments on a beautiful rug.

0:08:06 Fig: This is so embarrassing. I didn't know we were coming to my house.

0:08:10 Emily: I go around and start cleaning.

0:08:12 Kristen: No, Fig! Fig, it's fine!

0:08:14 Fabian: It's great.

0:08:14 Adaine: Are you okay with this?

0:08:15 Fig: I don't have any food in the fridge.

0:08:17 Fabian: Not even, like, a lemonade?

0:08:18 Adaine: Are you okay with these flayed guys standing on the rug? I feel like they're very drippy.

0:08:21 Fig: I don't know if they come another way. I think flayed is the only-

0:08:26 Gorgug: Is it okay to use your bathroom now, or do we have to just...

0:08:30 Brennan: You see that the door opens. There is a spine devil, so just truly covered in razor sharp barbs, but he's got an incredibly long, white beard with a little leather cord tying off the end and a huge, scraggly, white ponytail and glasses on sort of an arched nose.

0:08:48 Ally: This is all my uncles. [players laugh]

0:08:51 Brennan: Comes in.

0:08:52 Emily: It could be!

0:08:52 Brennan: His headphones are absolutely shredded by the spines on his body, have ripped the foam out of his headphones. He comes in and is like,

0:08:58 Spine Devil: Oh, hey. You guys part of the band? You guys recording in here?

0:09:05 Kristen: We're looking for the books.

0:09:07 SD: What's that?

0:09:08 Kristen: We're looking for all the books.

0:09:09 Brennan: He says,

0:09:09 SD: Oh! Archdevil, Ms. Faeth! My name, it's Rip. Nice to meet you.

0:09:17 Fig: Nice to meet you, Rip. I'm Fig. We like to keep it three letters down here.

0:09:21 Rip: You got it. Well, hey, so, you know. Did you say you were looking for a fridge? We got a mini fridge. We got seltzer.

0:09:30 Gorgug: Fridge?

0:09:30 Fabian: Yeah, I'll take a seltzer.

0:09:32 Fig: They're looking for books, but I am–

0:09:34 Fabian: I do need a seltzer.

0:09:34 Riz: I'm looking for books.

0:09:36 Adaine: Do you have any fridges that are cold? All of the seltzers in here are warmer than the room.

0:09:41 Rip: We keep them piping hot.

0:09:44 Kristen: All right, I'll have a hot seltzer.

0:09:45 Fig: It kinda tricks you into thinking that it's carbonated.

0:09:48 Fabian: What does “refrigerate” mean down here? Refrigerate? I mean, you called it a fridge.

0:09:53 Rip: Yeah, well, it's a fridge, but it's broken, so it's piping-

0:09:57 Fabian: Got it, so you just have a box.

0:09:58 Riz: A sweltering box.

0:09:58 Fig: Yeah.

0:10:00 Gorgug: Isn't that sort of like–

0:10:01 Rip: But the nice thing about the fridge being that hot is you don't actually have to carbonate the seltzer. The heat does that.

0:10:06 Fig: That's the thing. So it's bubbling, you know?

0:10:06 Riz: Yeah, boiling water in cans.

0:10:09 Gorgug: Oh.

0:10:09 Kristen: Okay.

0:10:11 Adaine: Innovative.

0:10:11 Murph: Riz badly burns his hand.

0:10:13 Riz: Ah! Ah!

0:10:16 Kristen: Oh, so it's hot grapefruit. Okay. [Riz grunting in pain] [cans hissing]

0:10:22 Fabian: Ah! Okay, they're all like this!

0:10:25 Gorgug: How many did we want? [players grunting in pain] [cans hissing]

0:10:31 Fabian: It's very hot.

0:10:31 Kristen: It's good, though.

0:10:33 Rip: So that'll be $2.50, $2.50, $2.50. [pointing at whoever took a seltzer]

0:10:35 Fabian: What?

0:10:35 Gorgug: No, no, no.

0:10:37 Riz: Fig!

0:10:39 Fabian: We don't get a discount?

0:10:41 Gorgug: [pointing at Rip] You're unbelievable.

0:10:41 Rip: What?

0:10:43 Fig: Hey man, I'm in charge here!

0:10:43 Emily: I pay him.

0:10:47 Brennan: He goes,

0:10:47 Rip: Oh shit, thank you. This is my first paycheck, and I've been working here since 1963.

0:10:54 Gorgug: 1963?

0:10:56 Fig: Yeah, and the year is 1982.

0:10:59 Riz: There you go.

0:10:59 Kristen: Wait.

0:11:00 Rip: Wait a minute!

0:11:02 Brennan: You see Rip walks out and says,

0:11:02 Rip: Books, I wouldn't know. Baby's been running around like, you know, he's been on fire, man. I mean, we all have a little bit. Wink.

0:11:11 Fabian: Oh, okay.

0:11:11 Fabian: 'Cause it's so hot here?

0:11:13 Rip: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [can hisses] [Lou whimpers]

0:11:16 Rip: You guys wanna listen to this groove? Do you wanna hear this groove they're laying down, by the way?

0:11:19 Fig: Yeah, I would love to, yeah.

0:11:22 Brennan: Make a little Performance check. [rolls in front of the board] 12. Incredibly average groove, like jam band music.

0:11:30 Fig: Okay, okay. I feel like everyone's soloing at the same time.

0:11:35 Rip: Exactly.

0:11:35 Fig: Okay.

0:11:36 Rip: All these guys hate each other. They don't wanna work together.

0:11:39 Fig: Okay.

0:11:39 Riz: That makes sense.

0:11:40 Kristen: So they're making really chill music, but they're all kinda coked out?

0:11:43 Riz: Competing?

0:11:43 Rip: Oh yeah, big time.

0:11:45 Riz: They're all in different keys. Everyone's really good at their instruments.

0:11:47 Adaine: They're all really talented.

0:11:48 Gorgug: You can tell the vibe is tainted.

0:11:50 Kristen: They've all tried to start their own bands, and people find them insufferable, so they've had to work together.

0:11:55 Brennan: You see Rip points at the drum, and it says Tainted Vibe on it.

0:11:59 Gorgug: Oh wow. I must've read that one.

0:12:02 Fabian: Subliminal.

0:12:05 Brennan: Amazing. So all of you– [can hissing]

0:12:07 Brennan: All of you see the door out of the studio. You get back to the Bottomless Pit, this winding spiral going down into an endless quarry, and you just see souls pouring from the red, fiery sky overhead, falling into the bottom of the pit.

0:12:24 Fabian: We just, like, hung out here for a while.

0:12:26 Fig: Yeah, this is what I do, or what I'm supposed to do.

0:12:30 Brennan: You see, [poof]

0:12:30 Baby: Mistress!

0:12:33 Fig: Oh, Wretchrot. I'm so happy that you're here. We're looking for books.

0:12:37 Baby: I destroyed all of them.

0:12:37 Fig: What?

0:12:40 Adaine: No, you liar.

0:12:41 Riz: Baby!

0:12:41 Fabian: Why?

0:12:42 Emily: Can I do an Insight?

0:12:42 Brennan: Do an Insight check.

0:12:45 Emily: I do it with disadvantage, so 11.

0:12:47 Brennan: He's gonna roll Deception. He's lying terribly. He wants you to think he destroyed them all 'cause he thinks that's what you want.

0:12:54 Fig: Okay, oh my god. Okay, but I really need to find the books, though.

0:12:59 Baby: Huh? Oh! Well, I destroyed them insofar as I put them in a dumpster outside of the Pit.

0:13:06 Fig: That's wonderful!

0:13:06 Baby: Wait, what day is it today?

0:13:08 Kristen: It it trash day?

0:13:08 Baby: Ah! It's Thursday!

0:13:11 Zac: We hear the trucks coming.

0:13:11 Ally: We run, we run.

0:13:13 Kristen: Take us there, Baby! [Baby yelps creepily]

0:13:16 Kristen: Baby, stop dancing. Just run. [Baby screaming]

0:13:17 Kristen: No!

0:13:19 Murph: So slow.

0:13:20 Brennan: He takes out a huge Android and says,

0:13:20 Baby: Oh shit!

0:13:23 Brennan: And starts noticing all these messages.

0:13:26 Adaine: You have a keyboard on that phone?

0:13:27 Baby: Yes, it goes on a wire into my pocket, which I've carved into my body.

0:13:31 Kristen: Okay.

0:13:31 Gorgug: That's kinda cool.

0:13:32 Kristen: Android users are weird. Let's go!

0:13:36 Brennan: All of you rush out overhead. You see, as you approach, there is a dump truck that is lowering a forklift underneath the dumpster.

0:13:45 Kristen: Stop!

0:13:45 Fig: Banish it.

0:13:47 Ally: I banish the forklift. I use a spell slot.

0:13:50 Brennan: You banish the forklift with the dump truck to its plane of origin, which is Hell, so it just sort of goes bwoop for a minute, and everyone goes, Oh! Oh no, we're here. We're where we belong.

0:13:59 Kristen: Stop!

0:14:02 Brennan: With a sudden roar, [tense music] fiery clouds rumble overhead, and emerging from the clouds, a horrifying shape. In a roar of flame, in a blast of fire, boom! The dump truck is destroyed as a massive dragon ship pulls out of the sky.

0:14:16 Emily: Ooh! [points at Lou]

0:14:29 Lou: Oh, oh gosh! Fabian's too giddy, and is just gonna try and keep it together.

0:14:36 Brennan: You see, swinging around, you see a crew of devil pirates. [Brennan hollering enthusiasticallly] You see, up on the deck, Alistair Ash, the old tiefling, says,

0:14:45 Alistair: Hi there, everyone! Good to see you again!

0:14:48 Adaine: [waving] Hi, Alistair.

0:14:48 Riz: [waving] Hi, Alistair.

0:14:50 Brennan: You see as it pulls around, having destroyed the dump truck, you see on a rope hanging from the mizzenmast over the side, rappelling, you hear a massive [buzzing] of a tattoo gun with golden ink as you see, pulling around, your father points at you.

0:15:10 Bill: My darling boy!

0:15:13 Fabian: Papa!

0:15:14 Brennan: As he tattoos on Kalvaxus's ass, "My son is a maximum legend at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

0:15:24 Lou: Fabian cries.

0:15:26 Brennan: Kalvaxus goes,

0:15:26 Kalvaxus: Ow! It hurts! It's so sensitive back there!

0:15:32 Brennan: As the ship pulls around, all your books are safe. You see they land. Bill Seacaster leaps off the thing. Bam.

0:15:38 Bill: My darling boy!

0:15:38 Fabian: Papa!

0:15:41 Brennan: Big hug.

0:15:41 Bill: I got your message. I was in the middle of slashing the brow of Asmodeus himself before he could teleport away from my blade, the coward and the bastard!

0:15:53 Fabian: I'm sorry, it was kinda wandering too long anyway. You know, I just needed to know about Fig's whole pride armor thing, but we fixed that now.

0:15:59 Fig: Oh yeah, we're good.

0:15:59 Bill: Oh!

0:16:01 Riz: We need to know where it's from.

0:16:02 Fig: Oh.

0:16:03 Ally: I Scrooge McDuck dive into the dumpster of books. Yeehaw! And I'd like to roll a Religion check.

0:16:09 Brennan: Give me a Religion check.

0:16:09 Ally: Okay, great.

0:16:11 Siobhan: I'll give them the Help action.

0:16:13 Murph: Yeah, I'll Investigate too.

0:16:13 Ally: That's so fucking high.

0:16:15 Gorgug: Fabian, I think you have hot seltzer.

0:16:16 Fabian: Oh, do I?

0:16:16 Gorgug: Yeah.

0:16:17 Fabian: Yeah, I opened another one–

0:16:17 Ally: 25.

0:16:20 Fabian: ...when everyone wasn't looking, you know? I really wanted to taste it, but I can't do the screaming thing, you know?

0:16:28 Siobhan: Oh, I cast Ray of Frost on the refrigerator full of seltzers.

0:16:35 Kristen: Thank god!

0:16:38 Adaine: Give me one of those.

0:16:38 Fabian: This tastes like shit. [Siobhan yelps in pain] [can hissing]

0:16:41 Kristen: Now it's cold!

0:16:41 Adaine: It's so cold.

0:16:42 Riz: Now they're just wet and lukewarm.

0:16:43 Kristen: Yeah, totally. It didn't even get them cold.

0:16:45 Riz: It just got them so wet.

0:16:47 Brennan: Hell, yes. So on a 25, you are able to pull a series of scrolls inscribed on the skin of philanderers, stitched together with the sinew of corrupt priests.

0:17:04 Kristen: Guys, these smell real bad. Let's make this quick.

0:17:07 Ally: I start unrolling the skin.

0:17:08 Riz: Ah!

0:17:08 Murph: Yeah, just reading them like, ew.

0:17:10 Gorgug: Get some pics and then just put them back?

0:17:12 Kristen: Yeah, I would do anything to do that.

0:17:13 Adaine: That's a great, great idea.

0:17:13 Ally: I put them all on my iPad. Now I'm kinda looking through them like this.

0:17:17 Adaine: You really wanna wash your hands, and also wash your iPad.

0:17:21 Kristen: Oh, it's so wet now, and kinda slimy.

0:17:24 Brennan: You see very quickly that the armor of sins were collected by Gorthalax as basically a testament to his hall.

0:17:32 Ally: Right.

0:17:33 Brennan: Kind of a cool thing for a pit fiend to have. And on a 25 Religion check, you discover that all of the armors of pride were created by different infernal deities, different deities that presided somewhere in the Nine Hells, right? The one thing they all have in common is that they were made to punish a mortal for the sin associated with the armor. You are able to read that the mortal that was punished with the Armor of Pride originally was an elf of Fallinel named Athenriel. Anyone who would like to can also use these same tomes to make a History check.

0:18:15 Siobhan: I would love to make a History check.

0:18:17 Lou: I will as well.

0:18:19 Brennan: Boggy will go ahead and give you the Help action there.

0:18:21 Siobhan: Great.

0:18:21 Emily: I'll do it.

0:18:24 Ally: 20, not nat.

0:18:24 Siobhan: I got a 22.

0:18:26 Murph: I got a 27.

0:18:28 Ally: Yeah!

0:18:28 Siobhan: Nice.

0:18:29 Brennan: On a 27, you begin to look through. The armor passed through many generations of the elves of Fallinel. The armor had allowed them to win countless battles, but every battle that they won further destroyed the reputation and happiness of their family. It passed through five to six generations of elves before one elf was able to finally break the thing and give the armor away, and an archdevil was willing to take it, which is probably where Gorthalax got it. But in giving it away, they cursed their family forever. The curse had existed in the armor, and giving it away, the curse moved from that, and in the records it said the curse continued patrilineally from that point forward. The curse, as it was described, was made to punish hubris, and you see at one point on that, you got a 27 and a 25, the curse is referred to as the curse of humility, curse of humiliation.

0:19:25 Siobhan: So is it patrilineal in that it only affects the men of the family, or is it patrilineal in that only the men can pass it on?

0:19:35 Brennan: You remember a detail of Gilear's life story, which is that his younger life was pretty normal, and you remember Sandra Lynn mentioning having known Gilear, but it was prior to when Gilear's father passed away.

0:19:51 Siobhan: Got it.

0:19:51 Brennan: You start to look through the history and go, "Oh, it's the passing away of the oldest person-"

0:19:57 Emily: It makes it go.

0:19:59 Brennan: Next generation. So you have your young life before the curse gets passed to you.

0:20:03 Ally: But then how did it get to Fig?

0:20:06 Brennan: That remains a big question.

0:20:09 Siobhan: Yes, and also Gilear is A, still alive, and B, not biologically her father.

0:20:14 Ally: Oh, yeah.

0:20:14 Emily: Not biologically.

0:20:14 Siobhan: But he is her dad.

0:20:16 Emily: But I think we've formed the kinda connection.

0:20:18 Siobhan: Right, and it's a curse, so it's not necessarily obeying the rules of genetics.

0:20:23 Ally: Curses are updating themselves all the time.

0:20:24 Murph: I mean, you were offered power from this source, right?

0:20:28 Emily: Mm-hmm, yeah.

0:20:29 Murph: So it's possible that because Gilear didn't have any biological children–

0:20:35 Emily: Yeah.

0:20:36 Murph: ...that the curse is trying to survive.

0:20:38 Emily: Yeah.

0:20:39 Brennan: Fig, you do remember some words that were spoken to you in that vision state by the Armor of Pride, where the Armor of Pride said something like, "It is not yours to take."

0:20:49 Emily: So maybe, well, because remember, Gilear did put on this pride armor, though.

0:20:55 Brennan: On that connection, you guys realize that Fig has cracked it, because the curse became a patrilineal family curse when the armor was given away.

0:21:03 Murph: Oh, right.

0:21:03 Brennan: By putting it back on–

0:21:05 Siobhan: He re-took the curse.

0:21:05 Murph: Got it.

0:21:07 Brennan: Or he maybe has confused it in some way, and put it in a position where Fig– 'cause you remember feeling in that original Night Yorb fight, you felt the presence of the curse. You were able to pull it onto yourself in exchange for a great burst of magic to defeat the Night Yorb. But being able to pull it onto yourself, that may have more to do with the fact that the curse was in a compromised state because Gilear put the armor back on. And you're an archdevil. A regular kid of Gilear's may not have had any connection to the curse, any connection to anything else.

0:21:44 Emily: It was forged in Hell.

0:21:47 Siobhan: And you kind of have ownership over both the armor and the curse.

0:21:49 Emily: Yeah, okay.

0:21:52 Siobhan: It's like a weird confluence of events, 'cause it's Gorthalax's armor, Gilear's curse.

0:21:57 Emily: The armor's not here anymore though, right?

0:21:58 Brennan: It is. All the armors of sin are still here.

0:22:01 Emily: Can we look at them all?

0:22:01 Ally: Yeah.

0:22:03 Emily: Wanna try them all on? Wait, there's six left!

0:22:06 Murph: They're cool now, right?

0:22:06 Emily: There's six left, right?

0:22:07 Siobhan: I actually might take a nap, 'cause to be honest, I only have one 7th level spell.

0:22:11 Lou: I'm gonna go hang out with my papa.

0:22:13 Siobhan: I might just need to take four hours of trancing to get back spell slots.

0:22:15 Murph: I wanna go check out the armor for sure.

0:22:17 Brennan: You see that Bill Seacaster says,

0:22:19 Bill: It's so nice to be with you young folks again. You're out here, here you are, solving mysteries, breaking curses. How are things going up there in the world above?

0:22:30 Riz: You know?

0:22:30 Adaine: So good.

0:22:32 Kristen: Got this asshole that's trying to win president over me.

0:22:35 Bill: Kill them!

0:22:35 Kristen: I know. I'm this close.

0:22:37 Adaine: I hate her so much. Also, we put tartar sauce in your pool.

0:22:41 Bill: You put tartar sauce in the swimming pool?

0:22:43 Fabian: Yes, we–

0:22:43 Kristen: Lit it on fire.

0:22:44 Fabian: Shrimp jump.

0:22:44 Kristen: And then I, but I'll be honest, it was Fig, did a really sick flip into the fiery tartar sauce.

0:22:50 Fig: Disguised as Kristen Applebees.

0:22:51 Bill: Why tartar sauce?

0:22:51 Riz: It's a shrimp jump.

0:22:54 Adaine: It was the shrimp jump.

0:22:55 Kristen: Oh yeah, it was a shrimp jump.

0:22:56 Adaine: The Hangman was dressed as a shrimp.

0:22:57 Bill: Oh, all right, a shrimp jump.

0:22:59 Adaine: And then everybody buttered themselves up, and also shrimp jumped.

0:23:02 Gorgug: We should definitely stay on this, and the buttery ramp, which I still don't understand.

0:23:05 Adaine: Oh!

0:23:06 Gorgug: But there was a god that kinda–

0:23:07 Riz: Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

0:23:07 Fabian: Oh, yes!

0:23:10 Adaine: Yes, can I also ask you about, there was something in your basement that somebody messed with it, and it's called a Cloud Rider.

0:23:16 Fig: Cloud Rider.

0:23:16 Adaine: Do you know what that is?

0:23:18 Bill: To be honest, as soon as I got to Solace, I just told my man Mr. Hughes, your banker–

0:23:23 Fabian: Yes, he calls me sometimes.

0:23:25 Bill: I grabbed him by the fucking scrotum and I said, you get me as many magic engines as you can! And then I slapped his teeth out of his mouth.

0:23:33 Fabian: Am I supposed to do that with him?

0:23:34 Bill: Well, otherwise, he'll walk all over you. He's a banker. They're the scum of the fucking earth. They're thieves, and I'm a pirate.

0:23:42 Fabian: It's been added to the agenda.

0:23:44 Kristen: I can't wait to watch you try this for the first time. A tentative grab towards–

0:23:47 Fabian: Hey, come here.

0:23:50 Adaine: Hey.

0:23:50 Fabian: Get over here. Hey, where are you going?

0:23:53 Adaine: Hey, can you stand up from behind your desk?

0:23:54 Fabian: Stop moving backwards!

0:23:55 Bill: A word of advice, my darling boy.

0:23:56 Fabian: Yes?

0:23:56 Bill: Get your stance wide, 'cause you're gonna have to come in horizontal, 'cause think about the dip of the arm getting the nuts, getting the jewels in your hand, but you've got to have enough wingspan–

0:24:07 Ally: Kristen's writing all of this down.

0:24:08 Bill: ...to come across and get the teeth!

0:24:10 Fabian: Now, do you do anything, 'cause I feel like there's gonna be a whole five seconds where I'm getting in position, what are you saying during that moment to kinda keep him off guard?

0:24:18 Bill: You have your man.

0:24:18 Fabian: Uh-huh.

0:24:19 Bill: Put a flintlock to his head.

0:24:19 Fabian: Okay, cool.

0:24:21 Bill: And you say, stand still while I try this!

0:24:23 Fabian: The Ball?

0:24:23 Riz: No!

0:24:24 Fabian: The Ball!

0:24:24 Kristen: Stand still while I try this?

0:24:26 Fig: I'll do it!

0:24:26 Riz: She'll do it!

0:24:27 Fabian: Okay, great.

0:24:29 Gorgug: Do you have a flintlock pistol?

0:24:31 Fig: I can Minor Illusion-

0:24:31 Bill: You do now! [throws Fig a gun] Fig twirls it and fires it. [players shouting excitedly] [pistol fires]

0:24:36 Fabian: Jesus!

0:24:38 Bill: [cackles] Everyone draw steel!

0:24:42 Adaine: Can I get one?

0:24:42 Bill: What's that?

0:24:44 Adaine: Can I have a gun?

0:24:44 Brennan: He tosses you a gun.

0:24:46 Fabian: Jesus!

0:24:47 Brennan: He says,

0:24:47 Bill: Alistair, get guns for the kids!

0:24:53 Fabian: I miss you, Papa.

0:24:53 Bill: I miss you, too.

0:24:55 Ally: Kristen's standing there with her staff.

0:24:56 Brennan: He says,

0:24:56 Bill: All right, well, it seems like some of you need to go speak to some haunted armor of some kind. The rest, you'll come up and cut a caper and have a drink on the Goldenrod.

0:25:05 Fabian: Yes!

0:25:05 Gorgug: I'll go with you.

0:25:07 Fig: Yeah, I mean, I feel like this is my location, or my–

0:25:10 Riz: Let's go investigate the armor!

0:25:11 Fig: Okay, we have to investigate the armor.

0:25:13 Riz: We don't have to, we get to!

0:25:15 Brennan: You see Bill looks at you and says,

0:25:17 Bill: You don't want to investigate the armor, do you?

0:25:18 Ally: We bring the armor with us.

0:25:18 Fig: No.

0:25:19 Bill: You want to have grog and dance a merry caper.

0:25:21 Fig: I wanna have grog and I wanna talk to you about being a warlock and what you make your, what agreements-

0:25:27 Bill: Well, it's very simple. See, by the time-

0:25:29 Fig: What's the agreement that you make?

0:25:30 Bill: ...all of your sub-warlocks are hiring other warlocks, you're making spell slots.

0:25:35 Fig: But they have to make an agreement with you, though. What's the agreement that you make them make?

0:25:41 Bill: Oh, it's a very simple agreement. See, all these other fiends and archdevils, they're always bargaining for your soul, bargaining for your soul. The people that make deals for their soul, their souls are not worth that much.

0:25:53 Fig: Uh-huh.

0:25:53 Bill: So I just charge them gold. Cash on the barrelhead.

0:25:56 Fig: Right, okay.

0:25:58 Bill: I'm the richest devil there's ever been. And then what you do is if they're using spell slots and they're not meeting their minimums, they're not meeting their quotas, then there's a clause at the end that you suck their soul to the ship and they become a damned crew member forever on the Goldenrod as I fight my war against the Devil himself. But, you know, that's only if they fuck up!

0:26:19 Emily: Okay, I write all this down, and I'm gonna turn this in as my assignment.

0:26:28 Bill: Are you just trying to make an agreement for—

0:26:30 Fig: Yeah, I was just curious how you word your agreements.

0:26:32 Bill: Are you just trying to cheat at school?

0:26:36 Kristen: He's gonna love that.

0:26:36 Fig: Kind of, yeah.

0:26:38 Bill: Let's cheat at school! I'll write you a fake agreement. If you give me 40 gold pieces, I'll write you a fake agreement.

0:26:47 Fig: I don't think I have 40 gold pieces.

0:26:49 Fabian: I can front you 40 gold pieces.

0:26:50 Fig: Will you front me?

0:26:51 Fabian: As long as you point a flintlock at the head of my banker when I go to grab his– Fig fires the pistol again.

0:26:57 Kristen: Jesus Christ! Ah!

0:26:59 Fabian: You're hitting all the seltzer! [Lou and Ally yelping] [cans hissing]

0:27:03 Bill: Now that's my favorite flintlock. It's got like 40 chambers.

0:27:07 Fig: It hits automatically.

0:27:07 Gorgug: They're never that fast!

0:27:12 Brennan: So yeah, he's like,

0:27:12 Bill: All right, 40 gold.

0:27:17 Fabian: It's your money that you left me.

0:27:20 Bill: Listen, I'm proud. I worked hard that you might have your way carved out, but not enough that you don't need to make a name for yourself.

0:27:29 Fabian: Yes, it's pretty annoying, and I'm adding more nemeses that we're gonna have to, if I end up–

0:27:34 Kristen: Oh yeah.

0:27:34 Bill: Ooh, how many are you up to?

0:27:36 Fabian: Two.

0:27:37 Bill: All right. Wait, who are the two?

0:27:38 Kristen: One's my girlfriend.

0:27:41 Bill: Your girlfriend's his nemesis? Now that's the kind of maximum legend shit I'm talking about!

0:27:45 Fabian: There it is! There it is!

0:27:47 Bill: Ooh, that's great, that's great.

0:27:48 Fabian: It's not bad, yeah.

0:27:48 Bill: That's really good.

0:27:50 Fabian: Uh-huh, yeah, I think the font is called Roboto.

0:27:54 Bill: That looks really raw. Do you need some saran wrap?

0:27:57 Fabian: Well, I just keep, I've been going in a lot of saunas and things.

0:28:00 Bill: Hell, it's bad. New tattoos in Hell, it's bad.

0:28:04 Adaine: He got hit by a lot of grapefruit seltzer.

0:28:06 Fabian: Yeah, I've had to go in for a lot of touch ups.

0:28:09 Kristen: You should get it outlined in gold!

0:28:12 Fig: Ooh!

0:28:12 Bill: Do you want a real gold tattoo, m'boy?

0:28:15 Fabian: Yes. Would you tattoo me, Papa?

0:28:18 Bill: Lie down.

0:28:18 Fabian: Okay.

0:28:21 Brennan: A thing he was using to tattoo a ship, which is a shoulder mounted tattoo gun.

0:28:26 Bill: Stay perfectly still, me boy! [Fabian babbling frantically]

0:28:29 Riz: I don't know if you need to do a neck one!

0:28:30 Zac: I'm holding Fabian's arms down.

0:28:31 Bill: We'll do it right now. Strike up the band!

0:28:33 Ally: I'm prepared with a 6th level Heal.

0:28:38 Riz: Just do, like, a foot tattoo!

0:28:41 Brennan: You see that he takes a chest of gold from one of these pirates nearby who's just holding a chest full of gold, takes it, opens it up and [roars] breathes flame into it, melts it, pours the molten gold into a cartridge in this cast iron tattoo harpoon. [Fabian sobbing]

0:29:01 Brennan: Give me a Constitution saving throw to not pass out.

0:29:04 Lou: Okay.

0:29:04 Brennan: DC 17.

0:29:06 Ally: I help you.

0:29:06 Lou: Okay.

0:29:07 Ally: I give you Resistance.

0:29:07 Emily: Just holding your hand.

0:29:09 Ally: Yeah, I'm holding your temples.

0:29:11 Murph: I'm making it worse, 'cause I keep making eye contact with you and looking so nervous.

0:29:14 Lou: So you tell me, is that disadvantage?

0:29:18 Murph: Yeah, I would like to give you disadvantage.

0:29:19 Brennan: Yeah, great.

0:29:19 Murph: He gets this flat.

0:29:22 Lou: That's only a 12.

0:29:22 Brennan: Only a 12? Okay.

0:29:24 Ally: You can add a d4 to that.

0:29:24 Lou: Oh, I can add a d4?

0:29:27 Brennan: DC 17.

0:29:27 Lou: There's no way.

0:29:28 Murph: Just go for it.

0:29:28 Emily: I'll give you a Bardic.

0:29:29 Brennan: Go for it? Okay, go for it.

0:29:29 Emily: Take a Bardic.

0:29:31 Lou: So that's two.

0:29:31 Murph: So where are you at?

0:29:33 Lou: I'm at 14.

0:29:33 Murph: Okay.

0:29:35 Lou: Now I have a Bardic. That's an eight.

0:29:37 Siobhan: Yes! There we go!

0:29:38 Brennan: There we go.

0:29:38 Lou: So because of my… Riz is not helping. [Murph cringing]

0:29:43 Lou: But everyone else. [Murph cringing]

0:29:46 Kristen: You're sick as fuck!

0:29:46 Fabian: Stop. Stop, The Ball.

0:29:47 Kristen: You're so good! It looks so good!

0:29:49 Fig: Can I do it?

0:29:49 Gorgug: Riz, are you gonna pass out?

0:29:52 Murph: Yeah, Riz passes out.

0:29:53 Emily: Fig's little hands get at it.

0:29:55 Brennan: So this gold is pumped into your neck. You have a solid gold tattoo that says Maximum Legend.

0:30:03 Fabian: My neck is so heavy.

0:30:06 Brennan: Fabian Seacaster, this tattoo counts as a magical tattoo.

0:30:09 Lou: Okay.

0:30:09 Brennan: You are immune to any curses attached to gold, including Dragon Madness.

0:30:14 Lou: Okay, there it is.

0:30:14 Ally: What?

0:30:15 Emily: Ooh!

0:30:16 Brennan: You can steal cursed gold and be fine.

0:30:18 Lou: Okay.

0:30:18 Murph: Sick!

0:30:20 Lou: Oh wow.

0:30:20 Ally: Can I get one too?

0:30:24 Brennan: You see he says,

0:30:24 Bill: Weggs, come over here for a moment.

0:30:26 Brennan: And you see this guy comes over and he says,

0:30:27 Bill: Take your shirt off.

0:30:28 Brennan: And you see he begins to tattoo gold into his back. And he says,

0:30:33 Bill: Whereforeupon the archdevil Figueroth Faeth of the Bottomless Pit has asked for an agreement between infernal entities that her magic may reign supreme here in Avernus, first layer of the Nine Hells. We see fit that for the cost of 40 gold pieces, this alliance shall have been made. Let this infernal contract be stood upon as a warlock agreement of the first order.

0:30:54 Brennan: And then he goes,

0:30:54 Bill: Hyah!

0:30:56 Brennan: And just fucking takes a cat o' nine tails and whips the back off of his pirate crew member, takes the bloody flap of skin, and hands it to you.

0:31:06 Fig: Thank you.

0:31:08 Ally: Kristen throws up.

0:31:08 Fig: Could we photocopy this?

0:31:11 Bill: There's a scanner onboard the Goldenrod.

0:31:13 Fig: Okay, 'cause I don't wanna turn this in.

0:31:15 Kristen: You can take a... [gags] You can take a picture of it with my iPad.

0:31:19 Bill: Why are you all crying and vomiting?

0:31:20 Gorgug: We could laminate it, or, I don't know.

0:31:22 Fig: Yeah, I think–

0:31:23 Bill: It's written in lovely gold ink.

0:31:25 Kristen: Just, the skin is so thick. It goes so much thicker down than you–

0:31:28 Bill: Well, you do it fast.

0:31:28 Fig: Can you do stitches? Do you know how to do stitches? Can we just stitch this back on–

0:31:34 Kristen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:31:35 Ally: I don't do any heals, I just kinda start hand-sewing. [Murph groans in sympathy]

0:31:39 Brennan: He goes...

0:31:39 Weggs: [cries of pain] My name's Weggs.

0:31:43 Kristen: All right, we've got three in. Don't worry. [Weggs wincing]

0:31:48 Brennan: So, anyone staying with Bill is just gonna have more of this shit happen fast and crazy. Is anyone going to go see the armor? Murph, Ally, and Siobhan raise their pointer fingers.

0:31:56 Brennan: Okay, bing bing bing bing.

0:31:56 Emily: Yeah, I can go see the armor.

0:31:58 Gorgug: If it's just me and you, I'll probably go with the armor.

0:32:02 Fabian: That's okay.

0:32:02 Gorgug: I'm not gonna third wheel your dad hang.

0:32:04 Fabian: No, I mean, you can hang out.

0:32:06 Gorgug: Nah, it's okay.

0:32:06 Brennan: But you do see he says,

0:32:09 Bill: This Cloud Rider engine, what's the nature of it?

0:32:13 Brennan: This is as you all head off to the Bottomless Pit, yeah.

0:32:16 Fabian: That person that we were talking about earlier, Kipperlilly Copperkettle, she keeps trying to get us all to do drugs and then get in trouble, so I ended up murdering the principal.

0:32:27 Bill: That's what I'm talking about!

0:32:29 Fabian: But it was in this attempt to make mischief around us, and so while they were doing that, they damaged one of the Cloud Rider engines in the basement, and they tried to make it look like Adaine had done it. We think. We can't prove it.

0:32:46 Bill: Was there any other vandalism done at the place?

0:32:50 Gorgug: Maybe not by them.

0:32:52 Bill: Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

0:32:52 Fabian: That's my guy.

0:32:54 Bill: Nice. What vandalism did you do?

0:32:57 Gorgug: I didn't really do any. I helped clean up. There was butter all over this ramp.

0:33:04 Bill: Oh, a nice buttered ramp. There you have it.

0:33:07 Gorgug: Can I ask what you would do with a buttered ramp?

0:33:09 Bill: Well, you have to butter it.

0:33:11 Gorgug: Do you?

0:33:12 Bill: Think about it.

0:33:12 Gorgug: I am.

0:33:13 Bill: What's the purpose of a ramp?

0:33:14 Gorgug: Well, to fly off of it.

0:33:16 Bill: I think you get that ramp nice and buttery, and then everything's just gonna take off.

0:33:19 Fabian: There it is.

0:33:19 Bill: How about this? You throw me up an unbuttered ramp, and then I'll throw you up a buttered ramp, and we'll see who goes farther.

0:33:29 Fabian: Do it, Gorgug.

0:33:30 Gorgug: This isn't exactly what I'm talking about, because one involves… You know what, let's do it.

0:33:36 Bill: Lads, get the butter! [Lou laughs]

0:33:39 Brennan: Cool, the rest of you head down to the Bottomless Pit. You walk into the Hall of Sin. This used to be a very haunted, dark sort of place. Now you see that there are a number of small sofas, there's a ficus plant in a corner, and there's a bunch of plaques of records that all just have pictures of Wretchrot in them, of his albums that have gone double and triple platinum.

0:34:03 Riz: Shit.

0:34:03 Fig: Wait, really?

0:34:04 Kristen: He's famous down here?

0:34:04 Fig: I guess so.

0:34:07 Kristen: You should get him to feature on one of your sophomore album songs.

0:34:10 Adaine: Yes!

0:34:10 Fig: Yeah. Yeah. Wretchrot?

0:34:12 Baby: Mistress?

0:34:15 Fig: I guess I'll just throw on his music, just to see what it's like.

0:34:17 Kristen: Oh, great. Yeah, let's listen to it.

0:34:18 Fig: Yeah.

0:34:19 Speaker: ♪ Baby Baby, Baby Baby Baby Baby ♪

0:34:22 Kristen: Let's listen to a different one.

0:34:22 Ally: I turn it.

0:34:24 Speaker: ♪ Baby, Baby Baby Baby Baby ♪ ♪ A little Baby, little Baby ♪

0:34:28 Kristen: Wait, this is the same song. Wait, hold on. Let's try a third one.

0:34:31 Speaker: Hey everybody, my name is Baby.

0:34:34 Kristen: Oh, this is a weird, like–

0:34:34 Fig: Oh god, he has skits!

0:34:36 Kristen: Oh no, there are some skits! Next one, next one!

0:34:38 Adaine: [dancing] It's making me do a dance.

0:34:38 Fig: Next one!

0:34:39 Speaker: Gotta do that dance to this music. ♪ Everybody move your torso ♪ ♪ Keep your head perfectly still ♪ ♪ Move your torso, head still ♪

0:34:46 Fig: So this is for weddings.

0:34:46 Kristen: Oh, I get it. That's great. Yeah, this is for weddings. I wonder if he has a voicemail from his grandma in one of these.

0:34:51 Fig: Yeah, yeah.

0:34:53 Speaker: Hey there, girl. Thinking about you right now. Hope everything's good. I'm down here in the Bottomless Pit. Made of blood. Scorpion tail. Round little body, shaking around.

0:35:04 Kristen: What?

0:35:04 Speaker: Think about you every night.

0:35:06 Fig: Baby, who are you dating?

0:35:08 Kristen: Baby, who is this one sent out to?

0:35:09 Baby: What's that? Oh, it's just, you know, we just thought… It's the concept of the song, Mistress. [giggles]

0:35:16 Fig: You don't actually have someone up there?

0:35:19 Kristen: You don't have a baby?

0:35:20 Baby: I've always dreamed of having a baby of my own.

0:35:25 Kristen: Oh.

0:35:26 Adaine: To eat?

0:35:28 Baby: [shrieking] Maybe!

0:35:28 Adaine: That's what I thought.

0:35:30 Baby: You know, I'm made from the blood of an archdevil. That's hard to come by, so.

0:35:34 Kristen: Oh.

0:35:35 Fig: Oh, you want me to make you a baby? I'll give it a shot. [cuts her hand]

0:35:42 Ally: Oh wow, this is some Adam and Eve shit.

0:35:45 Brennan: Your blood pools out, and you see another imp kind of appears and goes...

0:35:49 Imp: [giggling]

0:35:53 Kristen: Oh, hi!

0:35:53 Riz: Baby Baby.

0:35:55 Kristen: Welcome to the world.

0:35:55 Baby Baby: Is that my name? Baby Baby?

0:35:59 Kristen: Oh, it's Baby Baby and Baby!

0:36:02 Brennan: Baby says,

0:36:02 Baby: Hello, Baby Baby. I'm Baby.

0:36:05 Baby Baby: Hello, Baby! I'm Baby Baby!

0:36:07 Ally: I'm reading the contents of the seltzers that we've been drinking, 'cause I'm like, there has to be liquor in these.

0:36:14 Brennan: There has to be. We are drunk. And you see Baby holds Baby Baby's hand and says,

0:36:18 Baby: We're going to go somewhere private and try to make our bodies occupy the same exact physical space.

0:36:23 Kristen: Okay!

0:36:23 Fig: Oh my god! I've really made Hell.

0:36:26 Kristen: Yeah, yeah.

0:36:29 Brennan: You guys head off. You're just in this record label waiting room looking at all the various Armors of Sin, which are all still here.

0:36:35 Murph: So I'll do an Investigation check, check them out.

0:36:37 Brennan: Yeah.

0:36:38 Emily: I'll give you the Help action.

0:36:39 Ally: I'll do Arcana as well. Or can I do Religion?

0:36:40 Brennan: Yeah, do Religion.

0:36:43 Murph: 29.

0:36:43 Siobhan: That's better.

0:36:45 Ally: 21.

0:36:45 Siobhan: 24 Arcana.

0:36:47 Ally: Yes!

0:36:47 Brennan: All right, 24, 29. you find all the Armors of Sin are still here. You see the golden Armor of Pride with the halberd. There are elements of it that are aping certain elven stylistic choices. It is very golden and gleaming, almost like a high eleven mage-knight would wear it or something like that. But on that very high Investigation roll, there's something about it that does feel fundamentally infernal, but maybe there's some other aspect to it.

0:37:17 Murph: Like a summer eladrin or something?

0:37:18 Ally: Can I do a Religion?

0:37:18 Brennan: Kind of like a summer eladrin, a little bit.

0:37:20 Murph: So maybe some kind of archfey thing or something.

0:37:23 Brennan: It's that feeling of how, in "Lord of the Rings", Sauron made rings for everybody else and mimicked the style.

0:37:29 Murph: Yeah.

0:37:31 Brennan: So it's this thing of, ooh, there's a summer eladrin thing to this, in a way.

0:37:38 Emily: Are there other seasons associated with the other armor?

0:37:42 Brennan: Not off the top of your head. The Armor of Lust is sort of like a gimp suit, right? It has that leather–

0:37:47 Siobhan: Hot.

0:37:50 Brennan: Yeah.

0:37:50 Ally: Ah, winter.

0:37:52 Brennan: Winter. [laughs]

0:37:54 Siobhan: We think that Ankarna is maybe associated with summer.

0:37:57 Ally: Yes. Yes, we definitely do.

0:37:59 Brennan: What'd you get on your Religion and your Arcana?

0:38:01 Siobhan: I got a 24 Arcana.

0:38:01 Brennan: 24 Arcana.

0:38:03 Ally: 21.

0:38:03 Brennan: 21. I think you both look at this. Every one of these pieces of armor was made by a deity associated with the infernal realms. Do any of you cast Detect Magic?

0:38:14 Siobhan: Yeah, I'll cast Detect Magic on it.

0:38:15 Ally: Yeah, same.

0:38:16 Siobhan: Maybe one of you do Good and Evil.

0:38:18 Murph: Yeah, I'll do Detect Good and Evil.

0:38:20 Brennan: So you get the Gregorian Necktie going. As you go, all of you witness the same non-rune rune that you saw on the sternums of Yolanda and Lucy. But as Riz looks at it, the Gregorian Necktie goes [beeping] moves out, and the name Ankarna appears in sort of spectral, ethereal space as the arcane mark of this armor. The Armor of Pride was crafted for the mortal elf Athenriel by Ankarna. This armor was made by the god. Anyone who wants to, give me one more Investigation or History here, and I think you can also consult the scrolls and books that you have.

0:39:07 Emily: [to Murph] I'll give you the Help action.

0:39:08 Siobhan: Can I have the Help action from Boggy?

0:39:10 Brennan: Sure.

0:39:13 Siobhan: Two eights. An 18.

0:39:16 Murph: 23.

0:39:17 Brennan: I think you hear a little [beeping] on your Gregorian Necktie as the name Ankarna is registered, and you hear from your Arcadian Watch, you hear a little,

0:39:28 Pok: Coming in for Agent Gukgak Junior. This is Agent Gukgak Senior, checking in.

0:39:35 Riz: This is he.

0:39:37 Brennan: You see a little celestial hologram appears over your wristwatch, and you see a beautiful green field, and you see your father Pok looking at you.

0:39:45 Pok: Hey, kiddo. How's it going, bud?

0:39:47 Murph: Riz is clearly super excited, but stays so professional and secret agent.

0:39:52 Riz: Good to see you, Father slash Senior Agent Gukgak. What's your status?

0:39:58 Pok: All good. We're reading your location as Avernus, the first layer of the Nine Hells. Didn't have any mission briefing of you going there, and we just registered an infernal deity on our internal system for the first time in probably, like, a thousand years.

0:40:15 Riz: A thousand years?

0:40:15 Zac: Internal system?

0:40:18 Pok: We keep track of which infernal deities are present.

0:40:23 Brennan: You see he looks around and says,

0:40:24 Pok: By the way, hi, gang. Good to see you, Fig.

0:40:25 Kristen: Hey, Pok.

0:40:25 Adaine: Hi, Mr. Gukgak.

0:40:27 Riz: Good to see you, Dad. Love you.

0:40:28 Pok: Hey, love you, son. Are you guys all safe at Fig's place right now?

0:40:31 Adaine: Yeah. I got a gun.

0:40:35 Pok: [almost a sigh] Yeah. [Murph laughs]

0:40:37 Ally: [mimics Pok's concerned sigh] Yeah.

0:40:39 Pok: All right.

0:40:40 Riz: He doesn't know how to respond to that.

0:40:42 Pok: I mean, I guess I'd be a hypocrite, right?

0:40:44 Adaine: You gave your son a gun.

0:40:44 Pok: My son has a gun.

0:40:45 Riz: Yeah, that's true.

0:40:45 Pok: So I guess, yeah. It's my gun, so, you know, I don't wanna… Double edged sword? Okay.

0:40:50 Riz: Yeah, when you call it an arquebus, it seems less weird.

0:40:54 Brennan: You see he looks and says,

0:40:56 Pok: Any of those neckties reads anything, it gets beamed back up to us here, and we kind of flag, you know, infernal deities. Happens a lot. You know, if people are running around, Asmodeus, that guy's name is everywhere all over the place, so that just gets logged. But we got a ping for a name that hasn't come up in a long, long time.

0:41:16 Murph: Yeah, so I think I disclose to my dad what's going on, the stuff with Ankarna.

0:41:21 Brennan: Okay.

0:41:22 Murph: And us accidentally, kinda, probably summoning them, maybe, and this armor and sorta this situation.

0:41:31 Brennan: Okay.

0:41:31 Pok: Well, listen, gang. We're happy to lend a hand if there's any reconnaissance or intel you're looking for.

0:41:39 Riz: Yeah, we're wondering what led, I guess, to their corruption.

0:41:42 Brennan: You see that he walks over. He starts speaking to, there's a desk in the middle of this beautiful, heavenly field that's being projected in this little hologram. He walks over and begins to piece it together. He walks over to a gnoll woman in a blazer. There's a minotaur working there. They're sorta both speaking to each other. And you see he walks over and says,

0:42:03 Pok: Can we pull up anything on Athenriel vis a vis dead deity?

0:42:08 Brennan: You see that one of them says,

0:42:08 Agent: Obliviati Mori.

0:42:11 Brennan: And he says,

0:42:11 Pok: They discovered the name fair and square. They discovered it archaeologically.

0:42:16 Brennan: They go and look for it, and you see he comes over and says,

0:42:19 Pok: Okay, Athenriel. Not listed as a follower of Ankarna. Athenriel is... [sighs] Athenriel is one of the most ancient elves we have on file here. Soul not located in the upper planes. Maybe somewhere in the lower planes, but he's not in our database. I'm looking right here. He predates the Court of Stars,

0:42:47 Brennan: Which is the fucking government of Fallinel.

0:42:49 Siobhan: Right.

0:42:49 Brennan: So he's from way–

0:42:50 Siobhan: Yeah, just so long ago.

0:42:50 Pok: It says here he was a druid, and built many of the great menhirs and dolmens and standing stones of Fallinel.

0:42:59 Fig: He probably built that thing.

0:43:01 Kristen: And then was just gifted the armor as a thank you for building something for the wedding, probably?

0:43:07 Adaine: Did he have any kids? Is there records of his kids?

0:43:10 Pok: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. He has a family.

0:43:11 Adaine: Do we have a family tree, and does it lead to Gilear?

0:43:14 Pok: Yeah. Well, first of all, I should say, his line leads in a lot of ways. He's so many generations back that his descendants, you know, it spreads out.

0:43:21 Adaine: Sure. It's broad.

0:43:23 Pok: It's broad. However, he has a much smaller number of purely patrilineal descendants.

0:43:29 Adaine: Uh-huh.

0:43:30 Pok: One of which is Gilear Faeth.

0:43:31 Kristen: Wow.

0:43:32 Fig: I knew he was the chosen one.

0:43:35 Riz: He kind of is.

0:43:36 Adaine: Can you give us the names of the other ones? I'd be interested to see if the curse passed down every patrilineal line, or if it just picked one.

0:43:42 Pok: Are you aware of any parameters on the curse that might help us narrow the search or narrow the focus?

0:43:46 Adaine: All we know is that it's something to do with pride, and it's patrilineal, and when the father dies, it's passed on to the son.

0:43:52 Kristen: Yogurt.

0:43:54 Adaine: And there's a lemon yogurt aspect, vibe.

0:43:56 Pok: There's a keyword space. I can put Yogurt in there.

0:43:58 Adaine: Yeah.

0:43:58 Riz: Put yogurt in.

0:43:59 Adaine: Yogurt curse.

0:43:59 Kristen: I'd say citrus yogurt.

0:44:01 Riz: I believe it's only been on the line since Gorthalax got the armor, right? Because once it was put away–

0:44:08 Adaine: Right, yes.

0:44:10 Riz: That's when it started–

0:44:10 Siobhan: It was connected to the armor, which would mean that it was connected to the armor, it would only go down one line.

0:44:17 Brennan: If it was a primogenitive curse, meaning it went to the oldest–

0:44:21 Siobhan: Sure.

0:44:21 Brennan: The oldest child only, Gilear would still fall into it. In terms of being elder sons that are alive at the time that their predecessor passes away.

0:44:31 Riz: Also, we saw Kalina, and she was in sort of a different form. We don't know whether or not we can trust her. She seemed maybe differently motivated. And she said Ragh Barkrock has some part in this for some reason.

0:44:47 Adaine: And then she said, "It's the only name I can say."

0:44:49 Riz: And we're wondering if that's maybe tied into the Spy's Tongue Curse.

0:44:53 Kristen: Has she ever said that name before? Yeah.

0:44:55 Pok: What's your connection between Spy's Tongue Curse and Kalina?

0:44:57 Adaine: Well, that she had the Spy's Tongue Curse with an unknown number of people.

0:45:04 Pok: Okay.

0:45:04 Kristen: In a complicated way that would only allow her–

0:45:07 Adaine: Right.

0:45:07 Kristen: ...to reference Ragh? I don't know why.

0:45:11 Adaine: I don't know how she could be in a conspiracy with literally everybody in the world except for Ragh.

0:45:15 Kristen: And Ragh, I know you would've told us this, but have you entered into any agreements?

0:45:21 Ragh: No, no no no.

0:45:23 Brennan: You see Pok goes,

0:45:25 Pok: Well, Ragh wouldn't be able to tell you if he had. That's number one.

0:45:32 Riz: Oh yeah.

0:45:33 Siobhan: Can I do Detect Magic on Ragh?

0:45:35 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

0:45:35 Siobhan: Great.

0:45:37 Brennan: You don't detect anything, any magical presence on him.

0:45:38 Siobhan: Kinda normal.

0:45:40 Brennan: You see Pok goes,

0:45:40 Pok: In a world with people detecting thoughts and reading minds and all this other stuff like that, you need, you know, people that do dirty work have diviners and oracles to worry about, so you've got to take magical means to kinda protect yourself. Think about the people that Kalina had that curse with as being nodes at the center of a sphere of silence, of obscurity. Lots of things she can't mention, right? So what you end up doing sometimes if you're trying to get around that or work around that is you give somebody something just outside the circle. Think about the boundary around information that can't be shared.

0:46:18 Riz: So Ragh's a clue.

0:46:20 Adaine: So if I couldn't say your name, could I say Riz's name?

0:46:23 Kristen: But they probably would've thought of Riz and put it in the contract, so you have to think even one rung outside of it, so maybe it's the god, Bakur–

0:46:28 Adaine: So it could be Lydia.

0:46:31 Kristen: ...Lydia, Ragh, and they just didn't know about Ragh, or he wasn't born yet when they signed the Spy’s Tongue Curse.

0:46:37 Pok: Were you at a meeting with Kalina where you were able to sit down and really talk it out?

0:46:40 Adaine: Not in any way.

0:46:40 Kristen: We were in a food court.

0:46:42 Riz: And then also a haunted house.

0:46:44 Adaine: Yeah, that was maybe not really a house. It was a mythical sort of briefcase universe house.

0:46:50 Kristen: Yeah.

0:46:50 Pok: So it might have been something where that's the thread on the sweater, and it's the best chance she could give you.

0:46:58 Riz: Okay.

0:46:58 Pok: Is there anything you want me to be running down for you kids while you're doing this?

0:47:04 Riz: Yeah, if you can find out if there's any nature between the armor becoming cursed and the god being corrupted? If there was, I don't know, a previous form of Ankarna or something, and then maybe if there's anything to this idea that maybe Athenriel is Bakur.

0:47:23 Brennan: Pok says,

0:47:23 Pok: All right, I'll jump on that, kiddo, and I'm looking that up… [silence] [strokes his chin]

0:47:30 Adaine: That's a bad face.

0:47:30 Riz: Or a good one?

0:47:32 Zac: He got locked out of his email.

0:47:35 Brennan: He just looks up. You guys are exiting the Bottomless Pit, so you're coming back up to the Goldenrod, and you see Pok looks up from his watch and says,

0:47:43 Pok: I just looked up other… Do you know what a divine domain is, or a divine realm?

0:47:49 Adaine: You mean like the Ethereal Plane and the Astral Plane?

0:47:51 Pok: Yeah, like the Ethereal Plane and the Astral Plane. Gods exist in those spaces, but those spaces belong to the concepts of those planes. The Plane of Fire doesn't belong to every god of fire. Instead, there are divine realms within those places where the gods are sacrosanct. Ankarna is associated with the Nine Hells. I just looked up, some gods will have more than one divine realm if they're incredibly powerful. I looked up, how many divine realms does Ankarna have? Listed, none at the moment, which makes sense, because she's dead.

0:48:25 Adaine: Sure.

0:48:26 Pok: But how many? I know that there's none that are active. Associated with the Nine Hells. There are multiple divine realms, and the file is corrupted. The file doesn't have the information within our database.

0:48:41 Riz: When we saw the stuff about the wedding, we got the sense that Sol was the one who maybe officiated it. Is it possible he tricked them into signing an infernal contract to get them out of the way so that he could be the god of the sun?

0:49:00 Adaine: Oh.

0:49:00 Fig: Hmm.

0:49:02 Brennan: Pok looks around, and he leans in a little bit and goes,

0:49:06 Pok: We do important work here at the Lower Planar Reconnaissance Task Force. We work for various celestial bureaucracies, and we interface a lot with gods. Gods are some of our greatest allies in maintaining the celestial order. But I will also say, as someone that works with the souls of mortals who have passed here like myself, with other celestials, with beings of the upper and lower planes, and with divinities, deities, even incredibly goodhearted ones, you know, they play a different game.

0:49:43 Brennan: And here, you guys kind of think about those contracts about becoming archfey or becoming a fiend or becoming something else.

0:49:48 Pok: So even when they are engaged in a good battle or helping with a good cause, they've always got to keep an eye on what they are, their deityhood, their divine realms. Sol is a very powerful, important figure within the upper planes, but I will say that my experience with deities is, one of the things they least like to do is collaborate with other deities that share their domain.

0:50:24 Riz: Yeah, 'cause it splits the followers and would make them weaker.

0:50:26 Adaine: Right.

0:50:27 Brennan: You see as he walks out, Bill Seacaster turns over, there's a huge buttered ramp and a huge unbuttered ramp.

0:50:33 Fabian: Gorgug, we're not missing anything! All right?

0:50:34 Gorgug: I don't know.

0:50:35 Bill: ♪ Lather up the boy, lather up the boy ♪

0:50:39 Gorgug: Do I wanna go far or not?

0:50:41 Bill: You wanna go far!

0:50:41 Kristen: You got this, Gorgug!

0:50:44 Ally: And I cast Guidance.

0:50:44 Brennan: He shot puts you–

0:50:48 Siobhan: I cast True Strike on Gorgug.

0:50:49 Zac: Am I rolling?

0:50:50 Brennan: I think Bill's rolling. Give me a Dexterity saving throw.

0:50:54 Zac: Okay.

0:50:54 Riz: You're The Ball, dude!

0:50:56 Gorgug: I am not!

0:50:59 Zac: That's a 14. Plus Guidance?

0:50:59 Ally: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could get this up, right?

0:51:04 Zac: Four!

0:51:04 Ally: Yeah! 18!

0:51:05 Brennan: All of you watch Bill take a bunch of steps back. Bill, who's now 14 feet tall, he's got a third massive, muscular arm growing out of his back, grabs Gorgug and says,

0:51:14 Bill: Stepping up, young Bill Seacaster of the Celestine Sea. [Lou mimics a crowd roaring]

0:51:20 Bill: Here we go!

0:51:20 Brennan: Does three huge barrel roll hops and [grunts] discus hurls Gorgug.

0:51:26 Ally: Gorgug! [Zac screaming]

0:51:27 Brennan: Gorgug hits the ramp, disappears into the sky.

0:51:31 Adaine: Oh. Good throw, sir.

0:51:34 Bill: Aboard the ship! After Thistlespring!

0:51:37 Kristen: Okay, okay!

0:51:37 Brennan: Takes off. As you're sailing into the sky after Gorgug, who's cresting into low orbit–

0:51:47 Zac: [scrunching face up and making sound effects as if hurtling through the air at high velocity] My goggles are cracking.

0:51:50 Brennan: ...you see there's a moment where Bill turns over and says,

0:51:51 Bill: Oi, is that Gukgak?

0:51:54 Brennan: And you see Pok turns around and says,

0:51:56 Pok: Captain Seacaster, pleasure to see you.

0:51:58 Brennan: He's like,

0:51:58 Bill: We still having that call at the end of the month? I have a lot of secrets I'd be happy to sell ya.

0:52:04 Brennan: And you see Pok says,

0:52:04 Pok: I think we would absolutely love to do business, Captain Seacaster.

0:52:08 Brennan: Pok goes and says,

0:52:08 Pok: You got everything you need, kiddo?

0:52:10 Riz: Yes. All right, Agent Senior Gukgak.

0:52:13 Emily: Will you ask your dad, though, real quick, is it unsafe if we keep saying this name, Ankarna?

0:52:22 Riz: Yeah, now that the god… Now that we said it the one time, is it okay to just keep saying the name?

0:52:26 Adaine: Yeah, is it a Night Yorb situation?

0:52:28 Brennan: You see that Pok says,

0:52:28 Pok: You're probably okay. If any of you start to believe in or worship the deity, that's a very different story.

0:52:36 Adaine: Not my vibe at all.

0:52:37 Pok: But saying the name should be fine.

0:52:39 Fig: Okay, so that's a bad thing.

0:52:39 Adaine: Kristen, you can't. You can't switch gods again.

0:52:43 Kristen: Look, it's a new year. [Siobhan and Brennan laugh]

0:52:46 Kristen: No no no, I'm deeply–

0:52:46 Fig: I was thinking, because I've got a track list here for my sophomore album and I could name one of them Ankarna, but I don't know if that's bad or if it's helpful.

0:52:57 Riz: What if you were to make Cassandra one of them?

0:52:59 Fig: I had Cassandra, and then I was like, maybe I'll switch it to-

0:53:03 Riz: Would it be possible to un-corrupt someone, through song?

0:53:12 Adaine: Is it possible to rock so hard–

0:53:14 Murph: Riz puts on Wretchrot's album.

0:53:16 Speaker: ♪ Baby Baby Baby ♪

0:53:18 Adaine: [dancing] I just love it. It really just hits me.

0:53:20 Riz: Not this one. It's one of the skits, Dad. It's really funny. [fist knocking]

0:53:24 Speaker: Baby Baby, Baby Baby.

0:53:26 Kristen: Oh, it's Baby Baby and Baby.

0:53:28 Adaine: They released that album fast.

0:53:31 Brennan: Your dad signs off after saying goodbye, and you see Captain Seacaster looks and says,

0:53:35 Bill: Ah, splendid, the lot of ya. Now, ooh!

0:53:39 Brennan: You see he takes the helm, moves over, and comes right under Gorgug, who lands on the– [Zac screams] [body thuds]

0:53:47 Gorgug: What did we prove?

0:53:47 Bill: Ah, fuck it.

0:53:52 Gorgug: I was gonna throw you!

0:53:52 Bill: Well, you know, you could try.

0:53:56 Gorgug: I don't want to anymore.

0:53:58 Bill: Well, you all have guns. You've all come to Hell. [guns firing] [Siobhan making gun noises]

0:54:03 Bill: That's right! [mimics gunfire] Do you have a way of getting back, young Miss Abernant?

0:54:07 Adaine: Yeah, it involves me taking a four hour nap. Is that okay? Do you have a place where I can just-

0:54:11 Bill: Of course.

0:54:11 Adaine: Or, I mean, if you can, by way of giving me a little 7th level spell slot. I don't know if you have a way of doing that.

0:54:17 Kristen: Oh, I have Plane Shift too.

0:54:17 Adaine: Oh, you do?

0:54:19 Kristen: Yeah, let's go.

0:54:19 Fabian: Wait! Bye, Dad!

0:54:21 Fig: Wait! I need to stay!

0:54:21 Bill: My darling boy!

0:54:26 Emily: Wait, do you not actually have it?

0:54:28 Ally: I do have Plane Shift, I do, but I wasn't saying, I wasn't actually, we can tie up our loose ends. We can say bye to Baby Baby and Baby.

0:54:35 Brennan: But is it funnier that the loose ends don't get tied up?

0:54:37 Ally: Yeah, we're gone. We're shooting out.

0:54:40 Fabian: What the fuck, Kristen?

0:54:40 Bill: My darling boy!

0:54:42 Ally: I grab my staff and go, [standing up as if flying off]

0:54:42 Kristen: It's too late!

0:54:45 Zac: Grabbing your ankles.

0:54:45 Brennan: And all of you vanish.

0:54:49 Siobhan: Back to Fallinel? Is that where we're going?

0:54:50 Brennan: Yes, I think you all appear in the room. Parents leap on you. People are crying and hugging as you are once again back in Kei Lumennura, and you see Hallariel.

0:55:01 Hallariel: Fabian, darling!

0:55:01 Fabian: Oh, Mama.

0:55:04 Brennan: And Wilma.

0:55:04 Wilma: Oh, Gorgug!

0:55:05 Brennan: You see Gilear is looking and says,

0:55:05 Gilear: Figueroth.

0:55:09 Fig: Does your life suck again?

0:55:09 Gilear: What?

0:55:12 Fig: We broke the curse, so your life can suck again.

0:55:15 Ally: I hand him a full yogurt with spoon in it.

0:55:19 Kristen: Eat it.

0:55:20 Gorgug: Just as you would normally eat it.

0:55:21 Kristen: Just eat it. Adaine nods encouraging.

0:55:27 Gilear: [pokes himself in the eye with the spoon] G'ow!

0:55:29 Kristen: Oh wow.

0:55:29 Fig: It's different!

0:55:30 Kristen: Oh wow. Oh wow!

0:55:30 Fabian: New flavor!

0:55:31 Riz: I don't recall it being that–

0:55:33 Gorgug: Wow, lemon yogurt right in the eye.

0:55:36 Gilear: It's burning so badly. I can't believe I've missed my mouth.

0:55:43 Riz: By, like, a lot.

0:55:44 Gilear: Let me go in the medicine cabinet.

0:55:45 Gorgug: Here's a gold piece. Catch!

0:55:45 Gilear: Gah! I'm blind! Gold and lemon.

0:55:52 Siobhan: I pull out a seltzer from Hell and just- [can hissing] [Gilear screams]

0:55:56 Adaine: That should wash it out.

0:55:58 Brennan: You see as his face scalds, he looks and says,

0:56:01 Gilear: I am happy.

0:56:01 Zac: Aw!

0:56:03 Brennan: He goes and hugs Fig.

0:56:05 Gilear: My life makes sense once more. It is too many blessings to ask for, to have good luck in addition to the most wonderful daughter in the world.

0:56:16 Fig: Thanks, Dad.

0:56:17 Emily: Can I look at Hallariel and see if this means she's gonna leave him?

0:56:22 Brennan: You see Hallariel looks and says,

0:56:25 Hallariel: I was into him before he was un-cursed, so.

0:56:28 Fig: Good taste.

0:56:28 Emily: Okay, I hug my dad.

0:56:31 Brennan: You see that–

0:56:32 Emily: And maybe we get a... [laughs]

0:56:35 Lou: Stop. Fucking stop.

0:56:39 Ally: Maybe we can expect a little bundle of joy on the way!

0:56:41 Brennan: You see Gilear and Hallariel hold hands and say,

0:56:43 Gilear: We have some exciting news.

0:56:44 Fabian: No you don't. No you fucking don't. Plane Shift me back. Somebody, chronomancy! Which one of you knows chronomancy?

0:56:51 Gorgug: I could punch you in the head.

0:56:52 Fabian: Yeah, do that! [fist thuds]

0:56:55 Fabian: [grunting] What time is it?

0:56:56 Brennan: Gilear goes,

0:56:56 Gilear: Yes. Badly burnt in and around the face and blind in both eyes from a gold piece and lemon. I can say this. A curse is a state of mind. Though my luck may have been returned to its former state, you can never get me down, because I love my life, and I love my daughter, and I love this woman, Hallariel, and I love–

0:57:24 Kristen: Your son? [pointing at Fabian]

0:57:29 Fabian: You can leave me out. It's fine.

0:57:31 Fig: [whispers] Say Fabian!

0:57:34 Gilear: My son. My darling stepson, Fabian.

0:57:40 Fabian: Oh god!

0:57:42 Siobhan: I punch Fabian in the face.

0:57:42 Fabian: [grunts] Thank you.

0:57:45 Emily: I captured this all on the Yak Bak. [Brennan and Ally laugh]

0:57:49 Fig: This is gonna be one of my skits.

0:57:52 Fabian: That's it? That's all–

0:57:53 Riz: The voicemail that you open the song with? That's so sick!

0:57:55 Gorgug: I'm just wondering how we get it off the Yak Bak. I could work on some sort of technology for that.

0:58:01 Fig: Yeah.

0:58:01 Kristen: And I just want to say–

0:58:03 Gorgug: There's not, like, a USB port on it?

0:58:06 Fabian: Wait, that's it, Gilear, right? No more news? Brennan builds an expectant pause; Gilear looks at Hallariel meaningfully.

0:58:09 Gilear: Nope.

0:58:11 Fabian: Oh, thank god.

0:58:12 Adaine: Because it hasn't been three months yet?

0:58:13 Ally: Sometimes people don't wanna announce too early.

0:58:15 Brennan: You see Hallariel goes,

0:58:15 Hallariel: Shh.

0:58:19 Adaine: Elven Oracle.

0:58:21 Fabian: No, don't fucking do that. Change it! Use a Divination roll and fucking change it!

0:58:27 Brennan: Use a Divination roll on insemination? Give me an insemination check.

0:58:29 Lou: Yeah, exactly.

0:58:29 Ally: Oh my god.

0:58:31 Lou: I'm gonna sneak into his room tonight and give him a vasectomy, straight-up. [cast laughs]

0:58:37 Brennan: Fandrangor!

0:58:43 Murph: So exact.

0:58:43 Brennan: You see Ragh runs over and is hugging his mom, Lydia, who's catching her breath. Lydia looks up and says,

0:58:48 Lydia: What the fuck happened?

0:58:52 Riz: Are you okay?

0:58:52 Kristen: Are you okay?

0:58:54 Lydia: I'm okay now, but I… You know, I mean, Bakur's not stupid. There's only so many times you rattle the bars before you give up. He made one of the hardest attacks to get out that he has in a long, long time, and I–

0:59:11 Kristen: Did it feel like he was stronger?

0:59:14 Lydia: Yeah, yeah. It was hard.

0:59:16 Fig: Have you ever spoken to him and used the name Athenriel? I guess the answer is that you definitely haven't, 'cause why would you?

0:59:24 Riz: But you could try.

0:59:26 Fig: Have you considered trying?

0:59:28 Lydia: You know what's crazy?

0:59:28 Fig: What?

0:59:30 Lydia: I had a list of a hundred made up names that I went and said to him one time when I was still talking to him, and he said, “What's this about?” And I said, ”Bafflemore. Kraz.” And I just sort of went through these names.

0:59:47 Gorgug: That is pretty crazy.

0:59:47 Lydia: Yeah.

0:59:49 Adaine: And Athenriel wasn't one of them?

0:59:50 Lydia: Athenriel was not one of them, so that's the problem.

0:59:53 Riz: Yeah, 100 out of all the possible names, it sounds like a lot, but it's not that many, 'cause there's so many names.

0:59:59 Lydia: I could've spent more time on it.

1:00:01 Kristen: We were wondering if you would be down for us to try to do that–

1:00:05 Adaine: Yeah, we have, look, long story short, I got a lot of power that I can spend on one thing, and it's kinda burning a hole in my pocket.

1:00:15 Kristen: Yeah, we were talking about maybe doing that ritual with you and trying to speak to Bakur while keeping you safe.

1:00:21 Adaine: Right.

1:00:21 Riz: Yeah.

1:00:23 Gorgug: Or yeah, can we even remove this curse?

1:00:25 Adaine: Maybe even removing the curse, removing the–

1:00:27 Lydia: Well listen, you had a wild time.

1:00:29 Kristen: Yeah.

1:00:29 Lydia: Why don’t you grab some Zs? Tomorrow's the Moonar Yulenear, and then you can–

1:00:37 Kristen: Something that's happening on the Moonar-

1:00:38 Riz: Did Tracker make it out?

1:00:40 Brennan: She looks and says,

1:00:40 Lydia: I was waiting for you to come back.

1:00:44 Brennan: You see she gets on a crystal and calls and puts it on speaker, and you see Tracker says,

1:00:48 Tracker: Hello? Are you guys there?

1:00:51 Kristen: Yes. Hi, Tracker!

1:00:51 Riz: Yes, we're here.

1:00:53 Tracker: Hi.

1:00:54 Adaine: We are so sorry.

1:00:54 Tracker: What? Who's this talking?

1:00:56 Gorgug: This is Kristen.

1:00:56 Tracker: What?

1:00:59 Gorgug: Oh, wait.

1:00:59 Riz: Wanda Childa. Keep going.

1:01:01 Adaine: Listen, this is a bad time for bits. You thought we were actually dead.

1:01:05 Tracker: I did. Okay, but what the fuck was that?

1:01:08 Brennan: You see she says,

1:01:08 Tracker: Listen.

1:01:09 Brennan: You see a sort of twilight thing opens. She appears in Kei Lumennura.

1:01:11 Ally: Okay.

1:01:13 Brennan: I think she comes with Nara and one or two other people from Wolfsong, just looks around. You see Telemaine says,

1:01:19 Telemaine: Welcome, Tracker of Solace, to Kei Lumennura. You have made it be snowy. Strange.

1:01:28 Brennan: And he floats out of the room.

1:01:29 Kristen: Oh, that was–

1:01:29 Emily: Floats?

1:01:30 Adaine: So he can say Tracker fine.

1:01:30 Emily: He floats?

1:01:33 Gorgug: I guess–

1:01:33 Murph: He's levitating.

1:01:34 Gorgug: ...now they live in the same continent.

1:01:36 Emily: Is the Moonar Luneyear-

1:01:36 Gorgug: Put in the work.

1:01:38 Emily: Is that the shortest day of the year?

1:01:40 Brennan: Yes.

1:01:42 Emily: That's interesting.

1:01:43 Zac: What does that mean?

1:01:44 Siobhan: You think that this is the time when the sun has the least power.

1:01:46 Emily: Yeah.

1:01:48 Riz: Tracker, was anyone else hurt or anything, or was it just really a concentrated attack on that area?

1:01:55 Tracker: No one else was hurt. We got Zayn back to Kei Lumennura, so Zayn's there. The seven of you all vanished into the briefcase, and Aelwyn got the hell out of there, but once we got out of there, we saw the area that had been digging and saw that sort of strange rune that I didn't really recognize. Galicaea's energy threw me out of the circle because there was something there that she thought was dangerous.

1:02:20 Kristen: Yes.

1:02:20 Fig: Yeah.

1:02:21 Tracker: And it had to do with that armor.

1:02:23 Fig: Yeah.

1:02:23 Tracker: Okay.

1:02:24 Kristen: We think that Cassandra, Galicaea's sister, was married to someone named Ankarna. We think that deity has been corrupted, and is trying to take Cassandra back into her corrupted Nightmare King form and is trying to come back. And we think that Ankarna's right hand person is who's stuck in Lydia's gem.

1:02:54 Tracker: Okay, so yeah, you said the name of a god that had been since forgotten.

1:02:58 Adaine: I said, I'm so sorry. I just got really, just into the moment of discovery.

1:03:04 Tracker: If you're near something written in–

1:03:05 Fig: I thought it was the right thing to do.

1:03:06 Adaine: Yeah, thank you.

1:03:06 Fig: Yeah.

1:03:09 Tracker: If you're near something written in an ancient stone and you've just translated it, you kinda have to whisper it.

1:03:15 Adaine: I just was so excited.

1:03:16 Gorgug: I probably wouldn't have done it.

1:03:17 Brennan: Yeah, you kinda have to whisper.

1:03:17 Fig: I definitely would've done it.

1:03:18 Fabian: I would've had the self-restraint.

1:03:20 Adaine: I mean, sometimes–

1:03:20 Fabian: But that's just me.

1:03:22 Adaine: That's good to know. That's where I sit on the spectrum.

1:03:24 Gorgug: That's what I'm saying. I probably wouldn't have done it.

1:03:25 Fabian: Oh yes, see? Me and Gorgug, same type.

1:03:27 Adaine: Huh, yeah, probably 'cause you can't read other languages.

1:03:30 Fabian: Oh! Okay, Adaine.

1:03:31 Adaine: I'm just, like, really good at languages, so you probably couldn't even read it.

1:03:33 Brennan: Gorthalax says,

1:03:34 Gorthalax: This is all about the Armor of Pride.

1:03:37 Fig: Yeah, we're kind of thinking that it might have at one point been a good gift rather than a curse, a blessing rather than a curse.

1:03:45 Kristen: We think it was given to the person who made those runes a long time ago, pre-everything.

1:03:51 Fig: Pre-Sol.

1:03:53 Adaine: Gilear's ancestor.

1:03:54 Brennan: You see he looks at all of you and says,

1:03:56 Gorthalax: You all said the name. That means I'm not covered by Obliviati Mori right now. [Adaine gasps]

1:04:03 Riz: Right.

1:04:04 Kristen: Tell us what you know!

1:04:04 Fig: Oh my god.

1:04:06 Gorthalax: Okay, the one thing I know about Ankarna was that she was like me. So she didn't start infernal. She fell.

1:04:13 Riz: Okay.

1:04:13 Adaine: Oh, okay.

1:04:15 Gorthalax: But I don't know what her deal was before she fell. I only met her when she was already infernal. What I remember is that in addition to rage and fire, she was specifically a goddess of conquest. Her right hand was Bakur. I knew Bakur for a little bit, but he was not like me. He didn't used to be a celestial. I didn't know him before we fell. So either he was turned into a pit fiend from something else or was created from scratch or something like that. But there's a loop with deities, right? Deities give direction, purpose, and all this stuff to their followers, right? But you saw it with Cassandra. Her sister's religion was taking off and hers diminished until she faded away and became something other than a deity, became the Nightmare King. Oh, I remember she warped one of her artifacts. She used to have a set of scales that were changed into, I think, some kind of warhammer or something like that.

1:05:16 Fig: She took justice and turned it into war? Was conquest her corrupted state? Is it possible that she–

1:05:22 Gorthalax: That's the crazy thing, kid. She took artifacts from other pit fiends about conquest and studied about that domain. You know how weird it is for a god to study up on something? And there was a conversation I remember having with Bakur, back when he was running around in Avernus. He said something along the lines of, like, she is a mistress to her people. And I remember that being a weird thing at the time. Look, I'll just say it. Gods cast themselves in the roles of the people leading the orchestra. If your musicians all leave and you stop being a conductor and the musicians all tell you what song they wanna play, what would you do?

1:06:15 Kristen: So she was taking requests.

1:06:17 Gorthalax: Like a DJ taking requests. That's the impression I got from talking to Bakur.

1:06:21 Adaine: So maybe the giants or whoever was worshiping her went from sort of a more pastoral life to–

1:06:30 Kristen: Or her chosen one started to morph her a little bit.

1:06:35 Adaine: Yeah.

1:06:36 Kristen: Telling her what the people wanted. Did she talk about being married?

1:06:40 Gorthalax: I remember one of the gods of the lower levels one time made a pass, and she sort of sneered at him, and he said, "Oh what, you're still married?" And she almost destroyed him. Flew into a rage and almost killed him. She seemed really touchy about her relationship status.

1:06:58 Fig: Can I ask you, I don't know if you've ever talked about this before, and if we have, sorry, and if it's a sensitive subject, sorry. How did you fall?

1:07:12 Gorthalax: [sighs heavily] So, it's different with fiends and celestials because we're bureaucrats. You know, we're functionaries. We're here to do a job. And a god rises in popularity, they fall, the new god comes in, but it's the same celestials out here making people wrathful or making people hopeful or whatever it is you're gonna kinda do. I ended up falling because, you know, I ended up becoming a devil of gluttony because the virtue that I used to manifest, which was temperance, I just sort of stopped believing that that was necessarily a good thing. If gods have their times where they rise and fall, which is almost like the face. If the paint job on the car is the gods, and the engine is all the celestials that are working for them underneath, sometimes it's like the paint job needs to be redone, and a god rises or falls. And then sometimes it's like something in the engine breaks. You go, this thing that I thought was a virtue for a thousand thousand years, I kinda wake up one day and go, this is fuckin' bullshit.

1:08:17 Brennan: Sklonda says,

1:08:17 Sklonda: Let's go ahead and get you guys rested up. I can see that you're partially injured. Let's get you—

1:08:21 Adaine: Yes.

1:08:22 Brennan: You see that you guys have a big night in Kei Lumennura where you're all tucked in, and you guys, I think, see snow falling outside. You see even before she heads back, Tracker comes over to you, Kristen, and just goes,

1:08:32 Tracker: Hey, if you need any help figuring all this stuff out, let me know.

1:08:37 Kristen: I definitely would. I would love it if maybe next time you talked to Galicaea, if you could find out what Ankarna's original domain was.

1:08:46 Tracker: I'll talk to her. Now that I have her name, Galicaea will be able to talk to me.

1:08:51 Kristen: Find out anything you can, please. Yeah.

1:08:53 Tracker: Heads up. It's nice that we've broken through Obliviati Mori. The name being known again is one step closer to followers and belief.

1:09:03 Kristen: Sure.

1:09:06 Tracker: So I'm just saying, be careful.

1:09:09 Kristen: 'Cause none of us are about to believe in it, but if we keep spreading it, someone's gonna. Especially if it's conquest! Fuck!

1:09:15 Adaine: Don't tell Craig about it. Don't tell. He is so impressionable.

1:09:19 Kristen: Who knows right now? Just us?

1:09:21 Fig: But I feel like Cassandra is the balance to this. So if we can just keep–

1:09:27 Kristen: Definitely.

1:09:29 Fig: ...kind of pumping Cassandra out there.

1:09:31 Kristen: Well, I think if she had an original domain that seems… That isn't conquest, and she was only kind of pressured into it for follower count.

1:09:41 Ally: And then I look at Tracker, and then I look back.

1:09:44 Kristen: Then I think, you know, maybe it would benefit everyone, including her, to go to her original, true domain. But until then…

1:09:53 Ally: Is Neandriel with us?

1:09:55 Brennan: Yeah.

1:09:55 Ally: Oh, okay.

1:09:57 Nara: Yes?

1:10:00 Kristen: [long pause] I didn't say anything. You said something.

1:10:03 Nara: Okay, everyone have a lovely night.

1:10:06 Ally: I grab Tracker.

1:10:06 Brennan: You grab Tracker.

1:10:08 Emily: I turn into Kristen.

1:10:08 Siobhan: I grab Naradriel and say,

1:10:11 Adaine: I would love to ask you some questions about the Court of Stars, 'cause you probably grew up so close to there. And I just pull her away.

1:10:16 Brennan: You see she looks at you and says,

1:10:18 Nara: Oh, my daddy's on the Court of Stars.

1:10:21 Adaine: Is he?

1:10:23 Nara: Would you like to go and speak with him?

1:10:24 Adaine: Yes, I would love that.

1:10:25 Brennan: You see Aelwyn says,

1:10:25 Aelwyn: Do you want me to come?

1:10:27 Adaine: Aren't you wanted?

1:10:29 Aelwyn: I am wanted. Shit, wait a minute.

1:10:32 Brennan: You see she does something and she says,

1:10:35 Adaine: I'm... Roma Childa.

1:10:40 Fig: I swear to fucking god, you keep my bit out of your mouth!

1:10:45 Aelwyn: What the hell? I thought we were bonding! Fine!

1:10:49 Fig: No, I'm kidding.

1:10:54 Brennan: You see Aelwyn comes with you in disguise.

1:10:57 Siobhan: Great.

1:10:58 Brennan: So big, long rest. Aelwyn, Nara, and Adaine go quickly to the Court of Stars before you have that rest.

1:11:04 Siobhan: Great.

1:11:06 Brennan: In the Court of Stars, you see beautiful red and gold light. You see that on top of a massive glass flower that is filled with starlight that swims like liquid throughout this glass flower, in an ancient, vaulted dome of pure indigo-purple energy, three immortal elven dancers, translucent and made of light, dance with only long sheets flowing around them diaphanously, and you see–

1:11:42 Adaine: Are you paid? [elf singing angelically]

1:11:47 Adaine: Okay, I'm gonna take that as a no.

1:11:49 Brennan: You walk through and you see that shrouded in deep fabric, there are eight figures, perfectly still, holding swords with the points down, hands connected to the pommel, long blond hair that trails all the way to just barely touch the top of their elven boots.

1:12:11 Adaine: So do you just stand here like this, or did you hear that we were coming and get in place? You just stand here like this.

1:12:21 Elf: The Court of Stars has stood in a circle of eight for a thousand thousand years.

1:12:27 Adaine: Wow, that's… That's long.

1:12:31 Elf: We, immortal, monitor the comings and goings of the elven folk here on the isle of Fallinel, deliberating on matters of elvendom, standing perfectly erect, never sitting, never walking.

1:12:52 Adaine: I'm not gonna say it.

1:12:54 Elf: You may ask. I know a question has crossed your mind.

1:12:57 Adaine: No, I–

1:12:57 Elf: Ask your question.

1:12:58 Adaine: It feels inappropriate. Erect? No, I'm not gonna… You don't need to...

1:13:03 Elf: A boner has not come to the Court of Stars in an age of dragons.

1:13:09 Adaine: Wow, that's sad. Or, you know, well, whatever floats your boat, man. Look. I don't really have any other way to say this except, like, I'm on strike, so do with that what you will. I just thought I would come and say it in person. I can't do this job. I don't want it. I'm busy.

1:13:35 Brennan: Nara looks over at you. Go ahead and give me a Persuasion check, and Aelwyn will give you the Help action here.

1:13:44 Siobhan: Hmm. Well, actually… Hang on, I get disadvantage on Persuasion because of my… So I'll reroll.

1:13:53 Brennan: Yeah, roll straight.

1:13:55 Siobhan: And I actually rolled much better that time.

1:13:57 Brennan: Hey!

1:13:57 Siobhan: Which feels like cheating.

1:13:59 Brennan: It's good.

1:13:59 Siobhan: I got a 19.

1:14:01 Brennan: They look at you, completely neutral, and you see that Nara is very moved by what you have said. She looks and says,

1:14:10 Nara: Daddy, Adaine is an adventurer. She has come here from the land of Solace. They are solving a mystery, and they are helping the world, and I think that it would be wise for us to see that her duties as Elven Oracle do not distract from matters that threaten all of elvendom.

1:14:34 Adaine: Yeah, it's just like, you know, I don't have any money, and I don't have access to my money 'cause my mum is just being chased around the woods by a van with hands.

1:14:48 Elf: A what?

1:14:49 Adaine: Honestly, it's a fair question. It's a van with hands instead of wheels.

1:14:53 Elf: Instead of wheels? That was not what I was picturing.

1:14:56 Adaine: Yeah, it's instead of wheels, and it just crawls around on its… Honestly, it's pretty slow, 'cause it doesn't have any elbows, it's just the hand.

1:15:05 Elf: This is why we never leave this room. The horrors of the world outside.

1:15:08 Adaine: Right, but don't you think that leaving this room would maybe make you a little bit more relatable, understand how the world outside works?

1:15:16 Elf: If I want to know something relatable, I will ask the Elven Oracle to explain some relatable things.

1:15:22 Adaine: So, essentially what you want from me is to be a youth translator.

1:15:28 Elf: If this youth will–

1:15:29 Adaine: Nobody's saying on fleek anymore. Does that help?

1:15:33 Elf: So to describe the state of my eyebrows, you would say?

1:15:40 Adaine: I don't think there's a new word for the state of anybody's-

1:15:43 Elf: So we have lost fleek.

1:15:46 Adaine: I mean, I guess you could-

1:15:46 Elf: And there is no heir.

1:15:48 Adaine: I guess you could use it in an ironic, sort of stupid, your eyes look on fleek, like your eyebrows look like they're from five years ago.

1:15:58 Elf: A great–

1:15:58 Adaine: Like, on fleek! In like a, you're making fun of an old person using young person language.

1:16:04 Elf: A great darkness has befallen the realm at the loss of fleek.

1:16:08 Adaine: Right, so anyway, I just kinda don't… I just don't see a way of me doing the job, 'cause I'm working at this ice cream place, I've got school.

1:16:19 Elf: So you have declared war on the Council of Stars.

1:16:23 Adaine: No, that's… What? Is that what you heard?

1:16:29 Brennan: You see that–

1:16:29 Adaine: I said I'm busy. I have a job at an ice cream place.

1:16:32 Brennan: Nara turns to you and says,

1:16:34 Nara: Are you saying you don't want to be oracle, or just that you can't be oracle?

1:16:39 Adaine: Well, it's just like, people keep on showing up at my job and not buying any ice cream and asking me about, like, answers that I honestly don't have the answer to. Surely elves should know how the Elven Oracle–

1:16:51 Elf: If we were to destroy your job, would that–

1:16:53 Adaine: No. No, sorry.

1:16:58 Elf: For what purpose have you acquired this job?

1:17:02 Adaine: Well, I have to buy For school.

1:17:07 Brennan: You see Nara goes,

1:17:08 Nara: Daddy, we have 10 barrels of diamonds.

1:17:12 Brennan: You see he says,

1:17:12 Elf: We shall give you 10 barrels of diamonds, and you shall be Elven Oracle once more.

1:17:17 Adaine: Okay, well, I mean, there's also… Look, there's a lot of, like, troglodyte balls, and a bunch of eggs and other things. But it's also just like, should I get paid? Don't you get paid?

1:17:34 Elf: Why would we be paid?

1:17:36 Adaine: For doing the job that you do. It's a voluntary position to just stand here for a thousand upon a thousand years?

1:17:43 Elf: We have all we need and shall never die. Why would we be paid?

1:17:48 Adaine: To eat?

1:17:50 Elf: Hmm.

1:17:50 Adaine: How do you eat?

1:17:52 Elf: People bring stuff.

1:17:54 Adaine: Oh, okay. Well, if people could bring stuff to me that meant that I didn't have any needs or wants, then I guess I would keep on being Elven Oracle.

1:18:04 Elf: The Council shall confer.

1:18:08 Brennan: You hear wind, chimes. Hair blows, cloaks flutter.

1:18:12 Elf: In one month's time shall a council of seven elven lawyers be sent.

1:18:19 Adaine: For me? To who?

1:18:23 Elf: You have engaged in this foreign law business. You will acquire an attorney, and we shall negotiate a contract for your labor.

1:18:31 Adaine: You're telling me that I need to get a lawyer when I have a job at an ice cream shop?

1:18:38 Elf: Or, if you wish, you may engage in a competitive dance with one of the immortal elven dancers outside.

1:18:47 Adaine: May I nominate a champion?

1:18:52 Elf: If you wish to create your contract in a dance competition with one of the immortal elven dancers outside, you are welcome to do so.

1:18:58 Adaine: Great, I'll do that.

1:18:58 Elf: Wonderful.

1:19:00 Adaine: As long as I have a champion to do it. I don't wanna dance, but I know somebody who's really good at it.

1:19:04 Elf: Champion accepted.

1:19:04 Adaine: Great, great.

1:19:04 Siobhan: I text Fabian.

1:19:07 Elf: We shall send the dancer to you in one month's time.

1:19:08 Adaine: [texting Fabian] You wanna get in a dance competition, like a "Step It Up 2: The Streets" type situation?

1:19:11 Lou: [hands up in the same position they were when he previously mentioned giving Gilear a vasectomy with his sword] Fabian's quietly in Hallariel and Gilear's room. ?: Beep beep!

1:19:15 Fabian: Fucking shit! Shit! Shit! [hyperventilating]

1:19:20 Hallariel: Fabian?

1:19:20 Fabian: Never mind!

1:19:23 Fabian: [texting Adaine] "Step Up 2: The Streets"? I mean, sure.

1:19:27 Brennan: The next morning, you all awaken. Lydia addresses you and says,

1:19:33 Lydia: All right, if you got it covered, let's go for it.

1:19:38 Murph: All right.

1:19:39 Ally: All right, what do we wanna ask?

1:19:40 Siobhan: What do we wanna do? We wanna take the gem out of her chest, and then seal it using the power from the curse?

1:19:46 Murph: Could we talk to Bakur with, like, use the power to channel it and then-

1:19:52 Siobhan: I have Contact Other Plane. Can I use that to talk to Bakur?

1:19:58 Brennan: Yeah, if you wanna use Contact Other Plane, you can just set up something to get a viewing screen for all of you into the gem.

1:20:05 Murph: I think that's the safest way to do it.

1:20:06 Siobhan: With this spell, we get five questions that are like yes/no type questions.

1:20:12 Brennan: You see inside a gem surrounded by darkness.

1:20:17 Ally: I try to look as strong as possible.

1:20:18 Siobhan: I do technically have to roll a DC 15 Intelligence check or go insane.

1:20:21 Ally: I give you Guidance. Emily & Lou: Bardic Inspiration.

1:20:22 Siobhan: Great.

1:20:24 Brennan: Here we go. Siobhan rolls and Ally turns away, eyes wide, at the result.

1:20:27 Emily: Two Bardics!

1:20:27 Siobhan: I'll use my Portent.

1:20:29 Lou: I can cast Enhance Ability.

1:20:29 Zac: I can do Flash of Genius.

1:20:32 Siobhan: I'll use my lower Portent, so it's a 15 exactly.

1:20:36 Brennan: Okay, you manage to contact within the gem. The eye on the hilt of your sword, both of your eyes in real life glow white, and you look in, and you see inside the gem, a roiling pit fiend. Looks similar to Gorthalax, but you see tall, tall, tall, spiny.

1:20:46 Bakur: [heavy breathing]

1:20:56 Fabian: 'Sup?

1:20:56 Kristen: 'Sup!

1:20:58 Adaine: Don't ask him!

1:20:58 Riz: That's too many questions!

1:20:59 Adaine: That's two!

1:20:59 Riz: Stop!

1:21:00 Gorgug: No, no, no, no, no!

1:21:00 Bakur: That is three of your five–

1:21:02 Murph: No, no, that was only two! It was only two!

1:21:04 Kristen: Only two!

1:21:05 Murph: It was two! They said it twice!

1:21:06 Kristen: Was that three?

1:21:06 Fig: We're only allowed to ask– Gorgug/Adaine/Riz: No no no no no! Stop, stop, stop, stop! [players shouting chaotically]

1:21:12 Riz: Okay, now that's three!

1:21:12 Fabian: Well, they–

1:21:14 Riz: Everyone stop! Everyone stop talking except for Adaine! And maybe me!

1:21:19 Fabian: Oh please, The Ball.

1:21:20 Adaine: Were you Athenriel?

1:21:26 Bakur: This soul once belonged to the being of the world of Spyre known as Athenriel.

1:21:37 Fig: Ask what Ankara was before she was conquest.

1:21:40 Riz: Yeah, that's number one, I think. Just in case we only have two questions.

1:21:45 Emily: 'Sup?

1:21:47 Adaine: What goddess–

1:21:47 Zac: 'Sup, period.

1:21:49 Adaine: ...was Ankarna of before she became the goddess of conquest?

1:21:54 Brennan: Badly burning his face, tears of acid pour out of his body and leave deep, bloody rivulets down the side of his cheek.

1:22:07 Ally: Is he hearing her name for the first time in a long time?

1:22:14 Bakur: A great golden dawn over mountains. A beautiful chariot pulling the sun. She was tall and glorious, goddess of giants. Her sister was the light of her life, a goddess of sorrow and of winter, and their dance throughout the seasons, the bitter and quiet hope of winter and the loud and joyful blaring of trumpets in the golden days of summer. Hers was the domain of the coming of long days of plenty. Hers was the coming of the light of the sun, of clarity, discernment, judgment, justice. A goddess, she was, of righteousness, and of the clarity and conviction to act with all the burning fury of the sun, that those who would wrong her or her sister would not be allowed to let their wickedness spread.

1:23:31 Riz: Maybe we ask, was Sol the one who–

1:23:36 Adaine: Was Sol involved in her corruption?

1:23:39 Bakur: When you say Sol, do you mean the god, or his mortal instruments?

1:23:48 Brennan: I'm going to need you to make a Charisma saving throw.

1:23:50 Emily: You still have two Bardics. [ominous music throughout]

1:24:00 Zac: What'd you get? What'd you get?

1:24:03 Siobhan: 14.

1:24:04 Zac: Flash of Genius, give you three.

1:24:05 Siobhan: What is Flash of Genius?

1:24:05 Zac: Adds three to it.

1:24:07 Siobhan: 17.

1:24:09 Brennan: 17 is the saving throw. [players sighing in relief]

1:24:12 Murph: Nice one, Gorgug!

1:24:13 Brennan: You feel yourself move in this moment, and you can see the thing Lydia warned you about, of the, "I can't talk to him," right? You see he begins to say,

1:24:22 Bakur: Who wields who? The sword wields its wielder as the wielder wields the sword. Do you not understand?

1:24:31 Brennan: You see that your sword begins glowing with the curse, and you can see Lydia goes,

1:24:36 Lydia: Kids, I'm not feeling really good.

1:24:38 Siobhan: Okay, I close it down.

1:24:39 Brennan: She grabs the arms of her wheelchair.

1:24:42 Lydia: [snarling] [roaring furiously]

1:24:46 Brennan: And you see that she pounds the table in front of her. Cracks run through the table. Telemaine says,

1:24:51 Telemaine: [concerned monotone] My table!

1:24:52 Brennan: You see that she goes... [Lydia growling]

1:24:55 Brennan: I'm gonna roll for her in front of the board.

1:24:57 Siobhan: Can I hand her Boggy to calm her down?

1:24:58 Lou: Bardic Inspiration.

1:24:58 Brennan: Hell, yeah. She's rolling a Charisma saving throw. That's a 10. Your Bardic's a d8?

1:25:04 Lou: d8.

1:25:06 Emily: Also a Bardic from me.

1:25:06 Brennan: Okay. Awesome, 21. Okay.

1:25:10 Ally: Nice.

1:25:12 Brennan: You see she holds onto it. As you are closing that, is there anything you want to use that for now, or do you want to leave the situation as it is?

1:25:20 Ally: Can you ask him one last question, or do you think it'll–

1:25:22 Brennan: Anything you do past this is gonna cost the curse on the sword.

1:25:25 Siobhan: Do we wanna remove the gem from Lydia Barkrock?

1:25:28 Murph: I think that's just gonna lead to him be able to get out.

1:25:30 Fig: Lydia, do you want the gem gone?

1:25:33 Lydia: Do you have a way? Adaine nods.

1:25:36 Riz: We might.

1:25:37 Brennan: You see Ragh is openly weeping.

1:25:39 Ragh: If you could help my mom-

1:25:41 Ally: Should we do this in the right order, or should we do this now?

1:25:44 Brennan: It's a powerful magic that you know is particularly aligned at stopping Bakur. It's like the curse from the armor that is connected to Athenriel and connected to the wedding, connected to all this other stuff. So I think you know, whatever you wanna do, if you want to carve the gem out and use the curse to bind the gem, I think someone suggested that before.

1:26:04 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:26:04 Brennan: Even just sealing the gem would allow Lydia to remove it normally, to go get it medically removed.

1:26:10 Ally: Let's do it.

1:26:10 Siobhan: Great, let's do it.

1:26:11 Ally: And let's put it in Gilear.

1:26:12 Brennan: [laughs]

1:26:14 Gilear: Sorry?

1:26:15 Zac: We're gonna put it in his balls.

1:26:17 Riz: This is kind of your great-great-great-granddad.

1:26:18 Siobhan: I use my sword to pry this gem out.

1:26:20 Murph: We'll talk about it later.

1:26:22 Brennan: You touch the sword to the gem. The gem flashes. All of you see this pit fiend is projected out as the gem expands in light. The gold pierces his chest, sort of wild, red, burning blood, and suddenly you see that the gold, like the liquid gold from the tattoo gun, begins to spread over his skin like a liquid covering.

1:26:49 Adaine: You got a little yogurt on you.

1:26:51 Bakur: No! No, I…

1:26:53 Brennan: You see the pit fiend face splits, and you see a high elven face within, saying,

1:26:59 Athenriel: Not yogurt! No, cultured dairy! Not again! No! [screaming]

1:27:05 Brennan: You see the armor spreads and covers him. He looks a lot like Gilear.

1:27:10 Zac: Gorgug can't look. [turns his face away]

1:27:13 Brennan: The armor spreads and encases, and you see that actually, the back of the gem, emerging from Lydia's chest, the cracks and crevices that are in this scar tissue, a little bit of blood, not a lot, just a bit of blood pours out of her chest, and you see gold. So the gem is not even touching her flesh anymore. It's like liquid gold has sealed, congealed, and hardened, covering the base of the gem, the rocky base of the gem in her chest.

1:27:41 Adaine: Maybe since it's connected to gold, and now you're immune to gold things, maybe Fabian should take care of it.

1:27:46 Kristen: And I can heal you.

1:27:49 Fabian: All right. Yeah, I can do this.

1:27:51 Kristen: Kind of one two.

1:27:51 Fabian: Yeah, let's–

1:27:54 Hallariel: Fabian, do some surgery!

1:27:57 Fabian: Yes, all right.

1:27:57 Ally: I get really into it.

1:28:00 Siobhan: For the first time today, Fabian does surgery.

1:28:01 Ally: I put gloves on. I stand next to you like this. Ally raises their hands so their forearms are parallel to their body like a surgeon doing their best to keep their gloved hands sterile. Lou does as well.

1:28:02 Fabian: All right, here we go.

1:28:03 Murph: Riz looks nervously.

1:28:05 Riz: [crossing his arms][gritting his teeth]

1:28:08 Fabian: Can I have… Scalpel? Thank you.

1:28:13 Gorgug: You actually don't have to hold up your...

1:28:16 Kristen: Higher?

1:28:16 Gorgug: Yeah, higher.

1:28:18 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Medicine check.

1:28:20 Lou: Great. Can I have the Help action from Kristen?

1:28:22 Emily: Bardic.

1:28:22 Ally: Yeah, I can do Medicine too, if I'm the one kinda doing the Medicine.

1:28:26 Lou: No! No, don't.

1:28:26 Ally: I have the plus 10.

1:28:28 Fabian: I have a plus four, and this is kinda my thing, Kristen, you know?

1:28:30 Kristen: [nodding] Got it.

1:28:33 Brennan: Okay, we're gonna give Fabian a first crack at this.

1:28:34 Lou: Great, thank you.

1:28:35 Brennan: Fabian, it's a DC 20 Medicine check.

1:28:38 Emily: And you have a Bardic.

1:28:38 Lou: I have a Bardic.

1:28:41 Kristen: Scalpel! After seeing Lou’s rolls, Ally stands up to get closer to the dice in shock. Siobhan starts cackling as Ally and Zac’s mouths form perfect o’s. Emily leans over to get a look.

1:28:46 Zac: Double nat ones.

1:28:46 Siobhan: He rolled two ones.

1:28:48 Brennan: Fabian, you kill Lydia Barkrock.

1:28:49 Siobhan: No, no, no! I give him– [Murph screams]

1:28:50 Zac: No!

1:28:50 Emily: What?

1:28:52 Ally: Spare the Dying!

1:28:52 Siobhan: I give him 13.

1:28:54 Brennan: What's that?

1:28:54 Siobhan: I give him a 13.

1:28:56 Brennan: You give him a 13, okay.

1:28:58 Ally: I have Spare the Dying, though. I have Spare the Dying.

1:29:01 Brennan: Okay, you give him 13, so you don't kill Lydia Barkrock, but she goes,

1:29:03 Lydia: What the fuck are you doing?

1:29:05 Fabian: Sorry!

1:29:06 Lydia: What the fuck are you doing?

1:29:08 Ally: I body slam Fabian, and then I do a Medicine check.

1:29:11 Brennan: Okay, you do a Medicine check. Go ahead and roll.

1:29:14 Fabian: [holding a hand over his bad eye] Why is everyone attacking me? You told me to do surgery!

1:29:17 Ally: Nat 20.

1:29:17 Brennan: Oh my god!

1:29:20 Emily: Thank god!

1:29:20 Brennan: Okay, Kristen. You perfectly heal her body, and you watch as her body, like a splinter, pushes, and the crystal falls, and Fabian, you can catch the crystal right in the air as it falls.

1:29:33 Gorgug: I'm sorry I punched you in the head.

1:29:34 Fabian: No, it's fine. I did something, you know?

1:29:36 Kristen: Yeah.

1:29:38 Fabian: Ow.

1:29:38 Murph: You killed Lydia Barkrock.

1:29:41 Brennan: All of you watch as Lydia just goes,

1:29:45 Lydia: [heavy sigh] I can calm... [snoring]

1:29:48 Ally: Can I give Lydia a deep tissue Swedish massage?

1:29:52 Brennan: Ragh is crying. He's just like,

1:29:54 Ragh: Thank you so much! Thank you so much!

1:29:57 Brennan: Yeah, you give her a deep tissue. Talk about some knots!

1:29:58 Ally: Yeah.

1:30:00 Brennan: Talk about some knots, Lydia Barkrock.

1:30:00 Ally: Hey, hey!

1:30:01 Brennan: Kei Lumennura's a spa anyway, so you see Telemaine is like,

1:30:06 Telemaine: Lydia may remain for as long as she wishes.

1:30:09 Ally: So sick. I put cucumbers over her eyes. While still asleep, Lydia takes a cucumber slice and eats it.

1:30:15 Ally: I just replace each cucumber that she eats.

1:30:18 Zac: I'm just chopping.

1:30:18 Brennan: Chopping cucumbers.

1:30:20 Ally: My sous chef. Thank you. [raises their hands again like a surgeon][uses one hand to continuously place cucumbers on Lydia’s eyes]

1:30:22 Brennan: You've healed Lydia Barkrock's gem curse, and you see that—

1:30:25 Ally: Yes!

1:30:27 Brennan: Go ahead and write in your inventory, Bakur's Soul Gem.

1:30:31 Lou: Yeah, I'll hold onto Bakur's Soul Gem.

1:30:33 Riz: Don't offer it to someone to be cool.

1:30:35 Kristen: Yeah.

1:30:36 Riz: Try to seduce someone and give them the gem.

1:30:38 Emily: Who has the highest passive Perception?

1:30:40 Siobhan: Oh, Riz.

1:30:40 Emily: 'Cause that's probably who should hold onto that.

1:30:41 Murph: Well, I don't know.

1:30:43 Ally: Mine's 20 right now, actually.

1:30:44 Fabian: I feel like I can hold cursed gold. I mean, it's the reason you all asked me to do the surgery in the first place.

1:30:48 Emily: True!

1:30:48 Ally: What've you guys got?

1:30:49 Siobhan: I've got a 17 passive.

1:30:49 Emily: Do you have Magic Mouth? You could put a Magic Mouth spell on it so that if anyone touches it, then it says something.

1:30:57 Siobhan: I don't have Magic Mouth, but– oh, wait! But I do have Nystul's Magic Aura, which I will absolutely cast on it so divination spells reveal false information about it. It's one action, and it lasts for 24 hours, so I'll just keep doing that every day.

1:31:12 Brennan: Hell, yeah. What kind of aura do you wanna put on it?

1:31:14 Siobhan: It just looks like one of the empty palimpsests that we had in the first season.

1:31:19 Brennan: Perfect, absolutely. Great. And I think with that, you guys have made a enormous advancement forward and have healed a dear ally and friend of a terrible curse.

1:31:30 Lou: Happy to do it.

1:31:33 Ally: I punch Fabian. [Emily cackling]

1:31:36 Siobhan: The man has one eye.

1:31:38 Emily: Fig was looking at her phone and didn't see what happened, so she just assumes you did it. [points to Lou]

1:31:43 Brennan: Your guys' winter vacation comes to an end, and you return to Elmville.

1:31:48 Gorgug: I need a vacation from my vacation.

1:31:50 Adaine: Tell me about it.

1:31:50 Fabian: You're telling me!

1:31:51 Adaine: We didn't get a summer vacation.

1:31:52 Riz: You should do stand up.

1:31:52 Gorgug: Really?

1:31:53 Adaine: We didn't get a winter vacation.

1:31:54 Fabian: Gorgug, you should join the standup club.

1:31:55 Fig: Yeah, Gorgug!

1:31:55 Adaine: Yes!

1:31:56 Riz: I do standup club but–

1:31:56 Brennan: What I would love to do, if we can, is speedrun some downtime real quick.

1:32:04 Siobhan: Great.

1:32:04 Ally: Let's do it. Cracks knuckles.

1:32:05 Brennan: Let's do it.

1:32:06 Lou: When's that dance off?

1:32:07 Brennan: The dance off is in a month.

1:32:08 Lou: Okay, great.

1:32:08 Brennan: If you wanna say the dance off happens as a school project, I'll let you include the dance off in your bard academic track, if you'd like.

1:32:16 Lou: Sure.

1:32:17 Brennan: Fabian, let's kick it off with you.

1:32:19 Lou: Great. Popularity.

1:32:19 Brennan: Let's go.

1:32:22 Lou: Not any of the dice that I just rolled.

1:32:25 Ally: That one's blessed.

1:32:26 Lou: That one is blessed. [whimpers] What do I use? Performance?

1:32:29 Brennan: Performance.

1:32:31 Lou: 18.

1:32:31 Brennan: 18, okay. So popularity, people are not Charmed by you, but you have the advantage on the first Charisma check you make when you meet a new NPC.

1:32:41 Lou: Cool. Next, we'll do bard class.

1:32:49 Brennan: And you have advantage on any track check from your popularity as well. It's another advantage you get.

1:32:53 Lou: Got it, so I'll use that here.

1:32:55 Brennan: Cool, so this is bard class. You're rolling Performance again. DC 10 for a D.

1:33:01 Lou: That's gonna be a 23.

1:33:05 Brennan: A+ in bard class! Terpsichore's got you all there. Mazey is hooting and hollering and clapping her hands as an immortal elven dancer gets absolutely schooled, and a representative of the Council of Stars says,

1:33:21 Representative: This dance off constitutes a binding contract in which from this moment henceforth shall the Elven Oracle of Fallinel be a paid position.

1:33:32 Adaine: I would also like to say that Fabian is the champion of the Elven Oracle for any further future dance offs, and he also gets a paid stipend.

1:33:42 Representative: What? Yeah, yeah.

1:33:43 Brennan: Fabian, you become known as the Oracle of Dance, a sub-oracle of the Elven Oracle.

1:33:49 Lou: Can I run by Adaine's divination class and see if they've marked off that prediction about me becoming the greatest dancer in the world, if it's come true yet?

1:33:59 Brennan: Bing!

1:34:00 Fabian: Yes.

1:34:01 Brennan: Maximum legend!

1:34:01 Siobhan: Maximum legend.

1:34:04 Brennan: Incredible. Adaine?

1:34:06 Siobhan: Great, I go to Basrar's and give my two weeks' notice.

1:34:08 Brennan: He goes,

1:34:08 Basrar: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that–

1:34:11 Adaine: No, I love working here and I think you're great. I just am so busy with school, and there's this mystery.

1:34:17 Basrar: It is absolutely right. It's absolutely right.

1:34:19 Adaine: All this stuff.

1:34:20 Brennan: You see he smiles and says,

1:34:20 Basrar: Well.

1:34:22 Adaine: Maybe over the summer. Is that okay?

1:34:24 Brennan: He says,

1:34:24 Basrar: That sounds wonderful to me.

1:34:27 Brennan: And you see that he creates a little whale-shaped ice cream cake that says congratulations.

1:34:34 Adaine: Aw, a little Fudgie just for me!

1:34:34 Zac: Whale?

1:34:38 Siobhan: I don't tell any of my friends about it. I just eat it. I create a freezer in my room.

1:34:43 Brennan: You get a text from Aelwyn saying,

1:34:44 Ae: Why do I feel like you have a Fudgie right now?

1:34:46 Adaine: Fuck! I'm supposed to be the Oracle! How does she always know?

1:34:49 Adaine: [texting Aelwyn] Okay, come over!

1:34:51 Brennan: Amazing. As long as you put the Elven Oracle track somewhere in your track check, even if you don't succeed, you will be at well off. So you can go ahead and roll 2d10 GP. Fabian, any more tracks from you?

1:35:04 Lou: Yeah, we'll do Owlbears next.

1:35:07 Brennan: Let's go for it.

1:35:11 Lou: That's gonna be a 27.

1:35:13 Brennan: 27, killing it on the Owlbears field.

1:35:17 Lou: This'll be fighter class.

1:35:17 Brennan: Hell, yeah. DC 20.

1:35:22 Lou: That's a, which… Athletics? That'll be a-

1:35:26 Brennan: Mm-hmm, or Acrobatics.

1:35:30 Lou: If you let me use Acrobatics, we're getting nasty. [Siobhan laughs]

1:35:32 Brennan: Okay.

1:35:32 Lou: That'll be a 32.

1:35:36 Brennan: Oh my god! Wait a minute, 32? 'Cause you rolled advantage on–

1:35:40 Lou: Yes, 18 plus 14.

1:35:43 Ally: Wow.

1:35:43 Brennan: 32? 32 is exactly A+, wow.

1:35:47 Ally: Nice.

1:35:47 Brennan: Jesus Christ, Fabian.

1:35:49 Ally: Nice!

1:35:49 Siobhan: Nice.

1:35:50 Zac: Nice.

1:35:50 Lou: And then–

1:35:53 Ally: You wanna save Lydia Barkrock?

1:35:56 Siobhan: Go and kill her in the middle of the night.

1:35:58 Lou: I'd like me and Fig to go to KVX.

1:36:00 Emily: Oh yeah!

1:36:00 Brennan: Yes, okay. Incredible.

1:36:03 Siobhan: Do you want me to come?

1:36:03 Lou: Yes.

1:36:04 Brennan: Is this a job check? Are you doing a job?

1:36:06 Lou: Yeah, can we do a job check?

1:36:08 Brennan: Go ahead. The DC is 25.

1:36:08 Lou: Okay.

1:36:11 Brennan: This is Intimidation, absolutely.

1:36:13 Emily: I'm definitely Intimidating as well.

1:36:16 Brennan: Okay, you can go ahead and give me an Intimidation roll as well. We'll take the higher of the two.

1:36:21 Emily: I personally got a 29.

1:36:24 Lou: Jesus!

1:36:24 Emily: Oh, sorry, a 28.

1:36:26 Lou: I got a 22.

1:36:30 Brennan: A 28 and a 22. Your DC is 25, so you guys burst into the corporate headquarters in Bastion City of KVX. Lou moves his shoulders as if he is walking and holds a cupped hand out low.

1:36:42 Brennan: You walk up, you see Alston Hughes go–

1:36:43 Emily: I'm in a suit.

1:36:43 Lou: I'm also in a suit. But it's way too big. Shoulders are out here.

1:36:50 Brennan: He's like,

1:36:50 Mr. Hughes: Mr. Seacaster, and famous rock star Fig Faeth, hi.

1:36:55 Fabian: In positions, in positions. Sir?

1:36:57 Mr. Hughes: Mm-hmm? [Emily mimics gun swooshing]

1:36:59 Mr. Hughes: Okay, illegal. Fabian grunts and aims for the scrote.

1:37:02 Brennan: Your hands go right through an illusion, and he goes,

1:37:04 Mr. Hughes: Fool me once.

1:37:08 Fabian: You son of a bitch! [backhands the illusion]

1:37:08 Mr. Hughes: Fool me once.

1:37:10 Siobhan: I cast Locate Creature on the real guy.

1:37:14 Brennan: You see he goes,

1:37:14 Mr. Hughes: Listen.

1:37:16 Adaine: He's in the cupboard.

1:37:18 Mr. Hughes: Oh shit, shit!

1:37:18 Brennan: You guys get in there.

1:37:21 Fabian: He's too tight! I can't get in!

1:37:23 Brennan: He's smacking your hand away.

1:37:23 Mr. Hughes: Don't, don't do it!

1:37:25 Fig: Get his teeth! Get his teeth!

1:37:27 Fabian: We'll be back, asshole.

1:37:28 Brennan: He hits a button, a little artificer's thing on his suit, and a chastity belt shoots around his groin.

1:37:33 Fabian: Fuck!

1:37:34 Mr. Hughes: Your father slapped my two front teeth out of my head, and I had to get implants.

1:37:39 Fabian: Yeah, and I'm gonna get the other four!

1:37:41 Mr. Hughes: God. I know your father would be really proud. I know he'd be really proud. All right.

1:37:46 Fabian: Anyway, have a great day.

1:37:49 Mr. Hughes: There is a clause in the contract your father signed for the trust that any time you physically find and threaten me, I can give you a 200 gold piece advance.

1:37:57 Fabian: Great. All right, cool, awesome. Well, we'll be back.

1:38:00 Mr. Hughes: All right, I'll wire you the advance and, you know, it'll be there at the end of the week.

1:38:03 Fabian: Hey, thank you.

1:38:03 Fig: Ah, it'll be there tomorrow.

1:38:06 Adaine: Can I open a bank account?

1:38:07 Mr. Hughes: All right, wow! How did you get a gun in here? Fig twirls her gun.

1:38:13 Brennan: All right, Fabian, those are your tracks. Hell, yeah. Adaine, you were sort of starting yours, and now you're at the well-off condition.

1:38:18 Siobhan: Yeah, so I can finally pass my academics.

1:38:22 Ally: Without disadvantage.

1:38:23 Brennan: Without disadvantage!

1:38:23 Siobhan: Without disadvantage. So I'll start off with academics. And that's a dirty 20.

1:38:31 Brennan: A+ wizard classes.

1:38:31 Siobhan: Great.

1:38:33 Brennan: You show up with all the gear and kit and everything like that. The main thing you have is time for actual research projects. You've been keeping up by spending every minute finding workarounds, and now you have time if you want to fucking research spells or do other shit, cool.

1:38:47 Siobhan: Absolutely, I do.

1:38:47 Brennan: Hell, yeah. Go for it.

1:38:49 Siobhan: Yeah, I would love to learn Legend Lore.

1:38:52 Brennan: Go ahead, give me another, you're starting at DC For every three points above another spell in your wizard spellbook evenly spread throughout your spell levels, starting at the top.

1:39:07 Siobhan: Great, I will use Boggy to give me advantage on this.

1:39:09 Brennan: All right, this is the Boggy roll.

1:39:11 Siobhan: This is the Boggy roll. That's a 22.

1:39:15 Brennan: So you learn a 7th, 6th, 5th, and 4th level wizard spell.

1:39:17 Ally: Wow! So sick.

1:39:19 Brennan: Having the fucking resources you need to do the work you need to do, you got tons of time just to hit the library on your own.

1:39:25 Siobhan: And you know I'm gonna do a mystery track check.

1:39:28 Brennan: Let's do it!

1:39:28 Ally: Yes.

1:39:29 Brennan: DC 15.

1:39:31 Siobhan: You know what I wanna do, is I will do Investigation. So that only gives me an 18.

1:39:36 Brennan: Okay.

1:39:40 Siobhan: But I wanna look into the stuff that Aelwyn was talking about with Kipperlilly Copperkettle.

1:39:48 Brennan: This is gonna happen at the end of your downtime, so it might not resolve in this episode. You begin to pull strings just through scrying and following stuff with the food trucks that come to school. You begin to track down physical locations in Kipperlilly's network and think you might be able to, over time–

1:40:06 Siobhan: Great.

1:40:06 Brennan: ...run down some leads about where her and the Rat Grinders live, meet, get up to their business, all that shit.

1:40:14 Siobhan: Awesome, yeah, I would love to know some places that we could potentially scry on.

1:40:19 Brennan: On an 18, you are on the trail. You've found their intermediary locations, and know that all you need to do is get someone at the right moment where they're leaving one of these places to go to headquarters.

1:40:31 Siobhan: Sick. And then I'll try and do a relaxation check. It's DC 20, right?

1:40:38 Brennan: This is DC 20, yeah.

1:40:41 Siobhan: I make it.

1:40:41 Brennan: What did you roll?

1:40:44 Siobhan: I rolled a 17 and I have a plus 8 to Wisdom.

1:40:46 Brennan: So actually, so sorry. 17 plus 8 is 25?

1:40:50 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:40:51 Brennan: You can remove two stress tokens.

1:40:53 Ally: Woo!

1:40:53 Lou: Wow, look at that.

1:40:55 Siobhan: I go to Fabian's nurse day.

1:40:57 Fabian: Oh my god, somebody came!

1:40:57 Adaine: This is really so nice.

1:41:01 Fabian: Yolanda, this is my friend Adaine.

1:41:03 Adaine: I know somebody who used to be called Yolanda. That's great.

1:41:06 Fabian: Oh wait, never mind. Scratch that. Abigail!

1:41:08 Lou: Do we have Abigails?

1:41:10 Brennan: Abigail's great! You find out firsthand the depths of the horrors of capitalism, that your life becomes immediately–

1:41:18 Adaine: Wow, this is wild. I have 29 gold pieces. Fabian makes 3,500 a week.

1:41:23 Fabian: And I'll make 200 more if I can find this banker and physically assault him.

1:41:30 Adaine: Look, listen.

1:41:30 Emily: Yeah, tomorrow!

1:41:31 Adaine: If you wanna go 50/50, I'll find this man for you every day.

1:41:34 Fabian: Great, you cast Locate, and then me and Fig roll up, bop bop!

1:41:37 Brennan: You're getting cut in on finding this guy!

1:41:40 Ally: So funny.

1:41:40 Brennan: Incredible.

1:41:42 Emily: I don't need money. I get off on just seeing the fear in his eyes.

1:41:46 Ally: German Shepherd pride.

1:41:46 Brennan: So okay, that's Adaine. Think about which ones you're taking off, which stress tokens you're kinda taking off.

1:41:54 Siobhan: Oh, I don't remember what the first one was.

1:41:56 Brennan: You can kinda mix and match. So it's just two stress tokens worth of stuff that you gave disadvantage on-

1:42:00 Siobhan: I mean yeah, honestly… Oh, right, from here. Yes.

1:42:01 Brennan: 'Cause when you lose stress tokens, the shit that they did to you goes away.

1:42:05 Siobhan: Great, sick, so I'll do it off my skill checks.

1:42:08 Brennan: So unbelievable that you're this accomplished. You're getting all these spells researched, and you get back to Mordred. You and Aelwyn have Fudgie the Whale there, and I think too, at one point Jawbone comes in and looks at you and says,

1:42:21 Jawbone: Looking good, kid.

1:42:23 Adaine: Thanks, Jawbone. I feel like haven't spoken to you in, like, three months, and I'm so sorry.

1:42:27 Brennan: He looks at you and goes,

1:42:27 Jawbone: Hey.

1:42:29 Adaine: Are you okay?

1:42:31 Brennan: He gives you a big, big hug. He goes,

1:42:33 Jawbone: I can tell you were having a really tough time.

1:42:37 Adaine: Yeah. Yeah.

1:42:40 Jawbone: Were you having some trouble with money stuff?

1:42:42 Adaine: Yeah, I just didn't wanna bother you. But I fixed it. I sorted it out. I actually feel really good that I fixed it myself, you know?

1:42:50 Brennan: He looks down. You see he sort of rubs his eyes.

1:42:54 Jawbone: [sighs] Fixing it yourself. Yeah, that sounds like Adaine.

1:42:58 Adaine: And Basrar said he'd keep on giving me my employee discount even though I don't work there anymore, so anytime you wanna go get ice cream, it's on me.

1:43:04 Brennan: He smiles at you and says,

1:43:04 Jawbone: While you're living under this roof, ice cream nights are on us. I know that the house is getting fixed up, but-

1:43:12 Adaine: All right, well, you know, it's nice for me to treat you sometimes.

1:43:16 Jawbone: How about this? You park it in there. I know you got books to read and wizard stuff to do. I'll go grab some ice cream from Basrar's, okay?

1:43:23 Siobhan: I hide the Fudgie the Whale that just me and Aelwyn–

1:43:26 Brennan: Have been eating.

1:43:27 Siobhan: I'm just covered in chocolate.

1:43:28 Brennan: You open the freezer in Mordred and see a little portal with Aelwyn's hand coming through with a spoon.

1:43:33 Adaine: Hey! [smacks Aelwyn’s hand]

1:43:33 Aelwyn: Ah! Bitch, why?

1:43:37 Brennan: Okay, that's Adaine. Kristen, after Adaine's track here, we'll go to you.

1:43:40 Ally: Great.

1:43:40 Brennan: You arrive at cleric class as you get back into classes, walk in, and see a man in a beautiful white suit, a shock of white hair, thick black eyebrows with very, very white hair. You see he looks around at the clerics gathering and says,

1:44:01 Bobby: Followers of divinity, a pleasure and honor to assume the role of your teacher and professor here at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. My name is Bobby Dawn, and let me just say, today is the beginning of a bright new day.

1:44:23 Brennan: And that's all for this episode of "Dimension 20". Tune in next week as a new day begins. See you at Basrar's.

1:44:29 Players: See you at Basrar's! [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 14: Dawn of Justice] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20]

1:44:32 Gertie: Listen, I think we should call out the elephant in the room. I have feelings for you.

1:44:36 Kristen: Oh, yeah.

1:44:38 Gertie: But one of your closest friends is my arch-nemesis. [Emily laughing]

1:44:43 Kristen: Kind of Shakespearean in that way, huh?

1:44:45 Gertie: Very tragic. We are, I am afraid, star-crossed.

1:44:49 Kristen: We're star-crossed.

1:44:51 Emily: God, I love her so much! I'm gonna steal your girl, Kristen!

1:44:56 Ally: No! Gertie is mine!

1:45:00 Gorgug: Fabian, I don't really care about Owlbears. I'm sorry, I've just felt this way for a long time.

1:45:06 Fabian: Wait, what do you mean you don't care about Owlbears?

1:45:08 Gorgug: I don't know if I ever did.

1:45:10 Fabian: You don't like all the towel slapping we do? You love getting towel slapped, Gorgug!

1:45:15 Gorgug: There's a moment after every practice where you do your helicopter noise with the towel.

1:45:20 Fabian: [doing his helicopter noise] And I find you. Yatta!

1:45:24 Gorgug: And I'm hiding from you.

1:45:24 Fabian: Yes, I know! That's the fun part! It's a game we play!

1:45:29 Gorgug: I just don't know if I have it in me to keep on the team.

1:45:36 Kipperlilly: It's really nice how charmed everyone is by how little you fucking care. I guess egg on my face for wanting something.

1:45:47 Kristen: What do you want?

1:45:48 Kipperlilly: I want you to go fuck yourself.

1:45:50 Fabian: Whoa! Relax!

1:45:50 Kristen: Security detail! Security detail! Security detail!

1:45:56 Emily: I smite Kipperlilly!

1:45:58 Bobby: Wow, Ms. Applebees. I behold you weeping in my office. Helio would welcome you with open arms. I imagine you'll have a great deal more time for worship now.

1:46:09 Kristen: Why is that?

1:46:11 Bobby: 'Cause you no longer attend this school, Ms. Applebees.

1:46:14 Brennan: Kristen has failed cleric class and is being expelled.

1:46:18 Siobhan: What?

1:46:18 Emily: What?

1:46:19 Riz: This is bullshit. This is bullshit.

1:46:21 Adaine: There's no grounds.

1:46:21 Riz: There's no grounds, Jawbone!

1:46:23 Gorgug: Riz!

1:46:24 Fig: We don't need a groundskeeper, 'cause there's no grounds!

1:46:26 Kristen: Yeah, we're hemorrhaging money on the groundskeeper, Jawbone!

1:46:30 Jawbone: Well, your grades are all so good that if you want, you could take the Last Standard Exam. It's an endurance test where you are fighting monsters while answering a series of academic questions.

1:46:45 Adaine: Yes!

1:46:45 Emily: I call fighting monsters. Someone else do the academic questions.

1:46:49 Riz: Yes! Yes! Bad Kids start stretching. ?: So, fight heroically, stay up for as long as possible, and there will be a cleric on standby to raise you after the exam is concluded.

1:47:00 Fig: Wait, who's the cleric gonna be on standby?

1:47:02 Fabian: Crazy that we go to this school where we have to be worried that the cleric teacher won't bring us back from the dead.

1:47:02 Captions extracted by: gluegunshots

1:47:02 Edited by: gluegunshots