A New York Wedding

0:00:00 Voice: [whispering] The angel of the waters, the fountain of purification and healing, where all things can be born anew. That's what dreams are, they're the one thing that connects us all.

0:00:13 Brennan: Your desire to understand the thoughts of this being have awoken it from whatever was binding it.

0:00:19 Ally: Fuck yeah.

0:00:20 Emily: I want to take out my little hair styling comb and start going at these tails, trying to get the tangles out.

0:00:25 Rat King: [Everyone Yelling At Once] Our tails!

0:00:31 Kugrash: My children, you have a new, fucking non-douche bag king        now.

0:00:37 Brennan: The rat king defeated, you hold his crown in your hands.

0:00:40 Em: Something came and tore me off. The rat king was there and he dragged me away, but--

0:00:45 Sofia: But it wasn't the rat king that threw you off?

0:00:46 Kugrash: Something else did.

0:00:47 Em: No. To tear me off of that fountain, you would need powerful magic.

0:00:51 Ricky: What were we doing? The wedding! [END RECAP] [mystical piano music]

0:01:01 Brennan: Welcome back to the Unsleeping City! My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan here are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes!

0:01:08 All: Hi, intrepid heroes!

0:01:10 Brennan: Oh, gosh! Ah, last we left our brave adventurers off, they were deep in a cistern covered in grime and mold and muck, fighting against the rat king himself! Being victorious over the rat king, now holding the crown of the rat king, you guys liberated Em, the angel of the waters. The statue of Bethesda Fountain.

0:01:31 Emily: My girl.

0:01:31 Brennan: Your girl. Who cleaned you guys off, healed you. Incredible bit of dream magic from Pete, waking Em up. Uh, and she flew off back to Bethesda Fountain. You guys are in your nice wedding duds. Drenched, but sweet-smelling, with a little bit of help from Em, purifying you guys of all the filth and shit and piss. What do you guys do, here in the sewers?

0:01:55 Murph: Um...

0:01:58 Siobhan: Wait, let's take a look at this crown. Is this crown...?

0:02:01 Murph: Yeah.

0:02:01 Ally: Oh, right!

0:02:02 Kugrash: I think I was wearing it. You guys wanna... hey, let's check it out. What is this?

0:02:05 Pete: You can keep wearing it, you seem like you really like it.

0:02:07 Kugrash: Yeah, you guys can just look at my head. Look at my head, what is this thing?

0:02:11 Sofia: Kingston, weren't you talking about that guy who puts valuable things up his butt?

0:02:16 Kingston: Oh, yeah.

0:02:17 Kugrash: It it funny.

0:02:18 Kingston: It's that guy who comes in here all the time. Yeah, this guy who comes in the hospital a lot who puts stuff up his butt, yeah.

0:02:24 Sofia: I'm saying we could--

0:02:24 Ricky: Do you think it came out of his butt?

0:02:26 Kugrash: I don't think you could fit a crown up there.

0:02:28 Sofia: That's not my point! My point is, maybe he might have some perspective on.

0:02:33 Ally: Lowell.

0:02:34 Kingston: Yeah, think about Lowell.

0:02:35 Murph: Can I do a wisdom check or something on it?

0:02:37 Brennan: Uh, you wanna do an insight check on the crown?

0:02:39 Murph: Yeah.

0:02:40 Brennan: Be my guest.

0:02:40 Murph: Sweet.

0:02:42 Ally: Ooh!

0:02:42 Murph: 24.

0:02:42 Emily: Woo-hoo!

0:02:42 Brennan: 24, very cool! Uh, Murph, do you have the card over you?

0:02:49 Murph: I do.

0:02:51 Brennan: You get a bead on this and get the sense that yes. This is a magical crown. Whether or not it's been up a single individual's butthole is hard to say.

0:03:04 Kugrash: Right, all right.

0:03:05 Brennan: In all likelihood, given the state of wear and tear on the crown? This thing could've been up any number of buttholes.

0:03:11 Emily: Um, I used to do colonics at the salon. Can I do an insight check to see if it's been up--

0:03:17 Kingston: I'm sorry, your salon offers colonics?

0:03:19 Kugrash: I was just trying to see if it was magic, but d'you wanna see if it's...

0:03:21 Brennan: It is, it is very magical, yes.

0:03:24 Kugrash: Got it.

0:03:25 Kingston: Can we get out of this dirty-ass sewer?

0:03:26 Misty: I concur.

0:03:27 Kingston: We can have this conversation up--

0:03:29 Kugrash: There might be some more cool stuff!

0:03:30 Murph: I just start crawling through. [voices drowning each other out]

0:03:33 Pete: All right guys, lets go. I can’t breathe.

0:03:35 Sofia: Oh, my god.

0:03:36 Brennan: All of you guys head tromping out of the sewers. You arrive back, having been dried off through the long period of coming down through the sewers. Maybe a little bit of magic here and there to help, 'cos you get out and it is freezing cold.

0:03:43 Ally: Fuck

0:03:49 Brennan: The sun has since set. It is December in New York. Little strips of snow hang out here and there, but snow often doesn't hang around even if it stays cold in New York for very long. You arrive in the manhole cover that you exited from, back near the Ramble where you can presume that the reception for the wedding is just beginning. And you see Bethesda Fountain cracked in half. [Emily gasping]

0:04:15 Brennan: There is a blasted streak of soot and ash across it. And you see Em there on her knees, looking at the fountain, tears running down her face.

0:04:27 Emily: Uh, I mean, I run to help her. I say,

0:04:29 Sofia: You know what, honestly, I have fixed worse hairdos than this.

0:04:34 Brennan: See, she sort of laughs a little bit to herself and says, [somber piano music]

0:04:41 Em: I don't understand. I've guarded this fountain since it was put here, The beginning of the park. I was the guardian of the waters. I was with the Rat King the whole time. It couldn't have been him.

0:04:59 Sofia: Why did you have to guard it to begin with? Who would you be protecting it from?

0:05:06 Brennan: [sighs] She looks down and says,

0:05:09 Em: New York can be a tough city. There are a lot of odds stacked against the average person here. This fountain represented a change in the course of the city. Both in terms of, I was modeled to look like, you know.

0:05:31 Sofia: Million bucks.

0:05:33 Em: Thanks.

0:05:35 Brennan: You see, she says,

0:05:36 Em: I was modeled after a washerwoman. Not a member of the aristocracy, this place was supposed to be a fountain to bring people joy. I was supposed to guard the human waters here. And you know, they hired a woman to design me. That's a big deal, I think--

0:05:57 Sofia: You can tell. You've got a woman's touch.

0:05:59 Em: I agree, I appreciate that.

0:06:02 Ricky: That's awesome.

0:06:02 Em: You a feminist?

0:06:05 Ricky: Yeah, I think that's great. I am a feminist.

0:06:08 Pete: I definitely have to interrupt this. Okay. What was, so you said healing waters. What was the significance? Because remember I had that vision where the baby told me that people come here with dreams. Everyone came here with a dream. Is this—

0:06:24 Misty: Oh, darling. People have been coming here with dreams for 400 years.

0:06:26 Pete: Yeah, that's true.

0:06:29 Sofia: What year did the Bethesda Fountain get installed?

0:06:33 Brennan: [whispers] One second.

0:06:35 Emily: Just gonna put you on the spot real quick!

0:06:38 Lou: Yeah, what are you made out of?

0:06:40 Siobhan: What specifically is the type of stone?

0:06:43 Emily: I can tell you the reason I'm asking, because maybe you don't even need to do—

0:06:45 Em: I actually do know, and it was 1864.

0:06:48 Sofia: 1864, how old are you?

0:06:48 Misty: A lady never... [grumbles]

0:06:53 Em: Sofia!

0:06:55 Kugrash: Excuse you, yeah.

0:06:56 Sofia: We're all comfortable here! I'll say how old I am.

0:06:58 Misty: I mean, look. Was I here in 1864? Sure, absolutely.

0:07:03 Sofia: Do you remember it getting installed?

0:07:06 Misty: Ah, after so many lifetimes, one just forgets.

0:07:10 Brennan: See, Em says,

0:07:12 Em: The point I'm trying to make is this. To answer your question, the waters that were put here were meant to be a source of divine magic in the city. And any time you have a city like New York that's very cosmopolitan, it tends to tap into a divinity that is neutral. For everybody. And there are ways to abuse that, if you're not careful. These waters are not only about healing. They're also about purification. People can come here and anoint themselves, start a new life. I can't tell you how many times someone's walked through this park and come by this fountain and decided to turn around for the better. But in a concentrated dose, it could also be used to purify… I don't know. Anything.

0:08:06 Ricky: Like, something evil?

0:08:09 Sofia: Like someone who was on the naughty list. Em stares intensely at Sofia.

0:08:11 Pete: Someone who escaped.

0:08:12 Ally: Can I do an Insight check to look for clues around this fucked-up fountain?

0:08:17 Brennan: Uh, yeah, go for it.

0:08:19 Siobhan: Yeah, I'd also like to do that.

0:08:20 Sofia: What was that face you made when I said naughty list?

0:08:23 Siobhan: Uh, I got a 25.

0:08:23 Brennan: 25? Hell yeah. You scoop some of the soot off the thing. You've been around a long time. Smell it. This soot is not burnt stone or wood. This is old cremated flesh.

0:08:42 Ally: Jesus Christ.

0:08:49 Misty: [coughs] Kugrash. Misty wipes her finger off on Kugrash.

0:08:49 Kugrash: Hey! Oh, hey, what's that?

0:08:51 Misty: Uh, this is a person. This is the cremated remains of a--

0:09:00 Sofia: Some kind of ritual ritual!

0:09:03 Kugrash: Somebody thrown in a felon?

0:09:04 Ally: I take out a bunch of bags of coke and dump them out,

0:09:06 Emily: Like respectfully?

0:09:07 Ally: And then collect some of these remains.

0:09:10 Siobhan: Oh, in a baggie?

0:09:10 Ally: To get a sample. I flip it inside out, and then I put--

0:09:15 Sofia: Oh my god, the ultimate sacrifice!

0:09:17 Pete: I mean, remember, it almost all got ruined! In a way, this is all… I mean, do you guys wanna do some, or?

0:09:22 Kingston: No!

0:09:22 Kugrash: Wait, are you gonna snort some kind of dead demon person?

0:09:24 Pete: No, no, so we can test it!

0:09:24 Kingston: No, it's evidence!

0:09:27 Kugrash: Oh, I thought we were gonna snort it. I was gonna say I'll do it with you.

0:09:31 Pete: You can have some blow if you want. Honestly, I don't touch the stuff any more.

0:09:35 Kugrash: I kind of wanna know what happens if I snort the guy, sorry.

0:09:38 Misty: I don't think that's a great--

0:09:40 Kugrash: I'm a rat, I'm sorry!

0:09:40 Pete: That's not a rat thing.

0:09:44 Kugrash: I'm the rat king, okay?

0:09:44 Sofia: You got all up in arms when I asked women their ages.

0:09:48 Misty: These aren't recent remains. These are the ancient remains of a cremated body.

0:09:52 Pete: Maybe we can do some sort of testing.

0:09:54 Misty: Oh, absolutely.

0:09:55 Sofia: I agree. I think this is a good move.

0:09:58 Pete: I have, like, three bags of remains.

0:10:00 Misty: Young man, I know that you're new to this. But don't you have some kind of Detect Magic, as a sorcerer, what...?

0:10:07 Pete: Uh, yeah, I do. I can ask to use that, I guess.

0:10:15 Brennan: Absolutely. You do have Detect Magic, don't you?

0:10:20 Ally: I do have Detect Magic. I just don't know how I would. Oh no, I have Detect Thoughts.

0:10:25 Siobhan: Oh, you don't have Detect Magic.

0:10:27 Sofia: Maybe I have it. I know I'm not a healer, but maybe that's my magic.

0:10:30 Misty: Sofie…

0:10:32 Sofia: I put my hands on it.

0:10:34 Misty: Sofie, your magic is that you're a wonderful person. And you jump really good.

0:10:39 Sofia: Do I get anything?

0:10:40 Brennan: Uh, go ahead and roll me a pure luck check.

0:10:45 Emily: 14.

0:10:45 Ally: Damn!

0:10:47 Brennan: Hey, you put your hands on there, and you hear a whispering.

0:10:51 Sofia: Oh my god.

0:10:51 Em: Sofie...

0:10:53 Sofia: Oh my god.

0:10:53 Em: You should stand up.

0:10:56 Brennan: And you see Em's talking in your ear.

0:10:58 Em: You gotta stand up. It's not gonna happen.

0:10:59 Sofia: Okay, I'm sorry.

0:11:00 Em: No, you're okay.

0:11:01 Sofia: Absolutely, it's fine. Thank you, I'm not a detect magician.

0:11:04 Ricky: Go, like, a hardware store nearby? Maybe we can get this thing patched up?

0:11:09 Em: The whole fountain?

0:11:11 Ricky: Yeah, I don't know. I can stay here if you guys...

0:11:13 Sofia: Look, my family works in construction?

0:11:17 Misty: I think that we could maybe help in some other way.

0:11:19 Brennan: See, Em looks out and says,

0:11:23 Em: Look, all of you are too kind to rescue me and then offer to help right here, I can't be here. I have to find a way to get back in touch with the waters.

0:11:35 Misty: Can we take you to the reservoir or Washington Square Park, or somewhere else like that?

0:11:40 Sofia: You could always stay at my place.

0:11:42 Misty: Do you live in a fountain?

0:11:43 Sofia: No, I'm on Staten Island.

0:11:45 Em: I'm gonna go to Washington Square Park.

0:11:47 Misty: Great!

0:11:49 Pete: No-one wants to go to your place, Sofie! I’m really sorry.

0:11:51 Sofia: The ferry is so quick!

0:11:53 Em: Well, I can fly, so it's not that.

0:11:54 Sofia: Okay, got it!

0:11:55 Em: I'm gonna go to Washington Square Park to figure something out. Be careful, be safe out there.

0:12:02 Misty: You too.

0:12:03 Em: Thank you for everything you've done. Something's going on.

0:12:08 Misty: Hey, let us know if you need any more help.

0:12:10 Em: Toots, [winks] I knew I could always count on you.

0:12:12 Brennan: [exhaling heavily] She takes off into the sky. You hear the faint, sort of, twinkle of music coming from off in the ramble as the wedding continues. [light, sophisticated music]

0:12:26 Kingston: Well, let's go, I'm going to this wedding.

0:12:28 Kugrash: Yah, lets go to the wedding

0:12:29 Misty: Yah, I’m going to a wedding

0:12:30 Kugrash: This is the bread wedding. The pigeons are gonna get offed! I'm predicting it!

0:12:35 Sofia: [laughs] That's a really good pun.

0:12:36 Ricky: The bread wedding.

0:12:36 Kingston: The bread wedding

0:12:37 Kugrash: The bread wedding. 'Cos it's bad for birds to eat their bread. Thank you.

0:12:40 Pete: I thought it was rice. I thought birds could eat bread.

0:12:45 Kugrash: I think, I think they don’t eat

0:12:47 Kingston: Kugrash doesn’t really get to tell jokes that often.

0:12:48 Pete: Oh, sorry.

0:12:50 Kugrash: I'm a fuckin' rat, Pete.

0:12:50 Pete: I'm sorry!

0:12:51 Misty: I like it, bread wedding.

0:12:52 Pete: Hey, what should I do? I'll just keep it in my bag.

0:12:55 Kingston: Yeah, hold onto the remains.

0:12:58 Kugrash: I'm worried about my friend, Ronald Pigeon.

0:13:00 Sofia: Um, is anyone vaguely concerned that we're gonna be going into a wedding we aren't technically invited to with a bag of remains?

0:13:07 Kugrash: We're invited.

0:13:07 Misty: No!

0:13:09 Pete: It looks like all the other drugs. Look,

0:13:10 Ally: I hold up a bunch of dime bags.

0:13:13 Sofia: Your coke is really black.

0:13:13 Pete: Mm-hm, yeah. It's crazy.

0:13:16 Sofia: Its really dark coke.

0:13:18 Kingston: Can we go?

0:13:20 Kugrash: Yeah, we're plus-ones to the pigeons.

0:13:22 Brennan: You guys wander back into the wedding. It's been like an hour and a half. The ceremony's fully over, so you guys just dipped on the ceremony and are now back here as the reception's starting up. Wine's going around. [fancy band music]

0:13:36 Brennan: You see, as you arrive back at the glade, people are now out of the tent, the dance floor's getting cleared out, you see as you enter back in, surrounded by other pixies, they're all hanging out on a mostly empty hors d'ouerves tray that an ogre is holding. You see that Don Confetti, no longer in the cottage, looks up at you and goes, Looks like you found your way back to the wedding.

0:14:03 Don Confetti: Funny, is it appropriate in your various cultures to say hi at a wedding, leave for the entire ceremony, and then come back to enjoy the free food and drink?

0:14:14 Sofia: I mean, I'm fascinated that during your daughter's wedding, you were scanning the crowd to see who was in attendance.

0:14:20 Misty: Darling, the show must go on. Sometimes things happen, and you have to improvise. And that's what's so exciting about life.

0:14:28 Brennan: Give me a persuasion check real quick.

0:14:29 Sofia: I like her answer better, ignore mine.

0:14:32 Siobhan: I got 20, not nat.

0:14:32 Brennan: Not nat. You see, he goes,

0:14:36 Don Confetti: I suppose I don't have an understanding of how actors and various other hooligans and theater people conduct their business. But you're welcome to avail yourself to all the food and tasty treats here. Many of them are quite small, although, of course, that is to be expected, because I and my family are very teeny tiny.

0:14:57 Misty: Teeny tiny in stature, but big in character and importance.

0:15:02 Don Confetti: You have spoken truly, Misty Moore. A true friend, as always, to the pixies and the entire Confetti family. Please help yourselves to some cupcakes and also we have, I believe, some cannolis that are being passed around right now.

0:15:16 Sofia: You do, I'm eating one.

0:15:20 Don Confetti: It's good, right? We get 'em from Gianella's over in Brooklyn. They do a great cannoli.

0:15:24 Sofia: Well, you should try it at Spaghetti's.

0:15:28 Don Confetti: What is happening in Staten Island?

0:15:32 Ricky: A bakery named Spaghetti's?

0:15:32 Kugrash: A bakery?

0:15:35 Don Confetti: I'm sorry, I have to raise a point. Isn't your last name just the Italian word for bicycle?

0:15:41 Sofia: Yeah, yeah it is.

0:15:44 Don Confetti: A-woof. You know what I'm talking about?

0:15:49 Misty: Your last name's Confetti!

0:15:49 Kingston: Watch out, Confetti!

0:15:51 Don Confetti: Oh, you got a problem with my last name?

0:15:51 Misty: [crosstalk] No, I love your last name!

0:15:52 Brennan: You guys hear all a ton of ch-ch-ch-ch.

0:15:55 Zac: Little tiny guns?

0:15:55 Brennan: Little tiny guns. All these pixies cock—

0:15:58 Kingston: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

0:16:00 Sofia: I take my earrings out.

0:16:00 Kingston: Whoa, everybody.

0:16:03 Siobhan: I use Minor Illusion to throw confetti up into the air.

0:16:06 Misty: It's a celebration! Your name is a celebration!

0:16:08 Don Confetti: Ah, the symbol of our name. Beautiful, confetti. Little pieces of paper to mark a celebration and they get stuck in the street and all the gutters and stuff. All right, help yourself to the food.

0:16:18 Kingston: All right. That almost went real south, everybody.

0:16:26 Kugrash: Let's not get shot.

0:16:26 Kingston: Yeah.

0:16:28 Ricky: Do you bake spaghetti? I don't actually--

0:16:31 Sofia: It's a bakery called Spaghetti's.

0:16:33 Kugrash: Joey Spaghetti's.

0:16:33 Sofia: It's really good.

0:16:35 Kingston: It's honestly not bad. Sofia looks at Kingston, shocked, then points at him with a grin.

0:16:38 Brennan: I'm going to need everybody here to make a Wisdom saving throw. [all groaning]

0:16:48 Murph: 22.

0:16:50 Lou: 18.

0:16:51 Ally: 18, I get advantage on all Wisdom saving throws.

0:16:53 Emily: 17.

0:16:54 Zac: 4.

0:16:55 Brennan: 4, gotcha.

0:16:58 Siobhan: 15.

0:16:58 Brennan: 15, and what did Sofia get?

0:17:00 Emily: 17.

0:17:00 Brennan: Cool, gotcha.

0:17:01 Ricky: Wow, right?

0:17:01 Lou: Wise crew.

0:17:05 Ally: Here we go!

0:17:06 Siobhan: Too wise crew.

0:17:10 Zac: Oh, can I use a lucky point?

0:17:11 Brennan: You can use lucky point if you want.

0:17:12 Zac: Okay, great. Nat 1.

0:17:17 Brennan: Nat 1. We'll go with the eight! Do you get advantage on all Wisdom saving throws? Or, what does it say?

0:17:23 Ally: Enchantment and possession.

0:17:24 Brennan: This is not enchantment, so you do not get advantage.

0:17:27 Ally: Oh, okay, 11. And then my wisdom.

0:17:30 Zac: Should I use another lucky point?

0:17:31 Ally: 13.

0:17:31 Brennan: 13, gotcha.

0:17:34 Emily: It might be something small.

0:17:36 Brennan: Cool. You guys are hanging out at the wedding. The reception is starting. [upmarket band music]

0:17:40 Brennan: You guys see that the tent is full. Angela, the bride, is saying hi to everyone. She looks so happy. She's got, no shock here, a little pixie cut that comes over one of her eyes. She looks so happy. You see an announcer who looks to be this little cricket-legged faerie with a little tux jacket on, goes,

0:18:02 Announcer: [microphone squealing] All right, all right, all right! Let's clear that dance floor for our first dance between the bride and groom! Give it up for Angela Confetti and Ronald Pigeon!

0:18:15 Ricky: I'm so excited to see what this looks like.

0:18:18 Brennan: You guys see that Angela steps out on the floor, makes an earnest attempt to start dancing with Ronald, who's about as big as she is. But Ronald can mostly just pigeon around. [bobbing his head] He can't really dance. So he's just kind of jutting, higgledy-piggledy, over the dance floor. And she kind of twirls, and little bits of glitter around her as this happens.

0:18:39 Ally: I start trying to palm people different pill cocktails. 'Cos that's just how I bond at a wedding.

0:18:45 Pete: You're gonna need this.

0:18:46 Sofia: This is reminding me of my first dance with Dale so I'll take one.

0:18:51 Pete: There's a bunch of good stuff in there. There's about five different pills.

0:18:54 Sofia: Cool, I take some pills.

0:18:55 Brennan: You pop some. Anyone who wants to can make a Perception check.

0:19:00 Lou: You know I will.

0:19:01 Ally: I don't think I'm very Perceptive.

0:19:03 Siobhan: Oh, I got a nat 1.

0:19:03 Emily: 21!

0:19:05 Murph: 23.

0:19:05 Lou: 18.

0:19:06 Brennan: Cool.

0:19:06 Zac: Perception, I got 18.

0:19:10 Brennan: 18, cool. So, Misty, what's Misty doing here at the reception with a nat one on a perception?

0:19:16 Siobhan: I mean, I'm just drinking champagne, baby. Dancing like this, like a real cool old lady.

0:19:26 Brennan: Misty, you're having a ball, 'cos you're just holding court and making someone else's wedding kind of about yourself.

0:19:32 Ally: The only one who's invited.

0:19:32 Kugrash: Are you wearing white?

0:19:35 Misty: It's an off-white! It's a cream.

0:19:38 Pete: It's pretty, it's glowing.

0:19:40 Misty: I would never be so rude!

0:19:42 Ricky: It's a beautiful dress.

0:19:43 Misty: It's traditional in my family to wear lace to other people's weddings.

0:19:49 Brennan: Who got, some people got?

0:19:50 Zac: 18 over here.

0:19:50 Emily: I got 21.

0:19:52 Murph: 23.

0:19:52 Ally: I didn't roll.

0:19:54 Brennan: Go ahead.

0:19:54 Ally: I don't think I'm very perceptive.

0:19:55 Brennan: Not perceptive, that's totally fine. So, with an 18, what's Ricky up to at the reception?

0:20:00 Zac: Ricky kind of tracked down the snacks, and he was also, when they started dancing, just was very curious about that image, of—

0:20:07 Brennan: Honed in on that. For those who got above a 20, as you guys are just hanging out here, you all begin to notice a lot of different stuff. Kugrash and Kingston, you guys basically notice that there are a lot of different kinds of people here. In addition to fae, you see that Rourke Redcap is here. Who's one head of the faerie mafia. There's some domovoi that are like Russian fairies that are over in a corner. There's the band, who seems to be some water nixie spirit. The consigliere, Greg Prickthorn is here as well. You also are looking around. Are you guys looking for anything in particular, or are you just having a good time?

0:20:50 Murph: I think Kugrash is a little concerned about his friend Ronald Pigeon and the other pigeons getting offed by these pixies.

0:20:58 Brennan: Cool.

0:20:58 Murph: So, I'm looking to see if anybody's like—

0:20:59 Lou: I'm thinking more about how all the different things are adding up. So I think there's just a head on a swivel, looking for more weird stuff.

0:21:07 Brennan: Gotcha, cool. Kug, you see that Perry comes over to you and says.

0:21:13 Perry the Pigeon: Hi! Looks like the dancing's getting started right up in earnest!

0:21:16 Kugrash: Yeah, very.

0:21:20 Perry the Pigeon: Care to shake a tail-feather?

0:21:22 Kugrash: Yeah, we can dance, yeah.

0:21:24 Murph: I start doing my dance with Perry. I just have a little dance.

0:21:28 Kugrash: Ah, Perry, how have the pixies been treating you?

0:21:33 Perry the Pigeon: Oh, they put out so many crumbs! They're such good friends.

0:21:34 Kugrash: Yeah?

0:21:36 Perry the Pigeon: So good to see Ronald, you know. We were all worried for a little while 'cos they have that whole thing with Jessica Pigeon and that was sorta weird for a while.

0:21:44 Kugrash: What was up with Jessica Pigeon?

0:21:46 Perry the Pigeon: Oh, y'know, one of those things where they met in college and they sort of fell into a pattern. And then they got off and sorta changed as people, But it was kinda like, good money after that. They'd already sunk so much time into the relationship that as they became more and more incompatible it just didn't seem to make sense any more. And all of our friends, you know. Nobody wants to be that first person to cross the river, to sort of mention, Hey, you guys fight more than you get along! So maybe you should think about packin' it in! You're still in your early 20s, you know. You could actually find another partner, go out and date around. But it just seemed to be that kinda thing where routine and habit, and every day it gets harder against the weight of all the previous experiences to break out of a bad pattern. It's when you're codependent—

0:22:24 Ally: I stuff a Xanax in his mouth as I pass by.

0:22:28 Siobhan: So much Xanax in one pigeon! Perry the Pigeon takes a xanny.

0:22:33 Ally: It was a quarter, it was a quarter of a bar, don't worry.

0:22:40 Perry the Pigeon: [cooing sedately] Wow.

0:22:41 Pete: I'm sorry if I fucked that up.

0:22:43 Perry the Pigeon: Wow.

0:22:44 Kugrash: How does Jessica feel about this wedding?

0:22:48 Perry the Pigeon: So loose. So loose. Everything's good.

0:22:54 Kugrash: She's… You're just good?

0:22:56 Perry the Pigeon: I'm good.

0:22:58 Pete: I'm so sorry, dude. I thought I was helping you! I'm sorry!

0:23:04 Kugrash: That's the most I've ever gotten out of Perry!

0:23:06 Pete: Oh, fuck!

0:23:06 Kugrash: Perry was so perceptive!

0:23:10 Ally: I got some uppers too if you want to try to counterbalance this.

0:23:14 Sofia: Oh my god, don't make a little cocktail in this tiny creature's body!

0:23:17 Kugrash: You know, why don't we give him a lot of coffee?

0:23:20 Pete: Oh, I got some coffee. I know just what you need.

0:23:24 Perry the Pigeon: Hey man. Hey, man, you're beautiful.

0:23:25 Kugrash: Hey, you're beautiful too. Perry, you're great.

0:23:27 Perry the Pigeon: You're beautiful. Can you fly?

0:23:29 Kugrash: Uh, nope.

0:23:31 Pete: Here's an upper, just give him that.

0:23:33 Perry the Pigeon: I'm flying right now. On the ground, first time. Okay, I'm gonna take a walk. I can't be in here any more.

0:23:41 Kugrash: Godspeed, Perry! Take your drugs back!

0:23:45 Perry the Pigeon: I can't be around all these people!

0:23:46 Kugrash: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, man.

0:23:48 Brennan: Perry leaves. [fluttering wings]

0:23:50 Brennan: Sofia also got a high perception check. What's Sofia on the lookout for?

0:23:53 Emily: Okay, well, Sofia is definitely not in her right mind because she was witnessing a happy marriage and it's giving her flashbacks and making her think of Dale. So I think, but possibly whatever she got from Pete is helping her to focus on intellectual things rather than emotional things. The fact that Mario was here is on her mind.

0:24:20 Brennan: Gotcha, so she's on the bead for how and why Mario got here, and what the deal was.

0:24:25 Emily: Yeah, I think she's scanning. But then something will catch her eye and she'll be like,

0:24:28 Sofia: Oh my god. [strained] It's the same table runner color as ours was. Sofia, get it together.

0:24:34 Brennan: With a 21, you notice that the pixies partially recognize you. A couple of them make a look, not in a threatening or intimidating way, but in a way of, oh they must know your family.

0:24:46 Emily: He did know my last name.

0:24:47 Brennan: Knew your last name, exactly. After the bride dance, you see they announce the father-daughter dance. You see Don Confetti dancing with Angela. You see him there, she goes like,

0:24:59 Angela Confetti: [very high, squeaky] Oh Daddy! It's so special on my special day!

0:25:02 Brennan: He goes,

0:25:02 Don Confetti: Angela, light of my life. Wind under my little butterfly wings. I love you so much. I don't know why you had to marry a pigeon. But know this. If he ever crosses you, he'll be sleeping with the fishes. And by fishes, I mean pigeons. They die all the time. They really do die all the time. They're not very smart or good at surviving.

0:25:26 Brennan: She says,

0:25:26 Angela: I love you, Daddy!

0:25:28 Brennan: They just float around a little bit. After that, you see that Angela is actually over near you getting a little drink for herself. And catching a little moment. And as she flies past she turns over to you in her little white, it looks like white leaves that have been glued, a very form-fitting little pixie dress. She looks over—

0:25:49 Sofia: David's Bridal?

0:25:51 Angela: How did you know?

0:25:51 Sofia: Oh, I tried that one on. Honestly, I do not have the figure to pull it off like you, though. You look fantastic.

0:25:57 Angela: I'm not surprised you don't have the figure to pull it off. You're about a hundred times bigger than I am!

0:26:03 Sofia: Well, yeah, you must've had to get that sized down. A lot.

0:26:06 Angela: Yeah. It was really expensive. My dad paid for it, but it's okay, 'cos he's a very successful businessman.

0:26:12 Sofia: Yeah, well, congratulations on your wedding day. Marriage is a beautiful thing.

0:26:16 Angela: Oh, my god, that's so sweet of you to say! Thank you so much.

0:26:18 Sofia: Yeah.

0:26:19 Angela: Love your hair, by the way.

0:26:19 Sofia: Thank you, I do it myself. I know, it's crazy, a lot of aestheticians don't actually work on their self, but I do. Um, so yeah, I don't know, congratulations. Where are you guys gonna honeymoon?

0:26:33 Angela: Well, there's a lot of rooftops in the city that have a lot of crumbs on 'em, so that's where Ronald's interested in going.

0:26:38 Sofia: What about you? I mean, your honeymoon shouldn't just be something that's so specifically for your husband.

0:26:44 Angela: I think he'll end up going probably anywhere, but every time I've asked, he only mentions these rooftops with crumbs on 'em.

0:26:50 Sofia: Oh, okay, well you should definitely look into, you know. Puerto Vallarta.

0:26:56 Angela: Really?

0:26:56 Sofia: Yeah.

0:26:57 Angela: I heard a lot of people were going to Tulum.

0:27:00 Sofia: [about the cry] No, Puerto Vallarta's the most beautiful honeymoon you could ever go on.

0:27:05 Angela: My god, sweetheart, are you okay?

0:27:07 Sofia: Yeah, I'm fine.

0:27:09 Angela: All right, well, it's my day, so if you're gonna cry, go outside.

0:27:11 Sofia: Yeah, absolutely.

0:27:13 Brennan: You see that she flies away. Yes.

0:27:16 Ally: I have a quick question, was that a Wisdom-saving throw that we did?

0:27:19 Brennan: It was.

0:27:20 Ally: Okay, I do get advantage on Wisdom-saving throws. Across the board for my Plug bracelet. [holds up the card]

0:27:25 Brennan: Oh, hell yeah, great.

0:27:26 Ally: So it isn't Dual Soul, but yeah. So I'm at like a 20 or something like that.

0:27:29 Brennan: Cool, cool, cool.

0:27:30 Ally: I think I'm just trying to sell drugs again.

0:27:33 Brennan: Pete, you actually, a guy comes over to you. One of the dryads who's been helping out, almost like a hostess here. Comes over and says,

0:27:40 Dryad: Uh, are you the plug?

0:27:43 Pete: Yeah. The dryad tilts their head towards something.

0:27:45 Brennan: And points over to a table on the corner. This table appears to have humans at it. A bunch of humans. They're wearing very formal black suits. You see there's about three guys in black suits. They look very good-looking, pale. Sort of like sharp, predatory-looking people. There's one woman there who's got a pencil skirt and a black suit top. And you see that there's a much older man, who has that vibe that very old businessmen have sometimes of being made of granite. Just in how still and assured he is. There's another young woman there with them who's wearing a much more colorful gown and looks a lot more flush, younger. Maybe early 20s. Her mascara is running a little bit as though she's been crying. And you see that the dryad directs you over to their table.

0:28:50 Ally: Great. I put on my game face.

0:28:58 Pete: Beautiful night.

0:29:00 Brennan: The old man speaks. You see the other younger people nod their head at you. The young woman doesn't make any eye contact with you at all. The older fella looks at you and says,

0:29:12 Businessman: [low, very raspy] Beautiful night is right. Well, we're out here, aren't we? Enjoying New York in the winter. Nights get long, and you can't see the stars but you can feel them out there.

0:29:22 Pete: Yeah, totally, great party. I'm having a great time. You guys having a good time?

0:29:27 Businessman: We could be having a better time.

0:29:29 Pete: Agree, what can I get you?

0:29:31 Businessman: Well, I think we'll take, let's say, a brick of your finest snow, my young man.

0:29:40 Pete: Great, all right.

0:29:44 Emily: Don't accidentally give them the cremated remains.

0:29:47 Ally: I'm digging through and trying to separate the full-on ashes.

0:29:51 Pete: [under his breath] Okay, they're all in really dark bags. Okay,

0:29:57 Ally: I pull out an insane amount of blow.

0:30:02 Brennan: You see that the guy nods to one of the younger people at the table. And this young man hands you crisp, fresh from the bank notes.

0:30:11 Ally: Cool, I don't count them. I just am like, oh yeah.

0:30:13 Brennan: Puts them away. You see that the young woman looks up a little bit. The other woman, very slim and again, all business-looking. Takes the brick, cuts it open with one of her nails and begins to do out some lines, not in front of herself but in front of the young woman at the table. You see that the older man looks up and says,

0:30:42 Businessman: Care to do some with us?

0:30:44 Pete: I would love to, man.

0:30:45 Ally: And as I do that, can I cast Subtle Spell with Detect Thoughts on this person by using a sorcery point?

0:30:52 Brennan: Ooh. Hell yes.

0:30:52 Murph: That's awesome.

0:30:54 Ally: Okay, so Subtle Spell I don't have to move anything and no-one can tell?

0:30:59 Brennan: You do not, you don't move your hands. Nobody can tell you're casting a spell.

0:31:01 Siobhan: Oh my god, that's so sick.

0:31:01 Emily: That is awesome.

0:31:04 Brennan: Hell yeah. Rad. I gotta roll some saves.

0:31:13 Siobhan: Does that mean they don't have a chance to save against it? 'Cos they don't know it's happening?

0:31:17 Brennan: They do still save against it.

0:31:19 Emily: And this is, are you casting on the girl that they're giving coke to?

0:31:24 Ally: The crying one, yeah.

0:31:24 Siobhan: That's a lot of dice.

0:31:27 Ally: Fuck.

0:31:33 Brennan: Your sense of curiosity begins to move through. You completely glide over all of the people at the table dressed in black, including the old man, but the mind of the young woman opens up to you. You feel yourself split between reading her thoughts and the desire to go deeper. So you can either read just her surface thoughts or you could choose to go deeper. If you go deeper, it's gonna require active effort and might fuck up you talking to these guys at the table and give them a chance to notice.

0:32:11 Ally: True, okay. Can I stay in surface thoughts right now while doing lines with them and then wait until—

0:32:15 Brennan: Absolutely. You feel the young woman's surface thoughts are going: [somber music]

0:32:23 Melissa: It's not too much longer. It's not too much longer. It's just another year. All you need is another year. You're gonna get out of this. You know other people that have done this and they're all fine. They got what they needed.

0:32:38 Brennan: You see that the old man looks up at you and says,

0:32:43 Businessman: Well, after you, my good man.

0:32:47 Ally: Great, I do an insanely long line.

0:32:50 Brennan: He looks at you and says,

0:32:50 Businessman: Jesus Christ! You got a nose on you, kid! What are you, half elephant, my god.

0:32:57 Pete: Nah, I just do, it's such a great night. What do you guys do? You're posted in the corner. Why aren't you out there mingling?

0:33:03 Businessman: Ah, you know, I'm an associate of Don Confetti. Old business partners. I wouldn't want to take up space on the dance floor. Besides, I got two left feet as it is.

0:33:15 Pete: Yeah, definitely, you're telling me. You seem like a sports guy. You play anything?

0:33:19 Businessman: Do I play any sports? I used to play stick ball back in the day, but that was a long time ago.

0:33:27 Pete: Very cool, very cool.

0:33:30 Brennan: He looks over at you and says,

0:33:30 Businessman: How about yourself? What's your name, friend?

0:33:33 Pete: Ah, I'm Jeffrey. [holds out a hand to shake]

0:33:33 Rob: [shakes] Jeffrey? Rob. Nice to meet you.

0:33:36 Pete: Great to meet you too.

0:33:38 Brennan: He looks over at you and says, so.

0:33:41 Rob: I imagine you're gonna be writing this wedding off on your taxes, huh? [laughs]

0:33:47 Pete: [laughs] Absolutely, yeah, yeah. You know what, I heard they're trying to pass some law that's gonna hike up the tax rate for people who are… You know, I believe in trickle-down theory, don't you?

0:34:01 Brennan: You look, by the way, and he says,

0:34:03 Rob: Trickle down?

0:34:04 Brennan: He goes,

0:34:04 Rob: Trickle down? Reagan was a genius.

0:34:05 Pete: Right, right?

0:34:07 Rob: Reagan was a genius.

0:34:07 Ally: I get him. I'm trying to get him so hyped up on this, and then.

0:34:12 Rob: That man, I mean, what he did for this country.

0:34:14 Ally: I go for the deeper thoughts. [cast laughing]

0:34:21 Brennan: You go to her deeper thoughts. As you go to her deeper thoughts, you see that she starts doing lines off the table. The other three young men, the other young woman at the table, who are all very pale, watch her do lines by herself. All of them start to tap their fingers. As you go deeper into her thoughts, you see other instances of her going out with these guys, doing drugs, the people surrounding her. Fang distending from their mouth, sinking their fangs into her and drinking her blood. Not enough to kill her, but getting her high enough that they can get a high off of drinking her blood.

0:35:04 Ally: Okay.

0:35:05 Brennan: By the way, you do not see the old man drinking blood from her. You see, he looks at you and says,

0:35:15 Rob: Reagan, he was great. I mean, I never voted for him, 'cos I'm not a big voting guy. But I donated like crazy to his campaign.

0:35:25 Brennan: Go ahead, first of all, give me a wild magic roll for that Detect Thoughts.

0:35:27 Murph: Oh, no.

0:35:30 Ally: Two.

0:35:30 Brennan: Uh-oh! Now it's one and two. Now it's one and two.

0:35:34 Ally: Argh!

0:35:38 Brennan: Could you also be kind enough to give me a Deception check?

0:35:43 Ally: Oh, cool, I think I have good deception. Yeah, I have plus 8. 19 with, what was Deception? I do plus these? Oh, yeah, that's 27.

0:35:55 Brennan: Woo! Rad. So you see, yeah. He talks to you a while longer. After the girl's done a couple lines, you see that she looks around. Makes eye contact with you as her eyes well up with tears. Stands up and walks outside with the other four, and it's just you and the old man, Rob, who are here. You see he looks over at you and says,

0:36:21 Rob: Well, thanks again for being Johnny on the spot here. And what was it again?

0:36:27 Pete: Jeffrey.

0:36:27 Rob: Jeffrey, right. [winks, laughs] Wouldn't wanna say your real name or bubbles'd come out of my mouth, huh? [winks]

0:36:40 Ally: [moment of shock, looks around] Help. I laugh, I do not let him know that that registered with me. I’m like,

0:36:46 Pete: Sure buddy.

0:36:48 Ally: And then I walk away.

0:36:51 Brennan: Cool.

0:36:51 Ally: Nauseous.

0:36:54 Brennan: Rad. What does Pete do as he walks away?

0:36:57 Ally: I'm trying to find Kingston.

0:37:00 Brennan: Cool, you go over to Kingston. Kingston's head's on a swivel, you're looking around. You've clocked Pete having this interaction.

0:37:05 Lou: Do I recognize this man?

0:37:07 Brennan: You don't recognize this man.

0:37:09 Lou: Okay.

0:37:11 Kingston: Pete, what's going on?

0:37:11 Pete: What the fuck? Okay, we have to talk, bro. We can't talk here.

0:37:15 Kingston: Okay, you wanna dance?

0:37:18 Pete: Yeah. Of course I do!

0:37:24 Kingston: Great, we can dance and talk.

0:37:25 Ally: So, we're dancing.

0:37:25 Misty: Come on, dance!

0:37:28 Pete: Oh, this is perfect. Okay, dude, do you see those crazy people over there?

0:37:33 Kingston: [doing the Cabbage Patch dance] Yeah.

0:37:34 Pete: So, you know the girl who looked really sad?

0:37:37 Kingston: [doing the robot] Uh-huh.

0:37:38 Pete: Okay, I detected her thoughts. It seems like those other three really pale people with her are vampires.

0:37:42 Kingston: Okay.

0:37:44 Pete: They make her do a bunch of drugs and then they suck her blood to get high off of her.

0:37:47 Kingston: Okay, that's not that crazy.

0:37:49 Pete: No, the fuckin' crazy thing is—

0:37:50 Kingston: Hey, keep dancing.

0:37:50 Pete: This isn't dance? All right, [dancing] so you know that older guy?

0:37:58 Kingston: Uh-huh.

0:37:59 Pete: I think that that was maybe my dad.

0:38:01 Kingston: What?

0:38:01 Pete: I'm not sure what happened. Something fucking happened--

0:38:04 Kingston: I've never seen that man before.

0:38:05 Pete: Okay, my dad is a motherfucking dickhead. And he [laughs] he said [stammering] someone helped me by making bubbles come out of his mouth and taking him away.

0:38:18 Kingston: So he knew what you had done to your father?

0:38:22 Pete: This old guy knew what had happened to my dad.

0:38:26 Kingston: [doing the wave] Have you told anyone else about your dad?

0:38:27 Pete: I don't know, who have I… No, I think I told Alejandro about what happened to my dad, I think? I'm not sure. Do you guys remember me telling this story about my dad and the bubbles?

0:38:37 Kingston: I don't think we've heard this before.

0:38:38 Misty: It's cool though, gotta say. If you can teach me that trick, that's cool, I would do that.

0:38:43 Pete: [dancing] I think I told you guys, because then someone was like, we can kill him if you want. And I said yeah, please go ahead and kill my dad.

0:38:52 Kingston: Somebody in your head?

0:38:54 Pete: Yeah, whoever Lazarus is, someone evil did this to me, and I let        them.

0:39:01 Kingston: Okay, I don't like this man in the corner. Misty, you got any thoughts? [doing the wave]

0:39:05 Misty: No, I don't know.

0:39:05 Kingston: I don't know how I feel--

0:39:07 Ally: Is he still there? Can I look over and see if he's still there?

0:39:10 Misty: I feel like I would know everybody at this wedding…

0:39:11 Kingston: Yeah, exactly.

0:39:14 Brennan: You see that he's now speaking, he's talking to Don Confetti over in the corner. They're kind of chatting and laughing with each other.

0:39:22 Pete: [gasps loudly] Dude, dude, okay. So, I dunno if this is crazy, okay.

0:39:25 Kingston: [while dancing, chastising] Pete. Pete.

0:39:28 Pete: He, okay, I've got to keep dancing. [putting his hands up] So, what I think happened is, you guys know how we keep hearing Lazarus is like, "I'm leaving today.”

0:39:36 Kingston: Uh-huh. You keep hearing it and keep telling us about it.

0:39:41 Pete: But anyway! So my dad got carried away because he was a piece of shit, and I was fine with it, but what if this Lazarus guy took over his soul or something? And then used that fountain to, like, clean it? Something happened with that fountain and cleaning bad people.

0:39:55 Kingston: I dunno. Misty, do you wanna use your connections with Don Confetti to go over, have him introduce you to this man?

0:40:01 Misty: That's a great idea.

0:40:01 Kingston: Try something like that.

0:40:04 Brennan: Checking in with the other people at the wedding, what are you guys up to?

0:40:06 Murph: I guess we'll go join these. We see the whole group.

0:40:08 Emily: I'm wasted and trying to start a conga line. But no-one understands what I'm doing.

0:40:14 Ally: They're all so small!

0:40:14 Murph: In that case, I grab Sofie.

0:40:17 Kugrash: Sofie, you doin' okay?

0:40:18 Emily: I'm trying to start a conga line, but with their heads.

0:40:19 Zac: I'm dancing with my date. She's just sort of on my chest.

0:40:28 Brennan: This buff, hot firefighter with a pigeon on his chest?

0:40:31 Siobhan: It's like my necklace.

0:40:33 Emily: I'm gonna snap a picture of that and send it to the girls at the salon, and be like, Mr. March has a girlfriend!

0:40:41 Zac: But dancing towards them, yeah.

0:40:43 Siobhan: I go over to that table, and I'm like,

0:40:45 Misty: Don, who's your friend?

0:40:47 Siobhan: And I do that old old lady creep, arm around the waist on this guy.

0:40:53 Brennan: Cool, make a Persuasion check for me, if you'd be so kind.

0:40:56 Siobhan: I would love to.

0:40:59 Sofia: Can we say that you guys filled us in on what you're talking about?

0:41:02 Ally: Yeah.

0:41:02 Brennan: And if you could make that check with disadvantage.

0:41:05 Siobhan: All right, that was a 16. And this is a 13, so 23.

0:41:10 Brennan: 23, cool. You slide your arm around the guy. Feels like a human dude. Older, middle aged kind of human guy. You see that Don Confetti says,

0:41:24 Don Confetti: Oh, Misty Moore. I'm surprised you have not already met my friend Robert. Robert, please say hi to Misty.

0:41:31 Brennan: You see this guy Robert turns to you and says,

0:41:33 Robert: Ah, Miss Moore. It's a pleasure to meet you.

0:41:36 Misty: Charmed, I'm sure!

0:41:37 Siobhan: And I give him my hand like this.

0:41:39 Brennan: Kisses your hand. You see that Don says,

0:41:44 Don Confetti: Misty is, of course, a very accomplished stage actress. She is very famous.

0:41:51 Brennan: You see that Robert nods and says,

0:41:53 Robert: I've seen some of your performances. What a knockout.

0:41:56 Misty: Thank you so much, it's always great to meet… I don't even like the word fan, but people who enjoy my work. You know, we live in a city of artists. That's why we're here, you know? It's so important to experience so many of the things in the city that people miss out on. So what do you do?

0:42:16 Robert: Oh, I work in finance. I'm a friend of the Don's.

0:42:20 Misty: Oh, fantastic. You know, finance is also a great hub of the city. Artists, we wouldn't be able to survive without the finance guys. I mean, all of us would love to buy into this starving artist myth, where you have to be starving to make art. But let's be realistic. When you have a nice bed, everything's a little easier. You know what I mean?

0:42:41 Robert: And I doubt you've been starving for some time, Miss Moore.

0:42:45 Misty: Well, you know, starving is relative. Broke is relative, you know what I mean? But I do fine, I do fine.

0:42:51 Robert: Mmm, I'm sure.

0:42:54 Brennan: You see he looks over. The vampires and the young girl, who now is bone pale and having a hard time standing. They come out wiping their mouths. Sit back down, and Robert looks over at you and says,

0:43:10 Robert: Well, you'll have to excuse me. It looks like the other vampires have come back.

0:43:16 Brennan: And he turns around and walks away from you.

0:43:19 Misty: It's been a pleasure!

0:43:21 Brennan: Don looks over and says,

0:43:23 Don Confetti: Yes, it has been a pleasure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and verbally harass the DJ because he is playing a bunch of duds and these songs, they are too hard to dance to. I will be right back.

0:43:37 Misty: Don, you've gotta come dance with me though. [does a strange, jerky dance]

0:43:40 Don Confetti: I will do what I can. But know this, I only do this because you have asked this favor of me on the day of my daughter's wedding.

0:43:48 Brennan: And he zips away.

0:43:52 Siobhan: Did I use up my favor? I could've had anything in the world.

0:43:56 Emily: Can I… I've heard that something's gone on with this girl. It looks really predatory, her surrounded by these dudes and her looking faint. I think as a woman in her 30s, I'm looking at her being like, I would like to try to help her out. I feel maternal towards her. So I'm gonna go over there and just say,

0:44:21 Sofia: I'm so sorry, I need help getting out of this dress to pee. D'you guys mind if I borrow this sweet girl? It's such a nightmare getting out of this dress to pee. So I need a friend in the bathroom.

0:44:38 Brennan: You see the young woman looks up at you and looks at the other people here and says,

0:44:42 Melissa: I'm so sorry, I'm fine, thank you.

0:44:45 Sofia: Oh, I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about me. And peeing, and...

0:44:50 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion check.

0:44:55 Emily: 10.

0:44:57 Brennan: You see that she looks and says,

0:44:59 Melissa: I'm fine thanks.

0:45:00 Brennan: Pete, are you still reading her mind?

0:45:02 Ally: Mm-hm. Or, well, am I?

0:45:04 Brennan: Yeah, I believe probably you are. You read in her mind that she actually doesn't want to leave the table. She feels afraid and shitty and fucked up but is also choosing to be here in some regard or another.

0:45:27 Ally: Okay, cool. I think I go up to Sof and I'm like,

0:45:32 Pete: Did I overhear you need some help in the bathroom?

0:45:36 Sofia: Yes.

0:45:37 Pete: They're gender-neutral at this wedding. I can go with you.

0:45:38 Sofia: Okay, great. That'd be so helpful, thank you so much. If you ever need a haircut, you have beautiful hair.

0:45:43 Emily: And I give her my business card.

0:45:44 Brennan: Can you give me a Deception check as well?

0:45:50 Emily: A 9.

0:45:54 Brennan: You see that Robert speaks up and says,

0:45:59 Robert: Now, forgive me for being blunt, but you folks aren't worried for the safety of my companion Melissa here, are you?

0:46:07 Sofia: Okay, I'm just gonna lay it out there. First off, I'm a little drunk, because I'm going through a divorce, and it's hard to be at a wedding. Second off, if I see a young woman surrounded by men who's looking a little sick to her stomach at a place where alcohol is being imbibed at an alarming rate, I'm gonna step in and make sure she didn't get roofied.

0:46:25 Brennan: You see he nods, looks around. He says,

0:46:29 Robert: Melissa, you're free to go. If you wanna go.

0:46:33 Brennan: She looks at him and says,

0:46:33 Melissa: don't wanna go.

0:46:35 Ally: I pop in like,

0:46:35 Pete: She looks like she's having a great time. You guys look like you're having a great time. Sofie...

0:46:40 Sofia: Sorry! I just wanted to make sure someone didn't get roofied.

0:46:44 Pete: And we need more strong women like you.

0:46:47 Sofia: Thank you.

0:46:47 Pete: Right?

0:46:48 Sofia: Now will you help me get out of my dress so I can pee?

0:46:51 Pete: Yeah, of course!

0:46:53 Brennan: And Robert says,

0:46:55 Robert: While we're handing out business cards, Jeffrey, you ever wanna talk…

0:47:02 Brennan: You see he hands you a business card. His name doesn't appear on it, but it has a address and the name of a prominent hedge fund on it.

0:47:16 Ally: It doesn't say Robert?

0:47:16 Brennan: It does not say Robert.

0:47:18 Ally: Just hedge fund.

0:47:20 Brennan: It's like a business's business card. Doesn't have his name on it.

0:47:25 Siobhan: Do either of you have Detect Good and Evil?

0:47:28 Lou: I do not.

0:47:29 Zac: I mean, I have Protection from that.

0:47:31 Siobhan: Oh, you have Protection but not Detect.

0:47:32 Ally: I feel like I had that but I don't have it.

0:47:33 Murph: They're vampires. They're bad, right?

0:47:34 Zac: I'm still dancing.

0:47:37 Ally: I'm really triggered by the bubbles comment still, with my dad, and I'm just seething.

0:47:43 Brennan: Cool.

0:47:43 Ally: I don't know what I'm doing. But I know I'm angry.

0:47:46 Emily: That interaction shook me back into place. I'm no longer as upset about the wedding.

0:47:50 Ally: I'm explaining to you all the Detect Thought stuff on how she actually wanted to be there. So there's some sort of weird setup.

0:47:57 Brennan: Is Kugrash watching this?

0:47:57 Murph: Yeah. I think we're all kind of circled up. I think once these guys started dancing, I think we all kind of came together. And then over here. [eerie, ambient, piercing drone]

0:48:06 Brennan: Cool. You look at this guy Robert. You've met this guy before.

0:48:11 Ally: What?

0:48:15 Brennan: You met this guy a long time ago.

0:48:19 Murph: What do I know about him?

0:48:20 Brennan: You know that he's a very powerful, very dangerous guy who you only met in passing one time.

0:48:31 Murph: Okay. Does he know Gabriela? Brennan nods.

0:48:37 Murph: Okay.

0:48:37 Siobhan: Who's Gabriela?

0:48:39 Kugrash: Eh, you know, it doesn't matter. This guy is bad news.

0:48:47 Sofia: Okay, I have a theory. I have a theory based off of what Pete said. They're laundering souls and selling them to the soulless.

0:48:59 Ricky: What?

0:48:59 Kugrash: That's kind of brilliant.

0:49:01 Misty: That's so intense.

0:49:03 Sofia: That's what I think they're doing. They're stealing souls and then cleaning them in the Bethesda Fountain, and then selling them to people who don't have souls.

0:49:10 Kugrash: Like vampires.

0:49:10 Sofia: Like selling passports.

0:49:12 Kugrash: Yeah.

0:49:14 Ally: I'm so… I don't know if this is too ridey about this. But I think I'm so worked up about this Robert guy and he knows something about my dad, and I'm talking to them, and I'm like, that fucking guy knows something about my dad. And when I point, I activate True Strike. Is that possible?

0:49:31 Brennan: Awesome, yeah. That's great.

0:49:33 Ally: 'Cos I know it takes a whole turn.

0:49:34 Brennan: Roll wild magic for me.

0:49:34 Ally: Fuck, great. One and two?

0:49:36 Brennan: One and two, yeah.

0:49:39 Ally: Six.

0:49:39 Emily: Hey!

0:49:41 Kugrash: All right everybody. Let's get Pete, let's calm down.

0:49:43 Pete: Okay, all right.

0:49:43 Kugrash: Let's everybody--

0:49:44 Kingston: We about ready to go, right?

0:49:47 Sofia: We are depleted. We already had a battle today.

0:49:48 Misty: I could do a nap.

0:49:49 Murph: Does he look the same as he did back then?

0:49:51 Brennan: He does, yep.

0:49:51 Kugrash: He's a vampire.

0:49:54 Ricky: But in your story, you said you didn't see him drinking the blood. It was the other three.

0:50:02 Pete: Yeah, yeah, so this guy--

0:50:02 Sofia: To get high.

0:50:05 Pete: I think this guy--

0:50:06 Brennan: You guys are, by the way, talking very loudly at the wedding right now.

0:50:09 Kingston: Hey, everybody, why don't we go back to my place? All right?

0:50:11 Pete: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:50:13 Misty: Hey, macarena!

0:50:14 Ally: We grab her.

0:50:18 Brennan: You guys bounce—

0:50:19 Emily: As we leave, I just want to write a really long, really heartfelt, way too intimate thing in the wedding book.

0:50:27 Ally: The guestbook?

0:50:27 Zac: Take the wedding book.

0:50:29 Siobhan: Take it, take the wedding book!

0:50:30 Emily: Okay, well you guys can take me. I'm writing, I'm still writing in the wedding book.

0:50:34 Lou: Guys, don't get us killed for a wedding book.

0:50:35 Emily: No, I'm writing. I'm writing about the beauty of marriage.

0:50:40 Lou: Can I leave a $50 check as a gift?

0:50:42 Brennan: Absolutely, you may, yes.

0:50:46 Murph: I wanna just give a head-nod or a little salute to that guy to see how he reacts to me.

0:50:54 Brennan: He has no recognition of you at all and looks very confused.

0:50:57 Murph: Okay.

0:51:00 Siobhan: I leave a couple of tickets for opening night of "A Midsummer Night's Dream".

0:51:05 Kingston: You just carry those around?

0:51:07 Ally: Always be promoting.

0:51:08 Misty: Don’t you?

0:51:09 Murph: I add my name to her card.

0:51:13 Ally: A Kugrash paw.

0:51:16 Emily: I ask the wedding planner if there's another guestbook 'cos I've filled this one up.

0:51:22 Brennan: You guys proceed to bounce. You see that as you're all getting ready to leave, Perry comes over to you, Kugrash.

0:51:27 Perry the Pigeon: Hey, uh… What's going on?

0:51:30 Kugrash: Hey, we gotta head out. [sad piano music] Perry the Pigeon looks sadly down at the floor.

0:51:34 Kugrash: God damn it.

0:51:34 Murph: I kiss him. [Perry yelping excitedly, cooing and fluttering]

0:51:41 Ally: They're making out. We're like,

0:51:42 Pete: Kugrash, we gotta go.

0:51:44 Ricky: Incredible.

0:51:44 Sofia: Oh my god.

0:51:44 Siobhan: I have one more thing.

0:51:46 Emily: I adjust my contact so I can see better.

0:51:49 Kugrash: I know I'm leading him on, but I feel like we've got a short-term...

0:51:53 Kingston: Sometimes you've gotta do the nice thing, not the right thing.

0:51:54 Kugrash: Right, yeah.

0:51:58 Siobhan: Do vampires show up in photographs? 'Cos they don't show up in mirrors. Do vampires show up in photographs?

0:52:06 Brennan: I don't think think they show up in photographs, no.

0:52:08 Siobhan: Great, so can we take a selfie with the vampires and Robert in the background?

0:52:11 Brennan: Yes. [Emily cheering]

0:52:13 Ally: A photo booth photo? Oh yeah.

0:52:15 Murph: See if Robert's a vampire? That's brilliant.

0:52:17 Ricky: [composing a text] Esther, this is me at the wedding.

0:52:20 Pete: Don't send it to anyone!

0:52:21 Zac: And then I look at the picture.

0:52:24 Brennan: At that table, Melissa shows up, the young woman. And Robert shows up.

0:52:30 Ally: Okay, okay.

0:52:31 Emily: Oh, so he does show up!

0:52:33 Kingston: Okay, right, everybody. Back to my house, let's go.

0:52:35 Brennan: You guys dip, arriving back at Kingston's. [Map noise]

0:52:39 Brennan: What do you guys do when you get there?

0:52:40 Pete: Fuck that guy.

0:52:41 Misty: You think your mother has any cinnamon rolls baking, or some kind of—

0:52:44 Kingston: My mother?

0:52:45 Lou: What time is it?

0:52:46 Brennan: It's probably 11:00 at night.

0:52:48 Kingston: My mother should be in bed. I promise you, if I went down and asked for cinnamon rolls, she would wake up and cook them. But we're not doing that.

0:52:55 Ricky: Do you have any deli meats, or anything? I just sorta snacked on tiny pixie food.

0:53:00 Lou: What do I have in my— Let's see, I have a bunch of fresh vegetables. And can I make—

0:53:05 Brennan: You can make a big salad.

0:53:09 Lou: Yeah, I make a big salad. Lots of baby spinach. I chop up some tomatoes, some bell peppers.

0:53:18 Misty: You go to the farmers' market for this?

0:53:20 Kingston: Of course I go to the farmers' market! I'm all about celebrating, you know. I buy local.

0:53:23 Ally: I'm on your page. I start making some hummus in a food processor with you.

0:53:28 Lou: Yeah, we're all just cooking. We're all wet in nice clothes, cooking.

0:53:32 Sofia: I'm making eggplant rollatini.

0:53:36 Ally: Us three bumping elbows in the kitchen.

0:53:38 Misty: You go to Queens for this mozzarella? It's delicious.

0:53:40 Kingston: I mean, of course. Only the best.

0:53:44 Zac: Can I just as a precaution use Divine Sense to see if there's any...

0:53:47 Brennan: You scan the place, no. Kingston's apartment seems okay. You do detect a very strong undead presence on the top of the refrigerator.

0:53:56 Kingston: It's the mummy, all right? It's just the mummy, all right?

0:53:59 Kugrash: You have a mummy?

0:54:00 Sofia: Is this what the obsidian ankh is about?

0:54:02 Kingston: Yeah, it's from when we fought the mummy back in Long Island, you know?

0:54:06 Misty: Oh, darling, it was so much fun. The stories we have.

0:54:09 Kingston: Yeah, it was wild.

0:54:11 Pete: I have nightmares really easily. What, what...?

0:54:14 Kingston: Well, if you have nightmares easily, shouldn't we not tell you the scary thing we did?

0:54:17 Misty: Yah, let’s not tell him about the scary thing.

0:54:19 Kugrash: Yeah, guys--

0:54:21 Misty: Anyway, the Metropolitan Museum has so much fascinating stuff, and it's free! I mean, it's not free, it's suggested donation, but if you pay for the Metropolitan Museum, you're a goddamn fool.

0:54:31 Pete: The Met isn't free anymore. They changed it, it's $25.

0:54:34 Zac: I have my phone out, and I'm doing a little seven-minute workout.

0:54:37 Brennan: Great.

0:54:37 Kingston: Okay, great. Everybody's settled, we've got salad on the table. Eggplant rollatinis and fresh-made hummus. What's going on?

0:54:47 Kugrash: This guy, I know this guy from the 80s and he hasn't aged. So whether or not he's a vampire, he's somethin'.

0:54:57 Sofia: May I ask you, Misty? And before when I mentioned your age—

0:55:01 Ally: I'm doing this.

0:55:03 Sofia: Before, I was scolded at by a man who tried to snort human remains. So, you know, let's let that sit with everyone. But are you a vampire, or is there a way to be immortal that Ronald could be a...

0:55:16 Misty: Darling, I'm a faerie.

0:55:18 Sofia: So, is Ronald possibly a faerie?

0:55:22 Pete: Robert.

0:55:22 Sofia: Robert.

0:55:24 Misty: I mean, it's possible. But I have never met this man before in my life, and the faerie community in New York City is pretty tight. I mean, look, I'm friends with Don Confetti, and that guy's not a great dude, but he's one of my people, you know? You've gotta stick together.

0:55:34 Sofia: I see.

0:55:36 Kingston: Kugrash, I hate to pin it to you, man. But you know this guy from the 80s how?

0:55:43 Kugrash: [rubbing his hands together nervously] Ah, yeah, ah. He is… He hangs out around humans. I don't think he hangs out around this type. I think he hangs out in the real world.

0:55:54 Ricky: I feel like you're not telling us something.

0:55:56 Sofia: Yeah. In what context did you meet him? Did you, I don't know, get caught in a rat-trap in his apartment?

0:56:05 Misty: Oh, okay, let's not be rude.

0:56:06 Kugrash: Yeah, that's not—

0:56:06 Pete: Was that rude? I'm on your page now, sorry.

0:56:09 Sofia: Apparently.

0:56:12 Kingston: Kug, we're not trying to put you in a space you don't wanna be put in. But this seems to be something.

0:56:16 Kugrash: [quickly] I wasn't always a rat.

0:56:19 Kingston: [gasps] What?

0:56:19 Pete: What? [somber jazz music]

0:56:21 Kugrash: I wasn't, I wasn't always a rat.

0:56:24 Pete: You chose to be a rat?

0:56:24 Kugrash: I didn't. From what?

0:56:27 Ricky: Were you like, a parrot or a turtle?

0:56:29 Kugrash: No, I was a human. I was a guy.

0:56:29 Kingston: What?

0:56:30 Misty: What?

0:56:33 Kingston: You were a dude named Kugrash?

0:56:35 Misty: That is exactly what my question was!

0:56:38 Kingston: Who names their child Kugrash?

0:56:40 Kugrash: My name is not...

0:56:42 Ricky: Were you, like, a stockbroker?

0:56:44 Kugrash: Yeah.

0:56:44 Ricky: Really?

0:56:46 Sofia: What was your name? What'd your name used to be?

0:56:49 Kugrash: My name, my real name, is Bruce.

0:56:51 Kingston: What?

0:56:54 Sofia: Bruce what?

0:56:54 Kugrash: Kugrich.

0:56:56 Emily: Okay, can I go on Google and search Bruce Kugrich?

0:57:01 Brennan: Uh, yeah go ahead and make a Investigate check.

0:57:04 Kingston: This is huge for me right now!

0:57:06 Pete: This is crazy.

0:57:06 Kingston: I'm looking at a rat man that used to be a full man named Bruce.

0:57:10 Pete: And he's wearing a crown.

0:57:10 Emily: I got a 4! Is there another Bruce Kugrich?

0:57:15 Brennan: There's an extremely successful movie horse breeder named Bruce Kugrich out in Los—

0:57:21 Ally: Horse breeder!

0:57:23 Brennan: He breeds horses for movies, show horses.

0:57:25 Emily: I show everyone.

0:57:27 Sofia: Oh my god, you breeded horses?

0:57:29 Kingston: That's why you're so good with animals! This all makes sense!

0:57:31 Ricky: How d'you get into that kind of job? It has to be your parents or something, right?

0:57:36 Misty: Family job, right? Horse-breeding? Movie horse-breeding?

0:57:37 Pete: Wow.

0:57:40 Kugrash: Point is, I'm Kugrash now, but I knew this man in my old life.

0:57:47 Pete: Look, I'm a drug dealer, man. It's fine, just tell us everything about who you used to be and how you knew this guy.

0:57:54 Sofia: Yeah.

0:57:56 Kugrash: Y'know, that part of my life is behind me, I wasn't--

0:57:57 Misty: Look, darling. We've all had different lives. Let me tell you about my good friend John Wilkes Booth. He was a fabulous actor.

0:58:08 Kingston: That's a big drop.

0:58:08 Misty: Fabulous!

0:58:11 Kugrash: I'll say it wasn't as bad as John Wilkes Booth.

0:58:14 Ricky: If we're all admitting secrets, I wasn't always a firefighter. Brennan absolutely loses it, snickering.

0:58:21 Ricky: I was in high school, and then after high school I became a firefighter.

0:58:24 Misty: That's not a secret. That's just a normal life.

0:58:25 Kingston: You lived, is what you're saying.

0:58:27 Sofia: Two phases, high school and then firefighter? Or are you leaving something out?

0:58:30 Ricky: And then firefighter. And community college for a year and a half.

0:58:34 Brennan: You get a text on your phone, Ricky, from Esther. It says,

0:58:37 Esther: At Clinton Hill Chantry with Alejandro. We may have found something. Are you with Pete?

0:58:45 Zac: Text,

0:58:45 Ricky: That's awesome. With Pete right now. How are you? Yeah, sorry, go ahead.

0:58:55 Brennan: The text back says,

0:58:55 Esther: If all of you guys are there, you should come here at your nearest convenience. You can come tonight if you need to, or tomorrow.

0:59:06 Misty: I mean, I'm pretty tired.

0:59:07 Kingston: I just made this big salad.

0:59:10 Sofia: Honestly, I've got so much rollatini in me.

0:59:13 Ricky: I'm worried. We can go tonight or tomorrow, but, I don't know, I have a bad feeling.

0:59:24 Pete: Yeah, I kinda do too.

0:59:25 Kugrash: Let's go.

0:59:25 Sofia: All right, let's go.

0:59:26 Kugrash: Let's go tonight.

0:59:27 Pete: Salad and hummus and rollatini to go?

0:59:30 Sofia: I'll get the Tupperware!

0:59:32 Brennan: Cool, it's midnight. You guys hop on the subway to head all the way to--

0:59:37 Ally: I'm hopped up on coke, so.

0:59:37 Emily: Yeah.

0:59:40 Ally: I'm good to go.

0:59:40 Brennan: You guys get on the train, you're heading out. [train clattering on tracks]

0:59:44 Brennan: It's a long ride from here to Brooklyn.

0:59:46 Emily: Can we take a short rest on the train?

0:59:48 Brennan: Absolutely, you can all take a short rest on the train.

0:59:51 Ally: I'm listening to The Prodigy.

0:59:54 Lou: I just keep stealing looks at Kugrash trying to imagine what he looked like as a man. Did he have a big beard?

1:00:03 Ricky: I have an app that can give people makeup and stuff like that.

1:00:06 Sofia: Yeah, let's do that.

1:00:08 Kugrash: No, I wasn't, I wasn't two feet tall—

1:00:08 Ricky: Just a smooth ball on him.

1:00:14 Sofia: Oh my god, he's so handsome.

1:00:14 Ricky: He looked like this.

1:00:16 Pete: Wow!

1:00:16 Kingston: Kugrash looks like a thug!

1:00:19 Sofia: Kug, your cheeks are so rosy.

1:00:21 Kugrash: Yeah, you know.

1:00:23 Sofia: Your jawline's so pronounced.

1:00:27 Brennan: Wonderful. [map noise]

1:00:28 Brennan: You guys arrive at the Clinton Hill Chantry. Ricky, you're very familiar with this space. You walk up, you see that Frank is there on the front of the door. You see he looks up and goes,

1:00:38 Frank: Ay, there, Ricky Matsui, how's it goin' bud?

1:00:41 Ricky: Uh, pretty good. We just came from a wedding, it was beautiful.

1:00:44 Frank: Oh, beautiful! Who got hitched?

1:00:45 Ricky: A pigeon and a little fairy.

1:00:48 Frank: Beautiful, I love it. Que bella.

1:00:50 Brennan: You see, he says,

1:00:54 Frank: Well, I bet you understand that Esther and Alejandro have been working their butts off in there, so. Oh, got a bunch of new friends. Hello, I'm Frank, I'm a gargoyle. I'm only a head, and I'm living on this door forever. So, that's about me.

1:01:06 Misty: How's it going, Frank? It's been a while.

1:01:07 Frank: Oh, Misty! It's good to see ya!

1:01:11 Misty: Good to see you, it's always good to see you, Frank.

1:01:14 Frank: Well, you look good, I gotta say. By the way, I wanted to mention something. You think you could get tickets for me to come see your show? I can't make it 'cos I'm stuck to this door but I'd just like, you know.

1:01:28 Misty: Oh, yeah, and you know, I was thinking. I have friends who've been looking for an actor to play the part of Jacob Marley's face in "A Christmas Carol"? And they've been looking high and low, and I was like, I know somebody who could do that. He's perfect for the part. So I can send your information along to them, if you would like.

1:01:47 Frank: Oh my god, would you do that?

1:01:49 Misty: Absolutely! For you, absolutely.

1:01:50 Frank: I can't believe it! Yeah, that'd be great! Jacob Marley, I wear the chains forged of life!

1:01:59 Misty: Through acts of greed, absolutely!

1:02:03 Ricky: Sounds like a play.

1:02:07 Brennan: [laughs] Frank is elated. You guys enter the Clinton Hall Chantry. Much smaller and less metaphysically intense space. This is just a three-story brownstone that is the same size on the inside as it is on the outside, for the most part. You guys walk in, you see the missing glass plane where the questing blade popped out. You walk into a large library room. This is one of those library rooms that it's books lining every single wall, and one of those giant tables. You know, it's like a study table that could fit 40 people at it. In the center, these [exhaling heavily] lamps shedding golden light over the table. You clearly see Alejandro and Esther, they did not sleep last night. They have not been asleep since. They've just been here, books all over the table everywhere, coffee cups everywhere. You see Alejandro's flat-cap is off. He's got his shirt rolled up. Esther's the same way, you see she's got a little thing of coffee in her hands. They both look up, Esther says,

1:03:05 Esther: Great, you're here. You made it, awesome. Great, great, great. We think we may have found something.

1:03:12 Brennan: Alejandro looks over and says,

1:03:15 Alejandro: And there I beheld him, an aspect of, no, sorry. Her. No, no, it. There, I beheld it, an aspect of a gray child that I had searched for for many long years. This being Nod, the realm and the being, monarch of the sixth borough. The child, the gray orphan, the spirit of the dreaming realm beyond the streets of the city I have known.

1:03:57 Sofia: So the dream world is the sixth borough. [Peter clearing throat]

1:04:01 Alejandro: This gray baby...

1:04:01 Ricky: Sorry, what is it called?

1:04:05 Alejandro: This gray baby.

1:04:05 Ricky: Oh.

1:04:08 Sofia: Sorry, one more time.

1:04:11 Alejandro: How many languages do you guys all speak?

1:04:13 Kingston: I speak some French.

1:04:13 Pete: Just English and some Spanish—

1:04:17 Sofia: Can't I just admire it and enjoy it?

1:04:19 Ally: Oh, I feel really bad, and I pull out--

1:04:21 Alejandro: I speak five different languages fluently. I have a bit of an accent. But this gray baby—

1:04:25 Pete: And it's true.

1:04:26 Ally: I hand him a bunch of Juul stuff that I grabbed when we were at home.

1:04:31 Alejandro: Oh, wow!

1:04:31 Pete: This one's cucumber picante. It's amazing, you're gonna fuckin' love it.

1:04:36 Alejandro: This is really good. Honestly, a lot of the flavors come with cucumber, but I'm into it, it's—

1:04:40 Kingston: [disapprovingly] Alejandro. What does that gray baby stuff mean?

1:04:46 Brennan: You see that he does a little Mage Hand thing and replaces the cell in the Juul. Puts it in and goes… [taking a drag]

1:04:49 Kingston: Alejandro, I hate this. You know I hate this. You know I hate this! You're gonna get popcorn lung. You're gonna get popcorn lung, and then what you gonna do about it?

1:04:57 Brennan: [bubbling] You see that it goes up, and he makes a little smoke Empire State Building with a King Kong on it, going like this, that floats away.

1:05:06 Pete: That's sick.

1:05:08 Ricky: Amazing.

1:05:08 Alejandro: It is sick, isn't it?

1:05:10 Pete: That's sick.

1:05:12 Alejandro: This gray baby is Nod, the gray orphan. This spirit is… to the degree that a realm of chaos, such as the realm of dream, can have order. Nod is the spirit of hope, and dreams. Nod is sometimes referred to as the monarch of the sixth borough. That you have met Nod is remarkable. Do you remember what the gray orphan said to you?

1:05:50 Ally: Uh, yeah, yeah. The gray orphan said a couple of different things. Once they said, "Everyone who ever came here had a dream." And, oh god. I didn't, I don't know what else they said.

1:06:07 Zac: What was that Lazarus thing?

1:06:08 Siobhan: I have something right here.

1:06:08 Ally: Well, Lazarus said—

1:06:09 Brennan: Esther speaks up and points at Ricky and says,

1:06:12 Esther: We, by the way, have been combing for Lazarus. The gray orphan is never referred to as Lazarus, any time we've been able to find any writings about anything happening.

1:06:20 Pete: I think they're different, yeah.

1:06:21 Misty: Heed the words of Lazarus before it's too late.

1:06:23 Brennan: Alejandro sort of twirls his mustache and says,

1:06:26 Alejandro: We have not found any reference to a Lazarus in the Dreaming.

1:06:33 Misty: But Lazarus is in the Bible. Could it be the biblical Lazarus? Raised from the dead?

1:06:38 Sofia: Raised from the dead. I have a question. So, the dream world is referred to as the sixth borough. Is there a time in history, Alejandro or Esther, where the dream world was more tangible and more accessible to the other five boroughs?

1:06:56 Brennan: You see that Esther nods and says,

1:06:59 Esther: The dream world becomes extremely active and tangible in the presence of the arrival of a Vox Phantasma.

1:07:13 Misty: Also you can take the L and go really far.

1:07:16 Esther: But you have to go all the way to the end.

1:07:18 Misty: Past Canarsie, it's long.

1:07:18 Sofia: Okay, I think I went to a Curves out there one time.

1:07:23 Pete: You can't do that any more.

1:07:23 Esther: And I think you can't do that on weekends right?

1:07:25 Pete: Yeah, or a night.

1:07:25 Misty: It's that weird, it's a shuttle bus situation.

1:07:26 Esther: Yeah. You can get a shuttle bus, but the shuttle bus can only be seen by the pure of heart, so it's hard.

1:07:32 Misty: It's a whole deal. But they do have these tiny little buns. I can't remember the name of them. Anyway it's worth the trip, but just.

1:07:41 Sofia: Dream buns?

1:07:42 Pete: The baby, do we know...

1:07:46 Brennan: Alejandro looks over at you and says,

1:07:49 Alejandro: The biblical Lazarus is not a bad place to guess. There are beings within the city that would have some knowledge of these things.

1:07:58 Sofia: What would happen if you raise someone from the dead? Would they have a soul, or would they been in need of a soul? Perhaps a laundered soul?

1:08:06 Brennan: See, Alejandro shrugs and says,

1:08:08 Alejandro: It depends on the manner of their raising.

1:08:11 Sofia: If they were raised by infernal, or perhaps nefarious means?

1:08:15 Alejandro: It is possible to consider this, yes. Kingston.

1:08:18 Kingston: Mm.

1:08:20 Alejandro: There are some beings in the city that are aware of such biblical things. I do not concern myself as much with religions. I deal with the study of the arcane. But I'm trying to think of people in the city that would—

1:08:34 Kingston: Oh, Willy?

1:08:35 Brennan: You see that he looks at you and says,

1:08:35 Alejandro: Willy?

1:08:38 Kingston: The golem.

1:08:40 Brennan: You see he says,

1:08:41 Alejandro: The golem of Williamsburg might know something, yes, this is very true. I think it would be wise… Peter, would you be amenable to perhaps going to sleep on the table here and allowing myself and Esther to keep a watch on you with our third eye while you venture into the Dreaming?

1:09:09 Pete: Sure.

1:09:11 Alejandro: That might be for the best. Something very strange is afoot.

1:09:15 Brennan: You see Esther looks up and says,

1:09:18 Esther: I don't think going to Willy's a bad idea. I think that makes sense.

1:09:21 Misty: Also, Bethesda Fountain has been compromised. We sent the angel down to Washington Square Park, so—

1:09:29 Pete: Oh yeah, we have, uh. I don't know if this is for you guys can use. But we have a bunch of ashes that we recovered of human remains.

1:09:36 Brennan: Esther takes those, nods.

1:09:38 Ally: One of 'em's cocaine, I made a mistake. But we don't know that.

1:09:42 Brennan: Esther takes them, says,

1:09:42 Esther: I'll take a look into this. For those of you that need to rest, you should go ahead and rest. Pete, if you want to stay with Alejandro.

1:09:50 Emily: I think I have to see my brother, maybe tomorrow. Did I say I was gonna see him tomorrow?

1:09:54 Brennan: You didn't specify a time.

1:09:55 Emily: Well, I'd like to see him, so I think I'm gonna head back to Staten Island.

1:09:59 Brennan: Cool, you head back to Staten Island. You're gonna stay in the Chantry. What's everybody else doing?

1:10:03 Murph: I wanna mention something to, I just wanna kind of pull Esther aside for a sec. And then be like,

1:10:06 Kugrash: Hey, I know this is kind of weird. But do you still see your mom? [sudden tense music] Do you talk to your mom? What's she up to?

1:10:17 Esther: How do you know about my mom?

1:10:21 Kugrash: Ah, we were friends a long time ago. Is she okay? What is--

1:10:25 Brennan: Make a Deception, or if you're trying to be deceptive.

1:10:32 Murph: [blows out a breath] I don't have… No, I don't need to be deceptive.

1:10:35 Kugrash: We were friends, but we're not friends any more.

1:10:39 Brennan: She looks at you and says,

1:10:40 Esther: I haven't seen my mom in a long time.

1:10:45 Kugrash: When was the last time you saw her?

1:10:50 Esther: [sighs] Probably when I was, I don't know. Five, six. Even before that she was in and out.

1:11:01 Kugrash: [nods, rubs his hands together] All right.

1:11:03 Zac: I walk up and pull out my phone. I'm like,

1:11:08 Ricky: Oh Esther. I was gonna send you this picture from the wedding. It was crazy, it was beautiful, but then we had to fight some rats or something. Uh, but do you guys recognize this guy? This old guy, in the picture?

1:11:27 Esther: I don't recognize him. But we can take a look.

1:11:31 Ricky: He was hanging out with some vampires.

1:11:33 Esther: Huh, all right. There's a lot of ground to cover. Ricky, d'you wanna stay here with me?

1:11:40 Ricky: Yeah. I mean, yes.

1:11:43 Esther: Awesome. It'd be good to have someone here in case anything goes down, because we don't know what's going to happen with Pete.

1:11:49 Brennan: Rest of you guys, it's getting late. You guys did have a full fight against the rat king, what are you guys up to?

1:11:56 Lou: I'm good to go. I can go see Willy right now.

1:11:59 Brennan: Cool, you're gonna head to Willy. You're going to Staten Island. Uh, Misty and Kugrash. What are you guys up to?

1:12:04 Siobhan: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to my apartment. I'm gonna probably call my show's director on the way and be like,

1:12:09 Misty: Look, yes, I know I'm missing rehearsal! But look, darling, I already know the steps. Do it without me! Give the understudy a chance to practice!

1:12:19 Murph: And I'll go to the tunnels.

1:12:22 Sofia: But I wanna let Kug know, if you wanna come...

1:12:23 Kugrash: I appreciate it. I gotta, yeah. I'm good.

1:12:27 Sofia: All right.

1:12:29 Brennan: Rad, you guys all split up, go back to your various places.

1:12:35 Siobhan: What was that fuckin Wisdom saving throw for? I'm still, like… Brennan chuckles.

1:12:38 Ally: Yeah, same. Who rolled poorly on it?

1:12:40 Zac: I got a one.

1:12:40 Ally: On the wisdom?

1:12:42 Zac: Or like a four and then a one, yeah.

1:12:44 Brennan: Let's see who's the closest to where they're headed. Well, Ricky, you're just staying here. So Ricky and Pete are staying at the Clinton Hill Chantry. You see that Alejandro says,

1:12:55 Alejandro: All right, we'll get a little pillow for you here, Peter. And we have some sleepy-time tea for you.

1:13:01 Pete: That's great, I was gonna ask for tea. That's so great.

1:13:02 Alejandro: Hey, sympatico, eh? There you go.

1:13:06 Brennan: And you see he says,

1:13:09 Alejandro: Now, be lulled into slumber.

1:13:12 Ally: I pull out Instagram. I'm like,

1:13:14 Pete: I'm gonna be up for another hour and a half.

1:13:16 Brennan: He says,

1:13:16 Alejandro: No, no, no. Be lulled into...

1:13:21 Brennan: One eye goes gold.

1:13:22 Alejandro: [forcefully] Slumber.

1:13:24 Ally: I am immune to sleep-related harm, would this be harm?

1:13:27 Brennan: You see that he stares and nothing happens to you. And he goes,

1:13:31 Alejandro: Okay, this is very embarrassing for me, because that always kinda works. Pete takes a sip of his tea and scrolls Instagram.

1:13:37 Ally: I'm just liking everything.

1:13:39 Alejandro: Okay, I'm gonna try a little harder. [strained] Ooh, go to sleep!

1:13:45 Brennan: And you see Esther says,

1:13:45 Esther: Let's leave him.

1:13:50 Brennan: Esther starts walking around with you in the chantry. This is, you're spending one-on-one time, just downtime with Esther. What's going on in Ricky's head right now?

1:13:58 Zac: Just like, you know. This is my shot, kind of. [romantic piano music]

1:14:05 Zac: She's so cool, and just thinking of trying to sound cool. So like,

1:14:09 Ricky: Yeah, there's a lot of books in here. I mean, I like to read too. We have some time in the fire station where I can knock out a book sometimes, so.

1:14:22 Brennan: You see she sort of smiles and says,

1:14:22 Esther: really?

1:14:25 Ricky: Yeah. If you have any recommendations for a… I mean, I guess I don't read a ton, if I'm being completely honest. I'm open to it.

1:14:34 Esther: Do you want one of these books, Ricky? Would these be fun for you?

1:14:35 Ricky: Sure, what's this one?

1:14:39 Brennan: You pull out a huge book.

1:14:39 Ricky: Big.

1:14:42 Brennan: Go ahead and give me an Arcana check, if you'd be so kind.

1:14:48 Zac: Uh, what's my Arcana? Well, I rolled a three, so probably. Yeah, three.

1:14:53 Brennan: It is written in a language you do not speak, you have no fuckin' idea what this is.

1:14:57 Ricky: Amazing, wow. Each page is, the letters are.

1:15:04 Brennan: Make a Persuasion check for me, if you'd be so kind.

1:15:08 Zac: Okay, 18.

1:15:10 Brennan: 18? You see that Esther kind of leans against the table and like bites her finger, trying to stifle. She's trying not to be mean. She goes,

1:15:21 Esther: [sighs] Would you like me to walk you through this book that you've chosen?

1:15:27 Ricky: That'd be awesome, honestly.

1:15:29 Esther: Okay, so this is a book of axioms. You know what an axiom is?

1:15:32 Ricky: No.

1:15:34 Esther: So, there's different references to it. It means a different thing in philosophy, for example, than it means in arcana. In arcana, an axiom refers to basically a law. A rule of magic.

1:15:41 Ricky: Cool.

1:15:42 Esther: You've opened it to a page that's actually very pertinent for casting magic in New York. It's the imperial axiom. Imperial...?

1:15:51 Ricky: Ax—

1:15:51 Esther: Empire?

1:15:52 Ricky: Oh, empire rule.

1:15:52 Esther: Yeah, the empire rule.

1:15:56 Ricky: Right, oh, yeah.

1:15:58 Brennan: You see that she's walking along. Give me an Insight check, by the way.

1:16:01 Zac: 8.

1:16:05 Brennan: 8, cool. You end up going around, a little bit of a sense of something tingles at you, a little bit of your divine sense tingles as you're walking through a room. She looks at you and says, she's just babbling on, she goes, like,

1:16:20 Esther: So the imperial axiom basically states,

1:16:22 Brennan: And she looks at the book and says,

1:16:24 Esther: Because of the extreme difficulty of creating a permanent magical effect within the tumultuous arcane landscape of New York, an object or enchantment which is abjured or ensorcelled from being crafted—

1:16:34 Ricky: Ensorcelled?

1:16:36 Esther: Yes.

1:16:36 Ricky: Keep going, sorry.

1:16:38 Esther: No, that's all right. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Object or enchantment which is abjured or ensorcelled from being crafted, conjured or created in a given location can be crafted, conjured or created in its abjured locality if it is first crafted, conjured or created within the five boroughs of New York City. And that's the imperial axiom. Also sometimes known as Sinatra's law.

1:16:59 Ricky: Oh, um. So, I didn't understand that. I'm gonna be honest, but it sounded awesome, the way you said it.

1:17:09 Esther: If a magical effect or object is barred or, I'm trying to think. There's lots of things that you can't do in certain places or for certain reasons they're abjured, they're barred, they're warded, yadda-yadda-yadda. However, because of the imperial axiom, if you are able to create or conjure that magical effect or object within the five boroughs of New York City, you can then conjure, craft or create it within the place that it is normally barred from being crafted or created. So it's just an interesting law of magic. There's tons of these that you have to learn and know about.

1:17:41 Ricky: It's like a loophole.

1:17:41 Esther: It's a little loophole. But I mean, there's whole libraries full of loopholes.

1:17:46 Brennan: You look up and get a really weird sense. You're looking at a giant map of the five boroughs of New York City, except that the highways on the map are in this sort of pulsing red. And your Divine Sense tingles a little bit.

1:18:04 Ricky: So, what's the deal with this glowing map?

1:18:08 Esther: Glowing map? Why don't you tell me what you think?

1:18:11 Brennan: Give me another Arcana check?

1:18:15 Zac: Two.

1:18:19 Esther: What do you think it is?

1:18:20 Ricky: Well, so, these are the highways, right?

1:18:23 Esther: Yeah.

1:18:23 Ricky: And they're glowing. So that's, traffic's really bad right now.

1:18:30 Brennan: Give me another Persuasion check?

1:18:35 Zac: Two. Wait, five.

1:18:36 Brennan: Five? Do it with advantage, I'll give you a little inspiration here.

1:18:43 Zac: Okay, 16.

1:18:45 Brennan: You see that she just busts out laughing. And she says,

1:18:47 Esther: I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be an asshole.

1:18:49 Ricky: It’s not traffic.

1:18:51 Esther: It's not traffic, no. It's not traffic.

1:18:53 Ricky: I didn't feel like it was traffic. [mystical, chiming music]

1:18:55 Esther: No, it's not traffic. That's a good guess. That is actually a good guess. The loose term we have for it is the highway hex. Basically, unlike the subways and the bus routes that run basically with the grain of ley lines here in New York, a lot of the highways seem to run against it. And it actually creates the tumultuous arcane effect we were talking about when we were talking about the imperial axiom. You know, the BQE, the Major Deegan. A lot of these highways end up creating pathways of energies that dilute ley lines, which makes teleporting into and out of New York very difficult. It basically makes us a little bit more isolated.

1:19:40 Ricky: So it's like interference?

1:19:40 Esther: That's exactly right. It's like interference.

1:19:44 Ricky: Nice. Cool, okay.

1:19:48 Brennan: You see that she says,

1:19:48 Esther: Absolutely.

1:19:50 Ricky: So why, so this is just a map explaining that that exists?

1:19:54 Esther: Well, we don't understand a lot about it. We don't know. We're trying to figure it out as well. A lot of these things.

1:20:02 Brennan: And you see she gets a sad look on her face. She says,

1:20:03 Esther: A lot of these things are a work in progress.

1:20:06 Ricky: Does it have anything to do with the amount of people going back and forth?

1:20:09 Esther: That's part of it. The traffic actually does a lot of the work of energy, because obviously, people have an inherent magic in them, even a person that can't see the Unsleeping City still has a heart and a soul. Kingston, your friend, gets his magic from real people every day.

1:20:28 Ricky: Wow. Wow.

1:20:32 Brennan: You're stunned. She says,

1:20:33 Esther: I've been up for more than a day, so I think I'm gonna hit the hay. Let me show you your place.

1:20:37 Ricky: Awesome, yeah.

1:20:40 Brennan: She takes you to a little bunk in the chantry. She says,

1:20:43 Esther: There should be shampoo and towels and stuff if you need it. Let me know if you need anything else.

1:20:50 Ricky: Okay, uh, thanks.

1:20:50 Esther: And hey. I appreciate the scholarly effort.

1:20:57 Ricky: Thanks, it's really hard for me.

1:21:00 Brennan: She looks like her heart breaks, and she says,

1:21:05 Esther: I always thought you were a bit of a macho kinda guy. And you… I'm grateful that you ran into the fire and saved us all, but that's the kind of thing that guys like you do. No offense.

1:21:17 Ricky: Oh, none taken.

1:21:20 Brennan: She looks and says,

1:21:20 Esther: You trying to learn that stuff really is brave, and I'm not downplaying that.

1:21:28 Ricky: Thanks, appreciate that.

1:21:31 Zac: Then I just take off my shirt. [cast laughs]

1:21:35 Brennan: Make an Insight check?

1:21:37 Zac: Uh, I got a 8.

1:21:40 Brennan: She makes some kinda expression on her face and says,

1:21:43 Esther: [very quickly] Have a good night, Rick!

1:21:45 Brennan: And walks away down the hallway. Great, we're gonna cut over to our man Kingston Brown. Kingston, it's a short walk, actually, from here to Williamsburg. So you walk dead of night, one o' clock in the morning. What's going on on in Kingston's head as he walks to Williamsburg? [map noise]

1:22:07 Lou: I think just a lot of trying to put the pieces together of Bethesda Fountain bullshit, the weird man at that fucking wedding, man, what's going on? What happened to New York that I love? I mean, I still love New York, but god damn. We were doing okay, and then Pete shows up. And he's a good kid, but come on. Everything seems to be going. Who's this gray baby? Alejandro's smoking again.

1:22:33 Brennan: Gimme an Investigate check.

1:22:33 Lou: Great. 19.

1:22:39 Brennan: You know where you need to head. You go down by the waterfront, like Kent. You can look across the river and see Manhattan. You're walking up. You start to walk through this old neighborhood. It's southern Williamsburg, near the water. It's late at night. There's a lot of families in this neighborhood, so hardly any noise of anything happening. And you begin to hear a lumbering. [mimics heavy crashing] You round a corner, and you look and see an eight-foot-tall brick hulking golem. You see that the golem's eyes glow. [shuddering growl] And you see that it's digging through pavement for something. Turns around. [growls] Eyes glow, looks over at you.

1:23:45 Kingston: What you lookin' for, Willy?

1:23:47 Willy: [very deep voice, Yiddish accent] Kingston Brown from uptown!

1:23:50 Kingston: Oh, what's going on, man?

1:23:52 Brennan: As he puts a hand up and [wham!] goes down, brings you in for a big hug. [stone scraping noises] Says,

1:23:58 Willy: you look good, Kingston Brown.

1:24:01 Kingston: Hey, thank you, man, I appreciate. You don't look bad yourself. Redder than normal.

1:24:05 Brennan: He says,

1:24:05 Willy: well, what can I say? Some rust from being down in the scrapyards. There are a couple of trolls that come by to bother Willy. Took all of a week to find them all.

1:24:21 Kingston: That's tough, man, but how you doing? You living well, you good?

1:24:25 Willy: I live by the might of God. I am happy to be animated still. You're looking thin. You eating still these days?

1:24:36 Kingston: You know, my mom's trying to get me to eat more, but just between work and more work, and then the city and all that shit. Y'know, it's hard to make time. I made a salad tonight, and I didn't even get to eat all of it, 'cos I had to come down here.

1:24:49 Willy: If you want, we should go by a bakery somewhere. I can move.

1:24:54 Brennan: You see that his bricks integrate with a wall next to him.

1:24:56 Willy: I can move through the wall, grab maybe a bagel, a schmear, some lox. What do you want?

1:25:03 Kingston: I mean, yeah, yeah. No lox, just bagel with schmear.

1:25:06 Brennan: He nods. [heavy crunching] Starts lumbering down the street. He says,

1:25:10 Willy: By the way, there is a nest of dybbuks nearby here. They are spectral, so hard for me to smash them. You mind to take a look?

1:25:24 Kingston: Yeah, of course. What are you, sorry, you're gonna have to say that again. You know, sometimes, the lack of a tongue and the fact that your mouth is mostly bricks, I have trouble—

1:25:31 Willy: Should I have a tongue made of meat like someone who is a human?

1:25:35 Kingston: I'm not saying you've gotta have a tongue.

1:25:36 Willy: Why must you come down here to give me a hard time?

1:25:38 Kingston: I did not come down here to fight with you about whether or not you have a tongue, all right.

1:25:40 Wally: I can tell you for a fact I don't. I should be so lucky to have a tongue.

1:25:45 Kingston: Uh-huh, okay.

1:25:46 Brennan: You go down the street, get to a bakery. You see that he melds with the brick wall, disappears for a second, and comes back out, [crunching] The bricks open up in his chest and you see a nice toasted everything bagel with a schmear on it.

1:26:01 Kingston: Oh, thank you, Willy, this looks delicious.

1:26:03 Wally: Ah, think nothing of it. It's important, you have to stay fed.

1:26:07 Kingston: Yeah, I'm sorry, what were you gonna say?

1:26:10 Wally: There are a nest of dybbuks, ah, possessing spirits that are nearby. Would you mind just...?

1:26:18 Kingston: Yeah, of course, happy to.

1:26:20 Brennan: He takes you around the corner. You see for sure there's a hive in an old gutter of a building of just some very minor undead spirits that are hanging out there.

1:26:30 Lou: Okay, I Turn Undead, or Destroy Undead?

1:26:33 Brennan: Yeah, you raise your hand. What do you say to this nest of dybbuks as you see it?

1:26:39 Kingston: All right. Get outta here, you damn dybbuks!

1:26:45 Brennan: So they all fly away.

1:26:48 Willy: And don't come back! Kingston, what a mitzvah. I appreciate you taking the time.

1:26:53 Kingston: Of course, man, happy to help. You know, I wouldn't come down here at 1:00am just to say hello, y'know? You know I love a good bagel but it's late, and I should be sleeping. But I want to ask you. What's going on with Lazarus?

1:27:09 Willy: Lazarus?

1:27:09 Kingston: Yeah.

1:27:12 Willy: Ugh. Some Christian schmuck in the Bible I think. What should I know for?

1:27:19 Kingston: Well, I mean, it's just we've got something going on. You know that gray baby?

1:27:25 Willy: Gray baby?

1:27:25 Kingston: You know the gray baby?

1:27:26 Willy: The gray baby? Why should a baby be gray? Take the baby to the hospital.

1:27:30 Kingston: Hey, you're talking to a nurse, all right? I know babies should not be gray. Anyway, you know Nod, right?.

1:27:40 Willy: Nod, yes, I know. I am a creature, of course, of the waking worlds, but.

1:27:45 Kingston: Yeah, well there's something going down with Nod. And there's this gray baby that just keeps talking on and on about Lazarus. And you know, me and Alejandro and some of the other people were talking, we were like, who here knows about this religious stuff? So I thought to come to you.

1:28:02 Willy: So this something in the Dreaming told you about this, what. Lazarus from the Bible?

1:28:12 Kingston: Yes, because. Oh, well, the other thing I forgot to mention is, you know Santa Claus, right? Santa Claus got his list stolen. And you know that both Satan and St. Peter have been using that same list. So—

1:28:24 Willy: Ah, what a mess.

1:28:26 Kingston: Okay, Willy, we don't need to get into all of this Christian versus Jewish stuff, all right.

1:28:30 Willy: You said it, not me, I was just saying.

1:28:34 Kingston: All right, well, do you know anything about Lazarus? Or is there anything you've heard? Any rumblings?

1:28:40 Willy: Lazarus… Are you sure that it's the Lazarus from the Bible?

1:28:47 Kingston: Well, you got another Lazarus I should be looking into?

1:28:51 Brennan: You see he looks out over the water. Beautiful snow across the water of the East River. And he looks out at the Statue of Liberty.

1:29:03 Willy: Now, there.

1:29:03 Siobhan: [whispers] Emma Lazarus.

1:29:08 Willy: Now, there is a woman. There was a woman once, Emma Lazarus. She wrote the poem inscribed in that divine, beautiful woman's book. [groans] Oh, the Statue of Liberty.

1:29:29 Kingston: I'm sorry, Willy. Are you trying to get it on with the Statue of Liberty?

1:29:34 Willy: What, a golem can't dream?

1:29:34 Kingston: I'm not saying that you… We just never talked about ladies before. I just didn't know.

1:29:39 Willy: Well, what do you know? Your wife's a wooden shoe.

1:29:42 Kingston: Oh, oh, okay. You wanna bring that up?

1:29:43 Willy: No, just saying.

1:29:46 Kingston: You, oh, you just saying, all right.

1:29:48 Willy: Listen, I don't mean to fight. You're a mensch. You come down, you help me with dybbuks. I'm happy to answer your question. I'm just saying, you tell me that is not a fetching statue?

1:30:00 Kingston: Okay, if a statue could… I'm personally not attracted to statues. But sure, that's a beautiful woman.

1:30:07 Willy: What am, I chopped liver? I am not a handsome statue?

1:30:09 Kingston: We've never talked about being… I mean, do you think I'm an attractive man?

1:30:14 Willy: You're a very handsome man. I have no problem saying.

1:30:15 Kingston: Okay, fine. You're a very handsome stone golem.

1:30:18 Willy: That actually means a lot to me.

1:30:20 Kingston: Okay, well, I'm sorry I didn't say it before.

1:30:22 Willy: Well, you might start looking for Emma Lazarus. Kingston, shalom, my brother. It was good to see you.

1:30:28 Kingston: Hey, thank you very much. Willy, poker sometime?

1:30:31 Willy: Oh, please, we missed you from the game! Come by any time.

1:30:33 Kingston: Be there.

1:30:34 Willy: Give my best to Victoria and Winston.

1:30:36 Kingston: Of course. Have a good night, bub.

1:30:39 Brennan: You see he nods, smiles. Heads off down the street. And you got a name. Kingston heads out. This is going to be our friend Sofia. You head back to Staten Island. You're on your way back to, I guess, your family's house.

1:30:57 Emily: Yeah.

1:30:58 Brennan: Make a Perception check for me, if you'd be so kind.

1:31:04 Emily: Nat 20.

1:31:06 Ally: Fuck yeah!

1:31:06 Siobhan: At last!

1:31:08 Ally: Just out of the leopard box!

1:31:12 Brennan: You're heading down the street, and before you can even realize it, you bump face-to-face with Isabella Infierno.

1:31:23 Sofia: [under her breath] Oh, my god.

1:31:24 Isabella: [Staten Island accent] Oh, my god. Sofia, running into you on the street. How you doing?

1:31:30 Sofia: So late and you're by yourself.

1:31:32 Isabella: Well, I was outta town.

1:31:35 Brennan: And you see she picks up a bag. It's a bag from David's Bridal, and it has a wedding dress in it.

1:31:44 Emily: I vomit.

1:31:53 Sofia: You know you can't get married until I even see divorce papers? I haven't even gotten divorce papers yet.

1:31:59 Isabella: Oh?

1:31:59 Sofia: If this is about Dale.

1:32:05 Isabella: We don't need to have a legal wedding. A lot of what we do is really off the books. It's just a party for our friends and family to come and celebrate our love.

1:32:16 Emily: I tear open the thing to see her wedding dress.

1:32:20 Brennan: Cool, make an Athletics check for me.

1:32:23 Murph: You should have went with her.

1:32:24 Ally: Oh my god.

1:32:26 Emily: Oh my god, I got a 22.

1:32:29 Brennan: You snatch the dress out of her hand. It is the most beautiful gown.

1:32:31 Emily: I vomit again.

1:32:36 Brenan: Isabella picks it up and says,

1:32:40 Isabella: Sofie. You're a fuckin' mess. I wish you the best, and listen. If you really want an invite, I'll be happy to send one your way.

1:32:51 Sofia: I actually would. I just came from a wedding and it was a really beautiful experience. I'm looking to add more to my weekends. Assuming you guys can afford getting married on a weekend. Or are you doing one of those Friday weddings.

1:33:06 Isabella: We're doing a destination wedding.

1:33:08 Sofia: Oh, yeah?

1:33:08 Isabella: Yeah.

1:33:10 Sofia: Where? Just so I know.

1:33:13 Isabella: We're gonna go out all the way to Montauk, have a wedding on the beach. June.

1:33:18 Sofia: Dale hates the beach.

1:33:20 Isabella: Yeah, but I love it, and he loves me. Bye, Sofie.

1:33:25 Brennan: You see she walks off down the street.

1:33:27 Sofia: Just so you know, I woulda never guessed that Dale would do to me what he did to me. So this feeling of confidence and love that you have right now? Enjoy it while it lasts.

1:33:41 Brennan: She shrugs, moves on.

1:33:43 Ally: Wow, that's what a nat 20 gets you. Jesus Christ!

1:33:48 Emily: I'm sweating at the palms.

1:33:48 Ally: Me too!

1:33:53 Brennan: What does Sofie do after that?

1:33:56 Emily: Sofie had a really specific plan before she ran into Isabella Infierno. Lemme see if she can collect herself. I think I'm gonna look at my phone. Well, I wanted to contact two people. And I had this really specific thing. I was coming home being like, you know what? I'm gonna finally do it. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna empty the mailbox. I've been avoiding it 'cos I don't wanna see his name written on letters. Stuff is still coming here for him, but you know, I'm feeling empowered by my new friends, so I'm gonna finally do it. I don't know if I can now.

1:34:34 Brennan: Yeah.

1:34:36 Emily: So I might not do that.

1:34:40 Brennan: Give me a Wisdom save with disadvantage.

1:34:42 Emily: Okay, with disadvantage. Okay, I did get a nat 20, but I also got a 2. Brennan’s jaw drops, shocked but sympathetic.

1:34:49 Siobhan: Oh fuck.

1:34:49 Ally: Fuck

1:34:51 Emily: So, wisdom save is gonna be 5.

1:34:57 Brennan: Sofie needs a drink.

1:34:59 Sofia: Okay.

1:34:59 Ally: Oh, no!

1:35:03 Emily: I'm gonna go to the bar. I feel like I had this really specific plan of what I wanted to do, and I don't know if I can even do it now after that exchange, like, roleplay wise. So I guess I'm gonna go to the bar, and I take out my phone, trying to do what I was planning on doing, but then instead, I'm just gonna text Dale.

1:35:23 Brennan: Cool. You get fuckin' lit. What do you text Dale?

1:35:28 Emily: I think I just say,

1:35:33 Sofia: I hope you get sand between your ass cheeks at your fucking beach wedding, you dick.

1:35:38 Emily: And then I delete it, I delete it, I delete it.

1:35:40 Brennan: Oh!

1:35:41 Emily: And then I just say,

1:35:41 Sofia: I wish you the best.

1:35:43 Ally: Aww!

1:35:43 Emily: Then I send that. I say,

1:35:45 Sofia: I saw Isabella, I wish you the best. [Brennan exhaling heavily]

1:35:53 Emily: And then I order a shot, but as they're pouring the shot, I just take the bottle from them.

1:36:03 Brennan: You just, woohoo, grab the bottle, yeah. You get fuckin' blasted.

1:36:07 Emily: I had all all this responsible detective work I wanted to do! And now it just feels so false for me to do that.

1:36:14 Brennan: I think that's the roleplaying choice. That's the roleplaying choice.

1:36:17 Emily: Never mind.

1:36:19 Brennan: Misty, you arrive back at your lovely penthouse and you see a gift there.

1:36:24 Misty: Oh, I love gifts!

1:36:26 Brennan: It's this huge, beautiful silk tarp over something very tall standing. Must be a piece of art or something.

1:36:37 Siobhan: I don't even have Detect Magic. Fuck it, I'll open this present.

1:36:41 Brennan: You whip the silk off, and a six-foot-tall beautiful standing mirror is here in your apartment.

1:36:53 Siobhan: I find the perfect place for it in my apartment.

1:36:56 Brennan: You set it up in your bedroom. Go ahead and give me a Charisma saving throw.

1:37:07 Siobhan: Er, 15.

1:37:07 Brennan: 15? You are [mimicking explosion] knocked back against the wall. The mirror fills your bedroom with light. You see standing on the other side of the mirror wreathed in light is Titania, Queen of the Faeries.

1:37:27 Siobhan: I kneel.

1:37:29 Misty: It's been such a long time! Oh my god, you look great.

1:37:32 Titania: [imperious] Silence! [glass shattering]

1:37:35 Brennan: All the glassware in your bedroom shatters.

1:37:38 Misty: That's fine, I can get other glassware. [clearing throat] I'm silent, I'm quiet.

1:37:43 Titania: [whispering] My name. My name. You would steal glamor meant for me. You would usurp the glory that was intended for your Queen. Four-hundred years ago you ran away. And just because you hide in a place of iron and smoke does not mean [shouting] you can deny your Queen!

1:38:21 Brennan: [mimicking explosion] Light goes away. Your clothes rend, and your jewelry falls away for a little bit, and you can feel her trying to rip the shoes off your feet.

1:38:37 Siobhan: Can I cover the mirror back up again?

1:38:40 Brennan: Yes, make an attack roll to try and cover the mirror.

1:38:47 Siobhan: Erm, what is that plus?

1:38:47 Brennan: Dex plus proficiency.

1:38:53 Siobhan: Uh, 15 plus proficiency is 18.

1:38:58 Brennan: You grab the silk, hurl it over the mirror. The light fades and you feel one of the bones of your hip break. [sharp cracking]

1:39:15 Misty: Damn, this stupid body.

1:39:19 Siobhan: I call Kingston.

1:39:25 Brennan: Kingston, on your way back to the subway, you get a call from Misty.

1:39:30 Lou: I answer it.

1:39:30 Misty: Kingston. I've, I've had a bad fall.

1:39:35 Kingston: You fell?

1:39:35 Misty: I fell. My hip, I think I've broken my hip.

1:39:39 Kingston: You've broken your— okay. Can you walk? Of course you can't walk. I'm on my way, I'll see you soon.

1:39:46 Misty: Thank you. I'll tell the doorman to let you in.

1:39:48 Kingston: Great.

1:39:48 Brennan: You rush to Misty's. You arrive there, set the hip in, and probably this is where you're gonna have to crash tonight.

1:39:57 Kingston: Okay. Can I spend the night, Misty? Is that all right?

1:39:59 Misty: Please! Use any one of the guest rooms, it's fine.

1:40:01 Kingston: Okay.

1:40:03 Emily: An apartment with multiple guest rooms!

1:40:06 Brennan: Kugrash, you head back to the sewers. What does Kugrash do as he heads back to the sewers? Just sleeping?

1:40:13 Murph: Uh, yeah, I think he's feelin'... What time is it right now?

1:40:20 Brennan: It's one o' clock in the morning.

1:40:22 Murph: Okay, I think he's kinda had a rough day, and he's gonna kinda try to just find a place to think and go to his little hole in the tunnels.

1:40:32 Brennan: On your way to the little hole, near a subway station, you see a little basket with a bunch of cheese in it. And you see there's a little note on it that says, Wherever you are, Rat Jesus, know that I love you. From Wally.

1:40:47 Emily: I love Wally.

1:40:47 Murph: Kugrash breaks down crying.

1:40:51 Ally: Aww!

1:40:52 Murph: And then, does Wally live nearby?

1:40:55 Brennan: Yeah, Wally lives nearby.

1:40:55 Murph: I wanna go to Wally's house.

1:40:58 Brennan: You go to Wally's house. You walk in, you see it's late at night. Wally's at his kitchen table, very small little apartment. And you see that he's FaceTiming with his brother. You see he says, he goes,

1:41:12 Wally: David, c'mon! We don't know that he's gone. He might still be missing.

1:41:18 Brennan: You see that the guy on the other end of the phone is a sort of businessman-looking guy, just average, wearing a fleece. He goes, [somber piano music]

1:41:25 David: Wally, it's late, look. Dad's on some fuckin' island somewhere. He's never comin' back, all right? He's gone. He left us.

1:41:37 Brennan: You see Wally says,

1:41:37 Wally: I don't think he would do that. I know it's been a long time. I just don't think he would.

1:41:45 Brennan: He says,

1:41:45 David: Look, I gotta go, all right? Take care of yourself, Wally. Come check in anytime.

1:41:51 Brennan: The little FaceTime thing ends. Wally looks up and you see he says,

1:41:57 Wally: Well, least I got the Christmas card.

1:41:59 Brennan: He puts a little Christmas card up on his fridge from David and David's wife and kids. And it says, “Merry Christmas from the Kugriches.” Wally goes,

1:42:14 Wally: [sighs] All right, time to go to bed. Gotta brush my teeth, though.

1:42:19 Brennan: He starts brushing his teeth.

1:42:21 Wally: Okay.

1:42:22 Brennan: Pulls under the blanket.

1:42:22 Ally: Fuck.

1:42:25 Murph: I think I'm going to, uh… I think Kugrash isn't ready to confront Wally right now, but I wanna give him a good sign. So I do that, like, parent Santa thing. I eat the cheese and I leave it out on a plate. And I just write on a note, “Rat Jesus loves you, and I'm watching you.”

1:42:50 Emily: I'm watching you!

1:42:51 Murph: And then I say, “in not a creepy way!”

1:42:55 Brennan: Oh, so heartbreaking! And then Kugrash goes and sleeps in the sewers. Pete.

1:43:01 Emily: Kugrash!

1:43:02 Brennan: You enter the Dreaming. What does Pete do once he enters the Dreaming?

1:43:10 Ally: He'd probably having just some weird dream that's similar to life, but he's probably, like. Making a deal.

1:43:21 Brennan: You are making a deal. You're in a beautiful neighborhood. You see that there's a cool guy, little handlebar mustache, someone's riding a fixie around. There's cool coffee shops and stuff like that. Selling some drugs. You see that one of the people turns to look at you and says,

1:43:38 Man: Oh, hey man, you're Pete the Plug, right?

1:43:42 Pete: Hmm?

1:43:42 Man: You're Pete the Plug right? Are you gonna hook us up?

1:43:45 Pete: Yeah, yeah. What do you guys need?

1:43:49 Man: Um, well we'd love to get out, I think.

1:43:54 Pete: Totally.

1:43:55 Man: Do you have anything to help us, like, get out?

1:43:56 Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lemme see.

1:43:59 Ally: I like, pull out some mushrooms. I'm like,

1:44:01 Pete: Into this? You gonna go camping or something, or?

1:44:07 Man: [whispering] We've always wanted to go to New York. [creepy hissing and clicking] [cracking]

1:44:13 Brennan: These mandibles extend and start clicking, and you see that all the people around here begin to turn insectoid. They take your mushrooms, start passing them out, and around you, a rip in the Dreaming opens, and you see a neighborhood in New York City. And these things begin to fly out. They become surrounded by the Umbral Arcana, and you see that they are headed into real New York City.

1:44:42 Man: Thanks, Pete! [insectoid slithering and scuttling]

1:44:46 Pete: Fuck, fuck fuck!

1:44:46 Brennan: And they storm in. You snap awake as quick as you can. On the table, it is morning.

1:44:52 Ally: Okay. I find Alejandro.

1:44:56 Brennan: Alejandro's there.

1:44:57 Alejandro: [gasps] Peter, what did you see?

1:44:59 Pete: Okay, uh, okay. I was, I was probably in Williamsburg or something. And these people wanted to get out. And I gave them mushrooms. And then they said thank you, they all turned into insects and ripped a hole and left and got out, and went into an actual place in New York.

1:45:17 Alejandro: You let them out?

1:45:17 Pete: Yeah, in the dream. I was selling.

1:45:22 Alejandro: [yelling] Peter, what you do in the dream matters!

1:45:25 Pete: I don't know, I was just doing what I'd normally do in the day to day.

1:45:28 Alejandro: What you would normally do is--

1:45:29 Pete: They didn't even give me money.

1:45:32 Alejandro: God!

1:45:33 Brennan: You see he, boom! Opens up a window. You see that he's doing a Clairvoyance spell onto a neighborhood. You hear screams. [screaming voices]

1:45:44 Alejandro: My god, my god. [stammering]

1:45:46 Brennan: You see,

1:45:46 Alejandro: I, I must run and find Esther. Collect your friends. These people are in danger!

1:45:51 Pete: Fuck!

1:45:54 Brennan: What's Pete do?

1:45:54 Ally: Sends out a mass text? Do I have your guys’ numbers?

1:45:58 Brennan: You wake up hungover. You wake up in the Chantry upstairs. You wake up in Misty's apartment. You wake up in the sewers. There's trouble, you see it's right next to the Steinway subway stop, and you guys all know where to go.

1:46:11 Murph: Start running there.

1:46:13 Brennan: You guys rush to the subway stop in very--

1:46:16 Siobhan: Wait, I can't rush. I've just broken my hip.

1:46:19 Brennan: Your hip has, Kingston does some—

1:46:22 Lou: I use magic to heal you.

1:46:24 Siobhan: All right, all right, all right, all right.

1:46:25 Lou: We are not going to do this in a normal way.

1:46:27 Murph: He’s not a regular doctor.

1:46:28 Brennan: You guys rush, all get on the subway. Kingston, you give a little bit of help getting that subway there extra quick. And [mimics explosion] you guys rush up out of the subway steps and hear the chittering of strange insects. I'm gonna need everybody here to roll initiative.

1:46:48 Ally: Roll in here?

1:46:51 Brennan: That's all for this week on The Unsleeping City! Tune in next week and see what's bugging our intrepid heroes! [hissing and chittering]

1:46:59 Ally: I hate bugs! [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 6: The War of Bugs and Rats] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20] [tense music]

1:47:02 Brennan: You guys rush up out of the subway. The buildings are covered in horrifying, gross webs. A wasp centaur [growling savagely]. Giant fucking beetle monster.

1:47:15 Becky: I'mma need them all [growls] dead!

1:47:16 Kugrash: I summon you, my babies. Defend your true king, you pieces of shit!

1:47:20 Brennan: You hear muffled screams.

1:47:20 Kingston: What the fuck is in there?

1:47:24 Ally: I hate this.

1:47:25 Emily: Those guys are fuckin' going up in flames. [frenzied screaming]

1:47:30 Emily: Just try and fucking touch me with 25, bitch! [mimicking gunshots]

1:47:35 Becky: When this bug tramples you!

1:47:35 Ally: Fuck!

1:47:38 Lou: Nat 20! [all cheering]

1:47:38 Edited by: Tillie the Paladin, gluegunshots, rowan solsys