The Caged Elf and the Crown

0:00:00 Brennan: Kasara the Beige, an Airu Spirit, Telmeir the Calm, the father of Efink Murderdeath, and a number of high elven warriors have just appeared. Space and time cleave in a rift of mist.

0:00:13 Ify: If I were to animal handling this eagle, will it fly for me?

0:00:17 Rekha: Well now Ify's riding an eagle.

0:00:19 Brennan: Stalker does not heal Galfast, but does cast spare the dying.

0:00:24 Stalker: [with a gravelly, southern accent] You stabbed up the little gal real good.

0:00:26 Efink: [acting surprised] Wait, are you suggesting that you join our team?

0:00:31 Stalker: [simply] Yep.

0:00:32 Brennan: You see Telmeir hit the lob and go I hate this mountain. And he is gone.

0:00:38 Erika: She reaches her arms out, and the gravity reverses.

0:00:44 Brennan: You're holding a balloon elf.

0:00:45 Maggie: I have two hammers.

0:00:46 Kasara: [prissy, British] Oh no, not again. [Brennan makes an explosion noise]

0:00:49 Brennan: Lieutenants of the Bloodkeep, the anvil is restored. You are victorious! (all cheering and clapping) [END RECAP] (dramatic theme music plays)

0:01:04 Brennan: Welcome one and all to another episode of Escape from the Bloodkeep. I am your dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. Here, as always, are our vile villains. Say hello, vile villains.

0:01:13 All: Hello, vile villains.

0:01:18 Brennan: Last we left our dastardly friends off, you guys were in the scary volcano of Ro-ro-ro-ro-ror-kin-drath. You had retrieved the anvil of Gogmoth, although retrieved is a funny term here 'cause it's heavy. You have defeated many of the heroes of the forces of light. However, according to what they said at the very beginning of the battle, the door of doom has fallen and the armies of men, elves and dwarves now march freely in the lands of Gorgar. (light, creepy piano music plays) That is scary news, 'cause it means that the good guys know that something's up. It doesn't necessarily mean that your guys know that something is up. However, you are here with the anvil. You are also here with Percival, son of Paraval, AKA Stalker, who's the husband of Efink Murderdeath and you're the last king of Tyriath, who is holding a badly injured but stabilized Galfast Hamhead. And, uh, and, uh, I’m trying to think. The only other person of note who has joined your party is an eagle, is a big talking eagle.

0:02:32 Trapp: A big, financially savvy eagle. Does the eagle have a name?

0:02:39 Brennan: No one's asked the eagle his name yet, so we'll come back to-: you were standing in the forest, the lava’s everywhere. You see that the lava mog continues to give birth and then begins to submerge herself, having attempted to feed but now kind of like, taking the different elven bodies and stuff like that. (slurping and cracking)

0:02:54 Sokhbarr: But it has all those vitamins you need. (overlapping)

0:02:58 Maggie: Aw, yeah. Better than formula

0:02:58 Leiland: A little protein in the elves.

0:03:01 Brennan: Anyone who wants to can give me a religion check.

0:03:07 Trapp: I'm alright. Not my forte.

0:03:11 Rekha: 5.

0:03:13 Amy: 5.

0:03:13 Brennan: 5. Great.

0:03:14 Trapp: 10.

0:03:14 Brennan: 10. Cool.

0:03:14 Ify: Yeah, I got a 4.

0:03:18 Brennan: 4, gotcha. No worries. Buncha godless people, here in Gorgar?

0:03:20 Trapp: Crazy, huh?

0:03:22 Brennan: Crazy. But basically, you are not: you know that Telmeir, who's been the lord of Caer Blythwin for nigh on some millennia, is fully dead. Kasara the Beige is destroyed, but much like Zaul'nazh and other beings like yourself, Lilith, the manner of finally killing her is not necessarily the same as destroying her corporeal form. So there might be some shenanigans there or not. But certainly fucking not coming back without some extreme stuff happening, or possibly not coming back for a long while. (music stops)

0:03:57 Trapp: Slightly beiger. (laughter)

0:04:01 Brennan: But you are here with Stalker, Galfast, this big eagle whose name you have not asked. Uh, and-

0:04:06 Rekha: (shrugging) Shame?

0:04:07 Amy: Yikes.

0:04:09 Brennan: But you stand here with the rune covered anvil of Gogmoth in front of you.

0:04:12 Rekha: (gasp) Yes.

0:04:14 Matt: I'd like to go ahead and just give a very thorough once over of the nature of the runes and the enchantments that are bound to this anvil to see if I can ascertain perhaps what process is required to forge something at it. (overlapping)

0:04:27 Amy: Can I actually assist him with the legend lore that I--

0:04:29 Trapp: Do you still have the book, too?

0:04:30 Matt: Still have the book.

0:04:31 Brennan: Yes, you absolutely--

0:04:32 Amy: Like maybe we do that together since we care very much about it?

0:04:35 Brennan: Absolutely. You may absolutely do that. You cast legend lore on this. You also probably have that detect magic that you can do at will. Go ahead both of you guys and give me an arcana check.

0:04:53 Matt: That is 18.

0:04:55 Amy: A dirty 20.

0:04:56 Matt: Nice.

0:04:57 Brennan: Cool. You guys pour over the anvil together, all of these dark runes here. You are also, this is not a high DC also because you have the book here with you covering crown lore. You cast this legend lore spell and (whoosh) a vision. Efink gasps as she has a vision.

0:05:10 Brennan: (laughs) You-

0:05:17 Matt: I: hm. (covers Amy’s face with his hand)

0:05:24 Amy: Remember when I said it was hot? Rekha. Remember, she's dripping wet.

0:05:30 Matt: She's also not my type.

0:05:31 Brennan: You see the eagle turns over to you and says,

0:05:34 Eagle: It is, I mean it’s gotta be like a hundred and forty degrees in here. How is this lady still dripping wet? That's wild. I mean, forgive me, that's crazy.

0:05:40 Markus: Yeah I know, I feel like-

0:05:46 Amy: Just as that happens I spasm and drips of water get in his eye.

0:05:52 Eagle: It's 'cause of my beak. I don't have hands. Can you get that for me?

0:05:55 Markus: Yeah. What's your name by the way? (laughter and clapping)

0:06:01 Brennan: He looks down at you and goes, he says,

0:06:01 John: John Feathers.

0:06:10 Maggie: And that's not a sort of romanization, just like a translation of a name? That's your name?

0:06:16 John: Yeah, John Feathers.

0:06:20 Markus: Nice to meet you John, I can't wait to see what we get up to.

0:06:24 John: The men of Tyriath call me Bahir of the Fast Wind.

0:06:28 Maggie: You don't have to act like you don't know what I'm asking.

0:06:31 John: For sure, but yeah, no.

0:06:34 Lilith: We'll stick with John.

0:06:37 Leiland: Senor Feathers.

0:06:40 Amy: Isn't it after your nature to name--

0:06:42 Efink: Isn't it after your nature to name your animals with letters that begin with J?

0:06:47 Sokhbarr: Yeah, you know, it's just a lucky, lucky letter for me. (laughter)

0:06:53 Rekha: Yeah, it's J, apostrophe, O, H, umlaut, N.

0:06:58 Amy: (laughing) An umlaut over the H?

0:06:59 Rekha: Yes. For sure.

0:07:02 John: Yeah, but no that's my name. Some people that are close to me call me JJ just because my dad is John Feathers Senior when I was growing up (knocks pen on table) up in the mountains.

0:07:11 Sokhbarr: J Feathers Junior.

0:07:13 John: (deadpan) No one calls me that.

0:07:14 Maggie: J, J, J. Triple J.

0:07:16 Sokhbarr: Alright, fair enough.

0:07:17 John: JJ's fine. But, in any case, so golden nest is fine. You want me to keep working for you guys, I mean you guys are done with this battle so my debt's paid. If you wanna work something else out, we can work something else out.

0:07:31 Lilith: We can do it on a gig by gig basis. Sort of prorated I'm sure.

0:07:37 John: So what are we talking here?

0:07:39 Sokhbarr: I mean this sounds like Markus's domain.

0:07:41 Markus: Oh, so now y'all backing out, but when we flying to the next battle, I know who's not getting a ride.

0:07:52 Lilith: What are your rates normally like?

0:07:53 Markus: I like to start off with rating. Don't let them get to thinkin'.

0:08:00 Efink: What about two golden nests?

0:08:02 Markus: Well, yeah, you said you want nests. Obviously as an eagle you have different wants and desires as me as a human with a, you know, human. So-

0:08:14 Sokhbarr: Like a big salmon.

0:08:15 Markus: Yeah, what's your game? What can we get for your that would make you--

0:08:19 John: (looking at Trapp) Hey, fuck you buddy. Alright? I don't want a big salmon.

0:08:19 Maggie: Maybe an egg?

0:08:22 Sokhbarr: You don't want a big salmon?

0:08:23 Maggie: Do you want an egg? (music stops)

0:08:25 John: Do I want an egg?

0:08:26 Maggie: You sit on it, hatch it.

0:08:28 Markus: You guys are really ruining my deals. I need y'all to just--

0:08:32 Sokhbarr: I'm trying to help.

0:08:33 Maggie: We can find him a big egg. It's easy.

0:08:36 Brennan: He says,

0:08:36 John: Look, I'll be honest. I want a gold nest, and I wanna wear clothes like people do.

0:08:42 Maggie: Like jeans?

0:08:45 John: I wanna wear pants, and I wanna wear a robe. I wanna have sleeves, and I wanna have shoes. I don't know what kind of shoes I can have as I gotta keep my talons so I can land on stuff, but I want some y’know, look.

0:08:57 Efink: Do you want it to be wet eternally?

0:08:59 Lilith: Is this because you feel this will confer upon you the status of personhood, or is it more that you're more interested in the garments themselves? It's a very important distinction because pants frankly are overrated.

0:09:11 Erika: And Lilith gestures towards her naked abdomen. (laughter)

0:09:14 Brennan: You see he goes,

0:09:14 John: Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. Finish this sentence. We are going to destroy the free world of...

0:09:22 All: Humans.

0:09:24 John: Okay, yeah. Sometimes you'll tack on elves and dwarves there. Where is eagles? Where is eagles at?

0:09:27 Markus: No one, yeah.

0:09:30 Sokhbarr: You know, you make a really good point.

0:09:32 John: We fully talk. We have a full language.

0:09:35 Maggie: You’re right.

0:09:37 Efink: Well are you or are or are you not free anyway? I mean do you transcend the free world of men is all I'm saying.

0:09:45 Leiland: You do tend to really live far higher than most of the smaller races. Maybe you weren't even on the radar of our lord?

0:09:51 John: Do we: Listen, we can quibble. Do we honestly feel that the free world refers to an altitude?

0:09:58 Efink: Okay, yes, you're right, we're doing semantics.

0:10:00 John: This is semantics. That's all I'm saying is it's semantics.

0:10:03 Sokhbarr: I totally kinda like lumped you in with there's like a group of people who are like, oh these animals are good, and these animals are bad, and I totally was thinking you're one of these jerks who're just like, y’know like, but then yeah, I don't know, you got a beef against humans too, right?

0:10:21 Lilith: We were making a lot of assumptions. That was wrong of us.

0:10:24 Maggie: And that's really bad.

0:10:25 Sokhbarr: That's bad. That's on us. That is on us.

0:10:27 Maggie: I owe you a shopping date.

0:10:28 John: Really?

0:10:29 Maggie: Yeah.

0:10:30 Sokhbarr: (excited)  Ooh, shopping with JJ. Get him some clothes.

0:10:34 Maggie: We can go any time you want. I'm there.

0:10:37 Sokhbarr: How's this lore check going? (laughter)

0:10:44 Efink: (moaning) Semantics, right? (moaning)

0:10:46 Trapp: As she's doing her process I kinda lean over to the side and I'm like,

0:10:48 Leiland: I find this is a very slippery slope. I mean what happens if Shadowfax ends up wanting, like, horse rights. There're a lot of creatures that aren't really included in this whole deal.

0:10:55 Lilith: Look, he seems mostly concerned with pants. We can do pants for anyone.

0:10:59 Maggie: I know exactly what's gonna look good on him.

0:11:01 Efink: But when did they last try to enter the world of men? You know? It's like demanding something that they never even put effort for-

0:11:05 Lilith: Well they did it now and it seems pretty damn important. Efink moans and leans her head back as she has a vision.

0:11:10 Brennan: You guys see a (whoosh) a vision appears to you. (whoosh) Legend war. The anvil being created by Gogmoth and given to Zaul'Nazh prior to the crafting of any of the circlets. You see (whoosh) woven to the anvils the ability to bind souls. And though Zaul'Nazh's crown has been unmade and destroyed here in the fires of the scary volcano, this anvil has the ability to forge soul matter. To create items of arcane or divine power that bind a soul to them. Now, Zaul'Nazh is no more. You guys saw him appear in the lands beyond in the nightmare realms. However, if there were something here that still possessed a fraction of his soul, it could potentially be unmade and reforged into something that could potentially reconstitute him.

0:12:19 Efink: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

0:12:21 Sokhbarr: Shopping trip!

0:12:23 Maggie: (waving her arms) Yay!

0:12:24 Lilith: That sounds nice.

0:12:27 Efink: No, no, no, (leans over to Matt) my friend.

0:12:29 Leiland: Yes.

0:12:31 Efink: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

0:12:34 Leiland: If what we're thinking is sacrificing the very essence of my unnatural immortal life in the name of reforging the physical form--

0:12:47 Efink: Oh, no, just your helmet.

0:12:49 Leiland: The helmet does kind of make me stay as this.

0:12:52 Efink: Oh, then yes.

0:12:53 Leiland: Without it, the unbinding sends me screaming into the infernal abyss beyond. But-

0:12:57 Efink: Okay, okay, okay, keep going.

0:13:00 Sokhbarr: What about Declan?

0:13:01 Lilith: It's true, you have a whole-- (laughter)

0:13:07 Leiland: I don't like Declan, to be perfectly honest.

0:13:10 Sokhbarr: I mean I don't like any of those guys, to be--

0:13:12 Lilith: They're very spooky.

0:13:12 Leiland: Hold on.

0:13:15 Lilith: It's a whole bag of spooky boys.

0:13:15 Leiland: Hold on, just one second.

0:13:18 Matt: And I curl back, and as you see the warm air suddenly turn cool as it's sucked into the lungs of Le- the Vinguri. (screeching) Echoing cry of the Vinguri echoes through the mountain out through the halls to call the rest of the Vinguri to the interior of the scary volcano.

0:13:38 Brennan: Cool. You hear echoing throughout this screech, and you hear, mere moments afterwards, all the way from the Bloodkeep down out of the mountains, that you can almost see out through the passageway the path leading back to it, you hear (screeching), and all of you get that cold shiver down your spine. You see that Stalker looks up and goes

0:14:00 Stalker: Ehh, They got glass in their throat.

0:14:03 Efink: They got glass-

0:14:03 Stalker: They got glass in their throat. Sounds like scratching on a plate.

0:14:10 Efink: Right, no, you're right.

0:14:12 Stalker: Make my ears hurt.

0:14:13 Lilith: I just--

0:14:13 Sokhbarr: He always sounds like he just had a whiskey or something.

0:14:16 Lilith: She can do so much better, right?

0:14:18 Sokhbarr: I know, I know, I: Is it a self esteem issue? What's the deal?

0:14:23 Lilith: I think it's just tied up in her whole daddy issues thing.

0:14:28 Stalker: You can, you can eat your boogers.

0:14:31 Efink: Ha ha ha ha,

0:14:31 Amy: And I lean over and plant a weird kiss on his cheek.

0:14:35 Efink: You're so funny.

0:14:36 Stalker: If you need to for food, because they can- its, you know every bit counts in a survival scenario.

0:14:39 Markus: Yeah, yeah...

0:14:42 Sokhbarr: All right, well--

0:14:43 Efink: Off topic.

0:14:44 Lilith: Or trash.

0:14:46 Stalker: You got trash near here? Because you can use trash to make a blanket.

0:14:51 Trapp: I'm gonna, just while we're waiting for the, I always forget this name, what is the Vin--

0:14:55 Matt: Vinguri.

0:14:59 Trapp: Vinguri. I'm waiting for them to show up. I kinda just wanna maybe take one of these chains and restrain Hamhead. Just 'cause I know she's wounded and stuff right now, but I don't really trust her. I just wanna make sure that if she comes to she's not gonna go scampering away.

0:15:14 Erika: The children are scuttling over her body right now.

0:15:18 Lilith: Gina, Kevin, please, stop, stop.

0:15:21 Sokhbarr: Listen to your mother.

0:15:23 Brennan: You see that your children scuttle all around. You see that peeking over the edge of the caldera down there you see Jason and like a thousand other spiders up there and he goes,

0:15:33 Jason: (teenage boy voice) Mom, we tried to go to the woods but there was tons of elves and stuff up there and like men of Tyriath, and the way was barred I guess.

0:15:44 Lilith: Oh for goodness sake, did you try to decimate their numbers?

0:15:48 Jason: Yeah, a couple hundred of us died. We really did try, but it was like they were really tough, and like, I don’t know, like, they parted the clouds and like sunlight touched us and it burned the hell out of us, and then it was like we didn't fight as good I guess.

0:16:04 Lilith: (sigh) I'm not angry, I'm just slightly disappointed. Well, then, just--

0:16:10 Brennan: You guys have never seen a thousand spiders all lower their heads at the same time.

0:16:14 Lilith: It's all right, it's all right. We're going to work through this together. What are we going to do with all of this?

0:16:21 Efink: Invite them in the caldera.

0:16:25 Rekha: Point of clarification--

0:16:27 Lilith: Are you trying to say that I should invite my children to a fiery death? Is that what-

0:16:32 Efink: Well that's what we are, and it's taken by us and the lava mog. Only wonderful people are here now. It's safe as can be.

0:16:42 Lilith: (begrudgingly) Everyone come on down then. Be careful.

0:16:47 Brennan: (skittering) Yeah, mostly they're careful. Maybe like five or ten fall in the lava. (sizzling)

0:16:52 Erika: One or two go (screeches), and like five more come from somewhere else, like birthed from some other--

0:17:00 Brennan: Some other part of you. Well, you know, it's all groovy.

0:17:03 Sokhbarr: Every one is a small tragedy.

0:17:07 Trapp: Just pour a little out for each.

0:17:10 Brennan: Incredible. You look over and see-: Oh, sorry, you had a question.

0:17:14 Rekha: I did have a question. Can you just repeat again the anvil can forge, or can bind a soul to an item that it forges?

0:17:20 Brennan: Yeah, you can probably use it to make a bunch of cool shit, but none of that is really pertinent right now other than the main thing being that you do have these circlets on the Vinguri that do contain shards or pieces of Zaul'Nazh's essence.

0:17:38 Rekha: I also contain pieces of his essence. Does this help?

0:17:42 Trapp: In the form of your child? Or just, uh-

0:17:44 Rekha: Mhm. I wouldn't sacrifice it, but I'm just saying.

0:17:48 Sokhbarr: I don't know if that's helpful.

0:17:49 Maggie: Oh, okay, I was just asking.

0:17:52 Efink: No, no, the vision I had was very clear that it would destroy something of Zaul'nazh in order to remake it.

0:17:59 Sokhbarr: Probably some kind of hammering against the anvil involved, I would guess.

0:18:02 Maggie: Oh great. I was just curious. Let's not do it.

0:18:05 Leiland: Wait, no, I think this is a very important conversation to have. You are for certain that you are with the lord's seed?

0:18:14 Maggie: Yeah, haven't you noticed I've been getting huger?

0:18:17 Efink: That's a gross way of saying it.

0:18:18 Sokhbarr: Really gross way of saying it.

0:18:19 Maggie: And please don't call it seed. It's fire.

0:18:20 Efink: It's a baby, all right?

0:18:21 Leiland: It's an archaic way of poetically expressing the continuation of a line. My apologies for being well read.

0:18:24 Efink: But poetically is a bit far.

0:18:26 Maggie: No, seed is disgusting.

0:18:29 Leiland: I admit it's a bit base, and I apologize. But...

0:18:30 Brennan: [bubbling] You guys see that walking through the passageway into the scary volcano, you guys see that the four other Vinguri arrive. Pactwraiths.  You see they walk in and Declan looks over and says-

0:18:46 Declan: [proper british accent] My word, Leiland, it is so hot in here. What are we doing all the way in the scary volcano?

0:18:52 Leiland: I know, it's a bit strange. First off, the rest of you, fantastic work. I have some: I have a very important mission. Very dangerous mission for our good friend Declan. The rest of you, perhaps maybe just keep a view of the Blood Keep. There's a lot of armies making their way into our realm, so I would very much appreciate you just holding down the fort for a bit.

0:19:13 Brennan: You see that all of them turn to look at each other and say-

0:19:15 Vinguri: There are armies making their way into our realms?

0:19:19 Leiland: Yes, a bit of a… bit of a misstep in the plan for today, but do not worry.

0:19:24 Brennan: You see that they turn to look at each other and say-

0:19:26 Vinguri: Does the Lord of Shadows know this?

0:19:27 Leiland: The Lord of Shadows is very well aware. And that is why Declan is to earn his wings today and to prove to the Lord of Shadow why he may surpass me.

0:19:41 Amy: Can we all slowly creep forward up to Declan?

0:19:46 Lilith: Such an honor, Declan.

0:19:46 Sokhbarr: Oh Declan you’re-

0:19:47 Maggie: Congrats. That's so nice for you.

0:19:49 Sokhbarr: Wonderful!

0:19:51 Efink: Very worthy.

0:19:53 Brennan: I'm gonna ask for a very important roll. I would like a Deception roll.

0:19:56 Matt: Yes, you may have one. 20. 15 plus 5.

0:20:08 Brennan: Wonderful. You see, uh, um, I'm going to make a little Insight check for them. Lovely. You guys see that the four of them, they have not caught onto there being any falsehood here, but you see that the four Vinguri all turn to look and they say,

0:20:29 Vinguri: Now, hold on a minute,

0:20:33 Brennan: And you see that Oswald speaks up and goes,

0:20:34 Oswald: [proper british accent] I'm dreadfully sorry, but I just want to make sure I understand. There are currently armies? You mean the ones amassed at the Door of Doom?

0:20:44 Leiland: Yes, the Door of Doom apparently has-: maybe we didn't hire the best architecture firm to design it, and it may have, in some places, fallen. So the best we can do for now is just to shore it up a bit, keep them at bay, and should Declan be successful in this very important deed, then victory is assured.

0:21:06 Declan: People keep talking about me doing a deed, and I'm not a hundo percent on what this deed actually is.

0:21:12 Leiland: Because if we tell the rest of the Vinguri they'll be jealous and wish to take the deed for themself. This is important, that only you find it to your ears.

0:21:21 Efink: But I will add the rest of you Vinguri, please stay alive just in case. (Brennan and Matt laugh)

0:21:32 Brennan: Wonderful. Ok. That Declan believes that something intense is going on, and also you're actually not lying about it being a noble sacrifice. But you see that they are weirded out about a solution that no one is telling them, so I'm gonna ask also for a Persuasion check to like, if they believe you is one thing, and then it's another thing for like--

0:21:58 Ify: I put my hands on his big giant arm and am like,

0:22:02 Markus: I got this, mate. Look, I know I'm new here. I know you guys probably don't trust a regular human, but we need you out there. We need you holding down the Door of Doom from a distance, on your wyverns, out of danger, for the time being.

0:22:21 Matt: I'm gonna be using my action to help him by being his hype man and going-

0:22:23 Leiland: Yeah! (Brennan laughs).

0:22:29 Markus: So everything, all these questions you're asking, you're holding up the process, and I'm, look, I have a business meeting with the lord himself in about five minutes, and if I have to go in there and tell him that the Vinguri were holding up the plan that he set forth--

0:22:46 Sokhbarr: I can hear the Gorgar national anthem playing in my head.

0:22:50 Brennan: They all sort of look at each other-

0:22:50 Leiland: What he said.

0:22:50 Brennan: And you see that Toby's like,

0:22:50 Toby: [deep British accent] Well that would be awful. The idea that the lord would think us unpatriotic.

0:22:58 Brennan: Go ahead and roll with advantage. Roll a Persuasion check with advantage.

0:23:05 Ify: What is going on? That's still gonna be 21.

0:23:10 Brennan: 21, cool. Awesome. So you see-

0:23:10 Amy: Not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

0:23:11 Brennan: That the other Vinguri say,

0:23:11 Vinguri: Well, this is dire news. To our wyverns, chaps, and to arms to arms. Should we alert the Bloodkeep that there are forces at work, that the Door of Doom has fallen?

0:23:25 Leiland: I would: It hasn't fallen, just sections of it.

0:23:27 Lilith: It's cracked. Cracked.

0:23:28 Leiland: Cracked is the right word. A bit structural disintegrity.

0:23:33 Efink: Slight setback.

0:23:34 Leiland: Yes, just be aware, and get some helmets that block the face. We don't want another incident, please. (music stops)

0:23:44 Brennan: Yeah, yes, Oswald says,

0:23:45 Oswald: No, no, we definitely don't.

0:23:46 Lilith: But Declan, we need you to stay behind.

0:23:48 Declan: Yes, of course.

0:23:50 Lilith: You're very important.

0:23:51 Declan: Alright.

0:23:52 Brennan: (wings flapping) You see the other three leave and Declan's here and he's like,

0:23:55 Declan: So, what is the plan?

0:23:57 Matt: I put my hand around his shoulder and lead him towards the edge of the anvil area, looking out over the Caldera and say-

0:24:04 Leiland: My friend, I want you to just imagine, before you,

0:24:07 Matt: As I step back,

0:24:10 Leiland: An entire army of undead Vinguri before you, under your command.

0:24:15 Matt: I'm basically doing the Of Mice and Men Lenny talk. (all laugh)  As I step back and we gather,

0:24:22 Leiland: See them all bow before you, their spirits all bound to your will. You see the flaming maw of the Lord of Shadows.

0:24:29 Declan: Yes, it's beautiful. Beautiful fiery mouth.

0:24:31 Leiland: It smiles to look down upon you.

0:24:34 Declan: Really?

0:24:35 Leiland: Yes, the voice crackles with glee.

0:24:37 Declan: Wonderful!

0:24:38 Leiland: It says (Zaul'nazh impression) you've done well, Declan.

0:24:43 Declan: I have, haven't I?

0:24:44 Leiland: (Zaul'nazh impression) You are my King Vinguri. (regular voice, hurried) Don't, no, keep looking forward.

0:24:53 Declan: But, Leiland, you are the King of the Vinguri.

0:24:57 Leiland: I may be, but not this day. This day you prove, in this moment, that you, right now, are truly the King of the Vinguri.

0:25:08 Amy: I'm gonna point to you, and there was that hammer by the anvil, so I'm gonna be,

0:25:11 Efink: like get that.

0:25:13 Brennan: You see he says,

0:25:13 Declan: What must I do to prove that I am worthy to be king?

0:25:18 Leiland: (slowly) You must prove, Rekha pantomiming sneaking forward.

0:25:18 Matt: And I'm like slowing down my words, (all laugh)

0:25:26 Leiland: (slowly) Your will to defeat the world of men by means of proving something beyond your understanding. Rekha swings the mimed hammer forward.

0:25:39 Erika: As she swings, I Vine Whip the crown on his head.

0:25:44 Matt: I plunge the rune blade into the base of the neck.

0:25:49 Brennan: Incredible. Okay! I thought I gave you guys enough battle, but let's fucking go for it. It was obviously a surprise round, so I will ask, Rekha, go ahead and make your like three hammer attacks, go ahead and make your attacks with your blade.

0:26:05 Amy: Can I have Ray of Enfeeblement-ed him too to prep him for--

0:26:07 Brennan: Yes, absolutely. You guys all have readied actions.

0:26:10 Amy: I'm sorry, no, not Ray of Enfeeblement, the other thing. The vulnerable thing.

0:26:13 Rekha: We're just rolling?

0:26:14 Matt: Yeah, the three attacks if you wanna rage. Well, actually if you're raging it’s a bonus action so you get two.

0:26:19 Brennan: Oh, that makes sense. So actually you're just gonna do two attacks.

0:26:21 Rekha: Okay, cool, so, 15 plus 11 is 26, and then 12 plus 11, 23.

0:26:25 Brennan: You hit both times.

0:26:27 Amy: Times two because of the- I meant Path to the Grave where I make it vulnerable.

0:26:33 Brennan: Oh, okay, so it's double damage on this? Cool, so you're gonna roll 9d6 plus 18.

0:26:42 Amy: Oh, that was to hit, sorry.

0:26:43 Brennan: Yes, gotcha.

0:26:45 Rekha: Great, 9d6 plus...

0:26:47 Trapp: Do you need some d6?

0:26:47 Rekha: Do I- I need any more d6, if that's cool.

0:26:49 Brennan: Oh yeah, go for it. Brennan and Matt hand her dice.

0:26:50 Rekha: Thank you. Thank you.

0:27:00 Brennan: Excellent.

0:27:05 Rekha: 4, 6, 10, 4, 5, 15, 20, 21, 27, 20, 29, 32.

0:27:10 Trapp: Plus 18, did you do the plus 18?

0:27:11 Rekha: Oh, plus 18. 32 plus 18, 50.

0:27:13 Brennan: 32 plus 18, 50 damage? Jesus.

0:27:17 Trapp: Do we have any idea if this is how this works?

0:27:20 Brennan: You're just wailing on this dude. Cool. He's still up. 50 is not enough to take out a Vinguri, but--

0:27:27 Matt: 23 and 20?

0:27:28 Brennan: What’s that?

0:27:28 Matt: 23 and 20 are the two-

0:27:28 Brennan: Both hit.

0:27:32 Matt: That is, oooh, that is 27 points of damage, and 23 points of damage.

0:27:40 Brennan: 27 and 23, is that 60?

0:27:42 Matt: No, that is 50.

0:27:46 Brennan: 50. So that is 50, 50. You did an equal amount of damage. That's crazy. So you guys like [stabbing] [whooshing] and you can see rippling void energy.

0:27:54 Amy: Wasn't that times two though? 50 was times two?

0:27:56 Brennan: No, one of the attacks was- it was only one of them times two. That's why I said 9d6.

0:27:59 Amy: Got it, got it.

0:28:01 Brennan: Wait a minute-

0:28:03 Rekha: Was I raging?

0:28:04 Brennan: You were not raging.

0:28:06 Rekha: Sorry, what were you gonna say?

0:28:07 Brennan: You're all groovy. Vinguri's still standing, Thorn Whip. How much damage is Thorn Whip?

0:28:13 Erika: Specifically for the crown so I have to make, I have to do a melee attack to hit.

0:28:21 Brennan: Yes, go ahead and make your attack.

0:28:23 Trapp: Are you trying to like yank it off his head or something?

0:28:23 Erika: Yes, yeah.

0:28:24 Brennan: Go ahead and make your attack roll.

0:28:27 Rekha: To be clear, we're beating the shit out of Declan for his crown?

0:28:31 Brennan: Yeah.

0:28:32 Erika: 7.

0:28:33 Matt: Not giving him mine.

0:28:35 Erika: 27, is that how that works?

0:28:36 Brennan: Yeah, it should be plus your spell attack bonus, which is just your-

0:28:38 Erika: Yeah, yeah, 27.

0:28:40 Brennan: Cool. You hit. I'm gonna say go ahead-- does it say when you're yanking something that it's opposed strength or anything like that?

0:28:47 Erika: No, it's just normally you pull the creature up to 10 feet closer to you. It doesn't say anything about targeting an item.

0:28:51 Brennan: Cool.

0:28:54 Erika: Plus there's piercing damage normally.

0:28:56 Brennan: Oh, there is, do your piercing damage. Do the normal damage, yeah.

0:29:01 Efink: I guess you should have already replaced the visor.

0:29:07 Erika: 14.

0:29:09 Brennan: These guys have 110 hitpoints. So you see that rippling void energy. His helmet starts to, like, collapse onto his head as you [boom] just blow out the midsection of his breastplate, and you [whip] rend the crown off his head. Declan’s crown [clatter] clatters to the ground next to you and you can see [whoosh] his body is destroyed, and you can see already those swirls of smoke of his body start to reform from the circlet.

0:29:39 Matt: Go ahead and grab the circlet.

0:29:41 Leiland: Well friends, let us remember the mighty sacrifice of Declan this day.

0:29:44 Efink: Yes, yes, yes.

0:29:48 Leiland: You've done well, you sorry little piece of shit.

0:29:53 Sokhbarr: We've got your hat now!

0:29:55 Matt: Walking back towards the anvil--

0:29:56 Sokhbarr: Ya dumb nerd.

0:29:57 Matt: Place it on the metal. Now on the knowledge we've seen of how it can reforge, and indeed from what you've maybe glistened and I from the book as well, in shattering this is we don't want to make sure we lose the essence of the shadow lord.

0:30:11 Brennan: This is a great question. And you already rolled very high and you did a full Legend Lore spell, so I'm not gonna, like, conceal information from you guys. There is a reason that the elves guarded crownsmithing so jealously. There is a tremendous skill to it. So you guys are gonna be making rolls with blacksmithing proficiency, with a tool proficiency, and there is a potential- I would feel worse about saying this if you didn't merc Declan so ruthlessly [all laugh] and so quickly, and if you didn't have three other Vinguri to go through, but very sadly for Declan there is a very real chance if you do a bad job making the crown, that his sacrifice will be in vain. So you've got a like action. It's not just like yeah just fucking silly putty like make a fucking crown. No you have to do the runes correctly, you have to forge it well. You have the book here with you, so you guys know how to do the shit. You can try to make the crown, and in that time you guys probably also can like take a short rest if you need to.

0:31:15 Amy: That would be great.

0:31:16 Matt: That would be fantastic.

0:31:17 Amy: I do want to ask Percival,

0:31:20 Efink: You say you can build a mean lean-to. You ever build a hat?

0:31:26 Percival: Build a hat?

0:31:29 Sokhbarr: Yeah, that phrasing's a little weird.

0:31:31 Maggie: Forge a hat. Forge a crown.

0:31:34 Efink: Have you ever beat anything into submission so hard that it became something else?

0:31:37 Sokhbarr: I don't know if I fully trust--

0:31:39 Leiland: Yes, the man can barely feed himself. I'm not entirely certain--

0:31:43 Percival: Hey, I can feed myself. That's how I know to do that.

0:31:46 Trapp: He also tried to kill us not 15 minutes ago.

0:31:51 Efink: Right, He is a king though, so.

0:31:53 Leiland: He can work a bellows.

0:31:54 Lilith: He's an utter rube. What do you mean just because he wears a crown means he can make a crown? Think about what you're saying.

0:32:01 Maggie: Well, can you?

0:32:03 Efnik: I mean yes, answer the question, just please.

0:32:07 Percival: I can make a lean-to and I know how to make a platform in a tree, so you can sleep in a tree if you're goin deer hunting.

0:32:15 Maggie: Where is this going?

0:32:17 Efink: Why don't you go and have a snack? Baby.

0:32:19 Lilith: I hate you so much.

0:32:22 Percival: Hey you got more legs than normal for a lady.

0:32:27 Maggie: Okay, you need to go. [All Laugh, Crosstalk]

0:32:33 Maggie: Please don't talk to anyone.

0:32:35 Efink: He's problematic for sure.

0:32:36 Leiland: Anyone here with experience with smithing tools at all? Proclivity towards forging?

0:32:43 Lilith: Not even a little bit.

0:32:45 Maggie: Any of your kids in school for that?

0:32:47 Trapp: You mentioned a short rest. That recovers HP and spell slots?

0:32:51 Brennan: Yeah, so if you guys want to stay here and try to forge you can take a short rest, but right now you guys are still discussing what everybody gonna try to do.

0:32:54 Trapp: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:32:58 Matt: I think we should try.

0:32:59 Maggie: Where's John?

0:33:00 Markus: I'm open to trying, and also I am a thief, so I work with traps and things like that.

0:33:07 Lilith: Or perhaps is there a craftsmen locally that we know might be able to help us?

0:33:13 Maggie: John, do you know anyone?

0:33:14 Brennan: John looks up and says,

0:33:14 John: yeah, well of course there is. There's craftsmen beyond here.

0:33:21 Sokhbarr: You think Ipskix would be good at this?

0:33:22 Lilith: It involves beatings. You're right.

0:33:26 Brennan: (laughs) Any of you guys actually can feel free to go ahead and make just a flat Intelligence check.

0:33:35 Matt: Natural 20.

0:33:36 Brennan: Natural 20.

0:33:38 Rekha: So you add--?

0:33:40 Matt: 22 total.

0:33:43 Trapp: 6 for me.

0:33:44 Erika: 12.

0:33:45 Amy: 9.

0:33:45 Rekha: 19.

0:33:48 Ify: 23.

0:33:50 Brennan: You remember a long long time ago, as you're thinking about-- the concept of Ipskix comes up, there's plenty of orcs that know how to forge shit. Like, honestly they probably do a better job than you guys, but then of course that represents issues of can you get an orc that knows how to forge a crown that would know how to forge this crown in this book? But combining arcana with smithing is a very narrow Venn diagram, right? For the people in the Blood Keep. You know, way north of here, beyond Gorgar, back in Karradkar, in the fortress deep in the haunted woods, that there were a number of oubliettes. Prison cells that people were meant to be thrown into, locked, and forgotten about. And you used to throw a lot of elves in there way back in the day when you guys were riding further afield and the armies were way farther than just Gorgar, that there is a sort of high-mountain elf with this cloud citadel of crownsmiths and mithril armorers, there was this guy named Avanash. Avanash was one of the people that had a small piece of crownlore that they would not share. That they would not share with Zaul'nazh. And so they were put in the oubliette to dwell there and just forget. But suddenly in your head you remember that if no one has fucked with Karradkar and why would they, it's sort of abandoned and deserted out there in the woods, there is somebody out there in the world that actually knows how to do specifically this. That might not work on the timetable you guys were considering, but there is something to that. So you know one-- your basically that nat 20 gets you-- your best option is go find the best orc at forging who's still in the blood keep if you want to do a rush job, or there's somebody out in the world, far from here but not too far, that could potentially do the exact job that you're talking about.

0:36:09 Matt: I relay this information to the group and be like,

0:36:10 Leiland: So, choices.

0:36:10 Lilith: Well, the question is if we have that kind of time, because the blood keep is crumbling as we speak.

0:36:16 Leiland: Yes, yes. Well, maybe rush job?

0:36:23 Efink: I say we get a rush job.

0:36:25 Lilith: Two orcs, who--

0:36:25 Efink: I absolutely believe.

0:36:27 Lilith: Who might be able to do some sort of a patch job.

0:36:30 Efink: Yes, what is better than one orc?

0:36:32 Rekha: How long is it that it would take to get to Karradkar?

0:36:37 Brennan: To get to Karradkar--

0:36:38 Rekha: And how long on eagle?

0:36:39 Matt: At the speed the eagle flies.

0:36:40 Lilith: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

0:36:46 Rekha: Brennan shut up.

0:36:48 Sokhbarr: We’re waiting.

0:36:49 Lilith: We all have been there before, yes?

0:36:52 Leiland: Yes we have.

0:36:53 Lilith: And there were quite a lot of webs there that I left. Well you see I have something where we can be transported via my webs as long as anywhere on this plane as long as we've touched them before.

0:37:07 Maggie: The interweb.

0:37:10 Lilith: An interweb if you will, yes.

0:37:14 Leiland: You are brilliant.

0:37:14 Efink: Well I definitely touched your webs when we were there. I think we all did, right? We all touched the webs?

0:37:20 Lilith: It's fun to do. It's a great consistency.

0:37:23 Leiland: It's also a very interesting texture.

0:37:25 Lilith: Yes, it's very relaxing.

0:37:26 Sokhbarr: It’s sticky.

0:37:26 Efink: It's sticky but then it doesn't actually stick to your skin.

0:37:30 Leiland: Yes, that's great, we should do that.

0:37:32 Brennan: Hell yeah!

0:37:34 Efink: It's both rush and precision job.

0:37:36 Trapp: This feels like cheating. I love it. [laughter]

0:37:41 Matt: It ruins a four man.

0:37:46 Brennan: Your children spin this massive web before you. You guys look at these shimmering thick ropes of spiderwebs around you. And it collapses before you and sort of the distance telescopes out and you are looking at a similar extension of the Bloodkeep. Its outpost fortress of Karradkar deep in the northern forests and it is open to you.

0:38:19 Lilith: Shall we?

0:38:20 Leiland: I think we shall.

0:38:21 Maggie: Yes.

0:38:22 Matt: I take the crown with me.

0:38:24 Brennan: Great. Grab the crown.

0:38:25 Rekha: Grab the anvil.

0:38:26 Trapp: To be clear, or maybe we don't know this, or I can do a check if we have to. There's a time limit on the crown itself? Like that is like a time bomb? That is expiring? Or the time limit mentioned was just the Bloodkeep starting to collapse?

0:38:38 Matt: I think it's before Declan reincorporates. I think we have plenty of time.

0:38:42 Brennan: Takes a while for you guys to reincorporate. It's at minimum like a day.

0:38:49 Amy: Also, again, I don't know if we know this, but if the Bloodkeep crumbles, is that related to the mountain and the forge also crumbling?

0:38:59 Brennan: Potentially. So like the forge could crumble, the mountain could crumble. If the Bloodkeep crumbles-- The question mark in all of this is the rate at which things are decaying appears to be a little bit slower but still happening. There is a possibility for example that the circlets could break and destroy. That they might just be like tenacious in hanging on, but much like the Bloodkeep, the foundations are wearing thin and slowly breaking down. Time is of the essence, but that doesn't mean that you need to panic and run around in circles. You have some time, very little, but you have time to make the decisions you need to make. So you guys follow Lilith, and you appear in the keep of Karradkar.

0:39:50 Erika: A bunch of children jump onto my back like

0:39:52 Spider Children: Are we there yet, Mom?

0:39:56 Efink: Percival can't come, can he?

0:39:58 Lilith: We just left.

0:40:00 Brennan: So as many creatures as can walk into this web in a single round can move through it.

0:40:06 Sokhbarr: Should we leave old hamhead here or are we concerned about her at all or do we bring her with us?

0:40:13 Leiland: We're taking hamhead.

0:40:14 Efink: Take hamhead.

0:40:15 Maggie: We're taking the eagle, we're taking ham, we're taking the anvil,

0:40:17 Efink: Percival

0:40:18 Maggie: we're taking the crown.

0:40:19 Efink: The king.

0:40:20 Leiland: Everyone on the bus.

0:40:22 Efink: We're taking the king.

0:40:22 Lilith: We're taking your ex husband.

0:40:23 Rekha: Do those items transfer?

0:40:25 Brennan: You guys can bring the anvil and the crown and all that shit through. Pretty much the only people that can carry the anvil are like Maggie and Lilith for the most part, but you guys like [struggle).

0:40:38 Lilith: All right, okay, it was a weird angle.

0:40:40 Maggie: Pivot, pivot, pivot

0:40:40 Sokhbarr: Turn a bit, turn a bit, turn a bit. Okay you're good.

0:40:49 Brennan: You guys come through along with Stalker who's still holding Galafast Hamhead and John Feathers, and so many spiders who immediately jump off and they're like

0:41:02 Spider Children: field trip, field trip.

0:41:05 Brennan: Sort of running around.

0:41:07 Lilith: Stay close, children.

0:41:08 Brennan: You see Jason goes,

0:41:10 Jason: Whoa, oh my god, this place is like [sniffs], the air is so clean here. I can smell like squirrels and like beasts and stuff out here.

0:41:18 Brennan: You see a bunch of spiders are like looking out at the forest and you see that Jason, who you've never seen be excited before, is like,

0:41:22 Jason: Mom, there's like tons of animals and stuff out here.

0:41:26 Lilith: Yes, lots of things to consume.

0:41:31 Brennan: You see that he looks out and Jessa even looks out and goes

0:41:32 Jessa: Wow, I bet you could like really spin some huge webs in between these trees, like you pretty much have to be in caves to make like a big web in Gorgar. Out here in these woods you can make all kinds of webs.

0:41:47 Lilith: Well, when you move out on your own all this could be yours. We can blacken the land with our brethren.

0:41:54 Brennan: You see that they all go,

0:41:54 Spider Children: Yay!

0:41:54 Brennan: and kind of skitter out.

0:41:58 Sokhbarr: This is why your mother's working so hard on all this stuff.

0:42:00 Ify: While--

0:42:00 Lilith: It's true, I just wanted to provide for them.

0:42:04 Ify: Jason's going off about how cool the woods are, I look between him and Efink's husband like

0:42:10 Markus: That's your thing. You're not gon' pitch this forest people?

0:42:15 Maggie: The woods? Yeah.

0:42:18 Markus: The woods, that's your thing.

0:42:18 Stalker: The woods are great. You get out there in nature and you're sleeping on the ground and--

0:42:24 Efink: Wait, what did you ask him to do just now? Why are you asking him to speak?

0:42:29 Markus: The kids seemed excited. He got stories about the woods.

0:42:34 Sokhbarr: We're all dying to hear another story from Stalker. (all laugh)

0:42:39 Sokhbarr: It's a riveting tale every time.

0:42:43 Maggie: Well, Sokhbarr, aren't you excited by the animals that are in this wood?

0:42:45 Efink: Oh do you know who would have loved these? The two guards outside of--

0:42:49 Maggie: [Rekha] Hobbert and Frod?

0:42:49 Sokhbarr: Hobbert and Frod?

0:42:51 Efink: Hobart and Krod? Froddy? Hobart? Yes, them.

0:42:55 Brennan: Yes, them, yes. You see that Stalker goes,

0:43:02 Stalker: The woods are a place where you can go out and be by yourself. You don't have to think about how you're descended from a famous king or empress and then you can see a bird.

0:43:15 Sokhbarr: All right.

0:43:17 Lilith: Why don't you go play with uncle Stalker?

0:43:20 Erika: And a bunch of them immediately swarm.

0:43:22 Brennan: [yells] Spiders swarm all over them.

0:43:26 Stalker: Ah, that's not bad.

0:43:29 Brennan: Wonderful. You guys are here in Karradkar. Whoever wants to go look for Avanash can make an investigation check.

0:43:39 Trapp: It wasn't any of us who put him there, right?

0:43:41 Brennan: It was such a long time ago.

0:43:44 Trapp: It's an oubliette. You forget. [Brennan laughs]

0:43:47 Matt: 15.

0:43:48 Amy: 11.

0:43:49 Trapp: Sorry, this is an Investigation? Then I have 12.

0:43:51 Rekha: 9.

0:43:54 Ify: 13.

0:43:55 Amy: But I do have find-- no I don't have a Find the Path spell.

0:44:01 Brennan: You can also make a search for J’er’em’ih if you'd like.

0:44:02 Trapp: Oh, sure that'd be fun. Couldn't be smell, could it? Could I sniff him out?

0:44:09 Brennan: Sure. He's got advantage on that.

0:44:11 Trapp: He's got advantage on Perception checks of smell. First roll is 17. The second one is 2. Let's go with that 17.

0:44:20 Brennan: Wonderful. 17 flat or adjusted

0:44:23 Trapp: Oh, what's his modifier?

0:44:26 Brennan: I think you're gonna add his Wisdom modifier there.

0:44:28 Trapp: Oh, so then 18.

0:44:29 Brennan: Awesome.

0:44:31 Erika: I have a 16.

0:44:32 Trapp: Wait, Investigation is Intelligence, yeah?

0:44:33 Brennan: Oh no, sorry, it would be Intelligence.

0:44:35 Trapp: Then minus 4. (laughter)

0:44:39 Trapp: So not 17, 13.

0:44:44 Amy: Or negative 2.

0:44:44 Brennan: He's like scratching his butt hands on the walls and making little marks in places. You guys search the room for a long time. I'm afraid that--

0:44:54 Amy: If that's a negative, well, you keep going.

0:44:58 Brennan: I'll roll for--

0:44:59 Amy: I do have a divination ritual that I can just ask her father and he has to give me the right response.

0:45:10 Brennan: Oh, yeah, for sure.

0:45:11 Amy: Only as an action, so it doesn't take very long, but it is a simple reply.

0:45:17 Rekha: Ask him if he'd rather have had a son.

0:45:19 Brennan: What spell is it?

0:45:20 Amy: It's divination.

0:45:22 Brennan: Divination, great.

0:45:23 Amy: And it's with a god or a god's servant. Oh my god, what if I like I'm asking and it's you? Some version of you just have the answer. Okay, so I take my staff and I kind of circle it on the ground and say,

0:45:44 Efink: Oh, oh dark evil bone lord of the darkness, where is Avanash? [heavy breathing] [plume of flame]

0:45:59 Brennan: And you see that a ring of flame appears in front of you. And you see that there is a vast infernal chamber outside of which there is a lake of fire in the realms of nightmare, and you see that Gogmoth, enormous, is sort of sitting in a massive towering throne, and you see that there's like a little table in between him and Zaul'nazh, and that Zaul'nazh is just like hunkered over in a chair like this, and he's got like a little thing of tissues next to him.

0:46:32 Efink: Oh god, I hate seeing this.

0:46:34 Brennan: And you see that Gogmoth looks up and says

0:46:41 Gogmoth: Servant, how's it going out there?

0:46:46 Efink: Hi.

0:46:47 Gogmoth: Obviously I'm-- bring on the bad news.

0:46:51 Efink: Right, but it's not all bad, and we're thinking of getting Zaul'nazh back, and also we're kind of in control because we do have the king. The true king with us. Married to me secretly, so not as bad as it all looks.

0:47:07 Gogmoth: Well, congrats.

0:47:09 Efink: Thank you. Where is Avanash?

0:47:12 Gogmoth: Hold on. [screams] Okay, you're gonna go down the hallway on your left.

0:47:21 Amy: Oh my god.

0:47:21 Gogmoth: Go down the hallway on your left--

0:47:23 Efink: Let me write this down.

0:47:24 Gogmoth: And then there's a secret door. There's like a spar that looks like it's a rafter, but it's actually a spar and you just pull that down and it's gonna open up and there'll be a chamber of oubliettes. Third on the left, that's your guy.

0:47:36 Efink: Third on the left. Are there more? The third person on the left?

0:47:42 Trapp: The third door.

0:47:43 Amy: Oh, the third door.

0:47:44 Sokhbarr: We've put a lot of people there.

0:47:46 Efink: Oh, I didn't know if you were stacking people, got it. Well thank you.

0:47:50 Sokhbarr: They're always lain arranged in a line.

0:47:53 Efink: I do have Maggie here with me--

0:47:57 Gogmoth: Sweetheart.

0:47:58 Maggie: Hi, dad, hi. [guttural growl]

0:48:01 Lilith: Why don't you tell him the news. Maybe this will change his mind about the whole maternity leave policy he didn't have when I was working for him.

0:48:07 Gogmoth: What news is that?

0:48:09 Maggie: Dad, are you sitting?

0:48:12 Gogmoth: I'm sitting.

0:48:13 Maggie: I am pregnant.

0:48:18 Brennan: [wailing] Flaming tears fall down his face.

0:48:23 Gogmoth: Wait a minute. Show me your hands.

0:48:27 Maggie: No.

0:48:28 Gogmoth: Show me your hands.

0:48:30 Maggie: No.

0:48:31 Gogmoth: Show me your hands.

0:48:32 Maggie: Fine, dad, there's no ring!

0:48:34 Gogmoth: You motherfucker!

0:48:37 Brennan: And you see he takes a huge hoof and kicks Zaul'nazh in the chest.

0:48:42 Maggie: No!

0:48:43 Brennan: And you see he goes,

0:48:43 Zaul’Nazh: Ah, my lord,

0:48:44 Maggie: No!

0:48:45 Brennan: He goes,

0:48:45 Gogmoth: Dumb ass piece of shit, you motherfucker. (punching) Fuck you. You stupid asshole.

0:48:51 Maggie: You're acting like a cartoon father.

0:48:52 Brennan: The flame disappears.

0:48:52 Maggie: No!

0:48:53 Efink: Okay, down the hall, on the left, sorry, that was a bad.

0:48:56 Erika: Lilith takes a huge swig,

0:48:59 Lilith: Honestly though it's so traditional.

0:49:00 Sokhbarr: That might have been Maggie's call whether or not to share that. I don't know if that was really your place.

0:49:07 Markus: You could close up that flame portal soon.

0:49:09 Efink: I wanted to have the opportunity and honestly I wanted her to just cheer up Zaul'nazh 'cause that was sad and pathetic there.

0:49:17 Sokhbarr: Congratulations by the way. I think during the mess of everyone dying we never really said congratulations.

0:49:21 MAggie: Thank you. Thank you

0:49:21 Markus: Congratulations.

0:49:22 Maggie: My fucking god.

0:49:26 Efink: He overreacted. He overreacted, and it came from a place of love. He's just protecting you.

0:49:30 Maggie: Sure. I'm sure he's praying for a grandson. Goddamn.

0:49:34 Lilith: Should we plan a baby shower? Is that an appropriate thing for a coworker to do?  Is it a surprise?

0:49:40 Sokhbarr: Yeah, that's like a weird--

0:49:42 Efink: Well let's get Aberdash to hammer something.

0:49:44 Sokhbarr: Yeah, sure, yeah.

0:49:44 Lilith: Yes, that'll be nice.

0:49:47 Efink: Okay, so down the hall, to the left.

0:49:50 Sokhbarr: Pull the pin, then go to the third door on the left.

0:49:51 Brennan: You're used to very cryptic messages and this was real straightforward for once. You go down, you find these oubliettes, and again, you open this strange stone door, there's a hanging chain and a winch next to it, and submerged deep in like an underground river, you see that there is this like hanging kind of like crow gibbet, you know like those little like metal hinges that you would hang someone in, so there's a part of this oubliette that just goes into water, so there's like this elven smith who's been in a cage with just enough, like he has to stand to keep his nose above water, and had been like that for the past about 250 years.

0:50:34 Efink: Another wet elf. [laughter]

0:50:39 Brennan: You guys crank him up and you see he looks at you guys and the Avanash looks up and goes-- And there's no beard. You get a sense that if he had been human a crazy beard would have grown, but elves don't have facial hair like that so there's no crazy beard, but his hair is just insane, and he has this like weird branded mark on him that keeps him alive without food. So he's just been there alive and unsleeping for so long, and he just comes up. And anyone can make an Insight check that wants to.

0:51:13 Matt: I'll leave that.

0:51:16 Trapp: Oh, nat 20.

0:51:17 Amy: Yay.

0:51:18 Brennan: You look at this guy. This dude is full crazy. [laughter]

0:51:27 Brennan: He is full crazy. He's been in a river in a cage in a box in a stone cave for 250 years. He comes up, but what everyone else sees is he just comes up and goes,

0:51:37 Avanash: Oh, hey.

0:51:42 Sokhbarr: Yeah, guys, I don't know about this.

0:51:44 Maggie: Why? He seems nice.

0:51:46 Efink: You seem like somebody I would have married a long time ago.

0:51:50 Lilith: You just are the worst picker. It's broken.

0:51:54 Avanash: So I see this is happening again. Hello.

0:52:00 Leiland: Hello.

0:52:01 Avanash: Oh, Kraz-thun the Umber Knight.

0:52:03 Leiland: Indeed.

0:52:04 Avanash: Hello.

0:52:07 Maggie: Why are they talking so softly?

0:52:09 Lilith: This is deeply unsettling.

0:52:11 Erika: And I cast Geas on him.

0:52:14 Multiple: What is that?

0:52:15 Rekha: I beat the shit out of him.

0:52:19 Erika: I force him to carry out some service or refrain from some action or course of activity that I decide. And then he must succeed in a Wisdom saving throw or become charmed for the duration. And the duration is 30 days.

0:52:31 Brennan: Cool. He looks up at you and he says,

0:52:32 Avanash: Good to see you. You put me in that cage and I don't remember who I was or anything about before the cage.

0:52:42 Sokhbarr: You remember nothing.

0:52:43 Leiland: I will tell you everything before the cage. Not that great, really. Not worth remembering. We're here to remake you a new future.

0:52:52 Avanash: Okay, wow, you are the most stunning woman I have ever seen.

0:52:56 Lilith: Why thank you. Avanash, we have need of your services. You know quite a bit a lot about crowns, crown lore. Erika swings her finger near her head, signalling a crown. It is also a euphemism for ‘crazy’.

0:53:05 Efink: Don't make this gesture at him, though. (Matt, Ify, and Amy laugh)

0:53:10 Lilith: I'm so sorry.

0:53:11 Sokhbarr: Is it an issue if he doesn't remember anything from before the cage?

0:53:14 Efink: Oh gosh.

0:53:16 Brennan: He looks at you and says,

0:53:16 Avanash: Okay, so you want me to--

0:53:21 Lilith: I'm going to need you to help forging a new crown with the soul of a dark lord in it.

0:53:28 Avanash: Okay, yeah, great.

0:53:30 Maggie: Do you remember?

0:53:32 Sokhbarr: Do you actually remember how to do that?

0:53:33 Maggie: Because it's like a muscle memory. Maybe moreso than like a memory memory.

0:53:37 Efink: It looks like this.

0:53:39 Sokhbarr: I fully believe this guy's gonna smash this thing to hell.

0:53:43 Maggie: You don't think people who fall off the bike and they get amnesia but they still remember how to ride the bike?

0:53:48 Sokhbarr: Do you think this is a better bet here than with an orc?

0:53:54 Efink: No, but when you said that you knew that we could either choose an orc back at the keep or this person, and it was present tense that he could do it.

0:54:05 Leiland: Correct. He is the only individual with the knowledge to do exactly what we need with very little margin of error.

0:54:13 Brennan: You see that Avanash looks up and says,

0:54:15 Avanash: Well, I'm looking at that. That looks like a standard magical crown. Looks like sort of similar to your circlet here, which is great. I should be able to bang that out no problem. I guess my only query I would raise is how are you going to keep my bones?

0:54:37 Lilith: I beg your pardon. I don't quite understand.

0:54:39 Avanash: Will you keep them, or will the river take them?

0:54:42 Maggie: Can you elaborate?

0:54:43 Sokhbarr: So again--

0:54:46 Lilith: Just hang on just a moment.

0:54:48 Sokhbarr: I've said enough, but I think our position is clear.

0:54:51 Avanash: Sorry am I being unclear? I'm worried about my bones.

0:54:55 Maggie: What do your bones have to do?

0:54:59 Avanash: Are you them? What?

0:55:02 Sokhbarr: I think you are fully talking to a-- I think you would have better luck talking to this wall than you would--

0:55:08 Efink: I think we bring Percival in here, and we have a little tête à tête.

0:55:12 Markus: I will take care of your bones. I will be the watcher of bones. I got your bones on lock.

0:55:17 Efink: I have a bone that I love very much.

0:55:21 Sokhbarr: Why do we think this guy can do anything? Why are we asking about his bones?

0:55:27 Efink: Because Leiland told us.

0:55:29 Leiland: I look, I don't mean to undermine your life experience, but you are very good at things that are furry and full of shit.

0:55:37 Sokhbarr: Thank you, thank you.

0:55:37 Leiland: I spent a lot of time near a crown. So I'm gonna do my best here. If you're worried about the water taking your bones, let me assure you, where we're taking you there is not really a lot of water. Because there won't be able to. Much drier.

0:55:49 Efink: I'd be the only wet thing there.

0:55:52 Leiland: And we'd keep you far from her.

0:55:53 Lilith: That's sort of her thing, yes.

0:55:55 Brennan: You see that Avanash looks at you and says,

0:56:00 Avanash: Listen, there's a lot going on here. I'm a little bit rattled. I know that I'm not at my best right now. I understand that. So I'm happy to make this crown. The schematics are very clear. You've laid that out. I am gonna need raw materials. I'm gonna need something that has a piece of his essence in it.

0:56:18 Leiland: That has already been at the ready.

0:56:19 Lilith: Yes, we've got that.

0:56:20 Efink: This feels good, yes.

0:56:21 Markus: All right, you sound like-

0:56:21 Lilith: See, see? you know what you're doing.

0:56:24 Avanash: And then what I need from each of you as a promise is that if anything happens to my bones I get your bones.

0:56:28 Markus: Yeah.

0:56:29 Maggie: And what do you think will happen-- What is the A to B on making this at your bones going somewhere?

0:56:37 Amy: Is he standing in the cage? Like is he upright and sturdy? What's going on with his body?

0:56:42 Brennan: You've opened the door but he has not like left the cage yet. So you like have it out on the ledge.

0:56:46 Amy: I poke him. Are there bones in him?

0:56:48 Brennan: You poke him and he goes,

0:56:50 Avanash: [Nervous laughter] What does this lady think she is, a river? [yelling] Help!

0:56:56 Maggie: I would like to leave.

0:57:00 Sokhbarr: I don't know if-- I think this guy-- I wouldn't trust this guy with a pair of tweezers, let alone to make a crown that only a master artificer would make.

0:57:13 Efink: You know what? What you're doing, finding problems. We're a solution based team at the moment.

0:57:18 Sokhbarr: All I'm saying is I'm not gonna promise him my bones. Ify rolls his dice on the side, then looks up at Brennan

0:57:22 Erika: What was that for? Oh no.

0:57:26 Brennan: Lovely. Can you give me a stealth roll as well?

0:57:36 Ify: 20.

0:57:39 Brennan: Does anyone here have a passive perception? Actually, I can answer this question for myself. Lilith and Efink. As you guys are talking to Avanash, both of you guys think out of the corner of your eye, you catch Markus's hand going for the crown (Rekha gasps) for a quick second. Nobody else notices that, but Efink and Lilith both do.

0:58:04 Erika: Lilith scuttles around.

0:58:06 Lilith: What in the hell, Markus? What in the hell are you doing? What are you doing?

0:58:12 Markus: What are you talking about?

0:58:14 Lilith: What is this?

0:58:16 Markus: This is a cloak. These are gold jewels on my ring.

0:58:21 Efink: Markus, to what end? To what end are you stealing the crown of Declan? There, I said it.

0:58:29 Markus: I mean, if you're gonna snitch me out.

0:58:30 Efink: Yeah, I'm going to snitch you out.

0:58:31 Markus: I was gonna--

0:58:32 Efink: We already have one indiscriminate crazy character. What the fuck are you doing?

0:58:36 Markus: Well I was gonna switch out the crown so that y'all wouldn't ruin the actual crown by letting this crazy guy touch it.

0:58:42 Efink: You're against him?

0:58:43 Markus: Yes.

0:58:44 Efink: There's no other person-- all right.

0:58:46 Markus: Look, I'm willing to check up with Gorg and Gorm down in the--

0:58:50 Avanash: What is crazy about wanting your bones? (Ify laughs)

0:58:57 Rekha: How can we-- like you already determined he's crazy, right?

0:59:01 Trapp: He's crazy. He's full crazy. I don't know if he's-- I don't know if he's so capable.

0:59:04 Rekha: Dangerous?

0:59:05 Trapp: I don't know if he's still capable, but he's not of sound--

0:59:08 Lilith: I'd just like to throw this out there really quick. Should we use the word unwell? Because I think--

0:59:13 Maggie: It's pretty, it's yeah, able, there's something going on. I agree.

0:59:18 Lilith: It seems a little nitpicky at this point in our careers, but just it's making me a little uncomfortable.

0:59:22 Maggie: I think that's great.

0:59:23 Lilith: Yes, and I-- Avanash, how well, capable do you think your are at this sort of task?

0:59:35 Markus: Are you seriously asking a crazy person how normal he thinks he is?

0:59:39 Lilith: Unwell.

0:59:41 Avanash: I would say this. Intelligence and competence is domain specific. Crafting crowns, I feel very capable, protecting my bones, I don't feel capable.

0:59:51 Lilith: Okay, it seems like the crown part of things are pretty covered.

0:59:57 Efink: What the fuck?

0:59:59 Lilith: 98% confident.

1:00:01 Efink: I don't know.

1:00:05 Markus: I know the way we'll handle this. What are the first five things you're gonna do to make that crown?

1:00:11 Avanash: Well, you're going to have to get a fire going, which I don't think we have the ability to do here in Karradkar, 'cause the forges are defunct here, so you need to go somewhere with an active forge that has equipment that I need to use, we'll smelt the crown down. We're gonna have to get a crucible that's reinforced with these same sort of patterns of arcane runes here. Once we melt that down we'll be able to pour that back out, and then I'll take that, cool it, and then we'll do a process of beating that into shape, which will take a process of a couple hours, and while I’m beating into shape I can start to inlay the basics of the runes and any gems that you wanna put in there cosmetically. I don't know if you want cosmetic additions to the crown or if you just want the most basic version, and then at a certain point, I guess I'll just, throughout that process, be tempering. I'll need fresh water, and I'll just try to keep my bones. And other than that, that's-- (all snicker)

1:01:04 Efink: Hypothetically, what is the worst thing that you can imagine happening to your bones?

1:01:11 Lilith: I'd say he's worried about the river taking them.

1:01:14 Sokhbarr: I can't believe we're entertaining this conversation with this man for this long.

1:01:19 Efink: You know me. I married Percival. I'm a curious lady. What is the worst thing you can imagine happening to your bones?

1:01:26 Brennan: You see he says,

1:01:26 Avanash: I'm gonna be very clear. Let me be very clear.

1:01:33 Sokhbarr: Please, please don't mince any words.

1:01:37 Avanash: The entire point of wanting my bones is that the worst thing, rather than what I imagine would happen to my bones, is what could happen to my bones when I don't have them. Do you understand?

1:01:55 Efink: Sure. I just want it to end.

1:01:58 Avanash: Nothing is more terrifying than the unknown. And the idea that something is going on with my bones and I don't know about it terrorizes me more than any idea of a specific thing happening to my bones.

1:02:11 Lilith: So we have this forge at the back of this scary volcano.

1:02:14 Markus: Let's take him to the forge. I got your bones.

1:02:17 Maggie: It sounds also like we're gonna need a crucible and a bunch of other items too that we don't--

1:02:21 Lilith: Sure, sure.

1:02:22 Markus: Wait, hold on, I don't want to just boss everyone along with our plan. John Feathers, what do you think about this?

1:02:28 Brennan: Who are you asking?

1:02:29 Ify: John Feathers.

1:02:29 Rekha: John Feathers.

1:02:30 Brennan: You see that John Feathers (laughs). John Feathers looks over to you and says,

1:02:38 John: Look, (Amy laughs)

1:02:43 John: I don't know what to tell you. You guys seem strapped for ideas. (Trapp and Ify laugh)

1:02:49 John: It seems like this guy's got a skillset that you guys really need, and at the end of the day that feels valuable. What's the worst that can happen? You guys got the other Vinguri, right? Let's say this guy turns this into a bone or does a bone thing or something, I don't know. Well you just get another crown.

1:03:06 Maggie: Well then we gotta go all the way back, right?

1:03:08 Sokhbarr: Well we have to anyway to get the forge.

1:03:09 Maggie: I guess so.

1:03:10 Markus: I wonder one more thing.

1:03:11 Efink: And we have three options for crowns.

1:03:13 Markus: Can I use Insight to eyeball the size of Avanash's thighs and John Feather's thighs?

1:03:23 Amy: What the, oh my god.

1:03:24 Trapp: The pants.

1:03:28 Sokhbarr: Can you craft pants too, with a crown?

1:03:29 Brennan: I got a quick eyeball. Avanash--

1:03:32 Amy: Oh, I thought you were gonna offer him--

1:03:34 Brennan: Avanash takes one step out of the cage and his clothes full disintegrate and fall off his body. (laughter)

1:03:40 Brennan: There are no pants. He's been in a river for 250 years. They're gone. You see he just steps out again and goes,

1:03:47 Avanash: All right, listen, I'm happy to help. It doesn't seem like I really have a choice. I just want to say that already, I am without my clothes. I'm fully naked, and that is one more step to the elements getting to my bones.

1:04:02 Maggie: I owe you a shopping trip.

1:04:05 Avanash: Really, you'd take me shopping?

1:04:06 Maggie: I'll take you shopping.

1:04:07 Avanash: Okay, I love it. That's great. I love it.

1:04:10 Maggie: I already owe John one.

1:04:11 Brennan: Um, awesome.

1:04:14 Sokhbarr: I guess we're going back to the forge.

1:04:16 Lilith: Yeah, let's go back to-- ro-ro-roro--

1:04:19 Rekha: I have something called-- I don't totally understand some of these things, like I have something called Danger Sense. Is that something I can only use when I'm battling with someone?

1:04:25 Brennan: Danger Sense, I think, gives you advantage on initiative checks.

1:04:27 Rekha: Oh, okay, it's not like something I can do to like check if you are a dangerous person?

1:04:30 Amy: Could your children--

1:04:31 Brennan: No you can't check it on people.

1:04:32 Amy: Knit or weave some clothing?

1:04:34 Lilith: It's very very nice silk. It's actually bulletproof, you know?

1:04:38 Markus: Okay, you coulda told me that.

1:04:41 Efink: What's a bullet?

1:04:43 Brennan: Cannonball proof.

1:04:45 Lilith: Yes, projectiles.

1:04:47 Brennan: You guys see that Avanash walks out with you guys, John Feather and Stalker are still here. You see Stalker looks over at Avanash and goes,

1:04:56 Stalker: Like hey, buddy, hang in there. I know everybody's giving you a hard time. I think bones are good too. (laughter)

1:05:09 Brennan: What are you- anything else you guys are doing in Karradkar? Are you guys all set?

1:05:13 Leiland: You wouldn't happen to be able to web step us again?

1:05:18 Lilith: We can just go back through the portal.

1:05:20 Trapp: Can I just do a general search?

1:05:21 Brennan: The portal's only a round, so six seconds.

1:05:23 Lilith: Rats, rats. Okay. Well, actually--

1:05:27 Leiland: Is that something you can do?

1:05:29 Lilith: Yes. No. I might need to take a quick nap.

1:05:35 Matt: Like a short rest?

1:05:36 Rekha: Could we also ride John Feathers?

1:05:41 Brennan: You could absolutely ride.

1:05:43 Trapp: It's a lot of us. And an anvil

1:05:45 Brennan: Some of you try to ride John Feathers. You will not be able to all ride John Feathers together.

1:05:53 Rekha: Good thing everyone here's crucial.

1:05:56 Brennan: Sadly, but I also think that clerics don't regain their spells on a short rest. Only on a long rest. However, I will be a nice fella and I will say that you guys can go back through the web portal if you guys so desire.

1:06:11 Matt: What circle are you?

1:06:13 Erika: Shepherd.

1:06:15 Matt: Oh, gotcha, yeah, so it wouldn't happen.

1:06:17 Trapp: Before we go back, can I just, while we're here, can I just do like a general sense see if there's anything cool kicking around? Anything like artifacts?

1:06:23 Ify: Yeah I was gonna do the same thing, but for pants.

1:06:26 Brennan: Each of you guys give me an Investigation. You can give me an Investigation or Nature, whatever you're trying to ascertain.

1:06:29 Matt: Pants search.

1:06:30 Trapp: I'm gonna do a Nature check specifically maybe to look for cool monster shit.

1:06:34 Ify: All right, and I got an 11 on my Investigation.

1:06:40 Brennan: 11 Investigation? You don't find any pants around here, sadly.

1:06:44 Lilith: You know I think Jessa was the design major.

1:06:48 Markus: I mean what was that thing, can you make just quicky silk pants?

1:06:54 Maggie: Silk?

1:06:55 Sokhbarr: Spider silk.

1:06:56 Brennan: Jessa looks over and says

1:06:56 Jessa: I think I can do that.

1:06:59 Lilith: Great, thank you. Children?

1:07:02 Ify: I take a second. I grab her by her spindles like,

1:07:03 Markus: Jessa, this is gonna be a big order, because I'ma need you to make a human sized-- or elf sized pants.

1:07:13 Efink: Okay, we didn't need that.

1:07:15 Leiland: I feel a bit uncomfortable forcing a bunch of children to make clothing. This has been an issue in many parts of the world.

1:07:20 Markus: But this is very important.

1:07:22 Leiland: And I don't want to-- It's your choice. I just want to turn around and just pretend I heard nothing.

1:07:27 Sokhbarr: That's where you draw the line?

1:07:28 Leiland: Yes, everyone has a line.

1:07:30 Sokhbarr: It's good to know.

1:07:30 Maggie: We killed your friend.

1:07:33 Sokhbarr: It's good to know where the line is.

1:07:33 Maggie: We killed your friend.

1:07:35 Leiland: He wasn't a friend. He was a colleague, and a shitty one at that.

1:07:39 Markus: And secondly I need an eagle-sized pair from you, Jessa.

1:07:43 Maggie: Those are much smaller.

1:07:45 Brennan: I'm gonna roll in front of the board. I think this is a very important roll. (Trapp and Matt laugh)

1:07:49 Lilith: So, question, do eagles wear pants on the legs or on the arms?

1:07:55 Maggie: I think it's on the legs.

1:07:56 Lilith: Are you sure, because those are more like akin to our arms, because you know, you grip things, and then the legs are more--

1:08:05 Maggie: On its wings?

1:08:06 Leiland: I think it's the eagle's choice, actually.

1:08:09 Lilith: That's true.

1:08:10 Erika: Oh, it could be both.

1:08:11 Brennan: Yeah, John looks at you and says

1:08:13 John: Oh, double pants. (laughter)

1:08:17 Matt: The trend begins.

1:08:19 Brennan: You see that-- So I'm gonna roll a craft-fashion check for Jessa. Let's see how good Jessa does, and because she was a design major I'll let her roll with advantage. So we'll roll two dice here. (all shout)

1:08:41 Rekha: Natural 20!

1:08:42 Brennan: And a 19!

1:08:43 Amy: And a 19!

1:08:43 Brennan: Oh my god.

1:08:45 Rekha: That's the best thing I've ever seen!

1:08:47 Sokhbarr: The most beautiful--

1:08:49 All: (chanting) Double pants. Double pants. Double pants.

1:08:56 Leiland: How did she spin with the color already intact?

1:09:00 Brennan: You see Jessa does the most incredible work you've ever seen. Avanash is in this beautiful, it's like straddles the line of like a coat and a robe. It's like a partially open-faced robe with like a shirt, pantaloons under it, these like spider silk walking slippers, and you see--

1:09:15 Leiland: There are full patterns woven in.

1:09:17 Brennan: In like autumnal colors, you see that John Feathers has like this beautiful rich like corduroy brown spider silk suit, and he's got like little cuffs with cufflinks that are made out of chitinous spider carapace that Jessa kinda like peels some like peeling spider spikes off, and so he's got a full suit jacket, tie, shirt, pants, and he doesn't have shoes on his talons but he does have spats. So he's got like the tops on the talons. You see John Feathers--

1:09:48 Rekha: Oh my god.

1:09:50 John: I'm gonna be very real. I look good.

1:09:54 Maggie: Yeah, you do.

1:09:55 Markus: You sure do.

1:09:56 John: Markus, I'm not gonna forget this. And Jessa, for real. Thank you.

1:10:00 Sokhbarr: You must be very proud.

1:10:01 Lilith: They grow up so fast.

1:10:01 Maggie: Can she design a crown?

1:10:05 Ify: I go into my bag and pay Jessa well.

1:10:10 Lilith: Mommy's special little girl.

1:10:11 Brennan: She looks like she's like

1:10:12 Jessa: Captain St. Vincent, this is so much. Thank you.

1:10:15 Markus: Hey, I just wanna start your business. Let me know. I'll get them on my whole crew.

1:10:22 Brennan: You see that Jessa holds it up to you and she's like

1:10:25 Jessa: Mom, look, it's my first paycheck.

1:10:27 Lilith: You’re mommy's special little girl.

1:10:30 Erika: And Lilith just bursts into tears.

1:10:34 Brennan: You see Jason's like,

1:10:34 Jason: Wow, what're you gonna do with it?

1:10:36 Brennan: And she's like,

1:10:36 Jessa: I don't know, maybe I'll like invest in something, like some stitching or something like that. Or I'll invest in maybe someone to help me sell it. Or I might just scatter it on some bones in my lair. I don't know, it's like the world's my oyster I guess.

1:10:51 Sokhbarr: Everyone's talking about bones.

1:10:52 Rekha: It's making me sick.

1:10:54 Sokhbarr: I'm so sick of hearing about bones.

1:10:56 Efink: But Avanash, you are dressed to the nines as well. How do your bones feel?

1:11:01 Avanash: Well, they're farther away from water, so good. (all laugh)

1:11:11 Maggie: Is he made of something weird?

1:11:14 Trapp: I rolled a 13 plus 6 for that Nature check.

1:11:19 Brennan: Awesome. You see there's a lot of beasts near here. You sense there might be some wargs near here. Also probably some spiders that are kin of Lilith's out here in the woods, like cousins maybe or something like that way out there. You see that there's also-- but you do feel something which is like a shadow in these woods that is now leaving, and you sense pixies, unicorns, dryads, things beginning to move back into these woods as though some spectral evil has left this place, and a sense of urgency returns to you all about what your task is here.

1:11:57 Rekha: More pants. (laughter)

1:12:00 Brennan: So you guys return to the portal. You appear back in the forge of the scary volcano. I'm gonna go ahead and say Erika, I'll make a deal with you. To make this spell less. I'll say that if you don't wanna burn a spell slot in bringing everyone back here, just totally fine, you guys can just walk back through, but I'm gonna say X out transport via web for the rest of the day. So that's now like unprepared. Free spell slot in exchange for a loss of a prepared spell.

1:12:34 Erika: Thank you.

1:12:35 Brennan: Feels fair. You arrive back. You see Avanash goes,

1:12:39 Avanash: hot in here. Something's wrong with all this water.

1:12:44 Brennan: You see that he walks over--

1:12:47 Lilith: Oh no no no, don't touch that. You don't wanna touch that.

1:12:50 Erika: And then she-

1:12:51 Avanash: I would never touch water! Ha, ha, ha, believe me. I would never touch water, especially not orange water. No thank you. Okay, no thank you. I've had enough. I've had enough for a lifetime. I've had enough for two lifetimes. Okay, we're all having a good time.

1:13:05 Leiland: Maybe it's the suit, but I think I like him,

1:13:07 Avanash: (laughs) I like the cut of your jib too, even though you ruined me forever.

1:13:14 Brennan: You see that he walks over to the forge, takes the crown. He starts going to work. Looks like he really knows what he's doing. I'm gonna make a very important roll now.

1:13:24 Amy: Before he does that, how long-- I mean, yeah, ask him how long from beginning to end will this take?

1:13:30 Brennan: He says,

1:13:30 Avanash: well, do you want it done fast or do you want it done well?

1:13:35 Efink: Okay, well, I don't need the sass. I just was curious. I'm just curious.

1:13:41 Avanash: I have a lot of clients come to me and they just have these huge asks.

1:13:43 Efink: Do you have a lot of clients?

1:13:45 Maggie: You have a lot of clients?

1:13:45 Efink: Yeah, do you though?

1:13:47 Lilith: Okay, usually the Venn diagram is fast, cheap, and good, and we gave this to you for free and we really have a lot of resources, so you can do fast and good.

1:13:59 Maggie: I gave you silk pants in exchange.

1:14:02 Avanash: All right, we're gonna do fast and good. We're gonna do fast and good.

1:14:04 Matt: We aid him in this at all?

1:14:05 Brennan: Yes, you can give him advantage.

1:14:06 Efink: So again, how long?

1:14:10 Brennan: He says he can maybe do two hours.

1:14:13 Efink: Oh, wow.

1:14:14 Lilith: Yes, yes.

1:14:16 Avanash: Oh yeah, people talk up crownsmithing. They talk it up all the time. They say oh it's gonna take this long.

1:14:20 Maggie: Oh, it's like keys. It's like making keys.

1:14:22 Brennan: Yeah, it's pretty easy. So I'm gonna go ahead and roll. He's rolling with advantage because he's gonna be getting help actually from you guys.

1:14:28 Matt: While he's doing this I'm gonna go ahead and pluck a few very nice gems outta my pocket and prepare them for superficial reasons. So not only can he reforge the crown but to make it with like a little gift for me.

1:14:38 Brennan: Couple beautiful-- He says,

1:14:38 Avanash: Oh these rubies are beautiful.

1:14:41 Leiland: I've been saving them for a special occasion.

1:14:42 Avanash: Well, this is it.

1:14:44 Leiland: Indeed.

1:14:44 Brennan: You see he looks over. He's gonna roll with advantage. He gets a plus 10 to his check. But the DC is 25. So, but he's rolling with advantage. Any other PC shenanigans before I roll? Any other PC creeps?

1:14:59 Trapp: I don't think there's anything else I can really do to help out here.

1:15:02 Erika: What is the check?

1:15:03 Brennan: The check he's making is a tool proficiency. But he's gonna roll. He's got a plus 10 to the roll, he's very good, so he's gotta roll a 15 or higher. And I will say this. He's gotta roll 15 or higher. The DC for not ruining the crown is 20. So in other words he can try again if he doesn't destroy the materials. So if he rolls-- he has to roll a 15 or higher to make it. If he rolls both rolls under 10, it's destroyed.

1:15:33 Sokhbarr: We've gotta go kill some other guy.

1:15:35 Ify: I will say, 'cause with my rogue tools I believe I have tool proficiency as well, so I want to offer to be like an apprentice, a helping hand.

1:15:47 Brennan: Awesome. You guys have got it all covered 'cause you have the book, you're explaining the arcana, (blowing air) you're helping with the tool proficiency.

1:15:52 Amy: Is there a way I can touch it and put a death ward on the material itself, since there is some version of a soul in there?

1:15:58 Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.

1:15:59 Amy: Maybe to prevent just maybe one, if there were a mistake it could still survive it?

1:16:05 Brennan: Cool, so in other words, you're gonna put a death ward. So that means that the soul attached to this will not vanish or disappear if the crown is destroyed.

1:16:13 Amy: Perfect, I do it.

1:16:14 Leiland: Maybe focus on the shard of the Lord of Shadow, and not Declan.

1:16:20 Efink: Oh, yes, done. No, no, no, no,

1:16:21 Maggie: Dear god.

1:16:23 Efink: We're on the same page

1:16:23 Leiland: I don't want to have to explain that to him.

1:16:26 Efink: Yes, was he ever meant to survive?

1:16:28 Brennan: All right, here comes the roll. Let's see what happens. 16, great, so he beats it. You see that Avanash just-- And you guys can take your short rest now.

1:16:38 Trapp: Great.

1:16:39 Matt: Oh, yes please.

1:16:40 Erika: So it's your con modifier times--

1:16:44 Brennan: But you do also burn these dice before a long rest again. So remember how many dice you rolled because you can't just continually roll hit dice again, so you've burned one. You have 13 left. You're doing pretty good.

1:16:56 Amy: Could be rolling higher. That's for sure.

1:17:01 Brennan: You guys are all doing that. You're resting. Avanash is working very swiftly. John Feathers is hanging out.

1:17:07 Rekha: While they're resting, you know, my rest is shorter, can I go on a shopping trip?

1:17:12 Brennan: If you wanna head back to the Bloodkeep you absolutely can.

1:17:15 Rekha: I would love to take John on a shopping trip.

1:17:18 Brennan: Wonderful. You can escort him back.

1:17:19 Rekha: Perfect.

1:17:22 Brennan: Back into the Bloodkeep. As you guys head out-- That is so funny. Cool, yeah, you guys are all resting by the forge, and John's going around. You see that you're in this weird thing called the-- You're in a section of the blood keep called the market of spines, and there's a bunch of ancient titan spines, like these sort of 40 foot tall spines with these sort of humanoid kind of skulls, and it's like a goblin market here. And you see John walks out and says,

1:17:49 John: Wow, look at this place.

1:17:53 Maggie: Yeah, do you like it?

1:17:55 John: I mean it's grotesque, but it's not bad.

1:17:58 Maggie: Yeah.

1:17:58 Brennan: You go up and you see there's a little old goblin woman who says,

1:18:03 Goblin: Oh, and who is this?

1:18:06 Maggie: It's Maggie.

1:18:07 Goblin: Oh, Maggie, hello. Would you like to try our wares?

1:18:11 Maggie: Well, actually, I'm here for my friend John here.

1:18:16 Goblin: We sell snails and bugs and worms and crawling things.

1:18:21 Maggie: Well, John, does any of this appeal to you or are you strictly on a clothes hunt?

1:18:25 Brennan: You see he looks and goes actually,

1:18:26 John: I'm pretty hungry and most of this is stuff I eat, so that's good for me.

1:18:29 Maggie: Wonderful. Whatever he wants. It's on me.

1:18:33 Brennan: You see she says,

1:18:33 Goblin: Very well, my lady.

1:18:36 Brennan: You feel, Maggie, a rumbling in the earth underneath you, and sort of all the goblins look around and shrug. And you see John goes,

1:18:45 John: [nervous] Oowee.

1:18:47 Maggie: What? What, John? What?

1:18:50 John: Well, it's rumbling right?

1:18:51 Maggie: But do you know what it means?

1:18:53 John: I don't know, do these goblins all know what's going on? What's about to happen?

1:18:57 Maggie: I don't know, should I ask one of them?

1:18:59 John: I mean you can if you want.

1:19:00 Maggie: Hey, goblin shopkeep.

1:19:02 Goblin: Yes?

1:19:03 Maggie: Do you know what's going on? Why did the earth just rumble?

1:19:05 Goblin: We don't know. We sells worms. (Trapp and Ify laugh)

1:19:11 Maggie: Okay, but it seems like all of you kind of gave each other a knowing look. It seems like you knew what was going on.

1:19:15 Goblin: No, sometimes we look at each other because we work together and when something strange happens we just look at each other.

1:19:22 Rekha: Can I-- what would I do? Investigate?

1:19:25 Brennan: Insight? You can do insight, yeah.

1:19:29 Rekha: So 10, and then what do I add to that?

1:19:32 Brennan: Wisdom?

1:19:34 Matt: Insight.

1:19:34 Rekha: Oh, insight total. So 12.

1:19:36 Brennan: You don't get the vibe that she's lying to you. It looks like the goblins are looking around sort of like a what's going on kind of thing. But maybe they're clueless as to the nature of the true happenings in this realm. Oh, and Trapp, I would roll for J’er’em’ih's.

1:19:51 Trapp: That's what I'm doing right now, too.

1:19:54 Amy: While he's also doing that I wanna approach Lilith and say,

1:19:58 Efink: I feel like you wanted to ask me--

1:20:01 Lilith: Oh we need to have a talk, girlfriend.

1:20:03 Efink: Yes, and so much has happened.

1:20:06 Lilith: Quite a lot. First of all, let me preface this with saying I'm so sorry about your father. It was very unfortunate, and I don't know if that's more closure for you.

1:20:15 Efink: No no, it is, and again that battle is called the closure in the caldera for me, forever.

1:20:19 Lilith: Well that's very catchy.

1:20:21 Efink: Well I love that word, now. It is the word of the day.

1:20:24 Lilith: Very nice, well, so good, good. So we're clear on that. And also may I just say I thought that you had left behind Elfinia and that you are truly “knife” backwards.

1:20:41 Efink: Oh, yes, have I not said that?

1:20:43 Lilith: No, you're telling me.

1:20:43 Efink: Efink is knife backwards.

1:20:45 Lilith: all the time, you first said it when you were drugged, but now you tell us all the time, and you are so proud of it.

1:20:50 Efink: I am. Of course I am.

1:20:51 Lilith: Are you not Efink Blood-murder--

1:20:56 Sokhbarr: Murderdeath.

1:20:57 Lilith: Murderdeath? Thank you.

1:20:59 Efink: Yes, but I do love Murderdeathblood.

1:21:00 Lilith: Well then what is all this business with your ex?

1:21:03 Efink: Okay. It's honestly, yes, you're right. I should--

1:21:07 Amy: And I take my divorce papers and I throw them in the lava.

1:21:11 Lilith: What?

1:21:12 Efink: You're right (paper burning up). There's a lot of business here. I, look, I think you know me. I'm an opportunist. Always have been.

1:21:20 Lilith: Yes, that's one of the things I like best about you.

1:21:22 Efink: And in what world is being married-- Look at me. I'm ghastly. No one would take this.

1:21:31 Lilith: Oh, stop that.

1:21:32 Efink: But I find myself--

1:21:34 Lilith: Stop saying mean things about my friend.

1:21:35 Efink: But I do find myself married to the king of men, elves, and dwarves.

1:21:40 Brennan: Stalker looks over at you and he goes--

1:21:42 Erika: Lilith looks over at Stalker.

1:21:43 Brennan: He looks over and says,

1:21:44 Stalker: There's some places in the rock around here you can put a snare and catch a ribbon. (Rekha laughs)

1:21:52 Efink: And though he is grotesque, just having him on our side, doesn't it, I don't know, like, feel really good?

1:22:02 Lilith: Do you love him?

1:22:07 Stalker: You know if you get cold you can take your hair off your head and make a blanket.

1:22:12 Trapp: Am I here?

1:22:13 Brennan: Yeah, Sokhbarr is here at the forge.

1:22:18 Stalker: In this survival scenario, if you were in a survival scenario you can make a blanket.

1:22:24 Sokhbarr: I guess there's maybe a political argument to be made for just being the ruling monarch of stuff, right?

1:22:30 Lilith: Do you love him?

1:22:34 Sokhbarr: I don't use this word lightly. This guy's a goober.

1:22:41 Lilith: And be that as it may, he is really just the lowest, low, the most garbage human I've ever met.

1:22:50 Efink: He's the last person I ever had relations with. And that was hundreds of years ago.

1:22:56 Lilith: My goodness.

1:22:57 Efink: But do I love him? It's a tricky question. Do you love me? Hey. Hey over there. Percival, do you love me?

1:23:06 Stalker: Yeah.

1:23:09 Efink: I love that he loves me. I love that he loves me.

1:23:14 Stalker: You're the prettiest girl I ever saw.

1:23:17 Lilith: What?

1:23:18 Sokhbarr: Not a lot of loving statements, relationships, start with hey you over there. I don't know, just an observation.

1:23:25 Efink: Yes, what do they start with? Eye-stalks spearing into your fucking heart and then inseminating your body from there?

1:23:32 Markus: Oh really?

1:23:32 Lilith: I mean sometimes, yes.

1:23:34 Sokhbarr: Sometimes. Love expresses itself in different ways.

1:23:37 Markus: Do you believe that, Sokhbarr?

1:23:37 Lilith: Love is a many splendored thing.

1:23:38 Markus: That no loving statements can come from that?

1:23:40 Sokhbarr: I'm just saying.

1:23:42 Markus: All right.

1:23:43 Efink: So, no.

1:23:43 Markus: Hey you over there. I just wanted to get another look at you.

1:23:46 Sokhbarr: Aww.

1:23:47 Brennan: You see that J’er’em’ih is standing perfectly stock still, and there is just this enormous fucking smoking tumor that is moving around like an air bubble in a balloon, just like (churning).

1:23:59 Amy: No.

1:24:00 Sokhbarr: The thing with J’er’em’ih is I'm never sure when there's something wrong with him or whether it's just a thing he does.

1:24:06 Lilith: Love comes in many forms and is a many splendored thing. Well, here's the thing, darling, is that you deserve better. You deserve love in your life, and here is just a thought. That once we once again control all of this, and we have everything kind of tamped down in a safe spot, then really you could rule the realms of men and elves and eagles on your own, because you are a queen in your own right. While Lilith is talking, Brennan makes a roll behind the DM screen. He stares at his roll in shock, and then points directly at the camera in barely-concealed excitement.

1:24:37 Efink: A hypothetical is that I become queen?

1:24:39 Brennan: While you're doing this, I wanna introduce something interesting, because John Feathers has already walked away, you're helping Avanash diligently. What are you guys up to, basically?

1:24:49 Matt: Helping Avanash.

1:24:51 Ify: Technically, yeah, I'm helping Avanash.

1:24:52 Matt: So I guess while this is happening--

1:24:54 Ify: I'm just yelling over from the end.

1:24:55 Matt: Yeah and stuff getting ready for the, helping the bellows (puff of air), going anything he needs (hammer on metal), and kind of just looking over towards Markus at some point where it's kind of a lull in the moment.

1:25:02 Ify: Yeah, it's starting to get hot and heavy so I leave the mask on, but I pull my cloak off, show my completely ripped (Matt laughs), like you're like damn, is that Idris Elba? And it might be.

1:25:15 Matt: And I'm not gonna lie, Leiland sneaks a peek over there. But at some point does reach out amongst the heap and be like,

1:25:23 Leiland: You know, Markus, I do know a thing or two about being forgotten royalty.

1:25:30 Markus: Really?

1:25:32 Leiland: Before this fabulous porcelain and corporeal visage was as it is, I was sixth in line for the Silver Coast.

1:25:40 Markus: Six, man, I was mad about being second.

1:25:44 Leiland: So imagine how things were for me. I know what it's like to be discarded. Left behind. Not considered worthy of lineage or legacy, and it frankly sucks. Sometimes it drives you to join in with the Dark Lord and murder your entire family, but I just want you to know, if you need anyone to talk to I'm here.

1:26:13 Markus: That means a lot, really, it does. I kinda lost focus there when you said you murdered your entire family. Because I was like, oh man the only thing keeping you from being king was killing five of your brothers. You could have just stopped there. Have you ever considered that part?

1:26:33 Leiland: Well, you have to understand, it was at the behest of the Lord of Shadows.

1:26:35 Markus: Oh, okay.

1:26:37 Leiland: I mean really, once you conquer and destroy and burn the entire kingdom there's not much to rule, but at least I wasn't beneath them anymore. I keep this in this nice little crystal in my room where I can look to the spirits and ask them questions and watch them scream. It's fun. You should try it.

1:26:50 Markus: That's cute. I don't think I'ma try that.

1:26:52 Leiland: Okay, well it's there if you need it.

1:26:54 Markus: I'ma trying a whole different thing. I'm probably gonna definitely kill my brother, but my dad and the rest of the family, the kingdom, I'ma keep it intact.

1:27:02 Leiland: Ah, you're gonna make them suffer.

1:27:03 Markus: No, no.

1:27:04 Leiland: You sure, just a little tease?

1:27:05 Markus: No, just was gonna rule.

1:27:07 Leiland: We have means of doing this

1:27:07 Markus: Yeah, no.

1:27:08 Leiland: We can prolong their existence and you can just tug and pull if you like.

1:27:11 Markus: Oh, man

1:27:13 Leiland: It's really exhilarating.

1:27:15 Markus: Damn, I guess I am different than a lot of you guys. (laughter)

1:27:18 Leiland: But we have so much in common.

1:27:20 Markus: Yeah, we definitely have that in common. Like I feel that, but nah, my endgame goal is to live as a pirate king and maybe shoot down some airships every now and then, and kick back and rule my sky kingdom. After I murder my brother. Like that's the one bad thing I'ma do. Y'all got a few things.

1:27:42 Leiland: How romantic.

1:27:42 Lilith: All I'm saying is that yes, lycans, and yes, queen.

1:27:48 Efink: Oh, yes, queen.

1:27:51 Brennan: You guys look over and you see that Avanash walks up, claps his hands together, looks at the five of you, and you guys are sort of deep in conversation, you guys are deep in conversation over here with Stalker, and you see that Avanash comes over and says,

1:28:05 Avanash: (sighs in satisfaction) Well, that is maybe the fastest I've ever gotten it done, and it is done. And so let me check. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven--

1:28:17 Lilith: Is this gonna take a long time?

1:28:18 Sokhbarr: Are you gonna count all your bones?

1:28:19 Leiland: He's ahead of schedule.

1:28:21 Avanash: Well, again, we had an agreement, which is that I get your bones if I don't have all my bones.

1:28:24 Efink: You know, I can do a little cursory glance here and I'm gonna tell you I think they're all there.

1:28:32 Avanash: Oh, well great. Well then we're all good. The crown is perfect and you guys have it and that's great.

1:28:41 Efink: Thank you.

1:28:41 Sokhbarr: What is this crown--

1:28:42 Leiland: We take the crown.

1:28:44 Brennan: He's not holding it.

1:28:45 Leiland: Is it over on the anvil?

1:28:47 Avanash: No, I gave it to your friend.

1:28:50 Sokhbarr: You give it to Hamhead?

1:28:52 Avanash: Uh, the little one.

1:28:53 Sokhbarr: God fucking dammit.

1:28:55 Efink: Wait, no, what?

1:28:57 Avanash: I gave it to little Hamhead.

1:29:02 Sokhbarr: J’er’em’ih, sniff her out.

1:29:04 Matt: Immediately, just looking across the entirety of the caldera.

1:29:07 Erika: We all start looking.

1:29:09 Brennan: Yeah, he says,

1:29:09 Avanash: Yeah I gave it to Hamhead and--

1:29:12 Sokhbarr: The one in the chains?

1:29:13 Avanash: Uh, yeah, she wasn't in chains when I gave her the crown. You guys were talking, I went over, checked in on her, I had the forge tools, she was like, hey, and I popped the chains, and then gave her the crown. She took out, she asked me to put the anvil in the lava.

1:29:31 Brennan: Points over, and you guys see the anvil (bubbling) (burning up) Explodes in flame, and he goes so-- [scatting and finger snaps]

1:29:42 Rekha: Someone push him in lava. (laughter)

1:29:46 Brennan: You see he goes,

1:29:46 Avanash: No water!

1:29:48 Brennan: Hits the lava, bursts into flame, and is gone.

1:29:53 Sokhbarr: Well, it was a great idea to trust him. I wish someone would have warned us.

1:29:57 Markus: The crown is fixed though. The crown is fixed.

1:30:00 Leiland: Well--

1:30:01 Brennan: Give me an Investigation check or Arcana, whichever one you want.

1:30:05 Matt: That would be 12.

1:30:07 Brennan: You sniff-- it's been gone, but you sniff the last crown. The last crown exists again somewhere. It is maybe not as powerful as the crown that Zaul'nazh formed for himself, but it is something like it. Now the only question is it being created again, and him, you don't feel his presence, means that something else is going on, and you might be able to guess what that is.

1:30:38 Rekha: It's Declan?

1:30:39 Brennan: No, I'm sorry. Not Declan. Anyone can make an-- I'll actually just say that as you're like scouting around for it (Matt sniffs), you're sniffing it out, you don't feel Zaul'nazh's presence. Anyone that wants to like can make I guess like an Insight check to see if you can understand why the crown is completed and Zaul'nazh is not back.

1:30:59 Amy: I'm gonna instead roll my bones of fate and take the 50% chance.

1:31:02 Rekha: And if I'm not in the room do I not do this?

1:31:04 Brennan: You do not do this.

1:31:05 Trapp: I have an 18 for Insight check.

1:31:10 Brennan: 18 for an Insight check?

1:31:11 Erika: 15.

1:31:12 Brennan: No one beat a 20 on that Insight? No worries. So either Avanash was lying, but you do something that's like no that smells enough like it. That smells like something we could use.

1:31:25 Trapp: Can I have, can J’er’em’ih and I try to like track, sniff out- I keep calling her Hamhead because I can't remember her first name.

1:31:37 Brennan: Galfast. You can call her Hamhead.

1:31:40 Rekha: Also I am outside. Did I get to see her?

1:31:43 Brennan: You're off in the marketplace. You guys I assume take off after--

1:31:47 Matt: Oh, immediately.

1:31:48 Brennan: Yeah, woosh, you guys get the fuck outta dodge. You see that John Feathers actually probably can't fit through the door, so you see that John--

1:31:58 Rekha: He's with me, though.

1:31:59 Brennan: Oh he's with-- no he could fit through the door. So you see that it's just Stalker now 'cause you guys pushed Avanash into the lava. So you see Stalker runs after you and he goes,

1:32:07 Stalker: Oh, did Galfast get out of here?

1:32:10 Lilith: Stalker, sweetie. Did you unchain the halfling?

1:32:18 Stalker: Nah, I just put the elvish medicine on her 'cause we were taking a nap, so she woke up.

1:32:27 Efink: Are they--

1:32:29 Markus: Who stopped me from killing 'im?

1:32:31 Stalker: No you guys tried to kill her but I brought her back with elf medicine.

1:32:34 Markus: No on, yeah, no, I mean killing you. I'm talking about specifically killing you.

1:32:38 Efink: No on, don't kill him. Not just yet. He's a king.

1:32:40 Markus: Well if you're married, and I killed you, you'd still be queen.

1:32:44 Lilith: That's how secession works.

1:32:46 Efink: No one would recognize it. We need him.

1:32:48 Stalker: This is the fella I stabbed three times and then he was too scared so he jumped on a bird.

1:32:53 Markus: Oh, you son of a bitch.

1:32:56 Efink: Hey, hey, hey.

1:32:56 Markus: Don't you dare!

1:32:58 Efink: Hey, we have bigger, pressing problems.

1:33:00 Markus: No, no, no, you're not gonna downplay the cool ass shit that I did. You stabbed my three times, yes, and instead of taking your life swiftly, I went,

1:33:09 Lilith: Do we really need him alive?

1:33:09 Markus: Did a flip, grabbed this eagle--

1:33:12 Efink: Yeah we do, yes.

1:33:12 Markus: By the neck, and I went to bargain with him to come back and claw your ass back into the lava, but the bartering took too long. He was just busting ma' balls out there. So then by the time I got down you were already in lava and then somehow-- you came back to life.

1:33:20 Lilith: Shhhh...shh shh shh….. shhhhhhh

1:33:28 Stalker: You wear a lot of jewels like a fancy man.

1:33:31 Markus: Yeah, I'm real fancy. I'm real fancy.

1:33:35 Efink: Percival, you're pissing people off right now. You should probably shut your mouth.

1:33:38 Lilith: You are a nature man. That is one of the few things that you can do. Is that not the case? And you tracked these halflings halfway across the lands, did you not?

1:33:51 Stalker: That's why they call me Stalker. I'm good at-- I can find ya.

1:33:55 Efink: Yes, no, because I love you, and because you love me, you will find this halfling.

1:34:01 Stalker: All right, I’ma do it.

1:34:04 Brennan: And you see he goes off and he's going to start tracking. I want you guys to know that on my phone is a photograph, not from here, but from while you were all talking of a nat 20 stealth check from Galfast Hamhead. While you guys were all talking, and it's on camera. Black and white flashback of Brennan. He rolls a die, is surprised then looks up and points at the camera.

1:34:27 Brennan: So Stalker peels off out of the tunnel with you guys. As you run, give me a Nature check, actually, as you guys are heading out.

1:34:37 Trapp: That is a 7 plus 6. That is 13.

1:34:39 Brennan: 13. You hear something rumbling. The lava mog deep in the heart of the scary volcano. This thing is gonna blow. And it's not too far from the blood keep. It will be a matter of time. Things are ramping up. You guys race out from here. [to Ify] Make a Perception check for me if you'd be so kind.

1:35:07 Ify: That's going to be a 23.

1:35:12 Brennan: As you're running, just because you're like, pissed off at this guy Stalker, your hearing stone is missing.

1:35:22 Markus: Son of a-- Oh, I got so many people to kill.

1:35:31 Lilith: When we're done with this I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. I don't care what she says.

1:35:34 Sokhbarr: Honestly I wanna kill all of you if I'm being totally honest.

1:35:37 Lilith: That's fair. That's entirely fair.

1:35:40 Brennan: You guys rush out from here. Maggie, you're in the marketplace, and now you're actually in a little goblin hat store, and you see that there's a little goblin being like,

1:35:49 Goblin: Welcome, all the hats are made of skin.

1:35:52 Maggie: Whose?

1:35:55 Goblin: Well, I can tell you, well the nicer stuff I can actually tell you. This skin comes from a man named Mathias of Tiriath. He was a warrior who was trapped in a pit and we skinned him and we made a hat. And he was an old empire warrior of light et cetera, et cetera, and now he's a hat.

1:36:17 Maggie: Oh, perfect.

1:36:18 Brennan: And you see that John goes like,

1:36:21 John: This is a little grim for me.

1:36:22 Maggie: Really?

1:36:23 John: Yeah.

1:36:24 Maggie: Is it the skin or the hats?

1:36:27 John: I mean leather is leather. It's just that I don't wanna, if I'm flying around with a hat, and I'm going like oh this used to be a guy named Mathias, I'd rather not know. Almost like yeah, it's a little too personal. Does that make sense?

1:36:40 Maggie: Oh, you don't want a hat with a name.

1:36:41 John: Right, exactly.

1:36:42 Maggie: You want a hat without a name.

1:36:43 John: Also, I'm just trying to think-- I don't know if I can pull off a hat.

1:36:47 Maggie: John, stop it. Literally stop it. Of course you can.

1:36:51 John: I don't know. Once you become a hat guy you gotta commit.

1:36:55 Maggie: John. No, you can be whoever you want to be, okay? Don't let society tell you you gotta be a hat guy just 'cause you're wearing a hat, a silk guy just because you're wearing silks. You could be whoever. Change every day. It doesn't matter. It's all fluid.

1:37:06 John: I want a fuckin' hat.

1:37:07 Maggie: Lets' get one, bitch.

1:37:07 John: Let's get a fuckin' hat.

1:37:09 Brennan: You guys all zoom in and you see Maggie here at the hat store. Maggie you see all these guys show up looking like, panicky and like Stalker in the lead, all these goblins start looking and they're like "Man of Tiriath!" and like freaking out. But you guys see Maggie here.

1:37:24 LEiland: We have to go.

1:37:25 Maggie: Why? What about the hat?

1:37:27 Markus: John, hop in the back. We gotta fly.

1:37:28 Trapp: I grab a hat and just slam it on Jonathan Feather's head.

1:37:31 Markus: Let's go.

1:37:32 Maggie: He looks amazing.

1:37:33 Sokhbarr: Yeah, he looks great. Let's go.

1:37:37 Brennan: Incredible. Where do you guys go from the Market of Spines?

1:37:41 Erika: We follow Stalker.

1:37:43 Rekha: Yeah, is he smelling anything?

1:37:44 Brennan: He keeps going out, going out, and going out.

1:37:45 Markus: I try to go up with John and get a bird's eye view of everything.

1:37:49 Brennan: No pun intended.

1:37:50 Rekha: It's a John's eye view.

1:37:54 Brennan: Full eagle in a suit.

1:37:57 Rekha: (laughing) And a hat?

1:38:00 Brennan: Beautiful hat.

1:38:00 Trapp: Can I have J’er’em’ih sort of sniffing out too just in case I maybe don't have total confidence in Stalker's abilities or intentions?

1:38:09 Erika: Also 1000 spiders children come with us darkening the land as we go.

1:38:16 Brennan: Incredible.

1:38:17 Amy: I'm gonna roll my bone.

1:38:18 Brennan: Cool, you roll your bone. Let's just go around the table real quick person to person and we'll track what everybody's kinda doing. Maggie, what are you doing?

1:38:26 Rekha: Oh my god, I think I'm shaking people down.

1:38:29 Maggie: Did you see this halfling?

1:38:31 Brennan: Give me an Intimidation check.

1:38:33 Rekha: 16 plus 3, so 19.

1:38:38 Brennan: Cool, you're running around. You're back up near like the top of the Bloodkeep, back near where the throne room is kind of, and you run across Master Ipskix. You see he's running around and you see he looks very perturbed a little bit, and you see he goes

1:38:52 Ipskix: My lord, Maggie, pleasure to see you. Some of the screaming pain spirits have flitted off almost like the charms that were binding them have broken.

1:39:05 Maggie: Okay, Ipskix, have you seen a little halfling running around? I don't like your dumb fuckin' theatrics. Just answer my question.

1:39:13 Ipskix: A halfling? Here in the blood keep? How would that happen?

1:39:18 Maggie: Well, it doesn't matter. That's not what I asked you, is it? I asked, have you seen one?

1:39:23 Ipskix: Well, if you want to see a halfling, I could saw a man in half.

1:39:30 Maggie: You are the least funny person I have ever met.

1:39:35 Brennan: You see Ipskix's face truly withers and he looks at you and just goes,

1:39:38 Ipskix: I haven't seen a halfling.

1:39:43 Maggie: You haven't seen a halfling? Cool, maybe next time that'll be the first thing outta your mouth. Consider your fuckin' tight five.

1:39:54 Rekha: And then I push him into the ground.

1:39:56 Brennan: The ground cracks underneath him. As you walk away, that was the most intense thing I've ever seen.

1:40:06 Lilith: When I was pregnant I decimated a whole kingdom because they didn't have the chips that I wanted. It'll do crazy things to you.

1:40:20 Brennan: Incredible. You rocket off past the throne room. Leiland, what's he up to?

1:40:26 Matt: If Sokhbarr wants to come,

1:40:27 Leiland: I was going to go ahead and retrieve my wyvern and since Declan does not need his, if you would like something to ride that flies, since we have a bird as well.

1:40:37 Sokhbarr: Sure, sure, we could do that. Let's do that.

1:40:41 Leiland: All right.

1:40:41 Brennan: Hell, yes. You guys rush over to the aerie where these things are kept. You see littered on the ground are the dead bodies of orcs and goblins, and you see that the runed, shackled collars that the wyverns are kept under, the enchantment on them left and the wyverns broke out of them. Sokhbarr, you see it looks like the wyverns ate their fill and flew back to the mountains.

1:41:12 Sokhbarr: Well, shit.

1:41:15 Leiland: Indeed.

1:41:18 Brennan: There are other things in the-- There are some bats in the aerie. There are some dire bats. There's other things that were not strong enough to break out that were kept under sort of normal lock and key, not magical. So there are flying steeds here, but your badass wyverns have fucked off and vanished.

1:41:34 Leiland: Are bats all right? You tell me.

1:41:37 Sokhbarr: To ride? To what are you proposing?

1:41:40 Leiland: To quickly get around and search for these things.

1:41:42 Matt: I take a moment to see if I can sniff and catch a directional essence of where this crown may be.

1:41:48 Brennan: Awesome, give me Arcana.

1:41:52 Matt: That's gonna be a 14.

1:41:56 Brennan: It's hard. You can't smell it on the wind so it's like either so far away or it's still in the Bloodkeep somewhere. It's like a 50-50 between those two, which is--

1:42:08 Trapp: Then, and then can I have J’er’em’ih try to sniff out Hamhead?

1:42:11 Brennan: Yes, go ahead and give him an investigation check with advantage.

1:42:14 Rekha: Tell him capital H, not like lowercase H.

1:42:16 Trapp: Investigation with advantage?

1:42:17 Brennan: Yes, so he gets that minus 4 but he can roll twice and take the better roll.

1:42:20 Trapp: Oh, because Investigation is Intelligence. Got it, right, very good. Nat 1. And 6. That's crap.

1:42:34 Brennan: So as J’er’em’ih's having a hard time finding Hamhead, you guys go out there but you see Markus up on John Feathers outside. You guys could grab these bats and go join if you want it to like scour the skies kind of thing.

1:42:48 Trapp: Okay, cool. Then I'll take the bats. Can I release the bats and cast Beast Sense, which lets me see what the bats see?

1:43:02 Brennan: Yes, absolutely. Go ahead and roll I think just a perception. And I'll go ahead and add plus four to it.

1:43:12 Trapp: Perception. That is 16 plus 3 is 19 plus 4 is 23.

1:43:21 Brennan: You Beast Sense out. These bats fly over. You see that Sokhbarr's eyes roll back in his head.

1:43:27 Trapp: And it's super hot. (laughter)

1:43:32 Rekha: And he's wet. Dripping wet.

1:43:36 Trapp: Just exuding slime.

1:43:37 Amy: Percival loves that look.

1:43:39 Brennan: The bats scour the land. You do not see Hamhead, but you do see a huge column of warg cavalry riding back from the door of doom and you can see white fire being lit. The armies of light are now within sight of the blood keep. Still a hundred miles away, but you can see the advance. And you see a column of warg riders. As you look at them, at the head of them, broken spear shafts and arrow heads throughout this body, and like bandaged up is Olag.

1:44:13 Rekha: No way.

1:44:13 Brennan: Riding back with a singular look of determination in his eyes. So you guys see-- So you see that. That's what you manage to find. Efink.

1:44:31 Amy: Bone roll. So I'm gonna spin my bone and let it fall.

1:44:35 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:44:37 Amy: And my question I guess, or what I'm trying to determine, is the I guess-- and I know that this is a 50-50 chance that I'll even get a good answer, but I wanna know the fate of the crown for the indeterminate future.

1:44:55 Brennan: You roll your bone and you can hear the voices of Azra, Orgra, and Abaseel speaking to you and all of them say

1:45:04 Spirits: Your majesty, you will find the crown. You will find it where you least expect it. It shall come to you soon. We swear. Did you like this? Was this good?

1:45:19 Efink: I give it four and a half stars.

1:45:25 Spirits: Wow.

1:45:27 Efink: Four and a half bones.

1:45:28 Spirits: It rests on the throne of Zaul'nazh even now.

1:45:35 Efink: Oh, five stars. Five big bones. Who am I kidding? Great. Thank you. We should turn around.

1:45:42 Sokhbarr: Oh, all right.

1:45:43 Brennan: Cool. You have to rush off and find these guys after you're throwing your bone. What is Lilith up to?

1:45:48 Erika: Has she told me and--

1:45:50 Brennan: No, what were you doing up until that point, I guess?

1:45:54 Erika: I guess I would have just been following Stalker.

1:45:59 Brennan: Yeah, you're following behind Stalker. Yeah, Stalker's leading you around. It brings you also back up to that like center spire at the very top of the blood keep near to actually the area of the sort of the portico or whatever, the area of where The Siren was originally moored. And starts snooping around up there, but then you guys hear, all hear-- And then actually, Markus, you're like flying around on John Feathers. I'll do one for John and you can give me a perception check as well.

1:46:32 Ify: It's gonna be 15.

1:46:33 Brennan: You're just like scanning the ground here for like this little fuckin' halfling. John looks around and says,

1:46:39 John: I'll be honest, I don't see her.

1:46:41 Markus: Like you don't see her like--

1:46:44 John: I'm seeing a lot, and I'm not seeing her.

1:46:46 Markus: Okay, that's a good check. I mean hey, what do you think? Should we fly out further and see if we see her or?

1:46:54 Brennan: He looks at the armies of light and he looks at the column of warg riders and says,

1:46:59 John: I think we should maybe hustle back. Even money says that halfling's in the blood keep hiding somewhere.

1:47:07 Markus: Oh, I love you. Let's go.

1:47:10 Brennan: He looks and says,

1:47:10 John: Damn, I just always was like eagles fight with the side of light, and I've become more, I don't know if this is too sentimental, I've just become more of myself today than I ever thought.

1:47:22 Markus: See here's the difference I think. We're listening. We're not using you for our-- I mean we kind of are using you for our-- but you have a say too.

1:47:30 John: You're not using me. We have a contract. We have a deal.

1:47:31 Markus: Exactly.

1:47:32 John: We have a deal. Some fuckin' moth shows up and says hey, fuckin' Kasara is trapped on the top of a tower. Go get her. Okay, like I didn't have things to do?

1:47:44 Markus: What do you get out of that?

1:47:45 John: What do I get outta that? Like I didn't have shit to do? Okay, sure. Just some fuckin' bird. I'm as smart as a human being but because I don't wear pants I'm like an asshole. I don't know, it doesn't make any fuckin' sense.

1:47:54 Markus: Look, you're getting your golden nest and everything you asked for, but look, when I take over my kingdom, kill my brother, take my rightful place on the throne, there's always gon' be a seat for you at the table.

1:48:04 Rekha: Aww.

1:48:05 John: (wings flapping) That's what I like to hear, Markus.

1:48:07 Markus: There's always gon' be a seat for you.

1:48:09 John: Let's get it done,

1:48:09 Brennan: and then turns around and flies back. You guys are up in the throne room. John Feather is there. Stalker and Lilith show up. You see that Hobbert and Frod are still out there and you guys all sort of converge on this place. And he goes

1:48:25 Hobbert: 'ello, everything all right?

1:48:29 Multiple: uhhhh

1:48:33 Brennan: The blood keep shakes, and by like a fraction of a degree you guys feel the floor tilt a little bit. (dramatic music)

1:48:41 Frod: Oh, look, it's like--

1:48:43 Efink: We have to get in there, so move aside.

1:48:46 Hobbert: Sorry the lord of shadows is taking a nap and having a snack.

1:48:50 Efink: Okay, listen.

1:48:52 Lilith: No, we were the ones who told you that.

1:48:53 Erika: Lilith kicks down the door. She just rears up on her hind legs and goes (boom).

1:48:59 Brennan: We just see Hobbert and Frod go,

1:49:01 Frod: it's our job to not let the door happen.

1:49:06 Lilith: What? I beg your pardon.

1:49:07 Hobbert: It's our job to not let the door happen.

1:49:09 Lilith: Well the door happened.

1:49:12 Brennan: You see they go and they say,

1:49:14 Frod: we're gonna go complain to Olag.

1:49:17 Brennan: And they both go run off.

1:49:22 Erika: Bust in there.

1:49:23 Brennan: You bust in there and you guys are in the throne room.

1:49:25 Efink: It's on the throne. I knew it. I knew it. It's on the throne as we speak. That's what they said. Yes, I'm amazing.

1:49:31 Brennan: You guys see a bare throne in front of you.

1:49:33 Efink: There it is. My bone.

1:49:40 Maggie: Who told you it was here?

1:49:42 Efink: My bone did. Oh no, my bone.

1:49:44 Sokhbarr: Efink. Efink.

1:49:46 Efink: That's knife backwards

1:49:48 Sokhbarr: Yeah, so this is the second time you beefed a pretty big--

1:49:55 Maggie: Bone throw.

1:49:55 Sokhbarr: Pretty big bone throw, which again, I feel like was the main thing we're relying on here. When you hear the information.

1:50:04 Lilith: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Her stupid husband also brought me here.

1:50:09 Erika: I'm gonna do a perception check.

1:50:11 Brennan: Cool, go for it.

1:50:14 Efink: Oh no, Percival.

1:50:19 Erika: 25.

1:50:21 Brennan: Yeah, Percival looks at you and you see he goes,

1:50:26 Stalker: I was tracking Hamhead, and she must have come through here, but then when we saw all them coming through we kinda dipped off the trail to come here and talk to your friends. I can jump back on the trail if you--

1:50:39 Lilith: Why wouldn't you stay on the trail when we said find the halfling?

1:50:43 Stalker: I thought maybe you knew about a web.

1:50:48 Lilith: I'm sorry, what?

1:50:49 Stalker: I thought maybe you knew about a web.

1:50:52 Lilith: Knew about a web? You're going to have to be--

1:50:57 Sokhbarr: Oh my god.

1:51:01 Efink: Did I distract you, honey?

1:51:03 Stalker: Yeah, you're the prettiest lady in the world.

1:51:06 Efink: Yeah, that's on repeat isn't it?

1:51:09 Stalker: We can go live in the forest.

1:51:11 Efink: Oh my god, you're starting to repeat a lot of things. Are you a sound board?

1:51:18 Stalker: I got chewed up pretty bad in that lava monster.

1:51:22 Lilith: Enough. Find the trail. And also, at the same time, 'cause the spiders, if they're attached in any way to the web, they can communicate with each other throughout the blood keep.

1:51:37 Brennan: Yes, throughout the thing, so all your spiders are communicating back. You hear Jessa being like,

1:51:42 Jessa: I'm down here in the tortury, mom, I'm not getting anything.

1:51:44 Brennan: Jason calls back up and he's like,

1:51:46 Jason: I'm in the library. There's a bunch of books attacking a lady. Other than that, pretty much nothing else.

1:51:52 Efink: The hours of that.

1:51:54 Maggie: Keldriel.

1:51:58 Brennan: Your spiders are getting back to you everywhere. You guys hear drums in the blood keep. Not from up here in the council, but you hear cries from down in the central plaza of the blood keep. Like the great grand causeway where the armies march, and you hear a voice shouting out from down there. And you see that the armies are gathered, and it looks like a lot of people are spooked. The blood keep's been moving around. You see there's like orcs and goblins and things like that, and you look down there and see Olag atop this giant dais, light these torches, and he goes

1:52:41 Olag: Orcs, goblins, trolls, for too long have we allowed the years of our one true lord, Zaul'nazh, to be bent by those who do not have his best interests at heart. Who do not even love the idea of dying for him. You see he looks out and goes I have been to the door of doom. I have leapt into the fray. I tried so hard to get killed. Truly, truly so hard, and I killed instead. The doors of doom have fallen.

1:53:21 Brennan: Screams from all the-- are gathered around, says,

1:53:25 Olag: our lord, Zaul'nazh, has fallen. His crown is destroyed. And I say this to you now, treachery. Treachery from his council. His false mistress. His lords and seers see false. His mercenaries plunder him dry, and his right hand stabs him in the back.

1:54:00 Brennan: Roars go up and you see that the Vinguri that are assembled there look to each other, and you see they say,

1:54:07 Vinguri: We do not feel the force of death from our brother Declan. Something treacherous indeed has happened.

1:54:19 Brennan: At that exact moment the doors fly open. Hobbert and Frod weeping come out into the plaza and say,

1:54:26 Hobbert: they kicked down and made the door happen.

1:54:30 Brennan: And you see that Olag goes,

1:54:32 Olag: Storm the bloodkeep, find the traitors, make them pay. And then we die together, slaughtered by the forces of light, to let Zaul'nazh know that we are his true servants.

1:54:52 Sokhbarr: Okay.

1:54:54 Ify: Markus floats down next to everyone.

1:54:56 Markus: What'd I miss? (laughter)

1:55:03 Efink: Oh, my god.

1:55:05 Maggie: Mistress. You asshole.

1:55:13 Markus: So yeah, John here says crown's definitely in here, so as long as we have free reign to be running around the castle without any danger, we should be able to find that crown (snaps) real quick.

1:55:25 Lilith: Seal the exits.

1:55:27 Markus: What's going on here?

1:55:29 Efink: Make the door rehappen.

1:55:31 Markus: What?

1:55:32 Maggie: The crown isn't here.

1:55:33 Sokhbarr: There's some sort of populous uprising. We are I guess the ruling elite right now. Ugh, alright.

1:55:40 Efink: How do you become the villains of the villains?

1:55:46 Brennan: You look out, by the way, and see all through the window, first of all you see hoards of goblins, orcs, the three Vinguri, everybody like storming up through the blood keep.

1:55:59 Efink: We have to get out of here. We have to leave. Bats for everyone,

1:56:02 Lilith: No.

1:56:03 Efink: Eagles for everyone.

1:56:03 Lilith: No, this is where the halfling is. We find the halfling, we find the crown.

1:56:08 Efink: Okay, new plan. Even that crown, I don't think was the best. What if we all just jumped onto the good wagon real quick?

1:56:15 Maggie: What? No!

1:56:16 Efink: We have the king, I'm the queen. Grant everyone amnesty, we're all fucking great over in the other city across the way.

1:56:27 Lilith: Let me tell you a little bit something about the good of men and elves and eagles.

1:56:35 John: Thanks, I'm not a good example of that, but I appreciate it.

1:56:39 Lilith: We all spent our time there in the good of Tiriath. You, sixth in line, ignored by your family, until the dark lord plucked you from obscurity. You, with your family and your brother. Your brother who told you you were nothing. And now what? Now what do we have? We have power. We have each other. This crown, this keep, is our one chance at happiness.

1:57:10 Markus: Lilith, I'm not a pedant, but you only pointed out two people right there.

1:57:14 Lilith: Do you want me to go through every single person?

1:57:17 Sokhbarr: No, we don't need you to go through everyone.

1:57:19 Maggie: No, it's fine

1:57:19 Lilith: No, no. It’s alright. It’s alright. It's alright. It's okay.

1:57:21 Brennan: You see that Jessa goes,

1:57:23 Jessa: pretty thirsty to ask for a compliment, yeesh. (laughter)

1:57:28 Lilith: Okay, okay. Well her father was a dark lord and you know, the elves are slaughtering your people left and right. So what? What are we going to do?

1:57:40 Leiland: I think this very much gives a bit of an insight into your duplicitous nature to jump sides so quickly.

1:57:45 Maggie: Yes, I agree.

1:57:47 Efink: I've literally said it the entire time that I wanted to keep the good guy around.

1:57:55 Stalker: Everyone's-- plenty of fish in the stream You guys wanna come over for dinner, you're welcome.

1:58:03 Efink: But the other option is to fight this army with Olag in the lead and I don't know if--

1:58:08 Leiland: Or to find the crown as quickly as possible and restore the dark lord.

1:58:12 Brennan: I'm gonna need perception checks from everybody.

1:58:18 Rekha: Great.

1:58:19 Matt: Cool.

1:58:20 Amy: 17.

1:58:20 Matt: 4 and a 4.

1:58:21 Erika: 28.

1:58:22 Ify: 20.

1:58:23 Trapp: Is J’er’em’ih rolling as well?

1:58:25 Brennan: No, that's fine. Lilith, and especially Markus, you guys both look outside as this like find the crown, defend the bloodkeep, or go to the side of good, you see descending from the clouds The Siren pulls up outta the clouds--

1:58:44 Markus: (laughs) We back baby. We back. Get it ready baby, we back.

1:58:51 Maggie: Wait, Markus, explain?

1:58:52 Markus: Oh, my flying ship is here.

1:58:55 Brennan: The Siren is supposed to be at Tor'Kelen. It is a direct contradiction of your orders that it is here. But you see that it lands and starts to batten down and tie itself to the port at the outside of the tower.

1:59:09 Sokhbarr: Didn't your hearing thing disappear around the same time the halfling did? Didn't your little communication with your ship disappear around the same time the halfling did?

1:59:17 Markus: If these motherfuckers stole my ship and parked it here--

1:59:24 Leiland: To the ship?

1:59:25 Markus: To the ship.

1:59:26 Leiland: To the ship.

1:59:27 Maggie: To the ship.

1:59:28 Efink: Oh, yes, yes, and back on the dark side, yes. Full force all the way, right Percival?

1:59:31 Stalker: I love ya baby. Wha- who, who’re ya fighting for?

1:59:35 Efink: Me.

1:59:36 Stalker: Okay.

1:59:37 Leiland: When all this is said and done, can we feed her to you?

1:59:39 Lilith: Yes, yes.

1:59:41 Brennan: You guys rush off together. John Feathers just takes off and he says,

1:59:45 John: Meet you at the ship.

1:59:45 Brennan: Takes off. The rest of you flee from here. Thankfully it's near the-- You can feel the hoards coming up through the blood keep underneath you. You can hear, you hear a bunch of (screeching) screeches, you hear Miles screaming out,

2:00:04 Miles: Leiland, we'd like to talk about where Declan might be.

2:00:12 Brennan: You guys all head off. You rush through. As you guys do, Stalker looks down. As you guys rush towards the ship he looks down and pulls a thread from the little spine of the statue and he goes,

2:00:27 Stalker: Look at that. That's halfling cloak.

2:00:33 Brennan: And rushed off towards the ship.

2:00:35 Matt: Follow suit, yeah.

2:00:37 Brennan: You guys rush towards the ship as fast as you can. You arrive. You see Ol’ Pickering on the deck, tying up.

2:00:47 Markus: What are you doing? Why'd you come back? You got the treasure already?

2:00:51 Ol’ Pickering: Sir, I thought you might know. You had your servant call us back.

2:00:57 Markus: No, that was an idiot. It was that little halfling, right?

2:01:04 Brennan: You see he says,

2:01:04 Ol’ Pickering: I don't know from a halfling, sir, but I'll tell you this is true right now. We made our way to Tor'Kellen thinking that only orcs and whatnot are there, but what we saw is that the orcs were slaughtered, and all of the sort of siegecraft just crumbled like the runes didn't work anymore.

2:01:22 Markus: Smart move. Where's Anne?

2:01:24 Ol’ Pickering: Also someone summoned a million ghosts.

2:01:28 Markus: What?

2:01:28 Sokhbarr: What?

2:01:29 Lilith: What?

2:01:29 Sokhbarr: I'm sorry, what?

2:01:30 Ol’ Pickering: Someone summoned a million ghosts.

2:01:31 Maggie: A million-- are you being hyperbolic?

2:01:32 Leiland: That doesn't even make any sense.

2:01:34 Lilith: But like bad ghosts, right?

2:01:35 Ol’ Pickering: No, these ghosts are-- I don't know. It's debatable.

2:01:38 Leiland: But ghosts are our thing. That's explicitly most of what we do.

2:01:44 Ol’ Pickering: I don't know they summoned--

2:01:45 Leiland: That's bullshit!

2:01:45 Ol’ Pickering: I agree. At the time I even went like god, if these ghosts had gotten here like two hours earlier, all these people would still be alive. It was really terrible. It was like a strange sort of like military deus ex machina that left sort of a sour taste in everyone's mouth.

2:02:02 Markus: Oh, yeah, that's--

2:02:03 Sokhbarr: This is the worst day ever. (laughter)

2:02:05 Leiland: Pretty terrible, I'm not going to lie.

2:02:06 Efink: I would like to reposition our option to join them. And just say that perhaps that is an option.

2:02:15 Markus: You're not coming on the ship. (laughter)

2:02:18 Ify: So I go up to Ol’ Pickering, kiss him on the forehead--

2:02:20 Ol’ Pickering: Oh, Captain.

2:02:22 Markus: You remember the first rule. Always save the ship. Where's Bad--

2:02:27 Brennan: You see that Bad Henry calls up from the crows nest and goes,

2:02:30 Bad Henry: Captain, I'm looking down, and I see that people are rushing up.

2:02:33 Markus: Oh, yeah, we're in a bad place right now. Also we got a new member of the crew. Wanted to introduce him before we get into all this. This is John Feathers. He's part of the crew.

2:02:41 Brennan: You see they all look and you see there's a weird moment where they're sizing each other up, you see that Bad Henry goes,

2:02:45 Bad Henry: Well, you're a large bird.

2:02:48 Brennan: And you see that John looks at him and says,

2:02:50 John: You're a large asshole.

2:02:52 Maggie: Oh!

2:02:53 Brennan: And you see that everybody goes (cheers), and you see Anne's like,

2:02:55 Anne: Right, I like this bird.

2:02:58 Brennan: And you see Ol’ Pickering says,

2:02:59 Ol’ Pickering: You fit right in, captain. You've an eye for talent.

2:03:02 Markus: Okay, so, all right so, obviously we gotta get on this ship no matter what. What should we do?

2:03:12 Leiland: I think we get on the ship, we take away the anchor, get away from this hoard, and then scour the interior for this fucking halfling.

2:03:21 Brennan: You see that Ol’ Pickering says,

2:03:21 Ol’ Pickering: Right, that's easy enough to do. Captain has to order.

2:03:25 Markus: All right, everybody get on. [to Efink] You can get on this time, but oh.

2:03:29 Efink: What if I reposition myself? I have a wonderful gesture to make.

2:03:37 Amy: And I look at Percival and I say,

2:03:37 Efink: Percival, kiss me.

2:03:42 Stalker: Ugh, heck yeah.

2:03:44 Amy: And I push him off the balcony.

2:03:46 Stalker: Oh, dang!

2:03:48 Efink: So we good?

2:03:50 Stalker: Oh, dang it. Oh, dang, no! (drawn out scream)

2:03:56 Sokhbarr: He's falling a long way.

2:03:57 Lilith: It's like 800 stories up.

2:03:57 Leiland: It's a very high tower.

2:04:00 Brennan: Splat.

2:04:02 Efink: Are we good?

2:04:04 Markus: We were good but, like, I felt like he coulda helped us find this halfling, but let's get in the ship.

2:04:09 Sokhbarr: I would say your vacillations make me less likely to trust you.

2:04:13 Maggie: (laughter) Yeah, it makes me so confused, and I already feel crazy.

2:04:17 Brennan: You guys rush onto the ship, you see Ol’ Pickering shouts out,

2:04:22 Ol’ Pickering: Captain’s orders, anchor away. Off to Tor- not to Tor'Kellen, not here to the blood keep. No safe harbor. To the skies, lads, to the skies.

2:04:30 Markus: I love when you say that.

2:04:32 Ol’ Pickering: They get to it. Feels dramatic, little flair. My prime days are behind me so I can't really participate with the buckling of swashes and such, but I can shout out a sort of colorful phrase or two. I like it.

2:04:45 Markus: That's why I love you.

2:04:46 Ol’ Pickering: All right.

2:04:48 Brennan: You guys take off, and you start to head towards the clouds. As you do, you start making for cloud cover, and John Feather's on the deck. You guys start scouring the ship for the halfling. As you do, you look up and see eagles descending from the clouds overhead in advance of the armies of light. You see John looks up and goes,

2:05:13 John: oh shit.

2:05:16 Brennan: And you see in their claws are a dwarf, an armored dwarf, a massive tree-being that is being carried by like a bunch of eagles all struggling to lift it, and your brother, Prince Tavian St. Vincent.

2:05:38 Markus: Son of a bitch.

2:05:40 Tavian: Little brother. Been quite a while, wouldn't you say?

2:05:45 Brennan: He is dropped, lands on the deck of the ship, and as you guys take off over the skies of Gorgar, I'm gonna need everybody here to roll initiative.

2:05:55 Amy: Oh my gosh.

2:05:56 Brennan: That is all for this week on Escape from the Bloodkeep. Tune in next time for a little battle in the smoke-filled skies of Gorgar. Seeya then. (cheers) (applause) [NEXT EPISODE : Episode 4: Airship Ambush] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20]

2:06:09 Brennan: We find our vile villains here in the skies above Gorgar onboard The Siren, flagship of the forgotten fleet.

2:06:18 Tavian: Markus, come home.

2:06:20 Markus: Yeah, I wanna come home, but without you, so we got the same plan.

2:06:24 Olag: Somebody fucking kill me.

2:06:26 Markus: We're having a real airship battle now, boys.

2:06:29 Brennan: That's a nat 20. (Trapp laughs)

2:06:34 Olag: I have been cursed with eternal life. Fuck!

2:06:34 Captions extracted by: gluegunshots

2:06:34 Edited by: crazy frog!, gluegunshots, matzoballmonk, solsys