The Battle of the Hot Dog Cart

0:00:01 The Unsleeping City: Chapter II Lou Wilson as Kingston Brown; Ally Beardsley as Pete Conlan; Zac Oyama as Ricky Matsui; Siobhan Thompson as “Anastasia” Iga Lisowski; Emily Axford as Sofia Lee; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Cody “Night Angel” Walsh Episode 12: The Battle of the Hot Dog Cart < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] > [the classic "Unsleeping City" theme plays]

0:00:09 Brennan: Hello, one and all, and welcome back to another thrilling episode of "The Unsleeping City". I'm your humble Dungeon Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our Intrepid Heroes. Say hi, Intrepid Heroes.

0:00:19 All: [pretending to punch the screen] Hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:00:22 Brennan: Last we left off, our champions of New York City had become itty bitty, oh so tiny, in order to get to the Monastery of the Sacred Rat, following their expedition to the Sixth Borough and the attack on Nod by the entity known as Null, given that name by Pete Conlan, Vox Phantasma of New York City. We discovered that this entity was moving upon the world in a very aggressive, horrifying way. It was connected both magically and through the waking world to all of these properties of isolation, erasure, the forgotten, and the feeling of emptiness and loneliness that fills the hearts of those who have forgotten their past, their future, and their present. We also found Ricky had a connection to the spirits of New York, who specifically were helping to protect, shield, and hide the city away from entities like Null. The Unicorn of the Cloisters, the spicy pigeon, who is now Perry the Pigeon, and the Juicy Cockroach, AKA Marty, who is the leader of the Monastery of the Sacred Rat, a cockroach monastery dedicated to the Sacred Rat himself, Rat Jesus, Kugrash.

0:01:09 Zac: [making praying motion] Cheesus.

0:01:55 Brennan: We also discovered… We also had a trip to the doctor last session. Pete and Sofia checking in with Dr. Lugash Primjitzski, the Unsleeping City's premier gangster doctor. And we also had a incredible journey into the castle at the center of Iga Lisowski's family heirloom, this magical chest where Iga was the first in her line to release Smoczamatka, the Dragon Mother, and Queen of the Realms of Myth and Legend within the chest, to fly free, which seemed to strengthen and increase the magic of this place as dragons are beings of pure magic. Smoczamatka thanked Iga for this, although it calls into question what Iga's relationship to the chest, her own magic, her family, and this dragon will be. And Smoczamatka also released the troublemaker egg that had appeared to be the thing fighting back against Null the hardest, which was this incredible granite and gold graffiti-covered egg, a New York City dragon's egg, from within the hoard of this dragon. However, upon meeting the monks of the Sacred Rat, all of you discovered ants approaching the hotdog cart, a legion of which are approaching right now, and thus, we leap into combat. Let's go ahead and get our Intrepid Heroes on the board.

0:03:41 Siobhan: [very seriously] Hey, quick question, Brennan, since we are tiny right now, could you say that we were the Itty Bitty New York City Committee?

0:03:47 Brennan: The Itty Bitty New York City Committee indeed.

0:03:52 Lou: Woah.

0:03:54 Zac: [weakly] You could. You could. (laughing)

0:03:57 Siobhan: I guess you could say that. I'm just wondering.

0:04:00 Ally: Just wondering if you could.

0:04:00 Siobhan: Just wondering if you could. The screen shows the Roll20 set for today; it features a ton of bugs.

0:04:03 Ally: Yeah.

0:04:03 Siobhan: Oh, my god, there's so many.

0:04:06 Zac: Cool.

0:04:06 Siobhan: Oh, boy.

0:04:07 Lou: Damn.

0:04:07 Siobhan: Are those ants? Are those all ants?

0:04:11 Lou: Ants?

0:04:13 Brennan: You guys have some cockroach allies around you.

0:04:14 Emily: I don't see ants.

0:04:14 Zac: Are those catapults?

0:04:19 Brennan: They're actually ketchupults, thank you very much.

0:04:22 Siobhan: Oh, goddammit.

0:04:22 Murph: Oh, no.

0:04:25 Zac: You ever just walk right into it? (Brennan laughing)

0:04:28 Emily: Who— (laughs)

0:04:30 Siobhan: Their little mustard battering ram.

0:04:33 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:04:33 Emily: Who are the ants? From these little icons, who are the ants and who are the cockroaches?

0:04:41 Brennan: You can see that out on the battlefield with you, there are four cockroach monks, and then Marty, the cockroach elder, they are in the courtyard. So, these are the cockroach monks, these are the four—

0:04:52 Emily: So, that's who's around us?

0:04:52 Brennan: Yeah. Those are the four that are surrounding you. That's Marty.

0:04:56 Zac: He's so tired.

0:04:59 Brennan: He's so— [cockroach voice] Dude, forget it, he's been working his ass off. [normal] That's Marty. So, it's just the four monks and Marty in the courtyard of the monastery with you. For the ants, you'll see there are ant legionnaires, and then there are also ant centurions. These are the centurions. So, these are the ants. These are sort of the leaders or the commanders of the ants that are bigger, sort of like soldier ants.

0:05:28 Emily: And it looks like they're each individually commanding the ones who are working the ketchupults and the—

0:05:37 Brennan: Yes. And then those are the legionnaires. The largest group is the ones that are manning, and even though you see them there, they are manning the mustard wagon, the mustard ram, and then there are squadrons of the commanders… Yeah, squadrons of commanders with the ketchupults, and then these two melee squadrons as well in the back, sort of in reserve. Our first to act is gonna be Sofia Lee.

0:06:10 Emily: Okay. I'm gonna ask you a really stupid question, and I know the answer's no, but before we kind of did it, that even though we were tiny, Mage Hand could still lift five pounds. Is that still the case? (laughs)

0:06:24 Brennan: Nobody here has a ninth level Telekinesis as a cantrip.

0:06:29 Emily: Okay. (laughing) You know, you have to ask if they're—

0:06:33 Brennan: You have to ask, and honestly, you know, Emily, you know I never knock the hustle. I never knock the hustle.

0:06:37 Lou: Never knock the hustle.

0:06:41 Emily: Okay, then I think this is gonna be… I mean, I keep rolling well for initiative, and honestly, I don't love it. (laughs) I'm gonna go ahead and just charge. I'm gonna assume that this very front ant is gonna be commanding this mustard bottle, which seems to be a threat. So, I think I'm just gonna go to town on the commander ant.

0:07:14 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:07:14 Lou: Hell yeah.

0:07:15 Brennan: That ant calls out and says, [fanfare]

0:07:19 Ant: Monks of the Monastery of the Sacred Rat, you are hereby ordered to subject yourselves to the rule of her Rightful Queen of the Throgs Neck Colony, Her Majesty! (chanting)

0:07:31 Brennan: They all yell out.

0:07:31 Zac: The Frog's Neck?

0:07:35 Brennan: Or the Queen of Throgs Neck.

0:07:36 Zac: Throgs Neck.

0:07:36 Brennan: Throgs Neck, not a fantasy name, a real New York name of a place. (Brennan and Emily laughing)

0:07:44 Emily: Cool. I'm just gonna say,

0:07:45 Sofia: Shut the fuck up, dude.

0:07:47 Emily: And jump on him.

0:07:47 Lou: Ayy.

0:07:49 Emily: I believe I should easily be able to make that. Yeah. Let's… So, I'm gonna jump on him, and I'm just gonna start hitting. Try and see what I can do.

0:08:02 Brennan: Hell yeah. Go ahead and roll your attacks.

0:08:06 Emily: Okay, first one's a 26.

0:08:09 Ally: [nodding approvingly] Yeah.

0:08:09 Lou: Yep, yep.

0:08:11 Emily: That is 10 damage. Gonna try and Stunning Strike him.

0:08:17 Brennan: [shaking his head a little] Oh, god, here we fucking go.

0:08:17 Emily: It's this song and dance.

0:08:20 Brennan: I know this fucking song. Hold on. (Emily laughing)

0:08:24 Brennan: Okay. He rolls a 14, which is not gonna do it. He is stunned, baby.

0:08:35 Emily: [laughs] Great, then I'll keep attacking him with advantage. Oh, god, I wish I'd Hexblade Cursed him 'cause I got a 19. That's gonna… Okay, that's gonna be a 28 to hit. Another 11 damage.

0:08:50 Brennan: So, that's 10 and 11 so far, right? Yeah.

0:08:54 Emily: Actually, that time I only rolled an 18. Does an 18 hit?

0:08:58 Brennan: 18 does hit, yes.

0:09:00 Emily: Okay. So, that's gonna be another seven, and then I'm gonna Flurry of Blows for one more bonus attack. And that is 24. And another nine damage. And then I'll just shout out to everyone,

0:09:17 Sofia: He's stunned! (Brennan and Lou laughing)

0:09:20 Sofia: Go at him.

0:09:21 Emily: Can I do an insight check to see if these little ants are waiting on his command and authority?

0:09:32 Brennan: They look pretty shocked that their commander… So basically what happens, is he says, "You will all surrender to Her Majesty, the Queen of Throgs Neck." Sofia sprinting across the rusted surface of the hotdog cart, you hear the reverberations off the cliffs of the soda and napkin shelves. Boom, boom, boom! (rumbling) Just grabs, spins this dude's helmet around so he's looking at the back of his helmet, and just body him with knee shots to his ant groin. Just, bam, bam, bam! And he stumbles down. All his soldiers look horrified as their stunned commander is just right in front of them.

0:10:13 Sofia: He just told me that you all should turn your mustard bottle around and go elsewhere. He just whispered it to me. Right? Do nothing if you agree with me.

0:10:28 Brennan: That is Sofia's turn. Holy shit. It is now going to be… Let me see here. No, out of range.

0:10:42 Lou: Hell yeah.

0:10:44 Brennan: Cool. These monks are going to join in the action. So, these monks, these two, bam, bam, are gonna run out here to join you, Sofia.

0:11:03 Emily: You attack with advantage.

0:11:06 Brennan: Incredible. These two are going to rush out to these positions, just to defend the gate, just hold the gate of the monastery, basically. And each take a dodge action. We're gonna roll with advantage for these… For monks of the Sacred Rat. Let's see.

0:11:30 Emily: (laughs) I can't wait to see them in action.

0:11:33 Brennan: Incredible. So, let's go ahead and roll. We're gonna roll 2d20.

0:11:38 Zac: Come on, monks. Come on, little cockroaches. Get juicy.

0:11:43 Brennan: Two hits on the first… Or, one hit 'cause its advantage. Hit again. Next one. Crit. Next one.

0:11:50 Murph: Nice.

0:11:53 Brennan: Is also a hit because of the advantage. That is effectively five hits, so that's gonna be 5d6 plus eight. Hold on. I'll roll this in front of the board.

0:12:10 Lou: Whoo.

0:12:10 Siobhan: Yes.

0:12:11 Brennan: 27 points of damage. Oh my god. This dude is not dropped. He is not dropped. Yeah, no.

0:12:22 Siobhan: I like that the dice are in scale to this set now.

0:12:27 Brennan: Yes, (laughs) absolutely. But you see two of the monks go,

0:12:32 Monks: Hell yeah, you got the fucking moves! This lady with the plastic bag shoes, she knows what time it is, huh?

0:12:37 Brennan: (imitates punching) And they (whirring). Passing the toothpick stabs in between their two sets of arms. (imitates punching) Just punching at the same time as they're swinging 'cause they've got the limbs for it. These cockroach monks are pretty good. [marching, warlike music]

0:12:54 Brennan: After them it is going to be the ant centurions. This one is stunned. This one here is going to hold an action. Actually, no, he's gonna roll an attack against Sofia.

0:13:14 Emily: Which one?

0:13:16 Brennan: Not the one that you stunned.

0:13:18 Ally: Which Sofia?

0:13:20 Brennan: This one is going to take a double move. Homeboy here surges forward to the back of the mustard wagon and is going to bark for one of the ants to take an attack against Sofia. Hits. And that's going to be… Sofia takes four points of damage.

0:13:46 Emily: Okay.

0:13:48 Brennan: Next. Yeah, this one is going to just move.

0:13:53 Emily: So, this is the top of a hotdog cart, right? Is there boiling oil in...?

0:13:57 Brennan: Yes. So, the hotdog cart is being kept heated by the cockroaches here, so yes, there is boiling stuff. There is hot stuff in the hotdog pits and stuff like that. Absolutely.

0:14:10 Emily: Oh, I should've just stunned this dude then threw him in the boiling oil. (laughing)

0:14:15 Brennan: That is now going to be… The other centurions are going to steer their ketchupults. I'm going to need a Dexterity saving throw from Ox, Pete, and Cody.

0:14:30 Zac: No!

0:14:30 Murph: Fuck. [sighs]

0:14:33 Siobhan: Cody, oh no.

0:14:33 Zac: Why is Ox not next to that? (laughing) Ox, come back. Dexterity for Ox, okay.

0:14:43 Ally: That's 11.

0:14:44 Brennan: 11, cool.

0:14:46 Murph: My new triple sword gives me disadvantage on dexterity checks. Ally briefly covers their face.

0:14:49 Zac: Wait, do they get plus four because they're next to Cody?

0:14:52 Brennan: 'Cause they're within 10 feet. If they're within 10 feet of Ricky, then yes, they do.

0:14:55 Ally: 15.

0:14:55 Zac: Or Cody’s. Does Cody's work?

0:14:58 Murph: Yeah, Cody gets plus four to all saves to people within 10 feet.

0:15:03 Zac: All right, 12.

0:15:03 Brennan: Okay.

0:15:06 Zac: 12 for Ox.

0:15:08 Brennan: 12, 15 for Pete.

0:15:08 Murph: I got a 15 as well.

0:15:11 Brennan: Okay. You guys take four points of damage as a giant splotch of ketchup hits you guys with a ketchupult. That's going to be… I'm gonna need a dexterity from Iga, Kingston, and Misiek as well.

0:15:24 Lou: Ooh.

0:15:37 Siobhan: Mm-mm, we rolled poorly.

0:15:41 Lou: Yeah, why you come for the old people like that? That's only a 7.

0:15:43 Siobhan: I got a 5 and Misiek got a 4. (Lou laughs)

0:15:49 Brennan: You guys take 19 points of—

0:15:53 Lou: Damn!

0:15:55 Brennan: Take 19 points of acid damage.

0:15:57 Siobhan: Misiek is dead.

0:15:57 Zac: Oh, no!

0:16:02 Brennan: [dragon squeal] Misiek is toast.

0:16:02 Emily: What does that mean?

0:16:06 Murph: Like, dead dead, or out?

0:16:06 Zac: Like, unconscious?

0:16:08 Siobhan: I mean, that's more than double his hit point max.

0:16:12 Zac: Wait, how close is he to me?

0:16:13 Siobhan: He's a familiar, though. Can I revive him with Find Familiar?

0:16:16 Brennan: Oh, Misiek has died so many times. You just go back into the chest and get him again.

0:16:21 Siobhan: Okay, great. Phew.

0:16:23 Brennan: You wake up, I would say, every three mornings or so, you wake up and Misiek is dead and you have to go back into the chest.

0:16:28 Murph: Just have died of natural causes in your living room? That's horrifying.

0:16:31 Siobhan: Just constantly. [mimics retching]

0:16:35 Brennan: He's not looking well ever. These guys are supposed to live for 15 years max, he's been alive for centuries.

0:16:42 Emily: All right. I look to Iga to see what her reaction is to Misiek dying.

0:16:49 Iga: He dies all the time, it's fine, [rubs her forehead] it just smells a little bit when it… It's okay. I love him so much, he's a good boy.

0:16:56 Ricky: Who beefed? (laughing)

0:16:59 Cody: Wasn't me.

0:17:01 Ricky: Cody, did you beef?

0:17:01 Cody: No, I didn't beef.

0:17:05 Ricky: Whoever denied it supplied it, dude.

0:17:10 Brennan: That's going to be—

0:17:10 Cody: Fuck. It's airtight.

0:17:11 Brennan: That's gonna be Cody, the Night Angel's turn.

0:17:12 Murph: Shit. (laughing) Oh, god. Is my moped here? It's here right? Please.

0:17:22 Brennan: Would you have brought it to the gnomes?

0:17:24 Murph: Yes. Yes, definitely.

0:17:28 Emily: I would say that tracks. He's pretty obsessed with the moped.

0:17:31 Brennan: Cool. The moped—

0:17:33 Siobhan: It's the one thing that he has left.

0:17:34 Murph: I need it, I can't move.

0:17:34 Brennan: The moped is here. I'm not gonna fuck you on this terrible fucking sword, and then—

0:17:38 Murph: I literally can't move. Yes, I will read what my sword does right before I attack. So, it's gonna be 60 feet of movement with the moped, Cody with this giant ridiculous sword, looking extremely depressed. Revs his moped and gets pretty far, but is gonna have to hop off the moped and hoof it to this dude right here. Or, I guess I don't have to, I could do a dash with my moped, right?

0:18:09 Brennan: Uh-huh. Yes, absolutely.

0:18:10 Murph: Okay. So, I'll just moped up and really halfheartedly go,

0:18:18 Cody: [monotone] Fucking Sword Art Thirsting Blade, Dark Excalibur, Mega Genesis, give me strength.

0:18:24 Murph: And I will read this ridiculous sword that Brennan sent to me. You have a minus two bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon, but it's plus 30 to damage. You must use your object interaction every round on your turn to make a DC 15 Athletics check, I'm not proficient, to use this weapon. So, that's me pulling it up—

0:18:46 Emily: Because it's so heavy?

0:18:46 Murph: Because it's so heavy. Every attack with this weapon is rolled with disadvantage and no attack made with it can be granted advantage. On a nat 20 this weapon deals an additional 20d10 necrotic damage and you regain that many hit points. This weapon gives you disadvantage on Dexterity-based checks and saving throws. So, it is so powerful—

0:19:07 Emily: [holding up two fingers] You have to roll.

0:19:10 Zac: You can only get a nat 20.

0:19:10 Emily: You have to roll a nat 20, but with disadvantage.

0:19:13 Siobhan: Two nat 20s.

0:19:14 Murph: Twice.

0:19:15 Emily: You have to roll two nat 20s.

0:19:17 Murph: After getting— yeah. So...

0:19:18 Siobhan: After beating your 15 Athletics check, which you don't have proficiency in.

0:19:24 Murph: So, just to lift my sword, I need to roll an 11, so I'll just roll that in front of the table.

0:19:30 Brennan: Roll in front of the table.

0:19:33 Murph: Cody tries his damnedest to lift this thing. Murph rolls a natural 1. (cast laughing)

0:19:44 Lou: Haaaa! Damn, dude.

0:19:44 Murph: I fart. I do fart. After Ricky made fun of me, I just rip ass so hard.

0:19:51 Zac: Ricky has a perfect sense of smell.

0:19:54 Brennan: I'm gonna need a DC 20 Dexterity saving throw right now.

0:19:59 Murph: Fuck!

0:19:59 Ally: You have disadvantage.

0:20:00 Emily: To not get crushed by it?

0:20:00 Siobhan: With disadvantage.

0:20:03 Emily: To not get crushed by your own sword?

0:20:08 Brennan: That was a natural one. (laughing)

0:20:11 Murph: All right, I'm rolling them in front of the board. I get plus two to this.

0:20:14 Brennan: Roll in front of the board.

0:20:14 Murph: I get a plus two to this. (it’s a 14 and a 5) Fuck. Okay, so—

0:20:22 Lou: 7. It's okay.

0:20:22 Murph: I got a 7.

0:20:24 Lou: It's not 20. (laughing)

0:20:27 Brennan: Okay.

0:20:28 Zac: Do you get a plus four?

0:20:28 Ally: It's not 20.

0:20:31 Murph: No, only plus two. Oh wait, was it saving throw?

0:20:33 Brennan: Saving throw.

0:20:36 Murph: Okay, so, sorry. So, I do have my aura. I am still a paladin somehow. I got an 11.

0:20:41 Brennan: An 11, cool. The DC was 20.

0:20:43 Murph: Great. Very neat.

0:20:46 Brennan: Hold on one second.

0:20:50 Zac: Stack.

0:20:51 Brennan: Cody, you do make it to that square, but rolling that Athletics check, you, on your moped, go into top speed, go to make a slight turn, over correct, and wipe out on your moped, stabbing yourself very badly for 30 points of damage as you crash.

0:21:12 Ally: [?] Oh, no!

0:21:14 Brennan: As you crash your moped.

0:21:14 Cody: Mega Genesis, how could you?

0:21:17 Mega Genesis: What's up? I'm the bad boy of the triple sword. Get ready for Thirsting Blade, Dark Excalibur, Mega Ge—

0:21:26 Brennan: (imitates banging) Wipe out.

0:21:31 Zac: For 30 points of damage? Is that what you—

0:21:33 Brennan: He gets into a top speed moped crash holding a sword that is sharp in all directions. There's no way to hold this without… You know how Darth Maul would absolutely have cut himself in half? You know how double weapons exist fucking nowhere in real history or life?

0:21:53 Murph: It's a triple weapon. It's a fork.

0:21:58 Brennan: It's just a made up, nerd… People don't fucking have a way to hold a weapon so that a sharp point is ever pointing back at you.

0:22:08 Murph: I'm just laying in it. I'm wearing tiny shoes from Pete that are too small for my feet. I have that way too big shirt and pants from the construction worker and I'm just covered in a giant sword under my moped.

0:22:24 Cody: Fucking leave me here. (cast laughing)

0:22:27 Brennan: Fucking leave me here.

0:22:27 Ally: Oh my god.

0:22:28 Zac: Should you use your second attack, or? (laughing)

0:22:31 Murph: Oh, I do have a second.

0:22:32 Brennan: No, no.

0:22:32 Murph: Fuck. No?

0:22:34 Brennan: Cody cannot… You have an action, but you have to roll, as your object interaction, an Athletics check to see if you can use the sword that turn. You cannot use the sword this turn because you rolled a natural 1. You have an action left—

0:22:48 Murph: Oh, right. Cool.

0:22:51 Brennan: But there are no attacks happening this turn, at least with Thirsting Blade, Dark Excalibur, Mega Genesis.

0:22:57 Siobhan: Can you punch the ant?

0:22:59 Murph: I hold my hand out and I'll cast Inflict Wounds. So, I just go like,

0:23:03 Cody: Fuck you, dude.

0:23:06 Murph: From under the moped.

0:23:08 Cody: Fucking eat my ass.

0:23:12 Murph: It needs to… Okay, it's a plus 8 to hit. Let's see. 26 to hit.

0:23:22 Brennan: 26 hits.

0:23:22 Murph: Okay. I'm rolling the damage. I got D&D Beyond here. Nine, 13 damage.

0:23:33 Brennan: Oh my god.

0:23:33 Murph: Yeah. I think it's just 13 necrotic damage. Jesus Christ, what a shitty turn.

0:23:42 Sofia: Cody, I was gonna ask if you're okay, but I can tell you're not.

0:23:45 Cody: No.

0:23:47 Sofia: But I wanted to make the move to let you know that I care if you're okay.

0:23:53 Cody: Appreciate it. I'm just gonna stay under this fucking moped.

0:23:58 Murph: I guess I get up so that they don't get advantage on me, and that's my turn.

0:24:03 Brennan: You guys see Cody's got some bad road rash and a bad cut on him from… I can't believe you rolled a nat 1 on your first roll. Whoo, baby. Okay. That is Cody's turn.

0:24:23 Siobhan: Legendary.

0:24:23 Brennan: Legendary. A legendarily bad turn. Maybe the worst turn in Dimension 20 history.

0:24:31 Murph: Has anyone ever done 30 damage to themselves and done nothing?

0:24:35 Lou: 10d6 to self.

0:24:35 Emily: That's not true, you—

0:24:36 Zac: You hurt somebody a little bit.

0:24:37 Emily: You did Inflict Wounds.

0:24:37 Murph: Oh yeah, I did. I got to reach my hand out and Inflict Wounds after I dropped my fucking sword on myself.

0:24:45 Brennan: "Fuck you, dude," from the ground, did Inflict Wounds on this ant. (cast laughing)

0:24:55 Emily: Wow, I love this sword. [laughs] It's so funny.

0:24:59 Brennan: This is very, very good. Very, very good. Okay. That's Cody. The commander that rushed up behind the mustard wagon, you see calls out and says,

0:25:17 Ant Commander: Ants, pay no heed. Fall back, fire! [military snare drum marching beat]

0:25:21 Brennan: And you see that the mustard wagon is going to move back. Oh. Moves back. I'm gonna need a dexterity saving throw from Sofia and both these monks.

0:25:50 Emily: Okay.

0:25:50 Lou: And the centurion?

0:25:52 Brennan: And the centurion, actually. So, we're gonna roll—

0:25:55 Emily: He's gonna automatically fail Dex saves.

0:25:57 Lou: Ooh.

0:25:57 Brennan: Oh, baby.

0:25:58 Emily: Because he's stunned.

0:25:59 Murph: They're gonna mustard their own guy?

0:26:01 Emily: Oh, I just crit! I crit, I got a 20 on my Dex save.

0:26:04 Brennan: With Evasion you take no damage. These cockroach monks have a plus two to this save. The DC's very low, the DC's only 10. Hold on one second. Eight or higher will do it. Oh, one of them does not get it done. So, Sofia, you take no damage. One of these… You see that they see centurion is a goner, and these ants ruthlessly and remorselessly torch their own centurion, squeeze the bottle, and blast Sofia and both cockroaches. [mustard squirt noise] As they do so… Let me just see here real quick.

0:26:56 Emily: Is this like… I've never used this before. Just 'cause I don't know what the mustard is reflavored as, but would this be a Deflect Missiles opportunity, or?

0:27:07 Brennan: This is unfortunately Area of Effect.

0:27:09 Emily: Okay, yeah.

0:27:11 Zac: But you don't take any damage, right?

0:27:12 Emily: Right, yeah, no, I take no damage.

0:27:16 Brennan: 15 and 12, that's 27. 27 means this monk has taken—

0:27:30 Emily: Oh, I see what you mean.

0:27:30 Brennan: 13. You guys see this monk here drops to death saves.

0:27:35 Emily: Oh!

0:27:38 Zac: No!

0:27:38 Emily: No.

0:27:39 Brennan: (whooshing) As mustard splatters all over. That is the mustard wagon's turn, and now it's gonna be these ant legionnaires that are gonna charge forward.

0:27:56 Zac: They go twice?

0:27:57 Brennan: Only the centurions went.

0:27:59 Zac: Oh, the legionnaires, gotcha.

0:28:01 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. These guys surge forward over here. These guys are going to (imitates marching) surge here. And these guys are going to go, gonna come around here. One. Two. Three. Four. Surrounding Cody. And then—

0:28:35 Murph: I just realized something, Brennan.

0:28:37 Brennan: Yeah?

0:28:38 Murph: Cody definitely doesn't have leather armor, the studded leather armor anymore, he definitely just has... right?

0:28:45 Brennan: Yeah.

0:28:45 Murph: 'Cause he just… So, my armor class is, what is it? 10 plus your Dex?

0:28:51 Brennan: Yep.

0:28:54 Murph: Cool, so my armor class is now 12. Emily laughs. Siobhan and Ally have their hands over their mouths. Zac has his face in his hands.

0:28:57 Brennan: Cody, you see these ants… Cody, only you can see these ants right now. You see that they are carrying long straws. They have long pieces of straw around them. But now we're gonna roll a bunch of attacks to see—

0:29:18 Ally: No.

0:29:20 Brennan: How much you can see more than that. So, what's your current armor class, Cody?

0:29:24 Murph: 12.

0:29:28 Brennan: Ohh, boy. 12, let’s see.

0:29:30 Murph: Trying to get up my sword to block.

0:29:32 Cody: Come on. (Emily laughs)

0:29:37 Brennan: You take five points of slashing damage.

0:29:41 Murph: Okay.

0:29:42 Brennan: [rolls] Oh, shit.

0:29:42 Murph: No.

0:29:46 Brennan: You take five points of slashing damage, 12, 14, 17 points of piercing damage, and I'm gonna need three Constitution saving throws.

0:30:05 Murph: First one is a 17.

0:30:05 Brennan: Cool.

0:30:07 Murph: Next one is a 16. Next one is a 24.

0:30:11 Brennan: You are not poisoned. Murph stares with a truly terrified look before rolling his eyes in relief.

0:30:13 Brennan: As these ant legionnaires, (grunts) start slashing with gladiuses they are also biting you with their mandibles, and you can feel powerful ant venom as they attempt to bite you. You see this group of ants to the north of you hustle towards the wall and vanish.

0:30:37 Ally: No.

0:30:37 Siobhan: Oh, shit.

0:30:39 Emily: Oh. As in, they cast Invisibility, or as in, they entered something?

0:30:48 Brennan: You're surrounded by ants on all sides, Cody, that are kicking your ass. You can't see past that Heineken bottle, so you don't see what happens when they actually get to the wall.

0:30:59 Murph: All right. I will yell,

0:31:00 Cody: Some ants are kicking my ass, but they're big ants, so it's fine. There's other ants that either turned invisible or jumped over a wall. They're all big ants.

0:31:17 Brennan: 30, hold on. Okay. A bunch of these ants are also gonna take some shots at Sofia, whose armor class is currently 19. One, two, three. Four. One, two. Holy shit. All misses as peel 'em, these spears. Also, you can do Deflect Missiles if you want… No, because that's only if it hits.

0:31:58 Emily: It's only if it hits, yeah.

0:31:59 Brennan: Yeah, so you effortlessly are spinning out of the way of the mustard, take no damage, spears rain past you. None of them hit. That is going to be Kingston Brown.

0:32:13 Lou: Okay. [disappointed] Cody, what are you at?

0:32:16 Murph: I'm at 36. (Emily laughing)

0:32:20 Lou: Okay. Okay.

0:32:22 Cody: I'm fine, Kingston.

0:32:23 Kingston: And you're trapped?

0:32:27 Emily: Kingston, I think I can go retrieve him, if you wanna do other stuff.

0:32:30 Cody: No one needs to retrieve me, it's fine.

0:32:32 Ally: Did you shit your pants and then a bunch of ants bit you?

0:32:35 Cody: I farted, I didn't fucking shit my pants.

0:32:37 Iga: You've got ants in your pants?

0:32:38 Cody: I fucking farted.

0:32:38 Iga: Cody.

0:32:41 Cody: I ripped. I fucking ripped a loud one—

0:32:44 Iga: It's because the pants are so big, the ants can get in there.

0:32:47 Cody: Oh. No, the ants are bigger than the pants.

0:32:50 Ricky: How’s your moped?

0:32:51 Cody: What?

0:32:51 Ally: I don't know if I've ever—

0:32:51 Ricky: How’s your moped?

0:32:55 Cody: My moped’s flipped.

0:32:56 Ally: If I've told this story on this show, but one of the funniest things ever was, in class one time, a woman in the hallway outside farted and dropped all the papers she was holding. And that one, two, it was the funniest thing ever. And the idea that you stabbed yourself after farting is so funny. (laughing)

0:33:18 Lou: Too good.

0:33:20 Emily: You crashed your moped 'cause you were distracted by your own fart.

0:33:26 Lou: I'm gonna do… Okay, I look to Sofia and I say,

0:33:29 Kingston: All right, you get him to me and we'll take care of him.

0:33:32 Sofia: Yeah, yeah.

0:33:32 Lou: And I'll get… I'll go, I think this is about 30 feet, right? Check.

0:33:39 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:33:40 Lou: Yeah, I'll go right there. Actually, I should go right here. I'm gonna cast… How exposed are these ants?

0:33:51 Brennan: Which ones? The ones carrying the wagon, or the ones around Cody?

0:33:53 Lou: The ones carrying the wagon.

0:33:57 Brennan: They are, I know they look like they're on top of it, but they're actually sort of pushing it from the sides as they move along.

0:34:06 Lou: Can I throw a Lightning Bolt just down that line? (whooshing)

0:34:10 Murph: You love to see it.

0:34:10 Emily: Oh.

0:34:11 Murph: You absolutely love to see it.

0:34:12 Brennan: Holy shit.

0:34:12 Lou: Wow.

0:34:13 Brennan: Yes, Kingston, you absolutely can.

0:34:15 Sofia: See, I wanted you to do something fun for yourself.

0:34:19 Kingston: Yeah, I wanted to do it, too, but I was like, I wanna take care of the boy.

0:34:23 Sofia: The boy, I think we can, yeah, throw those lightning bolts.

0:34:26 Kingston: We'll get him back.

0:34:27 Lou: Yeah, we'll cast fourth level Lightning Bolt. I just throw 9d6 down the line.

0:34:37 Brennan: Go ahead and give me 9d6 damage, Kingston.

0:34:41 Lou: You know what? We'll roll it… Can I roll it in this? I don't know how.

0:34:44 Brennan: Yeah. Backslash roll—

0:34:45 Murph: Just slash roll.

0:34:47 Brenan: And then space "9d6".

0:34:51 Lou: Backslash roll—

0:34:51 Siobhan: It's forward slash.

0:34:53 Brennan: Or forward slash roll.

0:34:53 Murph: Yeah, just slash roll.

0:34:58 Lou: Did that work?

0:34:59 Brennan: Yeah, there it is.

0:34:59 Ally: Ooh.

0:35:00 Emily: Yeah.

0:35:00 Lou: Cool.

0:35:01 Brennan: Ooh, Doctor.

0:35:01 Siobhan: Wow.

0:35:03 Lou: 31.

0:35:03 Emily: Yeah.

0:35:06 Lou: 31 points of damage to anyone who fails a DC17 saving throw.

0:35:10 Brennan: Okay. Let's throw 6d20 in front of the board. A 16. Oh, god, those are low rolls. Jesus. The rolls were three 8s, a 3, a 9, and a 16.

0:35:22 Murph: Wow.

0:35:25 Brennan: Hold on. And you did 31 points of damage?

0:35:28 Lou: I did.

0:35:29 Brennan: Oh, god.

0:35:29 Siobhan: Bye-bye!

0:35:33 Emily: Does Lightning Bolt catch things on fire? Does it do like a—

0:35:35 Lou: It does. Anything that's not worn—

0:35:36 Emily: So, those Popsicle sticks might go on fire.

0:35:39 Siobhan: Yeah, it seems like that's wood. Seems pretty flammable.

0:35:41 Lou: Igniting flammable objects.

0:35:43 Brennan: Yeah, actually, I'm gonna make a final roll for the mustard wagon… 12’s not gonna do it. So, you see the mustard wagon is going to take 31 points of damage. (whooshing) Kingston, you stride out, get partial cover behind that hotdog… There's these sort of little barricades around the monastery, hotdog buns with toothpicks put through them. You, boom, call up lightning. The metallic surface of the hotdog cart ripples with static electricity. Lightning bolt appears in your hand. (whooshes) First five ants in the line die.

0:36:26 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:36:27 Brennan: Mustard wagon catches on fire. You have drastically impaired the mustard wagon's ability to move, which means all those ants fighting Cody will have to choose between finishing Cody off or jumping to their commander's order to move the wagon, basically.

0:36:46 Lou: Great. So, I did help Cody. Yes, there it is.

0:36:49 Emily: Yeah.

0:36:50 Murph: This ultimately helps me more. (laughing)

0:36:55 Lou: Kingston looks back at that one cockroach and is like,

0:36:56 Kingston: This is good, right, that they can't shoot mustard at us?

0:37:03 Brennan: He's like,

0:37:03 Cockroach: Yeah, this is extremely good! The mustard fucks us up, it's not good for ya.

0:37:08 Kingston: Great, great.

0:37:09 Sofia: Yeah, the mustard felled one of them out here. There's a cockroach making death saves out here 'cause of the mustard.

0:37:15 Kingston: I'm on him next. (cast laughing)

0:37:18 Brennan: Amazing. Okay, next in the initiative is going to be Ricky Matsui.

0:37:26 Zac: Ricky is going to use Ox's movement to here. So, come over here. He's gonna use Hypnotic Pattern, and it's a 30-foot cube.

0:37:44 Brennan: Woah.

0:37:44 Zac: I think the range is 120 feet, to uh… Yeah, that centurion that you just… To like, here.

0:37:53 Ally: Whoo.

0:37:56 Brennan: Damn.

0:37:56 Siobhan: Hell yeah.

0:37:58 Zac: Get as many as I can in there.

0:38:03 Brennan: Dude, I think… Hold on.

0:38:05 Zac: I may not get that one, the last one on the right, but I think I get pretty much all the rest of them.

0:38:09 Brennan: Yeah. Everyone else you can absolutely get, dude.

0:38:14 Zac: And that's a Wisdom saving throw, DC16.

0:38:21 Brennan: Hell yeah. These two centurions are gonna use their reaction, as they see you coming to do magic, yell to two of the legionnaires and go,

0:38:27 Ant Centurion: Forward!

0:38:31 Brennan: Two of the little guys get to use their reaction because of that reaction to sprint their movement forward and dive over here by these barricades. The rest are gonna get hit by that pattern. The DC for you is 16, and this is a Wisdom saving throw?

0:38:50 Zac: Yes. And if they are hit, they'll be charmed by the spell and get incapacitated with a speed of zero for a minute.

0:38:57 Ally: Whoo!

0:38:57 Brennan: Jesus. Okay, this is the important one for the two centurions. They need 13s or higher. One, the centurion right here that's the closest. So, this guy right here is full incapacitated. This dude succeeds on his save over here. Now we're gonna roll 6d20 for the legionnaires. They need 13s or higher as well. Fail, fail. Four of six fail that roll. Incredible. So, these front two fail, and these two over on the left hand side of the ketchupult fail. So, they are all incapacitated as well. Ricky, what does your magic look like as you surge towards the edge of that giant hotdog?

0:40:04 Zac: I think it's like a floating just idea of a picnic. Just a floating picnic blanket with the red and white squares.

0:40:16 Brennan: They look around, they say,

0:40:17 Ants: Brothers, the promised land, Elysium awaits! The Picnic of Paradise!

0:40:24 Brennan: And they look like they have already died. Incredible.

0:40:30 Zac: Oh, and then, yeah, I think maybe… That was like, 30 feet of Ox's movement and he has another… I guess I'll take a double move so he has another 90 feet to go here… Oh, woah. To here.

0:40:53 Brennan: Cool.

0:40:54 Zac: So.

0:40:54 Brennan: Hell yeah. Great.

0:40:57 Zac: Move here with Ox.

0:41:00 Brennan: Awesome. You duck in over there. It is going to be Iga's turn.

0:41:08 Siobhan: This is the first time I'm using magic since my interaction with the dragon, so I'd like to say,

0:41:14 Iga: Hello, hi, if you can hear me, I would love to be able to fly over to where Kingston is, and then maybe Shatter this area over here. Can you hear? Hello? Can you hear me? Is that okay? I just wanna have permission? [Smoczamatka growling]

0:41:38 Brennan: You fling into the air, feeling more buoyant—

0:41:41 Iga: Okay! (laughing)

0:41:45 Siobhan: So then I'd like to cast Shatter. Can you do this?

0:41:49 Brennan: Yeah. Back, by the… Yeah, cool, cool, cool.

0:41:53 Siobhan: So, I think I can hit this centurion and all four of these ants back here and the ketchup and the mustard.

0:42:03 Brennan: Yeah, I think you—

0:42:04 Siobhan: And Shatter damages all non-magical objects that aren't worn or carried.

0:42:11 Brennan: Hell yes. So, we're gonna roll saves for those five, first of all.

0:42:15 Siobhan: Yeah. So, it's a Constitution saving throw.

0:42:19 Brennan: Hell yes. Con save. Need a 14 or higher from the centurion. Centurion hits a nat 20. Four next to the centurion. Save, save, fail, fail. So, the two in the back fail. Now we're gonna roll for the ketchupult and the mustard wagon as well. Fail from the mustard wagon.

0:42:50 Siobhan: Great.

0:42:51 Brennan: Success from the ketchupult.

0:42:55 Siobhan: Dexterous catapult.

0:42:56 Brennan: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, this is Con, right?

0:42:59 Siobhan: Oh yes, it's Constitution.

0:43:01 Brennan: Cool, cool, cool.

0:43:02 Siobhan: So, that's 24 damage or 12 halved. Oh.

0:43:07 Brennan: Okay. Does it do double damage to objects, or no?

0:43:12 Siobhan: A non-magical object that isn't being worn or carried also takes the damage. Oh, so they don't actually roll Con saves, I think. I think they just take the damage.

0:43:21 Brennan: Damn, okay. That ketchupult is looking messed up. As for the mustard wagon, Iga, you fly up, boom! You guys hear a thunderous roar. The bridge collapses. Those two ants in the back fall immediately to their death, and you can hear the steam rising as they hit the water underneath. The mustard wagon ruptures and mustard blasts out of the back into the thing and is fully broken. The mustard wagon is destroyed.

0:43:55 Ally: Woah.

0:43:55 Siobhan: Great.

0:43:57 Brennan: Hell yes. Gone, gone, and ketchup wagon took 24 points of shatter damage. Incredible magic casting from Iga. Boom! The biggest siege weapon they had is no more. After Iga, that is Pete's turn.

0:44:22 Ally: Okay, I'm going to take a full dash and get over here next to Ricky, maybe tucked up here kind of.

0:44:32 Brennan: Cool.

0:44:32 Ally: Hidden. And then I'm gonna say to Cody,

0:44:37 Pete: Hey, man. Like, yeah, that was kind of embarrassing, but who fucking cares, man? You're still super metal!

0:44:45 Ally: And as I say "Metal," I would like to cast a fifth level Fireball. Or, you know what? I'm gonna say all of that from not a double movement so that I can cast… No, fuck it, yeah, I'm gonna do that. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

0:45:03 Brennan: Cool.

0:45:04 Ally: And I'm going to use Careful Spell, so when I tell Cody he's metal, all of a sudden flames erupt all around him and he's untouched. Him and his moped.

0:45:18 Murph: Hell yeah.

0:45:19 Ally: And that should get everyone. It's 20-foot.

0:45:21 Brennan: 20-foot radius, right?

0:45:21 Ally: Yeah.

0:45:24 Brennan: So, let's see. So, that's like, 40 feet. Let me just see something. I'm gonna set an aura real quick. Cool. If you wanna center it on that centurion right there, you'll hit everybody but the front two ants on the left.

0:45:40 Siobhan: Oh, there we go.

0:45:40 Ally: Amazing.

0:45:40 Murph: Woah.

0:45:40 Siobhan: There it is.

0:45:42 Lou: Holy shit.

0:45:42 Siobhan: Hell yeah.

0:45:43 Emily: Yeah.

0:45:44 Ally: All right, I'm gonna roll. It's just slash roll?

0:45:45 Brennan: Slash roll, and you're doing fifth level?

0:45:50 Ally: Yes, I'm doing fifth level, so that should be 10d6.

0:45:53 Brennan: 10d6 is right. Ally rolls three 6s.

0:45:55 Lou: Woah.

0:45:55 Siobhan: Wow.

0:45:58 Lou: W-O-A-H.

0:46:01 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:46:01 Emily: Yeah.

0:46:03 Zac: That spells woah. [Ally and Lou laugh]

0:46:07 Brennan: Okay. Well, let's see here. 34 damage is going to be... I'm gonna say that these two centurions are actually going to use their reactions to move two of their ants out of the blast. Boom, boom. So, that's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. We're gonna roll 10d20. These guys need 14s or higher to just save for half. One, two, three, four.

0:46:43 Siobhan: Two nat 1s.

0:46:46 Zac: Woah.

0:46:46 Murph: Wow.

0:46:47 Ally: Wow.

0:46:47 Brennan: That's only—

0:46:49 Siobhan: Brutal.

0:46:49 Brennan: Two of those are saves. [Ally laughs]

0:46:53 Brennan: Oh my god, okay.

0:46:56 Ally: You know what? Can I Bend Luck and try to get that 16 down with a four? [Emily laughs]

0:47:01 Brennan: Yeah, if you wanna do it, go for it. Ally rolls a 1.

0:47:05 B: One!

0:47:05 Ally: Ah, damn. All right.

0:47:07 Brennan: Oh, no.

0:47:08 Lou: Almost.

0:47:08 Brennan: Cool. That 34 is still 17. We're gonna roll saves for the two legionnaires as well. Both of them fail. That's 34 damage to both of them. Both of the centurions are still up, however, Pete, you see. [imitates explosion]

0:47:35 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:47:38 Brennan: Eruption of fire, all of them are gone. We're gonna roll a save for the ketchupult as well. The ketchupult and mustard wagon are fully… Well, the mustard wagon was already done. The ketchupult also erupts in flame and is destroyed, so both that northern ketchupult and the mustard wagon are no longer functional.

0:48:03 Emily: And the southern ketchupult is being manned by those who fell for Hypnotic Spectre. I mean, Hypnotic—

0:48:09 Brennan: It looks like it still has a partial skeleton crew that might be rolling with disadvantage, but it looks like they still have some non-hypnotized ants down there. So, it's still potentially functional. Holy shit, you guys are very powerful. [Ally laughs]

0:48:28 Cody: Thanks, Pete, that was awesome.

0:48:31 Pete: For sure, man, you're great.

0:48:33 Cody: [despondent] I'm not, but thank you so much.

0:48:35 Ricky: [quietly] Pete, I'm not sure if we should tell him he's great.

0:48:38 Pete: He's so great, man. That's my roommate right there! Yeah! Your shoes look cool.

0:48:46 Cody: Thank you. [Ricky nods and claps]

0:48:47 Emily: (laughs) You just complimented your own shoes.

0:48:51 Siobhan: They're size six men's shoes.

0:48:54 Pete: Dude, those tiny-ass Foamposites look amazing on you.

0:48:59 Brennan: You guys see Marty rushes over to his fallen comrade, looks to you, Kingston, and says,

0:49:05 Marty: I got my guy, you're good. Take care of your boy!

0:49:10 Kingston: Yeah. All right. Okay. Cockroach magic, cool, cool, cool, cool. This city is the greatest. (laughing)

0:49:21 Brennan: Sofia, that's gonna be you.

0:49:23 Emily: Okay, so it seems like all this area of effect stuff is incredibly powerful. Do I have an insight if I cast Darkness on this catapult? If they're already rolling with disadvantage, it's not like it's going to… It's not gonna be double disadvantaged, or something like that.

0:49:40 Brennan: You could potentially cast Darkness on them and prevent them from even picking the right square. That's still a possibility.

0:49:46 Emily: Ooh.

0:49:50 Murph: There are also those—

0:49:52 Emily: I know, that's what I'm trying to decide.

0:49:52 Murph: Ants who disappeared.

0:49:55 Emily: You all are so good at the area of effect stuff, I think I'm just going to use some of my movement right now to jump up onto the top of this Heineken bottle and see what's going on, and survey where the ants disappeared from.

0:50:13 Brennan: The first thing you see, Sofia, when you jump on top of the Heineken bottle, is that right there. You see a—

0:50:19 Emily: The ladder?

0:50:21 Brennan: The ladder. A siege ladder made of straws—

0:50:22 Murph: [softly] Cool.

0:50:24 Brennan: Appears up at the top. You definitely have the jump speed to get… Definitely have the jump distance to get up to the top of the shelf if you want to.

0:50:37 Emily: Yeah. Do I get the sense that they're invisible and climbing up it right now? Do I sense it here?

0:50:44 Brennan: You don't think they're invisible, you think they already made it to the top.

0:50:48 Emily: Oh. Okay. Then I'm gonna jump to the top, kick the siege ladder down and try to find them.

0:50:53 Lou: Hell yes.

0:50:55 Emily: 'Cause I do still have movement left and I can Step of the Wind if I need.

0:51:00 Lou: Damn. Tiny Sofia is—

0:51:01 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:51:02 Zac: You can also just run up walls, right?

0:51:04 Emily: Yeah, that's true, I just run up the wall. (laughs)

0:51:08 Brennan: As you leap to the top, Sofia, you find what you're looking for. Blam.

0:51:13 Siobhan: Oof.

0:51:13 Emily: Yeah, baby. All right. So, I'm gonna kick this. I am gonna kick this. My object interaction's gonna be kicking the siege ladder down so no one else can come.

0:51:22 Brennan: Cool.

0:51:23 Emily: Do you think that I had to use a Step of the Wind to get up here?

0:51:30 Brennan: So yeah, Sofia, you kick the ladder with your free interaction.

0:51:33 Emily: Yeah. And then I think I'll Step of the Wind to get to this guy, and they can all get opportunity attacks if they want.

0:51:41 Brennan: They do wanna do that. [Lou laughs]

0:51:46 Brennan: [counting dice] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Six. Two. [rolls dice] Miss, miss, hit, hit, hit, hit.

0:52:04 Emily: Shield. [smiles] Does Shield change those hits?

0:52:08 Brennan: The lowest of them were—

0:52:10 Emily: You know what? I think I wanna take it. I wanna take it.

0:52:13 Murph: Oh my god.

0:52:13 Brennan: Oh no. Okay.

0:52:16 Ally: But it's poison, right?

0:52:20 Emily: Is it poison?

0:52:20 Zac: Oh, I don't know.

0:52:23 Murph: They tried to poison me.

0:52:25 Lou: I think it's only mandible attacks.

0:52:29 Brennan: Sofia, you take 22 points of damage. I'm gonna need four constitution saving throws.

0:52:38 Emily: Oh, this is gonna poison me? In that case, can I say I do Shield, or do you want to be a stickler?

0:52:46 Brennan: I'm gonna say that Sofia followed, because you didn't know there was gonna be poison until you get poisoned, I'm gonna say that no Shield this time.

0:52:56 Emily: Okay.

0:52:57 Zac: Oh, so you wanna be a stickler, is what I'm hearing? [Brennan laughs]

0:53:00 Ally: Sounds like—

0:53:00 Emily: Okay. Four constitution saves? I mean, I'm fully going to be poisoned. Poison means I get disadvantage on my attacks?

0:53:09 Brennan: Yes.

0:53:09 Emily: Fuck me. Okay.

0:53:13 Brennan: The DC is very low.

0:53:14 Emily: 14 is the first one.

0:53:14 Brennan: 14 passes.

0:53:20 Emily: 11 is the next one.

0:53:20 Brennan: Exactly passes. You can't get one less than that.

0:53:27 Lou: [claps] Come on, now.

0:53:28 Emily: I got another 11.

0:53:28 Siobhan: Ugh. Siobhan clasps her hands in prayer while Murph covers his head with both hands.

0:53:34 Emily: I failed. Seven.

0:53:35 Brennan: Oh.

0:53:36 Siobhan: Damn.

0:53:36 Murph: Fuck.

0:53:37 Ally: Bend Luck?

0:53:39 Brennan: A seven—

0:53:39 Ally: If I get a four?

0:53:41 Siobhan: If you get a four.

0:53:41 Murph: You need to get a four.

0:53:42 Brennan: You know you have to get exactly a four, right?

0:53:44 Ally: I'll roll it on the board.

0:53:44 Zac: I'm worried about how bad this poison is.

0:53:45 Brennan: Roll it on the board. Naturally, Ally rolls a 4. [cast cheers]

0:53:50 Brennan: You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

0:53:51 Siobhan: Ah, yes.

0:53:51 Murph: Ally, you are unbelievable.

0:53:55 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:53:56 Murph: You are unbelievable.

0:53:57 Ally: I can just feel you up there and I'm like,

0:53:58 Pete: Sofia B., take care of yourself! [Emily and Siobhan laugh]

0:54:04 Sofia: Pete, you are just fucking getting me these days.

0:54:09 Pete: I love you guys. I love all you guys. Did you know that?

0:54:13 Brennan: [laughs] Unbelievable—

0:54:16 Zac: Ricky looks at Pete and is like,

0:54:17 Ricky: Sheesh, is that what I was? [Emily and Brennan laugh]

0:54:23 Brennan: Truly un-fucking-believable. Sofia—

0:54:25 Emily: And then—

0:54:26 Brennan: You are not poisoned.

0:54:26 Emily: Now I have my action.

0:54:28 Brennan: Go ahead and take your swings.

0:54:32 Emily: First one's going to be a 15.

0:54:34 Brennan: You do not hit on a 15.

0:54:34 Emily: Okay. Next one's gonna be 18.

0:54:39 Brennan: That does hit.

0:54:39 Emily: Okay. That's eight damage and I'm gonna Stunning Strike.

0:54:47 Brennan: Eight damage, Stunning Strike. He succeeds, with a 15.

0:54:53 Emily: Okay. All right, well, I'm in the fray now.

0:54:58 Sofia: I found them! [Murph laughs]

0:55:04 Murph: Seeing this insane monk jump up there and just a distant, "I found them," and the sounds of fighting.

0:55:07 Zac: [imitating Brennan’s sword clashing sound effects] Ting ting ting ting.

0:55:11 Brennan: "Found 'em." Incredible.

0:55:18 Emily: I look at them all, though, and I say,

0:55:19 Sofia: Shield is coming for you, [Brennan laughs]

0:55:24 Sofia: Next time you're back.

0:55:24 Brennan: Amazing. That is Sofia's turn. We're gonna get a death save for our fallen buddy.

0:55:33 Siobhan: Oof, pour one out.

0:55:33 Brennan: Three, that's a fail. However, the other monks are going to leap into action. One. Two, three. Let's go. That is a hit for six damage to this little legionnaire, and this dude's gonna run over here, start getting the last soldiers over on the mustard wagon. Doesn't hit, needed a 10. That is gonna be the monks of the Sacred Rat. (yells) (imitates punching) Now it's gonna be the centurions. This centurion's going to come for you, Sofia.

0:56:24 Emily: Okay.

0:56:28 Brennan: Misses twice. Gonna use his reaction to grant one of his allies an attack, which is a natural one. Good job, buddy. (laughing)

0:56:37 Brennan: Way to go. This centurion fighting Cody's gonna take two swings. He's going to hit. I'm gonna need a constitution.

0:56:52 Murph: 16.

0:56:52 Brennan: That passes. You do take nine points of piercing damage.

0:56:57 Murph: Okay, still up.

0:57:00 Brennan: This dude is going to close as well. He's gonna take two swings. Misses horribly both times. Guys, we can't be rolling like this. (Emily laughs)

0:57:12 Brennan: This dude is gonna stay with his ketchupult that's still operational to continue firing. And that is—

0:57:21 Zac: The other guy's hypnotized, right?

0:57:23 Brennan: Other dude is hypnotized. You see this dude right here. Another squadron appears over the edge of the board.

0:57:36 Siobhan: What?

0:57:36 Brennan: And (whooshes). They are going to hustle. (hums) These guys are gonna move quickly and make it all the way here. Actually. Awesome. That is now going to be the ketchupult. The operating ketchupult that I believe still… Was partially injured, so is firing with disadvantage, which basically means I'm gonna have asked for dexterity saving throws from Kingston and Iga with advantage.

0:58:30 Lou: I'm still old, so.

0:58:30 Siobhan: [Iga voice] Pretty old.

0:58:35 Lou: First one was very bad.

0:58:36 Siobhan: [Iga voice] Okay, I did good, I got a dirty 20.

0:58:39 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:58:40 Lou: Oh, a two and a three over here.

0:58:42 Brennan: Aww.

0:58:42 Siobhan: Oof.

0:58:43 Lou: Well, I guess that's actually a three and a four.

0:58:46 Brennan: Kingston, you take 12 acid damage, Iga, you take six. Marty takes the full 12 as he goes prostrate over his friend's body to protect him from getting a failed death save.

0:59:00 Lou: Aww.

0:59:00 Emily: Aww.

0:59:02 Lou: What an absolute king.

0:59:03 Emily: I've gotta remember that move, that's good. [Brennan laughs]

0:59:06 Emily: Teaching good things here.

0:59:11 Brennan: That's the ketchupult. Cody, that's you, baby.

0:59:14 Murph: Oh, boy. I mean, I've gotta try to use this sword one more time. Ally is covering their face. [Emily and Siobhan laugh]

0:59:20 Murph: I just have to.

0:59:21 Brennan: Okay, let's see the athletics check. You need an 11 or higher, in front of the board.

0:59:27 Emily: I fucking love this.

0:59:28 Zac: Ricky's just. Ricky’s eyes are wide. [Zac laughs]

0:59:31 Cody: Please! [yells]

0:59:34 Murph: Just absolutely heaving, lifting with my back. Okay. I lift it successfully, that is— [Siobhan yells] Lou raises his fist victoriously.

0:59:45 Brennan: Okay.

0:59:48 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:59:48 Brennan: Now you're rolling an attack with disadvantage. [Siobhan laughs]

0:59:52 Murph: Okay. I'm just gonna roll two D20s. Know that I have a plus six to this. Murph rolls a 10 and a 1.

1:00:02 Murph: Natural one. Emily cracks up while Ally, Siobhan and Zac cover their mouths and fall out of frame shaking from laughter.

1:00:08 Murph: Don't laugh so hard!

1:00:13 Siobhan: A perfect second beat.

1:00:13 Emily: This is the funniest shit.

1:00:15 Ally: Oh my god.

1:00:16 Emily: This is the real Hypnotic Pattern.

1:00:19 Brennan: Murph—

1:00:20 Emily: I'm gonna say, I've been shocked by this show.

1:00:21 Brennan: Murph, I am gonna need just a DC 15 dexterity saving throw here.

1:00:27 Murph: No!

1:00:28 Lou: Stop trying to make it sound like that's easy. Murph rolls a 12 and a 5.

1:00:36 Emily: Oh, you got it!

1:00:36 Murph: No, that's not.

1:00:37 Brennan: No, five is disadvantage. Is that 15?

1:00:39 Siobhan: It’s at disadvantage.

1:00:40 Brennan: Do you have a plus 10 to dexterity?

1:00:43 Murph: No, I have a plus six to dexterity.

1:00:47 Brennan: Okay.

1:00:49 Lou: You're gonna roll another 10d6?

1:00:51 Brennan: No.

1:00:52 Lou: Come on. You monster.

1:00:53 Brennan: I'm not gonna roll another 10d6. Murph, it is your choice. You may either deal your weapon's damage to yourself. Murph’s eyes go wide and his mouth falls open.

1:01:06 Brennan: Or go prone to avoid doing so.

1:01:10 Murph: I have to go prone, I just absolutely have to. [Emily cracks up]

1:01:17 Brennan: You guys— You guys see Cody manage to get this thing up. You see a full back spasm, and Cody goes down hard.

1:01:29 Cody: [yells in pain] Oh! No! [Emily and Zac laugh]

1:01:41 Ally: Does he… does he fart?

1:01:43 Brennan: Yeah, he farts hard. He farts super—

1:01:45 Ally: That's just a nat one?

1:01:47 Cody: [farting] No!

1:01:48 Brennan: Cody, you do have another attack with your attack action.

1:01:50 Murph: Okay.

1:01:52 Lou: Oh, yeah.

1:01:56 Murph: [laughs] I already have disadvantage, so I just attempt to swing it again at him.

1:02:02 Brennan: Yep, you attack him from prone.

1:02:04 Lou: Let's go.

1:02:04 Murph: Cool.

1:02:05 Lou: Let's go, this is it.

1:02:07 Brennan: This is it.

1:02:09 Zac: This is—

1:02:09 Murph: Fuck. 10.

1:02:12 Brennan: 10. You manage, from the ground, to kind of scrap it slowly over your head. [Cody groans pathetically] [sword scraping]

1:02:26 Brennan: This is the funniest thing that's ever happened.

1:02:30 Emily: It's really killing me.

1:02:30 Murph: This is so shitty.

1:02:31 Ally: Oh my god.

1:02:32 Murph: I guess while I'm on the ground I just cast Shield of Faith on myself. (laughing)

1:02:40 Brennan: You cast—

1:02:40 Cody: Eye of the fucking Lord of Darkness, the Flame, protect me. Bazathrax, make fucking fire come around me, or something.

1:02:50 Brennan: Bazathrax goes,

1:02:50 Bazathrax: What's going on out there, dude? You crushing? Are you crushing right now?

1:02:54 Cody: Are you not paying attention? Can you not see anything? Can you sense anything?

1:02:56 Bazathrax: Dude, I'm in your skin. I'm in your tattoo, dude. Unless you tell me what's going on, I got no freakin' idea what's going on out there.

1:03:03 Cody: You don't sense things?

1:03:06 Bazathrax: Dude, I'm fuckin' trapped in here, bro!

1:03:09 Cody: All right, all right.

1:03:11 Murph: We're gonna cast Shield of Faith.

1:03:14 Brennan: [laughs] Cody, you cast Shield of Faith. You have to stay prone in order to have not taken that damage on that nat one.

1:03:20 Murph: Awesome. So, I'm just under my moped again. I flipped the moped when I did it.

1:03:25 Emily: What sort of faith is shielding you right now, Cody? [laughs] I'm just kinda curious.

1:03:32 Murph: I think I'm just—

1:03:32 Zac: Does it look like that sheet you had earlier? [Emily and Murph laugh]

1:03:34 Murph: Yeah, I'm once again in a cocoon—

1:03:37 Lou: Lil cocoon.

1:03:38 Murph: Of the sheet that divides. I'm just on the ground, cocooned in a sheet, under a moped. As I swung, I knocked the moped over again and did a front flip over it and farted and got trapped. [Ally and Emily laugh]

1:03:53 Siobhan: It's like a "Dragon Ball Z" sheet. It's very worn.

1:03:58 Zac: Threadbare.

1:03:58 Ally: Oh my god. [Siobhan and Murph laugh]

1:04:05 Murph: Just looking up at the sky.

1:04:09 Brennan: Sofia, attacks are raining down on you.

1:04:13 Emily: All right. Shield! Now I use it.

1:04:19 Brennan: None of them hit.

1:04:19 Emily: Yeah. [whirls her fists] [whooshing]

1:04:25 Brennan: Here comes some more. Not… Oh, one, a single solitary hit. I am gonna need a constitution saving throw.

1:04:39 Emily: Okay. Yeah, baby, 17.

1:04:41 Lou: Brrrah!

1:04:44 Brennan: You take four points of piercing damage.

1:04:47 Emily: Okay.

1:04:48 Brennan: Bada boom, bada bam. Hell yeah.

1:04:52 Ally: God.

1:04:57 Brennan: You all see… These guys are now gonna come, one, two, three, four, around this cockroach monk. They're gonna take some swings on him. AC is only 14, not looking good. Two nat 20s.

1:05:25 Murph: Oh no.

1:05:27 Lou: What?

1:05:29 Brennan: And then—

1:05:29 Ally: Fuck.

1:05:37 Brennan: Two nat 20s, one bite, one, two, three, four. This guy goes down.

1:05:52 Zac: How much damage was it?

1:05:57 Brennan: The large attack did 14 damage.

1:06:01 Zac: Okay.

1:06:02 Brennan: As he drops, one of them hits with a bite attack and gives him two failed death saves. As they surround... These two dudes are going to... rush over here. Let me get a… Iga, go ahead and give me a perception check, DC 15.

1:06:41 Siobhan: [makes a thumbs up] 16.

1:06:43 Brennan: Incredible. You see, if you direct your eyes to the courtyard, blam, a ladder is lowered from the roof into the courtyard.

1:06:56 Emily: What? There's more fuckers up there?

1:06:58 Zac: Above us?

1:06:58 Lou: Oh, behind.

1:07:00 Brennan: Above you guys, it looks like more. Yep.

1:07:04 Ally: Oh, no.

1:07:05 Brennan: Sofia.

1:07:05 Emily: Oh wait, the ladder is lowered in, but no one's come down on it yet?

1:07:10 Brennan: No one's come down on it yet.

1:07:11 Emily: I see.

1:07:13 Siobhan: I tell everybody.

1:07:14 Brennan: So, you shout out that something has been lowered into the courtyard, but you see the defenders have already sort of, appeared outside here. Sofie, your line of sight to that is being blocked by that coffee cup.

1:07:24 Emily: Okay.

1:07:26 Brennan: That's why you're not seeing who's over there on the roof 'cause there's a big coffee cup in the way blocking your line of sight to the rest of the roof.

1:07:32 Emily: Okay.

1:07:32 Brennan: Or the top of the cart, I should say. Kingston, that's your turn.

1:07:36 Lou: Great. If I move to here, can I make a perception check to see what's on top of the roof?

1:07:49 Brennan: Yeah, give me a perception check.

1:07:50 Lou: Okay. 16?

1:07:57 Brennan: You look to the top of the roof and see the following things up there. Blam. Two centurions and a large squadron of ants up on the roof.

1:08:15 Lou: Great.

1:08:16 Emily: And they're looking to get into that courtyard, it seems?

1:08:18 Brennan: Yeah, they're looking to go into the monastery and slaughter.

1:08:21 Emily: Okay.

1:08:21 Lou: Great. I look to Marty and anyone who's around and say,

1:08:27 Kingston: Protect the monastery, I'll take care of your friends.

1:08:31 Lou: And I'm gonna cast Mass Cure Wounds.

1:08:35 Zac: Yes.

1:08:35 Emily: Ooh.

1:08:36 Lou: And that should hit… I'll be able to hit Cody 30 feet, both of the cockroaches, Sofia, you probably won't let me hit. And then I'll also hit… I hit Iga. How many do I hit?

1:08:54 Zac: Marty's hurt, I think.

1:08:55 Lou: Marty, I'll get Marty. I get, We're hitting six people.

1:08:58 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:08:59 Lou: So, you tell me if I can hit Sofia, that's my first question.

1:09:05 Brennan: What's the range on that?

1:09:06 Lou: It's 30.

1:09:10 Brennan: No. With altitude, no.

1:09:11 Lou: Great.

1:09:13 Brennan: That's the only reason.

1:09:14 Emily: It's for the best. Prioritize others.

1:09:17 Lou: Hey, I know you want that radiant damage. [Emily laughs]

1:09:19 Lou: So, we'll go cockroach, cockroach, Marty if he's hurt, Iga. Are either of the other two cockroaches hurt? And Ricky or Pete, are you hurt? Or Cody. And then either of the other cockroaches or Ricky hurt?

1:09:36 Zac: I've not been hurt yet.

1:09:37 Lou: Great.

1:09:37 Brennan: One of the other cockroaches is hurt.

1:09:40 Lou: Great.

1:09:42 Brennan: Obviously the two that are making death saves are very hurt. One of the other two is injured. Marty is injured as well. So, there's four cockroaches you could hit with a Mass Cure Wounds.

1:09:52 Lou: I'm gonna hit all four of them, Iga, and Cody. That's my six. Siobhan makes a thumbs up.

1:09:58 Brennan: Hell yeah. Let's see that roll.

1:10:00 Lou: Okay, you wanna see it? Let's do it. We'll do it for the fans at home.

1:10:07 Siobhan: Do it for the 'gram.

1:10:08 Lou: Okay, how about that?

1:10:10 Murph: Okay.

1:10:10 Lou: We'll take that.

1:10:12 Siobhan: That helps.

1:10:12 Lou: So, it's gonna be 16 plus 5 so 21 to all of them.

1:10:19 Murph: Nice, thank you.

1:10:21 Kingston: Fall back to the monastery! I guess. [Emily laughs]

1:10:26 Brennan: Incredible.

1:10:28 Emily: Does it seem like that was their turns? The centurion, they went on the same turn? Them showing up was their turn.

1:10:37 Brennan: Yes, it did look like that might've been their turn, yeah.

1:10:39 Emily: Okay.

1:10:41 Brennan: Kingston, these cockroaches are all back to basically full health. The monks leap up as Kingston (whooshes). They glow with light, and they go,

1:10:53 Monks: Thank you, thank you. Hey, it's nice to know the voice of New York even talks for the cockroaches. Thanks, Kingston Brown!

1:11:02 Kingston: Hey, if Kugrash isn't around to do it, it is my job.

1:11:08 Brennan: Incredible. Awesome. Any bonus actions or anything else?

1:11:14 Lou: That's where I needed to stand. I think I'm gonna move back. Can I climb onto the mustard wagon?

1:11:26 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:11:27 Lou: Great, I'm just working about ketchup. Yeah.

1:11:31 Brennan: I hear ya.

1:11:32 Lou: I'll move a little bit under the mustard wagon, duck underneath the bottle top.

1:11:37 Brennan: Cool.

1:11:37 Lou: And that'll be my turn.

1:11:40 Brennan: Hell yeah. Ricky, that's you.

1:11:45 Zac: Okay. I guess Ox is gonna attack the one right in front of me with Pack Tactics.

1:11:52 Brennan: Go for it. Hell yeah.

1:11:54 Zac: Does a 15 hit?

1:11:54 Brennan: 15 exactly hits.

1:11:57 Zac: Okay. So, that's two D6 plus four.

1:11:58 Brennan: Cool.

1:12:00 Zac: So, I did 10 damage to the ant.

1:12:03 Brennan: Awesome.

1:12:05 Zac: And he's still kicking?

1:12:05 Brennan: Yes, he is still kicking.

1:12:09 Zac: Okay. Ricky's gonna attack the other one first.

1:12:17 Brennan: Cool.

1:12:19 Zac: First attack. Does a 20 hit?

1:12:21 Brennan: Absolutely.

1:12:24 Zac: Of course. And I'm going to do first level Divine Smite on that guy.

1:12:32 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:12:32 Zac: That hit. So, that would be… My bad. That's a D8 on top of another D8 for Improved Divine Smite.

1:12:43 Brennan: Yeah.

1:12:46 Zac: Plus—

1:12:46 Brennan: A first level Divine Smite, so this'll be 4d8.

1:12:47 Zac: 4d8, okay.

1:12:50 Brennan: Plus six.

1:12:53 Zac: Okay. [counting] Seven. Four. That's 18 damage to that guy.

1:13:04 Brennan: 18, he is not down.

1:13:07 Zac: Oh, that sucks. Okay. I'm just gonna hit him again.

1:13:08 Brennan: Cool.

1:13:11 Zac: Does a 17 hit?

1:13:11 Brennan: Yes, it does.

1:13:13 Zac: I think it does. Okay. I'll just do it again.

1:13:18 Brennan: Cool.

1:13:20 Zac: Okay, so, seven. That's 12. 19… 25 damage that time.

1:13:31 Brennan: Obliterated, gone.

1:13:34 Zac: And can I do an object interaction?

1:13:36 Brennan: Sure.

1:13:38 Zac: Can I take out the Peasant Sword?

1:13:41 Brennan: Yeah.

1:13:42 Zac: And just slide it over to Cody. Like,

1:13:45 Ricky: Oops.

1:13:48 Brennan: You hear Emily laughing in the background. Emily isn’t at her laptop.

1:13:50 Ricky: Hey, Cody.

1:13:50 Emily: [comes back into frame] [laughing] Sorry, I was listening.

1:13:54 Ricky: Cody, I don't know, your weapon's pretty cool, I don't know if you feel like using this for a little bit.

1:14:02 Cody: [grateful to the point of tears] Fucking thank you. Fucking thank you. A fucking usable sword. Fuck.

1:14:07 Murph: Just scrambling out from under a moped and a giant sword, scrambling to get the Peasant Sword.

1:14:14 Siobhan: Hey, umm, Brennan, would you say that all of this stuff that's happened to Cody today has made him super humble? [Brennan and Murph burst out laughing]

1:14:22 Zac: He's been humbled.

1:14:23 Siobhan: I feel like he's been pretty humbled.

1:14:27 Ally: Yeah, he's pretty humble now.

1:14:28 Murph: Don't give Cody anything.

1:14:28 Ally: He's kinda always been. [takes a sip of water]

1:14:31 Lou: He lost every possession he owns.

1:14:34 Ally: Yeah, that's some Siddhartha shit.

1:14:36 Murph: He needs some time to sit in it, though.

1:14:37 Emily: He's literally prone right now.

1:14:38 Murph: He needs to sit in it. He needs to fucking sit in it.

1:14:42 Brennan: Incredible. Yeah, you know what? 'Cause Cody has been very humbled, but he hasn't been so humbled that the Peasant Sword wouldn't… He needs to be tested by the Peasant Sword not doing anything other than being a sword and see where that leaves him. That's the furthest step. Yeah, Ricky slides a sword that, hey, it works, across to you.

1:15:10 Murph: Just crying and saying "Thank you."

1:15:12 Cody: Fucking thank you. Fuck.

1:15:14 Zac: And as a bonus action, I'll cast Sanctuary on Cody.

1:15:22 Ally: Aww. (laughing)

1:15:24 Murph: Fuck.

1:15:24 Brennan: Amazing, amazing. Iga, that's gonna be you.

1:15:26 Zac: With that humble way.

1:15:30 Siobhan: Okay. I'm gonna fly up to this Heineken bottle, so I'm on the same level as these ants up here, and I am once again going to cast Shatter, which I think will get all of them and the ladder.

1:15:49 Brennan: Oh, shit. Okay. [Lou imitates blasting]

1:15:52 Brennan: Yep, that looks just about right to me. Okay. The DC on that is once again 17.

1:16:02 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:16:08 Brennan: These guys do get a plus two 'cause of their centurions being nearby. And it's a con save, DC 17.

1:16:17 Siobhan: It's a con save, yeah.

1:16:21 Brennan: 14s or higher. Okay. Two of the legionnaires make it. And one of the centurions make it. Yeah, go ahead and roll that damage.

1:16:41 Siobhan: Here we go, 27. And the ladder takes all of that damage, 27, and then.

1:16:47 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:16:47 Brennan: Holy shit.

1:16:48 Siobhan: The ones that make it take 13.

1:16:54 Brennan: Hold on one second.

1:16:56 Iga: Thank you, dragon. Thank you, I'm… Thank you. We've gotta sit down at some point and figure out a language of this. Whatever is good for you is good for me. I just wanna make sure you're happy.

1:17:17 Brennan: Iga, you throw that Shatter down. Boom! Immediately six of the ant legionnaires are rent asunder by the force of your magic, this thunderous smiting, and the ladder shudders, shakes, and splits apart. You have prevented them from being able to drop into the courtyard on their next turn.

1:17:40 Siobhan: Great.

1:17:40 Ally: Yeah.

1:17:42 Lou: Whoo, whoo, whoo.

1:17:42 Ally: Nice, nice, nice.

1:17:43 Brennan: Incredible. It is Pete next.

1:17:47 Ally: Hey. You know I'm gonna pop right here. Oh, right here. Oh, what was it? Right there. Okay, and I'm gonna cast Cone of Cold straight on down. So, that's 60 feet from me. So, I think I get—

1:18:11 Brennan: Oh my god.

1:18:11 Murph: Woah!

1:18:14 Ally: Everyone.

1:18:15 Brennan: Yeah, let's just see here real quick because… Well, here's what I'm gonna do real quick for you, my dear dude. If we check this out, we're gonna go… Yeah, if we put an aura on you of 60 feet this will give us an idea of, like… So, that's 60 feet from you in all directions. So, looking at you there, you would hit all of those ants down there and both of the centurions.

1:18:54 Ally: Yes. And then I'm gonna use Careful to not hit Cody.

1:19:00 Brennan: But I think it’s a 45 degree angle cone.

1:19:04 Zac: Oh my god.

1:19:06 Ally: Oh, sick.

1:19:07 Brennan: So, I think actually, you can hit the ones around the monk, miss Kingston. But I think the two… So, you've gotta choose, the two on the far right you wouldn't hit. So, you're doing a straight line down from you.

1:19:26 Ally: Mm-hmm.

1:19:28 Brennan: So, if you wanna hit the ones surrounding that cockroach monk—

1:19:32 Ally: Mm-hmm. And leave off the two over here? Yeah, I'll do that. I'll hit the four around the cockroach monk and leave those two out.

1:19:43 Brennan: Cool. Go ahead and roll your Cone of Cold. Jesus Christ.

1:19:50 Ally: Okay. [hums] Okay yeah, it's 8D8.

1:20:00 Brennan: One, two, three, four.

1:20:04 Lou: Whoo-hoo.

1:20:04 Ally: See some eights in there. See some eights in there.

1:20:07 Emily: Yeah!

1:20:10 Siobhan: Yes, oh baby, that is high.

1:20:10 Lou: A cool 43.

1:20:14 Brennan: One, two.

1:20:14 Zac: Ally roll.

1:20:18 Siobhan: Hell yeah. ♪ Roll, Ally roll. ♪ [Ally laughs]

1:20:21 Brennan: Okay.

1:20:24 Ally: Con save for half.

1:20:24 Brennan: Absolutely bonkers. So, the group of five at the far extreme end all make their saves. The farthest legionnaire by the cockroach makes his save as well, and that's everybody who makes their save. So, the two right in front of you do not make their save. The one right as you [whooshes] Cone of Cold of the Dreaming, immediately dead. This next one, immediately dead. Just too close—

1:20:59 Ally: Hell yeah.

1:21:00 Brennan: —to the source of the cold. This one looks very much on death's door.

1:21:08 Ally: Which one?

1:21:08 Brennan: No, wait a minute. Even with half, that one is fucking toast. [gasps]

1:21:13 Zac: Which one was it?

1:21:14 Emily: Wow.

1:21:14 Brennan: Wait, even with half, they're fucking toast. It's the cockroaches that have 22. The ants only have 20, which with a 43, oh god.

1:21:26 Ally: Fuck yes. [Emily laughs]

1:21:28 Brennan: Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Blam.

1:21:34 Ally: I'm like,

1:21:34 Pete: This is for Cody! [Brennan laughs]

1:21:39 Cody: Please don't do anything for me. Fuck.

1:21:41 Pete: Dude, come on, I've never seen anything like that, man. Let me gas you back up.

1:21:47 Cody: When I farted and fell off my fucking moped?

1:21:50 Pete: Yeah, dude, yeah.

1:21:54 Brennan: Unbelievable. [Murph laughs]

1:21:57 Cody: And then I scrambled crying to the sword that Ricky threw me?

1:22:01 Pete: Hey, no one saw that. No one saw that but me, don't worry. And Ricky.

1:22:05 Cody: So many ants—

1:22:06 Ricky: I saw it, Ox saw it.

1:22:06 Cody: Ricky saw it.

1:22:08 Ricky: I think these cockroaches saw it.

1:22:09 Cody: The cockroaches definitely saw.

1:22:13 Brennan: You see, yeah, these dudes fall back. Marty falls back in the monastery knowing that there were people up on the roof. He scoots back. And Sofia, that's your turn.

1:22:26 Emily: Okay. How many feet up are we?

1:22:34 Brennan: At your proportion, you are the equivalent of about a 40-foot drop.

1:22:40 Emily: Okay, only 40 feet, okay. So, pushing them over isn't gonna kill them. And then I'm looking over at… I can't see because of the coffee cup. Well, Iga has shouted out that shit was fucked up over there. Can I peek around the coffee cup, see… Do I sense that this gaggle that I've interrupted, were they going to where that ladder was gonna be, or is there another entrance in the coffee cup, or something?

1:23:09 Brennan: It looks like they were the rear guard of the ants that were going up and over to infiltrate the courtyard.

1:23:17 Emily: Okay. And the ants that are going to infiltrate the courtyard do not currently have a system—

1:23:23 Brennan: To do that, correct.

1:23:23 Emily: To do that. All right, then. I'm just gonna go ahead and attack the sentinel in front of me.

1:23:31 Brennan: Cool, go for it.

1:23:33 Emily: That's definitely gonna hit, hold on. 26 to hit.

1:23:37 Brennan: Hell yeah, that'll do it.

1:23:40 Emily: That's 12 damage. Stunning Strike.

1:23:46 Brennan: Stunning Strike, fails, he is stunned.

1:23:50 Emily: Okay, I'm gonna leave him stunned then, and I'm gonna start going for… And I'm gonna go for the… Sorry, I was over here.

1:23:57 Brennan: Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:23:59 Emily: And I'm gonna go for one of these guys that's on the ledge.

1:24:01 Brennan: Cool.

1:24:05 Emily: That's a 23 to hit.

1:24:05 Brennan: 23 hits.

1:24:12 Emily: So, I'm gonna do 12 damage to him.

1:24:17 Brennan: Ooh!

1:24:19 Emily: And then, can I Flurry of Blows? If I Flurry of Blows, can I use one of those attacks to push him over the edge?

1:24:26 Brennan: Yes, you absolutely can.

1:24:28 Emily: Okay. So, I'm gonna Flurry of Blows. I think that's maybe gonna miss. Does a 15 hit?

1:24:33 Brennan: 15 hits. But actually—

1:24:35 Emily: Okay.

1:24:36 Brennan: This is actually just your athletics. So, you're just gonna add your athletics to this.

1:24:40 Emily: It's actually the same, so it's 15.

1:24:43 Brennan: 15 either way. These dudes are not super strong. So, I'm gonna roll in front of the board. This dude needs to hit a 14 or higher to not get pushed.

1:24:59 Emily: Okay, then I'll go after him again.

1:25:02 Brennan: Okay, go ahead and roll that athletics.

1:25:04 Emily: That time it's gonna be 22.

1:25:07 Brennan: He needs a nat 20. Does not happen for him.

1:25:11 Ally: Yeah!

1:25:12 Emily: Okay, so then won't he take 4d6 damage?

1:25:19 Siobhan: Woah, that roll.

1:25:19 Murph: Nice. Perfect.

1:25:22 Brennan: You knock homebody right off the fucking ledge and he goes, [yells] as you, [shouts] kick him off the ledge, splats into the ground, and is gone.

1:25:31 Emily: Okay, cool. Not the most efficient, but I just thought it'd be fun.

1:25:36 Brennan: It is very fun. You're having a battle and you're fending off an entire squadron of ants on the top of the hotdog cart. That's Sofia. These monks prepare. These monks begin to fall back into their own monastery, following Kingston's advice. These two are gonna go after this last dude here. And this dude has… Oh, this guy's only four hit points away. Blam, that guy is gone. And these two cockroach monks say,

1:26:11 Cockroaches: We're falling back to the monastery!

1:26:14 Brennan: As they run back. Ant centurion goes. These guys are all still incapacitated. This lone centurion looks up, sees this fall here. I'm gonna go ahead… Kingston, you said you're standing on top of the mustard cart, right?

1:26:41 Lou: Yeah.

1:26:43 Brennan: I'm gonna roll a wisdom saving throw, and I want it to be opposed by an intimidate check from Kingston. Let me go ahead and roll their wisdom saving throw, which is only a plus three. Okay, 18. Go ahead and roll an intimidate check from Kingston for me.

1:27:06 Lou: Great. Well, you want it on the board, or can I do it at home?

1:27:11 Brennan: Whichever you think you would prefer from Kingston.

1:27:14 Lou: I'd like to do it at home.

1:27:14 Brennan: Do it at home.

1:27:17 Lou: So, I roll intimidate with advantage. It's a plus seven.

1:27:23 Brennan: So, one of these needs to be an 11 or higher.

1:27:25 Lou: First one is a 10. Second one. Is another 10.

1:27:30 Brennan: Ugh, brutal.

1:27:33 Lou: Two 10s.

1:27:33 Brennan: Two 10s. So, two 17s. These centurions go,

1:27:37 Centurions: Forward, forward, forward!

1:27:41 Brennan: These ones are going to rush through difficult terrain to go in close with Sofia. This one here is going to fall back to the ketchupult and give it advantage on its next attack. The centurion's gonna make attacks on Sofia. Hits.

1:28:04 Emily: Which centurion? He's stunned.

1:28:08 Brennan: The one that's stunned and can't attack you, nevermind. [Emily laughs]

1:28:15 Brennan: [laughs] Cool. Those are the centurions. Ketchupult is going to go. Pete and Cody, give me dex saving throws.

1:28:30 Zac: Is it with advantage, or no?

1:28:34 Murph: Oh, do I have—

1:28:35 Brennan: If you're not wielding the sword you no longer have the disadvantage.

1:28:39 Murph: I am prone, though, right?

1:28:42 Brennan: Yes.

1:28:43 Murph: Ricky did give me Sanctuary. Does that give me advantage, so it equals out and it's—

1:28:48 Zac: I wasn't sure if they got advantage because of the Hypnotic Pattern on the people in the thing.

1:28:54 Brennan: Sorry. You're actually just gonna roll a standard… He's canceling out the disruption of the machine. So, you just roll a straight dexterity saving throw.

1:29:05 Ally: I got a 19.

1:29:05 Murph: I got a 25.

1:29:09 Brennan: You each take seven points of acid damage as you are hit with another ketchup splatter. Cody, it is your turn.

1:29:19 Murph: Oh, boy. Okay.

1:29:24 Ally: Just try one more time. (Murph laughs)

1:29:27 Ally: I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

1:29:29 Murph: I look at the mess that I have made. [Emily laughs]

1:29:37 Murph: I need to just think for like… I need things to slow down so I can just sit in my room for like, a week. Cool, okay. So, we've got all these dudes down here. The ketchupult, the only working one is the one down here, right?

1:29:51 Brennan: Correct.

1:29:52 Murph: I'm trying to click it. Yeah, it's the one at the bottom of the screen. I don't think there's really any way I can get up to Sofie. I don't think we need to fall back to the monastery, right? It seems like nobody's getting in there.

1:30:05 Lou: They're all gonna come, yeah.

1:30:08 Murph: Okay. I guess the only way I can really be useful here is, I guess I will take the Peasant Sword, and I guess I'm… I don't want anyone to get the Questing Blade, so I bring it with me.

1:30:29 Siobhan: Nobody can pick up the Questing Blade.

1:30:30 Pete: I'll watch it, dude. I'll watch it, dude.

1:30:33 Cody: Are you sure? Pete, you have to promise me you won't lose it.

1:30:37 Pete: I'll watch it, I'm not gonna lose it.

1:30:41 Cody: Okay. I feel like I can't leave it, it's fucked up. I'm gonna carry it. I need to— This is my burden to bear.

1:30:48 Murph: I bring it with me, but I'm not gonna use it, and then I will go after this guy down here.

1:30:58 Brennan: Hell yeah. Go ahead and give me an attack roll.

1:31:01 Murph: And Cody just takes a regular-ass swing. But first, he'll do bonus action, Thunderous Smite.

1:31:14 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:31:20 Murph: That is a 19 to hit.

1:31:20 Brennan: 19 hits, baby.

1:31:23 Murph: Great. So, if I'm holding it with two hands, is it a d10?

1:31:26 Brennan: Yes, it is.

1:31:29 Murph: Great. Cody will do a… Why not? Let's try to get rid of a dude. I'll do a third level Divine Smite.

1:31:39 Brennan: Ooh!

1:31:39 Murph: Rolling on the damage.

1:31:43 Lou: [gently] Rolling on the damage.

1:31:46 Murph: 42 damage. [everyone oohs in unison]

1:31:49 Brennan: You moped up. Cody, you are bleeding, your jeans, your shitty jeans that a construction worker gave you on the street—

1:31:55 Murph: They're so big.

1:31:56 Brennan: Are ripped.

1:31:56 Murph: And not in a cool JNCOs way.

1:31:58 Murph: Not in a cool JNCOs way.

1:32:01 Siobhan: Ride up in the crotch.

1:32:01 Brennan: You ride up on the moped and this sword is just old and rusty. You ride up and it moves so fast in your hand. You swing and decapitate with a blast of lightning, (whooshes) and decapitate this centurion. Dead.

1:32:20 Murph: Sweet. Cody absolutely resists the urge to do a stupid flourish, and he just swings, and he catches himself and he shakes to stop himself, and then he will take a second swing on… There's another guy right there, right?

1:32:36 Brennan: Yes, there is.

1:32:37 Murph: Yeah, I'll swing on the other guy.

1:32:38 Brennan: Cool.

1:32:41 Murph: Ooh, that's a 19 to hit.

1:32:43 Brennan: 19 hits.

1:32:44 Murph: Cool. I will do a second level… Or, I'll do another third level.

1:32:54 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:32:54 Murph: I wanna mess these dudes up. Okay. So, this one will be a little bit less 'cause I don't have the thunderous. Okay.

1:33:03 Brennan: 23. Hell yeah. You slash this other, (yells) this ant commander. The last commander left over by this final ketchupult. After that, the legionnaires around are going to rush you, Cody. It's gonna be one, two—

1:33:22 Zac: He does have Sanctuary.

1:33:24 Brennan: Oh, shit.

1:33:25 Murph: Yeah, I have Sanctuary 'cause of Ricky.

1:33:26 Brennan: Does Sanctuary continue to work if the person with it is being violent?

1:33:30 Zac: Let me double check. I don't know.

1:33:33 Brennan: Three, yeah, definitely three of them surround you, even if they don't do anything else.

1:33:40 Zac: Oh yeah, if the warded creature makes an attack, casts a spell that affects an enemy, or deals damage to another creature, the spell ends. I see. Interesting.

1:33:50 Brennan: One, two, three. Cody, your AC's 12 right now, right?

1:34:02 Murph: Yes, there's the, uh...

1:34:06 Brennan: You take 12 slashing damage.

1:34:06 Murph: Okay.

1:34:12 Brennan: And then you take seven piercing damage. Give me a con save.

1:34:16 Murph: Okay. Come on. 17.

1:34:23 Brennan: Cool, you are safe.

1:34:23 Murph: Hell yeah.

1:34:25 Brennan: Sofia, what's your armor class right now?

1:34:28 Emily: 19.

1:34:28 Brennan: 19, cool. 14 attacks coming your way.

1:34:31 Zac: Oh my god.

1:34:34 Ally: Wow!

1:34:34 Siobhan: Jesus.

1:34:37 Brennan: That is a hit.

1:34:40 Emily: I guess I'm gonna Shield again. I'll do my second Shield.

1:34:42 Murph: You've got to.

1:34:44 Brennan: That brings your AC up to 24.

1:34:46 Emily: Uh-huh.

1:34:50 Brennan: Sofia is a tornado. Is literally in that, like, martial artist of, completely unarmed, surrounded on all sides by people trying as hard as they can to hit her and cannot land a single blow. What a dream. These two that are all but forgotten about, sneak over and begin to charge into the monastery. That's as far as they get. They're going through difficult terrain. Kingston, it is your turn.

1:35:31 Lou: Is there any chance I can use my action to make the same intimidation check as before?

1:35:38 Brennan: Yes. Go for it. But I'm gonna let them keep their good roll of an 18.

1:35:43 Lou: That's perfectly fine. Yeah, I'll climb on top of the mustard wagon.

1:35:49 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:35:51 Lou: Yeah, we'll climb up here. Okay, here we go. I'll roll 'em, let's try this thing. Lou rolls a 6 on Roll20.

1:36:00 Lou: Okay, not any better.

1:36:00 Brennan: Six.

1:36:03 Lou: Here we go.

1:36:03 Brennan: Last one. Lou rolls a nat 20.

1:36:06 Brennan: Nat!

1:36:06 Ally: Yes!

1:36:07 Lou: Yes, okay.

1:36:07 Brennan: 20.

1:36:10 Zac: Yes.

1:36:10 Ally: Yes.

1:36:12 Brennan: Un-freaking-believable. Kingston, you get to the top of this shattered mustard wagon. Iga has just been raining down Dragon's Thunder, destroying their siege weaponry. Pete has unleashed fire and ice. Oh by the way, Pete… No, you know what? We'll come to you in a second, Pete. Ally’s eyes widen.

1:36:33 Brennan: Sofia is on top of the cart, looking over the vast valley of the monastery. (imitates banging) Grabbing swords, their commander's still stunned, and Cody's just beheaded one of their commanders. You look to your side, the closest ally you have is still Ricky and Ox over here. A bunch of them are incapacitated still by Ricky's picnic vision to the south. What does Kingston say to the ants here on the hotdog cart?

1:37:01 Lou: I climb to the top of this thing and I'm just like,

1:37:05 Kingston: [thundering] Begone, ants! You face the disciples of Kugrash, also known as Rat Jesus. You stand on sacred ground, and will meet only death!

1:37:22 Brennan: A booming voice erupts, the monastery shimmers, and on the breeze you feel a little dance. [does the Kugrash dance]

1:37:33 Lou: Aww. [Emily laughs]

1:37:33 Murph: Oh my god. Murph and Zac join in on the dance.

1:37:34 Ally: Aww.

1:37:36 Iga: That's a good dance he's doing. How do you do this? How do you do this? [tries the dance]

1:37:40 Ricky: It's pretty straightforward.

1:37:42 Pete: Iga, you're doing great. Maybe a little bit more.

1:37:45 Iga: I'll teach my kids for TikTok. They love their fashionable dances.

1:37:49 Brennan: On a nat 20 intimidation… On a nat 20 intimidation, the ants begin to sound a retreat. The two ants in the monastery drop their weapons and surrender. The ones next to Sofia drop their weapons and surrender. And honestly… Yeah, these ants drop their weapons, surrender, and the battle is concluded.

1:38:20 Ally: Ooh.

1:38:23 Brennan: Incredible. Pete, for those last two spells you cast, though, go ahead and give me Wild Magic rolls. You're on one through six right now.

1:38:30 Ally: Interesting. It's a 14.

1:38:35 Brennan: One through seven.

1:38:37 Ally: It's a 17.

1:38:39 Siobhan: Wow. Lou gives a salute.

1:38:40 Brennan: Pete is on one through eight—

1:38:41 Emily: It would've been good to have it happen—

1:38:42 Brennan: Which is the highest I think Pete's ever gotten.

1:38:45 Ally: Yes.

1:38:47 Brennan: You see that the ants fall, surrender, you hear the blowing of horns off in the distance. A white flag is waved around. The ants in the distance retreat, these ones surrender. More cockroaches that are non-combatants come out of the monastery. Marty comes over to you and says,

1:39:08 Marty: Holy moly, you guys saved our monastery. Thank you so much!

1:39:15 Ricky: It's a beautiful place. We could never let anything happen to it.

1:39:18 Marty: It's all right, it's a shitty old hotdog cart, just like Rat Jesus would want.

1:39:23 Pete: [laughs] That's actually true.

1:39:24 Sofia: I think he'd be really proud, yeah. He'd really like this.

1:39:30 Brennan: All of you are brought in. You see that the monks wait that night, and actually show tremendous courtesy and hospitality to these prisoners that not a moment before were attacking their monastery. And you see these ants shaken by this show of sacred generosity and of turning of the other cheek, as Rat Jesus maybe would instruct, we don't know. The monks take you in. A long feasting table made out of a bunch of playing cards put on little pizza stands, those little pizza stand mini tables.

1:39:55 Zac: Yes! [Lou laughs]

1:40:19 Emily: Aww.

1:40:19 Ally: Cute.

1:40:20 Brennan: You see they say,

1:40:20 Cockroach: Come and feast with us. We got a bunch of trash, some dog shit, I don't know, fuck it.

1:40:30 Sofia: I'm sorry. Do cockroaches eat dog shit?

1:40:35 Cockroach: I don't know. Hey, we got hotdogs, too. You want hotdogs?

1:40:37 Ricky: I'd eat a hotdog.

1:40:39 Iga: How long has this hotdog been here?

1:40:40 Cody: I would definitely eat a hotdog.

1:40:42 Iga: Two years? Five years?

1:40:42 Emily: Can I do an insight on if the oil that the hotdogs are boiled in is clean or not?

1:40:47 Brennan: Yeah, go for it. It's perception.

1:40:51 Siobhan: I'll give her help on this.

1:40:51 Brennan: Yeah.

1:40:53 Emily: Okay, good. That's a 13.

1:40:55 Brennan: 13?

1:40:56 Emily: Oh wait, it's perception?

1:40:56 Brennan: Perception.

1:40:57 Emily: That's a 17.

1:41:00 Brennan: Any of you will be incredibly sick if you eat any of this food.

1:41:06 Zac: If you're immune to disease?

1:41:08 Brennan: If you're immune to disease—

1:41:08 Siobhan: I pull a hotdog out of Cody's hands right as he's about to—

1:41:11 Cody: Fuck. The ones at the gas station aren't any better. [cast laughs]

1:41:17 Iga: That is not the reason to eat these, that is the reason to not eat the gas station hotdogs.

1:41:24 Cody: That’s actually super interesting. [Ally and Emily laugh]

1:41:26 Brennan: I think Ricky and Cody being immune to disease, you guys will probably be okay. But, yeah—

1:41:33 Sofia: That does explain your diet, Cody, that you're immune to disease. [Siobhan laughs]

1:41:36 Cody: Yeah.

1:41:38 Brennan: But you sit down. You see that one of them pops a massive towering can of soda, and that you know which is in a can would never go bad, so at least you guys can have drinks here. You are holding globes of fizzy soda in your hand 'cause the surface tension is high enough to [slurps]. The Dream Team sip drops of soda.

1:42:00 Kingston: This is fun. I honestly, I enjoy this. This is—

1:42:05 Ricky: I haven't had soda in seven years. [cast laughs]

1:42:11 Siobhan: Ricky is high.

1:42:11 Brennan: Yeah.

1:42:14 Siobhan: Ricky's pupils are like.

1:42:14 Ricky: Wow.

1:42:15 Pete: Hey, Ricky.

1:42:15 Ricky: Hmm?

1:42:16 Pete: Can you lift the blade? Can you lift the Thirsting Blade?

1:42:19 Murph: Oh my god.

1:42:22 Pete: Are you that hopped up?

1:42:26 Ricky: I'll give it a shot if that's just something, I don't know.

1:42:27 Murph: I hand it to Ricky.

1:42:29 Pete: I'm interested.

1:42:31 Zac: What is the check?

1:42:34 Murph: It's a DC 15 athletics check.

1:42:35 Emily: It's a 15 athletics.

1:42:35 Zac: Okay.

1:42:37 Ally: You're just so strong.

1:42:38 Siobhan: Truly so easy for Ricky.

1:42:38 Zac: Yeah, I got a 13 plus nine. [cast bursts out laughing]

1:42:45 Brennan: Yeah. It goes straight up.

1:42:46 Zac: Pick it up.

1:42:49 Ricky: Okay, that's enough—

1:42:49 Pete: Just wanted to see that. That's pretty sick.

1:42:51 Ricky: I'm a little nervous touching it.

1:42:55 Brennan: Yeah, so Cody, you look at Thirsting Blade, Dark Excalibur, Mega Genesis, and now you also have the Peasant Sword here with you. What's going on with Cody here at the cockroaches' table real quick?

1:43:14 Murph: Oh, man. I think Cody has been thinking a lot, but I think it's just been a day since… When was when they were in the dream world? That was yesterday?

1:43:28 Brennan: Yeah, exactly.

1:43:30 Murph: So, he's had his whole fucking world rocked in a day. I think he goes over to Ricky and he goes,

1:43:42 Cody: Hey, dude, do you wanna… I know these other guys can't handle these hotdogs, but do you wanna go have a bad hotdog in the corner? 'Cause I just wanna chat for a sec.

1:43:54 Ricky: Yeah, technically I'm making today a cheat day as well, so.

1:43:59 Cody: Good, cool.

1:44:01 Zac: Ricky has also put actual sized corks on the end of all the blades. [cast laughs]

1:44:10 Ricky: This thing is devastatingly unsafe.

1:44:13 Cody: Yeah, no, I fucking stabbed myself during the fight.

1:44:18 Ricky: Sure, yeah.

1:44:20 Cody: But yeah, listen, I've been thinking a lot since yesterday, and what we were talking about with the katanas and the stuff with JJ getting back the cultural artifacts and everything and me fucking up this ancient sword so bad, and I'm just… I'm a fake sword guy, man. I don't actually know fucking anything. All of my references are third or fourthhand fucking bastardized versions of everything. So, I still don't know anything. I'm sorry for acting like I was a fucking expert on this stuff. You and fucking everybody else has been nothing but super cool to me, and you tried to fucking teach me to be a paladin and all I cared about was fucking aesthetics and shit. And when all you care about is the aesthetics and everything, you fucking lose the history of everything. Not just Gladiator being this supernatural force, it's people doing fucking shitty dumb shit and not knowing anything and acting like they know stuff. I'm the problem. This is the fucking dream stuff going into the fucking real world, man. My sword sucks ass and it's my fault, and I'm sorry for being a fucking dick to you. I'm really fucking sorry.

1:46:08 Ricky: Yeah. Well, apology accepted. I think that you really covered it. Like you said, swords are cool, but it's also, like you said, cool to know where it came from and respect that. I think that's awesome. Thanks, dude.

1:46:27 Cody: Totally. No, thank you.

1:46:28 Ricky: Cheers.

1:46:30 Cody: Cheers to the hotdogs, man. And I know you're more of an axe guy than a sword guy, but I would like to fix the Questing Blade 'cause I fucked that up, I think I can fix it, and I think you really deserve whatever fucking magic is hidden in this.

1:46:48 Murph: And I wanna give him back the Peasant Sword.

1:46:51 Ricky: Oh. Well, gosh, I mean, why don't you hang on to it for now? 'Cause who knows how…

1:47:03 Zac: I think Ricky actually likes holding onto the axe. I think that's more ideal for him at the moment. I don't think Cody has to use the sword or not, but I think—

1:47:15 Cody: No, I'm cool. I just honestly feel fucked up that we just had this whole conversation and you just gave me a sword. So, that was just—

1:47:25 Ricky: Hey, I'm just not gonna use it right now, so if you wanna hang on to that until you figure out what's going on with the Questing Blade.

1:47:31 Cody: Okay, I'll fix the Questing Blade, but I very much appreciate the Peasant Sword, and I am going to do my best to become a real actual fucking sword guy.

1:47:43 Ricky: Hell yeah.

1:47:46 Murph: I eat a hotdog.

1:47:48 Brennan: Cody, you hear Bazathrax in your chest go,

1:47:52 Bazathrax: Dude, I heard what you were saying. I think we could fix the Questing Blade by adding the Peasant Sword in there. I think the problem is there's not enough swords. Do quadruple sword.

1:48:10 Cody: The power of the quadruple sword.

1:48:11 Emily: Essentially a comb.

1:48:15 Murph: A comb! Cody thinks about the potential of the quadruple blade for a moment and goes,

1:48:19 Cody: No, I cannot give in.

1:48:20 Ricky: Hey, Cody, what are you thinking about?

1:48:22 Cody: The devil inside me is trying to tell me to add a fourth sword to the Questing Blade, but I know that that's a fucking stupid idea.

1:48:29 Ricky: Probably not a good idea, right?

1:48:30 Cody: Yeah, that's a fucking stupid idea.

1:48:33 Ricky: The problem wasn't that it wasn't heavy enough, right? Or that it doesn't have enough blades.

1:48:38 Cody: Paladin lesson number one, you don't need more than one fucking blade on your sword. Just the one is fine. 'Cause my sword was fine before, right? I was doing pretty good.

1:48:47 Ricky: Picture me as another tattoo on your back. [Brennan and Emily laugh]

1:48:52 Ricky: Instead of an angel and a devil on each shoulder, it's a chest piece and a back piece that I guess both say "Redemption".

1:48:58 Cody: Interesting. [cast cracks up]

1:49:01 Cody: That's fucking rad, Ricky. That sounds fucking awesome. I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna get "Redemption" on my back as well.

1:49:04 Ally: Holy shit.

1:49:07 Ricky: You don't have to. It seems like you don't have any money. [Emily, Siobhan, and Murph laugh]

1:49:11 Cody: Yeah, wow, I'm fucked. Fuck, yeah. Shit, well yeah, thanks.

1:49:16 Ricky: Cool.

1:49:19 Cody: Thanks, man.

1:49:21 Brennan: Amazing. As Cody and Ricky bond over in the corner, you see Marty says,

1:49:27 Marty: Wow, really happy to have you. Yeah, if you need the three of us to reach out to Kugrash, we'd be happy to do that for you, no problem. Whenever you all want that to happen, it can happen. But we can reach out to him, you know? It means a lot that you found us, and I can feel it in myself after you activated that, Ricky, that part of you was keeping that alive, that there are things that have gone missing from New York. And sometimes they go missing. Things can always change and be different, but it's good to pass the torch, so to speak.

1:50:18 Ricky: Yeah, and I think it feels like you're doing great work down here. We can all just try to keep Rat Jesus in our hearts.

1:50:29 Marty: Yeah, that's exactly what you gotta do.

1:50:34 Brennan: For all of you that are sitting here as well, you have this incredible thing. Kingston, you look down at that egg in your arms.

1:50:46 Emily: Have we seen the egg yet?

1:50:47 Brennan: No—

1:50:47 Lou: Yeah.

1:50:47 Brennan: I think… Yeah, go.

1:50:51 Emily: You're allowed to be private—

1:50:52 Lou: I just did the whole fight with the egg. [laughs] Lightning Bolt, egg. No.

1:50:57 Zac: It's like a Heisman Trophy.

1:50:58 Lou: [laughs] Exactly. Mass Cure Wounds, egg. [Ally laughs]

1:51:03 Lou: No, yeah. What's going on with the egg, Brennan?

1:51:13 Brennan: Kingston, I would say, if Kingston wants to roll an insight or a perception, he's welcome to do so.

1:51:18 Lou: Oh, big time. Great. That's gonna be a 21 insight.

1:51:30 Brennan: I think Kingston is just feeling… With a 21 insight, you're just feeling very protective of this right now. And I think an insight check would allow you to understand, this being is an egg, and you're like, “This is a dragon's egg, I saw this come out of a thing.” And then you're like, “Oh, but look at how beautiful and cool it looks.” And with a 21 insight, you also, I think, realize that this egg chose to fight for New York. It could feel the raw Umbra seeping through the chest. It could feel that… Everything in Iga's castle is all about the history of Iga's family, and everything in that dragon is about the ancient world, and rightfully so. Dragons have been about, seem to be, magically associated with the past. But you think about all the things you never learned about the Dragon of Bleecker Street and how special it was for a place that, on the scale of the world, is relatively new, to have a spirit that was helping itself. And you think about those New York minutes flashing and how fast this city goes and how easy it is to get distracted, and you think about the fact that someone somewhere keeping a track of the story of all these people matter. You think about Pete learning about the past Vox Phantasmi, and you realize, you've never once put a lot of thought into who the past Vox Populi were. There were people just like you who fought important fights for the people of this city, and I don't think Kingston knows their stories. And you know that the Dragon of Bleecker Street would have.

1:53:19 Lou: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I think Kingston is starting to ask those… Like you're saying, is asking… I don't know, there's the opportunity, he's thinking about, I don't know, all of the time he spent as… I don't know, I guess endings and beginnings. I think the beginning of his journey as the Vox Populi, but that being the end of the Dragon of Bleecker Street, and then this being the beginning of a new dragon. And I don't know, all of the time he has spent being the Vox. And I don't know, I guess, yeah, there is a little bit of historical significance with regard to his own place. Yeah, he doesn't know anything outside of himself with regard to his time in this role.

1:54:12 Brennan: I think as Kingston also is thinking of endings and beginnings… This is the tail end of that insight check, but there's also a question that would occur to Kingston about, this thing is powerful, and you don't wanna disrespect a spirit, but this thing has already done a lot to save your city from Null, from what is beyond. But you're also, part of you is like, this is a fucking kid. Isn't that what this is? An egg is a kid, there's a kid in here.

1:54:50 Lou: Yeah.

1:54:52 Brennan: And maybe there's some unfairness or protectiveness around a thing that's already doing more than its fair share.

1:55:02 Lou: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think this is just one more reason why this fight is so much more important, and why Gladiator's gonna fuckin' die. [Brennan laughs]

1:55:17 Lou: I think Kingston just menacingly rubs the egg knowing that the New York that it grows up in is not going to be one defined by this company, and its empty wants and its empty homes.

1:55:34 Ally: Wow.

1:55:34 Brennan: Hell yeah. You feel a coursing power. And I don't even know if Kingston notices. I think for the others there, like Sofia and Pete and Iga, you guys notice a meditation from Kingston on this egg and feel that sense of power growing. So, you guys have accomplished a fair amount. You guys have accomplished all of your short-term goals, you've located these spirits. The question becomes, you know that, weirdly, the box ended up being a huge unexpected victory because there were these two tools to fight the power of emptiness and isolation and the power of forgetting, both in terms of forgotten people because now you have a way of contacting Kugrash and getting some of that wisdom and power, and of forgotten times and stories through this powerful Dragon's egg that you now hold. So, with the horror of fleeing from Nod, you have quickly, in the span of a day, turned that into assembling a group of tools here on the side of the waking world, and I don't think are feeling… Something horrifying is happening on the other side of the barrier between waking and dreaming, but you have got way more tools on the side you're on than you had a day ago. You look at the feast concluding, and I guess the question is, whether you guys want to push to try and get these three totems and summon Kugrash as soon as possible, or whether you feel an instinct to wait longer to do that. But you guys are all at the feasting table as the night wears on. Marty is off ministering to the other cockroaches.

1:57:37 Marty: Hey, feel free to stay as long as you want. The trains run all night.

1:57:42 Kingston: Great, thank you, Marty.

1:57:45 Pete: Thank you, Marty.

1:57:46 Ricky: What do we think? Feels like a big moment.

1:57:53 Kingston: Right?

1:57:53 Sofia: Yeah. It feels like, I personally don't know quite yet what we're gonna ask of Kugrash, personally.

1:58:00 Ricky: Yeah, what would we ask him?

1:58:02 Sofia: Does anyone have a clear idea of what? Or should we wait?

1:58:09 Ricky: If Kugrash is… I'm just thinking out loud. If Kugrash has become sort of, he ate the everything bagel and he's everything and Null wants to be nothing, is there a question there? I don't have the actual question, but.

1:58:28 Sofia: But I guess, is it a question as much as, do we summon him in a moment that we need everything? [everyone ooh’s]

1:58:37 Ricky: Maybe we can ask him if that makes sense to him.

1:58:40 Kingston: Yeah, it seems like the cockroaches will give us the ability to ask questions—

1:58:46 Sofia: Oh, it's not a one-time thing.

1:58:47 Kingston: And then bring in the gang together, I think might be some kind of larger, more momentous.

1:58:53 Sofia: I see, I thought it was a one-time thing. Okay, yeah, I guess let's… Then, okay.

1:59:01 Ricky: Do we do it?

1:59:02 Kingston: Yeah, you guys want?

1:59:02 Ricky: I'm down.

1:59:04 Kingston: I feel like, let's talk to Marty.

1:59:07 Sofia: Yeah.

1:59:08 Brennan: Hell yeah. Sofia, so, you all go and approach. Marty looks at you and says,

1:59:21 Marty: Yeah, if you wanna try to commune with the Sacred Rat, with Rat Jesus, come be our guest.

1:59:32 Brennan: He gestures to some beautiful spaces that used to be lined with napkins and are now huge metal shelves where you see cockroaches sitting in meditation on the power of the Sacred Rat. I don't know if everyone here would attempt individually to approach this. I mean, Sofia, you know meditation very, very well at this point. So, you can absolutely attempt it, but whatever it is that people wanna do, they can do here.

2:00:07 Murph: I guess Cody doesn't totally know what's going on. [Zac laughs]

2:00:11 Murph: So I think he'll just—

2:00:11 Siobhan: Yeah, same.

2:00:12 Murph: I think he'll just help—

2:00:12 Ricky: Come on, Cody.

2:00:14 Murph: Sofie.

2:00:15 Cody: Ah, shit.

2:00:16 Brennan: Cool.

2:00:18 Sofia: I mean, like I said, I don't totally know what to ask. Does anyone have a specific question I should ask Kug? Or should I just say, "Hey," if we think it's not a one-time thing, and give him the lay of the land.

2:00:35 Zac: How did it work when he asked the bagel? I wonder if it's… I don't know if it's the same.

2:00:42 Brennan: When he—

2:00:42 Emily: I don't recall.

2:00:43 Brennan: When he ate the bagel, he became omniscient.

2:00:48 Siobhan: So, maybe he will know a way to take out this Null.

2:00:55 Brennan: I think that that is probably… What occurs to you guys is, bringing those… 'Cause the cockroaches here meditate to get just glimpses of Kugrash. If you were to bring all three totems together, you could bring Kugrash's will, or a fraction of his attention back here to this present moment, 'cause Kugrash is existing throughout all time, although time is, as we know, partially being collapsed right now, but Kugrash exists infinitely in all directions, so it's about taking this eternal thing and directing its attention and focus back to this present moment, which is what those spirits would potentially be able to do. But if Sofia just wants to reach out on her own, the monks here do get glimpses, so it's like, if you wanted to check in, you could do that, but if you wanted a big thing, like what do we do to defeat Null? That would probably be gathering the totems together to be able to do that.

2:01:27 Zac: Gotcha.

2:01:59 Emily: Okay, then I guess let's do that, right?

2:02:03 Lou: Yeah.

2:02:03 Zac: Yeah. Does it cost us anything to just try to catch a glimpse?

2:02:08 Emily: No, I could try to do that.

2:02:09 Zac: 'Cause I think the other one, we would have to round everyone up, right? It seems like.

2:02:13 Brennan: Sounds like it, yeah.

2:02:15 Zac: Since we're here, I don't know, I would.

2:02:17 Pete: I mean, we might as well kinda lowkey pray to him, or just let him know what's on our mind.

2:02:24 Kingston: Yeah, I'll take his blessing.

2:02:25 Sofia: Why don't we all pray to Rat Jesus?

2:02:26 Ricky: Yeah.

2:02:26 Kingston: Yeah.

2:02:26 Pete: Yeah.

2:02:27 Sofia: Let's all get in on it.

2:02:27 Kingston: I'll take a moment.

2:02:29 Ricky: Prayer to Rat Jesus.

2:02:30 Murph: Cody will take a pamphlet.

2:02:30 Brennan: Cool.

2:02:32 Murph: He's at a crossroads.

2:02:33 Marty: Hey, we printed this on leaves and fuckin' old store paper bags and shit. It says what we believe.

2:02:41 Cody: Look at the way I'm dressed right now. I'm just a mismatch of everything, so this is—

2:02:47 Marty: Yeah, you dress like a cool guy.

2:02:50 Cody: Thank you so much.

2:02:50 Marty: Yeah.

2:02:55 Brennan: All of you… I'm gonna say, everyone here, go ahead, we'll make a group Wisdom check. Everyone go ahead and give me a Wisdom check.

2:03:12 Ally: 15.

2:03:13 Siobhan: God, I rolled another nat 1.

2:03:14 Brennan: Oh, no.

2:03:14 Murph: I think—

2:03:15 Siobhan: All I've been doing is rolling nat 1s.

2:03:17 Murph: Cody—

2:03:17 Brennan: Yeah?

2:03:18 Zac: What check?

2:03:19 Murph: Cody has a minus two to wisdom, so I think Cody is just gonna try to be respectful, but also he's just closing his eyes and mouthing things, but not actually praying 'cause he doesn't know what's going on. [Brennan and Emily laugh]

2:03:33 Ally: Great.

2:03:34 Emily: I got a 17.

2:03:34 Brennan: 17.

2:03:36 Zac: Me too.

2:03:36 Brennan: Cool.

2:03:38 Ally: 15.

2:03:38 Brennan: 15 from Pete.

2:03:40 Lou: I got a 13.

2:03:40 Brennan: 13.

2:03:44 Siobhan: Does that make it? 'Cause if it doesn't, I'll use a luck point.

2:03:49 Brennan: What did Iga get?

2:03:50 Siobhan: I rolled a nat 1.

2:03:50 Brennan: Nat 1? Nat 1's not gonna do it.

2:03:54 Siobhan: No, but isn't it a group wisdom check?

2:03:56 Brennan: Oh, yes, yes, yes, it is a group Wisdom check. Yeah, all of you… Yes, actually, the four people that knew Kugrash in life push you all. You are floating in liminal space. Kingston and Pete, you both look at each other and realize from your expressions, neither of you are in your home realm right now. You're not in the Dreaming and you're not in New York anymore. A placid surface of dark water extends everywhere. You encounter a very different kind of emptiness here. This is the opposite of whatever Null is, this is quiet, serenity. It's the realization that when you are calm and focused, you're still connected to everything because you are, yourself, a part of the tapestry of infinity. No more or no less than all of the things that sum to creation. Ricky and Sofia, I think you two rolled the highest. What are each of you remembering about Kugrash in this moment?

2:05:33 Zac: Him saying stuff like, "Ah, shit, we're all gonna die," like that sort of vibe. [Brennan and Murph laugh]

2:05:39 Zac: Curmudgeonly helping. Brennan nods.

2:05:42 Emily: I already mentioned it, but I think I just see a montage of him waking me up with breakfast sandwiches while I'm passed out in the trash, and yeah, and just hanging out with me when no one else would.

2:06:02 Brennan: You feel an incredible presence here. You are moving through this space. As you move through this [whooshing] void, and actually come to be perfectly still. Murph, I'm gonna throw you a curveball.

2:06:27 Murph: Okay.

2:06:29 Zac: Cody steps up.

2:06:34 Emily: [laughs] Cody is the reincarnation of Kugrash.

2:06:41 Brennan: Murph, infinite points of light appear from the warm and welcoming darkness and begin to coalesce as something infinite and eternal chooses to make itself finite in order to show how much it loves those things which move in space and time. What do your friends see as this image of Kugrash reconstitutes? And what does a fraction of the eternal and sacred rat say as it arrives?

2:07:37 Murph: I think you see… It looks like a constellation, lights like stars that form a giant rat, but you can smell on the wind that he smells like trash and shit. [Emily and Siobhan laugh] Ally shakes their head.

2:07:56 Murph: This is not just a constellation, not just stars.

2:08:05 Ricky: My eyes are burning.

2:08:08 Sofia: This is a sensitive time of smell for me.

2:08:11 Murph: And then I think… Sorry, did you say you wanted me to say something, too?

2:08:16 Brennan: Yeah.

2:08:18 Murph: Okay. And then I think Kug goes, in a booming voice, goes,

2:08:27 Kugrash: Hey, what's going on, guys? Just kidding, I know what's going on, it's pretty fucking bad out there, huh? [Emily laughs]

2:08:35 Brennan: And that's all for this episode of "The Unsleeping City". Tune in next week as we say hello to an old friend. Bye-bye!

2:08:46 Ally: Oh my god.

2:08:48 Lou: Wow.

2:08:48 Emily: Yes!

2:08:50 Lou: Look at that.

2:08:51 Murph: Oh man, it's fun to be Kugrash again.

2:08:52 Ally: Oh, that's so funny. Yeah!

2:08:52 Edited by: gluegunshots, solsys