Home for the Holidays

0:00:00 Isabella: You fucking bitches, I'm not going anywhere. I fucking stole Santa's list. I got that fat fuck off his fucking sled. I am gonna marry Robert Moses.

0:00:13 Kingston: Willy, is that you?

0:00:15 Willy: Anyone out there, stand back.

0:00:16 Brennan: The water tower, boom, crashes. All this fire fucking vanishes. You hear a voice in the back of your head.

0:00:25 Jackson: What you gonna do?

0:00:26 Sofia: I'm gonna fuck this bitch up. [loud booming]

0:00:30 Brennan: Up through here to the ceiling. Her teeth and skull scatter into the night sky.

0:00:36 Willy: Kingston Brown, there are forces moving against us very quickly in the city. [END RECAP] [“Deck the Halls” playing in the background]

0:00:49 Brennan: Here we go, guys. Are you guys ready? [table slapping]

0:00:52 Brennan: [singing] Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la!

0:00:54 All: [singing] Fa la la la la la la la la! Brennan and Emily are both wearing Christmas sweaters.

0:00:56 Brennan: Hey, guys, and welcome back to "The Unsleeping City". I'm Brennan Lee Mulligan, these are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes.

0:01:03 All: Hi intrepid heroes! [all singing over each other]

0:01:07 Ally: [singing] Oh Santa.

0:01:11 Brennan: It's a very, what a very festive episode we have here, probably airing sometime in like July or August. But whatever, it's not the time that the campaign is set in.

0:01:20 Emily: That's when you miss Christmas the most.

0:01:21 Zac: That’s true.

0:01:22 Emily: Or the holidays, pardon me.

0:01:22 Brennan: The holidays, yes. Gang, last we left our intrepid heroes, they were in a burning art loft somewhere in Bushwick where they had just defeated Isabella Infierno, the lieutenant and fiancee of Robert Moses and the murderer of Dale Lee. Our heroes went their separate ways. Misty back to her penthouse. Kugrash to a little dog bed in Wally's apartment. Ricky back to his studio and his weights and protein shakes.

0:01:57 Zac: Yeah.

0:01:58 Brennan: Sofia back to Staten Island and her house.

0:02:02 Emily: [flatly] Mm.

0:02:03 Brennan: And [laughs] Kingston and Pete stayed up late listening to jazz and chatting before they each got their first good night’s sleep in a long time. Ally sighs contentedly.

0:02:16 Lou: Oh yeah.

0:02:18 Brennan: It is a bright, sunny morning. It is brick city, a freezing day. One of those days in New York where it's extremely bright and extremely cold. Little bits of dust and wind kick up, cutting through people's coats. We are gonna go ahead and start at Kingston Brown's apartment the following morning. You guys wake up. Your shift starts a little bit later, so you have the morning to yourself. [little snore] Pete, you come to. It's that first night of long like 11 hour sleep after a bender that has lasted for whoever knows how long. So like eye crusts, snot crust. Like sweaty and like hot and you're like, oh, my body actually got a chance to heal itself of all these stress injuries over the course of the night. What do you guys do as you awake that morning? It is December 21st, by the way!

0:03:13 Murph: Mm.

0:03:13 Ally: Ooh!

0:03:14 Siobhan: Oh my goodness.

0:03:15 Lou: Well, if it's December 21st, I’m making breakfast.

0:03:20 Zac: Classic December 21st.

0:03:21 Lou: Classic December 21st breakfast-making.

0:03:24 Emily: Is it the solstice? The 21st?

0:03:26 Brennan: The longest night of the year. Yes, that’s absolutely right.

0:03:27 Ally: Mm.

0:03:27 Emily: Oo.

0:03:29 Ally: Cool.

0:03:30 Lou: Well, I'm making breakfast just because. You know, we're gonna have some grits. We're gonna have some pancakes, scrambled eggs. I got some Polish sausage from down the way.

0:03:39 Ally: Woo.

0:03:40 Lou: You know, we're gonna do it right.

0:03:42 Ally: Cool. I take the broom out and I just kinda start sweeping. 'Cause it's hard to not be doing something when you're treating me so well.

0:03:50 Kingston: Pete, you don't have to sweep nothing.

0:03:52 Pete: I'm picking up a little bit of dust here and there so uh...

0:03:55 Kingston: Hey, more power to you.

0:03:56 Pete: All right.

0:03:57 Kingston: Hey, you want cherry tomatoes in the eggs?

0:03:58 Pete: Oo, yes, that sounds delicious.

0:04:00 Kingston: You got it.

0:04:01 Brennan: You hear a knock at the door at your apartment door.

0:04:03 Kingston: Hey, Pete, can you get that?

0:04:04 Pete: Yeah, sure. Hello.

0:04:06 Brennan: You open the door and see an extremely twee, cute old couple that are dressed up in sort of, you know, house clothes. There is a tiny, bespectacled old woman. And an extremely grumpy-looking old man with a cane. You recognize these must be Kingston's parents from downstairs. Victoria looks at you, seeing a stranger in Kingston's apartment, and doesn't have any… Bat an eyelash at all and goes.

0:04:36 Victoria: My goodness. Are you Pete?

0:04:39 Pete: I am Pete.

0:04:40 Victoria: I'm Victoria, come here.

0:04:41 Pete: Oh, you must be Kingston's parents. Oh. Victoria gives Pete a hug and kisses both his cheeks.

0:04:44 Brennan: She takes a sort of Saran-wrapped, it's one of those things where it's like a little tin of what used to be cookies. Opens the tin and there's Saran-wrapped, homemade cookies in it. Plastic's on the thing. You see that the old man looks at you and goes... [grumbles and nods]

0:04:58 Pete: Good to meet you, sir.

0:05:00 Winston: [low, very raspy voice] Hi, my name is Winston Brown.

0:05:04 Pete: Firm handshake.

0:05:04 Brennan: Gives you, just glares, looks over at Kingston. Gives you this look that he often gives you, 'cause you have, of course, kept, gotten people back up on their feet in your apartment many times before, gives you a look like…

0:05:16 Winston: Trouble, kid trouble?

0:05:17 Kingston: Absolutely not, Pop. Get in here. Also, Mom, it's much too early for cookies.

0:05:22 Victoria: Why, why, why would you say it's too early for cookies?

0:05:24 Kingston: Mom, it's 9:00 a.m.

0:05:24 Ally: I'm eating a cookie.

0:05:26 Kingston: Okay.

0:05:27 Pete: These are amazing. Thank you so much.

0:05:29 Victoria: You can have cookies anytime you like. That’s too sweet!

0:05:31 Pete: Wow.

0:05:32 Kingston: Mom, go sit down, all right?

0:05:33 Victoria: All right. You don't tell me what to do. I am tired though, I mean, it's a long flight up! These stairs. We gotta get someone in the building about these stairs.

0:05:42 Ally: Can I text Ricky and be like,

0:05:42 Pete: Are cookies the good carb?

0:05:47 Ricky: Absolutely not.

0:05:51 Zac: Cranking this treadmill up.

0:05:54 Pete: Shoot. Okay, ah, damn.

0:05:57 Ricky: But have fun with your life.

0:05:59 Pete: Ricky's helping me put on size.

0:06:01 Kingston: Oh, oh, word up. All right, Pete. Okay, Pete.

0:06:05 Brennan: You see that Pop looks over at you and says,

0:06:09 Winston: Put on size, that's a problem, put on size. And you know, back in my day, the leading men in the movies, they had, you know. John Wayne didn't have size. He had grit.

0:06:19 Kingston: All right, ain't nobody needing to be admiring John Wayne, Pop.

0:06:23 Winston: What's wrong with John Wayne?

0:06:24 Kingston: There's so much wrong with John Wayne.

0:06:27 Winston: What's wrong with John Wayne? I like a western movie. He had a big chest and skinny arms 'cause when you throw a punch, you throw from the chest. You don't throw from the… You know what I'm saying?

0:06:38 Pete: I actually heard John Wayne was put up by the person who made The Hollywood Reporter. He actually invented John Wayne. They put him in a lot of articles.

0:06:47 Winston: I don't know anything about all that. I don't know anything about all that.

0:06:49 Pete: He wasn't anyone. They just put him in all these articles. And then, all of a sudden, all the people wanted to work with him. I got a, you should read it.

0:06:58 Kingston: Pete does a lot of real cool stuff. He's a good dude. He's really into the arts.

0:07:05 Brennan: You see Victoria looks over and says,

0:07:08 Victoria: Well, you're an artist, that's amazing. What kinda art do you do?

0:07:12 Pete: Oh, I mostly hang out with other artists. I just like art. But I'm not, I—

0:07:19 Winston: You some kind of critic? You an art critic?

0:07:21 Pete: No, no, no. Definitely not, no.

0:07:24 Winston: This kid an art critic?

0:07:26 Kingston: No, Pop, he's not an artist. Pete is… What would you...What is your...

0:07:32 Pete: I run deliveries.

0:07:32 Kingston: There you go.

0:07:33 Pete: Just kind of like a blue collar job.

0:07:37 Brennan: You see that the, yeah. Winston looks over and says,

0:07:39 Winston: So, what's bringing you over here to Kingston's apartment? Why are you staying with Kingston for a little while?

0:07:48 Pete: Oh, we have a lot of mutual friends.

0:07:50 Kingston: Yes.

0:07:51 Brennan: You see that Victoria kind of like blindly nods to this and Winston kind of crosses his…

0:07:56 Winston: You two run in the same circles? I noticed that you've drawn on your fingers.

0:08:02 Pete: Oh yeah. Yeah. I have some tattoos. I have some tattoos.

0:08:08 Kingston: Me and Pete recently started playing chess together. We joined a—

0:08:17 Brennan: You see Pop goes,

0:08:17 Winston: That's a great game. That's a great game.

0:08:20 Pete: Mm-hmm.

0:08:20 Kingston: It's a great game. Pete is very good at chess.

0:08:21 Winston: That's a great game.

0:08:22 Pete: Yeah.

0:08:24 Brennan: So you see Victoria, without missing a beat, looks over at you, puts another cookie in your hand, also gets up to start just help you with breakfast.

0:08:30 Kington: Mom, stop.

0:08:31 Victoria: What?

0:08:32 Kington: Sit down.

0:08:32 Victoria: Why can’t I…

0:08:33 Kington: I am cooking breakfast.

0:08:34 Victoria: [hands up in defeat] All right, all right. It's your kitchen, your rules.

0:08:37 Kingston: Yeah, my kitchen. When I'm downstairs, you're in charge. When you're upstairs, I'm in charge.

0:08:42 Ally: I'm furiously sweeping now.

0:08:44 Brennan: She sits down and says,

0:08:44 Victoria: So well, Pete, what are your plans for Christmas? Do you celebrate Christmas?

0:08:51 Pete: Um, I grew up celebrating Christmas, yeah. I don't really have any plans.

0:08:53 Victoria: Well! Victoria whips her head around to stare pointedly at Kingston, who shrugs good-naturedly.

0:08:55 Pete: Yeah.

0:08:56 Victoria: We’re having family over, a bunch of people driving into the city. You should feel free to come.

0:09:01 Pete: I would love to.

0:09:02 Kingston: Oh, Pete, it'll be—

0:09:02 Victoria: Is that all right? Am I overstepping my bounds? Can Pete come for Christmas.

0:09:04 Kingston: Not a chance. It would be a hoot and a holler to have you there, Pete.

0:09:07 Pete: Cool. Oh man, that means so much. This is such a warm, sweet place.

0:09:11 Victoria: That's wonder…

0:09:11 Brennan: She gets up and pulls a little thing out and just starts measuring your body.

0:09:15 Victoria: What size shirt or shoe are you?

0:09:17 Pete: Large.

0:09:18 Victoria: Large? Okay. Are you sure?

0:09:20 Pete: Huh?

0:09:20 Victoria: Are you sure?

0:09:21 Pete: Yeah. Large, if I—

0:09:22 Victoria: Is that the style?

0:09:23 Kingston: I mean, he's putting on size.

0:09:26 Pete: Yeah, I'm putting on size.

0:09:27 Kingston: This is the sweater you're gonna grow into.

0:09:29 Pete: Yeah, yeah yeah.

0:09:31 Victoria: All right. Well, so if you're putting on size, so I should make extra food for you is what you're saying.

0:09:34 Pete: Yeah, that'd be great. Um, do you have like complex carbs and pure protein?

0:09:43 Victoria: We were gonna have turkey.

0:09:44 Pete: Great, that's great. I'm sorry, I'm talking like Ricky.

0:09:47 Victoria: And we also do a ham, a Christmas ham. It's traditional, so...

0:09:50 Kingston: Yeah. We're doing it all. You know how to play dominoes?

0:09:53 Pete: Mm-hmm.

0:09:54 Kingston: Great. It’s gonna be good

0:09:55 Brennan: You see that Winston reaches into a little coat pocket and pulls out a single domino and does the like finger trick with it. He says,

0:10:02 Winston: Oh, you think you know how to play dominoes. Well, this should be very interesting.

0:10:07 Kingston: All right, Pop, no money. There's no, we agreed two Christmases ago—

0:10:11 Winston: You gotta spice up the game, Kingston!

0:10:12 Kingston: You can't gamble.

0:10:14 Pete: I agree.

0:10:15 Winston: You gotta spice it up. Dominoes without money? Come on, that's crazy. That is a crazy thought.

0:10:21 Kingston: All right.

0:10:21 Pete: I always put money on dominoes.

0:10:23 Kingston: Okay.

0:10:23 Pete: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I wanna be on your team with this, but—

0:10:26 Brennan: As soon as you say that, Winston goes [laughs] and punches you in the shoulder.

0:10:30 Winston: I like this kid.

0:10:31 Ally: I pretend it didn't hurt but it hurts so… It went straight to the bone.

0:10:35 Kingston: All right, y'all, breakfast is ready, okay? Nobody needs to be punching nobody or gambling on no domino.

0:10:41 Brennan: Kingston's delightful parents fill the room with conversation. You see that without even asking to, Victoria moves some food off of her plate onto your plate as she finishes. And you see that you… Delightful breakfast. As it gets closer to time to go to work for Kingston, you see a little thing bleeps up on your phone.

0:11:04 Ally: Cool. I open it.

0:11:05 Brennan: It's a text from 53V3N, basically saying like 53V3N: We need to talk. Like we need to talk. Have you moved the last batch yet? Let's talk about re-upping soon.

0:11:15 Ally: Cool, yeah I write like,

0:11:15 Pete: Yeah, I can swing by today.

0:11:18 Brennan: Rad. Cool. Kingston, make a Perception check.

0:11:24 Lou: That's gonna be a 19.

0:11:27 Brennan: You notice, you're not trying to eavesdrop, but you're a very observant guy, so you notice that little text sort of show up on Pete's phone.

0:11:35 Kingston: Hey, Pete, I'm about to go to work. What are you up to today?

0:11:37 Pete: I'm gonna go take care of...

0:11:41 Kingston: Business?

0:11:42 Pete: Business. Yeah, yeah.

0:11:44 Kingston: But you won't be participating in business.

0:11:47 Pete: No. No, I won't. I just got a trial membership at a gym and I'm gonna go swimming afterwards.

0:11:55 Kingston: Oh. Okay, Pete, Ricky would be thrilled to hear that.

0:12:00 Pete: I don't know if swimming is the right choice, but I did Google mass exercise and swimming.

0:12:05 Kingston: Mass exercise?

0:12:07 Pete: I'm trying to gain mass.

0:12:07 Kingston: Oh, for mass. Okay.

0:12:08 Pete: I don't know.

0:12:09 Kingston: Got it.

0:12:09 Pete: We'll see.

0:12:11 Kingston: Word up. Well, hey, have a good day.

0:12:13 Pete: Yeah, you too.

0:12:14 Brennan: Kingston, you take off for work. Pete, you also take off for work.

0:12:17 Ally: Great.

0:12:18 Brennan: We're gonna cut over to Misty. You awaken in your beautiful penthouse. The forces of evil took a real bad beating at that party and you finally have a morning to look at your lines. You see that Benjamin shows up with a little thing of fruit salad and some bagels. He sits down and says,

0:12:37 Benjamin: All right, so we're taking it from the top tonight? Is that what we're doing?

0:12:42 Misty: I think so, right?

0:12:42 Benjamin: Absolutely. Let's get these ivories a-kicking. Here we go. Two, three.

0:12:48 Brennan: And just as he's about to start, you see Alissa walks in and says,

0:12:52 Alissa: Hi, Ms. Moore, sorry to interrupt, am I? Oh, sorry. Am I, is this a bad time? Should I come back? Am I, I'm so sorry.

0:13:00 Misty: Tell me what you need to tell me. You've already interrupted.

0:13:03 Brennan: Benjamin goes,

0:13:03 Benjamin: [clicks lips] Wow.

0:13:07 Brennan: Um [laughs] And Alissa walks over to you and says,

0:13:13 Alissa: Um, so, I am so sorry about interrupting the last rehearsal, everything is set up. And I took extra precautions, so everything is where it needs to be in the theater and I didn't let anyone see me do any of it for whatever reason. But there's some questions about the legal paperwork you asked me to look forward about your, the trust fund, and your last will and testament.

0:13:36 Misty: Mm-hmm.

0:13:37 Alissa: This is all, it's all been notarized and everything's set up. The name of the individual that's set to inherit your estate should you pass away is still TBD and there were some questions about that.

0:13:50 Misty: Yeah, no. Well, I'm a single lady and I've had a fun life. But I do want to leave my stuff to some people, or a person, who maybe I haven't figured out what that name is gonna be yet. [quickly] I mean, who they are yet. [Brennan laughs]

0:14:11 Brennan: You see, she looks at you. Go ahead and make a Deception roll for me real quick.

0:14:20 Siobhan: That is a not natural 20.

0:14:22 Brennan: You see she goes,

0:14:22 Alissa: Okay. So sorry, yes, do I need to get name change informa… No, there is a person who is going to inherit your estate.

0:14:34 Misty: Yes, absolutely, a beautiful young woman. [Emily chuckles]

0:14:39 Alissa: So you do know who it is. Can we get her name?

0:14:42 Misty: Mm. How about...

0:14:47 Brennan: You see Benjamin goes,

0:14:47 Benjamin: How about? Misty, can I inherit your estate? What's happening?

0:14:56 Misty: Oh, darling, you know I love you and you're gonna be looked after.

0:14:59 Benjamin: Okay, well good, I guess. [chuckling] I would hope so. Been here slinging tunes on these pianos for a long, long time, Misty.

0:15:08 Misty: Yes, yes, and you've had a job that whole time haven't you, Ben?

0:15:11 Benjamin: Wow, meow, claws are out, I suppose.

0:15:17 Misty: Alissa, you're done. I'll figure it out. I'll send you a text message with the name.

0:15:23 Alissa: Okay. So I'll get the name in a text message?

0:15:25 Misty: I'll send you a text message.

0:15:27 Alissa: Okay, wonderful. I'll look out for that text and I'm just trying to think if there's anything else here. Some of the things, they just wanted clarification on some of the things that are being willed here. Because it just seems like you know who this person is, because you're willing some of your clothes that have specific measurements for a person that, again, we don't have a name or a social security or a banking account.

0:15:53 Misty: I'm just assuming that anybody who I would give my estate to would have a specific shape and size of figure.

0:16:04 Alissa: Misty, I will--

0:16:05 Misty: Alissa, what do you need from me? Why, I'm in rehearsal.

0:16:09 Alissa: I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. I apologize. It's not my place to ask these questions. And, I swear to God, it will not happen again.

0:16:17 Misty: No. No, it won't.

0:16:19 Alissa: Okay.

0:16:20 Brennan: And she...

0:16:21 Misty: How many times?

0:16:22 Alissa: [beleaguered] I am so sorry.

0:16:22 Brennan: And she swishes out the door. You see Benjamin goes,

0:16:26 Benjamin: Very well. So, maybe we should, you know, we got a little bit of an interruption. Do you wanna just go to the final sort of aria? I mean, you wanna go to the last big movement?

0:16:37 Misty: Yeah, let's do it, let's do it.

0:16:39 Benjamin: Okay, this is "If We Shadows Have Offended" okay. Two, three, four. [singing and miming piano playing] Ba dum bum, ba da da da dum

0:16:49 Brennan: And you start belting out this real belty final number. Wonderful. What does Misty do in the days preceding her little holiday cast party and Christmas coming around the corner?

0:17:02 Siobhan: Well, the winter solstice is a big holiday for me. So I'm gonna decorate my house and also put my little saucer of milk by the fireplace to stop the faeries from stealing my children, as is traditional.

0:17:24 Brennan: Little saucer of milk placed out and a bunch of little Old World, Celtic, pagan things happening. And, yeah, it's beautifully set up. You also notice, by the way, I imagine that you had told Alissa to get rid of the mirror in your place.

0:17:42 Siobhan: Yeah, I think so.

0:17:43 Brennan: So the mirror is now gone.

0:17:43 Siobhan: It's in storage.

0:17:45 Brennan: Yes.

0:17:45 Siobhan: Along with all of my other weird shit that is in storage.

0:17:49 Brennan: From centuries of collecting crap. Wonderful. So you get ready for the lovely solstice.

0:17:57 Siobhan: I'd also like to check in with the faerie population that is around to see if there's any like scuttlebutt going around about what's happening with Titania just so that I can protect myself from...

0:18:11 Brennan: Give me an Investigation check.

0:18:15 Siobhan: Great. How about a 5? [Ally chuckles]

0:18:21 Brennan: You reach out to get some scuttlebutt. You don't hear jack shit about Titania.

0:18:26 Siobhan: Okay.

0:18:27 Brennan: You hear that the clock gnomes of Grand Central Station appear to be in a little bit of an uproar. Something's going on with them.

0:18:35 Siobhan: Oh. I'll head down to Grand Central Station, buy me some oysters.

0:18:40 Ally: Mm.

0:18:40 Emily: Mmm.

0:18:41 Sofia: Get a Junior's cheesecake to go for the party.

0:18:43 Emily: Ooh!

0:18:45 Brennan: Ooh, lovely. Cool, you head out. So this is like on the 21st, you go out and head out.

0:18:49 Sofia: Yeah.

0:18:50 Brennan: Or maybe you're like decorating that day and the next day you head over there. Cool. Just with everyone else, just seeing what you're doing. We're sort of in this little downtimey, Christmassy spot as you guys are doing this stuff. Sofia.

0:19:04 Emily: Okay, well I am going back and I'm closing up my house. I won't be staying there anymore, so I'm packing a bag. And then I also want to, I'm gonna get in touch with Jackson. But before I do, I would like to spy on my family.

0:19:24 Brennan: Okay. Yeah, absolutely.

0:19:25 Emily: So what I'd like to do, and you'll tell me if I can do this, is create an Unseen Servant. And then cast Gaze of Two Minds on it.

0:19:33 Brennan: [impressed] Holy shit.

0:19:35 Emily: And then send it into wherever my family's hanging out.

0:19:40 Brennan: Okie—

0:19:40 Emily: Specifically my brothers and possibly my father. I don't—

0:19:46 Siobhan: Did you take another level of warlock?

0:19:48 Emily: Yeah, bitch.

0:19:50 Sofia: You cannot stay away.

0:19:51 Emily: I love spells. Give me cards.

0:19:55 Brennan: I think this is totally legit.

0:19:57 Emily: I think it is 'cause it needs to be a willing humanoid, but then it says the servant can perform simple tasks that a human servant could do.

0:20:05 Brennan: So you backdoored your way into having Clairvoyance as a second level warlock.

0:20:11 Emily: [smugly] Maybe.

0:20:14 Ally: Yes, bitch.

0:20:16 Lou: Yes, bitch.

0:20:17 Ally: That's amazing.

0:20:18 Siobhan: Emily's been on Reddit for hours. How can I backdoor some shit?

0:20:21 Emily: Actually, I didn't even think of it till I sat down here. I got Gaze of Two Minds to try and convince Mario to be on my side, but then I was like, wait a second.

0:20:31 Brennan: Incredible. Yeah. You look at… So you--

0:20:37 Emily: So I'm on like a full sneak mission like--

0:20:40 Brennan: Give me a Stealth as you're just sort of on the street.

0:20:43 Emily: Okay. Oh my god. Okay. That's gonna be a 27.

0:20:48 Ally: Oo, fuck yeah.

0:20:49 Emily: La Gran Gata channels through me.

0:20:52 Brennan: You see, it is again, this bright, it's brick fucking cold out here. It is freezing.

0:21:00 Emily: I don't care, it's colder in here. [taps her heart]

0:21:04 Brennan: You summon… You see there is a [purring, gentle windchimes] and sort of coming out of being ethereal, La Gran Gata sort of does that cat rubbing and weaving in between your legs. And then wraps around one of your feet. You see that outside of the heat of battle last night, you see that La Gran Gata is kind of mirroring your emotional state.

0:21:30 Emily: Oh.

0:21:31 Brennan: But in that sort of comforting animal way. Like when a dog sees you being sad and it's like, I'll be sad too.

0:21:36 Emily: Oh, okay.

0:21:36 Brennan: Yeah.

0:21:37 Sofia: I gotta get you registered as a pet therapy animal so I can bring you on planes.

0:21:43 La Gran Gata: There is no TSA or flight attendant that can stop me.

0:21:47 Sofia: Ah, now that's the spirit. [La Gran Gata meows]

0:21:50 Sofia: Oh my goodness. So cute and yet so revered.

0:21:58 Brennan: You conjure up this little. You sort of use your ki and create this little messenger of wind and air elemental thing. And you lean against the brick wall of the alleyway. Your eyes go white and you go blind and your vision centers a little. And it whisks down this Staten Island street up into the chimney and down into the home of the Bicicletas. What is the duration of Unseen Servant?

0:22:35 Emily: It's one hour.

0:22:36 Brennan: One hour, cool. You see that the unseen servant goes down through the chimney. Your family is home. Your mother, your father is like in a seat, kind of like lounging in the living room. Mario and your other brothers are there. You see that Mario's going,

0:22:55 Mario: Look, I don't know what to tell you, all right? She knows. She knows what happened. She talked to me. She's in that same fakakta fucking, you know, monastery or whatever. She's learning karate or super karate, I don't know what it is. And…

0:23:21 Brennan: You can see that your mom is weeping in the kitchen. You see your dad goes,

0:23:27 Anthony: [lower voice than Mario, same accent] All right, so what? We was supposed to have the whole fucking family get put on Isabella's shit list 'cause we wouldn't fucking cooperate? Give me a fucking break. Dale was a piece of shit. He's dead. She'll get over it. She'll move on. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

0:23:46 Brennan: You see that your other brothers look around. Give me an Insight check as you're looking at them.

0:23:53 Emily: That's gonna be 15.

0:23:59 Brennan: Okay. Your family's on a spectrum. The answer you're looking for is a sloppier one than maybe you would have wanted. And as you look at your family, you see very clearly that your mom is extremely distraught. Your dad is pretty remorseless. Your brothers kind of are falling somewhere in between. Most of what you can see on an Insight check looking at these people, looking at your family. And your family's had beef forever. You know, like there's been lots of times where like people weren't talking to somebody else or weren't getting along or other stuff like that. It looks like Mario was at least partially telling the truth in terms of them fully allowing this nightmare to happen and not telling you. But none of them making the call, pulling the trigger, or even suggesting that this be what happened.

0:25:01 Emily: Okay.

0:25:02 Brennan: You see that your mother, Maria, turns around and says,

0:25:05 Maria: [higher voice, same accent, distraught] I don't understand why you gotta fucking talk about this in the house. You guys wanna have your business, you wanna go around and play fucking gangsta, that's great, why has it gotta happen in the living room? If you won't let me be a part of it, then why are you fucking talking about it in my house?

0:25:20 Brennan: You see Anthony turns around and goes,

0:25:22 Anthony: [yelling] Maria, look, you were the one that was the most upset out of all when fucking Dale showed up.

0:25:28 Brennan: And she was like,

0:25:28 Maria: 'Cause I thought, I didn't know him. And I wanted Sofia to be happy!

0:25:34 Brennan: You see that Mario goes,

0:25:34 Mario: Jesus fucking Christ. All right, look, we got problems, all right? Isabella Infierno's fucking dead. That means that whatever favor we were doing for Don Confetti, now we just are back to owing him again. So, I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do, but we're back in his pockets.

0:25:53 Brennan: You see that Anthony goes,

0:25:54 Anthony: Look, fucking Confetti is a stooge. He's a fucking puppet. We all know who the guy is calling the fucking shots. So, what he says is gonna go. And, you know, if we can just make it a little while longer, we're gonna be out of the fucking weeds on this one, all right?

0:26:17 Brennan: You see that Vincenzo looks over and goes,

0:26:21 Vincenzo: [thicker voice] So should we set a place for Sofie for Christmas or what's the deal?

0:26:26 Brennan: You see that Adriano looks over to him and says,

0:26:31 Adriano: [calmly] Of course, set a fucking place. What's your problem? Set a place. Who knows if she'll come, but set a fucking place.

0:26:37 Brennan: You see that your mom, Maria, says,

0:26:40 Maria: You know what, I'm going out. I'm gonna make a lasagna. Anyone who wants to be nice and decent in the house can fucking have it when it's ready.

0:26:50 Brennan: And you see that she puts on a big overcoat, slams the door, goes and begins to walk down the street out of the house. You see that your other brothers kind of all look sheepishly at each other. Your dad puts the volume on the game back up and the conversation dwindles.

0:27:09 Emily: Okay. I retract my Unseen Servant. I'm deciding if I wanna do one more thing with my unseen servant before I meet up with, before I talk to Jackson. I look through my backpack, which is now my home.

0:27:27 Brennan: [laughing, but also cringing a little] Oh.

0:27:27 Emily: I even have a little air freshener in there and everything. It's very homey. I decide, I have all, I have my wedding pictures. And I send the Unseen Servant to burn my house down.

0:27:38 Siobhan: What? Jesus Christ. Brennan wiggles his hand like the wind, miming the Servant going there.

0:27:43 Emily: [shrugging unrepentantly] I'm gonna need money. [Ally laughs in realization]

0:27:45 Siobhan: Oh my god, you are from Staten Island. [Brennan cackles]

0:27:48 Lou: Jesus.

0:27:50 Emily: And then I go and I have a really loud, obvious conversation at the deli counter at a supermarket where I know that there's closed circuit TV so I have an alibi.

0:28:05 Murph: This is diabolical!

0:28:07 Emily: It's my house.

0:28:08 Ally: What is an obvious deli conversation?

0:28:11 Brennan: You walk into a deli. You see a guy back there, he's like,

0:28:12 Deli Owner: hey, how's it going?

0:28:16 Sofia: Hi. I'm looking for soppressata.

0:28:19 Deli Owner: Yeah, how much you want?

0:28:23 Sofia: You only got one? I'm kinda looking to sample a couple different flavors. I got the afternoon so...

0:28:32 Deli Owner: All right.

0:28:33 Sofia: I'm making a charcuterie for Christmas and I really wanna get it right.

0:28:36 Brennan: You see, he takes a little piece of soppressata on a tiny little metal fork. You see like one of those ice cream-style like used fork things over it, a little metal can.

0:28:44 Deli Owner: Here, you can try this.

0:28:46 Sofia: I put it in my mouth and I just suck on it for as long as I can.

0:28:50 Brennan: He just stares at you, just grimly.

0:28:53 Sofia: Mm. Spicy.

0:28:58 Brennan: Cool. You're there for a nice, long chunk of time until eventually you hear, we're gonna actually cut over to Ricky real quick. Ricky, what do you do the next morning when you wake up?

0:29:13 Zac: I just really like protein-heavy breakfast.

0:29:17 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:29:18 Zac: Eggs and turkey bacon.

0:29:22 Ally: A rotisserie chicken.

0:29:23 Zac: Some rotisserie chicken just kinda shredded and sprinkled onto that and one piece of toast. Then, just go for a jog. Just maybe going kinda close to the Financial District, see what I see.

0:29:38 Brennan: Cool. You're heading close to the Financial District. You head off. As you're down there by the Financial District, you get all the way down to Battery Park, you look across the entire harbor and give me a Perception check.

0:29:54 Zac: I got a 21.

0:29:57 Brennan: [sniffs] You smell smoke coming from across the harbor.

0:29:58 Zac: I'm fucking dogging it.

0:30:01 Brennan: In the freezing cold day, you run all the way to the edge of the dock and just out and [grunting] swim past the Statue of Liberty. You hear a bunch of people say,

0:30:13 Bystanders: [yelling] Sir, sir, get out of the water!

0:30:16 Zac: I'm like cresting like a dolphin. [pretends to leap out of his chair]

0:30:18 Brennan: Yeah, yeah. You are swimming strong enough,

0:30:18 Lou: Jesus.

0:30:19 Brennan: You have now 20 Strength. Fully breaching the water with each stroke of your arms.

0:30:25 Emily: Are people taking pictures?

0:30:26 Brennan: Yeah.

0:30:27 Zac: Are people saying, to me, get out of the water?

0:30:29 Brennan: Yeah, exactly.

0:30:29 Zac: Oh okay.

0:30:30 Brennan: Yeah.

0:30:30 Bystander: Sir!

0:30:30 Brennan: Yeah.

0:30:31 Ricky: Someone needs me.

0:30:34 Brennan: You arrive… At a certain point, you get to the other side and you see in a beam of light, Ox, wagging his tail on the other side of the harbor. [panting]

0:30:42 Zac: Can I make a Perception check?

0:30:43 Brennan: Yeah, make a Perception check.

0:30:46 Zac: Okay, 25?

0:30:47 Brennan: It's Ox. He's back. He's come back and he's made of light. He says,

0:30:51 Ox: Ricky, Ricky, I was dead. But I came back to life now. You can never kill hope. Hope never dies.

0:30:58 Ricky: You can never kill it.

0:31:00 Brennan: You see, poom, jump on the thing. Run over. You see, I don't think you've ever been to Sofia's home. But what you know of Sofia's home is here, burning in front of you.

0:31:14 Zac: I save it, I have to save the stuff. I look for a hose.

0:31:20 Brennan: Cool, you call 911.

0:31:20 Zac: Call 911. [sirens] Do the whole...

0:31:23 Brennan: A bunch of firefighters show up and go,

0:31:25 Firefighter: Jesus Christ, you're soaking wet. The water is freezing to you.

0:31:29 Ricky: There's no time. The fire will warm me. [Emily laughing]

0:31:34 Zac: I'm just like messing with like a little garden hose.

0:31:37 Brennan: [rushing water] You help 'em put the fire out. Cool. Go ahead and give me a, just give me a raw Athletics check to try and put the fire out.

0:31:47 Zac: Come on. 20… 23. Emily is truly losing it at this point.

0:31:51 Brennan: Amazing. Incredible. The home is ruined, but you save it from collapsing. You stop the fire from spreading anywhere else. Go ahead and give me an Investigation check with advantage if you'd be so kind. You can make one for Ox as well.

0:32:14 Zac: Okay. So, one for me and then one for Ox? Both at advantage or?

0:32:19 Brennan: Both at advantage 'cause you're investigating a fire, it's what you do.

0:32:21 Zac: Okay, Investigation. So that's a 17. And that's way less. And then a 10. So, 17.

0:32:31 Brennan: Ricky, you look around the burned out house. As you are, you see the firefighters come through and they say, you See some like New York One cameras pull up and one of them is outside going,

0:32:41 Reporter: You know, if it hadn't been for Ricky Matsui swimming from Manhattan to Staten Island in a record-breaking two and a half minutes, we just wouldn't have gotten here in time to stop the fire from spreading.

0:32:51 Ricky: Anyone could've done that. Anyone could've swam that.

0:32:54 Brennan: You see him hold the camera to you.

0:32:56 Reporter: Wow, two fires put out in one month. Ricky, you don't even work in this borough.

0:33:04 Ricky: Right. Well, I'm just doing what anyone would've done.

0:33:07 Reporter: Nobody would've swam from Manhattan to Staten Island. Nobody would've swam from Manhattan to Staten Island. That is bordering on superheroic. You are not wearing a jacket and ice is actively forming in your hair and I guess not on your skin 'cause it's completely hairless and just chiseled as stone like a statue.

0:33:27 Ricky: I'll get warmed up later. I'm gonna treat myself to just like a nice cocoa after this. What kind of camera is that?

0:33:34 Reporter: Cut, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it.

0:33:37 Brennan: Investigating the house with Ox, you look around. You see a lot of photos are missing, but there are some family photos still here. And you see Sofia. You're like, this is Sofia's house. And as you're here, you see like in the closet and some places that there are big like empty swathes as though somebody like packed to leave this place.

0:34:07 Zac: I just text Sofia a picture of just a selfie, me in her burned down house, but also going… Like. [makes a confused face, with his hand on his chin]

0:34:17 Brennan: Sofia, on the way to Jackson's, you get that text.

0:34:21 Sofia: Oh my god. What happened?

0:34:25 Ricky: Seems like someone packed up your stuff and then tried to burn down your house?

0:34:30 Emily: I text him and I'm like,

0:34:30 Sofia: Truthfully, I left my house. I wasn't planning on being there for the holidays. So, I don't know what happened. But we'll talk in person.

0:34:45 Ricky: Okay.

0:34:47 Brennan: Wonderful. So.

0:34:48 Zac: Truly.

0:34:51 Murph: Insurance fraud.

0:34:52 Ally: Committed full insurance fraud. “Truthfully, I don't know what happened.”

0:34:56 Brennan: You're on the way to the monastery. Kugrash, we cut over to you. You wake up in your lovely dog bed. You see Wally comes out and he goes,

0:35:03 Wally: Morning, Dad, how's it going?

0:35:05 Kugrash: Hey, boy, Wally, how you doing this morning?

0:35:07 Wally: I made breakfast.

0:35:08 Kugrash: This is fucking awesome, I live in a house now.

0:35:11 Brennan: You see that it's just a bunch of string cheese on a plate.

0:35:14 Kugrash: Yeah, hell yeah, man. Absolutely.

0:35:17 Zac: Like cut up.

0:35:19 Brennan: Yeah, finely cut up, chopped. And then they got cooked hot dogs, so it's just hot little cylinders. It's cooked hot dog and little bits of string cheese.

0:35:26 Kugrash: You're the fucking sweetest boy. I didn't even hear you do that.

0:35:28 Wally: Oh, string dog, yeah.

0:35:28 Kugrash: Yeah, string dogs. Are you eating string dogs too, Wally?

0:35:32 Wally: Yeah, this is for me. That's what I eat.

0:35:34 Kugrash: This is what you eat every morning?

0:35:35 Wally: Every morning for breakfast.

0:35:36 Kugrash: That's insane, Wally.

0:35:38 Wally: I don't get a whole lot of what cooking is, but I know that you can put a hot dog in a microwave. But you shouldn't put tinfoil in there.

0:35:45 Kugrash: No, you shouldn't.

0:35:47 Wally: Nope, no way.

0:35:48 Kugrash: Wally, you wanna watch Christmas movies today?

0:35:51 Wally: [crying] Yeah. Can we watch the best Christmas movie of all time?

0:35:56 Kugrash: What is that?

0:35:57 Wally: Freaking "Die Hard", dude.

0:35:58 Kugrash: Hell yeah, man.

0:35:59 Wally: I love John McClane because he loves his wife.

0:36:03 Kugrash: Yeah.

0:36:05 Wally: He just wants to be with her.

0:36:06 Kugrash: Yeah. What year did "Die Hard" come out? I'm trying to remember if I've seen "Die Hard" or not. I've been a rat for a long time.

0:36:12 Brennan: "Die Hard" came out in the 80s, so you saw "Die Hard" right before.

0:36:15 Kugrash: Oh, dude, "Die Hard" is the last movie I've seen, man. I'll watch it again.

0:36:19 Brennan: Cool. You guys sit on his couch, eating hot dogs and string cheese and watching "Die Hard". It gets to the end—

0:36:24 Kugrash: This fucking rules, Wally.

0:36:26 Brennan: He goes there and he goes,

0:36:26 Wally: Well, John McClane's so smart, he duct taped that gun to his back.

0:36:31 Kugrash: Yeah.

0:36:32 Wally: I like it, you know, I love the movie, even with the swear words in it.

0:36:37 Kugrash: Yeah.

0:36:37 Wally: Yeah, it's great. [sighs] Poor Professor Snape. He falls down at the end.

0:36:46 Kugrash: Yeah, well he's a bad guy in this movie.

0:36:48 Wally: What?

0:36:48 Kugrash: Yeah. You watched the movie right, Wally?

0:36:51 Wally: I like the part where he jumped across the window. But I hate it when he gets the glass in his foot.

0:36:55 Kugrash: Yeah, that's tough, man.

0:36:57 Wally: I would hate that. You're supposed to wear shoes all the time. I went barefoot into the subways one time and they yelled at me. They said, you gotta wear shoes.

0:37:04 Kugrash: Yeah. You're a tough guy though, Wally. Being able to walk around in the subway barefoot.

0:37:08 Wally: Yeah, well it did hurt my feet real bad, 'cause I forgot, but never again, so. That's me. I make a mistake one time and I get yelled at and then I don't do it again.

0:37:20 Kugrash: That's good, that's good.

0:37:23 Wally: Well, you want to watch "Die Hard" again?

0:37:27 Kugrash: Why don't we watch, is there a newer Christmas movie? I haven't watched movies in a long time. I've been living in a tunnel.

0:37:33 Wally: Yeah, there's a bunch of other "Die Hards".

0:37:35 Kugrash: Yeah, let's watch "Die Hard 2".

0:37:39 Brennan: He puts on "Die Hard 2". You guys just spend the day watching movies.

0:37:44 Kugrash: Wally, what are your plans for the holidays? What are you...

0:37:49 Wally: Oh. Well. Normally, what I do is I do a little Christmas Eve here by myself,

0:37:52 Kugrash: Okay.

0:37:56 Wally: But then I go out on Christmas Day over to Forest Hills and I have like a lunch, or an early Christmas dinner with David. David needs to know about you, Dad.

0:38:10 Kugrash: I don't know if David would be super happy about this, Wally. 'Cause you know David. He's kind of a ball-buster, right? Wally stares uncomprehendingly.

0:38:20 Kugrash: He might be mad about this.

0:38:23 Wally: Why?

0:38:25 Kugrash: Well, you're a little kinder than… David has… You know how I did bad things and David's mad at me about it?

0:38:33 Wally: Yeah.

0:38:33 Kugrash: I think it might kinda ruin his Christmas if he saw me.

0:38:39 Wally: But what about the rest of your family and everybody?

0:38:44 Kugrash: Okay. Wally, how about this? Christmas Eve, me and you, we watch "Die Hard 3". Assuming there's a "Die Hard 3".

0:38:52 Wally: Yeah!

0:38:52 Kugrash: We'll watch "Die Hard 3" me and you. Christmas,

0:38:55 Murph: And then I turn into a dog.

0:38:59 Wally: Aw!

0:39:00 Kugrash: Yeah, we go to David's like this and we have a little secret, all right? This is a game, all right? This is "Die Hard". Fucking secret mission, you and I are fucking partner cops, okay? The secret is we pretend—

0:39:10 Wally: Are you a different person or are you—

0:39:14 Murph: I come back to be, okay, I come back to being a rat.

0:39:19 Kugrash: I am a rat.

0:39:19 Wally: Okay.

0:39:21 Kugrash: I am your dad, the rat. I can also turn into other animals. Just like twice a day though. I know that's kinda confusing. We're gonna go to David's. I'm gonna be a dog. I'm your new dog that you just adopted, okay?

0:39:34 Wally: So where's my dad?

0:39:36 Kugrash: I'm your dad.

0:39:36 Wally: Okay.

0:39:38 Kugrash: Yeah. But you know how I turned into a rat?

0:39:40 Wally: Oh, we're gonna tell a lie.

0:39:40 Kugrash: Yes.

0:39:42 Wally: On Christmas.

0:39:45 Kugrash: Sometimes, Wally, yeah, sometimes you gotta tell lies to not ruin Christmas.

0:39:50 Wally: Okay.

0:39:51 Kugrash: Your brother doesn't like me very much, Wally.

0:39:52 Wally: How about this? I'm not good at lying so I'll show up, you tell 'em you're my dog, and then that way everybody has a merry Christmas.

0:40:02 Kugrash: I will have someone else show up and say that I'm your dog. This is convoluted. I have a feeling it's gonna blow up in our face. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that.

0:40:16 Wally: Okay.

0:40:17 Kugrash: Fuck me.

0:40:18 Wally: Merry Christmas.

0:40:19 Kugrash: Fuck me.

0:40:20 Wally: I like in this part because Scar is in this movie.

0:40:24 Kugrash: Yeah.

0:40:24 Wally: From "The Lion King".

0:40:25 Kugrash: Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, what is "The Lion King"?

0:40:29 Wally: Oh my god!

0:40:30 Brennan: And he rushes over. You have a wonderful day watching movies with Wally. [cast laughs]

0:40:38 Murph: So fucked.

0:40:40 Brennan: Cool. Pete, you get over to 53V3N's place. He's got like a bunch of servers at his place. He's got like a big sort of like refrigerated computer room. This is sort of like a weird, you know, like tech-bro, multi-level penthouse apartment. He looks around he goes, 53V3N: All right. Pete, good to see you, my man.

0:41:00 Pete: Good to see you too. 53V3N: : So let's go ahead and re-up, shall we?

0:41:05 Pete: Yeah, let's do it.

0:41:07 Brennan: He starts counting his stuff up for you. Make a Arcana check for me.

0:41:18 Ally: Eh. 12.

0:41:21 Brennan: 12, cool. He starts like parceling out the drugs for you. And you start to sense coming into the Vox Phantasma powers, you sense that there are like trace bits of stuff that you could detect on these different drugs if you wanted to.

0:41:42 Ally: Oo yeah, could I roll for like Insight or—

0:41:44 Brennan: Yeah, you can roll for Insight and you can roll with advan… If you wanna like cast Detect Magic or something you can totally roll with advantage as well.

0:41:52 Ally: Yes, that’s exactly what I want to do. Yeah, great.

0:41:52 Siobhan: Oh.

0:41:54 Murph: Not good.

0:41:55 Ally: 6.

0:41:56 Brennan: 6 is the highest you get?

0:41:56 Ally: Mm-hmm.

0:41:58 Brennan: Cool. Yeah, he does some drugs out for you, puts them in your bag. He goes, 53V3N: Great. You're looking good, man. Have you been like working out or something?

0:42:09 Pete: Yeah, I actually have, thanks for noticing. What about you? Who are you working with now? What's going on with everything?

0:42:15 Brennan: He's like, well, he's like, 53V3N: First of all, that $800 is now $812, thank you, Bitcoin.

0:42:23 Pete: Oh great, man, yeah. It's a great thing you bought 1/29 of one of those. 53V3N: Yeah, 1/29 of a bitcoin.

0:42:28 Pete: Mm-hmm. That's great. 53V3N: And then you fold that. And then you fold that, and eventually you get to one full bitcoin.

0:42:34 Pete: Cool. 53V3N: You're with me on this, right?

0:42:36 Pete: Yeah, man, look yeah, maybe one day I'll buy like Ethereum or fucking whatever you're always telling me about. 53V3N: It's about diversity, right? Because again, it's layers upon layers, right? It's systems that exist on top of each other.

0:42:48 Pete: Cool. 53V3N: And if you're not calculating how these systems interact, you know, you're playing chess two-dimensionally when you need to be playing it three-dimensionally, and honestly four-dimensionally if you can.

0:42:57 Pete: Great. 53V3N: Cool.

0:42:58 Pete: Cool. 53V3N: Yeah.

0:42:59 Pete: Yeah, maybe I'll take two hours and set up a wallet for myself one day. 53V3N: Are you doing a bit or are you being serious?

0:43:07 Pete: I'm not doing a bit, I'm not. Maybe I will set aside a whole afternoon and get myself a bitcoin. 53V3N: Is this new ink on your fingers by the way?

0:43:14 Pete: Yeah. 53V3N: Okay. 'Cause that does draw attention, right? 'Cause we're trying to not fit the profile. You know what I mean?

0:43:20 Pete: Look, everyone has tattoos now, man. Look around. Our age group... 53V3N: I don't have tattoos.

0:43:24 Pete: It's weird for someone in our age group not to have tattoos. Think about that. 53V3N: That tattoos are an archaic, inefficient form of bio-hacking. Tell you what I do have, I have a dopamine receptor lodged in here, right? And I have an IV that goes to my Soylent drip.

0:43:41 Pete: That's great. That's great. 53V3N: I don't need to eat. Do you know how much I save on dentist bills by not having to eat?

0:43:50 Pete: I don't, man. Look, you did it, you hacked the system. You won and this is what winning looks like.

0:43:57 Brennan: : He's in a giant, buzzing dark room full of servers. 53V3N: I know, dude, I won.

0:44:01 Pete: That's so sick. [rushing computer fans, beeping] 53V3N: This is winning. This is the American dream right here. I'm in a dark room full of servers and I am getting rich.

0:44:08 Pete: Wow. That's so sick. Hey, you know what, I was gonna ask you, I was asking everybody, but have you ever talked to anyone named Bob Moses? You know that guy? He's like a business dude.

0:44:20 Brennan: He says, 53V3N: Bob Moses. Yeah, he's like, yeah that name's a little bit familiar. I had to rework some stuff 'cause one of our groups got snagged. Some of where we were recollecting the heroin from got snagged. There was a bunch of, he's like, he goes like, yeah, he's like, this is the problem with trying to do business with like backwards countries, 'cause a lot of the people that were doing those fucking, that were growing the heroin for us, they were like trying to smuggle some people out of the country, stupidly, and they got caught and a bunch of them got killed.

0:44:51 Pete: Fuck. 53V3N: But that's not our problem, right?

0:44:53 Pete: Nightmare. Okay, yeah. So, then you met Bob Moses that way? 53V3N: No. That name got floated to me through somebody 'cause now we have a different connect with the people that we're getting coke from. So...

0:45:06 Ally: Can I roll Investigate on him?

0:45:10 Brennan: You wanna do Insight?

0:45:10 Ally: Or Insight, yeah.

0:45:10 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

0:45:12 Ally: Fucking come on, man. 9.

0:45:18 Brennan: He seems to be telling the truth.

0:45:20 Ally: All right, cool cool.

0:45:21 Brennan: He's like, oh he's like, but he's like, very peripheral. 53V3N: I heard that name. That name got floated on like one of the forums I'm on.

0:45:31 Pete: He's a big coke guy. 53V3N: Really?

0:45:35 Brennan: And he starts to scan through some stuff on his computer. He's like, 53V3N: Should I be worried about this dude? Is he trying to muscle in?

0:45:40 Pete: I don't think so. No, I think he runs a completely different game that we have nothing to do with, but— 53V3N: What kind of game?

0:45:46 Pete: He does a lot of weird stuff with young people. 53V3N: Hey, young people is our market. Young people are our market.

0:45:57 Pete: Yeah, true. 53V3N: You do sell to high schoolers, right?

0:46:01 Pete: Yeah, man. Unfortunately, I do.

0:46:05 Brennan: What's going on with Pete as he's like saying this stuff?

0:46:07 Ally: I'm really starting to see my life through a new lens now that I'm sober. I'm like,

0:46:11 Pete: Yeah, man, I fucking sell to a lot of high schoolers. But they're rich. Anyway, no... 53V3N: And you're not just selling them weed, right? 'Cause I know they're gonna want weed, but you can push the pills. You can push the heroin, you can push the coke, you can push all that stuff.

0:46:27 Ally: I disassociate fully.

0:46:30 Pete: Cool, man, cool cool cool, yeah. 53V3N: Okay, great. So, focusing back in. If you want me to look out for this guy, I can see what I can find on the web.

0:46:39 Pete: Yeah, I would love it. Please, please, please. 53V3N: Okay.

0:46:42 Pete: Use your databases and stuff like that. I would love it. 53V3N: What do you think a database is?

0:46:46 Pete: JSTOR. 53V3N: Okay. I'm gonna take care of this. Keep on the lookout, you're strapping, right, you got heat?

0:46:52 Pete: I always got heat. 53V3N: Okay, good. He's like, because remember, tech is tech, right? 'Cause we can hack here on the computer and we can hack in real life.

0:47:01 Brennan: And he takes a full golden AK-47 out from under his desk.

0:47:05 Pete: God, man, it's insane that you don't have an Instagram. Can I just say? Your whole thing would go crazy. 53V3N: Oh yeah, let me get an Instagram. Hey, why don't I just email the FBI?

0:47:14 Pete: I don't want another— where you saw that I used my fingerprint on my phone. I don’t want another argument. 53V3N: [yelling] Social media is voluntary panopticon.

0:47:23 Pete: Okay, thank you, thank you, 53V3N. 53V3N: Okay.

0:47:26 Brennan: Click click click. He gets back on the computer. Cool. You leave 53V3N's place, possibly rattled by some of the--

0:47:35 Ally: Yeah, I'm really like, high schoolers.

0:47:42 Brennan: And you dip back out. Sofia, you make your way over to, I assume you're going to the monastery, right?

0:47:49 Emily: Yeah. I'm meeting up with Jackson.

0:47:52 Brennan: You meet up with Jackson. You go up the never-ending fire escape and arrive at the monastery in the clouds where everything is sidewalk.

0:48:00 Emily: I have my backpack.

0:48:01 Brennan: You see Jackson who has mostly been like commanding you to like carry stuff and punch stuff and jump over stuff. You see that he's waiting at the gates of the monastery up on the cloud. And you see he's got a blanket and a pillow under his arm and a towel. And as you go up, you've only been working with him for a few days. He wordlessly, as you get to the top, moves in, and puts you in that hug that gets like very still the moment that—

0:48:28 Emily: I think I just dead fish it 'cause I don't know how to take it right now.

0:48:32 Brennan: He leaves there for a second. He pulls back and you see he's got tear lines on his face but is otherwise completely stone and he goes,

0:48:42 Jackson: Come on, we got a room set up.

0:48:44 Sofia: How'd you know?

0:48:47 Jackson: It's my business to know.

0:48:49 Sofia: I was planning on just like leaving the island.

0:48:53 Jackson: We're not technically on Staten Island anymore.

0:48:56 Sofia: Where are we?

0:48:57 Jackson: Well, I think about two miles up. The zoning changes.

0:49:02 Sofia: Oh. Okay, good enough for me. Yeah, I'll take that room. It's better than living out of my backpack.

0:49:08 Emily: I empty my backpack.

0:49:11 Brennan: Yeah, you see that he takes you to like a little room in the monastery and it's very spartan. You know, the walls, ceiling, and floor are all sidewalk. There's a thin little mattress, some blankets. He has like the blanket in it but it has like sheets on it already. There's like a little wash basin and a place to put some of your stuff and that's about it.

0:49:33 Emily: Yeah. I mean, I take out, I have three pairs of black pants, three pairs of black shirts. I fold 'em. Get some water on my face.

0:49:47 Brennan: You see he says… He gives you a moment to like settle yourself up. When you come back out of the hallway, he looks at you and says,

0:50:00 Jackson: Uh. Follow me.

0:50:10 Sofia: Okay.

0:50:11 Brennan: He goes with you to Brooklyn. And he stops at a little, you see he's got like a little Mets windbreaker on and little Mets hat. Stops at a little bodega. You look inside and see La Gran Gata sort of peer out at you from the bodega and sort of. Sofia blows a kiss to La Gran Gata, who purrs gently at her.

0:50:39 Brennan: And you see that he goes to buy some flowers. And he sort of looks over to you and says,

0:50:49 Jackson: If you wanna grab something, it's on me.

0:50:52 Emily: Okay. I grab a Sky Bar.

0:50:55 Brennan: Oh, you grab a Sky Bar. He says,

0:50:56 Jackson: You wanna get some flowers too?

0:51:00 Sofia: Are we going to a graveyard? Jackson nods.

0:51:03 Sofia: Are we going to whose grave I think that we're going to? Jackson nods again.

0:51:08 Emily: Okay. I grab another Sky Bar. He loved Sky Bars.

0:51:14 Brennan: You see, he goes,

0:51:14 Jackson: Yeah, that kid was a freak for Sky Bars.

0:51:20 Brennan: You guys end up at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn. It's a cemetery so massive that, as you walk into the middle of it, the city actually fades away and you're just looking at the green hills, the old moss, and lichen-covered tombstones. Trees, it's beautiful here. You walk up, see that Jackson, who again, doesn't wear sadness in his body really. He's just like the most solid guy. Puts, you know has like this like chalk and dust-covered hands and puts the flowers down at the grave. And looks up at you and respectfully walks a little distance away over like to a nearby tree and kind of leans against it, facing a little bit away from you and starts smoking a cigarette.

0:52:20 Emily: Oh my god. Well. I think I'm just gonna unwrap one of the Sky Bars and kinda mush it into the ground. [laughing] And then eat my Sky Bar. Lou sighs gustily.

0:52:36 Brennan: Incredible.

0:52:38 Emily: And I'm just gonna, think I'm not, I'm just gonna say,

0:52:41 Sofia: Dale, I'm not ready for words. But I did burn down the home that we made together. So, I guess that's just kind of like today's bulletin.

0:53:01 Emily: [laughing] And then I silently eat my bar.

0:53:04 Murph: You have had an insane day.

0:53:06 Ally: Yeah.

0:53:08 Brennan: Big day. Yeah, you look at this point like--

0:53:12 Emily: I'm also on day one of mourning my husband's death now.

0:53:16 Murph: Yes, yes, yes.

0:53:18 Brennan: After a few minutes, you finish your Sky Bar. Jackson chooses this moment to come back over. He goes...

0:53:26 Sofia: He was a good student? He was one of your students, right?

0:53:30 Jackson: Second only to Method Man. He was one of the best.

0:53:35 Sofia: I can't believe I never knew that about him. I wish I had had time to be mad at him for not telling me that, about this other secret life.

0:53:44 Brennan: He looks at you and goes,

0:53:44 Jackson: I mean, you can talk to Kingston about the dangers of bringing a loved one into the Unsleeping City. It doesn't solve all your problems. And I know that it's easy to resent, but you gotta know that neither of those choices is pretty.

0:54:04 Sofia: Yeah. No, I get it. But does this mean that I didn't know him as well as I thought I did?

0:54:10 Jackson: No. No. Look, Dale Lee was [sighs] one of the finest monks we've ever had in the Order of the Concrete Fist. And more than that, a decent man. He was good to his heart. He was a good kid. You knew the real Dale Lee. He was, yeah, I mean, could he break stone with his fists and jump into the sky and bust the buttons off of his short sleeve button-up? Yeah, he could do it.

0:54:44 Sofia: Oh my god. That sounds so hot.

0:54:46 Jackson: He was a good-looking man. I'm not gonna sit here and… Look, I'm secure enough in myself, he was a good-looking guy.

0:54:52 Sofia: Yeah, he was very attractive.

0:54:53 Brennan: You see he says,

0:54:53 Jackson: But he was the guy you knew. He was a fucking dork. The guy was a mild-mannered accountant through and through. I have never seen him more excited than when I told him that the monastery wasn't affiliated as a religious organization. He went through the roof. He went through years of our taxes and got us, I mean, he got the whole mess hall. And the reason we got those new steam tables, that's 'cause he came in and he did that for us.

0:55:20 Sofia: Of course he did. [sighs]

0:55:24 Jackson: He was, you know, he was a piece of work. Kind to a fault. I mean, yeah, was he a little bit of a goober? Yeah, I mean he gave me a frigging Visa gift card when he graduated.

0:55:36 Sofia: All right, well this is my husband we're talking about so I don't wanna have to Hellish Rebuke you.

0:55:41 Jackson: No. I'll back off.

0:55:44 Sofia: Okay.

0:55:45 Brennan: He goes like, he says,

0:55:45 Jackson: Dale was a… Dale was, you know, in the way that… No, I've had lots of students and I treasure all of them. Dale was like family.

0:56:02 Sofia: Yeah.

0:56:03 Jackson: And I'm so sorry for your loss.

0:56:06 Sofia: It's okay. It's just weird because I grieved it one way and now I'm grieving it through a different scope. But it's fine. I'm glad that I now can kinda use this opportunity to get to know this whole other side of him that I didn't know. So, that's nice. I do have one square on my Sky Bar left. Did you want some? I'm so sorry I was rude, I didn't offer any.

0:56:30 Jackson: Yeah, let me get a hit of that. That'd be great.

0:56:31 Sofia: Okay, yeah.

0:56:32 Brennan: You see he takes it and chews on it. He's like,

0:56:35 Jackson: Do you need more time or you wanna start heading back?

0:56:39 Sofia: Nah, let's head back.

0:56:41 Brennan: You guys start to walk out of the cemetery. You see, he goes,

0:56:42 Jackson: Yeah. There was a time where we thought Dale was gonna be the, I don't know, it doesn't matter.

0:56:55 Sofia: The what? No, of course it matters. I wanna hear any story about him at this point, obviously.

0:57:00 Brennan: He goes back with you and he says, as you guys go from Green-Wood, you get back to Battery Park and as you're crossing the ferry, you're just taking the ferry, you're both like looking over the Statue of Liberty as you pass by it going back to Staten Island. You see he goes, [somber piano music]

0:57:22 Jackson: [sighs] The Order of the Concrete Fist was founded early in the history of New York City. And our roots go all the way back to ancient masters, the Shaolin Temple, the forms we practice here were developed for the role that New York plays in the magical cosmology, not only of America, but the world. Our mantra is, at its root, and we have several, but the most significant and most important one is it is what it is.

0:57:59 Sofia: I know, sometimes I hear that in my head.

0:58:05 Jackson: This place,

0:58:05 Brennan: And you can see the Statue of Liberty raising her lamp as you pass by,

0:58:07 Jackson: Is a doorway, for so many people, to the American dream. And so many people came here with that dream in their heart. And the relationship of this city to all of what this larger country means has always been about… You know, America's about dreams. And I don't say that lovingly. I mean, there's a certain degree of this place that's based on delusion and imagery and, you know. I'm gonna make something of myself. I'm gonna be what no one said I can be. And you know, I'll pull myself up by my bootstraps. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, that's fucking impossible. And that metaphor's lost on most people. New York and what the Order of the Concrete Fist represents, we're supposed to be the fly in that ointment. You understand? Things are not always what you want them to be. And they're not always what you dream that they are. Things are what they are. And it is what it is. And...

0:59:32 Sofia: Yeah, I guess I definitely feel that way these days.

0:59:38 Jackson: In any case, what we represent, our role here in the city, is to be that reminder to a place that is often filled with lies and illusions. That eventually, the smoke and mirrors fades away and you hit the brick. That there is something real. And it needs to be acknowledged and respected. That's why we have often stood to protect this place against those things that would encroach from the Dream Realm. There are stories at the founding of the order, about a day when something would come through from the other side. And the order would fall unless the chosen one were to appear. That was supposed to be Dale. Sofia nods, looking devastated.

1:00:36 Jackson: He found where the spirits congregate of our order that are supposed to impart powers of the chosen one. And when he got there, they weren't there. So, I don't know how much hope there is. But hey, [shrugs] it is what it is.

1:01:05 Emily: I crack a Corona. Actually a Coronita.

1:01:06 Ally: I was going to say a Coronita!

1:01:08 Emily: 'Cause I'm cutting back.

1:01:12 Ally: It's like this big. [holds their fingers about a hand’s width apart] Sofia cracks her Coronita and takes a little sip.

1:01:16 Brennan: Cool. So, anyone else on that day of the 21st up to any business before going to the clock gnomes of...

1:01:30 Ally: I would love to lift with Ricky.

1:01:32 Zac: Yeah. I… [laughs] Yeah, for my second workout of the day,

1:01:36 Ally: Great.

1:01:40 Zac: I meet up with Peter.

1:01:40 Ally: I went to the pool and everyone was really weird about the locker rooms and I was like, fuck, and then I texted you.

1:01:48 Zac: I was like typing up just like a workout schedule and some macro stuff for Pete.

1:01:57 Ally: Fuck yeah.

1:01:59 Brennan: Oh, so you're doing some macro, you're doing some lifting. Hell yah, you guys get to the gym. Pete, go ahead and give me a Strength check and a Constitution check.

1:02:07 Ally: Great, Strength. Is, where is Strength? Oh, there it is, 16.

1:02:13 Brennan: Cool.

1:02:14 Ally: Constitution.

1:02:14 Brennan: Constitution.

1:02:17 Ally: Great, 10.

1:02:17 Brennan: 10.

1:02:19 Zac: Are these saving throws?

1:02:19 Brennan: These are saving throws.

1:02:20 Zac: Can you add your Charisma? My Charisma?

1:02:22 Brennan: Oh yeah, so you beat, plus 3.

1:02:23 Zac: Plus 3.

1:02:24 Ally: 13.

1:02:25 Brennan: So you see that Pete is starting to, you actually are getting the strength. The testosterone is doing its work.

1:02:30 Ally: Yeah.

1:02:32 Brennan: But you're like fading fast. And then Ricky, how does your aura manifest in this moment?

1:02:37 Ricky: Push it, push it. Push it. You got this, you got this. Ricky has his hands on the chest bar while Pete lifts.

1:02:42 Ally: My hands are shaking so heavily.

1:02:44 Ricky: I'm not helping, I’m not helping, I'm not even helping.

1:02:47 Pete: Aah!

1:02:49 Brennan: Incredible.

1:02:51 Ricky: Pain is weakliness leaving the body.

1:02:53 Pete: Oh great, isn't that like the Army's slogan?

1:02:57 Ricky: Probably, I just heard it at cross country in middle school.

1:02:59 Pete: Oh cool. Middle school?

1:03:02 Brennan: You guys work out that day. That night, Pete, you roll back Kingston. You have a lovely day back at work.

1:03:10 Lou: I'm sure.

1:03:12 Brennan: You're feeling great, man. You see that that troll comes back over, face freshly covered with warts.

1:03:17 Troll: Man, I'm telling you, it worked out great.

1:03:19 Kingston: Looks good.

1:03:20 Troll: Thank you, man, appreciate it. This one's about to bust, so I'm looking good.

1:03:24 Kingston: Okay. Hey, you let me know when that happens. Send me a picture. Take a, what do these kids tell you?

1:03:29 Troll: Oh yeah, my kids do the same. My kids, they're always running around at the bottom of the Hudson River, they're like snapping these selfie, I'm like—

1:03:35 Kingston: Yeah, send me one of them. Send me a Snapchat.

1:03:37 Troll: I'll do it. I try to do it on my computer that my kid set up a home computer for me.         So I'll try to do it on that.

1:03:44 Brennan: You get back to your apartment that night. Pete, you're back at Kingston's that way. You're like sore from lifting with Ricky that night.

1:03:52 Pete: Ow.

1:03:53 Kingston: You good, Pete?

1:03:55 Pete: Yeah, I'm fine.

1:03:56 Kingston: Swimming take it outta you?

1:03:57 Pete: I didn't even swim. I went and worked out with Ricky.

1:03:59 Kingston: Ooh.

1:04:01 Pete: He's so strong.

1:04:02 Kingston: He's very strong.

1:04:03 Pete: It made me hate him.

1:04:07 Kingston: I see that, I see that. Well, if you want some protein, I'll cook up some chicken.

1:04:14 Pete: I would love that.

1:04:15 Kingston: Yeah, I mean, well I'm sure… You don't need more protein. Just take two Advil.

1:04:20 Pete: Oh, you're right, great, great plan.

1:04:23 Brennan: Hell yes. Cool. The next day, Misty, you're gonna head over to Grand Central, 'cause you've heard there might be a little bit of trouble. Would you contact anyone else to come with you or?

1:04:35 Siobhan: Yeah, I'd probably call Kingston.

1:04:37 Brennan: Cool.

1:04:37 Siobhan: If he's available.

1:04:38 Brennan: Rad.

1:04:40 Siobhan: Yeah, I feel like that makes the most sense for me to call, maybe Kingston calls other people, but...

1:04:47 Brennan: Yeah.

1:04:47 Siobhan: Misty's old school.

1:04:48 Lou: Yeah, I guess I'll,

1:04:48 Kingston: Hey, everybody. We're gonna run over. Supposedly some unhappy gnomes at Grand Central. I'll let you know if it's a bigger thing.

1:04:58 Misty: Breakfast's on me.

1:04:58 Kingston: Yes.

1:05:00 Misty: There's a Jones Coffee in there that does great espresso.

1:05:04 Murph: At this point, I've watched "Die Hard" 10 times so I'm down to get out of the house.

1:05:08 Emily: I show up to any invitation.

1:05:10 Murph: I'm coming, why not?

1:05:11 Brennan: Cool. So you head out that day. So yeah, you guys get to the big Grand Central food court. You're having, what's Misty treating everybody to in the food court there?

1:05:21 Siobhan: I'm sort of taking everybody on the grand tour. So I'm like, oh, this is the best thing at this place. You gotta get this particular type of sushi at the sushi place but then over at Junior's, you have to get like this very specific type of like, everything is off menu. Everything is just because I've lived there for so fucking long, I know exactly what is good at every—

1:05:44 Murph: Can I search through their trash to see what I eat? Yeah. Cool, that's a 15 on my Investigate.

1:05:51 Brennan: Hell yes. You find some great old crusty bagels.

1:05:55 Murph: Nice.

1:05:56 Brennan: You also see, yeah. The sushi place throws out a lot of its fish that it's bad.

1:06:00 Kugrash: They throw out a lot of good stuff.

1:06:02 Kingston: Kugrash, I will buy you a bagel. Do you want a bagel?

1:06:03 Kugrash: Ehh, you know, you...

1:06:05 Sofia: He's got a bagel.

1:06:07 Kugrash: Hey, Sofie, you want one?

1:06:07 Misty: Don't eat that bagel.

1:06:09 Sofia: No, actually, I'm good. I've made my own Long Island Iced Tea by putting a bunch of nips into a Nestea and just shaking it up.

1:06:15 Zac: I feel really guilty but I'm like,

1:06:17 Ricky: Today's gonna be my cheat day.

1:06:21 Kingston: Wow, we get to watch Mr. March cheat. [claps] I love this!

1:06:25 Sofia: I promise I won't put it on social media.

1:06:26 Brennan: Misty, as you guys have all eaten, you walk through again that click-clack of stone. Beautiful here. You know how to contact the gnomes here. So you bring people over to the whispering gallery. Whispering gallery is, by the way, a real place in New York City which is an archway that you can whisper into one corner and someone standing in the other corner can hear you. So you know that this is how you contact the gnomes that live here.

1:06:52 Siobhan: Okay, I go into the corner and say,

1:06:52 Misty: Hey you gnomes.

1:06:56 Brennan: Cling, plang, pang, pang. [chiming Christmassy music]

1:06:59 Gnome: [coughs] Who the hell's on the other line?

1:07:02 Misty: Darling, it's me, it's Misty.

1:07:03 Gnome: Well, jeepers creepers, hold on one second. [wheezing]

1:07:07 Brennan: You see out from like a little storm vent there's like [wheezing] the vent opens up. And riding a little steam-powered motorcycle that has a coal engine, a like one and a half foot tall crazy old prospector with like the skinniest… He kind of moves like he has extra joints in his arms and legs. Takes these goggles that so everything else is soot-blasted but the eyes are clean. It's like glittering blue magical eyes. Very old, like bald. Little bandana. Kind of has like western clothes, like a little like weather vest and like tools. And he goes

1:07:40 Gnome: [wheezes] As I live and breathe. Golly.

1:07:46 Brennan: Moves the soot around on his face with a sooty bandana.

1:07:49 Bilbry: Misty Moore. I don't suppose you'd recognize me, but my name's Bilbry.

1:07:55 Misty: Bilbry, how could I forget you? Bilbry, I've brought you a little packet of those nuts and bolts that you love.

1:08:00 Bilbry: Oh my goodness, nuts and bolts.

1:08:06 Brennan: Smoke comes out of his mouth.

1:08:08 Bilbry: Well, I'll be, welcome to Grand Central Station. You'll have to forgive me, I've been working on one of the dragons down in the secret train yard. Woo, they're ornery. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

1:08:19 Pete: Hi.

1:08:19 Sofia: Hi, I'm Sofia.

1:08:21 Bilbry: Hi, Sofia, pleasure to meet you.

1:08:23 Ricky: Are those any good, nuts and bolts?

1:08:25 Bilbry: Oh, for sure. But you'll ruin your human teeth on 'em. Crack 'em right open.

1:08:31 Misty: It's his cheat day, he's eating anything he wants.

1:08:32 Bilbry: Oh, if you wanna swallow some gently, I bet you could have some.

1:08:36 Kugrash: Ricky, don't do it, just don't.

1:08:37 Sofia: Ricky, you should cheat with a drink. Do you want a drink?

1:08:42 Ricky: I think I'd rather have a drink than a bolt or a nut, no offense.

1:08:45 Misty: We can go to the oyster bar afterwards and you can get a Manhattan that'll kill you.

1:08:50 Ricky: Sounds not safe.

1:08:52 Kingston: My man, word on the street is not everything is great?

1:08:55 Bilbry: Oh yeah, we had a little bit of a tussle. Oh, Kingston Brown, great to see you, friend.

1:09:01 Kingston: Nice to see you, Bill.

1:09:02 Bilbry: But are you coming by Willy's card game this week or no?

1:09:05 Kingston: I'm hoping to make time. I've been busy dealing with some things.

1:09:09 Bilbry: I just know 'cause like the week before New Year's, some people are out of town and then--

1:09:12 Kingston: Well, I'll definitely be in town. So it'll just be a matter of me getting over to Brooklyn.

1:09:16 Bilbry: Okay, I understand. It's a schlep for sure. If you need a ride on one of our magic trains, you just let me know.

1:09:22 Kingston: I mean, when you say dragon, are you talking, is that a class?

1:09:25 Bilbry: Oh, let me show you what I've been working on! Quick, real quick, how are we gonna do this? All right, hold on.

1:09:30 Brennan: And you see that he starts to fold out this weird metal contraption that becomes a little 10 foot by 10 foot hex on the ground. It looks like hammered can tin that has like runes in it.

1:09:41 Bilbry: If everybody would just care to go ahead and stop on here, that'd be great.

1:09:44 Emily: I jump in.

1:09:44 Murph: Cool.

1:09:45 Misty: Bilbry, this work is exquisite. You are such a master craftsman.

1:09:49 Bilbry: Well, flirting will get you everywhere. [winks]

1:09:53 Brennan: You see that he puts this thing on and goes. Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. And shrinks you all down into gnome size on this little platform.

1:10:00 Kingston: I don't like this, my man.

1:10:01 Sofia: Do you have a scale? I'd love to weigh myself right now.

1:10:04 Bilbry: Oh no, you couldn't… Well, what do you weigh normally? I would say, what, a buck 10?

1:10:09 Sofia: Oh my god, flirting will get you everywhere.

1:10:11 Bilbry: Hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee!

1:10:14 Kingston: Hey, my man, how long are we gonna be like this?

1:10:16 Murph: Is everyone my size now?

1:10:18 Brennan: No, you're even smaller than normal.

1:10:19 Kugrash: Oh shit. I was gonna start pushing people around. I was gonna physically bully you guys, shit.

1:10:25 Sofia: Your voice is a little bit higher too.

1:10:27 Kugrash: [almost helium-esque] Hey, guys, fuck you.

1:10:30 Misty: My voice is exactly the same.

1:10:32 Kugrash: Bill, you didn't need to shrink me, man. You didn't need to shrink me.

1:10:34 Brennan: You see that he reaches down into the little vent he opened and takes a matchbox, like one of those big matchboxes. He inflates a little like, it looks like a newspaper hot air balloon made out of The New York Times.

1:10:49 Bilbry: All aboard, here we go.

1:10:51 Lou: How tall, we're like a foot and a half?

1:10:53 Brennan: No. At this point now, you guys are even smaller, where you can fit like standing in a matchbox together.

1:10:57 Lou: I hate this.

1:10:58 Zac: A matchbox?

1:10:59 Murph: This is cute.

1:11:00 Emily: Oh my god.

1:11:00 Bilbry: All aboard.

1:11:03 Brennan: Hoot hoot. And the little thing begins to sail over Grand Central and you guys into the central hallway with all like the ticket things and the trains. You see the beautiful constellations overhead. The constellations all turn to wave at you. Go,

1:11:16 Constellations: Morning there, Bilbry.

1:11:18 Bilbry: Morning there, fellas, how's it going?

1:11:21 Ally: I really wanna jump off and land on an oyster. That sounds like it would feel so good. I'm not going to, I just wanted to let you know.

1:11:28 Emily: You're right, it would be like a slippery beanbag chair. Oh, the cushion.

1:11:31 Ally: Yeah.

1:11:33 Brennan: You guys see a number of little like zeppelins, hot air balloons, and biplanes are flying in a little circle…

1:11:36 Lou: [fully losing it] Oh my God. [laughing]

1:11:38 Brennan: ...around the central clock in the kiosk at the center of Grand Central. [buzzing] You see them flying around. You see that he looks out and you see that Bilbry takes, he sort of has his goggles on his head. You see he takes his goggles off and puts them over his heart as he looks at the clock at the center of Grand Central and goes,

1:12:04 Bilbry: There it is, the holy timepiece, the central clock. God bless it, look at it go. [sighs] I love you, clock. Love you with all my heart.

1:12:15 Brennan: And [lips vibrating]. So you see that he takes you guys over to bum bum bum, hold on one second.

1:12:22 Lou: The amount of wonder in that moment was so much for my heart.

1:12:25 Emily: I know.

1:12:25 Lou: My heart. Kingston is whatever, but my heart is so full right now.

1:12:29 Siobhan: Already going into Grand Central Station, it's one of the most beautiful places in the world.

1:12:34 Ally: Totally.

1:12:35 Emily: Can we say that when I got shrunk that I had a nip in my pocket that didn't get shrunk so now I have a giant nip?

1:12:39 Siobhan: So now you are like Alice in Wonderland.

1:12:43 Brennan: So you see that he takes you and he says,

1:12:46 Bilbry: All right, everyone hang on, we're heading into the Tempest.

1:12:49 Brennan: And he flies the thing over. And you see that as you go towards the constellations, it turns into just real sky with storms around it.

1:12:57 Bilbry: Ah, here we go.

1:12:59 Brennan: And everybody make a Dexterity check for me, a Dexterity saving throw, if you'd be so kind.

1:13:01 Murph: Shit.

1:13:03 Ally: Nat 1.

1:13:03 Zac: Nat 3.

1:13:03 Siobhan: I also got a nat 1.

1:13:06 Emily: I got a 21.

1:13:06 Zac: I got a 13. Oh no, 16. You add 3 to it for my Charisma save.

1:13:09 Ally: Oh, thank you.

1:13:12 Brennan: All right, you still both fail. You guys see that Misty and Pete are flung out of the matchbox.

1:13:17 Emily: Oh my god, can I Mage Hand to help one of them?

1:13:21 Brennan: Mage Hand is five pounds or less.

1:13:23 Emily: Can I Mage Hand to grab one of them and,

1:13:23 Brennan: Uh, yes.

1:13:23 Emily: Safe landing onto an oyster.

1:13:28 Ally: Yes. Yes.

1:13:32 Brennan: You [lips vibrating] Pete begins to, ah, fly down. So, Pete, you are totally cast aside and you go all the way to the food court and land on a giant, puffy oyster.

1:13:44 Ally: It's so slimy and it was way harder than I thought it was. There was no give. It was like landing on a muscle.

1:13:51 Brennan: You see that someone grabs the oyster and without looking at it, begins to move it to their mouth. [Pete yelling]

1:13:57 Kingston: Bilbry, you need to turn this thing around.

1:14:00 Bilbry: We gotta wait for the wind storms.

1:14:03 Murph: I turn into a giant eagle, I turn into a giant eagle.

1:14:05 Siobhan: I'm just gonna Misty Step back into the balloon.

1:14:09 Murph: Okay.

1:14:10 Brennan: You land back in there.

1:14:11 Ally: I'm on the ground somewhere.

1:14:11 Brennan: You're back on the ground.

1:14:13 Emily: Can I Mage Hand to pick him back up?

1:14:15 Brennan: You Mage Handed to slow his fall. Pete, you're fully back in the food court as you guys head through the storm—

1:14:22 Murph: Okay, giant eagle, I'll be a giant eagle.

1:14:23 Brennan: Cool, you giant eagle to go… You fly back after Pete. Pete, give me a Dex save to jump out of the oyster.

1:14:30 Ally: Oh, Jesus. Yeah, 7.

1:14:32 Lou: This is wild.

1:14:34 Brennan: You stumble, fall. You take, I'm gonna say...

1:14:39 Zac: What the fuck is happening?

1:14:40 Brennan: You take 6 points of falling damage as you land on the floor. And you see that someone's emotional support Jack Russell looks at you and goes [snarls].

1:14:48 Pete: No. Bad dog, bad dog.

1:14:50 Brennan: It runs after you.

1:14:51 Ally: I take out my gun. I'm shooting this dog.

1:14:52 Emily: It’s so tiny.

1:14:54 Brennan: Open up on a dog.

1:14:54 Ally: Shooting this dog's leg.

1:14:56 Brennan: You're shooting this dog in the leg, trying to take its knees out.

1:14:58 Ally: Fuck it.

1:14:59 Brennan: We'll cut back to all of you guys. You soar through these clouds. You are flying after Pete. The rest of the four of you, and you see Bilbry says,

1:15:06 Bilbry: He'll be fine.

1:15:07 Ricky: My good sir, you should invest in some seat belts for this.

1:15:10 Kingston: Bilbry, so you shrank us down without our consent, then you took, my man is back there. We gotta go back, Bilbry.

1:15:19 Bilbry: Behold the trainyards of the clock gnomes.

1:15:23 Misty: I'm having a great time.

1:15:24 Kingston: Okay.

1:15:24 Misty: This is a lark.

1:15:25 Sofia: Yeah, I'm drinking from my giant nip. [hugging the nip] Happy Christmas.

1:15:30 Ally: Happy Christmas.

1:15:32 Brennan: You guys arrive back at the… You guys see this incredible, extra-dimensional train yard appears that is kind of like, you see that spatial magic has wedged it into the space between the regular like Metro-North and Amtrak places. But you see that there's a bunch of animated trains that have like cars and compartments, but at the front of them are these like snarling, chrome-plated dragon heads. And they are like full size. You guys are back to your regular size here in the train yard. Kugrash, you giant eagle your way over to Pete. You arrive next to Pete who's shooting a dog.

1:16:14 Kugrash: Don't shoot the fucking dog, Pete.

1:16:16 Pete: Ah, an eagle! [shoots]

1:16:19 Kugrash: I'm not the one who is dying, goddammit. You see how dirty this eagle is? You think a regular eagle looks like this?

1:16:22 Pete: Kugrash?

1:16:22 Kugrash: Yeah.

1:16:23 Pete: Oh, okay, thank you.

1:16:24 Ally: I ride you like "The Rescuers Down Under".

1:16:28 Kugrash: I've seen that movie. I've seen that movie. [sobbing] I took my fucking kids to see that.

1:16:32 Pete: Are you crying? Am I riding a dirty, crying eagle? This is democracy now.

1:16:37 Kugrash: I'm such a goddamn bad dad.

1:16:41 Brennan: You fly back through the storm, arrive back at the train yard. Poof, back to regular size. You see that Bilbry takes you and says,

1:16:48 Bilbry: You guys wanna pet one of the dragons?

1:16:50 Sofia: Yes.

1:16:50 Pete: Yes.

1:16:51 Sofia: Absolutely.

1:16:53 Brennan: You guys can give me Animal Handling checks if you'd like.

1:16:54 Ally: Oo yum. Okay, one good roll.

1:16:54 Lou: Let's go get bit.

1:16:58 Ally: 16.

1:17:00 Lou: 23.

1:17:01 Murph: 24.

1:17:01 Emily: 14.

1:17:02 Brennan: 24.

1:17:02 Zac: 10.

1:17:06 Siobhan: 16.

1:17:08 Brennan: Kugrash and Kingston, you walk up, the rest of you guys, the dragons kind of [snarls]. But Kingston and Kugrash, you walk up to what looks like, you see that this train appears to be headed towards something called, this train has on the side of it, Clock Gnome Express. And the little like destination thing on the front of it says Realms of Shadow on it. You see that the dragon kind of [snarls] and calms down as you approach it. What do you guys do as you approach the dragon?

1:17:45 Kugrash: Hey, how you doing, buddy?

1:17:49 Dragon: Hello.

1:17:50 Kugrash: Hey. I haven't met too many dragons before. Would you mind if I pet behind your ears or anything? Would that be enjoyable for you? All right. The dragon train growls and nods.

1:18:03 Brennan: [train whistle] A big blast of steam comes out of its jaws.

1:18:07 Kingston: This is a consensual working environment? Like you want this, right? I just wanna check.

1:18:14 Dragon: [deep, rumbling] I was created.

1:18:15 Kingston: Oh.

1:18:16 Dragon: So yes, I like this.

1:18:17 Kingston: Oh hell yeah. How fast you go?

1:18:21 Dragon: I can top out at 180.

1:18:23 Kingston: Damn.

1:18:23 Kugrash: That's crazy, man.

1:18:25 Dragon: Not bad. Really not bad. But that's for the express, you know. On the local tracks, we don't get up to that speed but...

1:18:32 Kugrash: Where do you go to? Is this Shadow Express?

1:18:35 Dragon: Yeah, well I do the Hudson Line. So it's Yonkers, Croton-Harmon, Peekskill, Spuyten Duyvil, Ossining, Tarrytown, and then Shadow Realms.

1:18:44 Kingston: Oh, okay.

1:18:44 Kugrash: Right.

1:18:45 Kingston: Which Shadow Realms?

1:18:47 Dragon: Oh, Cold Spring.

1:18:48 Kingston: Oh, okay. Never been.

1:18:52 Kugrash: You guys got some problems going on down here?

1:18:54 Brennan: You see that Bill, the dragon sort of looks confused, but Bilbry says,

1:18:57 Bilbry: Yeah, if you’re interested in taking a look at the problem, I can take you over.

1:19:01 Brennan: Bilbry walks—

1:19:01 Kingston: Sorry. The dragon, what's your name, man?

1:19:03 Dragon: What?

1:19:04 Kingston: What's your name? You got a name?

1:19:06 Centifax: My name is Centifax.

1:19:08 Kingston: All right, C, I'll see you later, man.

1:19:10 Centifax: All right, take it easy, Kingston Brown.

1:19:13 Kingston: That dragon knew my name!

1:19:17 Misty: Wow, I've never seen Kingston starstruck before.

1:19:19 Kingston: I mean, it doesn't happen of… I've never been inside of this place before. This is pretty nice.

1:19:26 Brennan: You guys arrive. You see that there is this weird, little gyroscoping what looks like a tower of a multi-part cuckoo clock that is gyrating in different direc… So it's like concentric rings of a stacked cuckoo clock that spin in opposite directions from each other. [music box version of “The First Noel” plays]

1:19:42 Brennan: This one has been like very festively decorated for the holidays and you see that Bilbry leads you through, there's a bunch of other gnomes here. You're all regular-sized at this point. You guys are kind of crouched to enter some of the rooms and hallways. He brings you to this kind of central almost like chapel to clocks and clockwork things. And he says,

1:20:02 Bilbry: High Priestess Hib-Hob. Are you around here somewhere?

1:20:09 Brennan: You see that this old-looking woman appears. She is a clock gnome. You see that she's got a couple like warts that have some whiskers on them, but this very round, cute face. She's not only got the goggles on her head, but she's got glasses on at the same time that have those like little swiveling monocle lenses on them. She turns around. She's got like a big kind of like peasant's gown and smock on. Big leather work gloves. She turns around and goes [chuckles]

1:20:34 Hib-Hob: [sounds like Mickey Mouse] Well, hello there. Welcome, one and all. I am the High Priestess Hib-Hob. Thanks for coming by. Bilbry, what's the occasion? Oh my goodness, Misty Moore. Hello.

1:20:48 Misty: Oh hello, happy holiday.

1:20:50 Hib-Hob: Huge fan. When are you gonna release a Christmas album? That's what I wanna know.

1:20:53 Misty: You know what, I've been talking about it. I've been thinking about it.

1:20:57 Brennan: You see that Bilbry says,

1:20:57 Bilbry: Well, these fine folks are here to talk about the trouble that happened.

1:21:01 Hib-Hob: Well, very well. So, well, we had a little bit of a snafu. I had a little bit of a fainting spell here in the chapel the other day. And one of my most prized holy books is gone.

1:21:19 Ricky: You had a fainting spell?

1:21:20 Hib-Hob: Yeah, never happens usually but—

1:21:22 Sofia: Are you recently vegetarian?

1:21:24 Hib-Hob: No, no. I eat mechanical parts like most clock gnomes.

1:21:28 Kingston: Are you drinking enough water?

1:21:29 Misty: Or oil? Are you drinking enough oil?

1:21:32 Hib-Hob: I’ve heard eight thimblefuls a day, but that can't be true. That's way too much oil.

1:21:37 Kingston: No, there's no such thing as too much oil if you are a clock gnome, all right?

1:21:42 Hib-Hob: Okay.

1:21:43 Ricky: Wait, someone took something?

1:21:44 Hib-Hob: Yes, yes.

1:21:45 Sofia: Spellbook.

1:21:47 Hib-Hob: Well, one of our ancient religious books, the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins. It's missing.

1:21:53 Ricky: [nodding confidently] Sounds normal.

1:21:54 Kugrash: What was in that?

1:21:55 Sofia: I think I read that in college.

1:21:57 Brennan: You see she says,

1:21:57 Hib-Hob: I would very much doubt it. Well, the Big Boots— The Big Book of Bits and Bobbins, it's hard to say.

1:22:06 Misty: What was that? Say it again.

1:22:07 Hib-Hob: The Big Book, sorry. The Big— [clears throat].

1:22:08 Pete: What was it?

1:22:09 Hib-Hob: The Big Book of Bic...

1:22:12 Ricky: The Big Book of Bits and Bobbins?

1:22:13 Kugrash: They're a proud people, all right? Some of us can't be humans. Goddammit. Respect the gnomes.

1:22:22 Brennan: You see she says,

1:22:22 Hib-Hob: So the, Bug, the Book, the.. Brennan sighs exasperatedly and recenters himself.

1:22:22 Hib-Hob: Big Book of Bits and Bobbins went missing very recently.

1:22:30 Sofia: What if we just call it the Four B's? Would that be easier?

1:22:34 Hib-Hob: Well no, we should respect it, it's a religious relic.

1:22:35 Sofia: Okay.

1:22:36 Hib-Hob: So, the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins went missing.

1:22:38 Misty: And what is in the book?

1:22:41 Hib-Hob: Well, like most of our religious books, it's a bunch of schematics and diagrams for building religious relics.

1:22:47 Misty: What kind of religious relics?

1:22:49 Hib-Hob: Oh, the Big Book of Bits and Bobbins has some of the most important religious relics that we have. Very many important timepieces. Watches, clocks, pendulums.

1:23:00 Sofia: What about keys? Could you possibly like fake a key to the city or something like that?

1:23:06 Hib-Hob: Sure. Well, there's plenty of locks and keys and all sorts of things like that—

1:23:10 Kugrash: Yeah, locks.

1:23:11 Sofia: Locks.

1:23:13 Siobhan: Can I do a History check or an Arcana check or something?

1:23:15 Brennan: Yeah, give me an Arcana check if you want.

1:23:16 Ally: Yeah, I'll do one too.

1:23:19 Kugrash: Door doesn't have a lock.

1:23:19 Siobhan: 17.

1:23:20 Ally: 14.

1:23:20 Kingston: Make a lock for one.

1:23:20 Kugrash: And it needs one.

1:23:22 Misty: Right, but it doesn't have a lock right now.

1:23:24 Kugrash: Yeah. That's what they're trying to do.

1:23:27 Sofia: They're trying to build a lock. Maybe.

1:23:30 Brennan: You see that the High Priestess goes,

1:23:30 Hib-Hob: Well, yes. There's a lot that you could do there that probably…

1:23:40 Brennan: Sorry, did anyone beat a 20 on an Arcana or no?

1:23:42 Emily: Oh.

1:23:42 Lou: I'll try.

1:23:43 Emily: I'll just try, why not?

1:23:45 Lou: I got a nat 20.

1:23:45 Siobhan: What?

1:23:47 Ally: Yes.

1:23:47 Brennan: Nat 20.

1:23:48 Ally: Yes. [ uiet, dark orchestral music]

1:23:49 Brennan: Kingston. You've never been here before, but way back in the day when you first got the Eternal Token from the Dragon of Bleecker Street, and probably thinking about it 'cause you just met a dragon again, they're pretty rare in the city, the Dragon of Bleecker Street had a massive hoard of treasure and one of its, back when it was still around, one of its most prized possessions was this glittering, sparkling gem, a perfect cut gem from the clock gnomes, it was called a Time Stone.

1:24:24 Lou: Mm.

1:24:24 Ally: Mm.

1:24:25 Brennan: And the dragon knew that it was a object of incredible power.

1:24:29 Lou: Mm-hmm.

1:24:31 Hib-Hob: Well yeah, most of our most important relics are in there, some relics that I dare not even mention out loud.

1:24:36 Kingston: What about the Time Stone?

1:24:40 Hib-Hob: How do you know about Time Stones?

1:24:42 Kingston: I have a— I had a very special relationship with the Dragon of Bleecker Street.

1:24:47 Hib-Hob: Holy…

1:24:48 Brennan: You see she takes her little gnome hat off.

1:24:50 Kingston: That's very kind of you.

1:24:51 Pete: What happened to the Dragon of Bleecker Street?

1:24:53 Hib-Hob: The Dragon of Bleecker Street protected us time and time again from the chuds and troglodytes and all manner of things that tried to destroy our people and our little village here. We made that Time Stone for the dragon. It's one of only, I think, yeah, that's the last one we made and the others are all either gone or safe or here with us, protected.

1:25:19 Sofia: I don’t, oh.

1:25:20 Kugrash: What do they do?

1:25:23 Hib-Hob: A Time Stone doesn't really do too much by itself. It is an… If you were to get that book back, it goes into more detail. There's a lot of things to know about Time Stones, more than I can say right here. But suffice it to say that they are objects that draw on the power of time, and specifically gain power. They are aligned with certain times. And the—

1:25:50 Sofia: Oh, like solstice.

1:25:53 Hib-Hob: Like a solstice.

1:25:53 Sofia: Like tonight.

1:25:54 Hib-Hob: Or midnight, the witching hour. Or something like that.

1:25:57 Pete: And this happened to you last night?

1:25:58 Hib-Hob: Yes.

1:25:58 Pete: Hm, during the solstice.

1:26:02 Lou: Can I do a Medicine check on the gnome to see if there's anything like to see if—

1:26:07 Ally: If something happened.

1:26:07 Lou: Yeah. If I think something was put on them versus their actual state of being.

1:26:12 Brennan: Yeah, give me a Medicine check.

1:26:14 Lou: All right. It's gonna be a 25.

1:26:21 Brennan: So, Kingston, you walk over. You see, she looks up.

1:26:24 Kingston: Miss, do you mind real quick, I'm a nurse, and so I just wanna take a look at you, see why you maybe fainted last night.

1:26:30 Hib-Hob: Oh, certainly. Probably, yeah, probably dumb of me not to have gotten it checked out. I know you can't sleep with a concussion. But yeah, if you wanna take a look.

1:26:36 Kingston: Yeah.

1:26:38 Brennan: You check this here. High Priestess Hib-Hob was the victim of a very powerful Sleep spell.

1:26:50 Lou: Mm-hmm.

1:26:52 Brennan: That basically put her out. And you think it seems like it was probably pixie magic.

1:27:01 Siobhan: [whispering] Ah, those fucking pixies.

1:27:03 Lou: All right. Great.

1:27:05 Hib-Hob: Am I okay? Is there a bump back there or--

1:27:07 Kingston: You're gonna be just fine. Just make sure, I know it sounds hard, eight thimblefuls of oil is possible.

1:27:12 Brennan: You see Bilbry nods sagely as you say that and pours a little thimbleful of oil and she goes,

1:27:17 Hib-Hob: All right. Well, I had one. I guess I've only had coffee today.

1:27:23 Kingston: There you go.

1:27:24 Sofia: Don't vegetables have oil in them too, though? So like can't you get some of your oil from vegetables?

1:27:27 Kingston: Very specific magical vegetables do have oil in them.

1:27:31 Misty: Also avocados, avocados are great for clock gnomes.

1:27:36 Kugrash: Have you had any weird, have you had any other visitors here recently that aren't just gnomes?

1:27:40 Pete: Yeah, it was a pretty big schlep to get in here, so...

1:27:44 Kugrash: Have you had anybody else come through?

1:27:46 Brennan: You see, she says—

1:27:46 Ricky: Oh. Were there any pigeons in here?

1:27:52 Hib-Hob: Oh, there's always some pigeons in Grand Central. But no, here, I'd have a hard time thinking so. You know, nobody would be able to get in here unless they were able to get through the storm somehow.

1:28:04 Sofia: But there have been pigeons in here though?

1:28:07 Hib-Hob: Sure, some pigeons have gotten through the storm. The storm might not be that hard to get through.

1:28:11 Misty: Is the storm magically protective or just physically protective?

1:28:15 Hib-Hob: Just physically.

1:28:16 Misty: Okay. So you could teleport through it, perhaps.

1:28:19 Hib-Hob: Oh dang. Yeah, you could. Oh, we should get on that.

1:28:22 Misty: Yeah, you should maybe get on...

1:28:23 Brennan: Bilbry says,

1:28:23 Bilbry: Well, I'll tell you what. If we want this place magically protected, I've been working on something that turns people into drawings.

1:28:32 Pete: No, thank you.

1:28:33 Kingston: You know what, Bilbry--

1:28:33 Misty: Very intense.

1:28:34 Ally: I'm wiping oyster off my body.

1:28:35 Sofia: I am here for beta testing.

1:28:36 Kingston: You guys wanna go grab some cheesecake? 'Cause, you know, I just feel like--

1:28:40 Siobhan: Can I just do a pass around with my Mirror of Manannan to see if there's anything invisible?

1:28:47 Brennan: You see--

1:28:47 Siobhan: Ethereal.

1:28:48 Brennan: With the Mirror of Manannan, you look around and see that there is a little bit of residual pixie dust here in the room.

1:28:53 Siobhan: Ah. Can I take a little bit of it and put it in--

1:28:56 Brennan: Yes, pick some up, go for it.

1:28:57 Misty: Pete, give me a baggie.

1:28:58 Pete: Oh yeah, for sure.

1:29:00 Ally: And I just dump it on the ground and like kind of smudge it.

1:29:02 Misty: All right, that's a waste. Not all of us are sober.

1:29:06 Pete: I'm swimming in money.

1:29:08 Brennan: Wonderful, guys. Yeah, you guys head off to go get some cheesecake. The gnomes see Bilbry flies you back.

1:29:13 Bilbry: Well, it's been an absolute pleasure. Feel free to come back anytime.

1:29:17 Kingston: Well--

1:29:17 Sofia: I definitely will.

1:29:19 Pete: Thank you.

1:29:19 Kugrash: Bill, can I have a motorcycle?

1:29:21 Bilbry: What's that?

1:29:22 Kugrash: Can I have a little motorcycle?

1:29:22 Misty: Oh, rat sized motorcycle.

1:29:23 Bilbry: I'll build you… You want a motorcycle?

1:29:24 Kugrash: Yeah.

1:29:26 Bilbry: I can build you something better than a motorcycle.

1:29:28 Kugrash: Hell yeah, man.

1:29:30 Misty: He'll just take a motorcycle.

1:29:32 Bilbry: What about instead of wheels on the bottom, it has wheels on the top?

1:29:35 Sofia: I'll take that one.

1:29:36 Bilbry: Okay.

1:29:37 Brennan: You see he—

1:29:37 Kugrash: I'll take a regular one.

1:29:39 Brennan: He takes off.

1:29:40 Misty: He's very enthusiastic but sometimes too creative.

1:29:43 Kugrash: He's riding around on a little cool thing. I want that.

1:29:46 Sofia: I want that too.

1:29:47 Kingston: Everybody, you know, if we are gnomes, none of you are, should be drinking eight thimblefuls of oil a day, but nah, that woman was hit with a very powerful Sleep spell by pixies.

1:29:58 Misty: Well—

1:29:58 Pete: Wow.

1:30:00 Misty: I do have a spell called Locate Creature that works better if I have,

1:30:05 Siobhan: And I shake the pixie dust,

1:30:09 Misty: A little bit of something from them—

1:30:11 Pete: That's great, that's great. Let's do it.

1:30:14 Sofia: I just wanna, just as an update, I spied on my family and they were working with the Confettis. They owe Don Confetti another favor 'cause we fucked them over by killing Isabella Infierno, but they did mention the Confettis, they're nothing. They're shit. They're working for someone else. They're under someone else.

1:30:33 Pete: It was probably Bob, right?

1:30:34 Kugrash: But we can, we can probably go through the...

1:30:35 Sofia: Probably Bob.

1:30:36 Ricky: Did you burn your house down?

1:30:37 Sofia: I did.

1:30:38 Pete: What?

1:30:38 Kingston: I'm sorry?

1:30:39 Misty: What?

1:30:40 Sofia: I, you know—

1:30:40 Misty: Do you need a place to stay?

1:30:42 Sofia: Sometimes you gotta burn a bridge so you don't go backwards.

1:30:46 Misty: Well, but you didn't burn a bridge, you burned a house.

1:30:47 Sofia: Yes.

1:30:47 Kingston: Yeah, your house.

1:30:49 Sofia: Yeah.

1:30:50 Pete: Did you—

1:30:50 Sofia: I did, yeah.

1:30:52 Ricky: It feels really reckless. I just wanna throw that out there.

1:30:56 Sofia: I'm sorry. You know what, Ricky, I didn't realize as I was doing it that you might take it personally and I—

1:31:01 Ricky: I just can't believe you'd do that.

1:31:02 Sofia: I realize now how potentially offensive that was to you and I'm really sorry. I should have come up with a better, a safer way to recklessly abandon my previous life and make peace with my husband's death. I'm sorry.

1:31:18 Brennan: Does Misty cast Locate Creature?

1:31:21 Siobhan: Yes.

1:31:22 Brennan: Wonderful.

1:31:23 Siobhan: So it's if the creature is within a thousand feet of you and if the creature is moving, you know the direction of it.

1:31:28 Lou: How long does it take to cast?

1:31:29 Siobhan: It's one action and then it's a concentration spell that lasts up to an hour.

1:31:33 Emily: Should we save it for when we think that we're right near where they are?

1:31:35 Murph: I have the bagel,

1:31:35 Emily: Oh, yah maybe we should do that.

1:31:35 Murph: Should I use the bagel to ask a question about if it's close or not?

1:31:40 Siobhan: Yeah, you're right.

1:31:40 Emily: Oh.

1:31:43 Siobhan: So, I'm gonna use my Divination Bagel.

1:31:45 Kugrash: All right, guys.

1:31:45 Murph: I pull out my bagel.

1:31:47 Siobhan: Scrape off the crumbs from the cheesecake.

1:31:47 Murph: Scrape off some crumbs onto a plate.

1:31:50 Sofia: Oh my god, that looks so good.

1:31:52 Murph: And I ask the powers that be,

1:31:55 Kugrash: Oh great dirt and shit of the city, are we, how, you know, hot, cold, where in the middle are we to these pixies that fucked up this poor little gnome?

1:32:08 Misty: North, south, east, west.

1:32:10 Brennan: You see that the answer comes back to you. You divine in the different sesame seeds and poppy seeds and little bits of onion on the plate that the pixies have long since vacated and are nowhere in the premises. But you see that the plate also tells you to hold onto the pixie dust.

1:32:32 Kugrash: Okay.

1:32:32 Misty: Great.

1:32:33 Pete: Cool.

1:32:33 Kugrash: The bagel has spoken.

1:32:35 Ricky: Do we know where these pixies normally congregate?

1:32:38 Pete: Oh yeah, where was the hole again?

1:32:40 Ricky: You could call the pigeons.

1:32:42 Misty: Yeah, get Perry on the job.

1:32:44 Pete: That's great.

1:32:47 Misty: I do worry that the pigeons are working now with the pixies.

1:32:50 Pete: I think the pigeons are so dumb, we can always use them.

1:32:53 Sofia: Not to mention, Perry loves, I mean let's be honest, we all see it, Perry's got a thing for you.

1:32:57 Pete: We all see it. Perry's head over heels.

1:32:57 Kugrash: No, he's just a pigeon.

1:33:00 Pete: I've never had someone that in love with me in my life.

1:33:02 Sofia: Honestly, no.

1:33:03 Misty: I have a few times, but not for a couple hundred years. [Emily laughs]

1:33:08 Brennan: Wonderful. So you guys have some loose plans here but I just wanna also, just because of time, wanna move us along. You guys, do you wanna reach out to pigeons or investigate pixies or anything like that?

1:33:22 Murph: Do we wanna go to the pixie place or do we… Yeah, I'll, should I waste that? It's a 3rd level spell, Conjure Animals.

1:33:29 Ricky: Can you call her? Did you text her?

1:33:31 Siobhan: Can you text Perry?

1:33:32 Emily: Yeah, can you just text Perry?

1:33:33 Murph: Yeah, can I just contact Perry? I'd like to contact Perry.

1:33:35 Brennan: Yeah, Perry contacts you and says,

1:33:37 Perry the Pigeon: Ha, I've been waiting for this message. [chuckles]

1:33:40 Kugrash: Hey, Perry, you been, I know Ronald Pigeon married into the pixie family, yeah? You pigeons been working with pixies at all?

1:33:49 Perry the Pigeon: Well, we've been around their space. If you want us to keep an eye on them, I'd be happy to do that for you.

1:33:56 Kugrash: That'd be great, Perry, I would really appreciate it.

1:34:00 Emily: Oh my god, you're manipulative.

1:34:02 Perry the Pigeon: I'll be a shadow, unseen, in the distance, always watching. They'll never know my movements, but I will know all of theirs.

1:34:08 Kugrash: My guy on the inside.

1:34:08 Perry the Pigeon: Kugrash, by my life or death, I'm gonna fuck you one day. Brennan cracks almost immediately at the end of this line and laughs.

1:34:15 Kugrash: All right, Perry.

1:34:15 Perry the Pigeon: One day.

1:34:15 Kugrash: Perry, you know what, let's not mix business and pleasure. I know we have strong feelings for each other, but we have to work together through this deep sexual tension.

1:34:22 Perry the Pigeon: I'll let you know as soon as I… It might be a couple days, but I'll let you know as soon as I find something out.

1:34:25 Kingston: Kugrash, this is immoral. I'm gonna tell you all right now,        this is very immoral.

1:34:28 Sofia: Yah, Kug. Unless you have feelings for Perry that you've been dodging—

1:34:31 Kugrash: You know what? Easy to respect the fact that I just want to be friends. This is on Perry.

1:34:34 Sofia: You just told him that you don't want to be friends.

1:34:37 Misty: So, you've got stuff to do. I get it, I'm on your side—

1:34:38 Kugrash: Thank you, thank you, Misty.

1:34:40 Sofia: I guess I burned my own house down. Ricky shakes his head sadly.

1:34:42 Brennan: You guys, the next couple days pass by as Christmas fast approaches. [gentle piano cover of ‘Carol of the Bells’]

1:34:49 Brennan and Siobhan: [singing] Ding dingy dong, ding dingy dong, ding dingy dong ding dingy dong.

1:34:54 Brennan: Let's talk about Christmas comes around. Let's see where we're gonna start. So, a beautiful Christmas at Kingston's place uptown in Harlem. Pete, you eat like a fucking king. What do you guys do at your beautiful Christmas? Oh, you see that cousins and uncles and aunts and other families from the building and the block come by. You guys stack tables up so it moves, like there's tables in the kitchen and just like long, multi-room table gets built. Just joy and wonder, the kids wake up that morning.

1:35:30 Ally: I got a haircut and I'm wearing like a really nice chain and like the cleanest jersey I own.

1:35:39 Brennan: Incredible. You see that all of Kingston's various nieces and nephews are like very into the chain, very into the tattoos, very into your weird haircut, either to celebrate and ask questions, or to actively mock and make fun of.

1:35:57 Ally: Yeah, that's probably most of it.

1:35:59 Brennan: Yeah.

1:35:59 Ally: I'm in suit pants also. Like pinstripe suit pants and the jersey's tucked in.

1:36:04 Pete: I don't know what I'm doing, man.

1:36:06 Kingston: Pete, honestly, it's Christmas. You can be whatever you want.

1:36:09 Pete: That's really, it takes a lot off my mind, man.

1:36:12 Kingston: Of course, man. I mean, I'mma wear a white T-shirt, some khaki pants.

1:36:17 Pete: Oh great.

1:36:18 Kingston: And a blazer.

1:36:19 Pete: Oh, a blazer, that's what I need.

1:36:22 Ally: I look for a blazer.

1:36:23 Emily: A blazer over a jersey?

1:36:28 Lou: Can I give Pete a Christmas present?

1:36:30 Brennan: Absolutely.

1:36:31 Kingston: Here you go, Pete.

1:36:32 Pete: Oh my god.

1:36:34 Kingston: It's a bag of cherry tomato seeds. I thought you might be able to, you know, we could put a planter on the roof or something come spring.

1:36:41 Pete: I'm big into gardening. Oh man, thank you so much.

1:36:44 Kingston: I mean, if you're still here or wherever you go. I mean, you don't have to be here. I don't wanna assume like that. But wherever you go, you know, here's some big, big bunch of cherry seeds. And then also, you know, I was walking around Times Square and I saw this zebra cowboy hat and I thought you might like that. So, I don't know.

1:37:08 Ally: [grinning maniacally] I swap it out for my cowboy hat immediately and I now I look full-on like I've been dared to dress this way. Lou cackles.

1:37:17 Brennan: You see that Winston also gets you… You're like flush with gifts for the first time in probably a couple Christmases. And you see that Winston gets you a set of dominoes and looks,

1:37:29 Winston: There you go, kid. I'm gonna kick your ass.

1:37:32 Pete: Oh no, you're not.

1:37:33 Winston: I'm gonna kick your ass, my friend.

1:37:34 Pete: No, you're not. This is so nice.

1:37:38 Brennan: And you see that Victoria has been very worried about you and gets you this giant puffy sweater.

1:37:46 Pete: Oh, thank you.

1:37:46 Brennan: A big Christmas sweater for you to stay warm. Kingston, you actually get a gift too.

1:37:53 Lou: Really?

1:37:53 Brennan: Yes, you do. You get one of those nice, really like gourmet, not overly sugary, like very tasteful chocolate bars, that's like one of those expensive chocolate bars. And you get a MetroCard that is purple and covered in stars much like the train to Nod was.

1:38:18 Lou: Oh, okay. Very, very nice.

1:38:22 Emily: Can we also say I had the foresight, just 'cause during this I wanted to, I wanna have sent everyone edible arrangements. It's just 'cause it will arrive.

1:38:32 Ally: I'm eating the driest strawberry I've ever had in my life.

1:38:35 Misty: The pineapple is so--

1:38:35 Brennan: [to Murph] Do you have your family's names in front of you?

1:38:37 Murph: Yes, yes.

1:38:40 Lou: I take the edible arrangement and I put it like, in the bathroom—

1:38:40 Murph: David.

1:38:41 Brennan: David, what's his wife?

1:38:42 Murph: David and Diane.

1:38:42 Brennan: And Diane. And his kids, do you have his kids' names?

1:38:45 Murph: Matt and Delia.

1:38:46 Brennan: Matt and Delia?

1:38:46 Murph: Yes.

1:38:47 Lou: I'm sure people will eat this.

1:38:50 Brennan: Kugrash, you have, Wally goes out with you. You have Christmas Eve with him. You guys are talking all day, and the next day you head out.

1:39:00 Murph: I also would like to say, I want to have like summoned animals the night before and I wanna give Wally a Christmas present. I want to give him a dog. I want to have like domesticated a stray dog with my druidic powers.

1:39:11 Brennan: He's so happy. He goes,

1:39:14 Wally: Aw, it's a little buddy for me.

1:39:16 Kugrash: Right, yeah.

1:39:17 Wally: I love him. He's great. I'm gonna name him Dad after you.

1:39:24 Kugrash: That's a great name, Wally.

1:39:24 Siobhan: Oh, Wally.

1:39:24 Ally: [covering their face] Oh Wally.

1:39:30 Brennan: You see that, you go out to Forest Hills that day. It's a very stressful time. There's two dogs in the back. Wally shows up at the door. And he goes up to the door and he winks at you. David enters and goes,

1:39:42 David: Hey, Wally, merry Christmas.

1:39:45 Brennan: Gives him a hug and he goes,

1:39:45 Wally: I got two dogs. One is Dad.

1:39:51 Brennan: And you see that he looks down and you see, he looks down and goes,

1:39:55 David: Oh, this one's named Dad. Very cute, Wally.

1:40:00 Kugrash: David, I need to talk to you for a second.

1:40:02 Murph: I speak as a dog.

1:40:04 Brennan: As a dog? He looks at you and he goes

1:40:07 David: [stammering] What?

1:40:08 Kugrash: We need to—

1:40:08 Brennan: I'm gonna need you to make a Wisdom check to break the Umbral Arcana. It's a DC 20 Wisdom check to snap him into the Umbral Arcana.

1:40:23 Murph: Can I use Dispel Magic or anything—

1:40:24 Brennan: You can use Dispel Magic. So that's gonna be your spell attack instead of Wisdom to beat a DC 20.

1:40:30 Murph: Okay, I'll do that. Fuck, 14.

1:40:36 Brennan: 14. So you see, he goes, you go, David, I wanna talk to you. And you see,

1:40:40 David: Hey, there's a good boy, huh.

1:40:43 Brennan: And scratches behind your ear.

1:40:43 Lou: Oh god.

1:40:47 David: There's a good boy. Come on, he's a feisty little guy.

1:40:50 Kugrash: Well, Wally, at least you don't need to lie. We're fucked.

1:40:54 Brennan: He scoops you up and you're in David's arms in a hug.

1:40:58 Murph: I lick my son's face. [cast laughing]

1:41:01 Brennan: You see, he goes, ah. He says,

1:41:02 David: I like this guy, what's this guy's name?

1:41:04 Brennan: And you see, he goes,

1:41:04 Wally: His name is Kugrash.

1:41:09 Brennan: And you see he goes,

1:41:09 David: Kugrash, all right.

1:41:12 Brennan: Sits down. And you spend a Christmas Day in front of a warm fire in a nice home with your grandchildren.

1:41:19 Murph: I'm running around, playing with my grandkids.

1:41:21 Ally: Aw, that's sweet.

1:41:21 Siobhan: [a little choked up] Oh my god.

1:41:24 Lou: Oh my god.

1:41:25 Murph: Having a great dog time but also being devastated.

1:41:28 Brennan: You eat delicious dog food and it's the best. It's the best Christmas that you've had in years, far and away.

1:41:37 Lou: [hands over his heart] Oh my god. Huh.

1:41:41 Brennan: Sofia.

1:41:41 Ally: Wow.

1:41:43 Brennan: For your Christmas.

1:41:43 Emily: Mm-hmm.

1:41:45 Brennan: You see that Jackson says that the monastery doesn't take Christmas off.

1:41:50 Emily: Oh. So I can't even go to my family.

1:41:53 Brennan: You see, he says,

1:41:53 Jackson: You can leave for your own reasons, you can, but we'll be here training.

1:41:58 Sofia: Can I take a half day?

1:41:59 Jackson: You can take a half day.

1:42:01 Emily: All right. I'm just gonna show up at my family's house. I'm still dressed in all black in mourning.

1:42:07 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:42:09 Emily: And I bring an uncooked Christmas goose.

1:42:13 Siobhan: Jesus.

1:42:13 Ricky: That's amazing.

1:42:14 Siobhan: Throw it on the table.

1:42:15 Emily: And then I'm just gonna go in.

1:42:20 Brennan: You head in. You have the most tense family dinner. Everyone, you see—

1:42:27 Emily: I'm there like as an act of defiance. Like that's me being like I'm not scared of you. That's my purpose of going there.

1:42:35 Brennan: It's a mostly silent dinner table. Your dad every once in awhile will be like,

1:42:40 Anthony: Good stuff, uh-huh, it's good.

1:42:42 Emily: Is there, I also wanted to… I don't know if this would work with the Umbral Arcana, but I wanted to use Hellish Rebuke to cook the goose in front of them as like a casual—

1:42:52 Brennan: They don't know what they're looking at, but you see they go like, ah, I guess it was cooked.

1:42:58 Emily: All right, I'll take that. I'll take that minor confusion.

1:43:01 Brennan: They're like a little bit confused. You see that your mom, when you show up, she's the only one who really says anything. As you show up, she says,

1:43:13 Maria: Glad you're here for Christmas, Sof.

1:43:15 Brennan: And about 20 minutes into dinner, she excuses herself and comes back in and has taken off her little Christmas sweater and is wearing a black top.

1:43:23 Emily: Oh my god.

1:43:26 Brennan: You see that—

1:43:26 Emily: I think I'm gonna leave her a little note before I leave. Like a jewelry box that I know my father would never go into. And I'm gonna give her like the number to my new burner phone and I'm just gonna say,

1:43:36 Sofia: I love you, Mom, but I don't trust the rest of the family. This is my new phone number, but it's only for you.

1:43:49 Brennan: After you leave Christmas dinner that night, you get a little text on your phone which is a like, oh and it's like your little burner phone, but you see it's like a photo image of a screen capture of one of those merry Christmas email forwards that moms send. And she sends it to you on your phone.

1:44:10 Emily: I send her a selfie back. A Sofie selfie.

1:44:14 Brennan: You get the response back,

1:44:14 Maria: So cute. Love the hair.

1:44:19 Ally: Sweet.

1:44:20 Brennan: Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Ricky. What are you doing for Christmas? Breakfast with your family?

1:44:27 Zac: Ricky probably did like a early Christmas with his family and then he's at the firehouse, you know, working the like, you know, someone's gotta be working shift. And he probably sent everybody advanced previews of the next year's fireman's calendar.

1:44:43 Ally: Oh.

1:44:43 Emily: Oh my god. If I had known that, I would've just stayed home.

1:44:47 Brennan: Incredible. Oh, I forgot to mention, by the way, Kingston, your Christmas, you're trapped with a lot of your cousins. There's like, it's so full, it's just the most vibrant, like warm, it's like hot in here with all the people. You see that a lot of your friends of the family are talking to you when Pete is around and are mentioning like all the different fields and jobs they work in. And some of them are working at places that are hiring right now.

1:45:17 Lou: I think I'm constantly being like, talking about Pete and how talented he is, and how outgoing he is and his go-getter nature, and the fact that he's in between things right now and that it would be, I don't know. Somebody might be very lucky.

1:45:34 Ally: You look over, I'm in a really puffy sweater and a zebra cowboy hat.

1:45:38 Kingston: Yeah, he just has a ton of personality. I'm telling you right now. I mean, this kid, he walks into a room—

1:45:42 Party Goer: Well, the bookstore, we just need reliability.

1:45:44 Kingston: Well, let me tell you something right now. Your books, what are your sales at the bookstore?

1:45:48 Party Goer: I mean—

1:45:48 Kingston: Double that. [Brennan laughs]

1:45:51 Kingston: Double that. [Emily laughs]

1:45:54 Emily: Wait, what team is your jersey for?

1:45:57 Ally: The Pistons. It's like an old Pistons jersey.

1:46:01 Brennan: Cool. At the firehouse, you see that you guys are having, the Johns are all there. You see that they're making like fire house dinner, you guys are all having your like firefighter secret Santa. You see that probably like the third year in a row, one of the Johns has gotten you "The Four Agreements". The self-help book. And he's like,

1:46:20 Johns: Bro, I'm gonna be honest with you right now, these changed my life.

1:46:25 Ally: That's so fucking funny.

1:46:29 Johns: Dude, your word is impeccable, right? You live by your word.

1:46:31 Ricky: Awesome.

1:46:33 Johns: And you don't take anything personally, 'cause anything that someone does that you feel like offends you, like that's just someone living their truth, living their life, right?

1:46:38 Ricky: Got it. This is a really good gift, thank you.

1:46:41 Johns: Hey, dude, I'm always here for you to talk about your feelings. And John is always here if you need to talk about your feelings. And John is always here if you need someone to talk about your feelings.

1:46:51 Ricky: I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm good right now. I pretty much have said everything I felt every time we talk, dude.

1:46:59 Brennan: You see that one of them puts back a Miller High Life and goes,

1:47:02 Johns: Fuck it, dude. You guys wanna go caroling sometime?

1:47:06 Ricky: I'd love to. [Brennan laughs]

1:47:08 Brennan: You see that all three of them start going like...

1:47:10 Johns: [singing] Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

1:47:12 Ricky and Johns: [singing] Fa la la la la la la la la!

1:47:14 Brennan: You're all just like holding each other and… At that exact moment, you guys are kind of like in the, near where the firetruck is. As you're like holding each other and singing, you see that Esther rounds the corner.

1:47:25 Ricky: Oh, hey.

1:47:26 Johns: Fuck,

1:47:26 Brennan: You see all the Johns,

1:47:26 Johns: Fuck, fuck, fuck. Bail, bail, bail, bail, bail.

1:47:28 Ricky: It's all right, it's okay. Hey, don't bail. Hey, Esther, we're just singing.

1:47:33 Johns: Hey, are you Esther? Hey, my name's John. This is my boy, John, this is my boy, John.

1:47:36 Brennan: And you see that they all go over to Esther. They're like,

1:47:39 Johns: Hey, we're all gonna head up because we are making some eggnog. If you guys want in, holler. If not, that's chill. Later. And you see—

1:47:48 Ricky: Thank you, thank you.

1:47:51 Brennan: You see that Esther has some gift-wrapped presents next to her. And she looks at you and says,

1:47:55 Esther: Hey, Ricky.

1:48:00 Brennan: And she has a little Santa Claus hat on. You see she says,

1:48:03 Esther: Hey, Ricky. I know I should have texted. I was just sort of in the area 'cause I'm sort of on the way to… I'm sorry. Christmas is a hard time of year for me. And I was wondering if I could impose on you, I know, you're obviously working right now. Forget it, I'm sorry.

1:48:22 Ricky: No, no. What's up? What's up? What's up, Esther?

1:48:27 Brennan: Give me a Perception check.

1:48:31 Zac: I got a 18.

1:48:34 Brennan: You see that she has two gifts under her arm and one says ‘for Mom’ and one says ‘for Grandma’.

1:48:40 Ricky: Oh. Do you, I mean, there's, we got everybody here. I could peel off if you need some help with something.

1:48:48 Esther: Yeah. I was just wondering, I know that you, part of you being sort of the champion that you are, it feels good to be around you, magically speaking. Magically speaking. When there are certain arcane forces present. So I was wondering if you could keep company on a little errand that I have to run.

1:49:10 Ricky: Yeah. Awesome.

1:49:11 Esther: Thanks.

1:49:14 Brennan: You head off with her. Do you bring Ox with you or no?

1:49:17 Zac: Yes. [gentle acoustic guitar music]

1:49:17 Brennan: Cool. You guys go along. She walks with you. She's pretty silent for most of the trip.

1:49:26 Ricky: Do, so you're giving some gifts to your grandmother and mom?

1:49:30 Esther: Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

1:49:32 Ricky: It's good to give gifts, right?

1:49:34 Esther: Yeah, obviously. It's important to let people know--

1:49:37 Ricky: Oh, I give her a calendar.

1:49:39 Brennan: She looks at it and goes,

1:49:39 Esther: Oh, wonderf… Hey.

1:49:43 Ricky: Just for the dates and stuff. [Emily laughs uncontrollably]

1:49:46 Ricky: It's good to keep track. I'm not naturally very organized, so it's just I find that it helps me.

1:49:52 Esther: Thank you, Ricky, I appreciate it. Thank you, I appreciate it.

1:49:54 Ally: Good god.

1:49:55 Emily: [laughing to the point of tears] That's so funny.

1:49:56 Brennan: You guys go to the Lower East Side and as you get to the Lower East Side, you head over to Tompkins Square Park. This is like a wild place, and you feel a lot of like, weird magic down here, forces of chaos kind of moving around. But in Tompkins Square Park at the border of Alphabet City, and as you walk into the park, you see there's like a little layer of frost and the trees are bare of leaves. And as you step further in, a small glade appears, sort of grotto in the midst of the park. And as you walk up, you see there are two women standing in the park, clothed in winter robes. One of them is hunched over, leaning on a wooden staff with these white and faded like lavender, icy blue, silvery robes. And you see that the other is standing very tall. Taller than you and Esther. Both women, you immediately recognize as having a family resemblance to Esther. And you see that the tall woman does not hold a staff but instead holds a sort of scepter. This beautiful wrought thing. Her eyes and the eyes of the older woman are completely milky white as though their sight has left their body. You see Esther walks up and puts the gifts down in front of them. The woman who's sort of standing erect, she looks to be sort of not as old as the woman who's hunched over, but sort of, you know, 50s or 60s, something like that. Goes,

1:51:58 Gabriela: You have come again, daughter of sorrow. Your time to join us will come soon.

1:52:10 Brennan: And you see that there is this little sewing wheel next to them, this old school sewing wheel with a little needle pointing out. And you see that she goes,

1:52:19 Gabriela: The time will come where you appear before us. When blood is drawn by the needle, we are complete. The time will come soon for you to join us.

1:52:36 Brennan: You see Esther says,

1:52:36 Esther: [deep breath] Hey, Mom, hey, Grandma. It's Christmas time and I'm not expecting a reaction or a thank you or anything but I want you to know that I defy you, I defy the prophecy, I defy this. I've learned as much magic as I can to make this never happen and Merry Christmas. I love you both very much.

1:53:01 Brennan: And you see she leaves the gifts in front of them. And she walks over, and you see that the two figures don't look menacing at all, and actually bend over as she goes to kiss them each on the cheek. And she turns around and looks at you, the two figures look over at you, Ricky, and kind of regard you coolly. And Esther turns around. Not crying, looks like she's got it together. And goes,

1:53:29 Esther: All right, we can head out, Ricky.

1:53:31 Ricky: I'm Ricky, by the way.

1:53:35 Brennan: You see that the old woman says,

1:53:38 Patricia: [whispering] What darkness lies in the heart of Ricky Matsui? She stretches out a hand and casts something.

1:53:46 Brennan: Esther goes,

1:53:46 Esther: No!

1:53:47 Brennan: And you see that she opens a portal to— light comes out of your heart and she's like,

1:53:52 Patricia: Darkness, reveal itself.

1:53:55 Ricky: So what, um.

1:53:57 Patricia: Where is the dark—? Darkness, reveal.

1:54:01 Ricky: Yeah, let me, I don't know. [looks down at his heart] Is it in there?

1:54:05 Patricia: This normally— [yelling creepily] Darkness, reveal itself!

1:54:10 Zac: I just take a couple steps closer and like. [checks his heart again]

1:54:12 Patricia: Don't help me do this.

1:54:13 Ricky: Oh, okay, yeah.

1:54:15 Patricia: Fine, fine, fine. That's insane. Something's wrong with you. Honestly, that's your darkness is that— that's, that situation's insane.

1:54:26 Ricky: Yeah, okay, got… Do you want a calendar?

1:54:30 Brennan: You see that the, you know, both of them sort of say,

1:54:36 Gabriela and Patricia: Be gone from this place.

1:54:36 Brennan: Speaking in unison. And Esther says,

1:54:38 Esther: Come on, Ricky, let's go.

1:54:39 Brennan: She laughs a little bit and grabs your arm as she walks out. She's like,

1:54:43 Esther: I'm very glad that happened. That's very funny.

1:54:45 Ricky: I fully forgot my jacket. I'm so cold.

1:54:49 Brennan: When you see that she goes,

1:54:49 Esther: Thanks for that. I appreciate it. Do you care to know about what any of that was about or do you?

1:54:59 Ricky: I could go either way. Do you want me to know? 'Cause I don't have to know. But I wanna know if you want me to know.

1:55:06 Brennan: You see, she says,

1:55:06 Esther: Honestly, maybe some other time.

1:55:10 Ricky: Okay.

1:55:11 Esther: Thanks for helping me out.

1:55:11 Ricky: No problem.

1:55:14 Brennan: And she walks away with you. Misty. You have your lovely Christmas, like, probably holiday party people over, yeah.

1:55:21 Sofia: Yeah, I mean, theater people, so many people are from out of town and the show must go on. You know, you don't really get a holiday off. And then I also have one of those trees that's like so tall and so exquisitely decorated and has those like thick ribbons around it.

1:55:39 Ally: Yes, like a mall Christmas tree.

1:55:42 Siobhan: Well, you know, like the Presidential Christmas tree.

1:55:45 Ally: The city's Christmas tree.

1:55:47 Siobhan: Just like, how-- Is it somebody's job that they make these Christmas trees?

1:55:50 Brennan: Yeah, your holiday parties are like the talk of the town. People love these fucking holiday parties. And everyone's having a ball. People are talking, laughing. Alissa's running around, trying to get everything right. You see that Benjamin's talking to Perry. Perry's very excited 'cause the musical's about to open. You see everyone is fucking here. Art luminaries, Stephen Sondheim is here.

1:56:02 Misty: Oh, darling!

1:56:15 Brennan: Stephen goes,

1:56:15 Sondheim: Misty, I understand that you're going to really wow us with this performance. I'm very, very excited for what we're about to see.

1:56:22 Misty: Oh, well darling. Well, I'm just so excited for you to see it because I really think it's some great work. And I really feel like I'm aging into this new thing which is so fun, you know what I mean? Everybody else seems so stressed out about getting old, but I love it. It's just a new aspect of me.

1:56:39 Sondheim: Oh, I couldn't agree more. Age before beauty, as they say.

1:56:43 Misty: Oh, absolutely.

1:56:45 Brennan: Alissa comes up and says,

1:56:45 Alissa: Ms. Moore, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

1:56:49 Misty: Every time, Alissa.

1:56:50 Alissa: I hate myself, I fully hate myself. [nervously laughs]

1:56:55 Misty: You just, all the talking you're doing is wasting more of my time.

1:56:58 Alissa: Help help help. There's some people at the door. They're not on the list but they said that you would know them and they were here for the party.

1:57:06 Misty: Sure. Darling, I'll be right back. Don't worry.

1:57:08 Siobhan: And I go to the door.

1:57:10 Brennan: You see Robert Moses and his four pals at the door. [dark electronic synths, beating heart sound]

1:57:15 Misty: Oh, Robert, so nice to see you. Merry Christmas.

1:57:19 Robert: Merry, Merry Christmas, Ms. Moore. I would come in myself but my friends actually need to be invited in.

1:57:28 Misty: Mnm… Why don't we go up to the roof and have a little chat there?

1:57:33 Robert: Oh, well. After you, Ms. Moore.

1:57:37 Brennan: And he walks up. You go to the roof. You see the other vampires give you a little bit of distance. You see that he lights up a little cigarette and says,

1:57:47 Robert: Smoke?

1:57:49 Misty: No, no, I would never. My voice.

1:57:51 Robert: [smokes] That's right. Well, I heard this was the soiree of the season.

1:57:57 Misty: Yes, it's a thrilling little bash. I do love the holidays. Little sing-song around the piano.

1:58:05 Robert: Yeah.

1:58:06 Misty: Love and joy and peace.

1:58:10 Robert: I thought I'd drop by. That was some showdown at that kid's art party, huh?

1:58:17 Misty: Yes. That building, very dangerous.

1:58:21 Robert: I'd say so.

1:58:22 Misty: A lot of fire.

1:58:26 Robert: I'm a reasonable man and I like to resolve things peacefully where and when I can.

1:58:33 Misty: Well, I'm a reasonable woman and I do love peace, as you know.

1:58:39 Robert: Things are gonna get bad. They're gonna get real bad. I understand what this show is all about that you're doing and I wanna offer to help broker something between you and the fae court, get you out of New York while it's still safe. Misty shakes her head and sighs.

1:59:01 Robert: No punishment, no debt, no nothing. I can make it very easy for you.

1:59:05 Misty: You know, Robert, I love a comedy. And I love a farce. I'd like to remind you of who it is that started this and it's not me and it's not my friends. But I can assure you, Robert Moses, that we will be the ones to end it if you do not. Do you understand me?

1:59:28 Robert: Clear as crystal.

1:59:29 Brennan: He flicks the cigarette butt away.

1:59:32 Robert: Merry Christmas, Misty.

1:59:33 Misty: Merry Christmas to you and to you, a good night.

1:59:37 Brennan: They vanish. [exuberant jazzy showtunes]

1:59:40 Brennan: It's the day of Misty's opening! Oh my god, the musical! It's happening.

1:59:47 Siobhan: I've given away so many free tickets at this point that there are some people that are—

1:59:50 Brennan: Who are the people that you've, actually, give me a quick list of who you've invited.

1:59:53 Siobhan: Oh, honestly, I don't remember who I gave—

1:59:58 Brennan: Oh, incredible.

1:59:58 Siobhan: Everybody we met, I feel like I gave tickets to.

2:00:00 Brennan: A shit-load of people are here. All of you guys are here for Misty's big night.

2:00:05 Siobhan: I have like three rows of tickets that are all my guests.

2:00:08 Brennan: Perfect, perfect, perfect.

2:00:09 Emily: I did put on, even though I'm in mourning and I'm trying to be an ascetic monk, I did go out and buy a really tight black dress for this. [all chuckling]

2:00:18 Brennan: You guys watch, the play starts. It's on Broadway, the lights. You go through the lobby. The little sippy cups of wine. Beautiful old theater. Cherubs and unicorn stone. In box seats, incredible. Misty, you see that Stephen Sondheim winks at you and says,

2:00:33 Sondheim: Knock 'em dead. I'm excited. You see, break a leg.

2:00:40 Misty: Such a fan.

2:00:42 Brennan: The first act, Misty fucking kills it. The ritual's going off without a hitch. Intermission, you guys are all out in the lobby.

2:00:50 Kingston: Some hell of a show, right?

2:00:51 Pete: Yeah.

2:00:51 Kingston: Not bad. Misty's good.

2:00:55 Pete: Misty's really good.

2:00:56 Kingston: Like, I know she's good, but she's good.

2:00:59 Pete: I grew up watching musicals on Broadway and stuff, it's so fun--

2:01:01 Ricky: It's my first play.

2:01:04 Pete: Really?

2:01:04 Ricky: Yeah.

2:01:04 Pete: Wow.

2:01:05 Kingston: How long have you been in the city?

2:01:07 Ricky: My life. [all laughing]

2:01:10 Brennan: The second half starts up. Misty, you're in costumes to town, you're killing it. It's the showstopper number, and you see that Alissa comes over and says,

2:01:17 Alissa: All right, I know you're about to go on, everything's in place. It's all done, sconces, the holly, the saucer of milk. And the mirror, I have the mirror in place.

2:01:26 Misty: No no no, what mirror? No.

2:01:29 Alissa: The standing mirror from your room.

2:01:30 Misty: No.

2:01:30 Alissa: You said to put it… Wasn't that supposed to come here to the play?

2:01:34 Misty: No, absolutely not. It was supposed to go to storage.

2:01:36 Crew: Misty, five, four, three, two, go, go.

2:01:39 Misty: [singing] Uh

2:01:40 Brennan: You step onstage. As you guys see Misty comes out and belts the opening notes to this thing, the mirror is back in the set dressing. All of you guys see [lips vibrating]. The mirror begins to glow. From the wings, you guys see in their own box seat, Don Confetti and his pixies all look around and go, 'cause they're great supporters of the arts, all kind of making eyes at you in the first half of the show, all look at it and go,

2:02:07 Pixies: Holy shit. Holy shit, holy shit.

2:02:12 Brennan: You see Don Confetti goes,

2:02:12 Don Confetti: Oh no. The greatest disaster I can imagine. This is horrible.

2:02:20 Brennan: The mirror glows. [lips vibrating] The Lady Titania, and a host of Seelie warriors steps through the mirror. I'm gonna need all of you to roll Initiative.

2:02:34 Siobhan: Talk about stage effects.

2:02:37 Emily: Oh.

2:02:38 Brennan: And that's all for this episode of "The Unsleeping City". Tune in next week. Zac points at the initiative rolls on the table.

2:02:39 Ally: Fuck, no.

2:02:40 Brennan: As the show must go on.

2:02:45 Murph: Two 1’s?

2:02:45 Ally: Two nat 1’s. [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 12: Broadway Brawl] [NEXT TIME ON DIMENSION 20]

2:02:47 Brennan: You find ourselves opening night with Misty Moore taking the stage.

2:02:52 Don Confetti: Holy shit, it's the Lady Titania back again.

2:02:55 Pete: What the fuck do we do?

2:02:57 Misty: Let's kill Titania.

2:02:58 Brennan: You're hitting her. In the middle of a jump.

2:03:00 Emily: Foom, boom, boom, boom.

2:03:02 Brennan: You are lit the fuck up this round.

2:03:05 Lou: What are you even doing, dude?

2:03:07 Ally: You're sick.

2:03:08 Lou: Stop this guy.

2:03:10 Brennan: If this ritual doesn't go off without a hitch, it's the end of your reincarnations.

2:03:10 Edited by: gluegunshots, Tillie the Paladin, rowan solsys