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A Warm Heart and a Tombstone
What happens
- 00:00:53 Brennan's welcome; recap (recap): the party left the City of Chimneys under the gibbous moon toward Snow White's encampment, having met the Big Bad Wolf and learned secrets of this being of death; they found the Baron of Bricks' correspondence (the Council of Kings, the Mer-King searching for his daughter, spotted at a place Pinocchio recognized from Toy Island), communed with the Gander, and the Wolf said he alone might track the house of the Baba Yaga; at the tavern they shared apps with Arzt, Mürrisch and Schläfrig; the dwarfs carry a chest holding the death of the knight Koschei, who will fight on the Tsar of Snowhold's side tomorrow; Rosamund revealed herself as a princess and the dwarfs agreed to take her to their princess, Snow White, who had been searching for her (00:01:04, 00:03:05).
- 00:04:02 Travelling through the night, the party comes to a ridge crowned with evergreens and sees dozens of tents with banners and all lights killed; a History check; no campfires and no sentries; one cream-white tent with silver brocade and red stripes, a small lantern lit inside (00:04:02, 00:05:10, 00:05:27).
- 00:06:03 Going down: Arzt says no vouching is needed; Pib notes the ways out of the camp; Ylfa moves her guard duty to Rosamund; Mother Goose takes a swig and casts Expeditious Retreat; Rosamund sends a sparrow (Speak with Animals) to keep watch; goodberries are shared; Gerard draws the Sword of Veritas and sees two spectral dwarf sentries (00:06:18, 00:06:27, 00:06:41, 00:06:53, 00:07:01, 00:07:20, 00:07:43).
- 00:08:30 Last Constitution saves of the snow journey; Rosamund is at the second level of exhaustion and her speed is halved; the party goes to the central tent and a dwarf announces them (00:08:41, 00:09:07, 00:09:21, 00:09:57).
- 00:10:05 Snow White is revealed in the tent; Rosamund asks for a blanket; Snow White's skeletal sparrows scuttle out of the chest; a rug becomes Rosamund's cloak; Snow White embraces her; introductions; Ylfa's "big teeth" exchange; Snow White asks whether "my darling sister" passed along a parcel and Rosamund says she threw it at a very mean mom (00:13:44, 00:13:50); Snow White's stories of waking from poison and the glass coffin (00:10:05, 00:11:41, 00:12:19, 00:12:43, 00:13:07, 00:13:44, 00:14:39, 00:16:19).
- 00:15:07 Snow White on the war: the fairies are trying to return the Neverafter to the path of destiny; she has lost to them in two or three worlds; Cinderella is on the way with reinforcements; the fairies are soft and divided; Snow White and Rosamund talk about taking charge and making choices (00:15:33, 00:17:06, 00:18:10, 00:19:13).
- 00:20:07 What she wants: to prevent creation from being returned to what was intended; she would not go back to sleep (00:20:11, 00:20:56).
- 00:21:19 The chest: Arzt kneels and reports they retrieved Koschei's death; the party remarks on the smell; Snow White blesses the find as true; the three dwarfs hand over their cloaks, turn translucent and sink away; potato skins were in the cloaks (00:21:27, 00:22:22, 00:22:48, 00:23:14).
- 00:23:44 Snow White on the worlds: death is a passageway; Cinderella is gathering princesses in the world where the party first met her; the party could return to that world but would need bodies; she thanks the party for bettering the Baron of Bricks (00:24:13, 00:25:07, 00:26:23).
- 00:26:36 Snow White's business in Snowhold, the Baron and the Council of Kings; Pib's and Rosamund's Insight checks; Ylfa tells how the Baron boiled the god of death, "whom you may know as the Big Bad Wolf", in a stew and fed on his essence; Rosamund tells how she got into the castle by offering marriage (00:26:36, 00:27:13, 00:29:16, 00:29:57).
- 00:30:57 Pib hands Snow White the Baron's letters; Gerard's "promise not to be mad" and Ylfa's question about Princess Elody; Snow White names Elody, Cinderella, Rapunzel and the Beast; Cinderella is from the world where the party's adventures started and Snow White is from another (00:30:59, 00:31:55, 00:32:12).
- 00:33:13 The Tsar of Snowhold will appear at dawn with Koschei; the chest makes it effortless for Koschei to die; Snow White's plan: defeat the tsar, then address the Snow Queen; fairy numbers differ between worlds; the fairies share one source of power, perhaps destiny itself (00:33:13, 00:33:34, 00:34:00, 00:34:59).
- 00:35:05 The Authors whispered; Pinocchio asks Cricket whether his power comes from destiny; Mother Goose gives him a hand mirror (00:35:05, 00:35:29, 00:36:23).
- 00:37:41 Snow White asks Pinocchio to cast a spell (Create Bonfire near Rosamund); her Arcana check; "You're not a fairy. But you're wielding a fairy's magic."; Pinocchio and Pib on friendship; Snow White closes the book and says it "was not written in this world"; Murph's Help attempt with Pinocchio's book (00:38:34) (00:37:46, 00:38:03, 00:38:44, 00:38:57, 00:39:28, 00:40:48).
- 00:41:04 The Lines Between, Aesop and Scheherazade described; Snow White says Elody may have mentioned Scheherazade's name to Cinderella (00:41:24); Snow White had no idea what the place was; she sees that Pinocchio's book is a "piece of physical destiny written down"; Gerard warns of the consuming faction and the writing faction; Mother Goose holds up paper with the name and Snow White reacts (00:41:19, 00:42:17, 00:42:58, 00:43:22).
- 00:44:01 The Stepmother: Snow White cannot remember her stepmother's name; Pinocchio tells her the Stepmother "crawls around in between the books and reaches in and rips people's parents out and consumes them" and that a fairy scratched her eyes out (00:44:49, 00:45:03); the party explains the Stepmother and the fairies are at cross purposes (00:44:08, 00:44:49, 00:45:35).
- 00:46:12 Snow White's visions in her mirror: a castle of text; she assumed it was in the Neverafter; Mother Goose explains how they got there ("I held my dead son's bones, and then I asked a duck for power"); in her visions seven princesses are needed (00:46:12, 00:46:37, 00:47:44, 00:48:18).
- 00:48:39 Count of princesses: four on the way, Snow White, Rosamund; the party knows the princess by the sea is on Toy Island; Snow White's plan for retrieving the mermaid; Gerard learns he must go to Toy Island (00:48:42, 00:48:50, 00:49:18).
- 00:49:56 Gerard's promise not to get mad; Ylfa's question about Elody; Rosamund reveals "He's her husband"; Gerard's marriage "in shambles", which he blames on the wars and separation; Snow White says that in this version of her story she has "literally never even had a boyfriend" and that she needs to wake up the ghosts (00:51:00, 00:51:06); Mother Goose casts Cure Wounds and Bless (00:50:08, 00:50:18, 00:50:32).
- 00:51:06 Pinocchio's joke "A warm heart and a tombstone!" (Performance 25); Snow White cackles (00:51:23, 00:51:33, 00:51:42).
- 00:51:57 Pib asks about the giants; the Snow Queen, a witch with a relationship to the giants; Snow White's view of witches; Pib's home Marienne fell to giants but Brennan describes a corrupted memory (00:52:06, 00:52:52, 00:53:27, 00:53:57).
- 00:54:52 Snow White's thanks; Mother Goose recounts his two wishes; Snow White tells Mother Goose that his wish makes him the one who "carry the key to ending the times of shadow" and holds "the key to reality" (00:55:46, 00:56:02); Snow White offers to caretake the book and Mother Goose declines; "Everyone say desire three times" (00:55:27, 00:55:46, 00:56:39, 00:56:51, 00:57:05).
- 00:57:39 The Northern Wind: Snow White calls to the oldest of four brothers to take the party to the island of toys; the party is lifted and flown for about a day and a half (00:58:03, 00:58:15, 00:59:30, 01:00:21).
- 01:00:56 Cricket and Mother Goose have bowel trouble; Brennan calls max falling damage and a DC 12 Dexterity save for the water landing; Pinocchio's Eldritch Blast "Triple X" and Misty Step; damage totals; Ylfa goes down and is revived with a goodberry (01:01:55, 01:02:02, 01:02:25, 01:03:11, 01:03:29, 01:04:04).
- 01:04:11 Toy Island seen from the sea: an artificial floating town on canoes and pontoons; sign; tinny music; few people; Pinocchio notes it is "jankier" than in his story (01:04:11, 01:05:42).
- 01:06:28 Perception 21 for "the nature of the jank"; Pib asks Gerard, who is a frog ("I know you don't love being a frog", 01:08:23), to look underwater; Gerard dives and finds the anchor chains slack; the party climbs onto the island (01:06:49, 01:06:58, 01:08:43, 01:09:34).
- 01:09:34 Exploring: Investigation rolls; congealed grease with dead crabs and a gray hot dog; noisemakers; a ramshackle shed with an alarm bell; the party takes a short rest (01:09:48, 01:10:29, 01:11:15, 01:13:23).
- 01:13:35 Pinocchio's natural 20 Perception; hot dogs under a tilted crate on a fishing line; Candlewick springs the trap ("I'm gonna eat ya!"), poison gas in the crate; Candlewick is revealed as a feral grown man in a boy's sailor outfit (01:13:52, 01:14:31, 01:16:04, 01:17:00).
- 01:17:52 Pinocchio and Candlewick talk: "five days", bubblegum pancakes, the Coachman, the quiet pirate near Bart's Funnel Cake and Cigar Shop; Deception 17; Candlewick follows Pinocchio back (01:18:04, 01:20:23, 01:21:05, 01:21:29, 01:22:28, 01:23:26).
- 01:24:14 Pinocchio casts Invisibility on Candlewick; Candlewick strikes Gerard for 13 with a table leg; initiative; Rosamund grapples him (Athletics 4 against his 2); Ylfa punches him unconscious (01:24:20, 01:25:02, 01:25:25, 01:25:43, 01:26:28).
- 01:27:12 Argument over Pinocchio's Invisibility; the Sword of Veritas says the hot dogs are "Technically, donkey!"; Pinocchio remembers the quiet pirate (01:28:03, 01:28:09, 01:28:40).
- 01:29:22 Candlewick is rolled in the rug, his nails cut; he wakes; Mother Goose cuts his hair (Performance 8); Candlewick's talk of teachers, bones and "secret meat" (01:30:23, 01:30:44, 01:31:43, 01:32:08, 01:33:01).
- 01:33:22 Cricket: "We need to X Candlewick"; Mother Goose's book accepts him (15) and he goes into Pinocchio's book in golden light; Pinocchio explains the boy he was (01:33:22, 01:34:04, 01:35:13, 01:35:27).
- 01:36:20 Walking to Bart's Funnel Cake; Gerard's Second Wind; Pinocchio's book keeps glowing and one string is taut (Arcana 18); Brennan: the book has decided "some part of your story is going to happen, and you don't get a say in it" (01:37:16); the sun fades (01:36:13, 01:36:52, 01:37:15).
- 01:38:02 Perception rolls; at the dock a woman with a bandana rolls bones among donkey bones; Insight checks; she whips around with a hand on a sword (01:38:05, 01:38:48, 01:38:50).
- 01:39:20 Rosamund and Mother Goose declare themselves; Rosamund puts down her bow; the woman holds a red X over her throat; Mother Goose uses Message and she answers as Mira (01:39:20, 01:39:40, 01:40:14, 01:40:33).
- 01:41:03 Mira: she hides from her father; she wishes to go to land; the party conveys the situation (01:41:19, 01:41:27, 01:42:11).
- 01:42:24 Mira's story: lost voice, painful steps, unloved by the person she loved, her enraged father, a name too terrible to speak, the banished sea witch; she will come with them; she cannot touch the water because of her father's spell (01:42:24, 01:43:30, 01:43:46).
- 01:44:11 The party moves to leave; the Mer-King says "I think going is out of the question!" and bursts from the ocean with his soldiers; Brennan ends the game (01:44:16, 01:44:26).
- 01:44:47 Next-time preview (not lore of this episode) (01:44:47).
Frames
Key quotes
- “I can't ever not be cold, and so I don't bring them.” — Snow White 0:11:31
- “Did you wake yourself up from being poisoned?” — Rosamund 0:14:35
- “I would not have chosen to have lost all the things that I lost.” — Snow White 0:20:56
- “Oh, it makes it quite effortless for him to die.” — Snow White 0:33:34
- “It is itself a piece of physical destiny written down” — Brennan 0:42:17
- “Do you know of the princess by the sea?” — Snow White 0:48:50
- “Pinocchio feels nothing. This is honestly a shitton of fun for Pinocchio.” — Lou 1:00:14
- “The teeth are soft.” — Candlewick 1:18:22
- “I know where the princess is!” — Pinocchio 1:28:40
- “I am hiding from my father.” — Mira 1:41:19
Who and what appears
Player characters
- Mother Timothy Goose
- Pinocchio
- Prince Gerard of Greenleigh
- Princess Rosamund du Prix
- Puss in Boots
- Ylfa Snorgelsson
NPCs
- A dwarf
- Alba Mac Lir
- Arzt
- Baba Yaga
- Bart
- Candlewick
- Cinderella
- Koschei the Deathless
- La Bête
- Mira
- Mürrisch and Schläfrig
- Princess Elody of Greenleigh
- Rapunzel
- Skeletal sparrows
- Slappy
- Snow White
- Talking Cricket
- The Baron of Bricks
- The Coachman
- The Gander
- The Mer-King
- The North Wind
- The Snow Queen
- The Stepmother
- The Tsar of Snowhold
- The quiet pirate
- The sparrow
- Turquina
Locations
- Bart's Funnel Cake and Cigar Shop
- Marienne
- Reverie
- Slappy's Bubblegum and Whiskey
- Snow White's tent
- Snowhold
- The circus area at the water level
- The ridge and Snow White's camp
- Toy Island
Items and artifacts
- Candlewick's weapon
- Goodberry (Neverafter)
- Koschei's death
- Mira's bag of toys and red X block
- Mother Goose's book
- Noisemakers/rattles
- Pinocchio's book
- Snow White's tiara
- Sword of Veritas
- The Baron's letters
- The carpet/rug
- The dwarfs' cloaks
- The hand mirror
- The hot dogs
- Whiskey and bubblegum
Factions and organizations
Roll log
| Time | Character (player) | Roll | Result | DC / AC | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00:05:07 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | History | 2 | — | not recalled |
| 00:05:07 | Mother Goose (Ally) | History [?] | "22" garbled in the line | — | notices no fires or sentries |
| 00:08:41 | Gerard (Murph) | Constitution save | "Dirty 20" | — | — |
| 00:08:41 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Constitution save | 9 | — | second level of exhaustion |
| 00:08:45 | Ylfa (Emily) | Constitution save | 11 | — | — |
| 00:08:45 | Pib (Zac) | Constitution save | 10 | — | — |
| 00:08:46 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Constitution save | 7; with a Bardic die "that turns me to 14" | — | — |
| 00:08:48 | Mother Goose (Ally) | Constitution save | 22 | — | — |
| 00:09:19 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Constitution save, second roll | 17; pass not stated | — | — |
| 00:27:13 | Pib (Zac) | Insight | 19 | — | no lie heard |
| 00:27:14 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Insight | 13 | — | — |
| 00:38:44 | Snow White (Brennan) | Arcana, with Help | 15 on the die, plus Arcana | — | "You're not a fairy." |
| 00:39:40 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Insight (on being Pib's best friend) | "an unnatural 20" | — | Brennan: it is true |
| 00:51:33 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Performance | 25 | — | Snow White cackles |
| 01:02:25 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Eldritch Blast attack on the water, Cricket helps | 18 on the die | — | 2d10, 15 damage |
| 01:02:44 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Dexterity save, advantage | 24 | 12 | — |
| 01:03:16 | Mother Goose (Ally) | Dexterity save | 9 | 12 | fails; Ylfa takes his damage |
| 01:03:29 | Party | North Wind landing damage | 37 to five of them; 72 to Ylfa | — | Rosamund at 2 hit points; Ylfa goes down |
| 01:06:49 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Perception (the jank), Pib helps | 21 | — | no braying |
| 01:08:43 | Gerard (Murph) | Perception, underwater | 11 | — | anchor chains slack |
| 01:09:48 | Ylfa (Emily) | Investigation | 12 | — | finds a rattle |
| 01:09:50 | Gerard (Murph) | Investigation | "dirty 20" | — | — |
| 01:09:50 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Investigation | "dirty 20" | — | — |
| 01:09:55 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Investigation | 17 | — | gray hot dog |
| 01:11:45 | Mother Goose (Ally) | Investigation | 21 | — | — |
| 01:12:22 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Stealth | 14 | — | — |
| 01:12:23 | Pib (Zac) | Stealth | 24 | — | — |
| 01:13:52 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Perception | natural 20 | — | sees the fishing line and barrels |
| 01:22:28 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Deception | 17 | — | Candlewick rolled a nat 20 on Insight (Brennan, 01:25:27) |
| 01:25:25 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Initiative | 25 ("I crit") | — | acts |
| 01:25:25 | Gerard (Murph) | Initiative | 19 | — | — |
| 01:25:02 | Candlewick (Brennan) | attack on Gerard | 13 damage | — | table leg |
| 01:25:43 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Athletics (Grapple) | 4 | against Candlewick's 2 | grapples him |
| 01:32:24 | Mother Goose (Ally) | Performance (haircut) | 8 total (3 on the die) | — | Candlewick sees "a terrible man" |
| 01:34:04 | Mother Goose (Ally) | proficiency + Charisma, book | 15 | — | book reflects to Pinocchio's |
| 01:37:15 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Arcana | 18 | — | taut string |
| 01:38:02 | Ylfa (Emily) | Perception | "dirty 20" | — | — |
| 01:38:04 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Perception | 15 | — | — |
| 01:38:04 | Mother Goose (Ally) | Perception | 26 | — | — |
| 01:38:48 | Pinocchio (Lou) | Insight | 4 | — | — |
| 01:38:48 | Rosamund (Siobhan) | Insight | "dirty 20" | — | reads Mira's pain |
Natural 20s: Pinocchio 1 (Perception), Candlewick 1 (Insight, as Brennan says). Natural 1s: none said.