Daddies & Demons

0:00:01 Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 14: Daddies & Demons < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] > Everyone yells excitedly. [Upbeat fantasy music plays]

0:00:02 Brennan: Hello and welcome back to Dimension 20 Live, presents Fantasy High Sophomore Year. I'm your humble game master Brennan Lee Mulligan and with me as always our intrepid heroes. Laughter from players can be heard throughout.

0:00:09 Brennan: Say “hi”, intrepid heroes! A chorus of and laughter and greetings ensues.

0:00:14 Brennan: Ooh, wonderful.

0:00:16 Emily: Little beans!

0:00:16 Siobhan: Lil’ beans.

0:00:16 Ally: Lil’ beans.

0:00:18 Brennan: Again, I'll tell you what, we got a couple little announcements here today. A couple promo things. Our side quest Tiny Heist: The finale of Tiny Heist comes out in a couple of hours! Players clap and cheer.

0:00:32 Brennan: Five hours from right now, the finale of Tiny Heist with our friends Jess Ross and Lily Du, and the entire McElroy family, is playing it. And the thrilling conclusion premieres tonight, so make sure to check that out. If you've been waiting to binge it, you could binge it starting at midnight Pacific tonight. Also, a very special trailer just might be appearing on the Dimension 20 YouTube channel sometime in the next week.

0:00:46 Ally: Wait..

0:00:54 Lou: What?

0:01:01 Zac: What?

0:01:01 Brennan: You guys are going to truly lose your god damn minds.

0:01:06 Lou: What?

0:01:06 Brennan: So--

0:01:07 Ally: Wait, are you serious? We did not know about this.

0:01:10 Brennan: Oh, I am quite--

0:01:10 Lou: What are you talking about?

0:01:11 Brennan: I am quite serious.

0:01:12 Siobhan: This is the first we're hearing about this.

0:01:15 Brennan: I tried to look at it today--

0:01:16 Siobhan: This is a real time reaction.

0:01:18 Brennan: It is bananas! It is fucking bananas. So head over to Dimension 20 YouTube Channel, make sure to subscribe to the channel, and also ring that bell so you get notifications 'cause you're gonna see a bunch of awesome stuff, specifically next week. Boy howdy, get ready gang. Also something fun for all you, listen, it's no secret that Dimension 20 has got the best fans in the entire world. Players cheer and clap.

0:01:43 Brennan: You guys truly, you're the reason that we're here and able to do this and they're doing a cool little thing now. We're right in the middle of Gilear Week baby! A mixture of cheering and groaning ensues.

0:01:53 Brennan: #Gilearweek on Twitter and Tumblr and any place where fanart and fanfiction is created and designed, celebrating Fantasy High's very favorite sad dad. So you can go and engage with your fellow fans and see all the awesome stuff they're doing, up to and including hot Gilear, which is--

0:02:11 Siobhan: Wow

0:02:11 Ally: Nooo...

0:02:11 Lou: Doesn’t exist.

0:02:13 Ally: Temperature wise?

0:02:13 Lou: Exactly! He's just wearing like a swimsuit?

0:02:15 Zac: Is he burned?

0:02:17 Siobhan: Yes, it's 35 degrees centigrade outside and he's steamin’. Turning down that thermostat.

0:02:22 Brennan: Listen, there is a point where the stories leave our authorship and enter the world of how they exist amongst the people that cherish them, and if they determine that Gilear is hot, no matter how hard we try, we may not be able to stop them.

0:02:37 Siobhan: I think, fan artists, your aim this week is to draw a Gilear that is so hot that even Lou is convinced of Hot Gilear. Group laughs.

0:02:44 Lou: Literally, science could not do that. There's no--

0:02:50 Brennan: The challenge has been put forth.

0:02:51 Emily: I'm rooting hard for Hot Gilear. I believe it.

0:02:55 Lou: I'm gonna start a Twitter account just to evaluate Hot Gilear fan art. Group laughs.

0:02:59 Ally: Do it.

0:03:00 Brennan: Incredible, we have our first--

0:03:02 Siobhan: Why do you have a finsta? Well, lemme tell you.

0:03:05 Kristen: Gilear's pouty lips.

0:03:07 Brennan: Speaking of Hot Gilear, Gilear's feeling pretty hot right now on the first circle of hell.

0:03:11 Siobhan: Smokin’.

0:03:15 Zac: Clean, solid segue. Players laugh.

0:03:17 Brennan: Honestly, that wasn't planned.

0:03:20 Ally: Ten out of ten.

0:03:23 Brennan: Heyyy. [in raspy, sinister voice] Smoke rises from craters across the blasted plane of Avernus. A sky of flame, roiling sea of horror burning to the edges of the horizon. Aloft in the sky, a whirling orifice of flame and smoke deposits an endless stream of screaming, mutilated souls that falls forever into the Bottomless Pit where the spiral descending trail leads to wrought iron gates. [ordinary voice] The dwelling place and dominion of the absent Gorthalax the Insatiable. Last week on Dimension 20, our party was split! Fig, Riz, Gilear, and the Hangman were deposited on one side of hellish portal for a tribunal to discuss the absence of Gorthalax the Insatiable by several devilish potentates, and a recess was called because amazingly Fig, in an ongoing streak of Fig telling the truth very persuasively--

0:04:37 Emily: Don't get used to it. Players laugh.

0:04:41 Brennan: --told them that Gorthalax the Insatiable was trapped in a gem. So there was a recess called and the four of them are under house arrest, while the rest of our bad kids are still in Arborly, the wood elf and gnomish community at the edge of the Forest of the Nightmare King on their quest to retrieve the Nightmare King's crown. You see deep in the Bottomless Pit that our four companions: the Hangman, Riz, Fig, and Gilear, sort of have the run of the place to themselves as the tribunal is taking care of some business and doing some research in interim.

0:05:22 Emily: Wait, aren't there five, isn't there Ret-ro?

0:05:25 Brennan: Wretchrot, yes. Emily laughs.

0:05:27 Brennan: For those at home, Wretchrot is spelled W-R-E-T-C-H-R-O-T. Literally the words “wretch” and “rot” put together. Wretchrot, who is a horrifying little scorpion tailed imp made of Fig's own blood. Emily laughs.

0:05:42 Ally: [burying their face in their hands] I forgot about that.

0:05:45 Brennan: Begins to-- Also his wings are much smaller than his body, so there's a lot of him flying and kind of like, dragging--

0:05:53 Emily: Is he kind of like a penguin, he can't fly?

0:05:54 Murph: Is he kind of hovering?

0:05:55 Brennan: Yeah, he's mostly hovering. It seems like he needs some added propulsion from like, whipping his tail back and forth. The wings are just kind of enough to keep him aloft.

0:06:03 Emily: This tracks, that this would come from me. Group laughs.

0:06:06 Brennan: And you see he says,

0:06:09 Wretchrot: (high pitched, hyena-like voice) Ah, mistress of the pit! And your friends and companions. I see you have a most fearsome goblin. Riz hisses. Wretchrot shrieks.

0:06:22 Wretchrot: I have been frightened by his fearsome hiss.

0:06:25 Fig: Yeah, Riz has got a pretty mean hiss.

0:06:29 Wretchrot: To where would I show you in this, the demesne of your father.

0:06:34 Fig: Well I guess, is there like a balcony that looks over all the murderers and liars plummeting into their death?

0:06:42 Wretchrot: A what?

0:06:42 Fig: A balcony.

0:06:44 Brennan: You're sort of walking down this ledge where there's no railing, there's no--

0:06:49 Fabian: Just somewhere you could like, smoke a cigarette and set up a quick teen zone or anything like that?

0:06:54 Wretchrot: You're looking for the teen zone of the Bottomless Pit?

0:06:57 Fig: [laughing] Metaphorically.

0:06:59 Wretchrot: Perhaps, yes.

0:07:02 Brennan: You see that Wretchrot says,

0:07:02 Wretchrot: A couple of levels down, right this way!

0:07:08 Brennan: And begins to circle you down the Bottomless Pit. As you travel further and further, you see there's no railing anywhere on the ledge so you just get to a place where there's a little kind of stony jut that you can come out here. You see that Wretchrot says,

0:07:25 Wretchrot: You might imagine that safety regulations are very minimal here in the furnace. No railings or anything like that.

0:07:34 Fig: We'll take care, you good Riz?

0:07:36 Riz: Yeah, I'm extremely careful.

0:07:38 Fig: Do we need him to sign something?

0:07:40 Wretchrot: [slyly]...Yes.

0:07:41 Fig: Wait, no, no, no, no.

0:07:41 Riz: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

0:07:43 Wretchrot: [unconvincingly] No, there's a waiver!

0:07:47 Fig: Bad baby!

0:07:47 Brennan: You see a little contract appear in his hands.

0:07:47 Fig: Bad baby!

0:07:48 Wretchrot: No-- What? [crying]

0:07:49 Riz: You’re a bad-- You’re a bad baby.

0:07:52 Brennan: He flies off and cries over by the wall.

0:07:54 Lou: Bad baby?

0:07:57 Riz: Hangman? The Hangman roars.

0:07:57 Riz: Do you think I might actually be safer sleeping here [whispering] with the demon in my head? ‘Cause the devils?

0:08:09 Hangman: It may well be. If the Shadow Cat has some ways to defend herself from the eyes of the arch devils then maybe you would be safer with her present.

0:08:22 Fig: Wait, what are you implying?

0:08:23 Riz: I'm saying maybe Shadow Cat can't mess with me here?

0:08:27 Fig: Can't mess with you here?

0:08:28 Riz: I don't know.

0:08:30 Brennan: You see that--

0:08:31 Fig: Oh, I hadn't even considered that.

0:08:33 Riz: Yeah, I might just not sleep. [chuckling nervously]

0:08:36 Fig: No! You should definitely sleep. I mean, if you wanna stay up all night that's also cool. Players laugh.

0:08:41 Brennan: Gilear speaks up and says,

0:08:41 Gilear: I’ve had a moment to process and I want to apologize. Back there in the courtr-- I know the reason I'm here was sort of to help with legal stuff and I kind of, I honestly choked back there."

0:08:59 Fig: [laughing] You kinda did.

0:09:01 Gilear: The motorcycle was a bigger help than me by pretty considerable distance. Players laugh.

0:09:08 Fig: [warmly] It's okay Gilear.

0:09:10 Gilear: I appreciate that, I am... actively looking for opportunities to be of more use. So, very well.

0:09:18 Fig: [cheerfully] Yeah, you're always of use.

0:09:20 Brennan: Hangman goes, Hangman growls.

0:09:23 Hangman: [doubtfully] Hmm.

0:09:26 Fig: [confused] Uh, you are too Hangman?

0:09:28 Hangman: Oh, I was not fishing for a compliment but that's actually very meaningful.

0:09:32 Riz: I think Hangman was just being mean.

0:09:33 Fig: So many sensitive egos here.

0:09:34 Brennan: You see that Wretchrot looks and and says,

0:09:37 Wretchrot: I do not know of what use the sad elf is, but I will say: Very wise to bring a blood pet with you here to the first level. Surely there is much blood in his body! Lou laughs.

0:09:50 Fig: Much blood in whose body?

0:09:53 Riz: [chuckling] Gilear's?

0:09:54 Fig: Okay, baby, that is not-- Players laugh.

0:09:59 Wretchrot: I'm sorry, is my new name Baby?

0:10:02 Fig: [laughing] I'm not trying for it to be.

0:10:04 Wretchrot: Okay.

0:10:06 Zac: You called him Baby twice.

0:10:07 Siobhan: Seems like it's that.

0:10:08 Ally: Yeah, I mean it's absolutely Baby from now on. That’s canon.

0:10:11 Siobhan: Seems like it.

0:10:12 Wretchrot: Would you like to wrap me in a swaddling cloth?

0:10:15 Fig: No! 'Cause that will only solidify the baby thing, which I'm gonna try my best not to say. The blood is off limits in this party, okay? If you need to feed anyone you come get it from me.

0:10:28 Brennan: [excited shrieking] --and just bites into your hand.

0:10:31 Wretchrot: [slurping] This is the stuff I'm made of!

0:10:34 Fig: Oh-ho, wow. Lou laughs heartily. Other players chuckle uncomfortably.

0:10:37 Lou: Oh, god! So messed up.

0:10:42 Riz: Wretchrot, are there any highlights of Gorthalax?

0:10:47 Wretchrot: Yes, many highlights there are! I would be happy to show you rooms of treasure. Dark studies with ancient grimoires and tomes!

0:10:57 Fig: Yeah.

0:10:57 Riz: The tomes, yeah.

0:10:58 Fig: Yeah, lets go to the--

0:11:00 Brennan: You see that Wretchrot begins to fly you down.

0:11:04 Fig: Riz, I have a question.

0:11:05 Riz: What's up?

0:11:06 Fig: I... was wondering if we should, I was wondering if-- 'cause they took a recess, right?

0:11:09 Riz: Uh-huh.

0:11:13 Fig: I haven't been really paying that much attention to the lore, I've been kind of busy.

0:11:17 Riz: What?

0:11:17 Fig: I haven't really been--

0:11:19 Riz: You took us to hell.

0:11:20 Fig: I know but you and Adaine have been doing all this research, I haven't been paying a ton of attention. So I need to run this by you.

0:11:26 Riz: Okay. Group laughs.

0:11:28 Riz: I wish we didn't come to hell!

0:11:30 Hangman: [gruffly] Why don't you just give up the info, you narc? Players laugh.

0:11:32 Riz: What?

0:11:34 Hangman: You’re a little nerd! Tell the cool girl about your nerd things and words.

0:11:36 Riz: [laughing] I’m not a, I’m not a n--

0:11:39 Fig: Yeah, thanks Hangman!

0:11:40 Hangman: I... I hate when The Ball rides on me.

0:11:45 Fig: Well, play your cards right and I'll make sure he doesn't.

0:11:47 Hangman: Haha! Yes...

0:11:48 Riz: How am I outnumbered here for paying attention? I'm being bullied for paying attention. [mournfully] Where's Adaine?!

0:11:54 Fig: I'm just wondering, okay so… So they took a recess, and Gorthalax is not-- if I were in charge--

0:11:59 Riz: Mm-hm.

0:12:03 Fig: So they needed Gorthalax to enter something in a gem, but he needed to be a special devil, right? If I took his place, if I became the leader here--

0:12:14 Riz: Devils don't--

0:12:18 Fig: Would that invalidate him in the gem?

0:12:24 Riz: ...No, I don't think so. The devils here aren't try-- I think it's because his kingdom is like-- because he's not looking over his kingdom, because he's gone.

0:12:33 Fig: But I'm saying like, Adaine's mom is, Kalina is using Gorthalax in the gem because he's powerful but if I took his title would he no longer be powerful? And they would need me in a gem to get through.

0:12:49 Brennan: I'm gonna say go ahead and give me an investigation check.

0:12:53 Emily: Woo!

0:12:57 Murph: Pft. It's okay, 19.

0:12:59 Brennan: Very much a long shot, because in most of the indications about what the gem is for, it's to get past a barrier.

0:13:05 Murph: So they’re already in, they’re already in.

0:13:06 Emily: So they already got past, okay. I thought that might be the case, I just had to figure it out.

0:13:09 Riz: It seems like it's more about--

0:13:11 Emily: I had to double check.

0:13:11 Riz: --Gorthalax being high ranking than it is about being anything specific about him. Like, there's a good chance that you could've gotten them in, you know what I mean?

0:13:20 Fig: Yeah, I mean I can get into a lot of places, but yeah.

0:13:22 Riz: But maybe if you take over this then you can get us in?

0:13:27 Fig: Oh...

0:13:29 Riz: Maybe you couldn't have gotten in before.

0:13:31 Fig: Oh!

0:13:32 Riz: But now you could get it. Wretchrot? Wretchrot shrieks.

0:13:36 Riz: Does that add up?

0:13:37 Wretchrot: What does what add up?

0:13:39 Fig: Wretchrot, if I become the fief of this-- Wretchrot shrieks excitedly.

0:13:41 Wretchrot: Oh-ohohoh, please!

0:13:45 Riz: [laughing] Calm down, Baby. Players laugh.

0:13:48 Fig: [laughing] Stop trying to make “Baby”--

0:13:48 Wretchrot: I'm changing my name to Baby! I'm Baby now!

0:13:51 Fig: Stop trying to make “Baby” happen, Riz! Murph laughs.

0:13:54 Fig: If I become the fief of this place, will I be able to move us through to the Nightmare Forest, to Sylvaire?

0:14:04 Baby: If you were to become the dark mistress of the Bottomless Pit, then yes. Your mortal blood puts you outside the hierarchy of devil folk, so there’s very few pathways for you to claim your father's throne, but [high-pitched] ways there may yet be!

0:14:27 Brennan: You see The Hangman kind of goes,

0:14:27 Hangman: This guy's a freak. Players laugh.

0:14:32 Riz: This guy rules.

0:14:34 Brennan: You see, the Hangman says,

0:14:36 Hangman: It is true, not all devils may seize these thrones for themselves.

0:14:44 Brennan: You see Wretchrot smiles and says,

0:14:46 Baby: I for example, am simply a lowly imp made from the blood of a greater devil than I, and the fact the devil that made me is half mortal lets you know how truly lesser of a devil I am. And this... contraption is filled with one of the least devils of them all.

0:15:05 Brennan: Hangman goes,

0:15:05 Hangman: [snarling] Hold your tongue!

0:15:08 Brennan: And you see he goes, Baby shrieks delightedly.

0:15:08 Baby: [while grinning wildly and clutching at himself] Ahhh, what if he killed me?! Players laugh.

0:15:15 Ally: This imp is horny.

0:15:18 Emily: Well, it came from my blood, so... Group laughs.

0:15:18 Emily: Checks out.

0:15:23 Fig: All right cool, yeah let's find those tomes. I just had to bring that up.

0:15:26 Baby: The Study of Darkness. Brennan makes the sound of a gate opening.

0:15:30 Brennan: This wrought iron gate opens and you see before you [sinister voice] mahogany shelves littered with -- The lighting in the dome shifts from blue to red.

0:15:38 Brennan: --black scaled tomes as though in the scales of serpents and dragons, wrought in gold. You see that there is a little roll top writer’s desk with a very evil little pot of ink, and a very evil jet black quill and you see a fireplace with a smoldering pile of embers at the center.

0:16:02 Emily: I light my cigarette.

0:16:05 Brennan: And you see, you look around and see-- Fig takes a drag from her cigarette and then offers it to Riz.

0:16:11 Riz: I was just about to say don't touch anything. Players laugh.

0:16:13 Brennan: Wretchrot--

0:16:13 Fig: This is my dad's stuff.

0:16:16 Riz: Right, right.

0:16:16 Fig: This is literally, this represents half of me.

0:16:19 Riz: This just seems like it was made to corrupt me, like I'm gonna grab some weird book and then disappear into a book.

0:16:23 Fig: I'll just knock you out if you do.

0:16:25 Riz: [laughing] Okay. Okay, deal.

0:16:27 Brennan: You see… Wretchrot turns around and says,

0:16:32 Baby: Indeed, many tomes there are that would steal one's soul here, but there is also a sizable collection of tomes that would do no such thing and simply contain eons and eons of infernal precedent and common law. [brightly] There's also a small fiction section. Players laugh.

0:16:57 Fig: Ooh. All right, what are you looking for?

0:16:58 Murph: I guess I'd like to look around and see if there's anything about this unnamed god or the Shadow Cat or anything. I would think if the devils opposed the demons then there might be some info on the demons?

0:17:11 Brennan: Cool. Is there anything else you're looking for while you're here?

0:17:15 Murph: I guess also to find out if we can get Fig to take over for Gorthalax so we could get us into the woods.

0:17:23 Emily: Seems like a pretty slim chance that I could do that though, since as he pointed out, I'm half mortal, and therefore lesser.

0:17:33 Brennan: You… go ahead and give me an Investigation check.

0:17:37 Murph: I'm not rolling good. 16.

0:17:41 Brennan: 16. Uh--

0:17:43 Emily: I'll also do an Investigation, just in case.

0:17:47 Lou: Here we go now.

0:17:47 Ally: Here we go.

0:17:48 Siobhan: Here we go, here we go now. Can Baby give Fig advantage?

0:17:54 Brennan: If anything Baby would give disadvantage. Players laugh.

0:17:58 Emily: Got a 6.

0:17:59 Brennan: 6, okay cool.

0:18:00 Lou: All is right with the world.

0:18:02 Zac: I mean with Baby's disadvantage?

0:18:04 Murph: Baby's just screaming while we're going through the books.

0:18:08 Brennan: Okay. Gilear rolled an 11. As you begin to sort of parse through, with 16 you don't find anything about the Shadow Cat here. This is obviously a smaller library, it looks like. This, not the most exhaustive infernal library in the world.

0:18:26 Emily: Is there any like, [giggling] I really secretively look and see if there's any infernal dating advice books.

0:18:33 Brennan: Infernal dating advice books? Give me another Investigation check.

0:18:38 Emily: 17.

0:18:41 Brennan: Yeah, you see that there is a book, there's an ancient tome that is written in very archaic-- but it's a book for devils that have been promoted into their equivalent of succubus and incubus roles, on how to seduce mortals and capture their soul. There's some really graphic sexual diagrams in it that look painful and bad and usually are like “The easiest way to draw out the soul is either through the eyes, or the penis!” Fig shrieks and closes the tome.

0:19:09 Brennan: And you're like ‘This is hard, this is not fun or good’.

0:19:15 Emily: I put it away.

0:19:16 Brennan: You toss that away. You see that, Riz, you found some interesting stuff.

0:19:23 Murph: Okay.

0:19:25 Brennan: There is an entire series of encyclopedia-esque books that are about coup law. And you see that basically what it is that there is a legal structure in place within the nine hells that allows for coups, in fact, they seem to be very encouraged.

0:19:36 Murph: Okay.

0:19:47 Brennan: And there's a whole legal way of dealing with a devil killing another devil to assume their spot. There might be some fruitful stuff here to look at.

0:19:59 Murph: Okay. So I guess I'll grab it.

0:20:02 Emily: Yeah. Grab it.

0:20:06 Murph: I mean I already did my Investigation check, assuming I can't look in it now?

0:20:11 Brennan: You can't look in it right now, but you found some interesting stuff. Wretchrot says,

0:20:14 Baby: If you would like to look at the hot tubs there are also some other wonderful highlights, treasures of your father’s and other various things.

0:20:23 Fig: Yeah, let's go look at some treasures.

0:20:25 Riz: Sweet.

0:20:26 Brennan: You grab a couple books under your thing, head off and you go back out under the ledge, walk down, another giant gate opens up and you see a huge hall opens and this one is built into the red stone. It's like, dusty and sort of rough hewn, and you see that there are seven suits of armor, holding weaponry. And you see that they gleam with intense infernal light.

0:21:00 Riz: Don't touch anything. Players laugh.

0:21:03 Brennan: Each of the armors also comes with its own sort of like, weaponry on it.

0:21:09 Emily: I start flicking one of the wheels of my skateboard.

0:21:15 Murph: They all have different weapons?

0:21:16 Brennan: Different weapons on them. You see that they're all like, very different colors by the way, too. And the one directly in-- so there's sort of three facing each other and one that is like the primary one that is this insane bone-white skeletal armor, with a huge underbite tusked maw thing. And you see that the weapon that the armor is holding is like a massive spiked net. The weapons are all weird kind of looking. As you look at them, Wretchrot says,

0:21:53 Baby: Welcome to the Hall of Sin, and herein lie the Armors of Sin, one for each of the seven. And your father's prized armor, the Armor of Gluttony of course. Baby giggles creepily.

0:22:01 Fig: Right.

0:22:10 Baby: Hungry, hungry boy. Yum, yum, yum! Players laugh and groan. Ally covers their face.

0:22:13 Lou: Jesus.

0:22:16 Fig: Hey Riz,

0:22:16 Emily: I wanna Message just Riz.

0:22:18 Murph: Ok.

0:22:20 Fig: It's kind of fucked up that this is half of me, right? Fig gestures at Baby.

0:22:23 Fig: This is bad.

0:22:23 Riz: I think it's more hell, and it being like, a little blood monster then it is you.

0:22:30 Fig: Okay.

0:22:30 Riz: Yeah.

0:22:32 Emily: Message over. Players laugh.

0:22:35 Emily: I still look haunted.

0:22:38 Brennan: So you look around, there’s a whole bunch, there's a suit of armor all made of mirrors, there's a suit of armor that’s all in like, brilliant gold with this enormous fucking halberd. There's this giant red armor that has two double sided flails, like scourges, that are all spiked and shit.

0:22:55 Emily: Which one is lust?

0:22:57 Brennan: You look at the lust one, the lust one is jet black, it's black leather stitched together with a like, a zipper over the mouth.

0:23:02 Lou: Woo! Players laugh.

0:23:06 Brennan: It's like, this intense kink armor.

0:23:10 Fig: Don't you feel like Kristen would love this one? Ally laughs loudly.

0:23:14 Riz: Wretchrot, not that I trust you at all, but if we touch any of this… we're gonna like, die right?

0:23:22 Baby: Die and go mad!

0:23:24 Riz: [chuckling] Cool!

0:23:24 Fabian: Cool.

0:23:26 Brennan: He looks around, he points at the bone-white one and says “The Armor of Gluttony.”, he points at the gold one, and says, "The Armor of Pride." He points to the one you're looking at and says,

0:23:35 Baby: The Armor of Lust. If you were to don the Armor of Lust, [giggles] the power of that sin would flood your body, make you invincible, unstoppable. But, the armor will find the lust inside you, prey on it, drive it to the forefront of your mind and soul-- take you over. Perhaps you would win the battle, but you would be irrevocably lost, forever. Baby laughs creepily.

0:24:06 Fig: Can we touch the armor without putting it on, or is the mere act of touching corrupting in its own?

0:24:12 Baby: [duplicitously] Touch it!

0:24:13 Riz: Why do we wanna touch the armor?

0:24:14 Fig: Because we can convince someone else to put it on.

0:24:15 Riz: [baffled] What?

0:24:17 Baby: [unconvincingly] You should touch it! Players laugh.

0:24:19 Riz: [exasperated] Why? [to Fig] Okay, if we're gonna touch any of the armor, and we shouldn’t touch any of it-- Emily laughs.

0:24:26 Riz: Your dad's armor makes more sense than... horny armor. Players laugh.

0:24:34 Murph: Riz says that really quietly,

0:24:34 Riz: [whispering] Horny armor.

0:24:37 Fig: I wasn't thinking about touching the horny armor! I was thinking yes, this would be a nice Christmas gift for Kristen.

0:24:42 Brennan: Gilear says,

0:24:42 Gilear: I have discovered the weapon of the Armor of Lust and I am upset. We should leave this place at once.

0:24:49 Riz: Should we? Gilear--

0:24:50 Gilear: Yes?

0:24:52 Riz: No, I don't...

0:24:54 Fig: What? Say what you wanna say.

0:24:55 Emily: Here, I'll Message you.

0:24:57 Riz: Do you think Gilear needs some new armor?

0:24:58 Fig: I know, that's what I was wondering too.

0:25:01 Riz: But then he would die. He would die.

0:25:03 Fig: What, but okay. Think of-- What sin would he be most protected from? Anger?

0:25:10 Riz: Would he just become like, a sex machine if we give him the lust one?

0:25:12 Gilear: [annoyed] It's been quiet for a moment and I can tell you're Messaging. I'm not going to put on the kink armor, please stop. Players laugh.

0:25:20 Brennan: You see Wretchrot says,

0:25:21 Baby: Ah, there are more treasures yet to show.

0:25:24 Riz: Yes, let's look at the other treasures.

0:25:25 Fig: Okay yes, show us more treasures.

0:25:27 Baby: You've been talking about the lust armor for a while--

0:25:30 Zac: I can already see the fan art.

0:25:31 Brennan: You see he says,

0:25:31 Baby: --and there is no part of my body that is erogenous. I have no way to get these feelings out.

0:25:40 Fig: Oh. [sympathetically] That's sad. Here, I guess I try and put more blood on-- Fig cuts her hand and reaches it towards Baby. Gilear quickly grabs her hand away.

0:25:45 Brennan: Gilear stops you and says,

0:25:47 Gilear: Don't give him stuff to do stuff with! That's fine.

0:25:50 Fig: I was trying to build him some more parts.

0:25:52 Riz: We could do it after we--

0:25:54 Gilear: Wretchrot doesn't need parts, this is not the priority.

0:25:56 Riz: Drop off parts for Wretchrot right before we go.

0:25:58 Fig: Okay.

0:25:59 Riz: When Wretchrot has the place to himself, Wretchrot can go nuts.

0:26:03 Fig: He can hump the floor.

0:26:04 Riz: He can hump the floor.

0:26:06 Ally: Baby! Baby home alone? Group laughs.

0:26:10 Riz: All right, let's keep looking.

0:26:12 Emily: I think also Baby's probably [unintelligible]

0:26:13 Brennan: You see Wretchrot brings to some chambers, you see that these are more, they're almost like, infernal romance novel. There's silk beds, it's nice here. There's a little washbasin with cool water and this one is like, white marble and like, mirrored masquerade masks and there's like ooh, it's like sexy Venetian infernal here.

0:26:35 Fig: I like the masks.

0:26:39 Brennan: You-- Wretchrot brings you to these quarters. You can go ahead and make another--

0:26:43 Emily: This is hot, this is like, Tom Cruise getting laid.

0:26:45 Murph: [laughing] I was just thinking how there's nobody worse to go to hell with than Riz. He's just like “Let's not touch anything.”

0:26:51 Brennan: Go ahead and make another Investigation check as you are looking at the book.

0:26:54 Murph: You know what I'm gonna roll with my little beans-- Players cheer.

0:26:57 Lou: [singing] Little beans!

0:26:58 Siobhan: Beans, bean, beans.

0:27:00 Murph: The little beans suck.

0:27:01 Siobhan: Oh no, you rolled a--

0:27:03 Emily: I, can I roll an Investigation check?

0:27:04 Siobhan: --20, right before we--

0:27:05 Emily: Or should I not?

0:27:05 Murph: I only got a 16.

0:27:06 Brennan: 16, yeah go for it.

0:27:09 Ally: What'd your beans say?

0:27:09 Emily: 16 as well. Oh! Toe to toe. Murph chuckles.

0:27:16 Brennan: Cool.

0:27:16 Riz: I'm just a little frazzled, that's all.

0:27:19 Emily: Still thinking about the lust armor?

0:27:20 Brennan: So Riz, what I'm gonna rule that 16 as is, I'm gonna let you roll again later, but it's just that you have so many of these books and you're going through and they're kind of fruitless. So it's just you're like hacking away at it basically.

0:27:27 Murph: Great.

0:27:34 Brennan: Cool. What do Fig and Gilear--I guess you guys are also looking at books.

0:27:36 Emily: Yeah,

0:27:39 Fig: What are these Venetian masks about, or, is this just decor?

0:27:43 Brennan: You see that Wretchrot says,

0:27:45 Baby: Ah! Each of these masks belongs to one who thought that they could claim the throne of the Bottomless Pit. Now they watch as their hubris is punished forever! [shrieking] It doubles as decor! Players laugh.

0:28:01 Fig: I see that, I mean true that, it looks good.

0:28:04 Brennan: You look out and see, you know, Gilear takes a book... After a certain point I think Fig and Gilear get kind of tired. Wretchrot brings you food. Oh, as you go through the mirrors of this place, make a Perception check.

0:28:24 Zac: Oh boy.

0:28:24 Ally: Oh boy.

0:28:26 Emily: Oh, I might have okay Perception… Nope, I don't. 17!

0:28:32 Brennan: Cool.

0:28:32 Murph: I rolled… an 11.

0:28:36 Brennan: As you are walking through here, you see a long mirror through a hallway and there's a moment where-- do you have any disguises active on you as you move through here?

0:28:46 Emily: No.

0:28:47 Brennan: So there's no illusion to you. You see, though, that Wretchrot flying just looks like a drop of blood, like his reflection is sort of what he started as, as he moves along. So it looks like it's not only, this mirror might be like a home security thing of like showing illusions and shape-change things.

0:28:57 Emily: [gasping] Can we—

0:29:06 Murph: Is Shadow Cat with me?

0:29:08 Brennan: In the mirror?

0:29:08 Murph: Yeah.

0:29:10 Brennan: [grinning] You do see Kalina walking after you.

0:29:11 Lou: Ooh!

0:29:12 Ally: Oh! No!

0:29:16 Fig: Hey bitch!

0:29:18 Riz: You’re in hell!

0:29:21 Brennan: Kalina looks over at you, smiles, waves from the mirror, and you see that she goes (sniffs) And appears not only in the mirror, but in your vision in the hallway. Looks at you and says,

0:29:40 Kalina: Nice books.

0:29:43 Riz: [nonchalantly] Thanks. Players laugh.

0:29:46 Brennan: She says,

0:29:49 Kalina: You're having a hard time figuring them out. Kalina glances around.

0:29:53 Kalina: I'm gonna go out for constitutional, take a walk near the ledge.

0:29:55 Brennan: And you see that she walks out of the hallway. You also, you guys hear The Hangman go,

0:30:00 Hangman: What's going on?

0:30:05 Brennan: You see that the motorcycle's here in the hallway. In the mirror, there is a completely hairless soot-covered jet black dog with burning eyes and burning light coming out of his mouth like a big, almost like hyena body style. His front paws and legs are big and his back kind of slopes down from a big ridge on his back.

0:30:27 Fig: Hangman, this is your true nature.

0:30:29 Hangman: [confused] What? Hangman looks over at the mirror.

0:30:29 Hangman: Oh!

0:30:29 Fig: This is who you really are.

0:30:31 Hangman: Oh, oh no!

0:30:33 Fig: It’s so cute!

0:30:35 Hangman: No, no, no, I'm not cute!

0:30:37 Murph: I scritch his chin.

0:30:38 Hangman: Stop it, I have no chin, I'm not a dog, I'm a motorcycle!

0:30:41 Brennan: And you see he scoots off. But yeah, you see that when Wretchrot was referring to the least devil, it looks like the Hangman was originally a hellhound.

0:30:49 Emily: Oh, cute.

0:30:51 Lou: Aw.

0:30:52 Zac: I wonder what the van was.

0:30:54 Siobhan: Baby and Doggy. Group laughs.

0:30:56 Lou: I have a doggy?

0:30:57 Zac: A children's book.

0:31:00 Brennan: Cool.

0:31:00 Murph: Oh yeah, is there anything that we haven't--

0:31:03 Emily: Oh, can we just, I just wanna dump my money and see if there's any illusion in my cash.

0:31:10 Murph: Yeah, what were we looking for, we were looking for a spellbook. Oh, we have-- I hold the books in front of the mirror just to make sure there's nothing weird in there.

0:31:18 Brennan: All looks good to you.

0:31:19 Murph: All looks good.

0:31:21 Emily: What about my coins?

0:31:22 Brennan: You hold up your coins… No, you don't see any illusion or shape change or anything like that on your coins.

0:31:29 Murph: I hold up the picture to the mirror.

0:31:31 Brennan: You hold up the picture to the mirror-- oh now hold on. Brennan looks contemplative. Murph laughs.

0:31:35 Brennan: Now I've gotta actually… This is a complex enough thing that I've gotta actually think about this.

0:31:39 Murph: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Emily laughs.

0:31:41 Zac: We'll stall while Brennan does some math.

0:31:42 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:31:43 Murph: Okay.

0:31:44 Siobhan: Guys, how was your week? Any fun stories?

0:31:45 Murph: What other things do we have to hold up in front of this?

0:31:49 Brennan: In the mirror you don't see Kalina.

0:31:53 Murph: Okay.

0:31:53 Riz: So it is, she's in our minds.

0:31:57 Fig: Yeah. Shit. Wait, I just wanted to ask you, are you okay that we hold up this picture of your dad all the time?

0:32:12 Riz: [surprised] Oh.

0:32:13 Fig: It seems like a really messed up thing to have to do.

0:32:14 Riz: Oh, that's really nice.

0:32:14 Fig: Literally every single day.

0:32:16 Riz: [touched] Oh no, it's great. I like seeing my dad, he's been gone for a long time.

0:32:20 Fig: Okay. Just had to check in.

0:32:23 Riz: Thank you.

0:32:24 Brennan: You hear a voice in your ear Riz saying,

0:32:30 Kalina: Do you wanna see your dad again?

0:32:32 Lou: Oh-ho-ho.

0:32:38 Murph: This is classic devil shenanigans.

0:32:41 Riz: I mean yeah, yeah… yeah.

0:32:44 Fig: Who are you talking to? What's going on? Yeah, what?

0:32:51 Brennan: You hear the voice in the ear say,

0:32:55 Kalina: Tell Fig, Gilear, and the motorcycle and the deal's off. It's not an illusion. He's really here and I can really show him to you.

0:33:04 Lou: [shivering with excitement] Oh-ho-ho.

0:33:11 Riz: He's really here. If he's really here—

0:33:15 Brennan: She says,

0:33:15 Kalina: They're on to you right now. Don't talk to me for another twenty minutes. Shake ‘em.

0:33:19 Brennan: And then her voice vanishes.

0:33:25 Emily: I'm gonna just really secretly hold my little Ayda feather in the mirror just to see what it looks like. Is it just a feather?

0:33:32 Brennan: A beautiful brilliant golden orange feather.

0:33:36 Emily: Okay.

0:33:38 Riz: Why don't we get… I'm gonna go grab a lot of stuff and just kind of put it in front of this mirror and see if there's any other illusions or anything I can figure out.

0:33:53 Fig: Yeah.

0:33:54 Riz: If you guys wanna--

0:33:55 Gilear: Very well, I shall set up on the sofa and see what's happening in the kitchen here. I don't know that they will have what they need for frittatas but we can always try.

0:34:04 Fig: Yeah. And you said you're not useful!

0:34:08 Gilear: [weakly] Ha! Players laugh.

0:34:10 Brennan: You see that the Hangman says,

0:34:15 Hangman: I shall assist in this endeavor as well but,

0:34:19 Brennan: He says,

0:34:19 Hangman: I will guard this dwelling place, Mistress Faeth, against any incursions from demons or devils.

0:34:29 Fig: When we're down here you can call me Fig the Infaethable.

0:34:31 Hangman: [approvingly] Ah, a title!

0:34:35 Brennan: You see that Wretchrot says,

0:34:38 Baby: Mistress, let me show you to the all of the amenities of this villa within the Bottomless Pit.

0:34:41 Fig: Villa, okay. Cool.

0:34:43 Baby: [panting excitedly] Can I ask a question? `        Fig: Yeah.

0:34:46 Baby: If I had extra parts, where would they go?

0:34:49 Fig: Hmm… I guess I'd let you decide. Baby shrieks and clutches at himself.

0:34:52 Baby: [giggling wildly] Ah, incredible! Players laugh.

0:34:55 Brennan: You see he flies off. And Riz you go to get some more stuff?

0:35:01 Murph: ...Yeah.

0:35:02 Brennan: You go to get some more stuff. We're gonna cut back to Arborly! [The lighting in the dome shifts from red to blue.]

0:35:07 Ally: Wow.

0:35:09 Brennan: In the misty woods of Arborly, morning has come on the following day. Kristen and Tracker, Ragh, Sandralynn all awake along with Gorgug and Fabian. And Adaine has been out of trance for a little while. [grinning] So Adaine--

0:35:27 Siobhan: Yeah. [grinning widely] I'm just doing this face at everybody.

0:35:32 Kristen: What?

0:35:32 Gorgug: What?

0:35:33 Kristen: What?

0:35:33 Fabian: What?

0:35:34 Adaine: No, I can't say.

0:35:35 Kristen: Did you see what they're doing in hell?

0:35:36 Adaine: No, I can't say.

0:35:37 Kristen: Wait, what happened?

0:35:38 Emily: Ohhh...

0:35:39 Fabian: What's going on?

0:35:39 Kristen: What?

0:35:41 Kristen: Did you... kiss someone?

0:35:43 Adaine: No, hmm, no but… Okay, so you know how Ayda disappeared and Fig disappeared?

0:35:48 Kristen: Uh-huh.

0:35:52 Adaine: From the crab party? Group laughs.

0:35:54 Kristen: Yeah.

0:35:54 Emily: [laughing] Jerk!

0:35:55 Fabian: Did they? Well, they just missed like the little sh-- well, no--

0:35:59 Gorgug: They weren’t there for the part with the ritual of the crab king.

0:36:00 Kristen: They weren't there for shrimp tower.

0:36:01 Fabian: Oh, they weren't there for shrimp tower.

0:36:03 Kristen: No.

0:36:03 Gorgug: Oh yeah.

0:36:05 Kristen: Yeah.

0:36:06 Adaine: Yeah, you wanna know where they were?

0:36:07 Kristen: Where?

0:36:08 Adaine: I can't say, but maybe you can guess.

0:36:11 Gorgug: Were they at the lobster tower?

0:36:15 Kristen: Ohhhh, they were at--

0:36:16 Adaine: No, they weren't at the lobster tower.

0:36:17 Kristen: --shrimp river.

0:36:17 Fabian: Shrimp river.

0:36:19 Gorgug: Shrimp river.

0:36:20 Fabian: They must have been at shrimp river. That makes sense, Ayda would love--

0:36:22 Kristen: Yeah, yeah.

0:36:24 Adaine: They were at Smooch. Central. Adaine looks around at everyone with a dramatic expression.

0:36:27 Gorgug: Where's that?

0:36:27 Fabian: Where is that?

0:36:28 Kristen: Wait, what?!

0:36:29 Ragh: Where's smooch central?

0:36:31 Gorgug: Where's smooch central?

0:36:32 Fabian: Wait are you saying that--

0:36:32 Adaine: Up a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

0:36:36 Kristen: Wait, Fig--

0:36:36 Fabian: Fig got kisses?!

0:36:39 Kristen: Fig was kissing Ayda?

0:36:40 Gorgug: Oh, she got kisses in.

0:36:40 Brennan: Tracker,

0:36:42 Tracker: [clutching at her face dramatically] Oh my god!

0:36:42 Fabian: She got kisses in.

0:36:45 Tracker: Oh my god!

0:36:45 Fabian: What?!

0:36:47 Gorgug: What?

0:36:47 Fabian: What?

0:36:49 Kristen: [proudly] The family grows.

0:36:51 Brennan: You see Tracker. Tracker smiles and nods in agreement.

0:36:52 Kristen: You, me, and Ragh, just like, ah! More gay! Kristen reaches to hug Ragh and Tracker.

0:36:54 Brennan: You see Ragh,

0:36:55 Ragh: [reaching to hug Tracker and Kristen] Woo! Hoot, growl, hoot, growl. Yes!

0:37:02 Fabian: Oh, wow. Fig got her kisses.

0:37:04 Gorgug: [awed] Wow.

0:37:04 Kristen: Wow.

0:37:06 Gorgug: Wow.

0:37:06 Fabian: I’m jealous.

0:37:06 Ragh: That fucking slaps so hard!

0:37:06 Kristen: That's amazing.

0:37:06 Adaine: Right?

0:37:10 Kristen: How do you know this?

0:37:11 Adaine: Ayda told me. Oh, she also, god, she told me some other things and I fully don't remember them. Group laughs.

0:37:14 Fabian: Were they like, important?

0:37:18 Adaine: She's working on Plane Shift, and she told me something about the rune, maybe that she was going to research it or maybe she already knew about it. All of that information fully got wiped from my brain.

0:37:28 Kristen: You came with the most important part.

0:37:29 Adaine: I think so too.

0:37:30 Gorgug: You had a pretty solid piece of info.

0:37:31 Fabian: I don't care about the rune.

0:37:32 Adaine: I don't, honestly, me neither.

0:37:34 Kristen: I don't wanna hear about the rune ever again. I only want to talk about--

0:37:36 Ragh: Frankly, bringing up the rune in this context is homophobic.

0:37:41 Kristen: Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I would agree.

0:37:41 Adaine: You're right, you're right. I apologize, as an ally I'm always learning, and you're right.

0:37:47 Fabian: Do you guys think Fig is gonna be a different person now? Like, now that she got her kisses in it's like, she's all like--

0:37:53 Adaine: I don't know. I mean, Fig is always getting her kisses in.

0:37:55 Gorgug: Well, I thought she kissed a lot of people.

0:37:56 Fabian: Yeah, but this is like, real.

0:37:58 Kristen: Yeah, oh wait. Did she fool Ayda?

0:37:59 Adaine: No, it was really Fig.

0:38:00 Fabian: Oh...

0:38:00 Kristen: Did she look like--

0:38:03 Fabian: Whoa! Hold on, wait. Like, not a doctor, not a firefighter.

0:38:07 Gorgug: Not like, a--

0:38:10 Adaine: No kind of city ordinance--

0:38:12 Kristen: Was she Hilda Hilda kissing?

0:38:12 Fabian: She must have been Hilda Hilda. Did Ayda mean that she kissed Hilda Hilda?

0:38:17 Adaine: No, Ayda said she kissed Fig.

0:38:18 Fabian: This seems like a lie.

0:38:20 Adaine: Unless, like, right at the last minute she turned into Hilda Hilda and then back again so that Ayda never saw.

0:38:24 Kristen: When her eyes opened up again? We don't know.

0:38:26 Adaine: Which I fully, I don't know.

0:38:27 Gorgug: Wow.

0:38:28 Fabian: I don't know, Adaine, this seems too crazy.

0:38:31 Adaine: I know this is the craziest thing--

0:38:32 Fabian: Not Hilda Hilda?!

0:38:33 Adaine: --literally the craziest thing that has ever happened to us.

0:38:36 Kristen: Would you guys kiss Hilda Hilda? Emily laughs.

0:38:37 Gorgug: Hilda Hilda...

0:38:37 Adaine: We never saw her.

0:38:37 Gorgug: I guess I don't know who Hilda Hilda is.

0:38:41 Adaine: I don't know what she looks like.

0:38:41 Fabian: Yeah, I've only heard about Hilda Hilda.

0:38:44 Gorgug: I just kind of looked online...

0:38:45 Kristen: 'Cause my answer is yes just on a gut level.

0:38:47 Fabian: [gesturing at abdomen]  Moving from here you're like, oh yeah.

0:38:48 Kristen: [gesturing at abdomen] Just moving from here...

0:38:49 Brennan: See Tracker goes,

0:38:49 Tracker: Oh god, she showed up when we were doing crab king and went straight to the hot tub. Adaine squeaks.

0:38:57 Kristen: Oh, yeah!

0:38:59 Adaine: I said I was gonna get in the hot tub with her! Adaine covers her cheeks with her hands.

0:39:01 Fabian: What’s weird about that?

0:39:01 Adaine: Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Why do I never read these things?

0:39:04 Gorgug: To do what?

0:39:05 Fabian: Yeah, why is it weird for her to go straight to the hot tub?

0:39:08 Tracker: Oh man.

0:39:08 Kristen: Oh wow.

0:39:08 Adaine: Oh dear.

0:39:09 Kristen: It's... something else.

0:39:12 Gorgug: Okay.

0:39:12 Fabian: All right, anyway--

0:39:15 Brennan: You see that your phone blips, Gorgug and you see Zelda says, Zelda sent you a text being like, "How's the quest going?"

0:39:20 Emily: Oh my god.

0:39:25 Kristen: Who are you texting?

0:39:26 Gorgug: Oh yeah, my phone works now.

0:39:28 Fabian: Oh, who is it? [surprised] Wait, what?

0:39:28 Adaine: What?!

0:39:28 Lou: Wait, I was there for that. Nevermind, I'm not surprised.

0:39:31 Gorgug: I got my crystal to work. I figured it out, I figured out how to access my parents’ satellite and--

0:39:34 Fabian: [impressed] Wow.

0:39:35 Gorgug: So that's--

0:39:36 Kristen: So we can text anyone? We can text Aguefort?

0:39:37 Gorgug: Yeah, you can use my phone.

0:39:37 Adaine: Oh! Yeah, can we please call Aguefort?

0:39:41 Gorgug: Sure. I gotta be honest, might be way over on minutes so I'm gonna have to-- Gorgug makes a gesture indicating himself and the party. Group laughs.

0:39:43 Adaine: All right well--

0:39:44 Gorgug: We're gonna have to pool some resources.

0:39:48 Adaine: Well actually what I can do is--

0:39:48 Gorgug: I'm gonna get these pretty bad overage charges.

0:39:52 Adaine: Oh, she taught me a new spell where I can, okay.

0:39:57 Siobhan: I'm gonna Sending Arthur Aguefort.

0:40:01 Brennan: Okay.

0:40:01 Siobhan: And I'm gonna say—

0:40:04 Gorgug: I can also call him if it— Group laughs.

0:40:08 Adaine: [laughing] Yeah, why don't you call him? You're right, I should probably not waste spell slots. Group laughs.

0:40:15 Adaine: I'm just so excited to use this new spell.

0:40:16 Gorgug: [indicating his phone] As long as this can be settled up later,  'cause I--

0:40:17 Adaine: Right, we can take it out of--

0:40:19 Kristen: Yeah, we’ll settle up later.

0:40:20 Fabian: Yes.

0:40:22 Zac: I text Zelda back, like--

0:40:22 Adaine: 'Cause you got all those ingredients as well.

0:40:24 Gorgug: [while texting] Got some possibly juicy gossip.

0:40:27 Adaine: Wait! Emily looks shocked. Group laughs.

0:40:30 Emily: Betrayal! You are all scoundrels and betrayers!

0:40:33 Ally: You don't know any of this. Players continue to laugh and talk over one another.

0:40:35 Siobhan: You're not here, we were quiet for your scenes!

0:40:38 Ally: You’re in Hell with a thick-ass Mickey Mouse.

0:40:43 Brennan: Zelda just sends back a bunch of exclamation points in a row.

0:40:45 Gorgug: [texting] It's kind of the thing where I feel like I should wait to let you know just in case it's like, wrong or something.

0:40:51 Brennan: She goes,

0:40:53 Zelda: [texting] Yeah, totally. I might have heard the same thing, though. What did you hear?

0:40:57 Gorgug: Oh! Okay.

0:40:59 Siobhan: What? `Emily: What?!

0:41:00 Ally: It's the oldest trick in the book, Gorgug! Group laughs.

0:41:06 Gorgug: [texting] You hear anything about Fig or?

0:41:11 Emily: This is a freaking informational STI!

0:41:15 Brennan: You get back all caps, "FIG AND WHO?" And in the little chat function, you see a bunch of the other seven maidens become active online in the sidebar.

0:41:25 Gorgug: Okay, I don't know… I'm gonna sit on this one.

0:41:33 Brennan: You see that Zelda says, "Of course, I would never want you to rat on a party member.", and a bunch of chat bubbles from the other seven maidens show up on your thing being like, "This is bullshit", "Spill, spill!", "Give us the tea."

0:41:46 Gorgug: [uncomfortably] I don't know what to do. [texting] Anyways, we got business, duty calls!

0:41:54 Kristen: Call Aguefort and tell him his daughter kissed Fig. Emily squeaks, group laughs.

0:41:59 Brennan: Cool. The phone rings and after a ring or two you hear,

0:42:04 Aguefort: Hello, you've reached the desk of Arthur Aguefort.

0:42:09 Gorgug: Hello, okay--

0:42:09 Aguefort: Hello?

0:42:09 Gorgug: Do I-- Are you on the phone?

0:42:13 Aguefort: This is a voicemail recording.

0:42:15 Gorgug: Oh, it's a voicemail?

0:42:16 Aguefort: No Gorgug, it's not. It's me on the phone, or is it?

0:42:21 Adaine: Is it Arthur Aguefort or is it Arthur Aguefort's desk?

0:42:24 Aguefort: This is Arthur Aguefort, but it could be Arthur Aguefort's desk.

0:42:28 Adaine: Oh dear.

0:42:29 Aguefort: For Arthur Aguefort, press one. For Arthur Aguefort's desk, press two. For Arthur Aguefort's cupboard, press three.

0:42:35 Gorgug: What was the third one?

0:42:36 Adaine: I'm gonna go one.

0:42:38 Gorgug: One?

0:42:38 Adaine: One is for him.

0:42:40 Gorgug: Okay. Gougug presses a button.

0:42:40 Adaine: Although maybe his desk is less impenetrable.

0:42:42 Brennan: He says,

0:42:43 Aguefort: Hello Arthur Aguefort speaking.

0:42:45 Gorgug: Hey, it's Gorgug, I just had to talk to you for a second.

0:42:48 Aguefort: Gorgug, my boy! How goes it with you and the other Bad Kids?

0:42:53 Gorgug: Are you there? I just can't really, something feels like--

0:42:56 Siobhan: I grab the crystal from Gorgug.

0:42:59 Adaine: [stammering] Uh, hi, hi, uh, hi, Mr, Dr, Professor Aguefort. Long time no-- Anyway, the money that we got from Kalvaxus, we think that one of them, the coins might have secretly been one of the--

0:43:16 Lou: I take the phone.

0:43:16 Fabian: [confidently] Hey what's up, it's Fabian. Group laughs.

0:43:19 Fabian: Anyway, so essentially here's what's going down. We got a bunch of gold and we think that one of the golds—

0:43:23 Ally: Wait a second, actually, while you're saying that me, Tracker, and I grab Sandra Lynn and Ragh, and I'm like,

0:43:31 Kristen: Hey we should all go stand outside.

0:43:32 Emily: Ahh!

0:43:34 Brennan: [nodding approvingly] Oh, you see that they all nod and, hell yeah.

0:43:38 Ally: And we all walk out.

0:43:38 Emily: [impressed] Kristen Applebees!

0:43:40 Brennan: Hell yeah, you guys all step outside. Cool, Fabian.

0:43:42 Fabian: [losing interest] There's a bunch of gold, and we need to pick the right gold.

0:43:44 Lou: I toss the phone back to Gorgug.

0:43:48 Gorgug: So, you hear that?

0:43:49 Aguefort: So--

0:43:50 Adaine: There's a rune, there's a rune one of them and it’s the spell book.

0:43:53 Aguefort: There's a coin that has been introduced to the hoard of Kalvaxus?

0:43:59 Adaine: Yes. Was the money that we got directly from his hoard or was it some sort of, ‘well this is the equivalent in today's money’ kind of deal.

0:44:10 Gorgug: Did it get laundered somehow? Brennan rolls a die.

0:44:14 Aguefort: I'm afraid the question's rather more complex than that. You are familiar with the old philosophical saw of ‘how many planks of a ship do you need to replace before it is a different ship?’, correct?

0:44:20 Adaine: Yes.

0:44:27 Aguefort: Well in a hoard--

0:44:27 Adaine: One of my favorites.

0:44:30 Aguefort: In a hoard it is much the same conundrum. If money goes into or out of a hoard, is the money that was one time in a hoard, still a part of the hoard or not?

0:44:40 Adaine: Oh no. He was spending that money?

0:44:43 Aguefort: Dragons loathe spending their hoard, but there are moments; Kalvaxus was unlike most dragons. He had imperial ambitions. Many dragons are happy to simply lord over a domain within flying distance and gather as much treasure as they can. Kalvaxus attempted to control the world, and as such he actually leveraged his hoard into the economy of many nations. You remember that his hoard was completely transferred into a bank by the end. So the gold that was his hoard, was at a certain time simply numbers on a ledger of a bank and was that way for some several hundred years.

0:45:23 Adaine: [frustrated] Oh, how do we even begin to find this--

0:45:26 Gorgug: Coin, yeah.

0:45:28 Brennan: Aguefort has a very high Arcana-- Brennan rolls a die.

0:45:31 Brennan: --and rolling a natural 17 won't hurt, says,

0:45:33 Aguefort: The coin being presented… Hmm. Do you have any arcane research that would suggest to you that definitively the coin is the only problem? I know that as you were saying that that was the introduction of the magical effect. Do you have any proof that the magical effect would have been restrained to just that coin upon its introduction?

0:46:00 Adaine: What do you mean, that it would only be one coin and not several coins, is that what you mean? I don't, I don’t quite understand.

0:46:05 Aguefort: Rather, it might've started as only one coin, but do you have any understanding that it would not have spread?

0:46:10 Adaine: Oh, in some sort of...

0:46:13 Gorgug: Like the coin infected all the other coins?

0:46:16 Emily: Like the plague.

0:46:18 Brennan: You see he says,

0:46:18 Aguefort: Yeah, that's well.

0:46:22 Adaine: Interest?

0:46:23 Aguefort: Possibly.

0:46:23 Brennan: You see he says,

0:46:26 Aguefort: Well, I'm glad that you're bringing this to me and I'm glad that you've taken my warning about dragon madness seriously. That’s a very-- sneaks up on you, it's a very sneaky curse like that but, importantly, it's something that takes time but does begin to wend its way into things.

0:46:47 Fabian: [perturbed] What?

0:46:47 Aguefort: Hmm?

0:46:49 Fabian: What did you say?

0:46:49 Adaine: Dragon madness.

0:46:49 Fabian: Yeah, dragon, you said that like it was a thing that we’d heard--

0:46:53 Aguefort: I mentioned it to you.

0:46:54 Fabian: Did you?

0:46:54 Gorgug: He did.

0:46:54 Adaine: Well yes but you also say insane-- I mean, some other interesting things and, you say piles of things, and none of us remember the dragon magic thing, dragon madness.

0:47:06 Aguefort: [sarcastically] Oh, so I sort of prattle on, right?

0:47:08 Adaine: No, no, no, you just say so many interesting things that the important interesting things get—

0:47:13 Aguefort: Like when I gave that very rambly speech in your freshman year, about how important time magic was and that my tea tasted bad?

0:47:18 Adaine: Yes, but you also said that in the middle of other things and you said it in a voice--

0:47:21 Gorgug: My mind is like a sponge.

0:47:23 Aguefort: I don't know, I think I have a pretty good track record of saying important things, that's what I would say.

0:47:25 Zac: So the spell book was turned into coins, right? Or is that... correct?

0:47:29 Murph: Yes.

0:47:33 Siobhan: Can I describe the rune to him?

0:47:35 Brennan: Yes, you can, absolutely.

0:47:35 Siobhan: Great I don't know what it looks like, but—

0:47:39 Brennan: He repeats back a lot of what Ayda said to you, which is it's an Abjurative, it’s like a meta-magic Abjuration that—

0:47:46 Siobhan: Oh right, the curse within the curse.

0:47:48 Brennan: Curse within the curse, that basically it's like that it's a zip file so its curse contains a lot of other magic.

0:47:56 Siobhan: Right.

0:47:57 Brennan: And it then rides under a larger, more static curse.

0:48:02 Adaine: Dragon madness is a thing that's on… if you hold the money of a dragon?

0:48:08 Aguefort: If you have come into a dragon's wealth knowing that it is from a dragon then yes.

0:48:13 Emily: So dragon madness is contagious?

0:48:14 Adaine: So maybe the dragon madness is the…  And that's a curse?

0:48:17 Aguefort: Yes.

0:48:18 Adaine: And can it be removed, is it a removable curse?

0:48:22 Brennan: You see he says,

0:48:22 Aguefort: It is a very weak curse, but as a result of that, almost impossible to remove. It takes a long time to work its way, it can take years to take effect, it-- because it is so gradual and hard to miss, it's actually quite implacable.

0:48:45 Adaine: But?

0:48:46 Aguefort: Well... Nothing is impossible, it’s just is a matter of straining the right, you know...

0:48:53 Gorgug: Hey, I have an idea. What if we give all of our money--

0:48:58 Fabian: Don’t. No, no...

0:48:58 Adaine: No, come on!

0:49:00 Gorgug: Just somebody. I don't know, the people who work in this village or something.

0:49:03 Adaine: We don't have all of our money with us for starters.

0:49:06 Gorgug: I have all of my money with me. Players laugh.

0:49:07 Adaine: Well some of us aren't that strong. [laughing] It's extremely heavy.

0:49:12 Gorgug: Carried all my money.

0:49:13 Adaine: I have 238 gold with me.

0:49:15 Gorgug: I have twenty thousand.

0:49:17 Fabian: Are we able to take it back afterwards, because I'm not in the habit of just giving away money.

0:49:22 Gorgug: Um, I didn't think so.

0:49:24 Adaine: I mean, you can give away your money and you're still very rich. If I give away my money, I don't have parents.

0:49:28 Fabian: Oh, so every rich person wants to give away their money?

0:49:31 Adaine: No, I'm saying that I don't have parents! That's all the money that I have, I'm in school.

0:49:34 Gorgug: Fabian, tread lightly. Lou laughs.

0:49:36 Fabian: All right, I just wanna say, I don't think rich people should be expected to do, take care of everyone.

0:49:42 Gorgug: But you think that they should be taxed appropriately, right?

0:49:43 Adaine: Nobody is saying that!

0:49:44 Fabian: No, no, I think that--

0:49:44 Adaine: I'm saying that if you give your money away, it's not a big deal, and I give my money away--

0:49:48 Ally: You dog-faced— Players laugh

0:49:52 Fabian: I think if you let rich people keep their money, they'll spend it and that way poor people will get money.

0:49:55 Brennan: Tracker looks at you and—

0:49:57 Adaine: You literally have islands in the sea filled with money that you don't tell anybody about.

0:50:03 Fabian: Yes, of course I do. I think every good rich person does.

0:50:07 Emily: Good?!

0:50:07 Adaine: “Good”.

0:50:08 Fabian: Good at being rich. [exasperated] What, Tracker, what?

0:50:10 Tracker: If rich people spent their money then how would they be able to call themselves rich? Isn't the whole point of being rich that you're not spending a tremendous amount of money?

0:50:17 Fabian: You know what, Kristen, tag-team, I don't want to be in this van anymore, alright? Group laughs.

0:50:22 Fabian: I'm gonna go buy myself something nice, I don't know.

0:50:26 Gorgug: I wonder… We all got divided the hoard... Just as an experiment, maybe I'll give away all my money. That make any sense? Maybe we won't know now, but... I dunno. What am I gonna buy? Players laugh.

0:50:47 Adaine: You can get all kinds of things.

0:50:48 Gorgug: What?

0:50:49 Kristen: Something cute for Zelda.

0:50:51 Gorgug: That'd be nice.

0:50:51 Adaine: Yeah.

0:50:53 Gorgug: Oh, yeah I guess I could buy something.

0:50:55 Adaine: New seats for the van.

0:50:56 Gorgug: Could use that.

0:50:58 Adaine: Maybe some wings for the van, pretty rad.

0:51:00 Gorgug: Man, that'd be awesome.

0:51:02 Brennan: As you guys dwell on that potential, we're going to cut back to hell. [sinister music plays]

0:51:15 Brennan: At the edge of the Bottomless Pit… [lighting shifts from blue to red]

0:51:19 Brennan: Riz Gukgak, licensed detective. You were gonna go out get some things to put them in front of the mirror of illusions and maybe see what's what. Lou fidgets excitedly.

0:51:39 Emily: [grinning] I'm just upstairs if you wanna talk.

0:51:43 Murph: Yeah, can I... Ooh. I kind of want to.. I wanna make sure that when I meet with her that it's here in front of the mirror. Or that I have the mirror with me. The mirrors are really big, right?

0:52:01 Brennan: It's really big, give me an investigation check.

0:52:05 Murph: I've been rolling so bad. All right, that's great. 25... or, 26.

0:52:10 Brennan: 26? You find a tiny little sliver of mirror from like, what must have been a broken mirror somewhere. When you put it up your photo you see it has that property. It's kind of hard, you can't see a lot through it, but it's enough to give you a hint that something might not be there.

0:52:30 Murph: Yes. I just want to, I, yeah. I know this is classic trickery, but my father was eaten by Kalvaxus so it is possible that he would be in hell. So I'm going to bring a little mirror with me and I will go out to meet the Shadow Cat.

0:52:41 Emily: [softly] Fuck.

0:52:53 Brennan: You walk out and the moment you walk out, Kalina is leaning against the outside of the doorway.

0:53:03 Kalina: Mr Gukgak, pleasure to have you out here.

0:53:06 Riz: Where's my dad?

0:53:11 Kalina: [raising her eyebrows] To business, right this way.

0:53:13 Brennan: And she begins to walk down the ledge.

0:53:20 Murph: I am going to... okay. I'm like, going through my head trying to make sure she doesn't kill me here. I think she can't… She could paralyze me and knock me over the edge. So I'm going to-- We're like on like a mountain, kind of, or like...?

0:53:39 Brennan: Think of it as almost like if there was just a pit, but carved into the outside was a spiral road in the side of the crag that spiraled down and down and down along the outside.

0:53:50 Murph: I would like to, presumably I have some like adventurers tools on me.

0:53:53 Brennan: Yeah.

0:53:53 Murph: Okay cool. I would like to [laughing] tie a little rope around myself-- Players laugh.

0:53:59 Murph: --and nail it into the wall.

0:54:01 Emily: Is this loud, do I hear this happening?

0:54:05 Brennan: I'm gonna say no because right next to this is thousands of screaming souls falling forever into a pit.

0:54:09 Emily: So I open the-- Fig opens and then closes a window.

0:54:13 Fig: Ah, beautiful. Group laughs.

0:54:16 Brennan: You see that, Kalina looks over and says,

0:54:20 Kalina: You think I'm gonna knock you into the pit?

0:54:24 Riz: Maybe!

0:54:27 Kalina: That makes me feel really great. If you think that's a worry, then I feel like I'm doing my job, that's great.

0:54:36 Riz: Well I'm just gonna be safe, okay?

0:54:39 Brennan: You see Kalina begins to lead you down, looks and says,

0:54:45 Kalina: So... That's a pretty neat trick that Kristen pulled on that van, that's pretty powerful magic. Kalina pauses as if expecting a reaction, then raises her hands non-confrontationally.

0:55:03 Kalina: I'm just making conversation. I know you think I'm trying to ply you for answers. I'm just saying she's a gifted cleric, and especially with no god.

0:55:18 Riz: Is.. Is that the sanctum, did she curse the van?

0:55:25 Kalina: It is so rude, when someone's trying to just chat, to solve a mystery right at them. It's not, that's not the cottage--

0:55:34 Riz: I have a hard time having a regular conversation with my friends, let alone you.

0:55:40 Kalina: Gotcha, okay. I'll ease off, I'm just saying. You know it's kind of interesting because Kristen used to worship Sol, and that was God of the Sun. Gorthalax was one of his angels, so it just feels interesting. Well you don't want to be bothered, so, let's go--

0:56:02 Riz: How did you… You were my dad's partner.

0:56:07 Kalina: Mm-hmm.

0:56:11 Riz: You're a familiar. Kalina raises her eyebrows.

0:56:15 Riz: You were my dad's familiar? Kalina blinks in surprise and shakes her head in disbelief.

0:56:19 Riz: No? Good. Good! Good. That would be crazy.

0:56:24 Kalina: Man, kid I got you rattled.

0:56:27 Riz: I'm not paranoid. Players laugh.

0:56:29 Kalina: You're normally… You’re normally pretty—

0:56:35 Ally: He didn't even say that. [imitating Murph] I'm not paranoid.

0:56:39 Brennan: You see she says,

0:56:39 Kalina: You're normally a pretty good shot but you are taking some haymakers here, kid. Even if you guess right, do you think I'm gonna crack?

0:56:52 Riz: All right, just how, how do you know my dad? You were his partner?

0:57:00 Kalina: [nodding] Oh yeah. I think the question that you should be asking, now that you know how I get around, is how your dad met me. Ooh. How well did you really know this guy, right? I mean, you were a little kid when he got eaten up. I would say that you kind of have no idea who your father is. But, you should see for yourself.

0:57:19 Siobhan: [softly] Oh shit.

0:57:29 Lou: Oh-ho-ho.

0:57:39 Brennan: She-- There are these big iron gates in the red stone of the pit, and she goes to a section of wall in between them, and puts her hand where there is no cleave in the rock but it somehow slips behind something, shifts it, and you see... endless darkness. It's like looking into a hallway where there is absolutely no light. You see she says,

0:58:07 Kalina: I know, walking through this door would be the stupidest thing you ever did, so you don't have to walk. [reassuringly] We're just gonna stay right here where it's safe, okay?

0:58:19 Brennan: You see she says,

0:58:19 Kalina: But, doors like this in hell... The devils don't like doors like this, that go between levels, so you're gonna have to really try to look to be able to see, okay?

0:58:35 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Perception check and she's gonna give you the help action.

0:58:40 Lou: Oh no!

0:58:43 Emily: Ugh! Fig in the hell mansion being like, ‘Boy, I really am glad I brought up Riz's dad with him. That was a really good bonding moment that we had.’

0:58:51 Murph: [facetiously] ‘I guess I hadn't really thought about my dad in awhile!’ [normally] Perception, that's just an 11.

0:59:03 Brennan: You see... Down at the end of the hall, the very center of your vision-- A little bit of light. And there's something there but; it is extremely bright, it's not infernal, there's nothing red to it, if anything it's a cold white light, almost like a fluorescent light. But you can't see anything from this vantage.

0:59:40 Murph: I'm going to… Players chuckle nervously.

0:59:46 Murph: Still tied up, still tied up. I'm just gonna go, not gonna go on the other side of the door. Gonna poke and I'd like to look--

0:59:58 Emily: [incredulously] Oh!

1:00:00 Murph: What, you can poke! I can poke.

1:00:01 Lou: Come on, now. Players laugh.

1:00:03 Murph: Look around the corner, I'm gonna-- physically I'm trying to keep my body on the one side of the door, while craning my neck looking in, but I want to use the mirror to see if I can see--

1:00:18 Brennan: Okay, go ahead and give me a Dexterity saving throw.

1:00:23 Murph: Fuck.

1:00:23 Emily: On a nat 20 can I have noticed that he's gone at all? Players laugh.

1:00:28 Murph: Should I use the little beans?

1:00:30 Lou: Use the little beans!

1:00:31 Siobhan: Yes!

1:00:31 Ally: No! (laughing)

1:00:32 Zac: I don't know, I don't know.

1:00:34 Lou: I don't know.

1:00:34 Ally: Do it, do it.

1:00:35 Zac: Do the little beans.

1:00:37 Emily: I feel like I'm gonna puke.

1:00:38 Lou: Come on, little beans. Everyone leans over to watch Murph roll.

1:00:42 Siobhan: Never use the little beans again.

1:00:44 Murph: 13.

1:00:46 Brennan: 13 Dexterity save? A little bit of the rock wall gives way and some rock crumbles and you hear Kalina gasp, she goes. Kalina gasps dramatically. After a second, Riz hisses at her.

1:01:00 Brennan: You see that she looks at you and for a second you're like, was something about to happen and she goes,

1:01:04 Kalina: Jesus, you're jumpy.

1:01:09 Riz: I'm jumpy if I talk to somebody. You should have seen me freaking out at the hotel the other day, you were probably there. You're a creep.

1:01:17 Brennan: See she looks and says--

1:01:18 Riz: What is your deal?

1:01:19 Kalina: Riz, that really hurts my feelings.

1:01:24 Riz: [gesturing at the hallway] What is there, what is the little orange thing?

1:01:27 Brennan: See she looks and says,

1:01:27 Kalina: You can't see it? No, no, no, that's not how these doorways work. You don't wanna see it because you know. You know what's there and you know what's gonna happen if you hold your mirror up to it.

1:01:47 Murph: I hold my mirror up to it.

1:01:48 Brennan: You see that there is a little bit of fluorescent light there. You see she says,

1:01:54 Kalina: I can't help your eyesight, kid. If you want me to walk away, if you want me to hold my hands up and take 10 steps back... But, you're gonna have to go down the hall if you want to see what that is.

1:02:12 Brennan: You see she says,

1:02:12 Kalina: I mean I can, full disclosure—

1:02:16 Brennan: And you see that she bats at your face and her paw just goes through you, and she says,

1:02:19 Kalina: What the fuck can I do? I'm just in your head.

1:02:25 Riz: Yep. It's not just you I'm worried about, we are in hell. However… I trust that Fig will find me if... something goes wrong here.

1:02:44 Murph: So I'm gonna write--

1:02:44 Emily: [whispering enthusiastically] I will, I will.

1:02:44 Murph: I'm gonna write a little, I guess I’m gonna, the least interesting of the devil tomes, and I'm gonna write a note to Fig, that says, "Trying to catch a glimpse of my dad. Hope this isn't a mistake. If it was, I'm back here." And I put it on the wall. And then I'm just gonna go in.

1:03:22 Ally: Oh!

1:03:24 Lou: Come on, now! Emily gasps excitedly.

1:03:28 Brennan: You begin to walk.

1:03:28 Lou: [mournfully] The Ball...

1:03:33 Brennan: You lose sight of the beginning of the tunnel, your rope just snakes back into darkness. You walk along, you hear [chittering] and something kind of… primal. You feel things watching you and you hear [chittering] chitterings off into the shadows. You walk past them. You hear other voices too. You realize that things are watching you, and the chittering noises are what they are hearing kind of from you. You're a little goblin slinking down a long dark hall. [chittering] The light grows brighter, and you see the reason the light looks so weird is you're actually not seeing the source of the light, and the, the air quality is so bad here, so smoky, that there's actually a cone of light. It's like from one of those like, overhead hanging lamps that has like the wide-brimmed cone and a little like, pull chain on it. The kind you would see in like, an interrogation room.

1:04:15 Murph: Right.

1:04:56 Brennan: And it's creating this pure cone of light and you see that there is a heavy wooden chair and, covered in blood and excrement, waste, his clothes rent over and over, is a gagged, dazed Pok Gukgak tied to the chair.

1:05:26 Riz: [stunned] Dad?

1:05:27 Murph: I run over and untie him.

1:05:31 Brennan: Make a Perception check for me real quick.

1:05:34 Lou: No...

1:05:35 Murph: God damn it. That's an eight.

1:05:40 Brennan: Cool, you rush towards him, and just as you're about to reach the light, the rope pulls taut. If you untie yourself from the rope, you could go further. But, the rope goes taut.

1:05:54 Lou: Come on, now.

1:05:56 Brennan: You see Pok is there in the chair, [labored breathing] head kind of lolling, fully gagged here. You see that from outside of the light, like somewhere else, you don't feel any other beings around you, they just sort of materialize outside the light, a bucket full of some liquid splashes on him and his skin begins to burn and smoke. [splashing and sizzling noises]

1:06:27 Murph: I feel like the rope tugging me is a little bit of a wake-up call. I'm hoping this isn't real. I'm gonna shoot the interrogation light.

1:06:43 Brennan: Give me an attack roll.

1:06:45 Ally: Come on.

1:06:47 Murph: Yo, why am I rolling so bad. 18.

1:06:50 Emily: She's just in your head, that's why.

1:06:54 Murph: Just in case it's like, making an illusion or something.

1:06:57 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:06:57 Murph: It's pretty suspicious.

1:06:57 Brennan: You take the gun up, and you see that, you look and your father's gun starts shaking in your hand. And a thought enters your mind unbidden. It may feel in fact alien to Riz as though someone else put it there and you hear a voice say, "You know what the kind thing to do with that gun would be.” Players make various surprised expressions.

1:07:36 Murph: I'm going to holster my gun... and untie myself. Siobhan gasps.

1:07:49 Brennan: You hear Kalina in your head goes,

1:07:55 Kalina: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kid, if you walk into that light you're not in this little hiding place anymore. You will be in the Iron City of Dis, on a whole other circle of hell from where your friends are. You will step into a room full of devils. This little viewing gallery is a present, gratis of me.

1:08:15 Murph: What am I doing? I pull out the mirror.

1:08:20 Brennan: You see the mirror shows you your father. There is no illusion here.

1:08:28 Riz: Why is he there?

1:08:31 Kalina: You want to have this conversation here while we're looking at him or you wanna step outside?

1:08:37 Murph: [sighs] I walk back out.

1:08:42 Brennan: You walk back out and you hear-- Do you speak Goblin at all?

1:08:45 Murph: Yes.

1:08:48 Brennan: You hear voices speaking in goblin, it's like [rasping noise], hulking voices and you see they say, [harsh, raspy voice] "Confess! Tell us what you know." [splashing and sizzling noises] And you are removed from there and you get out to the ledge, and you see Kalina waiting for you. You see she looks and says,

1:09:16 Kalina: You don't really think a dragon eating somebody would send them to hell, do you? This is the great wheel. Riz, souls go where they're supposed to go.

1:09:37 Riz: Why… Why are you showing me this? What is... You know I wanna free my father. Are you two working together? Is that why the devils want my dad?

1:09:53 Kalina: Riz, sweetheart. Look, Kristen, Tracker; these are people that I have fondness for but I, I just met them. You're special. You were born with me. I've known you your entire life. I'm like your godmother. And the fact that you are so cold to me, it feels... hurtful. I'm showing you this as a favor. I'm showing you this as a token of good faith. Because, here's the thing, Riz: Maybe you get into the forest. Maybe I don't kill all of you right away; maybe you make it all the way to catch up with the Abernants, stop them, put an end to this ritual. Maybe. Maybe you only lose a couple of your closest friends. Maybe you go back to Aguefort and you get to hand this crown back to that crazy old coot. For him to lose it again. Or maybe… someone comes back. And if that someone comes back, maybe they wrassle up all those demons that they've worked with for so long, and we spring a little jailbreak for your dear old pop. I know the stick doesn't always work by itself but now, I'd say you have a pretty big carrot to consider, wouldn't you?

1:11:40 Riz: Yeah. [pauses] Did my dad know what you were? Brennan smiles.

1:12:01 Murph: Can I do like, a real quick Insight check on her face as I say that?

1:12:05 Brennan: Yeah, give me an Insight check.

1:12:07 Murph: Come on. [rolls] The bad Murph rolls are back, baby. As soon as there's a Riz episode baby, can't do it. Any other episode I'm good. That's still okay, 16.

1:12:24 Kalina: So funny, kid. You have an opportunity right now to talk to someone who actually knew your father. You were small. Do you really know how your dad thought about you? He was away an awful lot. A very handsome man, gone for a long time.

1:12:48 Riz: I know… I know what happened between you two, I can do the math.

1:12:59 Kalina: Remember Riz, your dad was a spy. Do you think everything your dad did was good?

1:13:10 Riz: Obviously not.

1:13:13 Brennan: You see she smiles and is like,

1:13:13 Kalina: Heartbreaking, you know. I was with you watching that little crystal of your dad, such a sweet message, kind of the only thing you have left of him, right? Terrible. Or when you were with your friends at the cemetery and didn't even mention that your dad was 10 feet away. It's real hard with dads. Sorry to complicate his legacy but hey, it's all about the clues, right? Got to find the truth no matter what. Keep digging, Riz, and think about what you really want.

1:13:57 Brennan: [whooshing sound] She vanishes.

1:14:03 Murph: God damn. Riz hisses. Players laugh.

1:14:05 Lou: Oh.

1:14:07 Siobhan: Ugh!

1:14:10 Ally: Aah!

1:14:11 Lou: Wow.

1:14:13 Murph: I have [chuckling] a depressing theory. Group laughs.

1:14:16 Siobhan: Oh, no.

1:14:18 Emily: You know I'm just upstairs, you can always talk to me.

1:14:22 Murph: Yeah, I guess I'll go upstairs.

1:14:27 Brennan: You walk back upstairs. You walk into the villa. You see Gilear kind of poring over the tomes. You see he goes,

1:14:37 Gilear: Ah, Riz.

1:14:41 Riz: Hey Gilear. [chuckles]

1:14:42 Gilear: They have a kind of passionfruit yogurt here that's quite nice.

1:14:46 Riz: I would love some yogurt Gilear, thank you. Guys, I did something real dumb. I did something real dumb.

1:14:53 Fig: Oh hey, sorry, I heard Riz's voice, what?

1:14:55 Riz: Hey Fig. The Shadow Cat came and she said she could show me my dad.

1:15:00 Fig: Uh-huh and you were like no, never, I'm not working with you!

1:15:03 Riz: No, I followed, I went down, I tied a rope, I was real safe with it but then I cut the rope. She showed me that my dad is in hell and he's being tortured and [strained] she had sex with my dad I think and I'm patient zero, maybe?

1:15:28 Fig: Oh. Murph laughs.

1:15:33 Fig: I'm really, I’m really sorry. Where is she and your dad now, and also do we know this is true? Because she's planted a lot of falsehoods in you.

1:15:45 Riz: I know but I, the mirror, I brought a piece of the truth mirror and my dad is in a different circle of hell, being tortured by other goblins.

1:16:01 Fig: What direction?

1:16:03 Brennan: Gilear--

1:16:03 Riz: Down? Murph laughs.

1:16:04 Brennan: Yeah, Hangman says,

1:16:04 Hangman: Down.

1:16:06 Fig: Okay, so what circle of hell is that?

1:16:09 Riz: It was something with a D.

1:16:13 Brennan: Hold on one second. Oh, you see that the Hangman goes,

1:16:16 Hangman: It is only one layer down, the Iron City of Dis.

1:16:21 Fig: Yeah so what sin is that, or does it not line up like, ‘this is gluttony’?

1:16:25 Brennan: You see that the Hangman says,

1:16:27 Hangman: The seven sins permeate all nine circles of hell.

1:16:31 Fig: Okay.

1:16:32 Riz: Truthfully I mean Kalina's right. I don't... super know my dad. I don't think that he would do any of this intentionally but, I do think being… I do think if he cheated on my mom with a demon, and then gave my mom a demon STI and then she gave birth to me, a little demon baby, that might get you in trouble with the devils.

1:17:06 Fig: Yeah.,

1:17:07 Riz: So even if he's not the worst, he could still be in hell.

1:17:13 Fig: Well... you're mad at your dad for giving your mom a demon STI but, if you think about it this way, Sandra Lynn tried to have sex with Gilear after she knew she had the STI so she's kind of doing the same thing. Everyone's just spreading this STI around.

1:17:28 Gilear: We-- I just wanna jump in to interject if I may. The proposition of your mother trying to sleep with me, it was less of a-- it wasn't a formal sort of like, ‘I think we should’.

1:17:45 Riz: [nodding sagely] It was a fun, kind of flirty moment.

1:17:46 Gilear: It was just more of a pregnant pause, and then we kind of cut it off. I don't want to-- I don't want to paint your mother in a light of, you know it was like we were having a very intense conversation, and there was a moment where there was a lot of healing, and there was a lot of closeness and intimacy, and then you know, it's, maybe there, maybe there's--

1:17:55 Fig: Gross.

1:18:04 Gilear: Gross?! I'm very uncomfortable and a lot of this has magical ramifications--

1:18:09 Riz: [yelling] Gilear, it's fine! It's fine Gilear!

1:18:11 Fig: It's fine Gilear, it's fine.

1:18:13 Gilear: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm crying. Players laugh.

1:18:15 Fig: Do you want to go see your dad because--

1:18:20 Riz: I don't think...

1:18:24 Fig: 'Cause maybe you could ask your dad some of these questions.

1:18:26 Riz: I don't think we can--

1:18:29 Fig: Talk to the prisoners of hell.

1:18:35 Riz: --save him easily. Maybe Gorthalax can help us if we can get him back.

1:18:39 Fig: Or, do you know who's also down here, is Bill Seacaster.

1:18:44 Brennan: You see that the Hangman says,

1:18:44 Hangman: Master Fabian ordered me to send word to Captain Seacaster, and word I have sent. Although it is hard to tell if one has reached Captain Bill Seacaster because he is actively being pursued by all the armies of the Nine Hells.

1:19:01 Riz: Right.

1:19:01 Fig: Right. Oh shit.

1:19:04 Riz: What a perfect person to bust out my dad.

1:19:08 Fig: Yeah, let's try to find Bill Seacaster, we'll bust out your dad and then we'll get some answers. And if he's a piece of shit, then you can deal with that later.

1:19:19 Riz: I saw him, he was in a rough way. I think that, whatever he did he's paid for it, and we should just get him out.

1:19:28 Fig: All right, yeah.

1:19:29 Riz: There's no yeah, there's no level of-- he's my dad, I just wanna get him out.

1:19:33 Fig: Yeah, absolutely.

1:19:33 Riz: Yeah.

1:19:34 Fig: And I also think that it's very possible that she was-- Yeah I bet there's, I know it messed up to say but there's probably people down here that would have done relatable but bad things.

1:19:47 Riz: Yeah, yeah, I think maybe we can talk to Bill Seacaster.

1:19:52 Fig: Okay.

1:19:54 Brennan: You see that The Hangman says,

1:19:56 Hangman: I have done my best to send word but perhaps--

1:19:59 Brennan: You see that Wretchrot speaks up and says,

1:20:01 Baby: [giggling ] M'lady. Seeing as you are the current Belle Dame of the Bottomless Pit, perhaps you would light the beacon. This would allow at least Captain Seacaster to know where the missive was coming from. Perhaps light a little signal fire for the archdevil himself.

1:20:26 Fig: Lighting a beacon in hell, what could go wrong?

1:20:28 Baby: [cackling delightedly] So much!

1:20:31 Fig: Should we? Riz nods.

1:20:31 Fig: Yeah, let's do it.

1:20:34 Brennan: You see that there is--

1:20:37 Fig: We don't need Kalina to get him out, okay? Just don't let her pretend, like, that you need her to get him out.

1:20:46 Brennan: You see that there is a black spinning wheel, like an old sort of like loom spinning wheel in the corner with like, a pin sticking out of it and you see Wretchrot says,

1:20:56 Brennan: Simply prick your finger on the pin of the spinning wheel and the beacon will be lit.

1:21:02 Fig: [grinning] All for you, Riz. Fig winks.

1:21:03 Riz: Wait, don't say that!

1:21:04 Brennan: You see the wheel spins [revving noise] and [hissing noise] you see fire flashes through all of the mirrors in this little villa and a roaring flame belches from the Bottomless Pit and shoots up into the sky, in the midst of all the bodies falling to the Bottomless Pit.

1:21:22 Fig: I light another cigarette on the beacon. Brennan imitates the sound of roaring flames. Murph chuckles.

1:21:28 Brennan: You see The Hangman says,

1:21:28 Hangman: The beacon lit. Let us hope that those potentates don't, I don't know, get mad at us. Murph laughs.

1:21:37 Fig: If they do, I'll just be like ‘I was looking for a lighter’!

1:21:41 Riz: Yeah, quit being a nerd, Hangman. Riz playfully shoves the Hangman Emily laughs.

1:21:43 Hangman: You--

1:21:44 Fig: Hangman, let him have it. Hangman, let him have this. What did he just do? Let him have this.

1:21:47 Hangman: All right, I'm intimidated, all right.

1:21:49 Fig: Take him for a ride, Hangman.

1:21:51 Hangman: [begrudgingly] Hop on, The Ball.

1:21:53 Murph: Just sobbing on the back of the Hangman.

1:21:56 Brennan: Cool. Go ahead you guys and make one last Investigation check for me if you'd be so kind.

1:22:02 Ally: Come on.

1:22:04 Lou: Shit got wild in hell.

1:22:04 Adaine: Yeah.

1:22:06 Emily: Mm-hmm. 12!

1:22:09 Ally: [seeing Murph’s roll] Ay!

1:22:10 Murph: 29.

1:22:11 Emily: Oh, you got something really good? Okay.

1:22:13 Brennan: 29?

1:22:13 Emily: Wow.

1:22:16 Brennan: You discover a clause that pertains to mortals, can ascend to the throne of an archdevil if they are direct descendants of that devil and perform a coup. Now, everything in the language around performing a coup seems to imply fatality, that you kill your thing; but you actually find, on a 29, a little loophole, which is the actual operative language is simply ‘defeat’. If you'll recall—

1:22:51 Riz: [pointing at Fig] You defeated him. [sobbing] You already defeated him.

1:22:53 Fig: Oh, 'cause I put him in a gem?

1:22:55 Murph: I'm just sobbing.

1:22:57 Riz: [gestures to book] Yeah, you already beat him, it's a clause.

1:22:58 Fig: [sympathetically] Oh!

1:22:59 Riz: Saving clues will help! Solving mysteries helps.

1:23:04 Fig: You're right. [emotionally] I am the rightful king of hell.

1:23:10 Brennan: Gilear says—

1:23:10 Riz: Or at least of this little house.

1:23:12 Brennan: Gilear says,

1:23:12 Gilear: Okay I'm, I’m gonna step in as a parent now. Players laugh.

1:23:15 Gilear: We're gonna all eat and we're gonna drink some water and we're gonna lie down, okay?

1:23:20 Riz: We found a clause, Gilear.

1:23:22 Gilear: I know you did Riz, it's all right. I know you did, I know you did.

1:23:25 Gorgug: Everyone's dads are fine in hell.

1:23:27 Adaine: Yeah.

1:23:28 Brennan: Great, we're going to jump back to Arborly. Cool. Arborly gang, what are you guys doing after the Aguefort call? [lighting transitions from red to blue]

1:23:39 Adaine: Yeah I had a thought, which was, we bought all of these ingredients-- Hallow.

1:23:48 Siobhan: We'll go to the Hallow.

1:23:50 Brennan: Cool, you guys go to the Hallow.

1:23:52 Adaine: We bought all of these ingredients to make a tincture to get Kalina out of our heads. Why did my mom buy those ingredients if she's working with Kalina?

1:24:07 Gorgug: So that, the ingredients they have are also for that same thing.

1:24:11 Adaine: Right but why is she trying to get rid of Kalina in her head if she's working with Kalina?

1:24:16 Fabian: Wasn't it that these are the things they bought to perform some kind of ritual and there was just some overlap with regard to the tincture that we needed to make, and we actually still need more ingredients that are inside of the forest--

1:24:27 Gorgug: But that one key ingredient, the [mumbling quietly] mushroom.

1:24:29 Fabian: What?

1:24:31 Adaine: [hushed] The moss? Emily laughs.

1:24:32 Brennan: Sandra Lynn says,

1:24:32 Sandra Lynn: What?

1:24:32 Adaine: Nothing!

1:24:34 Fabian: Nothing.

1:24:35 Gorgug: Nothing.

1:24:35 Fabian: Adventurer stuff, no hirelings!

1:24:36 Adaine: Science, science!

1:24:37 Kristen: By the way, can I have a couple little baggies?

1:24:40 Gorgug: Yes, we can deal with that later.

1:24:43 Kristen: Here's my wallet. You asked for it. Did you want to hold my wallet? Emily laughs.

1:24:47 Gorgug: [offended] I don't want to hold your wallet!

1:24:49 Adaine: You can hold my wallet.

1:24:50 Kristen: Do you wanna just hold it?

1:24:51 Gorgug: I don't wanna hold anyone's wallet!

1:24:51 Fabian: [conspiratorially] I think this is how a drug deal happens.

1:24:52 Gorgug: Listen!

1:24:52 Fabian: I think.

1:24:52 Gorgug: Look, listen--

1:24:54 Kristen: Here. Kristen throws her wallet in Gorgug’s direction. It flies over his shoulder and he whirls around to look at it.

1:24:58 Gorgug: Listen. Players laugh.

1:25:02 Gorgug: What-- What if your mom and your sister are doing the exact same thing we're doing where they have to trick the Shadow Cat? There is a pause as everyone considers this.

1:25:16 Kristen: No--

1:25:17 Fabian: Hold on. Wait.

1:25:20 Gorgug: Like, they have to be outwardly mean.

1:25:24 Fabian: So they're like on, we're all on the same team?

1:25:27 Gorgug: I don't know, I mean--

1:25:29 Kristen: But it seemed like your mom was so obsessed with this character from looking at her notes, right?

1:25:34 Adaine: Yeah.

1:25:34 Kristen: It seemed like,

1:25:35 Ally: Can we look at those notes again? Can I...

1:25:38 Brennan: Yeah. You guys-- We don't have to go over all of them. Arianwen did extensive study into the nature of the Shadow Cat, the Nightmare King, her notes were pretty comprehensive. A lot of the unnamed goddess, like...

1:25:53 Ally: So this is a roll you know, feel free to say no, [grinning] but this is like an empath roll-- Players laugh.

1:25:57 Ally: --so like can I re-look at these notes and see if I feel like, a little bit of love or obsession here? Or is this just strictly info?

1:26:08 Brennan: I will allow you to make an Insight check with disadvantage.

1:26:11 Ally: Oh, okay, okay, yeah.

1:26:14 Siobhan: I'll help Kristen on this one.

1:26:15 Brennan: Okay, so it's a straight roll to get an empath read on someone through notes.

1:26:21 Ally: I just feel like I can pick up on like, vibes.

1:26:24 Emily: Ooh, this is such a Kristen Applebees moment.

1:26:26 Siobhan: Like, ‘I know this person, even though she's very hard to read’.

1:26:28 Ally: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:26:28 Brennan: Cool, let's see it.

1:26:29 Ally: So wait, so wait. Should you be doing the rolling, you know your mom more than me.

1:26:34 Siobhan: Wait, how high is your insight? Because mine is six.

1:26:38 Ally: Oh mine, I'm good on that.

1:26:39 Siobhan: Oh great, then I'll give Kristen the help action.

1:26:42 Ally: I've... seen her. Siobhan laughs.

1:26:44 Brennan: Cool, let's see what you roll.

1:26:47 Ally: Okay not bad, 24.

1:26:49 Brennan: 24.

1:26:49 Siobhan: All right, okay. Wait, advan-- oh no, flat, you're right.

1:26:54 Ally: Are there like, little hearts around ‘Shadow Cat and me’?

1:26:57 Brennan: You don't find anything in the notes like that.

1:26:59 Siobhan: Lipstick stains...

1:27:02 Brennan: With a 24 and you're looking for like, love or like, devotion in these notes?

1:27:07 Ally: Yeah, 'cause it doesn't quite make sense why she's going against all of the other high elves.

1:27:13 Brennan: Why she's going against all the other high elves, exactly. You look at this; with a 24 insight, there are leaps that Arianwen makes in her research that are just too damn lucky.

1:27:24 Ally: Mm-hmm.

1:27:35 Brennan: Just going through the-- In other words it looks like as she was researching all this, that, some other entity that knew a tremendous amount about this subject matter, was helping her research the entire time.

1:27:48 Ally: Oh, okay. You know, that person themselves?

1:27:50 Brennan: Maybe that person themselves.

1:27:51 Siobhan: Yeah, maybe it's like, you know when a celebrity writes their autobiography but there's somebody else who's actually doing the writing and then you just meet for coffee like six times and tell them their stories.

1:27:56 Ally: [laughing] Yeah.

1:27:59 Emily: Yeah.

1:28:02 Kristen: Is she, your mom was a ghostwriter.

1:28:03 Adaine: Yes.

1:28:03 Ally: For Portia de Rossi. Group laughs.

1:28:07 Ally: [laughing] No, okay.

1:28:08 Lou: Sorry Portia.

1:28:10 Siobhan: Well I'm never gonna see Shadow Cat the same, it's just Portia de Rossi now.

1:28:12 Brennan: Someone please make a supercut of all of Ally Beardsley's pop-culture references throughout this season. Group laughs.

1:28:23 Brennan: If you told me at the beginning of the day I was gonna hear the name Portia de Rossi, I would have said no fucking way.

1:28:27 Siobhan: No, but if you were gonna hear from Portia de Rossi, who at this table---

1:28:30 Brennan: It'd be Beardsley 100%, yeah. Of course. Obviously.

1:28:31 Ally: Absolute. Big fan, big fan.

1:28:36 Zac: I wrote this down earlier and I don't know if it means anything.

1:28:39 Siobhan: Okay.

1:28:40 Gorgug: But the demonic text that was like, researched by I think your mom.

1:28:43 Adaine: Mm-hmm.

1:28:46 Gorgug: We talked about the infernals and the warlocks that helped set up the barrier.

1:28:48 Adaine: Yeah.

1:28:51 Gorgug: That was requisitioned by Pok Gukgak.

1:28:54 Adaine: Oh, from the library?

1:28:56 Gorgug: Yeah, right?

1:28:57 Adaine: Well also, we were talking about the spell book being a coin but if the sanctum is also a curse-- If the coin is a cursed coin and then the sanctum is also a curse, maybe the coin-- maybe I'm overthinking things. It's so confusing.

1:29:12 Fabian: There's a lot going on.

1:29:13 Brennan: You see Tracker speaks up and says,

1:29:15 Tracker: Well... if this was a, if this was like a witch goddess, witches primarily deal in curses, so it's not necessarily unusual that a lot of curse magic, I mean, because a curse is kind of just like a pejorative for a certain type of magic, right? Because a curse can be Enchantment, it can be Transmutation, like... So it's possible…  if...

1:29:48 Brennan: Tracker's gonna make a roll. [Brennan rolls]

1:29:51 Brennan: Yeah, Tracker looks up and says,

1:29:51 Tracker: Yeah there's a lot … Yeah, it'd be great to know, to be able to talk to either Arianwen, or to know what it was that Pok requisitioned.

1:30:03 Adaine: I mean I can, I... should I talk to Arianwen? It seems crazy.

1:30:08 Kristen: How would you do it?

1:30:10 Adaine: Oh well, I could Sending to her, and then I cast this spell that Ayda Aguefort gave me where I put a key in her pocket and then we go to this honestly rad crystal place, like a meet-in-the-middle situation.

1:30:27 Fabian: Does it seem like, scary/dangerous if in fact she decides to like, hoodwink you and mess you up?

1:30:34 Adaine: That is, that is a thing that I'm worried about.

1:30:34 Fabian: Yeah.

1:30:41 Adaine: Yeah. Can, I mean... and I can't take anybody else in there I don't think, it's just a wizard thing.

1:30:48 Brennan: You get a Sending message from Ayda saying that she would love to... message from Ayda that says,

1:30:55 Ayda: Hello Adaine. Cast Find Familiar, wonderful spell. May I teleport to Arborly?

1:31:09 Adaine: Yes, please do, absolutely. Hell yeah, what, what familiar did you get? I'll see. I'm excited. Your friend, Adaine.

1:31:20 Brennan: [hissing and whooshing sounds] In a flash of fire Ayda Aguefort appears. Everywhere here make an Insight check, that's in Arborly.

1:31:26 Ally: Yeah, 26.

1:31:28 Brennan: 26?

1:31:30 Siobhan: 17.

1:31:31 Brennan: Kristen: hasn't slept, just like, tweaked a little bit.

1:31:37 Ally: Oh wow.

1:31:38 Kristen: Hi Ayda.

1:31:39 Ayda: Hello. Friends, Adaine. Hello, good to see you.

1:31:43 Brennan: And you see from behind her giant wings, a sphere of water with little sort of [bubbling noises] comes out and a full tropical fish in a floating thing of water swims out. Emily laughs.

1:31:57 Adaine: I love it!

1:31:57 Siobhan: Can I put Boggy in the sphere of water?

1:32:00 Brennan: Boggy is so happy in the sphere of water. Boggy and this fish immediately start playing. See the fish also-- the fish appears very serene but does have a very wide-eyed expression and you see Ayda says,

1:32:17 Ayda: The familiar has been extremely helpful, thank you so much for--

1:32:20 Adaine: What's the name?

1:32:23 Ayda: I wanted to give it a very special name, but I couldn't think of anything as clever as Boggariel Frogariel. I... named it in honor of, it's the name of m-- Sorry. [breathes deeply] The name of my familiar is Garthy and Adaine the Fish.

1:32:46 Adaine: [delightedly] I love it! Group laughs.

1:32:49 Gorgug: Garthy and Adaine the Fish?

1:32:51 Ayda: I wanted to name the fish after two very important people in my life.

1:32:57 Fabian: I thought it might be something like Fig Jr, but who knows.

1:32:59 Kristen: Oh, yeah.

1:33:00 Emily: [mock-offended] I guess I see where I fucking stand.

1:33:03 Brennan: [laughing] Ayda says,

1:33:03 Ayda: [flustered] I thought it would be overly--- I thought it would be, If I named it, I didn’t want to-- because it could come across, because it is my understanding—

1:33:13 Fabian: It was a good call, I’m being catty.

1:33:14 Adaine: I think so. Emily snickers.

1:33:15 Adaine: You could call it GAF.

1:33:17 Gorgug: GAF?

1:33:17 Ayda: GAF?

1:33:18 Adaine: Garthy Adaine Fish, GAF!

1:33:21 Ayda: That is many fewer syllables.

1:33:23 Adaine: Yes.

1:33:23 Ayda: Yes, absolutely.

1:33:24 Adaine: And then in formal situations--

1:33:26 Ayda: Garthy and Adaine the Fish, yes. GAF, GAF, GAF, GAF. GAF rolls off the tongue more easily. An immense improvement. An incredible wizard, thank you for your help. [intensely] We need to get Fig right now.

1:33:37 Kristen: What, why?

1:33:39 Gorgug: Why? I mean, we do want to get her but, I mean—

1:33:42 Kristen: Out of hell?

1:33:43 Gorgug: Is there a specific reason? [knowing expression]

1:33:47 Ayda: You've done something with your face... Emily laughs.

1:33:50 Fabian: [grinning] Well we're just wondering is there something, is there some [raises eyebrows] business that she needs to [raises eyebrows] attend to?

1:33:56 Ayda: Did Adaine not tell you? There is a high probability that myself and Fig are girlfriends. It remains—

1:34:02 Kristen: Hoo! That is great!

1:34:05 Fabian: Woo! Wow, I did not think we were gonna get there so quickly. I thought we were gonna have to tease that out of you. Emily laughs.

1:34:12 Ayda: Why, did I say it too quickly?

1:34:13 Kristen: No, no, you said it perfect.

1:34:13 Adaine: You said it exactly the right speed.

1:34:15 Kristen: Being straightforward is the way to go.

1:34:16 Adaine: We all love this information.

1:34:18 Kristen: Welcome to the family.

1:34:18 Ally: We shake hands. Kristen and Ayda shake hands.

1:34:21 Brennan: You see that she says,

1:34:21 Ayda: What family is that?

1:34:23 Kristen: When you're here, you're family. It's called being gay. Group laughs.

1:34:29 Kristen: There's a weird amount of breadsticks.

1:34:35 Brennan: You see—

1:34:38 Siobhan: Adaine is taking notes. ‘Wow, breadsticks, okay’.

1:34:42 Brennan: You see Ayda looks up and says,

1:34:44 Ayda: Yes, Kristen is of course correct. I am gay and I would like to get Fig back as soon as possible. Are there any other issues I can clear up before we dive into the discussion at hand?

1:34:54 Fabian: It’s not as fun when they just say it.

1:34:55 Kristen: What's our plan?

1:34:57 Ayda: Are we trying to optimize for fun, should I have made this more fun?

1:34:59 Fabian: No, no, just never mind.

1:35:02 Adaine: You know what is gonna be fun?

1:35:03 Fabian: What's that?

1:35:03 Adaine: Fig.

1:35:04 Fabian: Okay, yes.

1:35:05 Ayda: Why will Fig be fun? What have you done?

1:35:08 Adaine: Because Fig's really fun!

1:35:09 Kristen: Skateboard.

1:35:09 Adaine: Yeah.

1:35:11 Ayda: You're putting an emphasis and meaning on things under the surface and I would like you all to speak plainly.

1:35:16 Kristen: Everywhere that Fig is she tries to set up a real quick teen corner, and I like that about her. Players laugh.

1:35:22 Gorgug: So just to be straightforward--

1:35:24 Adaine: [giggling] Or, an only adult corner.

1:35:25 Kristen: Yeah.

1:35:25 Adaine: Sometimes.

1:35:26 Gorgug: Sometimes, it seems like Fig is shy about her personal relationships, maybe…?

1:35:30 Kristen: Hmm.

1:35:34 Gorgug: Where… that's just maybe what--

1:35:35 Adaine: Or, she thinks she's shy and is actually extremely open in a way that's very sweet.

1:35:42 Ayda: I agree, she's the sweetest person I know.

1:35:43 Kristen: Aww.

1:35:45 Fabian: Wow, this is very cute.

1:35:45 Kristen: You're in it now.

1:35:46 Fabian: This is very cute.

1:35:46 Kristen: So we can't get into hell, that was the issue. Emily laughs.

1:35:50 Kristen: Yeah, we did get blocked by thorns.

1:35:53 Brennan: You see she looks and says,

1:35:54 Ayda: Very well, can I show you guys my research?

1:35:56 Adaine: Yes.

1:35:58 Brennan: [whooshing noise] Scrolls cover the place, all this like Compass Points stuff spreads out.

1:36:01 Kristen: Does anyone want a Yerba Mate?

1:36:03 Adaine: Oh my goodness, I would love one.

1:36:04 Fabian: No, do you still have the ice cream--

1:36:05 Ayda: I would love a Yerba Mate.

1:36:06 Kristen: Here you go. Ayda reaches for the drink and instantly downs it.

1:36:06 Kristen: A gourd for you-- oh!

1:36:08 Emily: Not a cortado?

1:36:10 Ally: No cortados.

1:36:11 Brennan: You see that Ayda says,

1:36:13 Ayda: I have locked down the Compass Points and put Rawlins in charge and given him a magical blunderbuss, so the library is closed for the moment. I have taken all our most powerful offensive spells, brought them here, as well as begun research on a Plane Shift spell.

1:36:31 Gorgug: Awesome.

1:36:31 Fabian: Wow.

1:36:32 Ayda: Sorry. GAF has been a real help. [rapidly] I didn't rest at all last night because I've been working the research as fast as possible. I think the fastest-- I just need to destroy these devils, it's fine.

1:36:45 Adaine: No, no, no, we don't need to destroy any devils.

1:36:48 Gorgug: Are you okay? Feel like you're really stressed out and... I don't know that that-- I think we want to be our most cogent selves while we’re dealing with stuff.

1:37:03 Kristen: Yeah, I understand though. If Tracker was in hell, I would probably be weeping.

1:37:04 Ally: And I like, rub Ayda's fiery back.

1:37:08 Brennan: You feel incredibly tense muscles relax and she... fully starts crying.

1:37:15 Kristen: Yeah, it's scary.

1:37:18 Ayda: [choked up] You know I have more than one lifetime of notes to sample from and in none of them did I ever find someone like this. So, I know that it's very early but it's very special and—

1:37:31 Siobhan: I pull an ice cream sandwich out of Kristen's ice cream sandwich bag and… Adaine hands an ice cream sandwich to Ayda.

1:37:33 Kristen: Oh yeah, of course--

1:37:35 Ayda: [tearfully] What is this, it's colder than normal?

1:37:37 Adaine: It's an ice cream sandwich. Eat it, it'll help.

1:37:39 Siobhan: I also eat one.

1:37:40 Ayda: An ice cream sandwich?

1:37:42 Fabian: Yes.

1:37:42 Lou: I’ll take one as well.

1:37:43 Kristen: Here you go, yeah, I have unlimited so, anyone...? Kristen passes out ice cream sandwiches to everyone.

1:37:46 Brennan: It immediately gets melty as it gets close to her fiery face. She bites it and goes,

1:37:51 Ayda: [sniffs] This is the best sandwich I've ever had.

1:37:52 Kristen: Yeah, right?

1:37:52 Adaine: Isn't it delicious?

1:37:54 Ayda: What is this?

1:37:54 Adaine: It's ice cream and cookies.

1:37:55 Kristen: Yeah.

1:37:56 Ayda: I don't know what ice cream is.

1:37:56 Gorgug: Ice cream--

1:37:57 Kristen: Oh it's--

1:37:57 Gorgug: Cold milk.

1:37:59 Ayda: Cold sugar milk?

1:38:01 Kristen: Cold sugar milk.

1:38:02 Ayda: I don't know why I've been on Leviathan this whole time. Where you come, from if it has these, that seems great. Ayda devours the rest of the sandwich.

1:38:09 Ayda: Oh, I haven't eaten in a long time.

1:38:11 Kristen: Oh, let's get you some food. I think there's still some cold frittata around.

1:38:15 Adaine: Yeah, there's a lot of warm shrimp.

1:38:16 Fabian: And shrimp.

1:38:17 Gorgug: The crab's not good anymore.

1:38:18 Adaine: Yeah, it's pretty stinky.

1:38:19 Fabian: Don't eat the crab.

1:38:21 Ayda: I won't eat the crab.

1:38:22 Gorgug: It's been outside in the sun.

1:38:23 Ally: I come up with a little frittata that has some feta cheese on the top.

1:38:27 Brennan: She eats it.

1:38:29 Ayda: Life is significantly better around you all.

1:38:32 Kristen: Aw.

1:38:35 Adaine: You're great.

1:38:36 Ayda: You're great.

1:38:36 Adaine: How's your research?

1:38:38 Ayda: It's going very well. I want you to know that I, I know that I seem upset, but I'm not upset. You were the first person to find out, apparently, that Fig and I had kissed. These devils likely don't know that Fig is a wizard's paramour. They don't know the horrible mistake they've made. They don't know the terrible vengeance that will be brought down on their heads, they don't know. It's not personal, they're doing what devils do.

1:39:00 Adaine: Ayda, the devils didn't kidnap her.

1:39:02 Kristen: She went in willingly.

1:39:03 Adaine: Yeah.

1:39:04 Kristen: We could start an all-out war against hell, but since our plate is still pretty full with trying to stop-- Brennan chuckles silently.

1:39:12 Adaine: Yeah, I don't know we're looking into extra credit for our spring break right now.

1:39:15 Gorgug: Let's not undervalue the abilities of everyone who went into hell—

1:39:22 Kristen: To come back out?

1:39:22 Gorgug: Yeah.

1:39:23 Ayda: No, I understand. But I just want--

1:39:25 Adaine: What if I Sending to Fig right now? That can go--

1:39:28 Siobhan: It can go across planes, right?

1:39:28 Brennan: Sending?  I believe, why don't you look that up. As Adaine opens her spell book Ayda says,

1:39:33 Ayda: I know. I'm not-- You know, if I had thought ahead I would have sent missives to all the planes of the outer, of the great wheel that the wizard Ayda Aguefort had come into the contact of a paramour and that none should harm her lest they face the wrath of a wizard. I should have done that. I didn't think to do that, but ultimately--

1:39:55 Kristen: That's kind of the step one in your first queer relationship. Group laughs.

1:39:59 Kristen: Just a big world wide warning.

1:40:02 Ayda: Not just one world, all the worlds. All the worlds.

1:40:03 Kristen: Yeah, yeah.

1:40:04 Ayda: But, it's important: I don't hold a personal vendetta against the devils. I don't want to torture them or teach them a lesson, I'm just going to... unravel them. I'm just going to take them apart into their component ideas and discard them at the edge of time and space. You know, I'm going to, if any of them have hurt Fig, I'm just going to erase-- no erase is not the right word, because when you erase something there's still--

1:40:14 Siobhan: I’ll Send--

1:40:24 Adaine: I can Send to Fig. There's just a 5% chance of it failing.

1:40:26 Ayda: Okay.

1:40:28 Adaine: But I'll take that chance.

1:40:30 Kristen: Yeah, it's not so bad.

1:40:30 Brennan: Great. Great, great, great. Go ahead and--

1:40:32 Adaine: What do you want me to...?

1:40:35 Kristen: I say: Dear Fig, we're here with Ayda.

1:40:39 Adaine: Fig, you sneaky little bitch.

1:40:41 Kristen: Yep, Fig you sneaky little bitch.

1:40:42 Adaine: We're here with Ayda, she wants to invade hell, you good? P.S. Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh!

1:40:51 Kristen: PPS--

1:40:51 Ally: And then do we have enough room in sending to kind of explain this like dragon curse that might be the host.

1:41:00 Zac: It's 25 words so we're probably like about 18 into it.

1:41:03 Fabian: Then just PPS Dragon madness?

1:41:05 Kristen: PPS Dragon madness 69.

1:41:08 Adaine: PPS Ask Kalvaxus about dragon madness?

1:41:13 Kristen: Ooh. Sure.

1:41:14 Adaine: Great.

1:41:18 Brennan: Cool. Fig you receive that.

1:41:19 Emily: Okay, so what is the message I received? Ally laughs.

1:41:23 Emily: Like what actually made the final cut?

1:41:24 Adaine: ‘Fig, you sneaky bitch. We're here with Ayda’.

1:41:27 Siobhan: Let me just roll my D100 to make sure that it gets through. Just to do my due diligence-- Yeah it does.

1:41:34 Brennan: Cool, great.

1:41:41 Siobhan: ‘Fig, you sneaky little bitch. Ayda's here, she wants to invade hell, you good? P.S. ask Kalvaxus about dragon madness’.

1:41:45 Emily: Okay.

1:41:50 Ally: ‘PPS, ooh!’

1:41:51 Siobhan: [laughing] Oh yes, don't forget the ‘ooh’.

1:41:54 Emily: I think from that I don't think I would know that you know, right? Group laughs.

1:41:59 Emily: “You sneaky little bitch. Ayda is here”, I don't think I would be like oh, they're onto me. So I think I would just--

1:42:10 Riz: They're mad at us for going into hell without them.

1:42:12 Emily: Yeah, I tell Riz.

1:42:12 Fig: Yeah that's what that's what Adaine is implying, right? Why is Adaine emphasizing the Ayda thing, I was wondering.

1:42:20 Riz: [leaning forward, trying to get close to Fig’s face] I have no reason to believe anything else, right? Siobhan laughs.

1:42:26 Fig: I don't know, what else would you think?

1:42:30 Riz: Cool, now that we're just being honest with each other about everything.

1:42:33 Zac: [while standing up] I'll see you guys later. [exits]

1:42:34 Emily: I haven't told you a lie.

1:42:34 Murph: Okay.

1:42:34 Emily: Since we've been in hell.

1:42:38 Siobhan: Quesadilla time.

1:42:39 Lou: Quesadilla time. [sing-song] Quesadilla time!

1:42:42 Emily: I guess...

1:42:46 Fig: I'm gonna just...

1:42:47 Riz: Tell them to come here, right, if they can.

1:42:50 Fig: I guess I'm gonna say: Cool, I hope you're having fun with Ayda, but not too much fun.

1:42:55 Riz: What? Group laughs.

1:43:00 Murph: So many words.

1:43:03 Fig: But not too much fun. I hope it's more fun when I'm there. Group laughs.

1:43:07 Ally: You're blushing, you're blushing right now.

1:43:08 Murph: I see your mouth moving and I'm just like:

1:43:10 Riz: [motioning frantically] No, no!

1:43:12 Fig: I'm king of hell now. Finding Bill Seacaster and saving Riz's dad, we'll swing by Kalvaxus.

1:43:24 Murph: What!

1:43:25 Brennan: A million miles outside of 25 words, I'm pretty sure. Players laugh.

1:43:29 Murph: And yet, none of them told them that we need them here.

1:43:34 Fig: I mean, I don't know what they were trying to imply.

1:43:36 Riz: Should we tell them to come here?

1:43:40 Fig: Yeah.

1:43:41 Ally: So that was a first draft.

1:43:42 Emily: Okay, first draft. I'll go back to, Brennan starts keeping track of words on his fingers.

1:43:46 Fig: Cool, that you're with Ayda, have fun but not too much fun lol--

1:43:52 Emily: --is one word. Players laugh.

1:43:56 Fig: No, but really. Players laugh.

1:44:00 Fig: I'm King now. Looking for--

1:44:05 Emily: What am I at?

1:44:08 Brennan: You're at 18.

1:44:10 Fabian: Riz's dad and Seacaster. You could join?

1:44:15 Murph: Okay!

1:44:20 Brennan: 25! That comes back and as soon as you say, "You could join?", Ayda looks at that and says,

1:44:28 Ayda: She wants us there, she's being polite.

1:44:30 Kristen: She's king?

1:44:32 Fabian: Hold up, yeah.

1:44:32 Adaine: I don’t think that that means—

1:44:33 Fabian: You picked up on the wrong things. She's king? Also, did they say they're looking for Riz's dad? Murph laughs.

1:44:39 Fabian: Riz's dead dad?

1:44:40 Adaine: Riz's dead dad?

1:44:41 Kristen: In hell?

1:44:41 Adaine: In hell!

1:44:44 Kristen: Hold on, is she king of like a shrimp party, is this some sort of weird brag?

1:44:49 Fabian: Maybe it's a disguise. She's currently disguised as a king of some kind.

1:44:53 Adaine: Oh, that's probably what it is.

1:44:55 Fabian: Yeah. Emily laughs. Zac re-enters.

1:44:55 Kristen: All right Ayda, how do we get to hell? Let's do it.

1:44:58 Ayda: Well it's very simple. We just simply don't have the time, so--

1:45:02 Fabian: Don't say--

1:45:04 Ayda: Well we don't have the time to research Plane Shift. I need a couple more days and by then it might be too late. So what we should do is... You are students of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.

1:45:21 Adaine: Yes.

1:45:23 Ayda: If you were to call upon him to arrive, to send up a warning as a student, I could potentially steal his watch from him and pause us long enough to research Plane Shift in enough time to get there right now.

1:45:46 Gorgug: Do we need to steal it from him?

1:45:47 Kristen: Okay, so we're gonna call Aguefort and jump him.

1:45:50 Fabian: We're gonna fight Arthur Aguefort?

1:45:51 Kristen: And that's how we get to Fig's kingdom.

1:45:55 Adaine: The man grew to 80 feet tall and pulled the sun out of the sky and you think that we can distract him for long enough to steal his watch?

1:46:04 Zac: Can I… can I sneak away and call Aguefort?

1:46:08 Brennan: Yes, you can. Ayda has once again launched into a thing where she's like,

1:46:13 Ayda: Look it's very simple, there are lots of magic that devils just won't be expecting. You know, you can use their true name and again, I just want them... I don't just want them gone from reality, I want the space they occupied in reality to be gone as well.

1:46:29 Adaine: Okay, that seems like it would create some kind of power vacuum that we don't necessarily need to be doing since Fig does sound—

1:46:36 Ayda: [loudly] I think that it's important to draw firm boundaries!

1:46:39 Fabian: Whoa...

1:46:40 Adaine: I hear you, I think that Fig sounded fine and if Fig wasn't fine, she'd tell us.

1:46:48 Ayda: Okay. She lies about being middle-aged women sometimes, maybe she's lying about being okay, or maybe a devil is forcing her to say that.

1:46:59 Adaine: She doesn't lie to us, though.

1:47:00 Ayda: Okay, that's good.

1:47:02 Brennan: Gorgug, you step outside.

1:47:03 Adaine: I mean, sometimes she keeps secrets.

1:47:03 Gorgug: I'm sorry, just to clarify: Do we actually want to get the watch from Aguefort?

1:47:07 Adaine: I mean, yeah I mean, we can try.

1:47:11 Zac: I'm gonna peel off and, and just give Aguefort a call.

1:47:15 Brennan: Cool. Rings a little bit,

1:47:20 Aguefort: Hello, this is Arthur Aguefort.

1:47:21 Gorgug: Hey Arthur Aguefort, this is Gorgug speaking.

1:47:25 Aguefort: Or is it Gorgug's desk?

1:47:26 Zac: Pressing one, pressing one. (laughing)

1:47:29 Aguefort: Hello?

1:47:29 Gorgug: Is this the real--?

1:47:30 Aguefort: Yep.

1:47:30 Gorgug: Okay. Hey, Professor Aguefort, I was just calling because-- So we're in the middle of our Nightmare King stuff and we're also working with your daughter, Ayda.

1:47:47 Aguefort: You're working with Ayda?

1:47:48 Gorgug: Yeah, she's helping us. We're in a bit of a pickle and I don't want to... overstep but I think your daughter... would benefit from a relationship with her father. She's seemingly pretty lost in some ways, and I think that although she's very powerful, I think that, I don't know, are you a part of her life at all?

1:48:24 Aguefort: This is very surprising. Has she asked you to deliver this message to me?

1:48:29 Gorgug: No, this is just sort of what I've noticed from the outside. ‘Cause I feel like it is a tough thing to be looking for your parent, and seeking something there. It's hard, and she's admitted that she's basically raised herself, and, over and over again. And also can we borrow your watch, I think is the other thing? Players laugh.

1:49:04 Gorgug: Because she was suggesting that we steal it from you and I don't think that any of us want to do that.

1:49:11 Aguefort: No, you don't want to steal my watch from me. I would bring down such thunder upon your heads.

1:49:22 Gorgug: Okay, yeah, I bet.

1:49:29 Aguefort: I will be happy to come and help you if Ayda wishes it... 300 years ago Ayda told me to never contact her again.

1:49:38 Gorgug: Hmm.

1:49:47 Aguefort: I assume that she has reconstituted since then, but I was, I have never been a very present man. Excessive time travel does leave one feeling... largely unmoored I suppose, but no, that moment is crystal clear in my memory. I suppose if she has changed her mind or--

1:50:19 Gorgug: Well she's, you know, if she's constantly coming back, then whoever said that is not who's here now.

1:50:29 Aguefort: I understand; she made it quite clear that she would leave notes instructing her future self to-- If I am wrong, I am wrong. By all means, please tell… I rather don't know how to handle this. If it’s the use of-- she wants to reach out to me just for the use of my watch, is that correct?

1:50:55 Gorgug: Well right now we were looking to borrow the watch so we could pause time, research Plane Shift, go to hell, get our friends, come back from hell, keep doing the Nightmare thing.

1:51:10 Aguefort: Sounds like you guys are doing great on your spring break.

1:51:13 Gorgug: We're just kind of running out of time and I'm honestly so exhausted. Players laugh.

1:51:18 Aguefort: I understand. By the way, I overheard that you did the right thing with Zelda, that's really good call my guy. Well done.

1:51:26 Gorgug: Why did you hear that? Players laugh.

1:51:28 Aguefort: I was at that party.

1:51:30 Gorgug: You were at that party?

1:51:30 Siobhan: Oh no.

1:51:32 Emily: Wow.

1:51:32 Lou: Creepy.

1:51:32 Emily: Problematic!

1:51:33 Gorgug: Isn’t it like, a teen party?

1:51:33 Lou: No, no, no.

1:51:34 Aguefort: Yes, my boy! I needed to make sure my students were safe. I was disguised as an owl.

1:51:39 Emily: Oh no, not an owl!

1:51:42 Siobhan: That's so much worse.

1:51:42 Ally: Oh no.

1:51:43 Gorgug: So much worse.

1:51:45 Aguefort: They made me the beer pong mascot!

1:51:47 Siobhan: Oh boy.

1:51:47 Emily: Oh dear, oh dear.

1:51:49 Aguefort: I was on a perch at the middle line, I was calling sides.

1:51:54 Gorgug: That seems pretty fun I guess, if I was at a party and there's an owl just being the ref of the beer pong game. I would enjoy that. But look, look, look. Group laughs.

1:52:02 Gorgug: Would you just... can we just skip ahead to where you lend us the watch? Players laugh.

1:52:08 Brennan: You see that he looks at you and says,

1:52:12 Aguefort: It seems like what Ayda wants is a watch. And perhaps... I don't know.

1:52:22 Brennan: He says,

1:52:27 Aguefort: I'm doing something right now.

1:52:30 Gorgug: Cooking, or? Emily laughs.

1:52:31 Brennan: No, he holds his hand over the watch and you feel a weight in your hoodie pocket of his watch appearing. You see he says,

1:52:44 Aguefort: I've set this for seven days, which should be enough time if Ayda and young Miss Abernant are working together. ...I suppose, mention what I've told you to Ayda, and if she wishes to reach out to me, or if she wants me to reach out-- I suppose mention what I've said to Ayda.

1:53:12 Gorgug: Wait, the 300 years thing or which part?

1:53:15 Aguefort: Yes.

1:53:15 Gorgug: Okay. Yeah, I will.

1:53:20 Aguefort: I very much appreciate that, thank you.

1:53:21 Gorgug: Of course.

1:53:23 Brennan: He says,

1:53:23 Aguefort: Goodbye Gorgug.

1:53:23 Gorgug: Goodbye.

1:53:26 Aguefort: After the seven days are up the watch will return to me, so use your time wisely and I will speak with you soon.

1:53:32 Gorgug: Okay. Wait, you're not cooking though? Players laugh.

1:53:37 Aguefort: I have a panini on a small grill, but I wouldn't call that cooking necessarily.

1:53:41 Gorgug: Give yourself credit where credit’s due.

1:53:45 Brennan: You see—

1:53:46 Siobhan: Maybe we should buy Gilear a panini press. Maybe he can be a panini guy.

1:53:49 Brennan: Don't buy Gilear a panini press.

1:53:51 Siobhan: I just think that maybe he could just diversify his diet a little bit.

1:53:53 Brennan: Cool, you walk back inside as Ayda is there with everybody else.

1:53:59 Gorgug: Sup, guys.

1:54:00 Kristen: So the shrimp goes down the lobster, flips off the tail, catch it in your mouth. Last one to eat nine--

1:54:06 Adaine: Nine shrimp.

1:54:11 Kristen: --is out, and then you move on to the next eat.

1:54:12 Emily: What?!

1:54:12 Fabian: If you lose you become a living shrimp and you have to walk around saying [dancing] ‘I'm a little shrimp’.

1:54:16 Brennan: Sandra Lynn, says,

1:54:16 Sandra Lynn: What did you learn outside?

1:54:18 Fabian: Oh.

1:54:19 Kristen: What's up?

1:54:20 Gorgug: So I had a good productive phone call with, you know, your dad.

1:54:28 Ayda: Oh.

1:54:28 Fabian: What?

1:54:28 Ayda: You went outside to call my dad.

1:54:31 Fabian: We don't have to beat him up?

1:54:32 Gorgug: No, no, no we're not—

1:54:33 Fabian: Damn it.

1:54:34 Kristen: Is he on his way?

1:54:35 Gorgug: He gave me-- Gorgug holds up the watch.

1:54:35 Kristen: Whoa!

1:54:36 Adaine: Oh, okay!

1:54:37 Fabian: Wow!

1:54:38 Gorgug: And just so you know, he said that... I don't know how you feel about it but, he said that the last time you talked was like 300 years ago and it was-- and stop me if I'm saying something you already know, but you didn't want ever talk to him again. And if that's not true, he said that like, you could reach out to him or he could reach out to you. Just throwing that out there. I don't want to stick my nose too far into your business.

1:55:08 Ayda: Sorry, 300 years?

1:55:11 Gorgug: That's what he said.

1:55:16 Brennan: Ayda sits down, starts crying and goes,

1:55:20 Ayda: I really wish Fig were here. I didn't know I was that old.

1:55:27 Fabian: Oh.

1:55:30 Gorgug: Well you're kind of not.

1:55:36 Ayda: I have notes from three previous lifetimes. ...They go back about 150 years and the very earliest note starts with an apology, because me, or she, destroyed all of my previous notes. ...She said she wanted to start over, be someone new, and then decades later she regretted it and started keeping notes again. [wipes tears] I hate her so much.

1:56:32 Adaine: You can't hate yourself.

1:56:34 Ayda: Yes you can. It's very possible.

1:56:37 Adaine: No, I mean it only hurts yourself if you hate yourself.

1:56:44 Ayda: Then in that case, someone a long time ago made a decision to try and get away from something and then made that decision for every person after them as well.

1:57:01 Gorgug: Well, I mean maybe next time around you can give yourself notes that say that you're allowed to make whatever choice you want.

1:57:08 Kristen: Yeah, it's really kind of-- You can think about how much change you want to make in hundreds of years and that, really overwhelming but if you think just, each time it gets a little bit better.

1:57:20 Adaine: Yeah, you just have to be better than your parents.

1:57:22 Kristen: Exactly, yeah, and for some of us that's really easy.

1:57:23 Adaine: But in this case your parent is you. Yes.

1:57:27 Brennan: She laughs. Ayda lets out a laugh reminiscent of a bird’s screech.

1:57:27 Adaine: Yeah, me and Kristen are—

1:57:29 Kristen: I mean I could just stop now.

1:57:31 Adaine: We're really doing great, yeah. We’re so far ahead. Emily laughs.

1:57:34 Kristen: I've already brought the family line forward twofold.

1:57:34 Adaine: Oh, yeah.

1:57:36 Kristen: But for you, yeah, just your next lifetime and your notes can be a little bit gentler and a little bit more positive and it could make a huge difference.

1:57:44 Adaine: Gorgug's gonna have to work really hard, his parents are amazing.

1:57:46 Kristen: Yeah, your parents are—

1:57:48 Gorgug: My parents are very sweet.

1:57:49 Kristen: Yeah, yeah.

1:57:49 Fabian: Cool parents.

1:57:54 Ayda: [sighs] I will process that in my own time,--

1:57:56 Kristen: Do you want to pretend like Fig is impersonating me and hug me? Emily laughs.

1:58:04 Brennan: She comes over.

1:58:05 Kristen: I don't want to kiss you but I, just, you know.

1:58:08 Brennan: Tracker looks over at you and says—

1:58:09 Kristen: I just need Tracker you know this isn't a sex thing.

1:58:12 Emily: Oh my god, would everyone stop hitting on my freaking girlfriend! Stay away! Group laughs.

1:58:16 Gorgug: I feel like Fig would be pretty happy. Players laugh.

1:58:21 Adaine: I think GAF is really great, but Find Familiar, you can have all kinds of familiars and I'm just… As a thing that maybe you could think about, something cuddlier than a fish?

1:58:36 Kristen: Oh yeah, something you can touch because if you're fire, I'm sure if you touch the fish it would be a panini.

1:58:39 Adaine: Delicious. Players laugh.

1:58:41 Brennan: She looks at the fish and says,

1:58:43 Ayda: Oh, a more cuddly animal. Yes, that makes sense. Something that you could hold.

1:58:53 Kristen: Or like a really soft barbecue briquette.

1:58:57 Emily: Oh, cute.

1:58:58 Brennan: You see she says—

1:58:59 Adaine: Salamander.

1:58:59 Kristen: Or a marshmallow!

1:59:00 Adaine: Like a salamander.

1:59:01 Brennan: She says,

1:59:01 Ayda: I would like to get started on this research.

1:59:03 Gorgug: Cool.

1:59:03 Kristen: Right.

1:59:03 Adaine: Yes.

1:59:04 Gorgug: We got seven days with this and then it'll get—

1:59:06 Adaine: Great, do you want me to come with you?

1:59:07 Gorgug: He'll take it back.

1:59:08 Brennan: She says,

1:59:08 Ayda: I brought what we need here.

1:59:10 Adaine: Oh great.

1:59:10 Kristen: Awesome!

1:59:12 Ayda: So we can do this right here.

1:59:13 Gorgug: Let's do it.

1:59:13 Adaine: Amazing.

1:59:14 Fabian: Cool.

1:59:15 Gorgug: Anything else we should do?

1:59:16 Fabian: Yeah, wait, all of time's just gonna be frozen for seven days?

1:59:21 Brennan: You see she says,

1:59:22 Ayda: Yes, all of time will be frozen for seven days.

1:59:24 Kristen: I wanna kind of go, if anyone is free I would love-- Anyone but Tracker unfortunately, I would love to go look at that--

1:59:34 Adaine: Oh, the shrine.

1:59:34 Kristen: The shrine again, yeah.

1:59:37 Brennan: Remembering that Sklonda was able to walk through all of Elmville during the time freeze, back in freshman year, you will be able to go investigate that shrine in the seven-day period if you stop it right now.

1:59:50 Ally: Love it. Cool.

1:59:51 Siobhan: Great. I just have to make sure I think that the gate is open because we won't be able to open and close the gate if time is stopped, is that right?

1:59:58 Zac: What gate?

1:59:59 Siobhan: Can we open- like aren't physical objects stopped or am I wrong?

2:00:02 Brennan: There is some ability to interact with physical objects.

2:00:06 Siobhan: Just wanted to clarify that before we.

2:00:09 Brennan: You, [slow zooming noise] hit the watch. Adaine and Ayda hit the books and start to research the Plane Shift spell as time is frozen. As you guys are doing all of that, we are going to go back to hell.

2:00:32 Emily: We're frozen. Emily and Murph freeze in place. Players laugh.

2:00:34 Ally: And we're just gonna be here for like 20 minutes.

2:00:38 Brennan: Back in hell, so you find this clause here— [Lighting transitions from blue to red.]

2:00:45 Riz: You beat him and you didn't lie. You said, and— that it was vague, that he was defeated or something.

2:00:52 Fig: Yeah.

2:00:53 Riz: So you can't even get in trouble for lying in court.

2:00:55 Fig: Yeah.

2:00:58 Brennan: You guys hear a sort of hellish, like, deep bell ringing elsewhere off in the pit and you can feel that the tribunal is being called back to order.

2:01:09 Fig: All right

2:01:09 Riz: Shall we?

2:01:09 Fig: Yeah.

2:01:09 Emily: Skateboard in.

2:01:12 Riz: Motorcycle in. Emily laughs.

2:01:13 Murph: And I make the noises while I ride an actual motorcycle.

2:01:15 Riz: Vroom, vroom, vroom.

2:01:17 Emily: I make some motorcycle noises for fun.

2:01:19 Fig: Vroom, vroom, vroom. Players laugh.

2:01:24 Brennan: Very cool. You [motorcycle noise] Hangman comes in, you see that Vraz The Mean is there. Taps the thing. You see Kaistrana the Chained and Lorzug the Impaled. You also see that the Vraz is once again looking at a little sort of crystal infernal thing like,

2:01:42 Vraz: [frustrated] God. [sighs]

2:01:45 Brennan: [mimes banging gavel] Tap, tap.

2:01:47 Vraz: Once again Blozo will not be joining us today. Blozo said that [checks phone] he's waiting at his infernal domain because he got a window for people coming to repair part of his castle and they could be there anytime today, so he's just got to stay there.

2:02:04 Siobhan: So it's truly hell.

2:02:04 Ally: Yeah. [laughs]

2:02:07 Vraz: Once again calling the Dark Tribunal to order in the case of Gorthalax the Insatiable. [sighs]

2:02:13 Fig: Actually my litigator, Riz Gukgak, has some new information.

2:02:19 Riz: Yes, we were doing some research and we believe our friend Fig here qualifies to take over Gorthalax's estate.

2:02:28 Vraz: Under what clause?

2:02:30 Fig: Under the clause that I'm his daughter as was, exhibit A: Baby is my blood. I... did this. [gestures at Baby]

2:02:37 Baby: I'm called Baby now! Players laugh.

2:02:45 Baby: Baby wanna bottle!

2:02:48 Zac: I hate that he embraced it so much. Players laugh.

2:02:54 Fig: I invited everyone down here but I don't think I can have anyone see me like this so... actually maybe I'm gonna close off hell. And then the second clause is that I defeated Gorthalax.

2:03:08 Brennan: You see that Kaistrana the Chained goes,

2:03:10 Kaistrana: Are you suggesting that this was some sort of coup?

2:03:14 Fig: Yes. I physically put him into that gem and therefore defeated him. It was my hands that did the deed, thus defeating him, so give me my crown. Murph chuckles.

2:03:30 Brennan: Go ahead and give me, because you've litigated this correctly, go and give me a Persuasion with advantage.

2:03:34 Murph: Oh god. Siobhan crosses her fingers on both hands.

2:03:38 Ally: Come on, ha-chi.

2:03:40 Lou: Ha-chi!

2:03:43 Ally: Ha-chi!

2:03:43 Lou: Ha-chi!

2:03:43 Siobhan: Ooh yeah!

2:03:45 Emily: Okay, oh wait. I'm just gonna go with that. [casually] That is gonna be a 30. Group laughs and erupts into chatter.

2:03:48 Zac: [mimicking Emily] I guess I’ll just, go with that.

2:03:50 Murph: That was— I was gonna be like, you have Luck points, you have Luck points—

2:03:51 Ally: Oh my god!

2:03:53 Lou: That was way too much! What was that?

2:04:00 Emily: It was 17 and I have plus 13 to Persuasion.

2:04:02 Lou: Okay.

2:04:03 Siobhan: Wow. Ah jeez, 13.

2:04:03 Brennan: You see Vraz looks over and says,

2:04:07 Vraz: Oh, give me a fucking break! Oh my god! Okay, so you committed a coup—

2:04:13 Brennan: And you see that Lorzug the Impaled kind of twists his head to look at Vraz and go, Lorzug screams.

2:04:21 Brennan: And she goes,

2:04:21 Vraz: Fine, Lorzug! [derisively] Okay, so you're what, the new Lady of the Bottomless Pit? [laughs sarcastically]

2:04:30 Fig: Regrettably yes. It's not a pit I'm proud to be the Lady of, but yes. So give me my hell passport.

2:04:37 Vraz: [mockingly] ‘Give me my hell passport’.

2:04:39 Fig: That's not an insult. Just repeating what someone said is not an insult. Hiss at her, litigator. Riz hisses. Players laugh.

2:04:45 Brennan: You see that Kaistrana says,

2:04:48 Kaistrana: That hiss has been recorded in the official notes.

2:04:52 Zac: Motion to hiss.

2:04:53 Ally: Motion granted.

2:04:56 Brennan: You see that Vraz goes,

2:04:56 Vraz: Fine! [scornfully] Oh, you're so special with your little bass guitar. Is that purple in your hair? Are you different from the other girls?

2:05:08 Fig: Actually, I think the most different thing about me is that I don't try to be different than the other girls.

2:05:10 Vraz: Ugh!

2:05:13 Brennan: You see that she literally barfs lava.

2:05:18 Vraz: [barfs] Fine!

2:05:19 Brennan: You see that Vraz gets up walks around and says,

2:05:23 Vraz: As executor potentate of Blozo the Undiminished, Archsecretary, I hereby bestow upon you dominionship over the Bottomless Pit. Do you accept the role of archdevil?

2:05:37 Murph: I go up and whisper in her ear.

2:05:38 Fig: Yeah, hold on I need to confer. [quietly] This feels so fucked up. I don't want everyone to freaking come down here and me to be like hey, I'm the archdevil, look at this Bottomless Pit, I'm bad!

2:05:49 Riz: Seems pretty rad.

2:05:52 Fig: So as my litigator your legal advice—

2:05:54 Riz: My legal advice would be that this is super rad. Players titter.

2:05:58 Fig: [to Vraz] Yes.

2:05:58 Riz: This is really cool.

2:06:00 Vraz: Okay, then by the power invested in me, I invest you with dominion over the Bottomless Pit.

2:06:05 Brennan: She leans in real quick and smooches you on the lips. Murph laughs.

2:06:07 Emily: I barf now, I barf up lava. Bleh!

2:06:10 Brennan: You see that your lips catch, literally catch fire and she puts a thumb on your forehead and you just hear [demonic chanting] and a upside-down pentagram appears briefly in flame on your forehead.

2:06:26 Fig: This was not part of the deal!

2:06:28 Vraz: This is literally how this has to happen legally!

2:06:33 Brennan: The pentagram fades, the fire fades off your lips. You may mark on your character sheet, by the way, as an archdevil that you, now, your resistance to fire has now become full immunity to fire.

2:06:48 Lou: Damn!

2:06:48 Ally: Wow.

2:06:51 Brennan: And you also have resistance against poison damage as well.

2:06:55 Murph: Nice.

2:06:55 Lou: Wow.

2:06:55 Ally: Sick.

2:06:56 Siobhan: Noice!

2:06:57 Lou: Hanging out with an archdevil!

2:07:00 Brennan: You see Vraz goes back up to her seat and says,

2:07:09 Vraz: Very well, your two litigators are free to go. However,

2:07:15 Brennan: And she looks over at the Hangman.

2:07:19 Vraz: This hellhound was not originally summoned from this domain, and must be returned to its proper owners.

2:07:27 Zac: What?

2:07:27 Siobhan: [softly] No.

2:07:29 Fig: [casually] I'll bring it.

2:07:30 Brennan: You see she says,

2:07:30 Vraz: Oh that won't be necessary, my lady. It will be brought.

2:07:36 Brennan: You hear a voice coming up from the back of the courtroom, and you see a devil walking up. You guys give me a Perception check.

2:07:46 Lou: Come on.

2:07:46 Siobhan: Come on.

2:07:48 Lou: What's going on?

2:07:48 Ally: Little beans, little beans.

2:07:52 Emily: 15.

2:07:52 Murph: 11.

2:07:52 Emily: Should I use a luck point? 15. Should I use a luck point?

2:07:56 Siobhan: How many do you have?

2:07:56 Murph: Did you alr—

2:07:56 Emily: Three.

2:07:58 Murph: What—

2:08:00 Emily: No.

2:08:00 Murph: Probably not.

2:08:01 Siobhan: Okay.

2:08:01 Murph: How many do you have left? One?

2:08:03 Emily: I still have three.

2:08:05 Murph: Oh, okay.

2:08:05 Emily: I haven't used any.

2:08:06 Murph: Yeah, why not.

2:08:06 Emily: Okay.

2:08:07 Murph: Or, 15’s pretty good.

2:08:07 Emily: 15’s pretty good, yeah, I'm not gonna use it.

2:08:08 Murph: You don't wanna lose it, yeah.

2:08:09 Brennan: You look at this devil walking up, very calm sort of red scaly devil that has a legal scroll, is like walking into the proceedings. This devil looks perfectly healthy but you notice that it has a limp. There's something like, wrong with its left leg. You see that the devil walks up to the front and Vraz says,

2:08:27 Vraz: Hello?

2:08:28 Vraz: The devil looks and says,

2:08:30 Devil: [regular accent] Good evening. We be filing an injunction.

2:08:34 Brennan: Puts the scroll into the hand of Vraz, says,

2:08:37 Vraz: Under what law?

2:08:38 Brennan: And you see the devil says,

2:08:38 Devil: The law be on the scroll.

2:08:41 Brennan: She unfurls the scroll and she goes,

2:08:44 Vraz: [baffled] The law of the blade?

2:08:46 Brennan: And the illusion fades and Captain Bill Seacaster-- Players clap and cheer. [pirate music playing]

2:08:48 Brennan: --plunges a sword. Bill looks insane. Instead of an eyepatch, it is just a glowing red ember. His teeth are all smoldering coals. He's got one giant lava sword and two arms coming off the left side. So he's got one right arm, a giant scaly--

2:09:01 Lou: What the fuck?

2:09:13 Brennan: --bony hooked arm up here, and an arm wielding a flintlock pistol.

2:09:16 Lou: Jesus.

2:09:19 Brennan: You see he stabs through the scroll that's in front of her face, punctures her porcelain face and goes,

2:09:22 Bill: Fig, me girl! You're in the heart of mind for a shanty! Players laugh.

2:09:30 Emily: I take out my bass.

2:09:30 Fig: Let's do this!

2:09:31 Siobhan: Yes! Amazing.

2:09:32 Brennan: The roof collapses in as pirates smash through the ceiling from a flying ship made out of a red dragon above, and you see that Bill Seacaster swoops you up in his arms. A bunch of horrifying singed burning hell zombie pirates grab the rest of you including the Hangman. The Hangman goes,

2:09:52 Hangman: [excitedly] Captain Seacaster, you saw our beacon!

2:09:56 Brennan: And whoom, you guys alight into the sky. Fig whoops.

2:09:59 Brennan: You see that Bill-- Bill laughs wildly.

2:10:03 Brennan: --fires a flintlock pistol back at the remaining devils in the tribunal as the ship wheels off into the fiery sky. What do you guys do as you land on the deck amidst all of his various pirates?

2:10:15 Emily: I land on my skateboard and do a sick trick! Players laugh.

2:10:18 Brennan: He goes,

2:10:18 Bill: That's right, girlie! A sick trick it be! [laughs] Oh, and I don't believe you've seen my new fine ship have you?

2:10:29 Fig: No.

2:10:30 Bill: Well we owe you some honor, Miss Faeth, for you see, our ship is a thinking ship, and when we christened it anew, we asked it what name would bother it the most. So, welcome aboard the Goldenrod! Players laugh.

2:10:48 Fig: It's Kalvaxus!

2:10:49 Brennan: You've seen the prow of the ship, which is just Kalvaxus' head turns around and says,

2:10:52 Kalvaxus: Oh no, no, no, no--

2:10:57 Fig: Don't look up my skirt you perv!

2:10:58 Riz: [saluting] Captain Seacaster, permission to pee on your ship! Players laugh.

2:11:00 Bill: Oh permission granted, Ball! Murph makes a peeing noise.

2:11:05 Fig: Stop looking up my skirt, you perv!

2:11:07 Brennan: You see he says,

2:11:07 Bill: Oh, a pervy dragon he be?! Players laugh.

2:11:11 Brennan: He leaps and grabs a rope, swings over there, and smacks the dragon with the flat of his blade. See the dragon,

2:11:17 Kalvaxus: [recoils from the blow] Please no, not again, anything but these children, I beg you!

2:11:23 Gorgug: I've heard of a poop deck, but a pee deck? Players laugh.

2:11:25 Siobhan: Nice.

2:11:27 Zac: I say that to everyone else for no reason.

2:11:30 Fabian: What, why?

2:11:31 Adaine: I think you're a little psychic.

2:11:33 Brennan: Incredible. So you see the Captain Bill looks around and says,

2:11:36 Bill: We saw your beacon good and clear. We've had a devil of a time raiding these Nine Hells! Do I see there hidden under the flesh a little burning insignia on your forehead, me girl?

2:11:48 Fig: Yeah, I'm an archdevil now, I suck!

2:11:52 Bill: An archdevil?! And why would you think that sucks?

2:11:55 Fig: Because I rule over a domain of a pit that swallows murderers and liars and thieves and I don't know how I'm gonna explain that to everyone up there.

2:12:03 Brennan: He grabs you and brings you close, he reeks of blood and cinders. He brings you real close and again, it's just burning eye and his coal teeth, as he says,

2:12:13 Bill: You have to have a dominion? No, you don't have to have anything. I am a being of pure chaos and I reside here in the Nine Hells and who can stop me? [mockingly] Oh, their little scrolls and laws and signatures? There's only one law, lass and you know what that law is.

2:12:24 Brennan: [Shing!] Bill raises his sword.

2:12:34 Fig: The law of the blade?

2:12:35 Bill: [shouting] The law of the blade! RIz fires his gun into the air. Players laugh.

2:12:38 Bill: Yes, fire your gun! All right, we've got you now, where to me lass and lad?

2:12:45 Fig: Well, Sylvaire.

2:12:47 Bill: Sylvaire next, or...?

2:12:51 Riz: Lower level of hell, we gotta get my dad out!

2:12:52 Fig: Yes, of course, I'm so sorry! We're going to save Pok Gukgak.

2:12:57 Bill: Oh, your Pa’s here?

2:12:57 Riz: Yes, yes!

2:12:59 Bill: Well, I’d love to meet your good old Pa! We can talk about how our two boys have become such good friends.

2:13:06 Riz: Yes, we're best friends. Players chuckle.

2:13:09 Bill: Ah, that you are. All right, we're going to the second level. The Iron City of Dis! Let's have those cannons at the ready, lads!

2:13:19 Brennan: You turn around and see a young tiefling, the back of his skull is missing— Murph’s jaw drops.

2:13:23 Lou: Ugh.

2:13:25 Siobhan: Oh, no. Lou puts his face in his hand.

2:13:27 Brennan: —almost like it was chewed through, and there's just a ball of fire in the basin of his empty skull; whips around covered in gold and says,

2:13:35 Alistair: Aye, aye sir! Oh, hi there!

2:13:38 Riz: Hey, good to see ya.

2:13:39 Alistair: It's me, Alistair!

2:13:40 Riz: Alistair.

2:13:41 Fig: You made it, Alistair! Guess you had a happy ending.

2:13:42 Zac: [chuckling] You made it?

2:13:42 Riz: The dream!

2:13:44 Alistair: It's a dream come true!

2:13:46 Fig: It's a dream come true, so actually Fabian did you and your friends a solid.

2:13:50 Alistair: Oh, if I ever see Fabian, I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill for sure.

2:13:51 Fig: Oh, okay!

2:13:52 Riz: Cool, cool.

2:13:53 Alistair: Absolutely, but it's amazing, I'm a pirate, I'm a part of the crew of the Goldenrod and all, you know, it only costs me about 50 gold pieces a month—

2:14:05 Riz: You're paying to be here?

2:14:06 Fig: You're still paying?

2:14:07 Brennan: You see that Bill has taken the helm and goes,

2:14:09 Bill: He's being paid in exposure! Players laugh.

2:14:13 Bill: He'll be able to work on any pirate ship after he works here for a thousand years! [laughs]

2:14:19 Zac: He's interning on a pirate ship. Players laugh.

2:14:22 Brennan: You see Alistair says,

2:14:22 Alistair: Make the guns ready!

2:14:25 Brennan: And you see that, up at the front Kalvaxus goes,

2:14:28 Kalvaxus: Oh not agai-- [retching noise]

2:14:28 Brennan: And a big cannon comes out of his mouth. Lou laughs.

2:14:33 Emily: Can I start scratching graffiti into Kalvaxus? Murph chuckles.

2:14:36 Brennan: You absolutely can. You see Bill says,

2:14:37 Brennan: I love it! Mister Ash, take him upside down.

2:14:43 Brennan: And you see the Kalvaxus begins to fly into the sky, turn upside down, the gravity remains the same, and he says,

2:14:48 Bill: Take her under.

2:14:53 Brennan: And you see that Kalvaxus begins to head for the sky of fire as fast as he can.

2:14:58 Fig: See, you didn't need Kalina. Riz looks at her and grins.

2:15:01 Brennan: We are going to [chuckling] cut back, as crazy it is, to Arborly.

2:15:06 Lou: God.

2:15:08 Ally: Aw.

2:15:10 Brennan: Incredible. [lighting transitions from red to blue]

2:15:12 Adaine: Fig wouldn't forget to ask about dragon madness, after I explicitly sent her that very clear message about it, right?

2:15:18 Fabian: It was the P.P.S., everybody reads the P.P.S.

2:15:20 Adaine: P.P.S. is the most important part.

2:15:22 Fabian: It's the last thing you read.

2:15:22 Adaine: Yeah.

2:15:23 Fabian: I skip to the end of the letter, check the P.P.S., go read the letter for context.

2:15:25 Adaine: Yeah.

2:15:27 Brennan: Incredible. For those guys in Arborly, is there anything that you guys would be doing, you would investigate the shrine.

2:15:33 Ally: I would like to, yeah.

2:15:34 Brennan: Go ahead and just give me an Investigation check.

2:15:36 Lou: Can I give them the help action?

2:15:38 Brennan: Yes, you can.

2:15:41 Ally: Ay, two 13s, is that lucky?

2:15:43 Zac: Wait, so we're here for seven days.

2:15:46 Brennan: Yes. Yeah, you have a lot of time.

2:15:48 Zac: Can we just have some, just, Bardic Inspirations?

2:15:49 Lou: Yes, of course. Yeah, I do a lot of pulling people into sheets,

2:15:53 Fabian: I believe in you, spring break. Players laugh.

2:15:56 Fabian: I believe in you, spring break.

2:15:56 Adaine: Spring break.

2:15:58 Fabian: I believe in you, spring break.

2:16:00 Kristen: Oh my gosh, thank you.

2:16:01 Ally: Oh, so that's a 14.

2:16:04 Lou: Oh, you can add a d6. I'm just a d6.

2:16:07 Ally: Don't sell yourself short. Emily chuckles.

2:16:08 Lou: One day, one day I'll be a d8. One day!

2:16:11 Ally: 4, all right. Baby-- Players laugh.

2:16:15 Ally: That's an 18, honey.

2:16:18 Brennan: An 18 Investigation. You go back and find a lot of the same stuff there. It's a pretty ruined, like, abandoned type of place.

2:16:26 Ally: Can I start drawing this face that I'm seeing on the wall?

2:16:30 Brennan: Yes.

2:16:31 Ally: Can I do a sketch of it myself?

2:16:33 Brennan: As you do you remember that dream--

2:16:35 Ally: Yeah, that's why I wanna do it.

2:16:37 Brennan: Go ahead and make a Religion check for me.

2:16:40 Ally: Hell yeah, that comes with advantage… That's pretty good, 20, not nat.

2:16:49 Brennan: 20, not nat. Your spirit guardians begin to appear around you. You see they look at you in their spectral little coffee shop tables with their little cortados. Someone looks up and is like, Guardian #1: What you drawing there Kristen? [sips cortado]

2:17:10 Kristen: So this is a god... And this, I think, is the only picture of this god. Guardian #1: Oh, all right.

2:17:26 Brennan: You see that one of them says like, Guardian #1: You’re, uh-- Yeah, I guess for like, academic reasons it's good to like, draw it but you know. Just another god. Just another thing that's sort of fake or doesn't really matter.

2:17:43 Kristen: I'm actually, I'm interested in the tenets in a real way, I could see maybe getting really into this god. You know Tracker has the moon, and then this is a sister, I could see that working really well, yeah. Guardian #2: Working really well?

2:18:00 Kristen: This could be my god.

2:18:01 Brennan: You see this one says, Guardian #2: Working really well?

2:18:03 Brennan: You see another one says, Guardian #3: Nothing works really well, that's the point. Nothing ever works. There's always something more to criticize.

2:18:14 Kristen: I'm not-- You guys, [clears throat] I didn't want to say this but I might be moving on from this phase. Cortado, the ‘everything's wrong’. I might be a Yerba Mate person and looking for maybe some sort of truth and trying to, you know, follow it. Not Helio, you know--

2:18:37 Brennan: You see that one of them says, Guardian #1: There is no truth.

2:18:40 Brennan: You see that another one turns to the one that said that and said, Guardian #2: Well that's a pretty absolute statement. There definitively is no truth?

2:18:46 Brennan: And you see that a third one looks and says, Guardian #3: Well don't criticize that, because you're doing that from the same place of certainty that that person's doing it.

2:18:51 Kristen: Yeah, see, what I'm talking about here is you guys are all talking in like some big marble chamber with big books and like, I want to have like, kids, I want to be a good friend to my friends, you know what I mean? It's just like in the little minutiae of real human life. I think I need some more answers then ‘everything's wrong, everything's broken, let me drink a cortado alone in this coffee shop’. [continues drawing]

2:19:21 Brennan: [whooshing noise] Those guardians are released. [whistling noise] There's a fear of knowing that like those spirit guardians won't answer your call again, you'll need to find new ones, but you also feel your shoulders relax as you realize that with those spirits around you, you always have your shoulders tense because no belief was beyond reproach and there was never a conviction you could hold without the fear of seeming stupid or silly around them.

2:19:59 Ally: Yeah, totally.

2:20:05 Brennan: That's what you find, you return.

2:20:08 Ally: Was I able to draw this?

2:20:09 Brennan: You were perfectly able to draw this. Tracker, who cannot enter the shrine, is able to look at this drawing.

2:20:13 Ally: Cool.

2:20:18 Brennan: And she gets really emotional, in a way that's sort of just like not like, sad or anything. She's just like, you know look you get just raw emotional, just like a lot of feeling. She's very emotional and is like,

2:20:26 Tracker: I don't know why, but I think that's really important that you did that.

2:20:31 Kristen: Cool.

2:20:35 Brennan: You guys return to Holly Hill. At the end of this sort of magical seven days, Ayda has calmed down pretty significantly. Adaine, you're like a very good presence for her.

2:20:52 Siobhan: Just rolling my portents.

2:20:54 Brennan: Yes. You guys--

2:20:58 Zac: Could I try to have gotten smarter? Players laugh.

2:21:01 Brennan: Trying to have gotten smarter! Give me a flat Intelligence roll. Emily laughs.

2:21:06 Zac: Okay, negative 1 to this.

2:21:09 Emily: Do you have any Bardic?

2:21:10 Lou: Of course he does.

2:21:11 Siobhan: Oh yeah, spring break.

2:21:13 Lou: Spring break, I believe in you.

2:21:19 Zac: 17, wait 16.

2:21:21 Brennan: 16, 17? What's your Intelligence right now?

2:21:24 Zac: 8.

2:21:27 Brennan: Your Intelligence goes up to 9.

2:21:29 Siobhan: Wow.

2:21:31 Emily: Ooh!

2:21:32 Siobhan: Gorgug reading books.

2:21:33 Lou: Can I do the same?

2:21:34 Brennan: No, you may not, only Zac. Players laugh.

2:21:38 Ally: Only Zac, I love it. Group laughs.

2:21:42 Ally: I could just see your character's face—

2:21:43 Brennan: If it makes you feel any better, the eight and nine have the same modifier.

2:21:48 Brennan: You see that, at the end of that week—

2:21:53 Zac: [sadly] My pencil doesn't work. Players laugh. Emily and Siobhan hand Zac pencils.

2:21:58 Brennan: You guys finally, you have researched the Plane Shift spell, which Ayda is powerful enough to cast.

2:22:06 Siobhan: Yes, I am not.

2:22:09 Brennan: During that period of time, as you guys are researching that spell very feverishly, in some of like, the downtime breaks, you notice that Ayda is working on like a little side project, just like a little small thing. You don't see it, she like, hides it away from you but she's like working on something that she won't tell you about. But you guys finish Plane Shift at the end of that week and you see, you guys prepare to Plane Shift. Are you Plane Shifting with every single thing, are you leaving like, the Hangvan here or I assume you're like, Plane Shifting with just like...

2:22:29 Lou: Just everything.

2:22:48 Siobhan: It's up to eight people, uh...

2:22:50 Gorgug: Can we check in with the Hangman before we...?

2:22:53 Fabian: Yes. Hangman?

2:22:55 Hangman: Sire, we need you right now, right now!

2:22:55 Fabian: What, what?

2:22:55 Hangman: Right now!

2:22:59 Fabian: Why didn't you say something to me earlier?

2:23:02 Hangman: I forgot we could do this, I'm sorry!

2:23:03 Fabian: So did I, kind of.

2:23:05 Fig: Riz, piss on Goldenrod!

2:23:06 Fabian: Wait, what's happening, where are you? Hangman yells frantically.

2:23:10 Fabian: We froze time for seven days and are coming directly to wherever you are.

2:23:14 Brennan: You see that Ayda casts Plane Shift. It's Sandra Lynn, Baxter, Ragh, Tracker, and then the four of you, Hangvan's being left behind and you guys appear, [fire sounds] in a blast of flame standing suddenly on the upside-down deck of the Goldenrod. Members of the party yell and shriek. Lighting transitions from blue to red.

2:23:27 Lou: What?

2:23:40 Brennan: You look all the way up at the helm and you see monstrous stuff. Again like, huge like Akira like, devil armed with a boney hook, ember eye. You see the devil of your father look down and go,

2:23:56 Bill: My darling boy!

2:23:59 Fabian: Oh, Papa!

2:23:59 Bill: Look out!

2:24:01 Brennan: And you see Alistair Ash swings a sword right at your head.

2:24:04 Alistair: I'm gonna fucking kill you!

2:24:06 Fabian: Oh Alistair, I'm sorry. I've come a long way.

2:24:08 Brennan: I'm gonna need everyone here to roll initiative.

2:24:11 Siobhan: Oh-ho-ho!

2:24:12 Emily: Okay.

2:24:14 Zac: I got advantage...

2:24:15 Emily: 6.

2:24:16 Brennan: Keep your roll recorded right now. You see that as Alistair starts swinging at Fabian wildly, hosts of devils start to pour out of the Bottomless Pit as Vraz the Mean points up at the sky whirling after you. You see that Ayda looks over at you and says,

2:24:29 Ayda: Fig!

2:24:34 Fig: Ayda!

2:24:35 Ayda: I told everyone we kissed, was that normal?

2:24:37 Fig: Fuck! Players laugh.

2:24:39 Brennan: You see she says,

2:24:39 Ayda: All right there's devils coming. [strained] I.. ugh. [resolutely] It's important, you're important.

2:24:47 Brennan: She just takes alight, like, descends, is upside-down, spreads her wings and opens up a portal that you see is not phoenix fire magic but nautical signs, and you see that she begins to open up a nautical portal and pure ocean just starts pouring onto the plane of Avernus.

2:25:10 Lou: Wow.

2:25:12 Adaine: Ayda, what are you doing?

2:25:13 Ayda: I'm going to flood hell. This is the top and it only goes down from here.

2:25:17 Adaine: I don't think that this--

2:25:19 Fig: No, we can't, we have to get to the second level! We have to save— call off the water. We have to get to the second level! Sounds of clanging swords.

2:25:25 Fabian: I've changed!

2:25:25 Alistair: You're gonna die! You're gonna work here on the ship with me!

2:25:29 Kristen: Are you using a sheath? Don't use the sheath.

2:25:30 Alistair: I'm gonna keep you pinned to the deck and I'm gonna get Chungledown Bim to come shit in your mouth!

2:25:35 Fabian: All right, fuck this. Players laugh.

2:25:37 Brennan: You see that all of you begin to sail. You see that the captain says,

2:25:41 Bill: Fight him off my boy, you can fight him off! All right, you keep that half-phoenix working that ocean spell. And besides I wouldn't worry about these devils. With the amount of money I'm making it's not just one ship they'll  have to worry about.

2:25:56 Brennan: Peeling out of the sky of fire dozens of hellish pirate ships made from dragon carcasses, rok carcasses, all these giant flying creatures pirated by these cinder zombies begin to pour out of the sky and he says,

2:26:13 Bill: To the second level, and lay waste all the damned souls therein! To war, me hearties!

2:26:22 Brennan: And that's it this week— Players groan.

2:26:22 Brennan: —on Fantasy High.

2:26:26 Zac: Truly, what the hell? Group laughs.

2:26:28 Siobhan: W-T-H.

2:26:30 Lou: We were just hanging out. [NEXT EPISODE - Episode 15: Blast from the Passed]

2:26:30 Captions extracted by: matthew

2:26:30 Edited by: somnolentselenophile, leberetframboise (@Kat), gluegunshots