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Let's Kill Everybody
What happens
- 00:00:44 Welcome and recap: the party received Dracula at the Fagari station and set it on fire, stuffed his half-alive corpse in the carriage and brought it to the Gold Crona Inn, with strange vampires on their heels; Dracula's coffin is in the barn and Wetzel sits there at night — 00:00:58–00:02:42.
- 00:02:45 Wetzel, at a loss without Dracula to serve (Perception 20, not natural), notices a small cloaked figure creeping into the barn, hides (Stealth 14), and climbs into the carriage to speak softly to Dracula, who answers in his mind (Arcana 19) — 00:03:37–00:06:36.
- 00:06:36 The carriage door opens: a muddy little girl in a newsy cap, Florina; a battle of questions and "hat twins"; Wetzel (16) learns she wants to meet Dracula and be made a vampire — 00:06:36–00:10:40.
- 00:12:04 May comes in hungry; Aleksandr is "now" there too; Florina calls him Grandfather; May drinks from Wetzel's teacup pig — 00:12:04–00:13:25.
- 00:13:34 Aleksandr questions Florina; Wetzel's Insight (natural 20) shows she is lying; she wants Dracula to turn her, learns he is dying, and tries to get paid for silence; Wetzel starts peeling off his skin; May charms her (Wisdom save 4), takes one blood point from the pig with a straw, and tells her she will forget the conversation; under the charm Florina hands over her hat (given back at 00:23:24); she says her mother left and her father was killed by a werewolf; Aleksandr, who has 15 sons, always wanted a daughter — 00:13:34–00:17:12.
- 00:17:27 Squing appears and scares Florina; she pitches her skills (feigning distress to bring food, going unseen, information: vampires at the inn are preparing a welcome-back party for Dracula); she is hired with no pay and wants four letters of recommendation — 00:17:27–00:23:46.
- 00:22:01 The party asks for a "French" breakfast; Florina runs off to the inn — 00:22:01–00:23:52.
- 00:23:52 The humans have rested; the undead spend blood points (May's 2d6 gives 8); Florina's mission goes badly (rolls 2, 4 and 8) — 00:23:52–00:25:20.
- 00:25:39 Florina comes back with four people; History checks identify them as AIMS, the Allied International Monster Slayers, led by Daciana Lee, who holds Florina by the scruff — 00:25:39–00:27:30.
- 00:27:30 A tense talk becomes friendly (Aleksandr's Persuasion 14): AIMS has a treaty with Dracula, heard he is ailing, and has come for a convention — 00:28:33–00:31:27.
- 00:31:41 Squing lies about the train (Deception 21); Daciana asks for the bridge men to be dealt with (Benjamin Strum named) in a "trade"; she gives Aleksandr an elephant bracelet (+1 AC, cold resistance) and he gives her his contraption detector; AIMS members named — 00:32:48–00:39:14.
- 00:39:17 Drago hitches the cold shadow beasts; jokes about Europe and hay; Florina begs to join and collects signatures; Wetzel draws a hiding place under the carriage — 00:39:20–00:43:05.
- 00:43:21 Departure; Arcana/History checks on "ancestral soil"; Wetzel realizes it is where Dracula left his humanity behind — 00:44:17–00:45:46.
- 00:45:46 The road out of Fagari into the marshy wilds; a swamp song; the wives' carriage blocks the road — 00:45:46–00:48:39.
- 00:48:39 Zaria: she and the other wives are leaving the castle to follow their dreams; May's career lies (Deception 14); Persuasion about Dracula's face (16); Zaria gives May a letter and a candle; May reads Dracula's letter aloud; goodbyes and May's new Disturbing Cackle — 00:49:21–01:06:09.
- 01:03:31 Dracula in Wetzel's mind: "If I die, your dreams die." — 01:03:36–01:05:00.
- 01:06:54 The bridge: a blockade, a broken carriage hanging off the slats, the vampires Keith and a human union leader, Benjamin Strum, arguing; talk of flight potions and killing everybody — 01:06:54–01:10:56.
- 01:10:57 Wetzel (Stealth 25) snatches a worker; Squing bites him (4 blood points) and he dies; Wetzel takes his wallet ("Bobby Bobby"); May is healed; May's Deception 29 convinces Keith — 01:11:03–01:15:19.
- 01:15:21 Benjamin, offered a repaired bridge, nearly blurts out Dracula's condition; Aleksandr's Insight (20) and surprise shove (16) send him and Aleksandr into the river; May's tendrils pull Aleksandr back (6 damage); the union runs after Benjamin; Squing and May bite a straggler — 01:15:21–01:21:05.
- 01:21:11 Squing investigates the broken carriage (11) and pushes it into the river (Athletics 21), passing a Wisdom save (21); Aleksandr mends the bridge while Keith and the vampires stand around — 01:21:11–01:28:46.
- 01:28:50 Squing flies up (Perception 16, advantage) and sees trouble at Fagari, movement in the trees, and Florina grappling with Dimitri on the back of the carriage — 01:28:50–01:30:00.
- 01:30:09 Dimitri's warning; he gives Squing a blessing (10 blood points, a swollen head, two Zarb cards) and leaves — 01:30:23–01:35:27.
- 01:35:27 Florina's reward; Aleksandr gets a candle and Dracula's letter stolen from Dimitri's bag, reads it aloud, is inspired (Intelligence 22: a special forbidden alchemy); Squing's letter-eating; Florina's hat and the L — 01:35:36–01:42:39.
- 01:42:39 Wolves howl; Perception checks; Drago: "We must make for the canyon." A wheel spoke is ripped off; Boldness potion; Zarb summoned; Drago reveals a ballista; roll for initiative — 01:42:44–01:46:52.
- 01:47:08 Closing words and the next-episode preview (Episode 4: Waylaid by Werewolves) — 01:47:08–01:47:53.
Frames
Key quotes
- “you set it on fire.” — Jasmine 0:00:58
- “Who the fuck are you?” — Florina 0:07:15
- “I have 15 sons, okay? I always wanted a daughter.” — Aleksandr 0:17:12
- “We have a treaty with your boss.” — Daciana 0:29:14
- “I'm always in the destruction business.” — Aleksandr 0:38:41
- “Well, May inspired us. She went out and she discovered her dreams.” — Zaria 0:50:07
- “Half of my head is blown off over here.” — Dracula 1:04:19
- “His name's Bobby Bobby.” — Wetzel 1:12:32
- “I am simply restraining myself.” — Dimitri 1:30:36
- “I will save you, friend.” — Aleksandr 1:36:56
Who and what appears
Player characters
NPCs
- Allied International Monster Slayers
- Benjamin Strum
- Bobby Bobby
- Christine
- Count Dracula
- Daciana Lee
- Dimitri
- Drago
- Florina
- Keith
- Raviana
- Werewolves (Transylvania)
- Zarb
- Zaria
Locations
- Castle Dracula
- Fagari
- Gold Crona Inn
- The bridge (Transylvania)
- The canyon below Castle Dracula
- The haunted, werewolf-infested forest
- The road and wilds
Items and artifacts
- Aleksandr's wedding ring
- Ballista
- Candles
- Contraption detector
- Diving helm
- Dracula's letter to Aleksandr
- Dracula's letter to Zaria
- Elephant bracelet
- Flight elixir
- Florina's caps
- Forbidden alchemy card
- Letters of recommendation
- Shadow beasts
Factions and organizations
Creatures
Roll log
| Time | Character (player) | Roll | Result | DC / AC | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00:03:37 | Wetzel (Carlos) | Perception | 20, not natural ("a dirty 20") | — | Notices the figure |
| 00:04:16 | Wetzel (Carlos) | Stealth | 14 | — | Unnoticed |
| 00:05:28 | Wetzel (Carlos) | Arcana | 19 | — | Hears Dracula in his mind |
| 00:10:33 | Wetzel (Carlos) | Persuasion/Intimidation | 16 | — | Florina tells her aim |
| 00:13:57 | Wetzel (Carlos) | Insight | natural 20 | — | Knows Florina lies |
| 00:15:36 | Florina (Jasmine) | Wisdom save vs Charm Person | 4 | — | Charmed |
| 00:24:55 | May (Erika) | Healing from blood points | 2d6, eight | — | Heals |
| 00:25:20 | Florina (Jasmine) | Mission rolls | 2, 4 and 8 | — | Brings the AIMS |
| 00:25:51 | May / Squing / Wetzel / Aleksandr | History | dirty 20 / 22 / 8 / 16 | — | Jasmine names the 16 and dirty 20 as recognizing the guild |
| 00:30:52 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Persuasion | 14 ("I was about to say 31") | — | Daciana softens |
| 00:32:53 | Squing (Zac) | Deception | 21 | — | Daciana accepts the train story |
| 00:44:38 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Arcana/History | 12 and 19 | — | Ancestral soil |
| 00:55:06 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Deception | 14 | — | Low; Zaria's hackles up |
| 00:57:24 | Aleksandr (Izzy) / May (Erika) | Persuasion | 16 / "18, minus two" | Zaria's 12 | Zaria drops the wish to see Dracula |
| 01:11:09 | Wetzel (Carlos) | Stealth | 25 | — | Grabs a worker |
| 01:11:56 | Squing (Zac) | Blood drinking | 1d4+2, four blood points | — | Drains him |
| 01:12:29 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Healing potion | 2d4 + Int, eight | — | Heals May |
| 01:14:21 | Squing / Aleksandr / May | Deception | 7 / 7 / 29 | — | Keith believes the 29 |
| 01:16:23 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Insight with Flash of Genius | 12 + 3 + 5, "dirty 20" | — | Sees Benjamin's slip coming |
| 01:17:22 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Shove (Dex), advantage, Flash of Genius | 10 + 1 + 5 = 16 | — | Benjamin and Aleksandr fall in |
| 01:20:48 | Squing (Zac) | Bite attack | 20 to hit | — | Hits; five blood points |
| 01:20:51 | May (Erika) | Bite | — | — | Six blood points |
| 01:22:24 | Squing (Zac) | Investigation | 11 | — | The carriage was clawed |
| 01:23:29 | Squing (Zac) | Athletics | 21 | — | Carriage goes in the river |
| 01:23:50 | Squing (Zac) | Wisdom save | 21 | — | Holds fear at bay |
| 01:29:07 | Squing (Zac) | Perception, advantage | 16 | — | Sees three things |
| 01:39:10 | Aleksandr (Izzy) | Intelligence | 22 | — | Special alchemy |
| 01:43:53 | Squing / May / Aleksandr / Wetzel | Perception | 12 / 4 / 13 / 9 | — | Footfalls only |
Natural 20s: Wetzel 1 (Insight) · Natural 1s: none stated. The "dirty 20"s (Wetzel's Perception, May's History, Aleksandr's Insight) are totals.