This page is about something from an episode you haven't watched yet. Change “watched up to” to see it.
Player characters · first: CR E1
Wetzel
In the first episode Wetzel is described as a once-handsome young man with scars on his face that he has to glue back down every morning because his skin has been flayed; his right arm is metal, and he wears a big trench coat with a little daisy on it CR E1·00:25:20 CR E1·00:25:37. He is very happy and sunny, hums the swamp song, and says he is staying with his best friends at the inn, waiting for the Count to come in CR E1·00:26:27. He says "I'm gonna be a vampire. That's what I… I just feel like that's what I've been made for" CR E1·00:27:42. He calls Dr. Aleksandr "phenomenal" CR E1·00:28:35. He tells Drago he cheers himself up with a pep talk to a mirror CR E1·00:30:31.
Wetzel is a flayed, cheerful servant of Count Dracula's household with a metal arm that extends up to 10 feet, and his greatest wish is to be turned into a vampire CR E1·00:25:20 CR E1·00:27:42 CR E4·00:24:26. He befriends Drago and persuades him to use the pep-talk mirror CR E1·00:31:20. When the coffin is opened Dracula calls him "my little flay thing" CR E1·00:58:39. In the second episode he is charmed by Razvan, snaps out of it and insults him, and then jumps onto the moving train and uncouples the cars CR E2·00:05:40 CR E2·00:31:59 CR E2·00:59:56. He is handed a letter that looks addressed to him, but it is addressed to Setzer and praises Setzer over him, and he reads aloud the lines he had withheld, which say he is too preoccupied with his own flesh to hear Dracula CR E2·01:34:04 CR E2·01:36:23 CR E2·01:38:14. Afterwards he says he still loves Dracula and has lost the urgency to bring him back CR E2·01:54:52.
In the third episode Wetzel keeps watch over the wounded Dracula and draws Florina a hiding spot rather than signing her letter CR E3·00:04:55 CR E3·00:42:49. In the fourth episode he sneak-attacks a werewolf from inside the carriage CR E4·00:26:52. He pulls Drago up with a flight potion, saying "I would never leave you, brother" CR E4·01:38:52. In the fifth episode, at the castle, he finds a letter in the plant that offers to grant his wish to become a vampire after all is done CR E5·00:44:52 CR E5·00:45:45. He says "it's all I've ever wanted" CR E5·00:47:04.
In the sixth episode he feeds an antiquer to the starving Dracula CR E6·01:21:45. May says the party owes Wetzel more than "get back to work" CR E6·01:26:26. He tells Dracula "I don't know if this is really for me" CR E6·01:26:47. Dracula answers "there is no rush" CR E6·01:27:52. He then says "There's just gotta be an end" CR E6·01:28:10. He asks Drago "You could always be a main character tomorrow. Wanna come with?", and they leave together for Cairo CR E6·01:37:31 CR E6·01:38:47.
Character sheet — Coffin Run
Coffin Run sheet of Wetzel (played by Carlos Luna). Only what is said in play or shown on the on-screen stat cards; dotted values are derived from spoken rolls. Values shown are the latest up to your chosen episode.
Race
Human CR E1·00:25:53—
Class
Rogue CR E1·00:25:53—
Subclass
Mastermind CR E1·00:25:53—
Level
AC
14 CR E1·00:25:53—
Speed
30 CR E4·01:13:49—
Spell save DC
Spell attack
+3 CR E2·00:03:24—
STR
+2 CR E1·00:25:53—
DEX
+3 CR E1·00:25:53—
CON
+2 CR E1·00:25:53—
INT
+0 CR E1·00:25:53—
WIS
+1 CR E1·00:25:53—
CHA
+1 CR E1·00:25:53—
Skills
- Stealth: +9 CR E4·00:26:52—
Features
- Description — A once-handsome young man with scars on his face that he glues back down every morning because his skin has been flayed; his right arm is metal; big trench coat with a little daisy on the side; very happy and sunny CR E1·00:25:37
- Wish to become a vampire — Wants to become a vampire: "I'm gonna be a vampire. That's what I… I just feel like that's what I've been made for." CR E1·00:27:42
- Pep talk — Tells a crying Drago how he pulls out his mirror and gives himself a little pep talk; Drago tries it (Persuasion 19) CR E1·00:30:31 CR E1·00:31:07
- Hydraulic fluid — Extends his metal hand and projects a stream of hydraulic fluid from the palm at a creature in range: Constitution save against 11, 1d12 poison damage; the target fails the save and takes 5 CR E2·00:32:09 CR E2·00:32:33 CR E2·00:32:56 CR E2·00:33:01
- Extendable metal arm — Makes his metal hand extend 10 feet and attacks with a "slash arm hand type deal": 16 plus 6, 22 hits; the table settles that Aleksandr built the arm CR E4·00:24:26 CR E4·00:24:29 CR E4·00:24:35 CR E4·00:25:18 CR E4·00:26:30
- Sneak attack — Asks to use his sneak attack on a werewolf and gets it from a Stealth check of 25 (+9) from inside the carriage: the werewolf has no clue he is there; 19 plus 3, 22 damage CR E4·00:26:30 CR E4·00:26:52 CR E4·00:27:16
- Metal arm raised for AC — Reaction: raises his metal arm for +5 to AC against a bite CR E4·01:00:10
- Enraged Frenzy — Unlocked when he fails a Wisdom save (8) after spitting on a werewolf; a sheet of paper is handed over: advantage on Strength checks and saving throws, two extra damage dice on melee attacks, no spells or concentration, resistance to slashing, bludgeoning and piercing; after three rounds he is drained, his speed is halved and he has disadvantage on Dex checks and saves CR E4·01:01:02 CR E4·01:01:20 CR E4·01:01:23
- Pretzel Bender — Ability that comes with the frenzy: a grapple check against the target; on a success it is incapacitated and takes 3d8 bludgeoning damage, and it must succeed on a DC 13 saving throw to escape CR E4·01:01:23
- Turns down becoming a vampire — In CR_06 he decides against being turned and leaves the castle with Drago: "If this is the price... I don't know, I don't know if this is really for me." CR E6·01:26:47 CR E6·01:28:10 CR E6·01:35:22 CR E6·01:37:42
- Striking Ground — Strikes the ground with his metal arm: a tremor in a 10-foot radius, a Dexterity save; on a failure 1d6 bludgeoning damage and knocked prone, and the area becomes difficult terrain CR E6·00:20:52 CR E6·00:21:24 CR E6·00:21:34
- Roguish Scanning — Uses his Roguish Scanning ability, a Perception check, to look over the room CR E6·00:22:19 CR E6·00:22:20
- Uncanny Dodge — Uses Uncanny Dodge as a reaction to reduce the damage of a hit CR E6·00:37:26 CR E6·00:37:27 CR E6·00:37:35
- Sneak attack dice — Sneak attack in a frenzy: two extra dice from Enraged Frenzy, four from his sneak attack and one regular CR E6·00:53:40
Items
- Notebook — Pulls out a notebook and writes down Drago's story about the nickname CR E1·00:27:26
- Mirror — A really cool mirror he pulls out to give himself a pep talk CR E1·00:30:31
- Aftercare Ice Pack — A throwable he reads off: a ranged spell attack against a target for 1d10 piercing damage, then the pack explodes and everything within five feet makes a Dexterity save; thrown at the hatchet man (Razvan): the attack misses (10 against 16), the pack still explodes against the crates and barrels, and Razvan beats the DC 11 save with a 16, unhurt CR E2·00:02:17 CR E2·00:02:45 CR E2·00:03:16 CR E2·00:03:24 CR E2·00:04:02 CR E2·00:04:29
- Talisman fish — Squing's dead, rotting fish talisman is put around his neck by Zarb; he adds it to an Acrobatics check CR E2·00:12:41 CR E2·00:12:54 CR E2·01:16:20
- Dracula's letter to Wetzel — A letter and candle from the castle, addressed to him; he almost doesn't want to break the seal CR E2·01:31:31 CR E2·01:31:42
- Talisman fish back with Squing — Squing offers his talisman again and later uses it on himself, saying he hasn't given it to anyone; nobody says when Wetzel gave it back CR E3·01:16:19 CR E4·00:20:26
- Teacup pig — His teacup pig; May drinks from it CR E3·00:12:18 CR E3·00:13:11
- Union worker's wallet — Pulls a wallet out of the dead union worker he carried and finds a library card CR E3·01:12:27 CR E3·01:12:45
- Flight potion — Tossed to him by Aleksandr; he downs his energy drink, a flight drink, and extends his hand to Drago CR E4·01:32:58 CR E4·01:37:36
- Bridge seal — Frees Drago from a spectral ribbon (Sleight of Hand 21); Drago calls the bridge scroll old protective magic, removes its seal and hands it to him; Investigation 5 tells him nothing; Drago believes it will protect him if his heart is true CR E5·00:23:50 CR E5·00:22:08 CR E5·00:23:00 CR E5·00:24:12 CR E5·00:24:25 CR E6·00:22:40
- Dracula's letter found in the plant — Cuts open the plant and finds a letter addressed to him and reads it aloud CR E5·00:44:52 CR E5·00:45:45
By episode
CR E1: Down For The Count
- Description: "once-handsome young man, but he definitely has scars on his face"; every morning "he has to glue them back down 'cause his skin has been flayed"; "His right arm is metal"; "big trench coat and he has a little Daisy on the side"; "very happy, very sunny" — 00:25:20–00:25:37
- Hums the swamp song; staying "with my best friends at this inn, waiting for CD to come in" — 00:26:27
- Wants to become a vampire: "I'm gonna be a vampire. That's what I… I just feel like that's what I've been made for." — 00:27:42; "Everyone that I've met has been super nice." — 00:28:10
- Mentions Dr. Aleks as "phenomenal" and says he has been talking to him — 00:28:35
- Carries a notebook and writes down Drago's story about the nickname — 00:27:26
- Pep-talk mirror: "I just pull out this really cool mirror and I just give myself a little pep talk." — 00:30:31
- Persuasion on Drago: 19 — 00:31:20
- On top of the carriage as lookout: skin flaps "like a dog outside a car window" — 00:40:25–00:40:33
- Impatient to open the coffin: "Can we open the fucking coffin already?" — 00:55:44; intimidation 22 — 00:56:01
- Dracula calls him "my little flay thing" — 00:58:39
- Initiative 21; placed "groveling near the master" — 01:03:22, 01:05:37
CR E2: Attacks on the Tracks
- Round 1 start: "Master, no, master!" — 00:02:14; his skin moves "like that dinosaur from" Jurassic Park — 00:02:17
- Ice pack: attack total 10 against 16, a miss — 00:03:16, 00:03:24
- Charmed: "Oh, uh, ooh, so sorry about..." — 00:05:34; walks over to Razvan "in a friendly fashion" — 00:05:40
- Snaps out with a 24 including Flash of Genius +5: "I don't know you, hatchet face, ugly-looking, uht-oh fucker." — 00:31:59
- Hydraulic fluid spray; "I thought you'd be screaming in terror, maybe running for cover." — 00:33:38
- Jumps on the train, Acrobatics 18; asks whether "shock play" on the mist is a thing and whether the mist is solid, casts nothing, then goes to unpin the cars — 00:57:51–00:59:25; uncouples the cars (Sleight of Hand 12, +d4 = 16) — 00:59:56–01:00:03
- On the moving train: "It's like a Halloween hay ride right now." — 00:58:35
- Acrobatics 26 to leap to the carriage, with talisman — 01:16:27–01:16:36
- Takes the letter: "Ooh, this is Count Dracula's addressed a letter to me? I almost don't wanna break the seal." — 01:31:42; "It even smells like him." — 01:32:13; "This is the greatest thing that's ever happened." — 01:32:34
- Reading it, the letter is to Setzer; "It's like I got, I got the letter, and it was all like Christmas birthday all in one." — 01:36:23
- After the hidden lines: "It's like a million fucking volcanoes are burning down every single part of my insides." — 01:36:39
- Breaks the carriage spokes in anger: "He starts breaking like the spokes on the wheels." — 01:37:22; held with Hold Person, Wisdom save failed ("crit fail", no number said) — 01:37:50
- Reads out the withheld text — 01:38:14
- Crisis: "I've never asked the master for anything" — 01:37:13; "I've kinda lost the urgency to bring this." — 01:54:52; "It's hard because I, you know, I still love him." — 01:54:52
- Fear: "He's not gonna ever turn me, you know?" — 01:56:26
- Resolution: "I think if I let Dracula die, I don't get to tell him off." — 02:01:16
- To Squing: "You fucking letter eater! I've had enough of you." — 01:57:17
- Winks at the party after Drago's talk; "You got Wetzeled, bitch!" — 02:03:13
CR E3: Let's Kill Everybody
- Alone in the barn after Dracula's wound: "Having a nervous breakdown?" — 00:02:45; Perception 20, not natural — 00:03:37
- Hides in the carriage and speaks softly to Dracula; Dracula answers in his mind — 00:04:55–00:05:36
- Insight natural 20: Florina is lying — 00:13:57; "Is this a fucking shakedown?" — 00:15:06; starts peeling off his skin — 00:15:13
- Draws a diagram of a hiding spot under the carriage instead of signing Florina's letter — 00:42:49
- Realizes what ancestral soil means to Dracula and keeps it to himself — 00:45:05–00:45:29
- Sings "My wife left me for a man in the swamp." — 00:48:08
- Says the wrong thing aloud about Dracula's face — 00:56:21; Aleksandr: "Wetzel, I think you were sort of saying the wrong parts out loud." — 00:56:35
- Dracula in his mind: "If I die, your dreams die." — 01:03:36
- Stealth 25: grabs a union worker at the bridge — 01:11:09, 01:11:19; takes his wallet, a library card — 01:12:27, 01:12:45; carries the body — 01:21:02–01:21:05
- Perception 9 for the wolves — 01:43:59
CR E4: Waylaid by Werewolves
- Inside the carriage with the coffin; initiative "Seven" — 00:02:19
- Extendable metal arm, 10 feet; attacks with the "slash arm hand type deal": 16 + 6 = 22 hits — 00:24:26–00:26:30
- Stealth 25 (+9) from inside the carriage lets him sneak attack through the torn-off door: 22 damage to werewolf three — 00:26:52–00:27:19
- Cries "Master!" and "How dare you!" when the coffin is dragged out and its lid pried — 00:31:01, 00:31:29
- Looks under the carriage for Florina: "Okay, I need you to be a God damn hero right now." and throws her to the roof with his extendable hand — 00:55:11, 00:55:14
- Jasmine on his arm: "I feel like Dracula broke your body." — 00:25:09
- Reaction: raises the metal arm for +5 AC against a bite; spits on the werewolf; Wisdom save 8 fails; unlocks Enraged Frenzy; his voice changes — 01:00:10–01:02:32
- Narration after the Frenzy: "Part of you wonders if he wanted you to get that letter" — 01:02:51
- Takes half damage 10 from May's scream; has advantage on the save and rolls 19 — 01:04:55, 01:06:09
- Runs past the frightened werewolf; "Ever hear of a CAT scan?" — 01:13:27
- Strength save 19 on the lurching carriage — 01:37:10
- Drinks the flight potion, pulls Drago up with his hand; "I would never leave you, brother." — 01:37:36, 01:38:52
CR E5: Drac's Moved-In Castle
- Sleight of hand 21 removes the spectral seal from Drago — 00:22:03; Arcana 7 on the scroll; Investigation 5 on the seal — 00:22:55, 00:24:12
- Receives the scroll seal from Drago; "We're gonna work on that." — 00:24:34
- Survival 7 for the plant's food; Perception 7 — 00:36:40, 00:41:27; feeds the plant a sack he mistakes for flower food: "I thought this rat with a circle and a line through it was a flower of some sort" — 00:42:48
- Cuts open the plant and finds a letter — 00:44:52–00:45:26; reads it: "If, after all is said and done, you still wish to become a vampire <…> I will grant your wish" — 00:45:45
- "I mean, it's all I've ever wanted." — 00:47:04; "I'm gonna be just like one of you guys." — 00:47:51
- Hype man in Enraged Frenzy giving Squing the help action — 00:54:26–00:54:56
- Group intimidation: "Crit fail." — 01:28:28
CR E6: Feed the Beast
- Initiative 17; "Dad?" and "Feed the beast, feed the beast!" at the first meal — 00:05:47, 00:10:39–00:10:41
- Striking Ground with his metal arm (10-foot radius, Dexterity save, 1d6 and prone; the targets' Dexterity save was a three, "They rolled a three and they are knocked prone.") — 00:20:52–00:21:37
- Roguish Scanning Perception 4; thinks of the ribbon in his pocket — "Uh no, not now." — 00:22:20–00:22:51
- Stabbed by Rasputin (22 hits, 14 piercing), uses Uncanny Dodge; opportunity attack 12 (17 with Flash of Genius) for 7 — 00:37:15–00:38:42
- Pulls the candelabra and slides down; Enraged Frenzy; pep talk to a mirror; sneak attack 22 for 20 damage; pulls the candelabra again — 00:51:09–00:54:31
- Throws a tourist into Dracula's mouth: "I'm so sorry, I have to feed the Master He's so hungry!" — 01:21:45
- Tells Dracula: "I don't know, I don't know if this is really for me." — 01:26:47; Dracula: "there is no rush. Take all the time to think that you want for my life is endless." — 01:27:52
- To Drago on the spire: "You could always be a main character tomorrow. Wanna come with?" — 01:37:31; "A fucking coffin run!" — 01:36:59
- His reason for going: "I saw this giant room of all this stuff that he had collected and I just thought to myself, "I've seen nothing. I've really done nothing."" — 01:35:22; Drago: "things are meaningless if you have no one to share them with and no stories to tell about them." — 01:36:16
- Leaves with Drago for Cairo and misses the midnight meeting — 01:33:56, 01:38:47