Party Politics

0:00:19 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 6: Party Politics < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] > [Intro Theme]

0:00:48 Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome back to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year". I am your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our Intrepid Heroes. Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:00:57 All: Hi, Intrepid Heroes! Zac rolls a d20.

0:01:02 Ally: Nat 20?

0:01:02 Zac: 17.

0:01:03 Lou: Ehh. [rock music]

0:01:04 Brennan: Last we left off, our Intrepid Heroes had to leap to action as Adaine, working her part time job at Oodles of Strudel— Siobhan salutes.

0:01:13 Brennan: Happened to witness the sudden, horrifying transformation of Cassandra, Kristen's goddess of doubt, mystery, and the night. The presence of Kalina the Shadow Cat, as the newly-resurrected familiar of this goddess, seemed horrified by what now happened as sort of chittering, shifting, tinkling orbs of sharp razor crystal, glowing red, emerged from the chest of this goddess, her blood pooling on the floor as the shards took control of a series of mages around the synod's food court. Many brave mages fell in the advance of the rage stars, even Conor Counterspell, whom we remember fondly.

0:01:56 Emily: No!

0:01:59 Siobhan: He died so we could live. [Emily laughs]

0:02:00 Brennan: He died so you could live. Moments before being taken over by one of the shatter-stars, Kalina looked at Riz and grunted the name Ragh Barkrock through pain and effort. Cassandra, looking out into the distance and addressing someone we could not see seemed to say, "I thought you were dead." And in a moment of Bardic Inspiration, a shrimp was offered from a platter to Fig Faeth who, knocking the platter, sent a shrimp spiraling through the air into Cassandra's throat as a wet floor sign from the upper deck of a rage mage was kicked and hit her in the head, stunning her. A harrowing amount of bad luck for the goddess with one cleric, one follower, and—

0:02:43 Siobhan: And a shrimp allergy, apparently.

0:02:45 Brennan: And a shrimp allergy. I guess the deific resistance to food allergies kicks in at like 10 followers?

0:02:53 Ally: [laughs] Damn.

0:02:55 Siobhan: You fucked up. You fucked up real bad.

0:02:57 Ally: So she's gone?

0:02:59 Brennan: She's gone. And as she departed, a number of glowing diamond shards of purple twilight energy are all that Kristen has left as you arrive. But the sudden seeming destruction of a divinity and the sundering of the synod's food court— the wizard's mall within the Astral Realm, yes, that was a harrowing experience. But I'll tell you what wasn't. The ultimate shrimp jump! As Kristen Applebees— [players clap]

0:03:31 Murph: [doing air quotes] "Kristen Applebees."

0:03:33 Brennan: As "Kristen Applebees," wink.

0:03:36 Emily: Krisfig Applebees.

0:03:37 Brennan: So far, Fig has sealed the Night Yorb and nailed the campaign motorcycle jump.

0:03:39 Murph: Oh yeah!

0:03:42 Brennan: Both attributed to other party members.

0:03:48 Emily: I operate in the shadows.

0:03:52 Brennan: Arriving back at the party, there were also sinister words in Kristen's mind as the rotting body of the god Yes! was sort of shunted into the Material Plane briefly, slimy and corpulent, before it was banished back by Kristen into the Astral Realm. All of that happened last time. But the party has kicked off! Oh baby, let's go! It is party time at Seacaster Manor. As the party rages, Kristen, Greater Invisibility, holding the shards of your maybe dead or destroyed goddess.

0:04:32 Ally: Yeah, great.

0:04:34 Brennan: But the Hangman, dressed as a shrimp, with Fig, dressed as Kristen Applebees, just landed this awesome thing on a ramp that was made by Torek today and buttered to perfection by Ragh Barkrock.

0:04:47 Zac: I don't get the butter.

0:04:47 Lou: It's essential.

0:04:50 Ragh: We're buttered up, dude! We're buttered up!

0:04:52 Gorgug: Why?

0:04:54 Brennan: You see tartar sauce everywhere.

0:04:57 Emily: Oh, all the tartar sauce is on fire.

0:04:58 Brennan: Yes, Fireball.

0:04:58 Emily: Please don't forget that.

0:05:02 Zac: And it's just staying on fire?

0:05:04 Siobhan: Really high alcohol level in that tartar sauce.

0:05:07 Brennan: It's like an hour into the party when we come back. It is raging here. There are Hudol kids. There are Mumple kids. Basically every upperclassman from Aguefort is here. Music going berserk, sound system pumping. You see that there's a giant banner saying, "It's always happy hour at Applebees." There's a little social clip playing on a projector of you in the lobby of a steelworkers factory saying, "We make steel here."

0:05:35 Ally: And it cuts off really abruptly before I get hit with a buzzsaw to the eye.

0:05:40 Murph: There's a weird motion like you're about to run.

0:05:43 Ally: “We make steel he—” And then it cuts off.

0:05:46 Emily: Three frames of us getting dragged out.

0:05:49 Brennan: The mood has descended early. People are acting rowdier than they are even drunk, right? It's like the night has just gotten rowdy right away. Ragh Barkrock has started a sumo wrestling competition on the felt of Fabian's pool table in the rec room.

0:06:07 Fabian: That's perfectly fine.

0:06:07 Zac: I'm trying to talk to him.

0:06:11 Ragh: What's up? What's up, dude?

0:06:13 Gorgug: Can we—

0:06:13 Ragh: Crab king! Crab king! If you wanna talk to the crab king, you gotta knock him off his crab mountain.

0:06:20 Gorgug: Is there a line? Can I just—

0:06:23 Ragh: There's a big fuckin' line, dude. Get in line, broski.

0:06:26 Zac: Get to the end of the very long line.

0:06:27 Brennan: The end of the line of people coming up to—

0:06:29 Ally: You step on my foot.

0:06:29 Kristen: Ow. Sorry, I—

0:06:33 Riz: You can come out of invisibility now if you want. It was just because—

0:06:37 Kristen: 'Cause I was doing a sick jump.

0:06:38 Riz: We didn't want you to beef it on the jump.

0:06:40 Kristen: That's very true.

0:06:40 Ally: I come out of invisibility.

0:06:43 Brennan: You come out of invisibility, a couple of little shards in your hand.

0:06:49 Ally: Okay.

0:06:52 Emily: I walk behind you, still you. “Kristen” (Fig): Oh fuck.

0:06:56 Kristen: No, you're doing a better job.

0:06:57 Ally: Can I go back to being invisible?

0:07:01 Brennan: Re-trigger the invisibility.

0:07:03 Ally: I don't know if I can, actually.

0:07:06 Brennan: I will say, also, in this moment, as you are looking at those shards, Adaine, you get a message on your crystal from Oodles of Strudel Corporate saying that your position has been terminated and that you owe the balance of your uniform and some of the accoutrements that was destroyed. So you have a balance of about 2 1/2 gold pieces owed to Oodles of Strudel for your first shift.

0:07:32 Adaine: Let's get drunk!

0:07:36 Siobhan: I bring Kristen a drink because I can see her, because I have my divination thing.

0:07:43 Kristen: Thank you. What is it?

0:07:45 Adaine: It was in the fridge in a bucket.

0:07:49 Gorgug: It might be milk.

0:07:50 Riz: It could be milk. We only know where the milk fridge is.

0:07:52 Fabian: It's probably milk!

0:07:52 Kristen: [sniffs it] It's milk.

0:07:54 Adaine: It's milk?

0:07:54 Kristen: But there's vodka in it. Smells like there's vodka in it.

0:07:58 Adaine: I think somebody just found a bucket and poured milk and vodka into the bucket.

0:08:02 Kristen: It's delicious. It's delicious.

0:08:05 Gorgug: I batched a milk vodka.

0:08:05 Riz: Okay, alright.

0:08:05 Kristen: Oh my god. Wow.

0:08:08 Fabian: We made jungle juice before you all came over! This is what they drink in the jungle, yes?

0:08:14 Kristen: Okay. I feel like a bad baby.

0:08:17 Adaine: The vodka kinda covers the taste of the milk, so that's good.

0:08:19 Kristen: Yeah, and the milk actually kinda covers the taste of the vodka. You can only taste one at a time.

0:08:25 Adaine: Yeah.

0:08:25 Kristen: I choose milk this time. [takes a sip] Mm! Now vodka. [takes another sip] Oh!

0:08:31 Riz: We should see if any of the Rat Grinders came to the party.

0:08:33 Adaine: Oh shit. Good idea.

0:08:34 Murph: Can we look around for Rat Grinders?

0:08:36 Ally: I'm still invisible. Can I get close?

0:08:37 Riz: We should also talk to Ragh, so maybe you stay on line, Gorgug. Is that cool?

0:08:41 Gorgug: It's just sort of not—

0:08:42 Riz: 'Cause we're gonna go grab a drink and also see if anyone else is around.

0:08:44 Kristen: Grab a drink and just see everyone.

0:08:46 Adaine: Can you stay in line and also carry my coat?

0:08:48 Kristen: Don't worry, Gorgug, I'll stay with you! [whispering to everyone else] All right, guys.

0:08:52 Gorgug: So, Kristen. I hope you feel comfortable enough at a certain point to just take the invisibility—

0:08:59 Ally: I don't do this to you. I don't do this to you. I don't do this to you.

0:09:04 Brennan: Anyone who wants to, go ahead and make an Investigation roll or a Perception roll.

0:09:12 Murph: Okay, I'll do Investigation. I'm rolling like Beardsley now. Everyone was yelling at me pre-show. [die clatters]

0:09:18 Ally: That's great.

0:09:19 Emily: I put his dice in the full moon.

0:09:20 Murph: 27.

0:09:21 Lou: Look at that.

0:09:21 Siobhan: There we go.

0:09:22 Brennan: 27, hell yeah.

0:09:24 Siobhan: I got a 12.

0:09:24 Zac: A new dawn.

0:09:25 Brennan: As you're going out, you guys kinda stay in a cluster. You get out to a back courtyard where the music [muffled party music] is thumping out of the house, but not as present. It's cool, lovely, early September evening out here. There's some fireflies out in the hedgerows. You see there's a massive topiary Bill Seacaster just bellowing and swinging a flowering scimitar blade. His giant pirate falchion is like, ooh, beautiful pink blossoms along the blade. You see that there is a giant ping-pong table set up out here. You see right now that Skrank and Shellford from the AV club are playing beer pong against two other Aguefort kids, it looks like. There's sort of a short-sleeved button-up, but a kind of muscular, handsome blue dragon student with some spectacles on his long, draconic snout. You see is standing next to a young sylvan, elven woman. You would guess they're probably juniors or seniors.

0:10:34 Emily: Do they have Rat Grinder...?

0:10:35 Brennan: No, you don't see that they have a Rat Grinder button on them. You get out to sort of look around this area. I think on a 27 Investigation, you don't see Kipperlilly anywhere here. Ruben is not here. You haven't found Mary Ann, but Mary Ann's quite small. You do see, standing at the sidelines of this game, wearing black pants, black shoes, black socks, white button-up shirt with a little badge of the Church of Helio—

0:11:08 Ally: [whispering] The cleric.

0:11:08 Brennan: ...is a little blond, smooth, hair is kind of slicked down, human who has a little corncob staff and a beer can in his hand.

0:11:18 Ally: It's filled with water!

0:11:22 Brennan: He looks and says,

0:11:23 Buddy: [southern accent] Wow, what a rousing game of sports, y'all. This is so lovely, that everyone could come together and be together in fellowship here at this beautiful party.

0:11:30 Fabian: Who's trying to feel like a bad baby? I've got some spiked milk for you. [ladling bad baby milk into cups]

0:11:37 Emily: Why does it look like you're spreading it like frosting?

0:11:40 Ally: It's a paintbrush and you just get your face painted.

0:11:42 Siobhan: So surprisingly thick.

0:11:43 Zac: I can just perfectly see how bad the ladle is.

0:11:47 Riz: Let's turn this beer pong into milk pong.

0:11:50 Lou: Yeah, I'd like to fill everyone there's cups, including the beer can, with spiked milk.

0:11:57 Brennan: Everyone's got spiked milk in their beer cans. Do you try to spike the kid?

0:11:59 Fabian: Oh yeah! Who's a bad baby? You're a bad baby?

0:12:05 Adaine: He looks like a bad baby to me, Fabian.

0:12:07 Fabian: He looks like a bad baby! Open up!

0:12:09 Buddy: Mr. Seacaster, goo goo ga ga. I'm afraid I'm a good baby, so thank you so much.

0:12:13 Fabian: [sighs] [Adaine scoffs]

0:12:17 Ally: Since I'm invisible, can I lean over the can and sniff? Do I smell actual beer?

0:12:21 Brennan: You smell pure water.

0:12:21 Kristen: [invisible] Yeah, that's right. Oldest trick in the book!

0:12:23 Ally: I stop myself.

0:12:27 Brennan: He goes,

0:12:27 Buddy: Lord? Helio?

0:12:27 Kristen: Yes, it's me.

0:12:31 Brennan: Give me a Deception roll.

0:12:33 Emily: Can I give them the Help action?

0:12:34 Ally: If I've ever wanted to crit in my life! [sighs] No. Okay, Deception? Oh! 19.

0:12:41 Emily: Ooh!

0:12:41 Siobhan: Oh, all right.

0:12:43 Brennan: You, Fabian, are looking into his eyes as you see he begins weeping and goes,

0:12:50 Buddy: Lord Helio, I've heard you speak to me so many times, but never in this voice.

0:12:56 Kristen: Totally, bro. You gotta drink the milk. You gotta drink a ton of that baby milk, the bad baby milk.

0:13:05 Murph: He doesn't need to drink the baby milk!

0:13:07 Buddy: Lord Helio, show your vision to me. In your wisdom, why must I drink the bad baby milk?

0:13:12 Kristen: You gotta drink all the bad—

0:13:12 Riz: Don't make him drink the bad—

0:13:14 Kristen: Drink all the bad baby milk you can.

0:13:16 Buddy: Mr. Seacaster, that's on me. You are a host and I don't wanna be a bad guest. Can you fill up this red solo cup with bad baby milk?

0:13:24 Fabian: I happily can. [starts ladling]

0:13:28 Buddy: That's full enough. That's almost tipping over.

0:13:31 Kristen: Now you gotta go tell the Applebees parents that their daughter's so good.

0:13:38 Brennan: Roll another Deception check.

0:13:39 Kristen: You gotta go right to their house.

0:13:43 Murph: Wait, why would you... Why would you give him so much liquor and then say, go to my parents house and tell them that I'm good?

0:13:49 Ally: I don't actually want him to drink liquor that he doesn't wanna drink. I'm self-sabotaging.

0:13:54 Brennan: You see he holds it and says,

0:13:56 Buddy: Now, is this really Helio or is this someone who might be a little bit more lost than that? And Mr. Seacaster, I apologize, but I'm gonna have to pour this baby milk back.

0:14:08 Ally: I kiss him deeply on the mouth.

0:14:10 Emily: I'm gonna walk up as Kristen Applebees.

0:14:14 Brennan: You see he goes,

0:14:14 Buddy: Helio, I'm sorry!

0:14:17 Ally: As I run away, I go,

0:14:17 Kristen: Perfect alibi.

0:14:22 Buddy: I heard that these high school parties in Solace were wild, but whew, this is really wild!

0:14:28 Fabian: It's a new year and it's a new era.

0:14:31 Buddy: So your father got this house from theft.

0:14:35 Fabian: Mm, well...

0:14:36 Adaine: He was a privateer.

0:14:38 Fabian: No, we don't say that anymore. We had a big fight. He was a pirate. He killed and murdered lots of people. But I guess this ship was his.

0:14:47 Buddy: Well, I know in my heart that in his final moments, he must have repented and gone—

0:14:52 Fabian: No. No. He's in Hell now.

0:14:57 Buddy: No!

0:14:57 Fabian: Fighting the Devil himself.

0:14:58 Buddy: No, don't say that about your—

0:15:00 Fabian: No, I've visited him.

0:15:01 Adaine: Oh, he's so happy there. He would not like it in Heaven.

0:15:03 Fabian: Yes, he actually really likes it there. He got a third arm.

0:15:06 Adaine: His boat is made of a dragon. It's rad.

0:15:09 Fabian: It's pretty cool. You should go to Hell sometime. I mean, I know you don't want to, but it's fun.

0:15:14 Buddy: So, I'm gonna give this milk back.

0:15:16 Fabian: Are you sure?

0:15:16 Buddy: Yes.

0:15:18 Fabian: Well, if you choose to be a bad baby—

0:15:18 Adaine: I'll take it!

0:15:18 Fabian: Yes.

0:15:20 Siobhan: I'm double fisting bad baby milk.

0:15:22 Fabian: We've got a whole year for you to decide you wanna be a bad baby.

0:15:26 Buddy: No, if I was gonna be a baby, I would want to be a baby that walks in the light of the corn god.

0:15:31 Fabian: Oh, that's so... You know, our friend Kristen was a big cornhead when we met. I mean, I guess that's rude to say. Was a big follower of Helio when we first met her.

0:15:42 Buddy: She was the chosen one.

0:15:43 Fabian: Yes.

0:15:43 Adaine: Sure.

0:15:44 Buddy: She was chosen by Helio.

0:15:45 Adaine: Who's the chosen one now? You? You're the chosen one?

0:15:47 Fabian: Are you the chosen one?

0:15:49 Adaine: Are you the chosen one now?

0:15:50 Brennan: Here, you see he gets kinda somber and he says,

0:15:53 Buddy: Well, that's not really how it works. When Kristen left the church, we lost our chosen one.

0:15:58 Adaine: Oh.

0:15:58 Fabian: Mm.

0:16:00 Buddy: How's things working out with her new god, though?

0:16:03 Adaine: Oh my god, her new god is, like, rad.

0:16:06 Fabian: So sick.

0:16:07 Adaine: So sick. So many people love her.

0:16:09 Fabian: Yeah, I follow—

0:16:09 Adaine: And they get on really well.

0:16:12 Fabian: Yeah, they have awesome... There's this guy that they hang out with named Craig.

0:16:16 Adaine: Oh, that guy rules.

0:16:16 Fabian: Craig is a firecracker!

0:16:19 Adaine: And okay, Helio chose her, but she chose Cassandra.

0:16:23 Fabian: Yes.

0:16:23 Adaine: That's important.

0:16:25 Ally: I'm crying.

0:16:28 Fabian: So, you know, it's awesome. It's awesome.

0:16:30 Adaine: Yeah.

0:16:30 Buddy: Well, that's lovely. Is Kristen around somewhere? I mean, other than right here. Hi, Kristen. “Kristen” (Fig): I forgot I was here. I'm glad that you said all those true things about me.

0:16:42 Lou: Of course. “Kristen” (Fig): I'm gonna go do another shrimp jump.

0:16:45 Fabian: Yes, hold it down!

0:16:45 Ally: Another shrimp jump?

0:16:49 Buddy: You're gonna do another one? It can't possibly be as good as the first!

0:16:52 Fabian: Oh, you'll see about that.

0:16:52 Adaine: We'll see about that.

0:16:54 Buddy: It can't possibly be as good as the first!

0:16:57 Riz: You're right, it can't possibly be as good as the first, that's true.

0:17:00 Buddy: Okay!

0:17:00 Riz: Maybe just—

0:17:02 Buddy: Hey everybody, we're about to see another shrimp jump! Here we go!

0:17:07 Fabian: Rack 'em up, rack 'em up, rack 'em up!

0:17:09 Brennan: The Hangman... [mimics engine revving]

0:17:11 Fig: Hangman, I need you to move that fiery tartar sauce to light the ramp on fire so we can't do this, okay?

0:17:20 Hangman: You need me to burn the ramp so that it is unusable?

0:17:24 Fig: Yeah.

0:17:24 Hangman: Very well.

0:17:26 Brennan: You see that the Hangman says,

0:17:28 Hangman: Ah, I'm going to put my shrimp costume back on.

0:17:31 Brennan: And then goes around a hedge and emerges in hellhound form. You see that Buddy goes,

0:17:37 Buddy: Oh my God! A servant of the Devil!

0:17:40 Brennan: You see that he says,

0:17:40 Hangman: Go fuck yourself!

0:17:42 Brennan: And then rushes off and breathes fire all over the ramp and sets fire to it.

0:17:50 Fabian: Oh shit! [players groaning]

0:17:52 Zac: Gorgug is inside. “Kristen” (Fig): That sucks.

0:17:54 Gorgug: [sniffs] Smells good.

0:17:54 Brennan: All that butter.

0:17:57 Lou: Warm, browning butter.

0:18:00 Siobhan: The dill gives it a little bit of piquancy.

0:18:02 Fabian: Where are your friends at?

0:18:05 Buddy: My friends?

0:18:06 Fabian: Yeah.

0:18:06 Riz: Yeah, your crew.

0:18:07 Fabian: Kipperlilly Copperkettle.

0:18:07 Riz: Your adventuring party.

0:18:09 Buddy: Oh, my adventuring party. Well, I'm so excited. Obviously, I moved here during the summer with my grandfather and grandmother from Highcourt, which is where I grew up. But I'm so excited to join. Kipperlilly, she is so bright. She is such a blessing and a gift. And Ruben is so incredibly talented.

0:18:34 Adaine: Sure, and you're cool with the song that he has about, "In Space No One Can Feel You Dying"? You're cool with that?

0:18:41 Buddy: You know, it's not the type of music that I would listen to but, you know, I think you can all agree that, you know, adventuring parties bring people together from disparate walks of life.

0:18:54 Ally: Can I do an Insight check on his positivity? Is it authentic?

0:18:58 Brennan: Yeah.

0:18:58 Ally: Okay. That is a 17.

0:19:03 Brennan: I think you recognize it from growing up in the church and growing up amongst the Harvestmen. On first glance, the fact that Buddy is here fraternizing, unless there's some secret nefarious reason that he's here to do this, right, would put him in a different category from the Harvestmen or Coach Daybreak. Coach Daybreak would not be able to be here and not be aggressive and hostile to people, right? But it doesn't mean that all of Buddy's positivity is sincere. I think you would read it in a more nuanced way. Buddy's positivity is partially coming from a genuine place. That genuine place is deeply judgmental, but maybe some part of him wants what's best for other people, but that wanting what's best for other people is cloaked in a really myopic sort of Manichaean worldview. So it's the mix of— it's all the good and bad stuff that you would—

0:19:54 Ally: It's extremely recognizable.

0:19:57 Brennan: Extremely recognizable. I don't think Kristen would clock it as positive, but that doesn't mean it's not genuine, right? It has all the problems you associate... You were this kid, so it's like, whatever you didn't like about your old self you feel like, oh, it's present in this kid who's also drinking water out of a beer can and is here being like, "I genuinely love everyone at this party, and I wanna keep you from doing the choices that are wrong that you're making."

0:20:22 Brennan: You know, that vibe, right?

0:20:22 Ally: Yeah, totally. Aw, okay.

0:20:25 Adaine: So why'd you join the Rat Grinders? Did you just get placed on them, or did you choose them specifically? “Kristen” (Fig): Yeah, did you replace someone?

0:20:33 Buddy: I was requested specifically.

0:20:36 Riz: Okay, so there must... Do you know, did something happen to somebody on their team? Because you just joined now, junior year, right?

0:20:43 Buddy: I just joined this last summer, that's right.

0:20:45 Riz: Do you know if they had any former members?

0:20:47 Buddy: Um… [wrinkles his brow]

0:20:49 Emily: Can I look at a yearbook? “Kristen” (Fig): Do you have a yearbook?

0:20:53 Fabian: Yes, somewhere.

0:20:54 Emily: Can I look at a yearbook and find the Rat Grinders from previous years?

0:20:58 Brennan: Yeah, give me a little Investigation check. [die rolling]

0:21:03 Ally: Can I help and do a little History check or something?

0:21:06 Brennan: Yeah, do a little History check.

0:21:09 Siobhan: How did they even find out about him?

0:21:10 Emily: 18.

0:21:11 Siobhan: Did we get an email that none of us read?

0:21:12 Brennan: 18, you're gonna go in and look for a yearbook.

0:21:15 Ally: 15.

0:21:16 Brennan: So Kristen and double Kristen—

0:21:18 Ally: Okay, I'll go with you, 'cause I wanna come back to the party so we can switch.

0:21:20 Brennan: Invisible Kristen and visible “Kristen” head off to Fabian's room.

0:21:24 Emily: I'm giving everyone really idiosyncratic high fives.

0:21:28 Brennan: As you guys are talking to Buddy out on the lawn, I think Riz, you're peeled a little way away. You see some kids are coming up to you. You see this very short, sort of anthropomorphic mole person comes up to you. You recognize him. His name is Molman Holden. He comes up and says,

0:21:46 Molman: Hey, I saw that you're applying to join the Soil Club!

0:21:49 Riz: Yeah, love soil.

0:21:52 Molman: Awesome, well, I just wanna say this party absolutely rules. We don't get invited to a ton of parties. I just wanna say, you can count on our vote for Kristen Applebees.

0:22:02 Riz: Oh, great! Great, good, yeah!

0:22:03 Molman: We're gonna organize with the other... There's over a dozen of us, so we're ready to hit the bricks.

0:22:08 Riz: Well, now there's gonna be 13 or 14, 'cause I'm joining the Soil Club.

0:22:12 Molman: Uh-oh, a gardener's dozen!

0:22:16 Riz: That is what we say in Soil Club.

0:22:18 Brennan: A couple other random— you see that there's a tiny, another goblin actually, comes over with a leather jacket, a pure white silk scarf, and aviator helmet and goggles.

0:22:29 Murph: I think Riz fully does not remember, 'cause he just signed up for everything. So Soil Club, he's like, first time I'm ever hearing about it.

0:22:36 Brennan: You see this little goblin who is basically like a weird other flavor of you freshman year comes over and goes,

0:22:42 Sprak: Sprak LeFevre! I'm the president of the Aguefort Aviation League.

0:22:49 Riz: Yeah!

0:22:50 Sprak: Pleasure to have you on board, old boy!

0:22:54 Riz: Psyched to... fly?

0:22:54 Sprak: Yes!

0:22:56 Riz: Yeah, that's what aviation is.

0:22:57 Sprak: I have a number of biplanes, ornithopters, and hot air balloons! Take to the great blue yonder!

0:23:01 Riz: All right.

0:23:03 Emily: That'll be great for doing little signs. "Vote for Kristen" in the sky!

0:23:08 Ally: Oh yeah, a giant banner?

0:23:08 Emily: Yeah!

0:23:11 Brennan: Hot air balloons blotting the sky. "Vote for Kristen Applebees." You see he says,

0:23:16 Sprak: You can count on the entire Aviation League. We'll be right behind you, gunning down there in the channel. We'll be manning the trenches for President Applebees, and I say, there's not a shot in hell that she doesn't make it all the way to the top!

0:23:30 Riz: Thanks. How many people are in the aviation club?

0:23:32 Sprak: Five!

0:23:32 Riz: Five? Okay, yeah. We got like 18 votes here. This is great. That's great, I'll see you at the meeting on Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday?

0:23:43 Sprak: We meet at 7 AM, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and at 12 midnight Tuesday, Thursday.

0:23:52 Riz: Of course, 'cause then you wanna go home and nap for an hour or two and then go right back to the aviation meeting because we love flying so much. Of course.

0:24:00 Sprak: Precisely, and of course the Monday morning meeting, we're all quite well-rested. But it's those Wednesdays and Fridays that you have to rub the sand from your eyes, old boy.

0:24:09 Riz: Yes.

0:24:09 Sprak: Ha ha!

0:24:10 Siobhan: Nothing better than flying on no sleep.

0:24:13 Sprak: Well, from one 16 year old to another, you have a good time, old sport!

0:24:20 Fabian: Adaine, you need a job, right?

0:24:21 Adaine: I really need a job.

0:24:22 Fabian: Great, you can work the door at the next party, all right?

0:24:26 Adaine: Okay, sure.

0:24:26 Riz: We need these votes! Aviation votes count!

0:24:28 Fabian: Do you need these votes?

0:24:32 Riz: Five! I secured like 17 votes!

0:24:34 Fig: They're gonna fly banners, okay?

0:24:35 Riz: I got the soil votes, I got the aviation votes!

0:24:37 Fig: Everyone on the beach is gonna see, "Vote for Kristen Applebees!"

0:24:40 Fabian: Fine, I guess we need the aviation vote.

0:24:45 Siobhan: Are there any other wizard kids at this party?

0:24:47 Brennan: You look over and I think you both see, at the table, the blue dragonborn and the sylvan elf. You see that the blue dragonborn has a couple Conjuration glyphs tattooed into his scales. You see she says,

0:25:06 Elf: [British accent][rubbing her ear] Are you gonna make us wait all night for you to take this shot?

0:25:08 Brennan: And you see he says,

0:25:08 Dragonborn: [focused, holding a ping-pong ball and lining up a shot] It's all a system. This is just geometry and applied… [throws the ball] physics.

0:25:16 Brennan: And you see that this ping-pong ball lands, bloop, right into the front cup. A big cheer goes up and the person drinks. But you see that he has a spellbook holstered at his belt.

0:25:26 Adaine: Wow, nice shot. You want bad baby milk? We're all drinking it. Oisín: I'm a reptile, so this'll be my first encounter with milk. Thank you.

0:25:33 Emily: He's gonna be so lactose intolerant if he hasn't been drinking it. Oisín: That's awful. That's really nasty.

0:25:40 Adaine: It's bad, but it's strong, and cold. It was cold. How is it? Is it cold? Oisín: No, I would say at this point it's kind of room temperature. Has it been in your hand for a while?

0:25:48 Adaine: I can cold it up for you, if you like.

0:25:51 Siobhan: Can I just cast Ray of Frost on the glass?

0:25:53 Brennan: Give me an Arcana to not totally freeze the drinks. [die rolling]

0:25:57 Siobhan: Oh, okay. That's a 23.

0:25:59 Brennan: You glance off the surface, just perfectly chilling it. He goes, Oisín: Somehow much more palatable.

0:26:07 Adaine: Yeah, when it's so cold you can't taste it, it's actually pretty good. Oisín: And it's just about getting it down the hatch.

0:26:12 Adaine: Yeah, it's like you basically want it to be a slushie. Oisín: [sips again] Ooh, it is. Yeah, it's like a frozen—

0:26:17 Adaine: There's little icy crystals in it.

0:26:19 Brennan: You see he goes, Oisín: Oisín. [shakes Adaine’s hand]

0:26:19 Adaine: Adaine. Oisín: Adaine, it's nice to meet you.

0:26:23 Adaine: Nice to meet you. Are you a wizard? Oisín: I am. I'm a conjurer.

0:26:27 Adaine: That's amazing. Are you in our year? I have never taken a class with you. Are you a senior or something?

0:26:32 Brennan: Give me a History check with disadvantage.

0:26:35 Siobhan: Oh no.

0:26:35 Lou: Oh! [dice rolling]

0:26:38 Siobhan: Goddammit, I rolled a 20, but that's a 10.

0:26:43 Brennan: You see he says, Oisín: We had one History of Glyphs class on Thursday mornings in freshman year, but I don't know—

0:26:49 Adaine: Oh. Oisín: I had a growth—

0:26:53 Brennan: You see that the elf looks over. You see she says,

0:26:55 Ivy: Oisín, you gonna introduce me? He got buff this summer. That's why no one recognizes him.

0:27:01 Adaine: Oh yeah, that happened to my friend Kristen as well. She got really buff this summer, and nobody's recognizing her.

0:27:06 Ivy: Ivy. [extends a hand]

0:27:08 Adaine: [shakes her hand] Adaine. It's so nice to meet you.

0:27:10 Ivy: Lovely to meet you as well. Killer party. You're one of the Bad Kids, yeah?

0:27:15 Adaine: Yeah, yeah, that's definitely the name. If you hear us going by any other names, that's not it.

0:27:23 Murph: You hear me loudly talking to the soil kids about being the PhotosyntheKIDs.

0:27:28 Brennan: You see Skrank goes,

0:27:29 Skrank: [squawks] "Are we playing or not? What the fuck is going on?

0:27:32 Adaine: Skrank, hey! How's it going?

0:27:34 Skrank: Oh. [squawks] It's pretty good.

0:27:37 Adaine: Good.

0:27:40 Skrank: You can tell Riz he's got the AV Club locked in.

0:27:44 Adaine: Hell yeah, and there's like six of us, right?

0:27:47 Skrank: Yeah, it's the four of us, the two freshmen who joined this year.

0:27:50 Adaine: Oh, okay, great.

0:27:51 Skrank: Yeah.

0:27:51 Adaine: So that's six.

0:27:52 Skrank: That's six. Rackin' 'em up!

0:27:54 Adaine: We're rackin' 'em up.

0:27:54 Brennan: Shellford goes,

0:27:57 Shellford: Are we, uh... gonna be here all—

0:28:03 Adaine: Isn't it your throw?

0:28:04 Brennan: You see he goes,

0:28:04 Shellford: Oh shit.

0:28:04 Brennan: And starts to cock back.

0:28:09 Adaine: We have like 25 minutes.

0:28:09 Brennan: Yeah, you see Oisín goes, Oisín: Yeah, it's very, very exciting.

0:28:16 Adaine: Yeah, sorry, Thursday mornings were rough for me 'cause we were doing full— Oisín: 'Cause you were basically nonexistent that year.

0:28:21 Adaine: Yeah, no, we were doing other stuff. Can I ask you a question? Oisín: Sure.

0:28:30 Adaine: Did you also have to get Was that a thing that— Oisín: Yeah, yeah.

0:28:36 Adaine: And you could just... That was just something you could do? Oisín: Not something I could do, but my great-great-great-great-great grandmother is still alive.

0:28:46 Adaine: Oh, wow. Oisín: And she lives on a mountain of treasure, so...

0:28:51 Adaine: Oh, that's so cool. Oisín: Yeah, she sorta has those barrels tucked away.

0:28:56 Adaine: Right, yeah, yeah, that's... You like her? She's a fun— Oisín: I don't know her too well. I mean, that many generations, she sort of has thousands of descendants, you know?

0:29:05 Adaine: Sure, okay, so you can just write to her and say, hey Grandma, what's up? Oisín: Yeah. Yeah, essentially.

0:29:12 Adaine: Damn, that's— Oisín: Yeah.

0:29:15 Adaine: Good for you, good for you. That's great. Oisín: Are you having a hard time with—

0:29:19 Adaine: No, no no no, I was just wondering if that was normal or if it was just our class that had to do that. But if it's normal, then that's great. And the eggs? You got all the eggs? Oisín: Yeah, I mentioned all that stuff. But your family is from Fallinel, right?

0:29:37 Adaine: Yeah, no, yeah, no, I've got old family. I've got a lot of old family, so...

0:29:44 Brennan: Ivy looks over and says,

0:29:46 Ivy: Family from Fallinel. Lots of scratch.

0:29:49 Adaine: Yep, that's us. We're really rich. Oisín: Hey, it's nice—

0:29:55 Siobhan: I would much rather these people not know any of the details of how I killed my dad and how my mum is being chased by a van with hands.

0:30:04 Brennan: Give me a Deception check.

0:30:04 Lou: Damn. [die rolling]

0:30:10 Lou: Damn, hot dragonborn 'bout to know your shit. 'Bout to see right through you.

0:30:16 Siobhan: That's a six.

0:30:16 Adaine: So you got tattoos and stuff? That's so cool. Your parents are just cool with you having tattoos? 'Cause they're really cool. Oisín: Yeah, yeah.

0:30:22 Adaine: You just get them. Oisín: Oh yeah, no, they're kind of an aid for conjuration, spellcasting.

0:30:27 Adaine: Sure, sure, sure. Oh, you're a conjuration wizard? Oisín: Yeah, I'm a summoner.

0:30:32 Adaine: That makes sense. Oisín: Summoner specialist.

0:30:34 Adaine: Sure, sure. Oisín: These actually make it so that I can't lose focus on a conjuration spell from distraction, injury.

0:30:44 Adaine: That's rad. Oisín: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:30:47 Adaine: Damn.

0:30:47 Brennan: You see he leans in and he goes, Oisín: You know, my great-great... We just call her my ancestor.

0:30:52 Adaine: Sure, sure, sure. Oisín: She actually a little bit over-delivered, so if you wanna borrow some at the next class—

0:31:00 Adaine: Oh, no no no, I'm good. Fallinel, you know? Oisín: Hey, yeah, I hear you.

0:31:04 Adaine: Yeah. Oisín: Fallinel. Well, listen—

0:31:06 Adaine: But thank you. I bet there's somebody else who would probably really, really appreciate it. Oisín: For sure.

0:31:14 Adaine: You're great.

0:31:14 Siobhan: I run away.

0:31:19 Brennan: You see he says, Oisín: If you ever wanna study…

0:31:20 Brennan: You see Ivy sort of makes fun of him a little bit. From that point on, anyone in the yard sees Oisín cannot make a shot. Every ping-pong ball hits off the rim of a solo cup. Just ping-pong balls. One of them goes into an upper story window of Seacaster— Ping, bang! Oisín: Ah, shit!

0:31:40 Adaine: Damn, Fig, are you infectious?

0:31:43 Fig: What?

0:31:45 Ivy: Your game's off! Oisín, [clapping] focus!

0:31:48 Brennan: By the way, I think unabashedly, Ivy looks over at Fabian and goes,

0:31:52 Ivy: Your ping-pong table's fucked up. Legs are different lengths, yeah?

0:31:55 Fabian: Fuck you.

0:31:57 Ivy: Is that a threat?

0:32:00 Lou: I run away.

0:32:00 Fabian: Adaine, Adaine!

0:32:04 Siobhan: I'm just in the fridge with the bad baby milk.

0:32:06 Fabian: Who are those hot people out by the ping-pong table?

0:32:08 Adaine: I don't know! They’re so hot, they’re so—

0:32:08 Fabian: I said fuck you to one, and they were like, is that a threat?

0:32:12 Adaine: This guy offered me diamonds and I ran away!

0:32:15 Fabian: You what?

0:32:15 Adaine: I know!

0:32:16 Fabian: Doesn't he know how rich you are?

0:32:19 Adaine: Yeah, I told him! I told him how rich I am!

0:32:22 Fabian: Okay. Oh shit.

0:32:22 Adaine: Here. [hands Fabian milk]

0:32:24 Fabian: More milk. [guzzling desperately]

0:32:27 Brennan: We cut back to Gorgug. We cut back to Gorgug. You get to the front of the line. Ragh is going,

0:32:33 Ragh: [panting] Give me the fucking chips.

0:32:38 Brennan: You see a bag of chips, tortilla. His mouth is so dry.

0:32:44 Ragh: I need to carbo-load. 10th one, undefeated crab king. Everyone can suck a nut. Fuck off.

0:32:51 Gorgug: Ragh, you wanna take a break?

0:32:54 Ragh: I'll take a break when I break your fucking spine. Hoot growl, bitch! Get on the fucking crab mountain!

0:33:01 Gorgug: Hoot, growl.

0:33:04 Zac: Gorgug climbs up.

0:33:07 Gorgug: I just wanted to talk about something. We just had a wild night.

0:33:12 Ragh: Talk to the fuckin' fist, 'cause the ass doesn't wanna fuckin' blast, dude.

0:33:18 Gorgug: The ass doesn't wanna blast?

0:33:20 Ragh: I'm so tired. Listen, square up, motherfucker!

0:33:25 Gorgug: Okay.

0:33:27 Brennan: He's gonna make Athletics. He's out of rages, so he can't do this with advantage.

0:33:30 Zac: I don't feel like raging.

0:33:31 Brennan: Great, I'll roll in front of the board. He adds a plus 10 to Athletics. [die rolling]

0:33:39 Zac: Shit. Okay.

0:33:41 Brennan: Cool.

0:33:42 Zac: I got an eight to my Athletics, so I can't beat him unless I roll a nat 20.

0:33:48 Brennan: Here we go. Here we go. [die rolling] [players groaning] He pushes you to the edge. You're one step away from going off.

0:33:57 Zac: I go into a rage.

0:33:58 Brennan: Okay, he's like,

0:33:58 Ragh: Oh, what are you? A little mollusk? A little barnacle?

0:34:03 Gorgug: What the fuck are you talking about?

0:34:04 Ragh: Does your tongue stretch out length, you little bitch?

0:34:07 Gorgug: What do you mean? I'm not a mollusk!

0:34:08 Ragh: You're a little bitch. They have to scrape you off of ships, you little bitch.

0:34:11 Gorgug: You're not the fucking crab king. I'm the crab king, bitch.

0:34:14 Ragh: I'm the fucking crab king!

0:34:14 Brennan: He's gonna roll again. That is a 24. You roll with advantage. [dice rolling]

0:34:22 Zac: 17 plus 8.

0:34:22 Brennan: 25! Okay, you push him back to the center. He's gassed.

0:34:30 Ragh: Oh, you think that's what's up? Yeah, man. Fuck you!

0:34:35 Gorgug: If you're the crab king, I'm the fisherman.

0:34:36 Ragh: Well, fisherman, guess what? These waters are restricted! You have to throw me back or you'll be fined!

0:34:42 Gorgug: I'll throw you back. I'll throw you back right now. I'm not afraid to provide for my family. [die rolling]

0:34:48 Brennan: 21. [dice rolling]

0:34:51 Zac: 8 plus 14.

0:34:53 Brennan: 22! You've got him right on the edge.

0:34:55 Emily: Yeah!

0:34:55 Siobhan: So tight.

0:34:57 Brennan: He goes,

0:34:59 Ragh: [grunting] What's up, motherfucker? Okay, listen, listen. If you push me too hard, I'm gonna shit.

0:35:05 Gorgug: What are you talking about?

0:35:06 Ragh: I think I developed something after freshman year when you guys made up that lie about shitting my pants, but after that, I started to really shit my pants.

0:35:11 Gorgug: We made you shit your pants?

0:35:13 Ragh: No dude, just, if you're gonna push me off, just don't do it too hard, okay?

0:35:16 Gorgug: Do you wanna push me off?

0:35:16 Ragh: What's that?

0:35:18 Gorgug: Do you wanna push me off?

0:35:19 Ragh: There could be talent scouts here, dude.

0:35:21 Gorgug: How much bad milk did you have?

0:35:24 Ragh: Oh, I thought that was just milk! I was doing it to carbo-load.

0:35:27 Gorgug: It's milk.

0:35:27 Ragh: What?

0:35:28 Gorgug: Carbo-load on milk!

0:35:31 Ragh: I was doing it to carbo-load, dude.

0:35:32 Gorgug: Well, it's bad 'cause it's got vodka in it, but milk is milk.

0:35:34 Ragh: I think I ate some glass. That was vodka?

0:35:36 Gorgug: Here, just throw me off and have a conversation with me.

0:35:39 Brennan: All right, one more check. He gets a 24.

0:35:43 Zac: I choose to fail.

0:35:44 Brennan: You choose to fail. He hurls you off.

0:35:46 Gorgug: Whoa! I've been bested!

0:35:47 Ragh: Okay! Crab king is victorious. Gonna go lie down.

0:35:55 Brennan: You see he goes over somewhere to lie down, just over on a sofa. There's these huge leather sofas with golden skull and crossbones as the studs everywhere.

0:36:08 Ragh: What's up, motherfucker?

0:36:08 Gorgug: Hey, not much. I wanted to check in with you about... Well, we just... It's been a while since we talked about this, but we just kinda had a situation happen with Kristen's god and there was all this red glowing stuff came out of it, and it made me remember what was going on with your mom last year. And then also, I feel like if Riz was here he could explain this better, but there was some— I think Kalina was there.

0:36:46 Ragh: Kalina's back?

0:36:47 Gorgug: Yeah, I probably should've led with that. I'm sorry. She said Ragh.

0:36:54 Ragh: She said my name? Like she's gonna come after me or kill my mom?

0:36:58 Gorgug: No, I don't think she's coming. I think she was like—

0:37:01 Ragh: I need to rally. I need to rally. You see he gets up, wanders out onto the lawn, puts two fingers... [puking] Gotta rally, gotta get sober. My mom's in danger! Get it together, Barkrock! Why did you waste all your rages being crab king?

0:37:15 Gorgug: You never know when you're gonna need 'em.

0:37:16 Ragh: You never know when you're gonna need 'em! That was stupid!

0:37:18 Zac: I'm just gonna yell for Riz.

0:37:21 Brennan: Riz, you're still out on the lawn. You come over.

0:37:22 Murph: Great, yeah, I'll go over.

0:37:26 Gorgug: Hey, I kinda told him your story about what happened. I don't know how to—

0:37:32 Riz: So there was a god that was going through some kind of— was having— anger was escaping through these red gems that were possessing people and filling them with rage. And then Kalina— who is back but we don't know what's going on because now that the Nightmare King is gone, Cassandra manifested Kalina again, I guess, and Kalina seemed shady but also seemed to legitimately be helping Cassandra, so it's possible that she takes on the traits of whoever she's the familiar of. So she might be a good guy? I don't know what's going on. But she did say your name specifically, not in a threatening way, but in a "he will save us" way, while she was getting taken over by one of the red gems that was very similar to what happened with your mom. So I think you are the true crab king.

0:38:31 Zac: I bow. [Murph laughs]

0:38:33 Ally: End on sugar. End on sweet.

0:38:35 Murph: I also bow. Confused, looking at Gorgug.

0:38:40 Gorgug: We've just got to build him up a little bit.

0:38:43 Ragh: So you're telling me that in the same year that I gotta get ready for tryouts for the Bastion City Buccaneers, that I've been chosen to save Cassandra?

0:38:56 Gorgug: Maybe?

0:38:56 Riz: Maybe?

0:38:58 Gorgug: Does that mean something to you?

0:39:00 Ragh: It means a lot.

0:39:03 Gorgug: Do you recognize... Do you remember something that that...

0:39:10 Riz: Do you know Cassandra outside of us—

0:39:13 Ragh: I was there, dude, yeah. I was with you, yeah. We fuckin' threw down. I'm gonna find Cassandara.

0:39:19 Riz: Okay.

0:39:20 Ragh: Listen, I'm a straight-up barbarian, but if you need cleric numero dos and I'm the chosen one—

0:39:26 Riz: No, it's not exactly—

0:39:26 Ragh: Let's talk.

0:39:28 Riz: I think it's something to do with those red rage spheres that maybe you could help with, or maybe we can talk to your mom and also you, and maybe we can all figure it out together.

0:39:41 Brennan: Yeah. You see he really struggles. You see that— he loves you guys a lot and wants to say something that solves the mystery for you, but I think you watch him not get it.

0:39:57 Murph: Got it.

0:39:57 Brennan: And he goes,

0:39:58 Ragh: Yeah, the rage stars. So, like, I've never seen a rage star per se.

0:40:05 Riz: Right.

0:40:06 Ragh: But red glowing crystal shit, that's the fuckin' fiend that she's capturing in that gem, and she uses her rage to, like, contain it.

0:40:15 Riz: Yeah, so I think something like that might need to be done again.

0:40:19 Ragh: Do you guys want... I could text my mom right now if we wanna talk to her. I don't know if you wanna do it— skip the party and go.

0:40:26 Riz: Maybe tomorrow?

0:40:26 Ragh: Yeah.

0:40:30 Gorgug: Could we come over tomorrow?

0:40:30 Ragh: Tomorrow's fuckin' Saturday. Dude, she'll make a fuckin' sick spread.

0:40:35 Gorgug: Okay.

0:40:36 Riz: All right, let's go have a sick spread. Great.

0:40:38 Ragh: Dude, I'll text her right now.

0:40:39 Brennan: You see he gets out his crystal and texts Mom,

0:40:41 Ragh: Mom, sick spread. Crystal demon questions. Riz, Gorgug. You down?

0:40:44 Brennan: And then texts it. And you see that it's just a fucking enormous wall of the surrounded by hearts smiling emoji. Murph and Zac smile.

0:40:55 Brennan: He's like,

0:40:55 Ragh: My mom is the fuckin' best! We're gonna get to the bottom of this, okay? Fuckin', you know.

0:41:00 Riz: Let's do it.

0:41:03 Ragh: Fuckin' Bad Kids auxiliary corps [salutes] to the fuckin' report.

0:41:07 Gorgug: You mean the crab king?

0:41:07 Riz: Crab king.

0:41:11 Ragh: Crab king, when the lobster prince [gesturing to Gorgug] and the shrimp majordomo [gesturing to Riz] need help, then that's what's up.

0:41:20 Riz: That's awesome. Thank you, Ragh.

0:41:20 Zac: I put my hand in.

0:41:23 Ragh: Crustacean nation!

0:41:28 Brennan: We cut to Kristen and Fig up in Fabian's room. What's the state of Fabian's room at the end of this first week where there's nobody at your home?

0:41:37 Lou: There's just so many clothes. Clearly Fabian walks in, takes off whatever he's wearing, throws it just on the ground, or puts it on the bed, and then it eventually gets moved onto the ground. So that kind of has just been a five day cycle of clothes come off, bed, floor, bed, floor.

0:41:53 Brennan: So a bunch of clothing from a week of intense dance lessons. The funk that hits you as you walk—

0:41:56 Fig: Ugh.

0:42:00 Emily: I'm gonna steal some in case I ever need to Disguise Self as Fabian.

0:42:06 Kristen: What are you doing?

0:42:08 Fig: I'm stealing some of Fabian's clothing.

0:42:10 Kristen: Okay. Those are all filthy.

0:42:13 Fig: I know, but that will sell it, 'cause I'll have the authentic funk.

0:42:16 Kristen: Oh, totally. Totally, totally.

0:42:18 Fig: Yeah.

0:42:18 Lou: I do have a unique funk.

0:42:20 Brennan: You guys go and find a yearbook. Freshman year photos of all the different adventuring parties. Fig, you find a picture. It has a little photo, freshman year adventurers. Braces. You see that there is a tiny little pigtailed Kipperlilly Copperkettle, and you see that the label on the adventuring party doesn't say the Rat Grinders.

0:42:45 Emily: What does it say?

0:42:46 Brennan: It says, "The High 5 Heroes."

0:42:49 Lou: [laughs] Lame!

0:42:53 Brennan: The High 5 Heroes. You see Ruben. He doesn't have any emo to him at all. You see he's got a little acoustic guitar. He's holding it and smiling, big braces. Mary Ann Skuttle is there, who is somehow even smaller, wearing the exact same fuchsia sweater, purple pants, with a little plushy ladybug. Her fashion has not changed at all. You see Buddy Dawn is obviously not there. You see that there is a very tall, rare type of genasi who has a very strong—she almost looks like an earth genasi or some kind of, almost giant-ish. But you see that she is actually a frost genasi, a rare para-elemental genasi. Her name is Lucy Frostblade. She is a cleric. And there are two other people in this party. A very scrawny blue dragonborn named Oisín Hakinvar, and Ivy Embra rounding out the six-person adventuring party.

0:44:05 Ally: Wow.

0:44:05 Lou: Hmm.

0:44:07 Emily: I'm just gonna rip the page out.

0:44:11 Kristen: Wait, Fig, we're in Fabian's room. We're not in the library. You can't just do that here.

0:44:15 Siobhan: Take a picture of it on your phone!

0:44:17 Fig: Shit, it's too late.

0:44:17 Emily: I rip out another page.

0:44:21 Lou: What?

0:44:21 Zac: It's not the library! You can't rip pages out!

0:44:24 Fig: I just like this teacher.

0:44:26 Kristen: Before we go back out there, I was kinda thinking about giving myself a makeover for this party of just the everywoman, you know? So I think I'm gonna do a low ponytail, cowboy hat, Wrangler jeans, button-up white dress shirt with a tie that's untucked.

0:44:44 Fig: What about some neck tattoos?

0:44:46 Kristen: I love that.

0:44:46 Fig: Like a soccer goalie?

0:44:47 Kristen: I love that.

0:44:48 Fig: Premier League goalie tattoos.

0:44:51 Kristen: Let's do a lion with a crown on right here, [gesturing to the right side of their neck] and then let's do the Serenity Prayer down this side. [gesturing to the left side of their neck]

0:44:59 Emily: Okay, I'm drawing this in.

0:44:59 Ally: All right, great.

0:45:03 Lou: And then are you gonna also look the same?

0:45:05 Siobhan: Did you have that in your to-do list?

0:45:07 Ally: No, the Wranglers were there. [Siobhan laughs]

0:45:12 Kristen: Okay, great. Oh my gosh, we look amazing.

0:45:15 Emily: Yeah, I morph to also be this. "Kristen" (Fig): So which side of the party are you gonna take first?

0:45:21 Kristen: Great call, yeah. We should split up our turf. "Kristen" (Fig): Also, do we have any talking points that we really wanna hit?

0:45:27 Kristen: Oh, definitely. Oh, definitely. Okay. "Kristen" (Fig): Are we gonna distance ourself from the steelworkers union?

0:45:34 Kristen: No, no, we're going hard steelworkers union. "Kristen" (Fig): Okay, okay.

0:45:38 Brennan: Nothing high schoolers love more.

0:45:41 Kristen: That's kind of actually the only talking point I have.

0:45:44 Ally: And I quickly write down everything I know about the steelworkers union on a card and give it to you so that you can talk about that a lot.

0:45:51 Emily: I put it in place of the page I ripped out of the yearbook.

0:45:55 Ally: And all it says is, "There's a face behind every piece of steel that you use in your day to day life." "Kristen" (Fig): Okay, but do we have any promises that we wanna make—

0:46:05 Kristen: To the steel— "Kristen" (Fig): ...to the school, though?

0:46:07 Kristen: Oh, yeah.

0:46:07 Murph: To the steelworkers? "Kristen" (Fig): I mean, I agree with you that the steelworkers union are important in our campaign.

0:46:11 Kristen: Yeah. "Kristen" (Fig): Because I'm you, so of course I agree with you. I'm having some character bleed as you. So we agree, we agree on that. But should we start brainstorming some stuff? Big promises we wanna make?

0:46:24 Kristen: That's such a good call. "Kristen" (Fig): Like the classic chocolate milk in the water fountain.

0:46:29 Kristen: Oh yeah, okay, yeah, we gotta beat that. "Kristen" (Fig): Maybe we could make a promise that, one day a year, the students get to be a teacher?

0:46:41 Kristen: Yes! One day a year, the students get to go completely take over the steelworkers factory. "Kristen" (Fig): Okay, that's so dangerous.

0:46:50 Kristen: Okay, all right, yeah, you're right. "Kristen" (Fig): So dangerous.

0:46:52 Kristen: They get to be the teacher. One day a year, all the teachers have to be a student. "Kristen" (Fig): Or we could just do something like better parking.

0:47:01 Kristen: Oh yeah. "Kristen" (Fig): We could get infrared sauna for the gym.

0:47:05 Kristen: We could have Fetty Wap. "Kristen" (Fig): Fetty Wap! Okay, Fetty Wap at homecoming.

0:47:10 Kristen: Fetty Wap at homecoming. "Kristen" (Fig): Okay, say it with me. Kristen/"Kristen" (Fig): Fetty Wap at homecoming. "Kristen" (Fig): Okay, break.

0:47:17 Ally: And I kinda strut out. We both have spurs on our boots. It's kinda hard to walk. We walk out, and we—

0:47:27 Murph: [laughing] Walking out from the same place.

0:47:31 Kristen: Hopefully no one saw that.

0:47:34 Brennan: Both of you walk out. Tell me what you do as you address the party. People cheer loudly. Hey!

0:47:42 Emily: I go to the iPod and change it to a Fetty Wap song.

0:47:45 Ally: Great, perfect.

0:47:46 Brennan: Let's license that. Great.

0:47:48 Ally: We just licensed that.

0:47:48 Lou: Glock in my 'rari.

0:47:50 Ally: Big fan, big fan. Okay, great, yeah, I guess I would just love to start shaking as many hands as possible. Just really spreading the message.

0:48:05 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion check.

0:48:07 Emily: With advantage, because I'm also—

0:48:09 Brennan: Doing it?

0:48:09 Emily: Yeah.

0:48:10 Brennan: 100 percent, great.

0:48:11 Ally: Help action from the other me. [dice rattling] Persuasion, I get plus seven. [dice rolling] Okay, 22.

0:48:18 Brennan: Hell yeah. You are very persuasive. I think the party atmosphere, it's very distracting and moving. You don't have to think about the shards of your shattered goddess in your pocket. You're just here talking about... You come over to Max Durden, who's the drow "Police state!" kid who just joined the Owlbears. He's like,

0:48:35 Max: Kristen, fuckin' awesome party! This is so sick! And you're super into student government?

0:48:42 Kristen: Yeah, did you see that jump earlier?

0:48:44 Max: That was sick!

0:48:45 Kristen: That's the kind of president I'll be.

0:48:47 Max: You're gonna do jumps like that at school?

0:48:49 Kristen: I'm gonna be kickflipping the system.

0:48:52 Max: Okay, what kinda stuff do you wanna do as class president?

0:48:55 Kristen: You know Fetty Wap? [Lou laughs] Murph covers his face.

0:49:00 Max: Interesting question for me here. Hold on. Brennan briefly considers the pros and cons of inducting Fetty Wap into Fantasy High lore.

0:49:03 Max: No!

0:49:03 Kristen: Okay, all right, well, some people do, and he might be coming to homecoming. He might be coming to Aguefort's homecoming if you vote for me in about a year and a half. It won't be this year, but it might be next year.

0:49:19 Max: Gotcha. Okay.

0:49:19 Kristen: That's a problem for next year, honestly.

0:49:22 Max: Hell yeah, awesome. Are you the real you or is the other one way over there—

0:49:27 Emily: I duck.

0:49:30 Brennan: He goes,

0:49:30 Max: Ah. Well, sick. Tight.

0:49:32 Kristen: Yeah.

0:49:33 Brennan: You see he goes,

0:49:33 Max: I have some gorgenfern if you wanna smoke up in the basement.

0:49:36 Kristen: Oh my gosh, that sounds so sick.

0:49:40 Lou: Smoking in the basement?

0:49:42 Kristen: I'm the kind of candidate you'd love to smoke some...

0:49:47 Max: Gorgenfern.

0:49:48 Kristen: Gorgenfern with. Is that right?

0:49:50 Max: Hell yeah, hell yeah. Let's do it.

0:49:51 Ally: Great, I Message you and tell you that that's what I'm up to.

0:49:55 Emily: Okay, I think I have Message too. I'm gonna Message you back and say,

0:50:00 Fig: I kinda wanna see if I get a reaction. I think I'm gonna test something out, so I'm gonna not be you for a little bit.

0:50:07 Kristen: Okay, okay.

0:50:08 Fig: It's gonna be weird to not be you. I feel home here.

0:50:13 Kristen: Maybe we can work with this, honestly.

0:50:17 Emily: I kinda wanna stay on the outskirts. I essentially wanna disguise myself as Lucy Frostblade, [players gasp] but be in the distance to Oisín and Ivy.

0:50:30 Brennan: Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

0:50:32 Emily: Almost as if you feel haunted by someone, and you think they—

0:50:36 Ally: Do you want my help? I don't have to go smoke with this loser in the basement. I could go look at their expressions.

0:50:42 Emily: I mean, I think I'll be able to clock it.

0:50:44 Ally: Okay.

0:50:45 Emily: I just wanna kinda be in the distance and see what kind of emotional reaction, but far enough that they're like, "Wait, is that, is that not?"

0:50:52 Brennan: They're wrapping up a dominating couple of rounds at the beer pong table. It's gotten to that moment where it's probably good to clear the table even if you've been on a winning streak just to free up some space. Go ahead and give me a Stealth check just to be only spotted by them.

0:51:09 Emily: Okay. [die rolling]

0:51:13 Brennan: Okay. Oisín does not notice you. You see he stays, ping-pong balls flying off in all kinds of different directions. You see one, pling, bounces off into the kitchen. You hear someone go,

0:51:24 Someone: Hey! My solo cup!

0:51:27 Brennan: Ivy clocks you right away, meets your gaze.

0:51:31 Emily: What do I read in the reaction?

0:51:33 Brennan: Give me an Insight check.

0:51:33 Ally: Come on. [die rolling]

0:51:38 Emily: 15.

0:51:39 Brennan: She looks up at you.

0:51:45 Emily: I think I wanna wave and then duck behind a topiary.

0:51:51 Brennan: As you're ducking, you see she goes... And she says,

0:51:56 Ivy: All right, that's it for me.

0:52:00 Brennan: And you see that she begins— she shoulders a bow over her shoulder and begins to walk into the hedge maze close to where you are.

0:52:06 Emily: Okay, I get the fuck out of there.

0:52:09 Brennan: Give me a—

0:52:12 Emily: I skateboard. I got my skateboard to Dash.

0:52:14 Brennan: Cool.

0:52:14 Emily: Turn back into Fig.

0:52:16 Brennan: Awesome. Go ahead and just do a favor for me, though. Give me a Stealth check as you do that. [die rolling]

0:52:25 Emily: Nine.

0:52:25 Brennan: Okay.

0:52:27 Emily: Can I use a Luck point?

0:52:29 Emily: Yeah, you can use a Luck point. [die rolling]

0:52:33 Brennan: 12.

0:52:33 Brennan: Okay. You take off. Riz, Gorgug, Ragh, you're joined by Fabian. Fabian, what are you doing here? Your party is fucking killer. You see that someone has spray painted "Maximum Legend" on the keel of the Hangman, of Seacaster Manor.

0:52:51 Lou: I think it's the 50-50 feeling of being like, this is so sick, but I just watched Ragh throw up all over the...

0:52:57 Fabian: I have to live here tomorrow. This is fucking awesome! Jesus Christ, get off the fucking sofa. Why is everyone climbing on everything? All right, it'll be fine. I'm fucking maximum legend. Oh god!

0:53:13 Adaine: Fabian, what if I conjure a bunch of ice mephits and then they can chill the drinks?

0:53:17 Fabian: Yeah, that'd be sick. Do that. Do that. That'd be fucking awesome.

0:53:21 Siobhan: Adaine is the drunkest she has ever been.

0:53:23 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion with advantage, Adaine. [dice rolling]

0:53:29 Siobhan: That is a dirty 20.

0:53:33 Brennan: Adaine, you're drunk as hell. You conjure a bunch of little ice mephits, these little [giggles] Snow Miser-looking,

0:53:41 Ice Mephits: Hey there, fellas! It's about to get frosty!

0:53:45 Brennan: And they go everywhere and start breathing on drinks, and Adaine, all of these high schoolers turn around, raising, and says,

0:53:52 High Schoolers: Adaine, party wizard!

0:53:56 Adaine: Keep it frosty, bitches!

0:54:00 Brennan: As you go towards the pool, you look at the shimmering water of Fabian's swimming pool.

0:54:06 Siobhan: You mean the shimmering tartar sauce of Fabian's pool?

0:54:08 Brennan: Oh yes, you look at the shimmering, scorched tartar sauce of Fabian's swimming pool, and you see Kristen in the reflection, high schoolers everywhere, giving an enormous, cheering speech. A lot of people have birthday hats on. You see that there's a big thing that says election night, but there's also birthday stuff around it. You see the sky behind them is clear with shimmering stars and a crescent moon, and Kristen is delivering a victory speech.

0:54:40 Siobhan: This is the moment where I realize how drunk I am and the world sort of zooms in on the pool and then zooms back out again, and I suddenly feel very sick.

0:54:52 Brennan: You feel [sputters] that sorta sick feeling.

0:54:54 Adaine: I gotta remember this, I gotta remember this. [to Kristen] You're gonna give a speech at a birthday! It's gonna be really good!

0:54:57 Siobhan: And then I vomit on her shoes.

0:55:02 Brennan: For all of you who are in a little crowd together, you see Max Durden comes up and is like,

0:55:07 Max: What's up, fellow Owlbears? We're gonna go fuckin' smoke on some gorgenfern down in the basement, so.

0:55:14 Fabian: Oh, hell yeah, dude.

0:55:15 Riz: [looking at Fabian][meaningfully] Awesome, we'll catch up with you.

0:55:17 Fabian: Are we not? I mean, we're not gonna toke up?

0:55:21 Fig: Actually, we should probably have a little meeting.

0:55:24 Kristen: Oh, okay. Well then, I'll have to catch you later.

0:55:27 Fabian: Save a little bit for us, though.

0:55:28 Riz: Save some.

0:55:29 Max: I'll save a little bit for you.

0:55:30 Fabian: Hey, and if you could open the window down there, that'd be great. There's a little sliding window on the far side. If you guys could smoke over there, that'd be great.

0:55:35 Gorgug: Can I ask you a question?

0:55:35 Max: Yeah.

0:55:36 Gorgug: Did you get the gorgon weed yourself?

0:55:42 Max: Hm?

0:55:42 Gorgug: Where'd you get it?

0:55:43 Max: What are you, a fucking cop?

0:55:45 Gorgug: No, just, like, if I wanna buy some.

0:55:47 Kristen: Oh yeah, who's your guy?

0:55:47 Adaine: He's not a cop.

0:55:49 Kristen: Or girl, or them.

0:55:49 Adaine: He hates cops.

0:55:52 Kristen: Who's your person?

0:55:52 Riz: [whispering] What is everyone doing?

0:55:54 Adaine: Who's your guy?

0:55:55 Brennan: He gets a little nervous and he's like—

0:55:58 Gorgug: You don't have to tell me.

0:55:59 Brennan: He's like,

0:55:59 Max: If you need some, I'd be happy to give you... I just get a number and it gets dropped off.

0:56:04 Gorgug: Oh, okay. Yeah, no worries.

0:56:06 Adaine: Everybody got so grown up. It's awesome.

0:56:08 Brennan: You see that Max heads off. All of you are sort of isolated. All six of you are together.

0:56:13 Murph: I think I relay all the Ragh stuff.

0:56:16 Emily: I take out the crumpled page of Fabian's yearbook.

0:56:19 Fabian: Wait, why didn't you just bring the book down?

0:56:22 Fig: Oh, this was just easier.

0:56:22 Kristen: There was no time.

0:56:24 Fig: There was no time.

0:56:24 Kristen: We had to pull a library.

0:56:26 Fabian: There were a bunch of signatures... Okay, yeah, all right.

0:56:28 Gorgug: If you need, I can carry the book next time.

0:56:29 Fig: You can read these notes if you wanna see them one last time.

0:56:33 Kristen: That one's really heartfelt.

0:56:35 Riz: I wrote the whole thing.

0:56:35 Kristen: Yeah, damn.

0:56:37 Riz: You were one of my first friends ever, Fabian.

0:56:40 Fabian: This is actually mostly The Ball's. I actually don't mind. You can rip that page.

0:56:43 Riz: Excuse me! I can give you another copy.

0:56:46 Emily: I put it out and I'm like,

0:56:47 Fig: This was the original adventuring party, and I maybe fumbled some intel gathering on finding out if Ivy recognized Lucy Frostblade. I kinda did a little Disguise Self figure in the crowd maneuver.

0:57:03 Riz: What if Lucy was dead, or is dead?

0:57:05 Fig: Well, so that's what I kinda wanted to suss out. I thought she was dead and I gonna see—

0:57:10 Riz: Wouldn't that make them really sad?

0:57:11 Adaine: You did it by disguising yourself as their dead friend?

0:57:13 Fabian: Yeah, why didn't you just ask somebody? I'm sure somebody else—

0:57:14 Kristen: You gotta ask somebody, not impersonate the dead person!

0:57:17 Riz: Do not impersonate their dead friend!

0:57:19 Adaine: You could ask Kristen, who is in cleric classes.

0:57:21 Fig: I can impersonate the dead when I want to.

0:57:24 Ally: Can I do a History check on this person and what I remember of them from cleric classes?

0:57:28 Brennan: Give me a History check. How faded is Kristen right now?

0:57:30 Ally: Oh, I actually think I had like a couple drinks. I’m not like drunk, I got business on.

0:57:35 Brennan: Go ahead and roll History, yeah.

0:57:37 Ally: 18.

0:57:38 Brennan: 18. You remember a Lucy Frostblade in your first year, absolutely.

0:57:43 Ally: Do I know drama around her? If she moved or if she did die?

0:57:48 Brennan: On an 18, you would know that— listen, it's an adventurer school. They have in memoriam sections in the yearbook.

0:57:57 Kristen: Oh, we should've brought the whole yearbook.

0:57:59 Fig: Okay, we should've. Yeah, fuck, we should've brought—

0:58:00 Riz: We can just go back and get it. We don't have to—

0:58:03 Kristen: All right.

0:58:03 Ally: I sprint up and I rip out the in memoriam page and I sprint back.

0:58:07 Emily: Yeah, sprint back. Is Lucy's name on there? Because the most important thing is that in that interaction—

0:58:13 Siobhan: There's so many kids on this page.

0:58:15 Fig: I sussed out that Ivy went, "You and me," kind of like a, "Oh, are we doing this now?" I don't know if it was romantic. I don't know if it was like, "Hey, let's meet up and go do something." I don't know, but she doesn't think that Lucy's dead.

0:58:29 Riz: But she could also just be mad, thinking that someone's impersonating Lucy.

0:58:33 Fig: I think she fell for it at first, and I probably fumbled it after.

0:58:36 Gorgug: Can I ask a question?

0:58:36 Fig: Yeah.

0:58:38 Gorgug: Looking at this group, you're telling me Kipperlilly didn't come to this party?

0:58:43 Adaine: Fuck.

0:58:43 Fig: She's definitely here.

0:58:46 Adaine: I've got my invisibility sight on! I can see her, if I'm within 10 feet of her.

0:58:50 Fabian: I do seem to have ways of seduction with the one, Ivy, that maybe I could, you know—

0:58:55 Fig: Yeah, can we dispatch you?

0:58:59 Fabian: Work my magic.

0:58:59 Fig: Can we dispatch you for a romantic quest?

0:59:00 Ally: Can I check the in memoriam?

0:59:02 Brennan: You look at the in memoriam. You went up and grabbed your freshman yearbook, right?

0:59:06 Ally: Yeah, and I ripped out in memoriam pages from it.

0:59:09 Murph: Could we grab the sophomore one as well?

0:59:11 Emily: Can I run up and rip out—

0:59:11 Fabian: Stop ripping my books!

0:59:14 Murph: The in memoriam for the sophomore year as well, yeah.

0:59:16 Ally: Can I run up and find "Catcher in the Rye" and just rip out the first page? 'Cause I wanna start reading it.

0:59:20 Brennan: I'm gonna say, who goes up to Fabian's room? Kristen, Riz.

0:59:22 Fabian: Why is everyone…

0:59:25 Lou: I'm coming to my room.

0:59:25 Brennan: Everyone goes to Fabian's. You see, as you're all going to Fabian's room, you see Ragh comes over and says,

0:59:32 Ragh: Kristen, party's going awesome. When you get a sec, Tracker's, like, blowing up my phone.

0:59:43 Kristen: Oh, totally. I am compartmentalizing in a way that makes me think I might be doing this for the rest of my life.

0:59:50 Fig: Do you need me to disguise myself as you?

0:59:52 Kristen: Yeah, please, would you talk to Tracker? [waves her hands] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

0:59:57 Brennan: You see he says,

0:59:57 Ragh: She wanted to have a conversation, but if you don't wanna have a conversation, she just—

1:00:01 Kristen: No, I actually probably need to have a conversation with her, honestly.

1:00:06 Ally: I tell him all about Cassandra, all the stuff that went down and how awful it is.

1:00:12 Brennan: Ragh gives you the biggest hug for a long, long time.

1:00:15 Ally: I'm crying so hard and I'm going,

1:00:17 Kristen: And, like, just the campaign, man. It's also really hard.

1:00:19 Ragh: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, that's what it is. It's the campaign.

1:00:24 Kristen: Yeah, you know, I just gotta focus on one win, and it kinda seems like maybe this is the one win.

1:00:30 Ragh: Hey, hoot growl, baby. Owlbears always win.

1:00:34 Kristen: You smell so bad.

1:00:34 Ragh: Why?

1:00:37 Fig: That might be Fabian's clothing.

1:00:38 Ragh: I barfed and I was wrestling for like an hour, yeah.

1:00:40 Kristen: You barfed and you were wrestling.

1:00:42 Ragh: Yeah, good call, good call. I'm gonna shower. Fabe, where can I shower here?

1:00:45 Fabian: There's three bathrooms on the second floor, there's two on the fourth.

1:00:49 Kristen: If you wanna read something, why don't you take this?

1:00:52 Fabian: Stop, stop! That was signed by J. D. Salinger!

1:00:58 Brennan: For those that go up to Fabian's room, go ahead and give me an Investigation check.

1:01:02 Murph: Cool, I also wanna, now that we're talking about, that Kipperlilly may have been there, I also wanna see, not only do I wanna look for a sophomore yearbook... Did we already do that?

1:01:10 Ally: We're about to do that.

1:01:12 Murph: We're gonna get a sophomore yearbook. I also wanna see if it looks like anyone else has been in here looking for something.

1:01:17 Ally: Oh!

1:01:17 Fabian: You guys want some cover? Boys! [claps] Play Happy Birthday!

1:01:22 Pirates: ♪ Oh, it's a happy birthday ♪

1:01:25 Fabian: So we can work while they sing.

1:01:29 Emily: I just play bass under them.

1:01:31 Brennan: You see the pirates start to move their hips a little bit. They're like,

1:01:34 Pirates: All right!

1:01:35 Fabian: Oh, so now you can play something else?

1:01:36 Pirates: Well, it's a real musician, isn't it? Isn't it?

1:01:40 Fabian: All right, all right.

1:01:41 Pirates: We don't have to be nice, we just have to play the song.

1:01:43 Fabian: Okay!

1:01:46 Murph: I rolled a natural one, but now that I'm level 11, I have Reliable Talent, so if I'm proficient, a roll of 9 or lower is a 10, so 21 no matter what.

1:01:56 Brennan: The best Murph power of all time. You literally can't roll low. So what's the Investigation score?

1:02:02 Murph: 21.

1:02:03 Brennan: Cannot roll lower than 21 Investigation.

1:02:05 Ally: So sick.

1:02:05 Brennan: You move through. I think on a 21 Investigation, your investigation is good enough to know that it's possible that an extremely talented rogue could've been here and you wouldn't know. But what you do find is the sophomore yearbook.

1:02:24 Murph: Okay.

1:02:25 Brennan: There is no indication of Lucy Frostblade. However, on that 21 Investigation, you look a little bit deeper and find a slip fallen out in this small bookshelf area. You see that there was a loose paper slip mentioning Lucy Frostblade as added to the in memoriam that was added after the books went to print. So literally, it narrows it down to this very specific window of time because they added her to the in memoriam.

1:02:55 Emily: So, end of sophomore year.

1:02:55 Ally: The end of sophomore year.

1:02:58 Fig: She died, but when I saw Ivy, Ivy didn't look like, "Oh my god, a ghost!" She looked like—

1:03:05 Kristen: Maybe she died in a way that kinda messed them up.

1:03:08 Fig: Maybe they faked some kind of—

1:03:09 Kristen: Oh yeah, maybe.

1:03:09 Adaine: Maybe she knew immediately.

1:03:11 Riz: That's possible, but it's also possible that—

1:03:14 Emily: I don't think so, because he didn't have me roll. I roll with advantage to deceive someone, 'cause I have a feat that's all about disguising myself.

1:03:21 Siobhan: Maybe she has Truesight or something, though.

1:03:22 Emily: Ah, true. Could be.

1:03:23 Fabian: Well, you guys let me know when you want me to work my magic.

1:03:27 Fig: I think now would be, yeah.

1:03:28 Brennan: Kristen, you become aware that there is someone approaching the door as you're having this conversation. You hear footsteps out in the hall.

1:03:37 Ally: Okay.

1:03:37 Gorgug: Kristen, get under the clothes!

1:03:41 Ally: I get under the clothes.

1:03:42 Adaine: Why are we hiding Kristen?

1:03:42 Gorgug: I don't know.

1:03:45 Ally: I go,

1:03:45 Kristen: Someone's coming!

1:03:46 Ally: And then you all cover me in clothes.

1:03:47 Riz: Why did we need to hide Kristen?

1:03:50 Brennan: You hide Kristen.

1:03:52 Fig: My president!

1:03:53 Brennan: You see Ivy appears in the doorway.

1:03:56 Fabian: Oh, hey.

1:03:58 Ivy: Oh.

1:03:59 Fabian: Sorry, we were doing a bunch of snuff up here.

1:04:02 Ivy: Got any for me?

1:04:04 Fabian: [chuckles sultrily] Uh, um, yes. If you'd like some.

1:04:08 Emily: Can I elbow the singing pirates?

1:04:10 Fig: Hey, do you have any snuff?

1:04:13 Pirate: What, you looking to score some?

1:04:15 Fig: Yeah, we need it right now.

1:04:15 Pirate: All right.

1:04:17 Brennan: You see he takes out a crystal, puts a little Square chip in it and says,

1:04:22 Pirate: All right, that'll be 10 gold.

1:04:24 Ally: 10 gold?

1:04:24 Emily: Do I have money?

1:04:25 Gorgug: Wow, that's such a markup.

1:04:25 Fig: I don't think I have money. Fuck, dude!

1:04:28 Fabian: Here, just run my card. We've been buying it off these guys.

1:04:34 Brennan: Hands it out to you.

1:04:34 Gorgug: We should go to a store.

1:04:37 Brennan: You see Ivy looks out and says,

1:04:37 Ivy: Killer party.

1:04:41 Fabian: Yeah.

1:04:42 Ivy: Where's Madame President Elect? Ally is hunched over.

1:04:47 Fabian: She was just here, but she had to go deal with some constituents who had some concerns about safety measures at the steel factory. You know, just all in a day's work for a president.

1:04:57 Gorgug: Junior class president.

1:04:57 Ivy: Very understandable.

1:05:00 Fig: She's had a couple people going after her, so.

1:05:03 Fabian: Yeah.

1:05:05 Riz: What's going on with you?

1:05:07 Ivy: I was coming up looking for the snuff powder.

1:05:09 Fabian: Ha ha. Well, you found it. Here.

1:05:14 Brennan: You see that she takes a little bit and is slowly undoing it, but you see she looks over at you, Fig, and smiles, says,

1:05:23 Ivy: Love those leggings, like fishnet.

1:05:25 Fig: Yeah. I don't know if you remember Doreen, the lunch lady.

1:05:31 Ivy: The lunch lady from our freshman year. I believe you killed her.

1:05:35 Adaine: Yeah, actually, on our first day, so it's wild that you remember her.

1:05:39 Ivy: It was pretty memorable. It was my first day of school. Someone killed the lunch lady with her ladle.

1:05:43 Adaine: It was pretty memorable for me as well.

1:05:45 Ivy: Yeah.

1:05:46 Siobhan: I'm getting really maudlin in the corner.

1:05:48 Adaine: I'm just fully useless. I can't believe I killed her.

1:05:51 Ivy: I just mentioned because you've got, like, there's a couple threads broken like you maybe scuffed your knees. Are you much of a skateboarder?

1:05:59 Fig: Yeah, I'm a skateboarder. Do you skateboard?

1:06:01 Ivy: No. There's all these dwarven kids that are doing it. Ever since they reopened the mithral factory, it's like... Or the mithral co-op, I should say. The whole town's covered with dwarven skaters, grinding on rails, jumping off the curb.

1:06:12 Adaine: We love those kids.

1:06:12 Fig: Yeah, it's a utopia.

1:06:14 Ivy: I guess so.

1:06:14 Adaine: They're really cool.

1:06:17 Ally: I Message everyone and go,

1:06:18 Kristen: Is there a reason I'm still hiding?

1:06:20 Adaine: I don't think so.

1:06:20 Murph: I Message you back.

1:06:21 Riz: I have no idea why you hid.

1:06:21 Emily: I Message you back and I say,

1:06:23 Fig: You could make a really campy entrance.

1:06:25 Ally: I get out of the clothes and I go...

1:06:26 Kristen: [yawns theatrically]

1:06:28 Riz: Oh!

1:06:28 Fabian: Madame President!

1:06:30 Ivy: Oh, a quick power nap at your campaign announcement.

1:06:34 Kristen: Sorry, guys. I was so tired and like, a little bit bored. Cool party, right?

1:06:43 Brennan: You see, walking into the doorway— it looks like it's one of those things where the host and other kids go to a room at a party they are throwing, it has a gravitational pull to it. So you see some other steps come up, and Mazey, the current class president, senior, sort of looks in the doorway and says,

1:07:03 Mazey: Oh, a little private hang? Some cool air in here?

1:07:05 Kristen: Yeah, you know, I'd love to pick your brain sometime, if we could do a power lunch at school.

1:07:11 Mazey: Not allowed to do favoritism, but during office hours, school hours, yeah, let's do it.

1:07:14 Kristen: I'd love that. I'd love that.

1:07:17 Fabian: We're doing snuff.

1:07:17 Mazey: Oh.

1:07:20 Fabian: Pirate snuff, if you'd like to hit it.

1:07:22 Mazey: You know, I'm good.

1:07:22 Fabian: All right.

1:07:24 Mazey: Thank you, but—

1:07:24 Fabian: All good.

1:07:25 Mazey: Hey, I was wondering, 'cause I was noticing there was a games closet and there's Twister and stuff.

1:07:29 Fabian: Yeah.

1:07:30 Mazey: Wanna break out some Twister?

1:07:32 Brennan: You see Ivy, standing next to Mazey, goes,

1:07:34 Ivy: Twister? What, are we in middle school?

1:07:37 Brennan: And you watch Mazey get very hurt. You realize Mazey is very talented and has cool stuff going on, but she is involved in student government. She's a good egg.

1:07:51 Fig: Hey, Mazey. I would fucking love to play Twister.

1:07:55 Brennan: Mazey smiles at you, looking very heartened. Go ahead and give me Intimidation directed at Ivy for that.

1:08:04 Ally: Ooh, nice. I'll give you the Help action, if I can.

1:08:06 Brennan: Hell yeah. [die rolling]

1:08:09 Emily: Gonna need that. [die rolling] 17.

1:08:12 Brennan: 17, hell yeah. Ivy purses her lips and just sort of smiles at you and says,

1:08:19 Ivy: Bit chilly.

1:08:22 Adaine: That's the ice muffets.

1:08:26 Brennan: [laughs] I love drunk Adaine so much! The ice muffets.

1:08:29 Adaine: I made it really cold in here.

1:08:31 Gorgug: Can you get them out of here?

1:08:33 Brennan: She looks you and says—

1:08:33 Emily: I think I don't respond. I think I just wanna go down and use all of my bardic energy to get a rowdy game of Twister going. I turn it into drinking Twister. I emcee it. I have rivalries. I host it like a pro wrestling match.

1:08:51 Brennan: As you get down to get the Twister party started, you see Ivy looks at Mazey and doesn't say anything, 'cause of that Intimidation roll, but she looks over and says,

1:08:57 Ivy: Some snuff, Master Seacaster.

1:09:01 Brennan: And you see Mazey looks over at you and says,

1:09:03 Mazey: Yeah, Twister, there's a cool variant where there's some break dancing moves, if you wanted to come play.

1:09:11 Fabian: Oh.

1:09:13 Brennan: Ivy sort of smiles.

1:09:15 Fig: There's actually a huge line. You don't need to come. It's already really popular.

1:09:19 Fabian: Yeah, I'm gonna stay up here and do snuff.

1:09:21 Fig: Yeah.

1:09:22 Fabian: Sadly, Twister is not my style. [crosses his arms]

1:09:27 Brennan: Ivy grins and says,

1:09:27 Ivy: Bye bye, Macy.

1:09:30 Brennan: And you see Mazey— anyone in the room can make an Insight check.

1:09:36 Emily: I don't even want to.

1:09:39 Siobhan: What a bad 19.

1:09:39 Ally: 18.

1:09:41 Siobhan: 25.

1:09:41 Murph: 22.

1:09:43 Brennan: Anyone who got a 20—

1:09:43 Emily: I got a dirty 20.

1:09:44 Siobhan: So drunk.

1:09:46 Brennan: I think all of Fabian's friends see Fabian's decision for what it is.

1:09:52 Gorgug: I'll go play Twister.

1:09:52 Riz: I'll also go play Twister.

1:09:55 Brennan: You see Mazey turns around and has a deep sigh, and she looks and says,

1:10:02 Mazey: [sighs heavily] Let's go!

1:10:04 Brennan: And you see that she picks you up and puts you up on her giant shoulder.

1:10:05 Fig: Yeah!

1:10:06 Ally: I mouth to Fig,

1:10:06 Kristen: Use this! Be in with the prez!

1:10:12 Fig: I'm not gonna do that!

1:10:12 Kristen: Use this!

1:10:15 Fig: Kristen, fine!

1:10:15 Ally: I go,

1:10:15 Kristen: Follow the money! I don't know what it means.

1:10:19 Brennan: Incredible. The Twister party is fucking legendary. Mazey does not take shots, but transitions to have a kind of, “All right, taking my windbreaker off!" That kinda—

1:10:31 Emily: Yeah.

1:10:32 Brennan: Getting involved with other people. Everyone goes and jumps in the tartar sauce in the pool. You see that it's very fun and rowdy. There's a variant where you can avoid certain things by doing dance moves. At one point, she has to get a foot to an impossible place and leaps up and does this incredible acrobatic flip into a spot to land in the right place.

1:10:56 Ally: Standing ovation.

1:10:58 Brennan: As the party winds down at the end of the night, you see Mazey walks over to you, Fig, specifically, and is like,

1:11:07 Mazey: You fucking rule.

1:11:10 Fig: Oh, thanks. You know who's gonna rule? [Murph sobs]

1:11:17 Gorgug: [quietly] Fig, you don't have to. Fig, you don't have to.

1:11:20 Ally: I Message Fig and go, “do it.” No, I'm kidding, I don't know what's happening.

1:11:24 Emily: With tears in my eyes.

1:11:27 Fig: Kristen Applebees.

1:11:29 Mazey: Yeah, that's awesome.

1:11:29 Ally: With tears!

1:11:32 Zac: Gorgug's behind Mazey, weeping.

1:11:34 Mazey: You've had a big day. I feel like you had a big day. I'm gonna head out. I'll probably listen to "Burn Towns Get Money" like 10 times like I always do on the way home.

1:11:47 Fig: Whoa, awesome.

1:11:47 Mazey: Yeah.

1:11:49 Fig: I'm working on a new album.

1:11:49 Mazey: Oh, sick. I love it.

1:11:53 Fig: Thinking of self producing.

1:11:55 Mazey: Sick, yeah. Fuck the record labels.

1:11:57 Fig: Fuck the record labels.

1:11:58 Mazey: Yeah, I'm amazed we haven't talked about bard stuff before but it's hard to think— you know, I wanna be in music videos, but I wanna do avant garde stuff, but my family sort of wants me to... It's hard to make money doing that.

1:12:08 Fig: I have a question.

1:12:08 Mazey: Yeah?

1:12:09 Fig: I'm kind of going through a personal crisis.

1:12:12 Mazey: Yeah?

1:12:12 Fig: As a bard, do you feel like the cultivation of your craft is where your power comes from? Commitment to your craft?

1:12:21 Mazey: I always felt like the fundamental substance of the universe is creation. None of this makes any sense, when you really break it down. It's like, none of this had to happen, but it's beautiful, and art is the definition of, "this didn't have to happen, but it's beautiful." So I think the reason bard magic works is it's so impractical and it's so wonderful, it resonates with the universe 'cause the universe is consciousness or whatever playing with itself.

1:12:58 Fig: I think I hear you and I love that, and I love that that— it's like you talk about creation, but if I'm thinking about, what is my authentic impetus, it's probably destruction.

1:13:10 Mazey: Hey, the energies that formed the universe were inherently destructive. Destruction and creation, that's the beautiful cycle.

1:13:21 Brennan: Max Durden shows up, whose eyes are bloodshot red, and he goes,

1:13:25 Max: [slurring] You guys talk about philosophy?

1:13:27 Fig: I'm just trying to decide if I wanna be a bard anymore.

1:13:31 Max: Yeah.

1:13:31 Fig: I think I want—

1:13:32 Max: I feel like the universe created itself to better understand itself.

1:13:34 Gorgug: Max! Hey!

1:13:41 Ally: Everyone deserves a Gorgug in their corner.

1:13:43 Brennan: Everyone deserves a Gorgug. As the party winds down, Mazey gives Fig a big hug before the end. Fabian, you and Ivy have some lovely—

1:13:53 Ally: I'm still up there.

1:13:55 Brennan: Kristen, you stay in the room?

1:13:56 Ally: I third wheel as long as possible.

1:13:58 Fabian: It's just the three of us.

1:13:59 Ivy: Kristen, I think there's some people downstairs that are wondering if you're gonna make a speech or something.

1:14:07 Kristen: I think you're right. I bet everyone wants to know about all my campaign promises. Have you heard them yet?

1:14:10 Fabian: Yes! I think I—

1:14:12 Kristen: Or are you probably voting with Kipperlilly?

1:14:16 Fabian: Copper—

1:14:17 Ivy: You know, got to have that party loyalty. But it's lovely to see the alternatives.

1:14:22 Kristen: Yeah? Well, that's honestly very heartening.

1:14:24 Fabian: Cool, you could maybe tell Ivy tomorrow at school.

1:14:29 Kristen: Yeah.

1:14:29 Fabian: Or I guess it's Saturday, so maybe on Monday.

1:14:32 Kristen: Yeah, so I can't do it tomorrow. Do you wanna hear some of my talking points? Actually, I'm not trying to—

1:14:37 Brennan: You see that Oisín knocks on the door, wanders in. Oisín: Hello. Ah!

1:14:41 Fabian: Hey, what's up? Oisín: How's it going?

1:14:43 Fabian: Good. Oisín: Ivy, we gotta roll. Kipperlilly's calling.

1:14:48 Brennan: And you see that Ivy says,

1:14:52 Ivy: [sighs] What a pity.

1:14:52 Brennan: And wanders out after Oisín.

1:14:54 Fabian: Kristen, what the fuck?

1:14:54 Kristen: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

1:14:56 Fabian: What the fuck, Kristen? Kristen, didn't you see how mean I was to that other person? And for what? I thought you were gonna go play Twister!

1:15:06 Kristen: You've ruined your relationship with her. We all watched you be a social coward, Fabian. I'm so sorry.

1:15:14 Fabian: Why did you stay? You understood my sacrifice!

1:15:17 Kristen: I just wanted to hear how she's running her campaign. I thought we could get a little information out of her friends. I'm sorry. All right, look, I owe you one.

1:15:25 Ally: I give you a really complicated handshake.

1:15:28 Kristen: I owe you one. No, and then we go up.

1:15:32 Fabian: Ow, my hand!

1:15:32 Ally: I'm wearing so many rings. I'm trying to look like an everywoman.

1:15:36 Brennan: As the party is winding down— as the party is winding down, you see Max Durden says,

1:15:41 Max: See you guys at practice. By the way, I think we broke something in the basement.

1:15:49 Murph: What?

1:15:50 Max: Sorry. Bye.

1:15:50 Gorgug: Seems fine, probably.

1:15:53 Fabian: I'm sure it's fine. You know, I've still got that wax from freshman year.

1:15:58 Gorgug: I have Mending. I can help.

1:15:59 Fabian: Oh, perfect. Do you wanna run down and just—

1:16:01 Gorgug: Yeah.

1:16:02 Fabian: We'll take a look at it real quick.

1:16:03 Brennan: This is gonna be more than a Mending cantrip. There is an enormous thing in the basement that is this massive arcano-tech construction that looks like it was bought. Fabian, the basement is filled with gadgetry and tech. When your dad moved to Solace with all of its higher tech stuff, when he took the general amnesty to move here, he just bought tons of shit 'cause he heard it was cool, and it's just sitting in boxes. You see that there is this thing that apparently got shattered, there was some roughhousing down here, and you see on the side of the box it says, "Cloud Rider Engine."

1:16:39 Fabian: Cloud Rider Engine, weird.

1:16:39 Lou: Can I open it?

1:16:44 Brennan: Yeah, it's partially open. The machine has been knocked over and some shit's broken inside it.

1:16:48 Zac: Can I make, I don't know—

1:16:50 Brennan: Give me a tinker's tools check. Intelligence plus proficiency. [die rolling]

1:16:55 Zac: That's a 24.

1:16:55 Siobhan: Nice.

1:16:57 Brennan: This is an engine that, in accompaniment with other work that needs to happen on a ship, you think makes a ship capable of a form of sky travel. Not of pure flight, but of riding on clouds.

1:17:17 Gorgug: This is just in your basement?

1:17:19 Fabian: Yeah, there's a bunch of this shit my dad bought when he moved here. It was for tax purposes. He was like, "I have to spend money. Otherwise, the government's gonna take it." So yeah, he just bought all this stuff.

1:17:31 Gorgug: Okay.

1:17:31 Murph: Does it look like it was broken, or was something taken from it?

1:17:37 Brennan: Give me an Investigation check.

1:17:41 Murph: 25.

1:17:42 Emily: Ooh, you're rolling better. Rolling better.

1:17:46 Brennan: Riz, it's very specific for something to get roughhoused with that much, and I think you know enough to know that gorgenfern is not that rowdy of a drug.

1:17:54 Murph: Yeah.

1:17:57 Emily: Max Durden is up to something.

1:17:59 Riz: This was an intentional—

1:17:59 Fabian: What?

1:18:02 Fig: Do you want me to go trail Max Durden?

1:18:04 Riz: Let's go.

1:18:05 Emily: Okay, I'm gonna go trail Max Durden.

1:18:07 Brennan: You go trail Max? Cool. Let me roll a little Luck check just to see if Max is still around. Four, looks like Max got picked up by his brother and headed out.

1:18:15 Murph: Okay.

1:18:17 Gorgug: I feel like someone just pushed him into the machine, 'cause he's so blazed.

1:18:22 Fig: Who was he down there with? [to Fabian] Do you have security cameras?

1:18:25 Lou: Does my dad have security cameras?

1:18:27 Brennan: Yeah. If you run it back, you see there's people down there. There's a bunch of kids down there. You don't see any of the Rat Grinders.

1:18:34 Emily: Mm-hm.

1:18:35 Brennan: The kids are down there, they're smoking, they're talking, and after a certain point, you see a bunch of ice mephits fly in and start ginning up the kids. Start getting the kids ginned up and rowdy, and then they start wrestling. The ice mephits are nut tapping people and blowing frost on their faces, just getting people riled up.

1:18:59 Emily: This would be very, very convenient if you're a conjuration wizard and you wanted to imitate someone else.

1:19:03 Lou: Yes, can we—

1:19:03 Siobhan: Can we tell if they're mine?

1:19:06 Brennan: Give me an Arcana check. Through a security camera... [die rolling]

1:19:11 Siobhan: 13.

1:19:12 Brennan: Unfortunately, as far as you can tell, these are your ice mephits.

1:19:15 Adaine: Fuck, my bad, man. My bad.

1:19:15 Fabian: It's fine.

1:19:17 Ally: They just get everyone excited, and then someone accidentally—

1:19:20 Brennan: You see a couple of the ice mephits join in to tip the box over. Give me an Investigation check as you're watching the box get tipped over. Call it a DC 25. [dice rattling]

1:19:33 Murph: Just a 21.

1:19:35 Brennan: You're looking at it. Mephits, a couple of wrestling kids in the basement. Box goes over. Something.

1:19:44 Riz: Okay, something that helps you fly.

1:19:47 Fig: Fabian, you need to stay on this Ivy beat.

1:19:50 Fabian: All right.

1:19:50 Fig: Are you willing to do that?

1:19:52 Fabian: Yeah. Yeah, totally.

1:19:54 Kristen: Did they steal it for their adventuring party?

1:19:56 Gorgug: You might have to go out on dates with her.

1:19:58 Fabian: I'll do that. Yeah, I'm down.

1:19:59 Kristen: Are they gonna use it?

1:19:59 Riz: Wait a second. All of the... Everyone... This has not anything to do with the little machine that was stolen, but people from their team wanted us... Max, who was acting strange, everyone wanted us to do drugs. Is it possible they're trying to get us kicked out of our various clubs?

1:20:22 Gorgug: I think Kipperlilly was here.

1:20:24 Riz: Trying to get us kicked out.

1:20:24 Kristen: Oh!

1:20:26 Gorgug: Trying to get a picture of us taking drugs.

1:20:28 Riz: Yep. Yep.

1:20:30 Adaine: Are we not supposed to take drugs? We murder people.

1:20:33 Fig: Would we get in trouble?

1:20:33 Adaine: We're not allowed to take drugs?

1:20:35 Gorgug: Maybe if you're running for office.

1:20:36 Brennan: Well, here's the thing. It never would've been a problem when Arthur Aguefort was principal.

1:20:41 Adaine: Fuck!

1:20:43 Fabian: Did any of us do drugs?

1:20:44 Adaine: You did!

1:20:46 Riz: No, you said you were going to, and then you were interrupted.

1:20:49 Gorgug: Snuff is just tobacco, right?

1:20:50 Fabian: Yeah, snuff's, I mean—

1:20:52 Fig: [to Kristen] You never actually went down, right?

1:20:54 Kristen: No, I never went.

1:20:54 Adaine: And we were drinking, which is illegal.

1:20:55 Fig: You almost did.

1:20:57 Fabian: Oh, it's milk. It's bad baby milk.

1:20:57 Adaine: It’s bad baby milk!

1:20:57 Fabian: It's mostly milk.

1:21:00 Adaine: It’s mostly milk.

1:21:02 Brennan: As the party winds down— Fabian, what time do you think this party wraps up?

1:21:06 Lou: Oh, the next morning. I'm definitely trying to entertain three people outside on the front lawn who just won't leave.

1:21:16 Brennan: Sun is coming up. Does every Bad Kid make it to sunup?

1:21:19 Siobhan: No!

1:21:20 Murph: I try.

1:21:20 Ally: Yes.

1:21:21 Brennan: Adaine, you're trancing. You're just off somewhere.

1:21:24 Siobhan: Adaine, for the first time, is sleeping. Fully passed out, snoring on a couch.

1:21:31 Brennan: Snoring on a couch.

1:21:31 Zac: Gorgug's legs are just sticking out from under a couch or something.

1:21:35 Murph: I keep trying to wake Gorgug up.

1:21:36 Riz: Gorgug! You know more stuff about these machines and everything than I do.

1:21:40 Gorgug: [eyes shut] I know, yes.

1:21:40 Riz: We need to go through every single piece of this cloud thing.

1:21:41 Gorgug: Absolutely.

1:21:43 Riz: And see if anything's missing!

1:21:44 Gorgug: Absolutely.

1:21:45 Brennan: Fabian, you get texts from Jawbone saying,

1:21:50 Jawbone: Hey champ, getting worried texts from the Thistlesprings. Can you just take pictures of anyone who's asleep?

1:21:56 Fabian: Yes.

1:21:56 Lou: I take a picture of just Gorgug's leg. Good.

1:22:04 Brennan: You see you get a little thumbs up and then a heart emoji from Jawbone. Riz, you're still up talking about clues.

1:22:09 Murph: I have a conspiracy board going at Fabian's house now.

1:22:12 Brennan: Incredible.

1:22:12 Fabian: Riz!

1:22:13 Ally: I'm with you and I've made a mini board of election shit.

1:22:16 Fabian: Riz, I have a corkboard.

1:22:16 Riz: No, it's fine.

1:22:18 Fabian: You don't have to do this on the wall.

1:22:19 Emily: I'm ripping up Fabian's clothing.

1:22:21 Fabian: Stop! I have yarn! I have all these things!

1:22:25 Brennan: There's a massive firbolg whose eyes take up all of her spectacles, huge eyes, and she says,

1:22:30 Gertie: And I just want you to know you can count on the Apiarist Society to support President Applebees.

1:22:36 Riz: That's great.

1:22:36 Fig: Whoa, like bees?

1:22:38 Gertie: Yeah, we keep bees.

1:22:39 Fig: Holy shit, can I have a hive?

1:22:42 Gertie: You wanna join the Apiarist Society?

1:22:43 Fig: Yeah, I do! I do!

1:22:43 Riz: Join us, yeah!

1:22:45 Gertie: Great, well, it looks great on a college resume. It's an extracurricular.

1:22:48 Kristen: How many of you are there?

1:22:50 Gertie: What?

1:22:50 Kristen: How many of you are there?

1:22:53 Gertie: Well, Ms. Faeth will make three.

1:22:56 Riz: And me! Wait, I'm—

1:22:58 Gertie: You're number two.

1:23:00 Kristen: The whole club's here, huh?

1:23:00 Fig: This is such a good group! Literally wielding a weapon, and no one wants to be in this club?

1:23:05 Gertie: Fig Faeth, Riz Gukgak, and Gertie Bladeshield.

1:23:08 Riz: All right, Gertie Bladeshield. Let's do this.

1:23:11 Fig: Does everyone get a piece of the hive?

1:23:13 Gertie: Well, it's not so much about getting bees as it is tending to and caring for bees.

1:23:20 Fabian: How much honey do you get?

1:23:21 Riz: Also, we are gonna take the college credit. It's not about the honey, okay?

1:23:24 Fabian: Do we get honey? Is there honey? I'll join for honey.

1:23:26 Riz: There will be honey!

1:23:26 Fig: It's only about the honey.

1:23:28 Riz: No, no, no!

1:23:28 Gertie: I'm not gonna lie—

1:23:30 Kristen: Have you ever had fresh honey? It's incredible.

1:23:32 Gertie: Wait, is this number four for the apiarists?

1:23:33 Fabian: Is there honey? Fresh honey?

1:23:35 Kristen: Five.

1:23:35 Gertie: Five?

1:23:36 Kristen: You have a president coming to your club.

1:23:37 Gertie: Oh my god!

1:23:38 Zac: Gorgug starts to wake up.

1:23:38 Gorgug: Is it local honey or what?

1:23:41 Gertie: Yeah, we do it in the forest.

1:23:42 Kristen: It will solve your, uh…

1:23:42 Gorgug: Allergies?

1:23:42 Kristen: Allergies.

1:23:43 Fig: You all get a piece of the hive if you join.

1:23:45 Gertie: Again, it's not getting a piece of the hive.

1:23:48 Fabian: Orange blossom, clove?

1:23:49 Fig: We've just got to get them fucking and make some more queens.

1:23:51 Kristen: Yeah, you're right.

1:23:53 Fig: We each get a queen, we each have a hive.

1:23:55 Kristen: Oh, if we cut up the hive, each queen might find one.

1:23:58 Gertie: Well, if you come to the Apiarist Society, we'd be more than happy to run you through hive maintenance.

1:24:04 Adaine: You know, it's not easy being the queen. Sometimes you can get rejected, and they murder you.

1:24:09 Kristen: Oh.

1:24:09 Adaine: It's so sad.

1:24:11 Gertie: It's really sad.

1:24:11 Adaine: It's so sad.

1:24:13 Gertie: Well, very excited, and again, it'll be exciting. Bee care and maintenance is a huge... My whole junior year at the adventuring academy is gonna be mainly dedicated to the care of bees.

1:24:24 Fabian: Cool, well, we're excited to get that honey.

1:24:26 Fig: Yeah, I'm excited to get my piece.

1:24:28 Riz: We're excited to help the bees, in general. Be part of the club and get it on our—

1:24:30 Kristen: Can we put a big ribbon around the hive and I can cut it with some scissors?

1:24:35 Gertie: The hive or the ribbon?

1:24:35 Kristen: Oh no, just the ribbon.

1:24:38 Riz: Let's go to one meeting, okay? Let's just go to the one, right?

1:24:42 Fabian: We'll go to one meeting.

1:24:42 Brennan: You see Gertie leaves, looking really shaken and disturbed.

1:24:48 Ally: I pat Gertie's back and I've stuck a sticker right here that says, "It's always happy hour at Applebees."

1:24:54 Riz: Gertie is already voting for you!

1:24:56 Brennan: You see, as she turns around with the sticker on her, she says,

1:24:58 Gertie: And hey, I made this for you, by the way.

1:25:01 Brennan: And you see it is a little bumblebee, but its little body is in the shape of an apple with a little stem coming out of the top of its back. So it's a little black and yellow striped—

1:25:14 Riz: This is great.

1:25:14 Kristen: Oh, thank you.

1:25:16 Fabian: Is it alive?

1:25:16 Kristen: Oh my god, this is so cool.

1:25:19 Gertie: It's just a little toy. It's a little thing.

1:25:21 Fabian: Oh, thank god.

1:25:21 Gertie: But if you unscrew it…

1:25:23 Brennan: And you see that she takes, it's almost like a little makeup jar thing where it has a flush lid that you can unscrew, and you see there's a little glass jar of honey inside.

1:25:32 Kristen: Oh my god!

1:25:32 Ally: I eat some.

1:25:33 Adaine: So we don't even need to join, 'cause the honey's already here.

1:25:36 Gertie: There you go, and a benefit of honey is—

1:25:38 Fabian: [swipes some honey] Oh, that's not that good. Kristen holds the jar out for other Bad Kids to try. Gertie silently stares at Fabian.

1:25:39 Murph: Can I do an Insight check for a second?

1:25:41 Gertie: Hey, fuck you, man!

1:25:41 Fabian: What?

1:25:43 Gertie: I don't give a shit whose kid you are!

1:25:45 Riz: Gertie! Gertie!

1:25:45 Ally: I give her the Help action.

1:25:47 Fig: Gertie, tell him!

1:25:49 Brennan: She says,

1:25:49 Gertie: Get ready for Bladeshield!

1:25:50 Fabian: What the hell?

1:25:50 Gertie: Stinger, come to me!

1:25:53 Riz: Gertie, Gertie, Gertie!

1:25:53 Gorgug: No!

1:25:55 Ally: I give her the Help action.

1:25:55 Brennan: Roll initiative.

1:25:57 Ally: I give her the Help action.

1:25:57 Fabian: It's not that good!

1:26:01 Brennan: Her initiative is 22.

1:26:01 Lou: 14.

1:26:04 Brennan: She's gonna go to disarm you.

1:26:05 Ally: She beats the shit out of you.

1:26:06 Brennan: Give me an opposed Athletics check.

1:26:08 Murph: Wait!

1:26:09 Emily: Can I Hex Fabian so he has disadvantage?

1:26:12 Brennan: Disadvantage? Yes, you can.

1:26:14 Lou: I got—

1:26:14 Brennan: Disadvantage.

1:26:16 Lou: All right, I got a 20.

1:26:18 Brennan: Okay, you resist being disarmed. It is your turn.

1:26:21 Lou: Yes, okay. I'm gonna trip attack.

1:26:24 Brennan: Okay. [die rolling]

1:26:26 Lou: Does a 27 hit?

1:26:29 Brennan: 27 hits.

1:26:30 Emily: Silvery Barbs. Like a bee's barbs!

1:26:35 Lou: That's better. Yeah, that's better, so 28.

1:26:39 Emily: I give advantage to Gertie.

1:26:41 Zac: I cast Heroism on Gertie. [Emily laughs]

1:26:43 Lou: 17. DC 17 check to resist the trip.

1:26:48 Brennan: She resists the trip.

1:26:48 Lou: Okay.

1:26:53 Ally: I bonus action cast Shield of Faith. Her AC goes up by two.

1:26:57 Brennan: She resists the trip, but you do, thwack, she has to step back from it.

1:27:00 Lou: Yes.

1:27:01 Brennan: As she does, you see she says,

1:27:01 Gertie: I'm leaving.

1:27:05 Brennan: As she walks out, Fabian, you get a blip on your phone.

1:27:08 Fabian’s Phone: Nemesis alert. New nemesis detected.

1:27:11 Fabian: Dammit.

1:27:12 Riz: What is everyone doing?

1:27:12 Kristen: It's so good!

1:27:14 Riz: We're falling into such easy traps!

1:27:16 Kristen: It's so good.

1:27:16 Fabian: I've had better honey.

1:27:19 Brennan: There's a list that says Gertie Bladeshield and Chungledown Bim.

1:27:23 Riz: Okay, we have just learned that Gertie is very forward when she's angry at someone and has just made you an enemy, but there was a possibility that Gertie could have been someone sent to do something to us, and we just ate the honey! We just ate it!

1:27:36 Kristen: Oh fuck.

1:27:37 Riz: We need to be more careful!

1:27:37 Ally: Can I do an Insight check?

1:27:39 Riz: We got people that are trying to get us kicked out of school!

1:27:42 Kristen: You're right, you're right. Why did it come in a special hand-whittled thing?

1:27:46 Riz: No, but that's good! Gertie seemed fine!

1:27:49 Ally: Gertie seemed fine. Can I do an Insight check on the honey? Is it bad?

1:27:51 Fig: If we get the bees on our side, we'll be unstoppable. They're everywhere.

1:27:54 Ally: Nat one.

1:27:56 Riz: I don't even know if we're invited to the bee club.

1:27:58 Brennan: This honey's so good. Even if it's poison, it's just so good. Kristen starts eating the honey, shoulders hunched.

1:28:02 Fabian: Let me get you some real honey, all right? Let me get you some good honey.

1:28:04 Kristen: Back off!

1:28:04 Fabian: Okay!

1:28:05 Adaine: You don't know where anything in your house is, except the milk.

1:28:08 Fabian: Cathilda had better honey. It's somewhere in here.

1:28:12 Gorgug: It's probably just got more sugar.

1:28:14 Fabian: Probably.

1:28:17 Kristen: Oh, sorry.

1:28:18 Fig: Apple bee.

1:28:18 Kristen: Yeah, exactly.

1:28:20 Fig: We need to partner with Gertie.

1:28:21 Brennan: Kristen, as your face is covered in honey, you feel your crystal starts ringing. It's an unknown number.

1:28:26 Kristen: Okay. Hello? You've reached presidential candidate Kristen Applebees.

1:28:34 Tracker: Hey, Kristen.

1:28:34 Kristen: Hey, Track. Tracky?

1:28:37 Tracker: Hey, I'm really sorry to call. Ragh texted, and I just wanted to check in, and I sort of promised somebody that I would sort of have an answer today, so…

1:28:52 Kristen: Oh, I excuse myself and I just talk on the phone. Okay, what's up? What kinda answer are you looking for?

1:29:01 Tracker: So, there's someone here in Fallinel who I am spending time with who has requested that I be public about how we feel about each other, and I've said no for a long time because...

1:29:21 Brennan: And here, you hear a pause that you can read into with an Insight check, if you want.

1:29:25 Ally: Yes. [die rolling] So good. That is a 27.

1:29:31 Brennan: On a 27, she is pausing to give the reason why she has not declared this relationship publicly. The real reason, she thinks, would hurt your feelings, so she's not saying it. She says,

1:29:48 Tracker: And I told her that we should delay because…

1:29:51 Brennan: Pause.

1:29:51 Tracker: You know, I just wanted to be respectful in terms of the time window, in terms of everything else.

1:30:05 Brennan: And this is what you know is maybe not a lie, but not the deep truth.

1:30:09 Tracker: So the answer doesn't have to be yes, I just promised that I'd give her an answer today. The answer can be no, if you're not comfortable. But if the answer is no, there probably is an amount of time where it will become necessary for me to, like... If there's a window that you feel is respectful for me to not say publicly that I'm with somebody—

1:30:38 Kristen: Oh, you're asking for my permission?

1:30:43 Tracker: I don't wanna hurt you.

1:30:47 Kristen: Oh. Well, honestly, you're catching me at a really hard time. Cassandra shattered into a million pieces after choking on a shrimp, so...

1:30:59 Fig: I don't think the shrimp was that big a deal.

1:31:02 Kristen: Mostly she just choked on a shrimp. Actually, we were really up. We were about to win everything. And so I don't know if I'm in a, to be completely honest, a mental headspace to answer your question. But that doesn't mean that you even need my permission. We're broken up.

1:31:25 Tracker: So you don't want me to, but you're saying I don't need your permission.

1:31:29 Kristen: Yeah, I'm just saying, I got a lot on my plate right now, so I'm not really in a mental state to be like, "I am so happy for you," the way that maybe I would like to be. I just am like, you know.

1:31:40 Tracker: Yeah, I wanna make... Well, I'm really sorry, and I'm sorry that Cassandra is—

1:31:47 Kristen: Is fucking dead, and I saw Yes!, and it was rotting, and I banished it before I could ask it a question 'cause I'm a fucking idiot.

1:31:54 Tracker: Can you even cast spells right now?

1:31:56 Kristen: No.

1:31:57 Tracker: What's gonna happen with you and Aguefort?

1:31:59 Kristen: I'm gonna be president, bitch. [players snickering]

1:32:04 Brennan: There is a long silence. A long silence.

1:32:11 Ally: Kristen really just gassed herself up, actually. She's standing up on a couch on the phone.

1:32:17 Fabian: Get down! Get down off the couch! Kristen flips everyone off.

1:32:19 Zac: All of us are just watching you.

1:32:21 Gorgug: You're doing really good.

1:32:22 Ally: I'm kinda holding my hand like Napoleon. Is this how Napoleon did it?

1:32:27 Fabian: Kristen, get down.

1:32:30 Kristen: Sorry, I have a lot of adrenaline coursing through my veins.

1:32:31 Tracker: Yeah, that's sorta playful in a way that I'm not feeling right now.

1:32:35 Kristen: Ooh! I'm sorry. Yeah, I was completely honest, I'm having an awful night. And so tonight's not really the night to give you a really honest answer about our relationship.

1:32:53 Tracker: Great, okay.

1:32:54 Kristen: Is that all you wanted to ask? If you could post about your girlfriend?

1:32:58 Tracker: Yeah.

1:32:58 Kristen: Okay.

1:33:00 Tracker: Yeah.

1:33:02 Kristen: I think you should just do it, and I'll figure out a way with the tools that I have, which are throwing myself into this campaign and talking to Jawbone as much as possible.

1:33:20 Tracker: Okay. Well—

1:33:23 Kristen: Can I ask you a question?

1:33:26 Tracker: Yeah, yeah.

1:33:28 Kristen: Your church is thriving. You're doing so good.

1:33:33 Tracker: Yeah.

1:33:34 Kristen: And mine is really, really bad. So bad. How did you pick the moon, and do you ever think about just dropping it and starting a whole new thing that you kinda made up yourself?

1:33:50 Tracker: Look, there were a lot of things about how you chose to be a cleric that I wouldn't have said while we were together, because we were together and I wanted to be supportive. And I'm not gonna say them now, when you're really low. But probably some of the stuff you need to hear is gonna be not that fun to hear. Yeah, my church is thriving, and I've never thought about abandoning Galicaea. We're changing the nature of how people relate to this goddess, and if I didn't do it, she would be the version you saw in the nightmare forest forever. She deserves people that understand her as she once was and as she can be again. And frankly, it's thriving now, but it wasn't four months ago. There were hard, hard parts and there's still a long fucking way to go. And frankly, Kristen, I don't think you've ever dealt with Helio. You were like, yeah, this is bullshit and I'm leaving, but you never grappled with the parts of it that fucking worked for you. You were chosen. All you had to do was do the shit everybody always said you were gonna do. And then you wandered out into the wilderness where you had to make meaning for yourself, and the truth is, Kristen, as much as you "like the idea of making meaning," you don't wanna do it 'cause it's hard.

1:35:20 Kristen: Yeah, my work ethic's been bad. But Helio was so annoying.

1:35:26 Tracker: You leaving Helio was the right choice for you, but the issue is, you wanted something Helio-shaped. You wanted something where the engine was already running and all the machinery was there, and you could just step in and have a waiting flock ready to raise their hands up and say, "This is the chosen one." And then you made a god out of block letters, and it died on the day you made it.

1:35:49 Kristen: Wow.

1:35:50 Tracker: That's true! It's fucked up!

1:35:50 Kristen: Wow.

1:35:53 Tracker: I don't even know if you could go find another god. Your last two gods died!

1:35:55 Kristen: I... [laughs] Okay, I just—

1:36:02 Tracker: You know how rare it is for a god to die?

1:36:04 Kristen: Yeah.

1:36:04 Tracker: Your last two! In high school!

1:36:08 Kristen: Maybe she had a shrimp allergy. You don't fucking know!

1:36:15 Brennan: You see Tracker says—

1:36:18 Kristen: Okay, well, yeah.

1:36:19 Tracker: I'm sorry, 'cause that's really critical, but you're carrying stuff from the bad times that you don't wanna say goodbye to. You think you deserve for it to be easy on some level.

1:36:33 Kristen: Yeah. Okay, well, as one of my loose ends I'd love to tie up nicely, I hope your new partner is really fucking hot.

1:36:49 Tracker: All right, Kristen.

1:36:49 Ally: And I hang up.

1:36:53 Brennan: So everyone's around as Kristen's in an egg on the couch.

1:36:57 Fig: Kristen, I loved what you said about how it's not falling, it's flying down.

1:37:03 Fabian: Yes, yes.

1:37:03 Kristen: Thank you.

1:37:04 Fabian: And honestly, I thought that was a pretty solid dunk last line of being like, "You can have a hot girlfriend, I don't care." I thought that was pretty, like—

1:37:12 Kristen: Okay, yeah, Riz, you're the only one who's honest with me. As my campaign manager, was that good?

1:37:17 Riz: No, I mean—

1:37:17 Kristen: You started to say no.

1:37:20 Riz: No, it's... I think we all need time, right? We all need—

1:37:25 Fig: Okay, before we take time, Kristen, you're a cleric with an Instagram promoting a god, and then someone suddenly wants to put their face in your platform with which you gather followers? Doesn't that feel like someone's making a power grab? Who's this person that she's seeing?

1:37:42 Ally: Can I go online and see if she's already posted the thing?

1:37:45 Brennan: A brand new post, up within a minute of you hanging up.

1:37:49 Siobhan: So she'd already had it written out.

1:37:51 Brennan: Already written out.

1:37:51 Ally: Saved to drafts, all right.

1:37:54 Brennan: "Princess Naradriel of Fallinel is such a meaningful addition to our family here at Wolfsong. As the scion of this house of elves..." Give me a History check, Adaine. [die rolling]

1:38:08 Siobhan: That is a 21.

1:38:12 Brennan: Naradriel's family comes from a family of moon goddess clerics within the high elf culture of Fallinel.

1:38:20 Adaine: Oh, that Naradriel.

1:38:23 Siobhan: Have I met her? Do I know her?

1:38:24 Brennan: Yeah, I think you know her.

1:38:25 Adaine: She sucks. You're so much better than her. You remember those dancing teens? The horny dancing teens in the wood?

1:38:35 Kristen: That was her?

1:38:36 Adaine: I think she was probably one of them, yeah. Fuck, did she meet her in Fallinel when we were there? Did she— [Adaine and Kristen gasp]

1:38:44 Kristen: I can't think about overlap.

1:38:44 Adaine: I am so sorry.

1:38:46 Kristen: I can't think about overlap.

1:38:46 Adaine: I'm so sorry. 'Cause why would she even ask you?

1:38:50 Kristen: There's at least emotional overlap.

1:38:51 Adaine: Why would she even ask you if it's okay to post?

1:38:54 Fabian: We shouldn't jump to conclusions.

1:38:55 Adaine: Why would people be questioning?

1:38:56 Ally: Do I recognize this person?

1:38:58 Brennan: Let's roll a Luck check in front of the board. You want a high number. [die rolling] It's a six. You feel like the face is a little bit familiar.

1:39:08 Adaine: Actually, you know, I have a really good idea, and it's not just 'cause I'm still drunk, but I think that this will fix everything and all of Fabian's problems, also.

1:39:16 Fabian: Oh, sick.

1:39:17 Adaine: I'm gonna ritual cast Unseen Servant and I'm gonna tell it to make us breakfast sandwiches.

1:39:24 Kristen: Can we have sriracha mayo and pepperjack?

1:39:24 Adaine: A la mode?

1:39:28 Kristen: And have them a la mode.

1:39:29 Fabian: And can you have it find the honey from the Feywild? You guys are gonna understand, that honey was bad.

1:39:35 Kristen: I'm developing a dairy allergy but I don't care.

1:39:38 Gorgug: I'm wondering if you've had too much milk.

1:39:40 Fabian: What? No such thing.

1:39:41 Fig: My stomach hasn't been right.

1:39:43 Brennan: The Unseen Servants are basically just little gusts of wind, so a salad bowl covered in ketchup, ripped up bread, and half cooked eggs and bacon—

1:39:51 Emily: The eggs aren't even cooked.

1:39:53 Brennan: It's just basically like a ketchup, bread, eggs, bacon salad.

1:39:55 Murph: Sure.

1:39:57 Emily: I cast Fireball on it just to make sure, just to sterilize it. [Ally laughs]

1:40:02 Kristen: Over-hard, I guess I'll just eat these separately. Fabian blows on his to cool it.

1:40:07 Adaine: It did melt the ice cream a little bit.

1:40:09 Brennan: So you guys partied all night, but you also said that you would go get lunch with Lydia Barkrock today.

1:40:13 Siobhan: Oh fuck.

1:40:13 Ally: Incredible. Before that ends, can I just text Tracker?

1:40:18 Kristen: Tough but fair, have a great life. [Lou laughing hysterically] Fig gives Kristen thumbs ups and okay signs.

1:40:25 Brennan: “Tough but fair, have a great life.” You get a text back in a second that just says,

1:40:34 Tracker: I only know one cleric that restored a god, and I only know one cleric that brought herself back from the dead. Now comes the part where you just gotta do the uncool shit.

1:40:45 Brennan: And there's a heart emoji.

1:40:47 Kristen: That's really nice. Okay.

1:40:50 Siobhan: Can I text Aelwyn?

1:40:52 Adaine: Hey, do you know what's up with that girl Naradriel?

1:40:55 Siobhan: And then in a separate text,

1:40:56 Adaine: Also, remember that kid Percival? He made himself hot, LOL.

1:41:00 Siobhan: And then another text, I'm so sorry, it's 5 AM. Are you up?

1:41:04 Brennan: You see you get a text back that just says,

1:41:06 Aelwyn: Working, will call in five.

1:41:08 Adaine: At five AM?

1:41:09 Aelwyn: On a Saturday.

1:41:09 Adaine: On a Saturday?

1:41:11 Brennan: You get a little winky face emoji.

1:41:15 Adaine: Okay, I'm not gonna question that. What's the teacher doing?

1:41:18 Gorgug: We gotta do lunch.

1:41:19 Riz: I also think that we have to be really careful going forward, because Kipperlilly's team is trying to get us kicked out of school or get us to flunk.

1:41:31 Fig: Okay.

1:41:31 Riz: I think we need to find out what happened to Lucy Frostblade, if Lucy actually died. But I do know that you switch to pass-fail if somebody from your team dies.

1:41:44 Kristen: Right, did they need to switch to pass-fail?

1:41:48 Riz: But if Kipperlilly were to—

1:41:49 Adaine: But it's only for the year, right?

1:41:50 Riz: ...become class president, maybe she could change that rule. Maybe they just need good grades to get into whatever school that they're trying to get into.

1:42:00 Kristen: Why does she want to be president? Yeah.

1:42:03 Riz: That would be, that's why they need—

1:42:04 Fig: Ivy didn't act like... I mean, yes, it's possible that she saw, but she would have to be able to... It's not like I rolled a bad Deception.

1:42:13 Riz: Either way, even if Lucy left the party, if your party is incomplete, you switch to pass-fail. So if any of them can't afford to go to school or something, they can't get scholarships now.

1:42:23 Brennan: Give me History or Investigation. [die rolling]

1:42:29 Murph: 28.

1:42:30 Brennan: As you're speaking, you remember that slip in the yearbook and you know that yearbooks come in time for graduation. But you suddenly remember that there's usually about a week or two weeks in between when your final exams are.

1:42:44 Murph: Right.

1:42:44 Brennan: And there's no more things that affect your grade after that. Having done all that research beforehand, the majority of the pie chart of when Lucy could've "disappeared" that they wouldn't have been able to include it in the yearbook is actually in a period of time where there wouldn't have been grading. It would've been after finals.

1:43:00 Murph: So if you start a new year, you can have a different adventuring party?

1:43:05 Brennan: Yes, basically you can't swap in ringers in the middle of your school year.

1:43:10 Fabian: But it makes sense that they would want to bring in a ringer like our not bad baby, Buddy, who is the backup team chosen one of Helio. They see a chance to bring him in, you kill Lucy.

1:43:26 Fig: 'Cause Lucy Frostblade, I'm almost like, was she not healing-focused enough?

1:43:32 Brennan: It's not listed in the yearbook, but finding out what domain she was associated with—

1:43:36 Fig: Me, I'm thinking war domain when I hear Frostblade.

1:43:39 Adaine: Right, and if he's Helio, he's a light domain cleric.

1:43:43 Fabian: We shouldn't be prejudiced like that.

1:43:44 Brennan: Yolanda would've taught Lucy, so your cleric teacher—

1:43:47 Ally: Okay, great.

1:43:49 Brennan: Your cleric teacher would've taught Lucy. You guys have the egg slurry. And then Ragh wanders out, and you can see that he's scraping butter and sweat off his body that's been there all night.

1:44:04 Gorgug: Were you supposed to take a shower a while ago?

1:44:07 Ragh: I did.

1:44:08 Gorgug: Really?

1:44:08 Adaine: Wow, did you use soap?

1:44:10 Ragh: Fuck.

1:44:10 Fabian: Which shower did you use?

1:44:12 Brennan: He turns around. 20 minutes later he comes back out and says,

1:44:16 Ragh: Mom's making lunch.

1:44:18 Riz: Oh, right!

1:44:18 Adaine: Oh, great.

1:44:20 Riz: Okay, yeah, we're gonna go have lunch with your mom. Let's go do it.

1:44:24 Kristen: Before we go, does anyone else have any big shit weighing on their hearts and minds?

1:44:31 Fig: I think I don't wanna be a bard anymore.

1:44:34 Kristen: Really?

1:44:34 Fig: I went to warlock class, and it just clicked.

1:44:40 Kristen: Dang, okay.

1:44:40 Fig: It clicked.

1:44:42 Riz: That's cool.

1:44:42 Adaine: For warlock class, did you have to buy like 10 barrels of diamonds?

1:44:47 Fig: No, we just talked about the power of relationships, and I just feel like that's my shit.

1:44:51 Adaine: That's so interesting to me.

1:44:55 Gorgug: But we now are locked in our classes, right?

1:44:58 Brennan: It's already been the first week of classes, yeah.

1:45:00 Gorgug: This sucks.

1:45:00 Brennan: But there are offices. The vice principal's office is there. If you guys wanted to switch classes mid-year or do other stuff, you can submit that. It was due on the 1st of the year, but you've seen there's a lot of loopholes and interesting things. Arthur Aguefort, over hundreds of years of running this school, has said a lot of contradictory stuff, and one of his rules is that anything he verbally said became school canon.

1:45:24 Emily: So we can pick and choose quotes of his.

1:45:25 Brennan: Yeah, exactly, so there's a lot of wiggle room if you wanna switch a class, right?

1:45:29 Riz: Maybe if Kristen becomes school president, maybe we make some of this stuff a little simpler I feel like we've been doing a lot of stuff, some practical application of our classes, and I feel like we haven't gotten credit for like half the stuff we're doing. We're having to destroy ourselves to pass these classes.

1:45:47 Gorgug: This is a good platform.

1:45:47 Kristen: Okay, yeah, right.

1:45:50 Riz: And this works for everybody.

1:45:51 Kristen: Can you write a little speech about this?

1:45:52 Riz: Of course.

1:45:53 Adaine: World saving should count more than rat fucking.

1:45:56 Kristen: That is perfectly put.

1:45:58 Brennan: You head to Mordred Manor. As you do so—

1:46:02 Kristen: [squints][raises her arms] Oh my god!

1:46:04 Brennan: It's so bright. [Gorgug croaking]

1:46:08 Ally: I'm wearing two pairs of sunglasses.

1:46:10 Murph: Riz is also wearing sunglasses.

1:46:11 Siobhan: I try and cast Dispel Magic at the sun.

1:46:15 Brennan: You guys get home. As you get home, you see Jawbone, giant cup of tea. He's got his cardigan, but he's got some workout shorts and fuzzy bunny slippers.

1:46:23 Adaine: [taking his tea] Thank you. Thank you.

1:46:23 Jawbone: Oh, uh-oh! Uh-oh, what do we got going on here?

1:46:26 Adaine: There's so much sugar.

1:46:29 Jawbone: Late night study party, huh?

1:46:31 Kristen: A real dark night of the soul.

1:46:33 Brennan: You see he looks at you and goes,

1:46:33 Jawbone: Hey now.

1:46:36 Ally: I touch his neck so hard.

1:46:36 Adaine: Kristen got re-dumped.

1:46:40 Jawbone: My niece can be a piece of work. Come here, kiddo.

1:46:42 Kristen: She was actually kinda nice about it. I love her.

1:46:44 Jawbone: [cringing]

1:46:47 Brennan: He says,

1:46:47 Jawbone: Maybe when the sun's not out, we go on a nice little ride, maybe get a little picnic, PB&Js out on the grass, sunset.

1:46:56 Kristen: [pats Fabian] Who's this man? [gesturing to Jawbone] Who's this angel?

1:47:00 Brennan: Lydia comes in from the kitchen. You see Ragh goes,

1:47:03 Ragh: Mom!

1:47:03 Brennan: Comes and gives a big hug. She looks out and says,

1:47:08 Lydia: All right, gang. Well, food's served.

1:47:11 Brennan: You walk in, there's a huge salad bowl of this really delicious looking potato salad, a couple enormous homemade pizzas.

1:47:18 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:47:18 Brennan: You see there's all this-

1:47:21 Fabian: Do you guys eat like this all the time?

1:47:22 Gorgug: I love to eat pizzas and potato salad.

1:47:26 Adaine: You gotta carbo-load for when you're wrestling.

1:47:28 Brennan: She goes over to the oven, opens it up, and there's a tray of with fresh basil on them.

1:47:34 Lydia: How many chicken parms?

1:47:37 Kristen: We filled up on your shitty eggs in a salad bowl?

1:47:39 Adaine: It wasn't my shitty eggs, it was the Unseen Servants'.

1:47:42 Lydia: Fabe, how many chicken parms do you want?

1:47:44 Fabian: One? I'll start with one?

1:47:44 Kristen: I'll do three.

1:47:47 Lydia: Okay, start one. Three?

1:47:47 Fabian: You can have three?

1:47:50 Fig: I'll take a gardener's dozen.

1:47:51 Lydia: A gardener's dozen, you got it.

1:47:56 Emily: I eat them all.

1:47:59 Brennan: Lydia just looks over at you and says,

1:48:00 Lydia: You kids need to eat. You're all scrawny.

1:48:03 Brennan: You see Ragh's like,

1:48:03 Ragh: That's what I'm fucking saying!

1:48:05 Siobhan: I take a chicken parm and put it in between two slices of pizza.

1:48:09 Kristen: Hm, yum.

1:48:10 Brennan: You see she says,

1:48:10 Lydia: So what's up? Ragh texted me to let me know that you kiddos had some questions about the gem. Happy to talk about it.

1:48:23 Riz: Right. So we had a similar experience. There was a god who got really angry, and a bunch of red sort of orbs came out, and they took people over. And those people became consumed with rage and began trying to kill the god. And then one of the red orbs jumped into someone who looked at me and said, "Ragh Barkrock."

1:48:50 Brennan: She looks at her son. You see there's a sort of narrowing of her barbarian eyes as she scans her son to be like, "Doppelganger?" You know, is there something? Ragh's like,

1:48:56 Ragh: What?

1:49:00 Brennan: She's like,

1:49:00 Lydia: That's my boy. Okay, who said Ragh's name?

1:49:04 Riz: Kalina.

1:49:04 Lydia: This is the-

1:49:07 Riz: The Shadow Cat.

1:49:07 Lydia: The Shadow Cat, okay.

1:49:10 Adaine: But she's not bad now, or not not good?

1:49:13 Kristen: She's a familiar to a god who's now died, so I don't really know what that makes her.

1:49:16 Adaine: She did say, "I preferred you when you were the Nightmare King," which is...

1:49:20 Riz: After she was taken over.

1:49:20 Adaine: ....rough. Yeah, that's true.

1:49:24 Kristen: When you, and stop me if this is too personal-

1:49:27 Lydia: It's all right.

1:49:27 Kristen: Was your personality changed at all when you took an orb to the chest, or was your thing different than this?

1:49:35 Lydia: No, I mean, it was. It was, you know? I have a relationship to my rage, my anger. The fiend that is in this gem knows my fury, and my anger keeps it at bay.

1:49:57 Fig: Who's the fiend?

1:50:00 Lydia: The fiend was named Bakur.

1:50:03 Kristen: And you know it's still in there? You can feel it?

1:50:06 Lydia: I can feel him. I'm hurting him constantly.

1:50:10 Kristen: Oh, okay.

1:50:11 Lydia: I am battling against him constantly.

1:50:14 Kristen: Oh, okay.

1:50:14 Ally: I give her the Help action.

1:50:18 Lydia: That's very sweet.

1:50:20 Ally: I'm kinda rubbing her neck.

1:50:23 Lydia: Okay. [removes Kristen’s hand from her neck]

1:50:24 Kristen: Ah!

1:50:24 Riz: What is everyone doing?

1:50:26 Kristen: People don't touch each other's necks enough, really. You hold a lot of tension there, I think.

1:50:32 Riz: The god that was releasing this rage also said, "I thought you were dead," to whoever is involved with this.

1:50:41 Lydia: Okay. Weird. Bakur was the right hand- was a pit fiend, was the right hand of a fallen god, a dead god.

1:50:56 Fig: Who? What was their name?

1:50:58 Lydia: We don't know, they're fallen. They fell a long time ago.

1:51:00 Fig: Do you have sort of a playful antagonism with Bakur? Sort of like, you know the TV show "Luther"?

1:51:05 Kristen: You think you could ask him?

1:51:05 Fig: You know Idris Elba and Ruth Wilson in "Luther"?

1:51:08 Adaine: Oh yeah.

1:51:09 Lydia: Yeah, it's not exactly like Ruth Wilson.

1:51:12 Riz: Stop bringing up "Luther"!

1:51:17 Fig: Can you communicate with Bakur in any capacity? Can you intimidate Bakur into giving you a name or anything like that?

1:51:24 Lydia: I know that Bakur is not allowed to even say the name.

1:51:27 Fig: Ah.

1:51:29 Lydia: Listen, the sorcerer and the cleric that I traveled with in my party knew a lot about this kind of stuff, and I'm afraid that I ended up being the one who had to tie up all the loose ends, but it was not my bag, necessarily.

1:51:42 Kristen: What was the cleric's name?

1:51:42 Lydia: Well...

1:51:45 Brennan: And here, all the talk about being personal, you see that she gets emotional. She says,

1:51:50 Lydia: Cormyr and Rana were my two... Were my friends. Rana was a cleric of Osmir, who's a god of magic and secrets. Bakur could say the name of the god, but they could only say the name in certain instances or types of ways. And it had to do with the fact that gods... There's rules against loopholes, if that makes sense. That's one of the things that Bakur couldn't talk- Because the god was dead, Bakur can't talk about them, right, or something like that.

1:52:27 Fig: Like if Bakur was to talk about them, then it would be resuscitating to the god?

1:52:32 Lydia: That's the idea, right?

1:52:32 Fig: Like what happened with the—

1:52:36 Riz: Yeah, the Night Yorb.

1:52:36 Gorgug: But if the god's not dead—

1:52:38 Lydia: The way that Rana explained it was like, when a god dies, the rules change for a lot of non-mortal beings. If mortals choose to start worshiping them again, that can happen. I don't know—

1:52:52 Adaine: Sure, they're not necessarily dead forever.

1:52:54 Lydia: Well, and mortals aren't either, right? You brought yourself back from the dead, right? People have come back from the dead but, you know, it's a state of being. This is interesting. Riz, this feels really connected. The thing, when you said that Cassandra said something about, "I thought you were dead," the really messed up thing about that to me was that Bakur was trying to bring the god back from the dead. That was the whole thing we were trying to stop.

1:53:23 Kristen: And it was in the Red Waste?

1:53:24 Lydia: It was in the Red Waste, and that's actually what fucked up Bakur's plan. Cormyr told me that before he died. The reason it didn't work and we were able to stop him was because he actually needed a place... A god could only come back in a place where a god had been born or created.

1:53:44 Adaine: Oh, like in the Astral Plane?

1:53:45 Lydia: I don't know, maybe. But he picked a bad spot, essentially. He thought he needed to be on the Mortal Plane, and I think he was like, "God are created in Spyre all the time." But it's way more specific.

1:53:56 Adaine: Sure.

1:53:57 Lydia: He was like, "I'll go to Spyre and do the ritual."

1:53:59 Adaine: He needed to go to the god baby hospital, and he just did it out on the street.

1:54:03 Lydia: Yeah, he was like, "Well, I'm in the same world as the god baby hospital," and it was like, no, you gotta get a little closer than that.

1:54:11 Gorgug: What did the ritual require?

1:54:12 Lydia: There was a bunch of stuff. I have some stuff stashed away, I can go look for stuff and go through my old—

1:54:22 Fig: I think that'd be really helpful, if you didn't mind.

1:54:25 Lydia: Yeah, you know what's probably gonna be more help— Rana and Cormyr's stuff went to their family. I can go talk to their family and try to get some of their notes.

1:54:34 Brennan: You see she looks over and says,

1:54:35 Lydia: Ragh, tryouts are in Bastion City, right? We can go down there and see Cormyr's family. Maybe Rana's family can come down. I'll get some stuff together. It might take a minute, 'cause I haven't talked to them in a long time but, you know.

1:54:47 Adaine: Thank you.

1:54:47 Lydia: I hope—

1:54:49 Adaine: And these chicken parms are so good.

1:54:51 Gorgug: Can I get your recipe for 36 chicken parms?

1:54:54 Fabian: Yeah, this is great.

1:54:54 Lydia: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. The trick is, the marinara's gotta be thick. It's gotta be really thick. Nobody wants a wet, slimy chicken parm.

1:55:00 Gorgug: You know, I like a wet parm.

1:55:06 Adaine: It's saucy but crispy at the same time.

1:55:09 Lydia: A little bit of char on the breadcrumbs on the outside.

1:55:13 Brennan: You see she smiles and says,

1:55:15 Lydia: This is gonna be a crazy year for you guys. I hope you're not trying to save the world again, are you?

1:55:19 Adaine: Trying?

1:55:20 Fig: No, we're just trying to get Kristen elected president.

1:55:23 Fabian: That's really kind of our thing.

1:55:24 Gorgug: Really the only thing we're trying to do right now.

1:55:25 Adaine: I got a job and now I owe them money.

1:55:27 Riz: We're actually trying to do a lot of stuff.

1:55:29 Brennan: Lydia smiles and says,

1:55:29 Lydia: I'll reach out to them and see if they're okay meeting up, okay?

1:55:34 Kristen: Thank you so much.

1:55:34 Riz: Great, we appreciate it.

1:55:35 Brennan: With that, you guys sort of recover that weekend, full of chicken parms, and we are going to move into our downtime section. I wanna let you guys know about how we're gonna be running downtime.

1:55:51 Ally: Okay.

1:55:52 Brennan: This is as you get ready to track down the mystery, Lucy Frostblade, the pit fiend Bakur, the Rat Grinders, Cassandra's death, Kalina saying Ragh Barkrock, all of this stuff. You guys have a lot on your plate, and we'll be resolving those with a series of rolls. The first roll you make during downtime is a DC 5, the second one is a DC 10, and it goes up by 5 every time, and the various tracks that you are rolling are academics, popularity—

1:56:29 Ally: Oh!

1:56:32 Brennan: Money, extracurricular, and relationships. We'll go over the mechanics more, but all you need to know is, a lot of rolls are coming up for you to pass grades, work part-time jobs, keep your relationships and friendships intact, stay popular, solve this mystery, and get paid. But if you fail any of the rolls, you don't have to worry, because... You can always take a stress token. And that's all for this episode on "Dimension 20". Tune in next week as we get into the thick of junior year. NEXT EPISODE - Episode 7: Stress Tested [Next Time On Dimension 20]

1:57:13 Siobhan: Somebody's gotta look into the mystery around here!

1:57:16 Brennan: What better note to engage in our very first downtime?

1:57:19 Lou: Popularity, baby.

1:57:21 Zac: I think I'll do artificer.

1:57:23 Murph: Any kind of athletic team that will take me.

1:57:28 Emily: Oh my god!

1:57:31 Siobhan: To investigate the broken Cloud Rider.

1:57:33 Lou: I'm not sure Mazey could help me with my roll on bard classes. Murph raises his eyebrows.

1:57:38 Brennan: Yes! Oh my god!

1:57:41 Murph: I wanna look into Bakur.

1:57:43 Ally: [smiling] What if I did popularity first, for the campaign?

1:57:46 Emily: Look into Lucy Frostblade.

1:57:46 Brennan: Go for it.

1:57:53 Ally: Fuck!

1:57:53 Murph: Wait! [Zac croaks]

1:57:54 Brennan: This episode's off to a rocky start, gang.

1:57:57 Lou: What?

1:57:57 Siobhan: Oh my god!

1:58:00 Fabian: Gorgug, pick it up! Pick it up out there, Gorgug!

1:58:03 Brennan: First stress token.

1:58:06 Emily: Wait, fuck, I had a whole other plan.

1:58:09 Brennan: You could take a stress.

1:58:10 Siobhan: I would like to make a second job check. I'm my own toxic boss.

1:58:16 Zac: I'll take one stress token.

1:58:17 Lou: Stress.

1:58:17 Ally: Cassandra!

1:58:19 Kipperlily: Your goddess passed? How can you cast spells?

1:58:22 Emily: I'll take a stress. I'm gonna take a stress.

1:58:24 Murph: Yeah, Riz is going to the old conspiracy board.

1:58:25 Emily: Socially, I would like to disappear.

1:58:28 Brennan: Here we go, here's our stress. Holy shit.

1:58:32 Murph: We got this!

1:58:33 Brennan: That's D&D, baby! We're playing the game!

1:58:35 Zac: School's easy.

1:58:35 Captions Extracted by: cesca w

1:58:35 Edited by: OliverC, gluegunshots