Mall Madness

0:00:19 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 5: Mall Madness < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] >

0:00:34 Content Warning: Underage Drinking/Drug Use, Self-Induced Vomiting [Intro Theme]

0:00:49 Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome back to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year." I am your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our Intrepid Heroes. Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:00:58 Players: Hi, Intrepid Heroes! [pause]

0:01:04 Brennan: There was no after bit?

0:01:04 Lou: No.

0:01:07 Zac: We're ready to fucking-

0:01:08 Siobhan: We're ready to fight, Brennan!

0:01:09 Brennan: We're ready to fucking fight, dude.

0:01:11 Murph: Turn on the lights or whatever.

0:01:13 Siobhan: Turn on the music. Let us fight.

0:01:15 Brennan: Fight, you fucking will. [upbeat music plays] That's right, last we left off, our Intrepid Heroes, after a stressful first week of junior year setting up after defeating the Night Yorb and sealing it in the top of Gorgug's van, got back to school. New principal, Grix, the warforged interim backup emergency principal dedicated to perfect order, and a new adventuring party, junior year, who I guess flew under the radar, because all they've been doing for 2 1/2 years is stomping rats. The Rat Grinders. However, all is not lost. Our Intrepid Heroes came together to support a new candidate for student body president. With campaign manager, secret service, and party aficionado at Kristen Applebees' back, can she lose? She's not gonna let a buzzsaw to the head stop her.

0:02:10 Emily: Can she even run?

0:02:10 Brennan: Can she even run? Lots of exciting things happened. Some other members of the party were a little bit more stressed. Adaine Abernant, with a whole passel of junior year wizard things to buy, got a part time job at Oodles of Strudel. And you can see her and Boggy in their paper hats behind the counter selling strudel from an unexplained portal. And our friend Gorgug has shown up with a 400 percent course load with the athletic requirements of the Owlbears. But he's got some help. His mechanical bird, Cloaca!

0:02:44 Zac: Get out of here.

0:02:46 Siobhan: Let's see her. We wanna see her.

0:02:48 Brennan: Cloaca's at the base of Gorgug right here.

0:02:50 Ally: Oh my god, she's huge!

0:02:50 Siobhan: She's so big.

0:02:52 Brennan: Absolutely enormous.

0:02:52 Emily: Oh my goodness!

0:02:54 Brennan: Like some kind of archaeopteryx kind of thing.

0:02:57 Siobhan: Amazing.

0:02:57 Brennan: Well, listen. With all of the stresses of the campaign, [music turns tense] the prioritization of Kristen's divinity, the goddess Cassandra of mystery and the night and doubt, was pamphleting here with her newly restored familiar, Kalina, who you can all see not very far away from you down here at the base. The Shadow Cat returns. However, with some rage at having been maybe deprioritized or just sidelined by her one and only cleric and prophet, Kristen Applebees, Cassandra, having been pamphleting by the exit of the escalator- You can see that's sort of a good place to pamphlet, right? You're getting a lot of traffic and cross through there. You get them from here. Get them going up, you know?

0:03:40 Emily: I like her shorts.

0:03:40 Siobhan: Yeah, they're fun.

0:03:43 Brennan: She's got good shorts. Cassandra has grown a little bit in size. Heart rending. All of you appear here on the battlefield in the brand new wizard synod mall. [kitschy mall muzak]

0:04:18 Brennan: And as we appear at the mall-

0:04:21 Zac: Whoa!

0:04:21 Emily: There it goes!

0:04:23 Lou: There it is.

0:04:23 Siobhan: Bloodbath and Beyond?

0:04:24 Emily: That's what we were asking for.

0:04:25 Ally: That's so sick.

0:04:26 Brennan: Glowing astral energy.

0:04:26 Lou: Gorgeous.

0:04:28 Brennan: We also see an intersecting, multidimensional clock swirling with chiming glass as the different clock faces interface and realign. We see, appearing before Cassandra, emerging from her chest, a glittering, bright red, spiny, sharp, swirling spell effect, raw wild magic, something emerging from her that rushes over here and disappears into this mage, and he erupts.

0:04:47 Mage: [roars]

0:05:06 Murph: Oh shit!

0:05:06 Ally: Wow, so jacked.

0:05:07 Emily: Oh my god, protein.

0:05:09 Siobhan: Look at the size of that lad.

0:05:10 Lou: Is that Zangief from "Street Fighter"?

0:05:15 Ally: Can that happen to this one? I really wanna see what happens.

0:05:18 Murph: That dude's already so big.

0:05:19 Siobhan: Damn, he's fucking vascular already.

0:05:22 Brennan: A second appears. He rushes over here. Kills the mage in front of him.

0:05:25 Siobhan: What?

0:05:28 Emily: What?

0:05:28 Brennan: Dead. That mage is dead.

0:05:29 Emily: Just with a punch?

0:05:30 Brennan: Yes. Raises up a massive fist and crushes the skull, teeth scattered across the astral floor. Instantly visibly dead on contact.

0:05:39 Emily: Someone grab those teeth.

0:05:40 Brennan: This centaur rushes to stop him, and as he does so, another manifests.

0:05:48 Siobhan: Oh shit.

0:05:48 Brennan: Touching that centaur. That centaur vanishes, replaced by this centaur.

0:05:50 Emily: Whoa!

0:05:54 Ally: Oh my god.

0:05:54 Siobhan: Can I get hit by the red thing? That sounds really good.

0:05:58 Lou: Hey, before y'all stop this, let me get a red thing real quick.

0:06:01 Emily: Don't spoil it, but do we have buff versions of us behind the thing? Answer yes or no.

0:06:06 Brennan: How would I do that without- but without spoiling, how would I...?

0:06:10 Siobhan: Just answer yes or no, Brennan! It's very simple.

0:06:13 Brennan: I don’t know, it's spicy tonight in the dome, folks. I'm in big trouble.

0:06:18 Ally: It is late at night in a warehouse in Hollywood, and we just got here.

0:06:21 Brennan: We just got here!

0:06:23 Ally: We arrived at 4 a.m.

0:06:25 Siobhan: They ripped us out of our beds, rolled us into a black car.

0:06:29 Brennan: We are going to enter initiative order. Adaine Abernant, you are first to act. You are behind the counter of Oodles of Strudel.

0:06:36 Siobhan: Can I do a quick little Arcana check to see if I can understand anything that's going on in front of us?

0:06:43 Brennan: Yes, you can.

0:06:43 Siobhan: Great. [squeaks] That's a 17.

0:06:49 Brennan: 17 is enough to give you some information, but I'm gonna need a point of focus for you. What are you trying to glean?

0:06:55 Siobhan: I want to understand what those floating red things are.

0:06:58 Brennan: On a 17 Arcana, you identify the school of magic as enchantment.

0:07:04 Siobhan: Okay. Can I jump over the counter of Oodles of Strudel, grab Kristen, and Dimension Door over to Cassandra?

0:07:16 Brennan: Yes, you can.

0:07:16 Siobhan: Great.

0:07:17 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a DC 5 Acrobatics.

0:07:20 Lou: Hey, you got this.

0:07:22 Siobhan: I got this!

0:07:23 Brennan: Hell yes. Adaine, you–

0:07:26 Siobhan: I got an eight. I got this. It's not dignified, but it is done.

0:07:32 Brennan: Adaine, with a little paper hat, the Elven Oracle vanishes. Where would you like to place both yourself and Kristen in this moment? You have to be adjacent to each other, but you can go anywhere you want.

0:07:42 Siobhan: Yes, where you're placing us is good. Between Cassandra and these people.

0:07:45 Lou: Great hat.

0:07:45 Brennan: Okay.

0:07:46 Siobhan: It's great. I'm thrilled.

0:07:46 Brennan: So that's your action. Any bonus action from Adaine?

0:07:48 Siobhan: No.

0:07:51 Brennan: You grab your friend. As you appear, all of you can look up and see, you were watching people roll up to the party at Seacaster Manor, and are suddenly in the mall. Kristen, Cassandra turns to you, growing slightly taller, the red in her chest thrumming. She looks at you.

0:08:10 Cassandra: I don't feel good. I don't feel good about what you've done. I'm not happy, Kristen! Kristen nods.

0:08:21 Ally: Great. Me as a partner. Interesting.

0:08:23 Emily: I was gonna say, this is deadbeat partner energy.

0:08:27 Siobhan: Can I bonus action Dimension Door away from the mall, not be here for this interaction?

0:08:32 Brennan: A giant craps table and a huge thing of emotional chips just all going onto "ride it out." All onto, so this is sort of a time thing.

0:08:43 Lou: It's gonna end. It's gonna end.

0:08:46 Brennan: Incredible. Any actions from Boggy?

0:08:48 Siobhan: Boggy will give Kristen the Help action.

0:08:50 Brennan: Okay, awesome.

0:08:53 Lou: She's gonna need it!

0:08:56 Ally: [laughs] Does Boggy kiss me?

0:08:57 Siobhan: Boggy gives you a little wet kiss.

0:09:00 Lou: Holy–

0:09:00 Emily: In front of Cassandra?

0:09:01 Siobhan: You get a little green kiss mark on your face.

0:09:03 Brennan: Cassandra turns to face Kristen. I'm gonna need Kristen to make a Wisdom saving throw.

0:09:08 Lou: You got this.

0:09:09 Ally: 18.

0:09:11 Brennan: Wisdom saving throw is 18? On the die? With all factors in?

0:09:15 Ally: Yeah.

0:09:16 Brennan: She casts Hold Monster on you.

0:09:20 Emily: Can I Counterspell it?

0:09:20 Brennan: Let me see if you can.

0:09:22 Ally: She's just trying to be insulting, honestly.

0:09:25 Brennan: Holy shit, exactly 60 feet.

0:09:25 Murph: Nice.

0:09:28 Emily: I think Hold Monster is 5th level, and I don't have a 5th level spell, so I'm gonna have to do it at 3rd and try to roll for it.

0:09:36 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it. It's gonna be DC 15.

0:09:38 Murph: You got it.

0:09:41 Emily: Yeah, baby! Yes!

0:09:41 Ally: Yes! Thank you!

0:09:43 Emily: You do not go after my fucking president! Security detail showing up!

0:09:48 Ally: I was going, security! Security!

0:09:50 Zac: Fig jumps in front of it.

0:09:50 Brennan: Honestly, as you do that, Fig, go ahead and add a gleaming astral surveillance earpiece to your inventory.

0:09:57 Murph: Oh shit!

0:09:59 Lou: There it is. Security is on duty.

0:10:00 Siobhan: You manifested it.

0:10:01 Brennan: Cassandra wheels around as you... What is it visibly? What's the expression of magic as you snatch a goddess' spell out of the air?

0:10:10 Emily: I think it really is- like I, for a moment, look like I'm in "Men in Black" and I'm wearing a little- I think for a blip, I'm wearing a security business suit. I think normally, though, it's just like a fire burns their spell out of their hand, though. So that also happens, but I just really wanna be security detail.

0:10:30 Ally: A dog comes up and goes, chomp! [makes a chomping noise]

0:10:35 Siobhan: Does that count as her casting a spell next to me?

0:10:38 Brennan: It does count as her casting a spell next to you.

0:10:40 Adaine: Do you want me to hit her?

0:10:43 Kristen: I don't think she's being herself right now. Don't kill her.

0:10:46 Adaine: Okay, yeah. I definitely can't. I definitely can't kill a god in one hit. Do you want me to hit her?

0:10:51 Kristen: Wait, you mean just hit her hit her?

0:10:53 Adaine: I can hit her right now.

0:10:53 Kristen: Like with your hand?

0:10:55 Adaine: No, with my sword!

0:10:55 Kristen: No!

0:10:57 Adaine: Okay, then I won't do it!

0:10:57 Kristen: Oh my god.

0:11:01 Brennan: A very significant d4 roll. That's a one. Very, very good.

0:11:07 Murph: Okay.

0:11:07 Lou: Okay?

0:11:09 Siobhan: I love when he rolls in front of the board.

0:11:10 Murph: Don't spoil it, tell us yes or no if one is good or bad.

0:11:12 Lou: No spoilers!

0:11:13 Murph: No spoilers! Don't tell us, though!

0:11:14 Siobhan: No spoilers, just tell us exactly what it is.

0:11:16 Emily: No spoilers, but show us the buff versions of our minis.

0:11:20 Lou: I think it's the direction it goes in, maybe? So one is maybe not directly into Kristen.

0:11:26 Siobhan: Or maybe one is directly into Kristen. We'll see.

0:11:29 Brennan: As you're like, even just a look of, "Do you want me to hit her?" Cassandra looks at you, having swatted the spell out, and having you just offer that goes,

0:11:38 Cassandra: You would strike me? You've struck me before, haven't you?

0:11:42 Brennan: There is a flash of a skull underneath her face. Three of these appear.

0:11:46 Ally: Three?!

0:11:49 Siobhan: Oh shit.

0:11:50 Brennan: She screams. Indigo blood pours down the front of her T-shirt, into her jean shorts. You can see they burst, shredding through her skin out of the hole in her chest.

0:12:01 Siobhan: Can I Counterspell whatever just happened?

0:12:03 Brennan: Well, whatever's happening here, you know it's raw magic, but it's not in spell form. It's like a creature using a magical ability, right, a magical effect. So I am going to need Adaine to give me a Charisma saving throw.

0:12:21 Adaine: But I'm so good at those. Oh, thank goodness. That's a 22.

0:12:27 Brennan: One of these sort of shittering– chittering–

0:12:30 Emily: Shittering?

0:12:31 Brennan: Shittering. It's shittering everywhere. One of these slicing, breaking, shattering things tries to charge you, and you can feel it hit the front of your chest. You're sort of bracing for the shards of the glass, but at the last second it opens and exposes this raw, red, thrumming core. And you close your eyes, put a hand over your mouth, and you feel a blast of hot- it's not fire, but it's almost like if heat waves could be tangible, over your face and mouth. These other two fly up here.

0:13:18 Ally: The girlies! Hey, girlies! Hey! Don't move, girlies!

0:13:23 Siobhan: When did this become your catchphrase?

0:13:25 Lou: Is this a zeitgeist thing?

0:13:25 Siobhan: No, absolutely not.

0:13:29 Ally: I got a dog, and this is the way I talk to my dog.

0:13:31 Lou: Got it.

0:13:32 Emily: If it's a zeitgeist thing, it's from the 90s. That's what Beardsley does.

0:13:36 Brennan: You see the two wizards up at the front are like,

0:13:40 Wizards: [Valley Girl accent] Yeah, so we're gonna get picked up out of here and go back to the sanctum sanctorum later.

0:13:45 Brennan: You see that both of the things, they go,

0:13:46 Wizards: What the frick? [screams]

0:13:49 Brennan: Each of them goes... [roars] Shreds out, blood, veins exposed on massive arms.

0:13:52 Ally: Oh my god.

0:13:57 Brennan: Screaming bloody murder, and these two disappear.

0:14:01 Ally: Wow, they're so buff.

0:14:03 Lou: Murph, is this a tag team for the WWE?

0:14:06 Emily: Yeah!

0:14:06 Siobhan: So cool. I can only see the back of them, and I'm already like, wow.

0:14:09 Lou: I can't wait till they start murdering innocents.

0:14:11 Brennan: Fabian Aramais Seacaster.

0:14:11 Lou: Great.

0:14:16 Fabian: The Ball, what do we have to do? We have to get the fuck out of here! We have to get back to the party! The party's about to start! [Riz whimpering uncertainly]

0:14:24 Fabian: Jesus!

0:14:25 Riz: Attack one of the big guys? I don't know!

0:14:27 Fabian: I guess, yes!

0:14:28 Riz: It's our only chance of getting back to the party.

0:14:30 Lou: Can I make a Perception check on these big guys? Maybe, I guess, an Insight check.

0:14:35 Brennan: Make an Insight check.

0:14:37 Lou: Are they just killing to kill? [die rolling] Insight is a 17. Do I think those two dudes are about to fight each other? Are they just gonna start killing other people?

0:14:49 Brennan: It looks totally indiscriminate right now, but I think on a 17 Insight, call it some sneaking swashbuckling sensation that the other shoe has not dropped yet. There is something where you're like, this is chaos right now that is very soon about to roil into some form of order for you to understand.

0:15:11 Lou: Got it.

0:15:13 Fabian: I think things are about to get a lot worse!

0:15:15 Riz: Okay?

0:15:15 Fabian: Just be on your guard, and please, let's finish this now, all right? There's a pool full of tartar sauce!

0:15:23 Riz: We still have time to jump the shrimp.

0:15:24 Fig: Everyone, keep an eye out for cool party drugs, 'cause we could use that as an excuse for why we came here to begin with and why we're late.

0:15:31 Gorgug: Got it!

0:15:33 Brennan: Anyone involved in that conversation, give me a Perception check. [dice rolling]

0:15:37 Murph: 16.

0:15:37 Lou: 11.

0:15:39 Emily: Nine.

0:15:39 Brennan: Nine, cool. On a 16, Riz, as you start being like, "We need to get back in time," you look up at the shifting clock faces here in the astral clock. What time do you think you told people to roll up to the party?

0:15:52 Lou: 9:30.

0:15:53 Brennan: You see it's about 10:12, and there's a bunch of kids outside of the locked doors of Seacaster Manor all sort of like... You see someone say,

0:16:03 Someone: Let's do my house!

0:16:06 Fabian: Hangman, Hangman!

0:16:09 Hangman: Sire, yes!

0:16:10 Fabian: I need you to drive straight through the doors of Seacaster Manor right now.

0:16:13 Hangman: Sire, I would love nothing more!

0:16:16 Fabian: And then find Ragh.

0:16:16 Brennan: Find Ragh. Okay, awesome.

0:16:19 Fig: Do you guys think if we turned the clock back, that we could get back earlier?

0:16:23 Fabian: Shit, I'll give it a shot.

0:16:25 Lou: All right, I'm gonna cast Kinetic Jaunt on myself. You see Fabian just start doing hot steps as I start to run toward the centaur man.

0:16:36 Emily: Hot steps?

0:16:36 Zac: I love being just like, dancing a little upset.

0:16:39 Lou: Yeah.

0:16:39 Fabian: Just fucking come on!

0:16:39 Murph: So mad.

0:16:40 Fabian: I swear to god, that tartar sauce! We got the shrimp costume on the Hangman just right!

0:16:48 Murph: Oh yeah, a giant shrimp motorcycle is gonna burst through the door.

0:16:51 Siobhan: I mean, that's pretty legendary.

0:16:53 Lou: That's pretty legendary.

0:16:53 Brennan: Okay.

0:16:55 Fabian: Somebody said, "My house?" No, no, no. We have to get back.

0:17:00 Brennan: Incredible. Kinetic Jaunt. Where are you headed to?

0:17:02 Lou: The centaur man.

0:17:04 Brennan: The centaur man, okay. What's your movement?

0:17:06 Lou: My movement has been bumped by 10 for a total of 40. The battle sheet comes out.

0:17:10 Emily: Ooh!

0:17:12 Brennan: Hell yeah. You're right there, man. Go for it.

0:17:14 Lou: Great, I'm gonna swing on the centaur man.

0:17:17 Brennan: Go for it. [die rolling]

0:17:19 Lou: Does a 18 hit?

0:17:22 Brennan: 18 hits.

0:17:23 Lou: Great, I'm gonna make it a Goading Attack, so that is a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw. I'm also gonna make it a Defensive Flourish Attack, so that d6 will get added to my... [sighs] That d6 will get added to my defense, or my AC, and then I'll burn a 1st level spell slot with Fandrangor and then the classic d8 just for the thing. Hell yes. Okay, my AC goes up to 25.

0:17:40 Siobhan: Oh my god.

0:17:57 Zac: Wow!

0:17:58 Emily: Yeah!

0:17:59 Ally: Nice!

0:17:59 Brennan: Fabian!

0:18:00 Lou: We're gonna do 8, Do you need to know if any of it is radiant?

0:18:12 Brennan: No, I do not.

0:18:12 Lou: Great.

0:18:13 Brennan: 22?

0:18:14 Lou: 22, and if he fails the Wisdom saving throw, then he has disadvantage on all attacks against anyone but me.

0:18:20 Brennan: What's the DC on that?

0:18:20 Lou: 17.

0:18:21 Brennan: He succeeds on the saving throw.

0:18:22 Lou: Great, I'm then gonna... Can you use two battle maneuvers in a single turn?

0:18:26 Brennan: I think it's one per attack.

0:18:26 Emily: I think it's...

0:18:27 Brennan: One per attack.

0:18:27 Lou: One per attack. Okay, great. So, Kinetic Jaunt allows me to move through opponents' spaces.

0:18:32 Brennan: Woo!

0:18:33 Lou: So I'm gonna dance in between his legs, doing a couple of "Ocean's 12”-level capoeira moves.

0:18:39 Zac: That is so, so dangerous.

0:18:42 Lou: As I go through his legs-

0:18:42 Zac: Going under a horse?

0:18:44 Lou: How much movement did I use to get there?

0:18:46 Brennan: You used 35.

0:18:46 Lou: 35, so I now have-

0:18:50 Emily: You get 10 extra, I think.

0:18:50 Lou: I get 10 extra on the attack plus the 10, so I think I have 25, or no, I used 35, so I have 15 left?

0:18:58 Brennan: 15 left.

0:18:58 Lou: Great, I'd like to move to attack the other guy.

0:19:03 Brennan: Look at this motherfucker. All right.

0:19:05 Lou: Great, and we'll swing on him.

0:19:07 Brennan: Cool.

0:19:07 Ally: Oh my god!

0:19:08 Lou: The other guy. [die rolling] Does a 28 hit?

0:19:10 Brennan: Yes, it does.

0:19:12 Lou: Great, we'll make another Goading Attack. DC 17 Wisdom saving throw. Attack. Classic Fandrangor. Bad! Five, seven, eight. to this other Zangief-looking motherfucker.

0:19:31 Brennan: Any maneuvers that he has to react to?

0:19:34 Lou: A DC 17 Wisdom saving throw.

0:19:37 Brennan: That is a failure.

0:19:37 Lou: Great. They have disadvantage on attacks against anyone but me.

0:19:42 Emily: And your AC is 25!

0:19:42 Lou: My AC is 25.

0:19:45 Murph: That's so sick.

0:19:45 Zac: Wow.

0:19:46 Emily: [applauds] I'm gonna hope you have a shield...

0:19:50 Lou: I'm gonna do a backflip onto... I have like five feet of movement left, I think, so I'll just do a backflip onto that table behind me. You want an Acrobatics check, or what?

0:20:03 Brennan: You wanna jump on a table?

0:20:04 Lou: I wanna jump on a table. It's a new year, baby.

0:20:08 Brennan: Okay, it's a DC 5 Acrobatics.

0:20:11 Emily: I think this is coming. I think this is good.

0:20:13 Zac: Don't use that—

0:20:13 Lou: Hey, I'm gonna use this one.

0:20:15 Brennan: If you hit a nat 20... We're gonna Box of Doom it. [players laughing]

0:20:21 Brennan: This is the first DC 5 check ever in the Box of Doom. If you hit a nat 20, I will never make Fabian roll to jump on any furniture ever again.

0:20:32 Emily: [claps] Ooh!

0:20:33 Lou: I will always, eternally be able to jump on furniture?

0:20:36 Brennan: With no roll. If it's a fucking 20 mile sofa, you can get to the top.

0:20:41 Lou: This is Acrobatics?

0:20:42 Brennan: Acrobatics, and a nat 20 is what it takes.

0:20:44 Zac: The stakes have never been higher.

0:20:47 Ally: Oh, get the bad ones out. Emily, Zac, and Siobhan stand with Lou to see what he rolls. Lou blows on his d20.

0:20:52 Ally: This never hurt us.

0:20:52 Lou: This is huge!

0:20:54 Brennan: Huge. Absolutely huge.

0:20:58 Lou: Okay, it's just a 13.

0:20:58 Emily: Okay, but you make it!

0:21:00 Brennan: 13. That's good, that's good.

0:21:01 Siobhan: You did make it.

0:21:01 Brennan: Love it. Okay. You backflip onto the table. Incredible turn from Fabian. Any bonus actions?

0:21:08 Lou: Kinetic Jump was the bonus action.

0:21:10 Brennan: All of you watch Fabian surge forward, sliding under the centaur's legs and slashing with magical energy across Fandrangor. Your battle sheet is twirling around you, providing an insane level of magical protection as you flip through the air, scoring across the throat of the other sort of enraged spellcaster to leap to the top of the table. That is Fabian Aramais Seacaster's turn. Kalina is going to, is going to clear in behind Cassandra and cast a spell and vanish. Disappear.

0:21:45 Ally: Do we know what?

0:21:46 Brennan: You can make an Arcana check.

0:21:47 Ally: I would love to. Bumping around. That's just a 10.

0:21:53 Siobhan: I got a 23 Arcana.

0:21:53 Brennan: You would bet dollars... Well, also, you have the Sword of Sight in your hand, so you see she's still standing there.

0:21:59 Siobhan: Oh, so she's invisible.

0:21:59 Brennan: She's invisible.

0:22:00 Siobhan: I mean, I also have See Invisibility on at all times.

0:22:03 Brennan: Cool.

0:22:03 Siobhan: 'Cause of Divination.

0:22:04 Ally: Oh!

0:22:04 Brennan: Yep, cool.

0:22:05 Siobhan: So I can just see her.

0:22:06 Brennan: Yeah, you see her standing there invisibly. Gimme an Insight check, if you can still see her.

0:22:10 Ally: Yes, please!

0:22:10 Siobhan: Yep.

0:22:11 Lou: Would love to know what the plan is.

0:22:14 Siobhan: I mean, that's an 11.

0:22:14 Brennan: Yeah. Her face is obscured in shadow, so it's hard to read an expression right now.

0:22:19 Adaine: [waves her hand] You good?

0:22:19 Brennan: But you can see, eyes very, very wide and slitted.

0:22:23 Adaine: You're bad.

0:22:23 Brennan: Narrow, narrow eyes.

0:22:25 Siobhan: What's her tail doing?

0:22:27 Brennan: Tail is twitching from the very base.

0:22:29 Siobhan: Okay.

0:22:29 Adaine: [to Kristen] Kalina's stressed out.

0:22:32 Kristen: Does she need scratchies?

0:22:32 Zac: Ooh, you don't got cats. [Emily laughs]

0:22:35 Adaine: I think we're beyond scratchies.

0:22:38 Brennan: Riz Gukgak, that is your turn.

0:22:39 Ally: A little scratchy, right?

0:22:39 Murph: Okay, so I don't have much movement here. So 5, 10, 15, 20, so I'll get to this table.

0:22:45 Brennan: Cool.

0:22:46 Murph: From here, can I see this little tag team up here?

0:22:49 Brennan: You can see them. They have half cover, but you can see them.

0:22:51 Murph: Got it, okay. I would like to hide as a bonus action. So I'll do Stealth. Nat 20. [players cheering]

0:23:01 Murph: [self-effacing laugh] Anticlimactic nat 20, just so good at hiding under this table.

0:23:04 Fabian: The Ball, where'd you go?

0:23:05 Kristen: Oh my god, he went back to the party!

0:23:05 Riz: Ha ha!

0:23:07 Brennan: And then I'm gonna cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on the purple one here, and they have disadvantage. Because I'm a Arcane Trickster, they have disadvantage on saving throws if I'm hidden.

0:23:21 Brennan: Hell yes. So you are hidden, that is disadvantage, and they're rolling a Wisdom saving throw.

0:23:27 Murph: Correct.

0:23:28 Brennan: And your DC here is 15. With disadvantage, that's a natural one. Ally/Murph: Nice!

0:23:35 Brennan: What is the language of Tasha's Hideous Laughter?

0:23:37 Murph: A creature of your choice that you can see within range, which is– ooh fuck, range is only 30 feet. I don't think I got 30 feet.

0:23:44 Brennan: Okay, you could dash, but–

0:23:47 Murph: Then I wouldn't be able to cast it. Well, I mean, what would the direct line be?

0:23:51 Emily: That might be 30 feet.

0:23:51 Murph: It might be 30 feet. 'Cause I can get a little closer, too.

0:23:54 Brennan: Let's find out.

0:23:54 Murph: I think I only used like 20 feet to move.

0:23:56 Emily: Yeah, you didn't use all of it.

0:23:57 Brennan: About 50 feet right there. So you started here. So you could go— if you went 5, 10, 15, 20, 25—

0:24:04 Murph: And then hid at that one. Where does that get me?

0:24:08 Brennan: Still not 30. You would have to probably... So you're here. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

0:24:18 Murph: Okay.

0:24:19 Brennan: And 30 does it. Right there.

0:24:19 Emily: Yeah, okay!

0:24:22 Murph: Perfect, okay, so yes, so “a creature you can see falls into fits of laughter. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or fall prone, becoming incapacitated and unable to stand up for the duration. At the end of each of its turns and each time it takes damage, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. The target has advantage on the saving throw if it's triggered by damage.

0:24:42 Brennan: Okay.

0:24:42 Murph: So, no one attack!

0:24:44 Brennan: Okay, so this one right here goes... [roaring and laughing] [mimics thudding blows] And just starts punching herself hard in the face.

0:24:54 Murph: I'm doing a funny dance, but really upset.

0:24:57 Brennan: She's like,

0:24:57 Enemy: Yeah! Good, good! Riz does a little dance while whimpering uncomfortably.

0:25:03 Gorgug: Now's not the time, Riz! Riz continues to floss very slowly while groaning.

0:25:07 Brennan: But you are out of hiding now, 'cause you cast the spell, correct?

0:25:10 Murph: Yeah.

0:25:10 Brennan: Cool, okay. Fabian, thinking of that other shoe dropping, you see this star over here. The star goes,

0:25:20 Star: [raspy inhale] Cassandra!

0:25:22 Brennan: And all, except for this one, all of these enraged wizards turn to Cassandra.

0:25:30 Siobhan: Oh shit.

0:25:31 Brennan: Charge. Attacks of opportunity. You have to pick which one you want it on. Riz, you get the centaur if you want the attack of opportunity.

0:25:37 Murph: Okay!

0:25:37 Brennan: Charging in.

0:25:38 Lou: Oh gosh, on Cassandra?

0:25:40 Brennan: On Cassandra.

0:25:40 Murph: Okay, yeah, I'll–

0:25:44 Lou: You take the centaur, I'll take–

0:25:46 Murph: Okay, great.

0:25:46 Fabian: You take the—

0:25:48 Riz: Maybe we both attack the centaur!

0:25:49 Fabian: All right, we'll double up!

0:25:49 Murph: Okay. Oh my god, I rolled so bad. Oh boy. Just a 12.

0:25:56 Lou: Another 18.

0:25:58 Brennan: You got an 18. 12 misses, 18 hits.

0:25:59 Murph: Oh wait, I have Bless.

0:25:59 Emily: Yes!

0:26:01 Murph: Is there any way—

0:26:01 Brennan: Oh yeah, go for it.

0:26:03 Murph: I rolled a one on the Bless. That's a 13.

0:26:05 Brennan: 13 does not hit.

0:26:05 Murph: Great.

0:26:06 Lou: I'll bang a 1st level spell. [Emily guffaws]

0:26:09 Lou: Throw that on the pile.

0:26:09 Murph: Excuse me?

0:26:10 Emily: Banging a 1st level spell?

0:26:12 Lou: I'm gonna bang a for, cha cha, 19.

0:26:18 Brennan: For 19, okay.

0:26:20 Ally: Nice.

0:26:22 Brennan: 19 damage, awesome.

0:26:24 Lou: Banged out that 1st level spell.

0:26:26 Brennan: Centaur, blood gushing out of his body, but so vital. It looks like– as you stab him, the blood sprays out like it is fucking pressurized in there. You would guess he has maybe 200 percent blood volume in his body right now. His veins are stuffed with blood as he charges forward.

0:26:49 Lou: Stuffed with blood?

0:26:49 Ally: Does his charge get stopped?

0:26:51 Brennan: No.

0:26:51 Ally: Because he took damage?

0:26:52 Brennan: Oh wait, you have Sentinel? No, you do not.

0:26:53 Lou: No, not anymore.

0:26:53 Brennan: Okay.

0:26:55 Zac: Their boners!

0:26:57 Emily: They're engorged!

0:26:59 Lou: They're engorged.

0:27:00 Siobhan: That horse penis is out.

0:27:04 Lou: They'll both have disadvantage on those attacks.

0:27:07 Brennan: Oh sorry, he made his save.

0:27:10 Lou: Oh, against me?

0:27:10 Brennan: And actually, sorry, I totally forgot that he failed his Goading Attack. He does not listen to the star.

0:27:17 Lou: Okay.

0:27:17 Brennan: He stays, to beat the shit out of you.

0:27:19 Lou: Oh!

0:27:20 Murph: Yay.

0:27:21 Murph: Still flossing. Yay! [all cheering unenthusiastically]

0:27:25 Fabian: The Ball, is the dancing part of your magic?

0:27:27 Riz: [indistinct]

0:27:29 Brennan: Your AC is 25 right now?

0:27:29 Lou: 25, yeah.

0:27:32 Murph: I just have a series of mirrors that reflect the flossing.

0:27:35 Ally: So we can all see it.

0:27:36 Murph: [sadly] So she can see it, so she keeps laughing.

0:27:42 Ally: [laughing] Wait, that just clicked for me. I didn't really know why you had added flossing to the equation, and now I'm like, I love it.

0:27:49 Lou: Wait, why did it get added?

0:27:49 Murph: It's making her laugh!

0:27:50 Ally: 'Cause it's making her laugh. She keeled over laughing—

0:27:53 Lou: Oh, got it.

0:27:53 Ally: ...'cause he's flossing.

0:27:54 Brennan: 36 damage to Fabian as the massive dude in front of—

0:27:58 Ally: 25 AC?

0:27:59 Brennan: Fabian, you watch as this creature in front of you, you don't have D&D mechanics in your character's brain, but you're like, he just made five attacks.

0:28:09 Emily: What?

0:28:09 Siobhan: Oh no!

0:28:11 Zac: And they hit the 25 AC?

0:28:11 Brennan: So he missed most of them.

0:28:12 Emily: Is that allowed? [Siobhan laughs]

0:28:14 Brennan: Yeah.

0:28:15 Lou: Is that allowed?

0:28:15 Murph: Can we run that back?

0:28:16 Ally: Can you check, though, really quick?

0:28:18 Siobhan: Ally's read the rule book now.

0:28:19 Ally: Yeah!

0:28:19 Zac: Can you check the internet?

0:28:20 Siobhan: They're pretty sure that that's not allowed.

0:28:22 Ally: I don't have that in any of my notes.

0:28:25 Lou: Great.

0:28:25 Ally: I'm sorry.

0:28:26 Fabian: Oh, god!

0:28:29 Riz: Fabian?

0:28:30 Fabian: I'm fine!

0:28:30 Lou: I'm not dancing anymore.

0:28:33 Brennan: The muscle mage who just jumped, I should say, the rage mage who just abandoned her sister to jump down next to Cassandra is going to use a Whirlwind Attack. I'm gonna need Kristen and Adaine to make Dexterity saving throws.

0:28:48 Emily: Oh brother.

0:28:50 Siobhan: 15?

0:28:53 Brennan: 15.

0:28:53 Lou: 15?

0:28:54 Brennan: 15, and you got?

0:28:56 Ally: An unnatural one.

0:28:58 Brennan: An unnatural one.

0:28:58 Emily: Oh, right! [laughs]

0:29:01 Zac: So you rolled, like, a seven minus six?

0:29:05 Ally: I rolled a 13, and it all went away. Wait, wait, wait! I can reroll. I have Human Determination, so I can reroll one.

0:29:15 Siobhan: Oh, great.

0:29:15 Ally: This feels important.

0:29:17 Siobhan: Did they have to do any roll?

0:29:19 Brennan: They're just using an ability that prompts a saving throw.

0:29:22 Ally: Do you have a good saving throw?

0:29:24 Siobhan: Why don't you roll and see, and if I need to use it, I'll use it on you?

0:29:30 Murph: Same roll.

0:29:30 Lou: Same roll!

0:29:31 Siobhan: Great, you get a 19.

0:29:31 Emily: Yes!

0:29:33 Siobhan: Actually, hang on a second. That's not gonna do it. 'Cause then it'll go down to 16. There's no way that 16 will do it.

0:29:38 Emily: No, it'll only go down by two. 17, right?

0:29:40 Siobhan: No, they have a minus three.

0:29:42 Emily: Did you get worse?

0:29:42 Zac: You might wanna save it.

0:29:44 Murph: Kristen have four Dexterity.

0:29:44 Ally: I need to emphasize the fact that I had never played D&D before when I made this character, and I'm stuck with her and her minus three to Dex! So what happens to me?

0:29:59 Brennan: You take 30 points of bludgeoning damage.

0:30:02 Ally: Incredible.

0:30:03 Brennan: Adaine takes 15 points of bludgeoning damage. You See Invisibility, even Kalina, invisible, catches 15 points of damage, and Cassandra takes a full 30 as this mage just takes her staff and so quick [roars] like someone freaking out and trying to tear their fucking home apart. You can see that her eyes are glowing red as she wails on everything, and she appears to have 10 feet of reach. She's holding the quarterstaff from the base. She's 7 1/2 feet tall now. She's grown. Her clothes are torn at the stitching as she's hulking out. The centaur is going to make five attacks against Cassandra.

0:30:45 Siobhan: Oh my god.

0:30:45 Ally: Jesus Christ. Does anyone have any reactions in the mix?

0:30:51 Emily: I used my reaction already.

0:30:53 Murph: I've got a Silvery Barbs, if you wanna... Shout out if—

0:30:56 Siobhan: If we need it?

0:30:58 Murph: When there's hits.

0:30:58 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:31:00 Lou: I'm useless.

0:31:02 Ally: No, you're not.

0:31:03 Lou: I'm useless!

0:31:03 Ally: No, you're not!

0:31:08 Emily: I realized that both of you guys are dancing.

0:31:09 Siobhan: I talk to you like that all the time.

0:31:10 Lou: Yeah, I know.

0:31:11 Brennan: Cassandra casts Shield as a reaction.

0:31:14 Murph: Okay.

0:31:14 Brennan: Okay. Three hits.

0:31:17 Murph: I'll Silvery Barbs one.

0:31:17 Brennan: Okay, copy.

0:31:20 Siobhan: Are any of them crits?

0:31:20 Brennan: None are crits.

0:31:22 Ally: None are crits.

0:31:24 Lou: None are crits!

0:31:27 Brennan: Name one, two, or three that you wanna Silvery Barbs.

0:31:29 Murph: Two.

0:31:30 Brennan: All right. Go ahead and reroll it.

0:31:31 Emily: None are crits is starting to sound like a little Italian grandma to me.

0:31:34 Siobhan: That's your sophomore album.

0:31:34 Emily: Nonna Crits.

0:31:37 Brennan: Riz, you Silvery Barbs one, turning it into a miss. [Murph whimpering]

0:31:41 Ally: That's right!

0:31:42 Murph: Just reflect, use my Arcadian watch to shoot a laser, block one of the shots.

0:31:48 Ally: Now you're starting to raise the roof.

0:31:50 Zac: It's just reflecting off the light.

0:31:54 Brennan: That's two hits on Cassandra. I am going to make three saving throws for Cassandra. These are Wisdom saving throws.

0:32:04 Emily: Are they against something that's happening within herself or an effect that someone's doing to her?

0:32:11 Brennan: Give me an Insight check with advantage from Fig.

0:32:16 Emily: Ugh, a four and a five. Not gonna get it.

0:32:18 Brennan: You see her from a distance, as you're still in the distance, she's surrounded. But you just see her crouching. She throws up Shield, is still getting hit through it, and yelling,

0:32:25 Cassandra: Stop, stop, stop!

0:32:27 Brennan: You see that red glow brightly inside her. She's gonna make three Wisdom saving throws. She is a goddess but, you know, she's bound by the same rules as all of us, which is that a nat one is a failure. [dice rattling]

0:32:48 Emily: Okay!

0:32:50 Brennan: That is their turn. Various other mages begin shouting. This one gets down the escalator and says,

0:32:56 Mage: Stop! Stop, all of you, stop!

0:32:58 Riz: Get out of here!

0:32:58 Kristen: Run away!

0:33:00 Brennan: This one comes over and says,

0:33:01 Mage: Now, now, now! Break it up, break it up!

0:33:03 Brennan: This one says,

0:33:03 Mage: Let cooler heads prevail!

0:33:07 Riz: Everyone, wide berth! : Back up!

0:33:08 Gorgug: Get them out of here! : Wide berth! Wide berth!

0:33:09 Gorgug: Get them out of here! Get them out of here!

0:33:12 Brennan: You see this wizard right here says,

0:33:15 Wizard: You fools! Go not closer!

0:33:18 Brennan: And is going to Misty Step to the Oodles of Strudel and go,

0:33:20 Wizard: Hello?

0:33:24 Adaine: I'll be right there, sir!

0:33:25 Wizard: I would like a strudel with sauce.

0:33:28 Adaine: Just one moment!

0:33:28 Fig: Hey, no one's manning it. You could go in, take it for yourself.

0:33:31 Adaine: Please don't go in, sir!

0:33:32 Wizard: I am committed by the laws of this ancient mall!

0:33:37 Zac: These idiots.

0:33:40 Brennan: These fucking idiots. Figueroth Faeth, that is your turn.

0:33:43 Emily: Okay, I think that security detail's starting to feel like a lot, and I need to outsource a little bit, so

0:33:50 Fig: Who here has Counterspell?

0:33:53 Emily: I wanna ask all these mages.

0:33:55 Brennan: All of them say,

0:33:55 Mage: I do!

0:33:57 Mage: I do as well!

0:33:57 Mage: Myself, as well!

0:33:59 Emily: Okay, who looks like they have the worst Wisdom?

0:34:04 Brennan: I'm gonna let you look at the minis. I want you to profile them.

0:34:07 Emily: This one. This one.

0:34:10 Brennan: Why?

0:34:10 Siobhan: This Gandalf the Gray motherfucker?

0:34:13 Emily: This man has made so many sacrifices to be nothing but intelligent.

0:34:18 Brennan: Why do you think, just 'cause his hat doesn't stand up quite straight?

0:34:22 Emily: So I need to be within 30 feet of him. Okay, so what I wanna do is I wanna cast Suggestion on him and say,

0:34:29 Fig: Counterspell any harmful spell against her.

0:34:35 Emily: And I point at Kristen Applebees.

0:34:37 Brennan: Great. He hears your eminently reasonable suggestion and goes,

0:34:43 Conor Counterspell: Well, young madam, if it's Counterspelling you want, then you can always count on [tap dancing][tips his hat] Conor Counterspell!

0:34:52 Riz: Whoa!

0:34:52 Gorgug: That's his name!

0:34:54 Riz: In the flesh!

0:34:54 Fig: Conor Counterspell?

0:34:56 Emily: I Hexblade Curse him.

0:34:59 Brennan: [retching] Shits, cries. “Why?”

0:35:04 Emily: I don't actually do that. I wanna use my bonus action to give a Bardic Inspiration to Cassandra in the form of being like,

0:35:13 Fig: Cassandra, hey, look, I understand. This place is fucked and you wanna get out of here, and we wanna get you out of here, okay? So, like, Kristen is here. We're all here. We're here for you.

0:35:25 Emily: And then give her a Bardic Inspiration.

0:35:29 Brennan: Incredible. [emotional instrumental]

0:35:31 Brennan: As you give that Bardic Inspiration, you see her look at you and say,

0:35:38 Cassandra: I'm so... I'm so scared. [screams]

0:35:42 Fig: I don't think you're scared. I think you're mad.

0:35:46 Brennan: You say, “I don't think you're scared, I think you're mad."

0:35:48 Fig: And that's okay, 'cause I'm into fucking rock and roll and metal, and that's all anger-made music.

0:35:55 Brennan: Incredible. Cassandra has Bardic Inspiration. You have a d8 or d10?

0:35:59 Emily: A d8, and the Suggestion goes for up to eight hours, so ideally if I don't lose Concentration, every round he'll be able to try and Counterspell something.

0:36:09 Lou: Thank god for Conor Counterspell.

0:36:10 Siobhan: Hey, if you don't lose Concentration, we should bring him to the party.

0:36:14 Brennan: Hell yeah. All right, you're right here. Concentration.

0:36:18 Emily: And then let me see if there's a position I wanna be in that's better. I'm gonna crouch behind this table.

0:36:25 Brennan: Awesome.

0:36:25 Emily: I also wanna give him, just Minor Illusion an earpiece for him, 'cause he's on the security detail now.

0:36:31 Conor Counterspell: [through the earpiece] Conor Counterspell, reporting for duty! President Applebees, no harmful spell shall cross your path.

0:36:38 Kristen: Who is that? Who is that?

0:36:38 Fig: It's Conor Counterspell!

0:36:42 Fig: He's my intern.

0:36:42 Kristen: Oh. Wait.

0:36:44 Conor Counterspell: We have interns at the Secret Service now.

0:36:47 Gorgug: So the Secret Service is one guy?

0:36:49 Fig: I let him in on all the sensitive information.

0:36:51 Kristen: Wait, what?

0:36:53 Fig: He's unpaid.

0:36:54 Kristen: He's gonna leak it all on Discord. I can tell his whole vibe.

0:36:59 Siobhan: Bragging about it to Pokemon players.

0:37:01 Lou: Just got a sick new job.

0:37:04 Brennan: Okay, at the end of Fig's turn, I'm going to need everybody within 20 feet of Cassandra—

0:37:10 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

0:37:11 Brennan: Which is pretty much—

0:37:12 Emily: No, Conor!

0:37:12 Brennan: Conor gets hit.

0:37:15 Emily: Is she casting a spell?

0:37:16 Brennan: Legendary action, magical effect. I need everyone to give me a Constitution saving throw.

0:37:21 Lou: Including The Ball?

0:37:22 Murph: I don't think I'm within 20 feet.

0:37:24 Brennan: You're not.

0:37:25 Emily: Can I give Conor my Eldritch Mind?

0:37:27 Brennan: Yes, you can give him your Eldritch Mind if you so wish. What did we get for Constitution saves here? What did Kristen get?

0:37:31 Ally: 11.

0:37:33 Brennan: And what did we get here?

0:37:33 Siobhan: Dirty 20.

0:37:34 Brennan: Dirty 20, okay. 31 necrotic damage to Kristen.

0:37:39 Lou: Kristen!

0:37:40 Brennan: Half to Adaine. 15 to Adaine. I'm gonna need a Concentration check, both for Bless and for the last time you took, I believe, the same amount of damage, 30 damage. [die rolling]

0:37:51 Ally: What do I add to that?

0:37:51 Brennan: Constitution saving throw.

0:37:53 Ally: Oh, it's Con? Okay, cool.

0:37:53 Brennan: Con saving throw.

0:37:55 Ally: So that's a 12 and a 17.

0:37:59 Brennan: A 12? Sorry—

0:38:01 Ally: I rolled a 10 last time I took damage.

0:38:02 Brennan: You rolled a 10 for Concentration last time you took damage?

0:38:05 Zac: Concentration on your fail?

0:38:07 Ally: Oh, just for Concentration on Bless?

0:38:09 Brennan: If you rolled a 12, you would have failed that.

0:38:11 Ally: Oh shit, I thought it was 10 or over.

0:38:13 Brennan: It is. Concentration checks are 10 or half damage, whichever is higher, so 30 damage would be a DC 15. So Bless is gone.

0:38:22 Ally: Okay.

0:38:24 Brennan: Cassandra, as you say, "You're mad," she just says,

0:38:27 Cassandra: [angrily] Please get back!

0:38:30 Brennan: Boom, and you see that just this wave of indiscriminate damage hits. All these people, Kalina's gonna get it. The only thing that seems unfazed by it is that little shattering star. That centaur's looking bloodied. Kalina has to roll. Kalina's not looking good.

0:38:47 Siobhan: Wait, so this damage is coming from the star?

0:38:50 Brennan: No, it's coming from Cassandra, but the star seems unaffected by it.

0:38:53 Ally: Guys, this is bad.

0:38:55 Emily: I know.

0:38:55 Murph: It's bad stuff.

0:38:57 Emily: Kristen, when is your turn?

0:38:59 Ally: I know. I rolled zero initiative.

0:39:02 Lou: A zero initiative—

0:39:02 Brennan: Gorgug, that's your turn.

0:39:04 Lou: ...on your god's battle!

0:39:05 Siobhan: So you don't get to go at all. Interesting.

0:39:09 Emily: Don't attack Conor Counterspell. He's on the team.

0:39:14 Ally: I ice Conor Counterspell.

0:39:16 Siobhan: Why did you kill him? He hasn't even turned yet.

0:39:19 Brennan: All of those four mages are on death's door.

0:39:22 Siobhan: Oh boy.

0:39:23 Ally: Included Conor Counterspell?

0:39:24 Brennan: Conor goes,

0:39:24 Conor Counterspell: Never fear! Conor... [screams]

0:39:28 Brennan: And you see that some of his teeth rocket into the soft palate and back of his throat.

0:39:33 Fig: Conor, get to safety! You only need to be within 60 feet!

0:39:35 Conor Counterspell: But I'm the Secret Service!

0:39:37 Fig: You're compromising the mission! Secret Service lurks in the shadows.

0:39:40 Conor Counterspell: No foul magic—

0:39:40 Fig: Get to the shadows!

0:39:42 Brennan: Blood pouring out of his nose.

0:39:42 Conor Counterspell: No foul magic shall appear when Conor Counterspell is near!

0:39:48 Zac: I think this is the only person I can reach in terms of 40 feet away. : Okay. Oh!

0:39:53 Lou: You picked a good one. Very unwise.

0:39:56 Brennan: Fabian, we didn't resolve attacks on you.

0:39:58 Lou: You did 36 damage—

0:39:58 Brennan: To you. Yes, we did.

0:40:00 Lou: You didn't tell me how many Concentration checks I needed to save against.

0:40:04 Brennan: Both of them are 10.

0:40:04 Lou: Okay.

0:40:05 Brennan: So just two Concentration checks at 10.

0:40:07 Lou: Save. Save!

0:40:09 Brennan: Hell yeah. Great, great, great.

0:40:09 Lou: Still dancing.

0:40:11 Zac: Can I make a specific Insight check on the red glowing thing as I get closer?

0:40:18 Brennan: Yeah, make an Insight check.

0:40:19 Zac: I'll tell you what Gorgug's thinking about. Is this what Ragh's mom absorbed?

0:40:27 Ally: Wow.

0:40:29 Brennan: No roll necessary.

0:40:29 Siobhan: Damn, dude!

0:40:31 Brennan: No roll necessary.

0:40:31 Siobhan: You're smart!

0:40:32 Lou: This guy out here making connections left and right.

0:40:34 Zac: Absorbed it with her rage.

0:40:34 Emily: Oh!

0:40:36 Zac: She was able to suppress whatever it was.

0:40:39 Brennan: It is the same color, and even more than the color, it's the pulse. There's some kind of agitated heartbeat behind it. I think what you see is that the color is the same, but the heartbeat, the pulse of this shatter-star, this roiling elemental thing, is faster. The pulse is faster. Lydia's is something that thrums to a normal resting heart rate, and actually somewhat slow, right?

0:41:08 Zac: And she still has hers. This is a different—

0:41:11 Brennan: Hers also looks... These are weird— it's shards of glass that are moving, and each of the shards is solid, but the way they move as this shifting orb is fluid. It's almost like if broken glass could move like a flock of birds or like a school of fish in motion.

0:41:31 Zac: And she had crystal or something.

0:41:33 Brennan: It was solid in her chest, yeah.

0:41:35 Zac: But she did not have a crystal on. She didn't bring a crystal—

0:41:39 Siobhan: I think somebody else did. That was what they used to save her.

0:41:43 Zac: Got it. Well, I'm just... I guess now that I'm closer,

0:41:45 Gorgug: Cloaca, with me!

0:41:48 Zac: And I run up and I'm just gonna take three attacks on this guy.

0:41:52 Brennan: Go for it.

0:41:54 Zac: I'm gonna Frenzy and be in a Reckless.

0:41:58 Lou: Ooh, he's being reckless!

0:42:01 Zac: 17 on the die plus 10.

0:42:01 Brennan: That's a hit.

0:42:04 Lou: Chop chop.

0:42:04 Zac: Second attack. Does a 21 hit?

0:42:08 Brennan: Yeah, they both hit. So you bonus action rage.

0:42:11 Zac: Well, I raged as we ran—

0:42:14 Brennan: Oh yes, that's right. You did.

0:42:15 Zac: I specifically called rage if that’s okay?

0:42:15 Brennan: You specifically called it. Sneaky little rage. Yep, go ahead and Frenzy. Let's do it.

0:42:19 Zac: And then the Frenzy. [dice rolling] Does a 17 hit?

0:42:23 Brennan: 17 does hit. Fabian and Gorgug, as you team up to flank this guy, you guys can see that your blows are not particularly... It's not hard to hit these guys, it's chewing through the mass of their bodies. They have a ton of hit points. So all three attacks connect.

0:42:39 Zac: Okay, so—

0:42:41 Lou: Big things popping.

0:42:41 Ally: Yeah. Sicko mode.

0:42:44 Zac: Jesus. So 24 for the first two attacks, and then the last attack...

0:42:53 Emily: Oh my god, two ones on the d12. Lou?: Devastating.

0:42:56 Zac: It was another nine. So, 33.

0:42:57 Emily: I feel for you.

0:43:01 Brennan: 33. A hefty sum of damage. You [grunts] bam, bam, bam, wail on this dude. You see he just turns around and says...

0:43:12 Buff Mage: [roaring] Abjurative grammar is prescriptive!

0:43:15 Gorgug: What?

0:43:17 Buff Mage: [roars]

0:43:18 Gorgug: I'm listening. I am listening.

0:43:20 Brennan: Adaine, you hear him say something. He says, "Abjurative grammar is prescriptive."

0:43:25 Adaine: He said abjurative grammar is prescriptive.

0:43:27 Gorgug: What?

0:43:30 Adaine: I can't explain. If you don't get it, you don't get it.

0:43:33 Fabian: It must be a code! The Ball, unscramble it quick!

0:43:37 Brennan: Anything from Cloaca?

0:43:40 Zac: I think Cloaca needs my bonus action to go, but I'm gonna send... Never mind.

0:43:45 Brennan: Cool, Cloaca's gonna hang out with you.

0:43:47 Cloaca: [squawks] I suck!

0:43:49 Zac: I think they can move, not on my—

0:43:50 Brennan: Okay.

0:43:51 Zac: So I might move them a little further, just over here.

0:43:53 Brennan: Cool.

0:43:54 Lou: Yes, further away from you.

0:43:56 Zac: So they don't get blown apart by AOE.

0:44:00 Brennan: Kristen Applebees, that is your turn.

0:44:01 Ally: Oh my god. The time is now. I turn to Cassandra and I say, Cassandra, I'm so sorry. This is... I really didn't know that you guys were counting on me here, and I've been dropping the ball so much lately. I completely understand you're angry with me.

0:44:20 Brennan: Do you want to use your action to try to make a Persuasion check here? What would you like to do mechanically with your action?

0:44:29 Ally: Can I roll to see if a Greater Restoration would do anything for her? It's, "You can lift one curse, including the target's attunement to a cursed item." I don't know if that's doing something to her.

0:44:41 Brennan: Gimme a Religion check.

0:44:41 Ally: Okay. [dice rolling] Oh yeah, that's right. That is a 24.

0:44:50 Brennan: You do not sense that she is cursed, but there is some effect on her that is profound. Greater Restoration would probably not have a hugely material effect here, but I would allow it to give her advantage on one of the saving throws in that Box of Doom.

0:45:07 Ally: Okay.

0:45:07 Brennan: But that's a big price tag for a small benefit, right? So what would you like to do? Also, you can use your turn for a Persuasion check if you want. If you had a bonus action that you wanted to do and then use your action for Persuasion. So it's all on the table.

0:45:20 Ally: Yeah, I'll do that. I would love to try to do... I would love to try to persuade her.

0:45:25 Brennan: Okay, go ahead. This is going to be a DC 20 Persuasion check.

0:45:31 Ally: Okay. I get seven to Persuasion.

0:45:34 Brennan: Hell yeah. [die rolling]

0:45:37 Ally: Nat 20! Nat fucking 20! [stands up] [players cheer] Ally standing up from their chair knocks several things over that are not visible in-camera. Their seat neighbors look on at the destruction. Ally guiltily sits back in their seat.

0:45:37 Murph: Oh my god! So many chairs!

0:45:42 Siobhan: Ally also has a minus three to Dex.

0:45:45 Murph: You've destroyed so much stuff. Ally takes a swig of a canned drink.

0:45:49 Murph: [leaning over to cover the can] [laughing] Don't show the can!

0:45:49 Lou: Cover the label.

0:45:51 Murph: Oh my god!

0:45:51 Ally: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

0:45:55 Lou: That was way too—

0:45:55 Murph: That was awesome.

0:45:57 Ally: It just sounded loud because of all the plastic breaking.

0:46:00 Lou: It's so funny how long we've been at this.

0:46:02 Siobhan: Ally just broke 500 minis.

0:46:04 Lou: I almost feel bad. A nat 20 happens and then I'm like, the damage!

0:46:09 Ally: No, I'm literally so sorry.

0:46:09 Lou: But sick, dude!

0:46:11 Ally: It was dice falling, too.

0:46:11 Lou: Sick, Brennan's leaving!

0:46:13 Emily: Maybe you're gonna have a buff Kristen now.

0:46:17 Lou: Buff Kristen.

0:46:18 Ally: Don't spoil it, but is it a buff Kristen?

0:46:19 Brennan: It's not a buff Kristen.

0:46:19 Siobhan: Say yes or no.

0:46:21 Murph: You gotta say yes or no.

0:46:21 Siobhan: Just say yes or no. Oh, buff Cassandra?

0:46:23 Brennan: No, you see—

0:46:23 Ally: Healed Cassandra!

0:46:25 Brennan: Healed Cassandra.

0:46:27 Siobhan: Oh, thank god!

0:46:29 Brennan: She goes all the way to IDK. As she does so— [Ally sighs]

0:46:36 Lou: Hot start, dude. Out here cookin'.

0:46:39 Ally: So many bad rolls before that.

0:46:41 Emily: This feels like this is pretty much over.

0:46:42 Lou: We're gonna get back to the party.

0:46:44 Ally: Don't say that too loud!

0:46:46 Emily: Let's try to turn that arcane clock back in time and get back before the party starts!

0:46:49 Lou: That nat 20 means that President Kristen's going off the roof!

0:46:55 Ally: “Cassandra, ride on the back of my motorcycle into the tartar sauce! I love you!”

0:47:00 Lou: You keep rolling nat 20s. “Roll on the back of my motorcycle! I love you!”

0:47:05 Ally: “I love you! We're going right into the tartar sauce!”

0:47:08 Lou: Just immediately, rage disappears. “Did you say tartar sauce?”

0:47:12 Brennan: Her body, as she is healed, expels—

0:47:17 Ally: I persuaded her to be healed?

0:47:19 Brennan: We've got to honor nat 20s. It's the rule of the show. Expels an enormous number, seven of these shatter-stars expel out in—

0:47:31 Emily: But they're nice now, right? They heal now?

0:47:34 Siobhan: [laughs] They just give you a warm hug.

0:47:35 Lou: Conor Counterspell, no!

0:47:38 Ally: Oh yeah, Counterspell. Can he—

0:47:40 Emily: Conor Counterspell is under—

0:47:40 Ally: Can he take all seven?

0:47:45 Siobhan: Can he become unbelievably huge?

0:47:48 Brennan: How does Goading Attack work, by the way? Is that over now, or he still has it?

0:47:51 Ally: Does it last forever?

0:47:53 Lou: [looking at his character sheet] It says it lasts forever. [Ally laughs]

0:47:56 Lou: “Attack rolls against targets other than you until the end of your next turn.”

0:48:01 Brennan: The end of your next turn. Incredible, okay. Kristen, you watch Cassandra. The red... [screams] She is bleeding profusely, both from being injured by these rage mages around her, but then also looking up at you and just going,

0:48:19 Cassandra: I'm just really scared, I think.

0:48:23 Brennan: Then she looks over at Fig and she goes,

0:48:27 Cassandra: And I'm fucking pissed.

0:48:29 Fig: Let it out.

0:48:29 Brennan: 'Cause I wanted to help. And you see that as she says that, you see that little vein of red start again, but give me an Insight check. Because of that nat 20, I'll let you roll with advantage. [dice rolling]

0:48:43 Ally: [whistles] Where are those rolls again? Let's see, it's still a 13.

0:48:49 Brennan: You see a vein of red appear in her chest as she tries to give voice to why she's frustrated or disappointed. You get this sense from her that she's just like, "It just isn't f... It just doesn't feel f..." And there's this little bit of red, and I think it freaks you out a bit, and she sees you get freaked out by it a bit and stops, not wanting to frighten you. That is an incredible fucking nat 20. Adaine, that is your turn.

0:49:13 Ally: Can I roll to be brave enough to not be afraid of her anger and just let her—

0:49:16 Brennan: Do you have a Human Determination you wanna use on that roll?

0:49:19 Ally: I already used that.

0:49:19 Brennan: Okay.

0:49:21 Ally: I can use a Divine Intervention. [Brennan laughs]

0:49:26 Emily: Excuse me!

0:49:26 Ally: My big 10th level—

0:49:27 Brennan: Wait, you do have a bonus action. Is there any bonus action thing you wanna do?

0:49:29 Ally: Oh yes, I have to Healing Word—

0:49:31 Lou: Ooh, look at that. Little bits of red sneaking into the background.

0:49:34 Ally: I might have to just Healing Word myself. I'm down to 12 hit points.

0:49:38 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:49:38 Ally: That can work on me, right?

0:49:39 Brennan: Yeah, it can work on you. Absolutely. Adaine Abernant, that is your turn.

0:49:43 Siobhan: Great, so having extensively read the handbook for Oodles of Strudel—

0:49:51 Brennan: Yes.

0:49:52 Siobhan: Is there any information that I would know about summoning some kind of intergalactic magical mall cop?

0:50:01 Brennan: Ooh!

0:50:02 Emily: Oh, that's fun.

0:50:03 Brennan: Potentially. Do you have a character ability that you would like to use to do that? Or do you just wanna take a shot in the dark?

0:50:09 Siobhan: The character ability is, I read the handbook.

0:50:11 Brennan: Yes, okay. Would you like to make an Arcana check and call a mall cop?

0:50:15 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:50:15 Emily: This is so funny.

0:50:17 Brennan: Great, give me an Arcana check.

0:50:18 Siobhan: 15.

0:50:19 Brennan: 15.

0:50:21 Emily: What if it's Colin Counterspell? He just has a little badge.

0:50:24 Zac: He takes off his hat.

0:50:24 Ally: “I wear many hats.”

0:50:25 Siobhan: “I've been an undercover mall cop this whole time.”

0:50:29 Emily: I was undercover.

0:50:32 Brennan: Siobhan.

0:50:32 Siobhan: Yes?

0:50:33 Brennan: The purple-hatted wizard holding an orb right there says,

0:50:37 Mall Cop: Having summoned a mall cop, mall cop hath arrived! Verily, what truants now bedevil our fair mall? Are they grinding against the fountain? Are they hiding in the clothing racks?

0:50:53 Adaine: Greetings, fellow wizard. Hark, a bunch of very scary red balls that are attacking the patrons of the mall!

0:51:00 Mall Cop: Ha! Brigands and devils, begone henceforth! I am not legally allowed to touch you or cast spells on you. But you must away!

0:51:13 Emily: Summoned an impotent.

0:51:15 Siobhan: Look, it was worth a try.

0:51:17 Brennan: Worth a try.

0:51:17 Lou: Gotta try.

0:51:19 Siobhan: So it seems like all of these things are maybe gonna come for Cassandra.

0:51:23 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:51:25 Siobhan: So I think what I would like to do is turn to her and say,

0:51:31 Adaine: Do you need to get out of here?

0:51:33 Cassandra: Well—

0:51:33 Kristen: She can get you out of here.

0:51:36 Adaine: I can get you out of here.

0:51:36 Brennan: Okay! You see that she says... There's a moment where that red glows in her, and she says,

0:51:45 Cassandra: [resentfully] Why don't you let me get us out of here?

0:51:48 Brennan: And turns to look at all of these rage shatter-star things. You see that she looks at them with recognition and she goes,

0:51:57 Cassandra: [quietly] How are they back here? I thought you were dead.

0:52:02 Siobhan: Can I do an Arcana check or a Religion check?

0:52:05 Brennan: Yeah, gimme a Religion check. [dice rolling]

0:52:09 Siobhan: Nat one, but thank god.

0:52:13 Brennan: 21. I thought you were dead. She's looking at a bunch of shattered little crystal glowing red things. It doesn't connect to anything you're aware of.

0:52:22 Siobhan: No Nightmare King kind of—

0:52:23 Brennan: No Nightmare King kind of stuff. This does not look Nightmare King related. But you see, Adaine, she looks like she wants to turn around and fucking end the fight, essentially.

0:52:37 Siobhan: So she doesn't want me to get her out of here, is what she's saying.

0:52:40 Brennan: It looks like she's fully— that nat 20, she's fully in control of herself again.

0:52:45 Siobhan: Okay, great. In which case, I will cast True Strike as a bonus action using my sword, and then I will cast Steel Wind Strike.

0:52:58 Brennan: Hell yes.

0:53:00 Siobhan: And I will... I'm gonna try and attack these frickin' terrifying orbs.

0:53:08 Brennan: Attack the orbs!

0:53:10 Siobhan: And I'm going to attack five of them.

0:53:12 Brennan: Okay.

0:53:13 Siobhan: Yeah, they're melee spell attack rolls, and then one of them I'll roll with advantage with True Strike. Does a 14 hit?

0:53:21 Brennan: A 14 hits.

0:53:22 Siobhan: Great. Then a 22 definitely hits.

0:53:27 Brennan: Okay.

0:53:31 Siobhan: And these two also hit.

0:53:31 Brennan: Okay.

0:53:34 Siobhan: Does a 10 hit?

0:53:34 Brennan: 10 does not hit.

0:53:37 Siobhan: I'll take the four hits.

0:53:39 Brennan: Take the four hits! Go ahead and roll damage.

0:53:44 Siobhan: So that's gonna be... Nice, okay.

0:53:50 Lou: Now that's what we're looking for!

0:53:53 Siobhan: 18, 26, 36, 41 damage each.

0:54:01 Brennan: 41 damage each. Which are the four that you're hitting?

0:54:05 Siobhan: The ones closest to Kristen. The ones that could possibly hit Kristen.

0:54:10 Brennan: Copy that, great.

0:54:11 Ally: I'm back up to a mighty 27 hit points.

0:54:14 Lou: Oh, good.

0:54:14 Siobhan: Great.

0:54:15 Emily: Mighty!

0:54:15 Ally: Don't worry about me.

0:54:16 Lou: Mighty.

0:54:16 Brennan: Hell yeah. Adaine, what does it look like as you do your Steel Wind Strike?

0:54:21 Siobhan: The Sword of Sight flashes with a light not dissimilar to the blue of the mall. My whole body sort of twists and disappears and turns up and does a melee attack against these four.

0:54:35 Brennan: In each strike against each of these shatter-stars, the moment of striking them was foretold. It is destiny that guides your blade. All of them are hanging onto their fragile magical existence by the barest of threads.

0:54:52 Siobhan: Boggy is going to once again give Kristen the Help action.

0:54:56 Ally: Thank you.

0:54:56 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:54:57 Brennan: Cassandra is going to go. Kalina is out of invisibility, because—

0:55:04 Siobhan: She got hit.

0:55:04 Brennan: She got hit.

0:55:05 Ally: Has she done anything other than made herself invisible?

0:55:07 Siobhan: What a fucking coward.

0:55:07 Brennan: Not a thing.

0:55:10 Ally: I hate her so much.

0:55:12 Brennan: When she becomes visible, she looks over at you,

0:55:12 Kalina: Riz. Hey, kid.

0:55:18 Fig: Did you guys hook up or something?

0:55:19 Riz: No!

0:55:20 Fabian: The Ball! Hell yeah, The Ball!

0:55:23 Adaine: Like father, like son.

0:55:25 Kristen: Why are you grinding underneath the table?

0:55:27 Riz: I'm not! I'm flossing!

0:55:27 Kristen: And looking at Kalina?

0:55:29 Fig: Cat Grinders.

0:55:30 Kristen: Cat Grinders!

0:55:32 Brennan: When Cassandra said, “I thought you died," was she talking about Kalina or the shards?

0:55:39 Brennan: Give me Insight. Gimme an Insight check.

0:55:41 Ally: Advantage, 'cause that was so good?

0:55:44 Murph: 28.

0:55:45 Brennan: She was not talking about Kalina.

0:55:46 Murph: She's not talking about Kalina, okay.

0:55:48 Brennan: You see Kalina looks over at you, panicked but suddenly like, ah, the battle's turning. Everything is okay. Cassandra looks over at you and says,

0:55:56 Cassandra: Thanks for the advice. It's always nice to have a helping hand.

0:56:00 Brennan: She's going to roll a mass dispelling.

0:56:05 Murph: Whoa!

0:56:05 Lou: Geez!

0:56:06 Ally: What advice did you give her?

0:56:07 Emily: Oh, the Bardic Inspiration.

0:56:07 Ally: Oh, nice.

0:56:11 Brennan: And then she's gonna roll a saving throw.

0:56:13 Emily: But I did tell her to start a band or a podcast.

0:56:17 Brennan: As she smiles at you, Fig, you're immune to fire, so it's very rare for you to get hot.

0:56:24 Ally: Are you gonna hook up with Kalina?

0:56:27 Brennan: But you see, as Cassandra smiles at you, she looks out and says,

0:56:31 Cassandra: Time for a little bit of mystery.

0:56:35 Brennan: Reaches down, and you can feel sweat on your face and your stomach suddenly [gurgling queasily] gurgles, and you see this fire elemental—

0:56:47 Gorgug: Did you guys hear that?

0:56:47 Brennan: ...runs over to you and hands a plate of shrimp and goes,

0:56:53 Fire Elemental: Shrimp? [Murph and Siobhan laugh]

0:56:58 Siobhan: You just summoned shrimp?

0:57:00 Gorgug: Fig, what are you doing?

0:57:00 Adaine: Fig!

0:57:02 Riz: Fig! What the hell?

0:57:02 Adaine: Keep your eye on the prize!

0:57:04 Gorgug: Hey, Fig?

0:57:04 Fire Elemental: Shrimp! Shrimp?

0:57:09 Emily: [giggling] I eat the shrimp.

0:57:09 Ally: What?

0:57:11 Gorgug: Fig, who is that?

0:57:12 Ally: Are they even de-veined?

0:57:12 Fabian: Fig, what are you doing?

0:57:13 Murph: This is Emily's tactical Yorbies.

0:57:15 Ally: Have they been de-veined? [Emily's laughter turns to wheezing]

0:57:19 Brennan: All of you watch in this moment... I wanna be clear. Kristen, you have healed your goddess. Adaine, you have stricken, you know how to hurt these things. Fabian and Gorgug are lancing blows. You have won the day. You have won the day. And Fig fucking gave the Counterspell that prevented spells from happening in the first place. As you go, you reach a little too hard, and the plate flips, and the shrimp go flying across the food court.

0:57:48 Emily: The shrimp!

0:57:48 Brennan: Cassandra says,

0:57:50 Cassandra: In this realm be banished... [chokes]

0:57:53 Brennan: And a shrimp goes in her throat. This laughing mage kicks this signpost up that flies through the air, hits Cassandra in the head, and knocks her unconscious.

0:58:04 Emily: What?

0:58:04 Siobhan: Oh my god!

0:58:06 Riz: Fig!

0:58:06 Adaine: What the fuck?

0:58:07 Gorgug: What just happened?!

0:58:08 Ally: Was this a roll?

0:58:10 Brennan: She rolled a natural two on her saving throw for the effect, and even with a plus 10, that's not high enough.

0:58:17 Zac: An effect?

0:58:17 Siobhan: What effect? From who?

0:58:19 Brennan: Just an effect. Fig, you watch as Cassandra looks at you. You watch a god, a divinity, begin to discover that she is allergic to shrimp. Players look on in disbelief.

0:58:30 Emily: What?

0:58:30 Brennan: And then get hit in the head with a wet floor sign and go, "Glonk!" and suffer the stunned condition.

0:58:36 Fig: I think this is someone else's fault and not mine.

0:58:40 Gorgug: Who did that?

0:58:41 Kristen: How did you get the shrimp to go that far?

0:58:45 Fig: I just... [Emily laughs]

0:58:46 Fig: I just—

0:58:47 Gorgug: There were so many obstacles in the way.

0:58:48 Kristen: Why did you take the shrimp? We're in pitched combat!

0:58:51 Fabian: I've got a literal ton of shrimp waiting for us back at the house!

0:58:56 Gorgug: What the hell, Fig?

0:58:56 Fig: I was in party mode!

0:58:58 Fabian: A metric ton of shrimp is waiting for us, and you had to eat now?

0:59:02 Fig: I was in party mode!

0:59:04 Brennan: Everyone give me Perception checks except for Fig. Everyone give me Perception checks except for Fig.

0:59:10 Murph: 15.

0:59:11 Brennan: 15. Wait, you have a passive Investigation of 21, right?

0:59:15 Murph: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:59:15 Zac: 20.

0:59:16 Siobhan: Also 15.

0:59:16 Lou: 18.

0:59:17 Brennan: Riz, the little fire elemental goes,

0:59:17 Fire Elemental: More samples!

0:59:21 Brennan: And starts to sort of move away.

0:59:23 Fig: No, you just did all that. You just did all that. You just did all that.

0:59:27 Brennan: You see, as Fig wags a finger at this fire elemental with a little paper hat that is just immolating and burning on its head, on her shirt, tartar sauce dripping down the front of her shirt.

0:59:43 Fig: I dipped.

0:59:46 Riz: This is some Gilear shit.

0:59:50 Fig: I think I need to go to the hospital. After this and after the party, I'm gonna make it through the party, but afterwards, you need to take me to the hospital. But maybe in a different town.

1:00:05 Kristen: Body or mind?

1:00:07 Brennan: As Riz says, "This is some Gilear shit," anyone who wants to can make Arcana or Religion. [dice rolling]

1:00:16 Siobhan: I got a 24 Arcana.

1:00:18 Zac: 21 Arcana.

1:00:19 Ally: 18.

1:00:19 Lou: 18 as well.

1:00:21 Brennan: So you are aware that when Fig chooses to grace someone with encouragement, there is magical heft to that. Fig is an archdevil and a powerful bard. You watched her encourage Cassandra, and moments later, a thing happened to Cassandra that you have only ever seen happen to one other person in your life before.

1:00:47 Fig: When we were fighting the giant manta ray, the Night... I'm not gonna say it.

1:00:53 Gorgug: You can say it now.

1:00:55 Riz: You can say it now.

1:00:55 Fabian: It's all right.

1:00:56 Adaine: It just makes the van sicker.

1:00:58 Fig: When we were fighting the Night Yorb, there was this moment where the car was gonna capsize and I had to reach deep and sort of unlock some sort of ancestral curse, and I've had stomach problems ever since.

1:01:14 Adaine: Oh my god. Gilear made you lactose intolerant?

1:01:18 Riz: Like the kind that would only make you be able to eat yogurt?

1:01:20 Brennan: Conor Counterspell goes,

1:01:20 Conor Counterspell: Guys, we're still in the mix!

1:01:25 Fig: Conor, stay hot!

1:01:25 Ally: Stay hot?

1:01:27 Brennan: Conor, his teeth sort of hanging out of his mouth.

1:01:30 Conor Counterspell: I'm gonna stay hot!

1:01:33 Murph: He's so hurt. Run, Conor.

1:01:34 Conor Counterspell: Against foul magic you may strive, till Conor Counterspell arrive! [Emily laughs] Zac laughs silently.

1:01:41 Gorgug: Wow, Conor.

1:01:44 Brennan: Way to fucking go, Conor.

1:01:46 Fig: You're coming to the party.

1:01:46 Zac: Lotta teeth hanging out?

1:01:48 Brennan: Fig, as everyone else turns back into combat, in a moment of—

1:01:52 Emily: I'm holding the shrimp still.

1:01:55 Ally: I dipped.

1:01:56 Brennan: There is a moment, that, again, sort of fiery hotness, and you see gleaming golden armor with hellish stone behind it say,

1:02:10 Armor: It was not yours to take.

1:02:13 Brennan: That is what you see in a moment of vision, and I'll say, Adaine, give me Arcana with advantage.

1:02:21 Murph: [quietly to Emily] When Gilear popped out of that golden armor, right?

1:02:23 Siobhan: That is a nat 20.

1:02:25 Brennan: As the Oracle, you see the same vision, visions and everything else like that, and you see Fig in the Armor of Pride some years from now, striding a battlefield, and around her, people punching themselves in the dick by accident, slipping on banana peels, trucks, city buses coming by as people—and just carnage as a wave of unluck unmakes the world.

1:02:54 Fig: Adaine, did you see that too?

1:02:56 Adaine: Yeah, it was actually pretty rad.

1:02:58 Fig: Can I ask you a question?

1:02:58 Adaine: Yeah.

1:03:00 Fig: Do I suck?

1:03:03 Adaine: You? No!

1:03:04 Cloaca: I suck!

1:03:05 Adaine: No! You?

1:03:05 Gorgug: Cloaca!

1:03:07 Adaine: No!

1:03:09 Emily: I suck on the shrimp.

1:03:10 Brennan: You suck on the shrimp. It is now the shatter-stars' turn.

1:03:14 Adaine: We're gonna get you some help.

1:03:16 Brennan: One of them has to roll to recharge an ability. It does not recharge. One of these is gonna go for an attack against Kristen. That is a miss.

1:03:25 Siobhan: That one just moved away from Kristen, so it gets an—

1:03:27 Brennan: Attack of opportunity?

1:03:29 Ally: Can I cast a spell? I don't have any weapons.

1:03:30 Murph: No. Lou shakes his head.

1:03:31 Siobhan: Do you have War Caster?

1:03:31 Murph: You have a staff.

1:03:33 Emily: Do you have War Caster?

1:03:33 Brennan: You have a staff.

1:03:35 Ally: What's a War Caster?

1:03:35 Siobhan: As a feat?

1:03:37 Ally: No, no.

1:03:38 Siobhan: Yeah, so just a melee attack.

1:03:39 Emily: I think you should punch it.

1:03:41 Ally: All right, well, it's empty. I don't know who did this sheet for me. [Murph laughs]

1:03:48 Emily: Do your Strength. Punch it.

1:03:49 Zac: I don't know who did this sheet for me?

1:03:51 Murph: It'll be that plus your proficiency.

1:03:53 Ally: Great. 15.

1:03:55 Brennan: 15 hits.

1:03:56 Murph: It's also more than that, but—

1:03:57 Ally: It's 19.

1:03:57 Brennan: It's 19. Incredible.

1:04:01 Emily: I've never seen someone less enthusiastic to take an attack of opportunity.

1:04:05 Ally: I just didn't think that this was actually possible.

1:04:08 Brennan: Go ahead, Kristen, and roll 1d6 plus your Strength mod.

1:04:13 Ally: If I have a way to do Divine Strike and add radiant damage to this, am I allowed to?

1:04:18 Brennan: Yeah, I think so.

1:04:20 Ally: Weapon attacks.

1:04:20 Brennan: Yeah.

1:04:21 Ally: If I'm using my staff.

1:04:21 Brennan: That's correct.

1:04:23 Ally: Okay cool, so I'm gonna do that, and then it also gets a d8.

1:04:26 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it.

1:04:26 Ally: So... [dice rolling] Hey! Eight.

1:04:31 Brennan: What's your Strength mod?

1:04:31 Murph: [points to Ally’s sheet] Plus two.

1:04:32 Ally: Plus two, so 10.

1:04:34 Brennan: These things were on death's door thanks to our Elven Oracle. What does it look like as Kristen shatters one of these in front of her?

1:04:40 Kristen: Yah!

1:04:43 Brennan: Incredible.

1:04:43 Adaine: Kristen, behind you!

1:04:45 Ally: Maybe she's actually just turning to see where it's going and accidentally knocks it with her staff. I don't think she's ever—

1:04:51 Siobhan: Sometimes the minus three Dex is good for you.

1:04:53 Ally: Yeah, exactly. Oh, oops!

1:04:54 Brennan: The other one, seeing that, is not gonna attempt to flee the wizard who just almost destroyed it in one hit, and is going to need a Charisma saving throw from Adaine.

1:05:08 Siobhan: That's a one, which I'm gonna turn into a 19.

1:05:10 Brennan: Describe for me the world we would see 100 years from now if this thing had taken Adaine over as it was just about to.

1:05:20 Siobhan: You're asking me how much change Adaine—

1:05:24 Brennan: Would wreak upon the world if all she thought of was rage.

1:05:28 Siobhan: Oh, well, Fallinel is destroyed. The forest of Sylvaire has been broken. Not on purpose, but just, she's been looking for her mother, and anything that gets in the way...

1:05:48 Brennan: The entire forest has been chewed up by powerful machines of Solace, searching for your mother to get your revenge. You see that future, and instead, your eyes glow white and you choose another. It fails. We're gonna roll for these other wizards.

1:06:09 Lou: Colin Counterspell can't fail. His Charisma's through the roof.

1:06:13 Siobhan: Oh my god, he's so charismatic.

1:06:15 Emily: It's just gonna make him buff. He can still Counterspell if he's buff.

1:06:18 Siobhan: Yes.

1:06:19 Emily: The Suggestion spell will still work. I don't think there's any spells at play anymore now that Cassandra's on our side.

1:06:23 Ally: Yeah.

1:06:26 Brennan: Okay.

1:06:28 Zac: No.

1:06:30 Lou: Not Colin. Anyone but Colin.

1:06:33 Brennan: Conor, Conor.

1:06:35 Emily: I'm gonna Cutting Words on the one that hit Conor.

1:06:40 Brennan: I will let you attempt to save Conor in this moment even though Cutting Words can't actually help his saving throw.

1:06:47 Emily: Oh, 'cause he did it as a saving throw.

1:06:49 Brennan: No, no, but this is gonna happen.

1:06:50 Emily: Okay.

1:06:50 Brennan: You need a four or higher on the die to save Conor Counterspell.

1:06:56 Fig: Conor, stay with me. Stay with me. Stay hot, okay? You're on the job. You're on the job!

1:07:01 Conor Counterspell: When other mages here may fear, foul magic I make disappear!

1:07:06 Emily: I got a two.

1:07:09 Conor Counterspell: [in a deep voice] Fuck that!

1:07:12 Zac: No!

1:07:13 Emily: Conor!

1:07:13 Ally: No! Conor!

1:07:15 Emily: Conor!

1:07:16 Ally: Too many! Too many!

1:07:19 Brennan: No, no, no. Conor... Conor is here, baby. [gasps]

1:07:23 Siobhan: Oh my god, he's so hot.

1:07:24 Emily: He is absolutely coming to the party.

1:07:25 Lou: This is honestly better. I think we should take this Colin home.

1:07:28 Brennan: This looks like John Cena doing a sketch making fun of LARPers, you know?

1:07:34 Emily: Question. In this form, can he still Counterspell?

1:07:38 Zac: I got a turn in about 30 minutes, so then I'll...

1:07:42 Siobhan: Damn, the little balls are disappearing. Oh, look at that butt.

1:07:45 Lou: Does each one have a buff version?

1:07:47 Brennan: Each one has a buff version.

1:07:49 Siobhan: Damn, I'm so excited to see them all in the Adventuring Party.

1:07:50 Lou: Everybody wants to see his.

1:07:52 Siobhan: This guy rules. This guy has to come to the party.

1:07:55 Zac: The centaur looks like that Sean Connery movie.

1:07:58 Brennan: "Zardoz"?

1:07:58 Zac: Yeah.

1:08:01 Brennan: Most alarmingly of all, Riz, Kalina turns to you and she goes,

1:08:06 Kalina: Cassandra!

1:08:10 Brennan: And then the star above her lands, opens, and Kalina goes,

1:08:14 Kalina: No! [grunts]

1:08:19 Brennan: And holds the spines so they pierce through her paws as black blood, shadows, runs down, turning into smoke on her forearms. She looks at this, looks at you, [groaning in pain] as the smoke and light goes into her mouth, going,

1:08:37 Kalina: [choking] Ragh Barkrock! [grunts]

1:08:40 Brennan: And it goes into her mouth, and she becomes very still. [Siobhan gasps]

1:08:48 Brennan: Doesn't grow at all.

1:08:49 Siobhan: Oh no.

1:08:51 Brennan: You see she stands up, using a legendary reaction.

1:08:56 Siobhan: Oh fuck.

1:08:59 Brennan: Her tail doesn't twitch. She gets quite still indeed, and just her shoulders imperceptibly move side to side.

1:09:09 Adaine: Fuck, she's shimmying! She's fucking shimmying!

1:09:11 Kristen: Why is she shimmying?

1:09:12 Fabian: Is that a cat language thing?

1:09:14 Adaine: Yes, that's what they do when they're about to pounce!

1:09:16 Kristen: What? No.

1:09:16 Adaine: Yes!

1:09:17 Riz: Yeah. Siobhan and Zac shimmy their shoulders.

1:09:19 Brennan: Fabian Aramais Seacaster, that is your turn.

1:09:23 Fabian: Hangman, did everyone get inside? Are people at the silent disco?

1:09:28 Hangman: Sire, everyone's inside. I've begun a rumor that you're going to make a grand entrance when everyone's in here.

1:09:34 Fabian: Good, good, good!

1:09:36 Ally: He's so good.

1:09:37 Fabian: Great, the party's still on!

1:09:37 Lou: Okay, I'm gonna...

1:09:42 Fabian: Gorgug, you've got this big guy, right?

1:09:45 Gorgug: Yeah, I think.

1:09:47 Fabian: Cool!

1:09:47 Lou: I'm gonna run past him. I'm gonna use my first attack on number 24.

1:09:56 Brennan: The shatter-star?

1:09:56 Lou: The shatter-star. Look over at Adaine.

1:09:58 Fabian: You can just stab these things?

1:10:01 Adaine: Yeah, just frickin' stab it.

1:10:03 Brennan: Because he has 10 foot reach, you actually don't get an attack of opportunity.

1:10:05 Lou: Oh, also, with Kinetic Jaunt, my dance-y capoeira steps, he can't touch me.

1:10:10 Brennan: Wow!

1:10:11 Lou: I'll take an attack on the shatter-star. That will be a 23 to hit.

1:10:16 Brennan: 23 hits.

1:10:17 Lou: We'll burn a 1st level spell slot.

1:10:20 Brennan: I will say, this is one of the ones that you know is very, very injured.

1:10:22 Lou: Okay, we won't. Thank you. How's a 15 do?

1:10:26 Brennan: 15 damage?

1:10:26 Lou: Yes.

1:10:29 Brennan: Shatters along your sword.

1:10:29 Ally: Nice.

1:10:31 Lou: Awesome. I'm gonna take another attack on 16.

1:10:35 Brennan: Okay, go for it.

1:10:35 Lou: The big centaur guy.

1:10:35 Brennan: Yep.

1:10:39 Lou: Does a 16 hit?

1:10:39 Brennan: 16 does hit.

1:10:42 Lou: Okay, I'm gonna burn a 1st-level spell on him and then also make that a Goading Attack.

1:10:48 Brennan: Cool.

1:10:49 Lou: DC 17 Wisdom saving throw on his part.

1:10:52 Brennan: Fails the Wisdom saving throw.

1:10:54 Lou: Great, that's gonna be 11, 15, and disadvantage to any attacks on anyone but me. We're gonna keep moving along. I'm gonna Action Surge.

1:11:05 Brennan: Okay. This centaur is looking on death's door, I will say.

1:11:11 Lou: Let me stab Kalina.

1:11:13 Brennan: Okay, how're you getting over there?

1:11:16 Lou: I'm gonna move through the centaur.

1:11:17 Brennan: Which you can do.

1:11:17 Lou: Yes. Stab Kalina.

1:11:20 Brennan: Awesome.

1:11:21 Lou: Does an 18 hit?

1:11:23 Brennan: She is going to cast Shield as a reaction. It does not hit.

1:11:25 Lou: Fine.

1:11:27 Emily: Can I Counterspell it?

1:11:28 Brennan: I believe you can. Let's see.

1:11:31 Emily: That would be nice, to Counterspell Kalina's Shield.

1:11:35 Brennan: You counter it, and the spell is countered. What did you get?

1:11:39 Lou: I got an 18.

1:11:40 Brennan: 18 does not hit.

1:11:40 Lou: Okay.

1:11:43 Emily: What? Why'd she cast Shield, then?

1:11:44 Siobhan: She's so strong.

1:11:46 Lou: Disappointing. I'm gonna stab 19, the other bald wizard.

1:11:54 Brennan: Okay.

1:11:56 Lou: Nat 20. [players cheering]

1:11:59 Lou: So we'll make it another, my last superiority die to make it a Goading Attack. We'll do a Defensive Flourish.

1:12:05 Brennan: Okay.

1:12:08 Lou: So that's my second Bardic. That's 2d6 there, and then we'll burn my last 2nd level spell slot. So that's 2d6, 2d6, 2d8, 2d8.

1:12:16 Ally: Wow.

1:12:21 Brennan: Woo!

1:12:22 Lou: Okay. 15, 18, 21, 24, 29, 31, 36, plus 9, 44 points of damage.

1:12:35 Brennan: Jesus.

1:12:37 Lou: And a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw.

1:12:40 Ally: 45.

1:12:42 Brennan: Fails the saving throw.

1:12:42 Lou: Fails the saving throw. Disadvantage on attacks. I don't think I've used that much movement out of my total of 50, so I'd like to climb the clock, if I can.

1:12:53 Emily: Yeah!

1:12:54 Brennan: Hell yes. Give me Acrobatics.

1:12:58 Siobhan: Stay focused.

1:13:00 Lou: [sighs in relief] [blows a kiss and looks up at the sky] 16.

1:13:01 Brennan: Okay, 16?

1:13:03 Siobhan: This die rolls threes 9 times out of 10.

1:13:06 Lou: It's just where it lives.

1:13:08 Brennan: Fabian, you alight to the clock. As you touch the clock, dancing on the clock, it's like you're dancing on a gyroscope. You look down and you see the clocks are shifting, shifting, shifting, and you suddenly see, face sunken, eyepatch, sort of patchy white hair, sort of dusty, dirty old varsity jacket, dentures fall out of your own face.

1:13:34 Old Fabian: I never got to be a maximum legend...

1:13:38 Fabian: We have to go now! Let's wrap this shit up!

1:13:44 Old Fabian: Maximum legend!

1:13:48 Brennan: Fabian, any bonus actions, or that's all good? That's your turn?

1:13:51 Lou: Would you let me yell at all the wizards in here as a bonus action?

1:13:54 Brennan: Yeah.

1:13:56 Fabian: Wizards of the mall, have you ever wanted to beat the shit out of a jock who made fun of you in high school?

1:14:04 Brennan: Unanimously,

1:14:04 Wizards: Yes!

1:14:06 Fabian: There are several who have gathered here today to cause terror. Lay into them with your bolts of fire and your other wizard shit.

1:14:18 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion check. 15 you get 1, 20, you get a bunch. If you get a 25 Persuasion, you get 'em all.

1:14:29 Emily: You get a mall.

1:14:29 Lou: Dammit!

1:14:30 Brennan: You get a mall.

1:14:30 Lou: It's 11.

1:14:32 Brennan: 11, so you see that all of them say,

1:14:35 Wizards: But we have witnessed the rage stars take them over. Jocks at heart, we know they are not.

1:14:42 Fabian: Oh, come on!

1:14:43 Brennan: You see that a mall cop in the back says,

1:14:45 Mall Cop: I have to ask you not to stand on the clock!

1:14:48 Adaine: Fuck, I'm so sorry I brought him. I really thought he would be helpful.

1:14:50 Fabian: Adaine, come on!

1:14:50 Adaine: I'm sorry! The handbook said he’d be helpful!

1:14:52 Customer: I'm still waiting for my strudel!

1:14:55 Adaine: Just one second, sir!

1:14:57 Brennan: Fabian, that's your turn?

1:14:57 Lou: That's my turn.

1:15:00 Brennan: Kalina kneels down next to Cassandra, still stunned and choking, presses down on her chest. [coughs] The shrimp pops out, and you see that Cassandra looks up and says,

1:15:14 Cassandra: Kalina.

1:15:16 Brennan: Kalina's yellow eyes go red and she goes,

1:15:20 Kalina: I liked you better as the Nightmare King.

1:15:23 Brennan: And slits her throat. [Siobhan gasps] Zac and Ally’s jaws drop.

1:15:27 Adaine: [whispering] She's dead. Kristen, your god is dead again. You're gonna fail junior year! Gotta get her back!

1:15:35 Brennan: You see, as she's bleeding, she does not want to die, and that red vein reappears and blood gushes out of her throat as she goes,

1:15:44 Cassandra: Why would you betray me? I... [gurgling]

1:15:48 Brennan: You see that the object of her rage is no longer you. You healed her. But she looks at Kalina as like, I'm going to kill you.

1:15:56 Riz: Not to defend, I don't know how I feel about Kalina at the moment, but she's been possessed. She's not doing this on her own accord.

1:16:04 Brennan: Riz, speaking of, it is your turn.

1:16:05 Murph: Oh no!

1:16:05 Ally: But she didn't get bigger.

1:16:07 Murph: Yeah. Yeah, oh wow. Point of clarification, when she said "Rock Barkrock," was she struggling to say Barkrock, or was she saying Ragh Barkrock?

1:16:20 Brennan: It sounds like she said Ragh Barkrock.

1:16:23 Murph: Okay. Pass that along to you guys.

1:16:25 Fabian: Oh.

1:16:25 Riz: Do we go get Ragh somehow, or is that a thing for the future?

1:16:30 Siobhan: It would take two actions for me to go get Ragh.

1:16:33 Murph: Okay.

1:16:34 Brennan: I'm also going to, from the attacks that did hit, I'm gonna roll saves for Cassandra. [dice rolling] No natural ones there, and then there was a crit, so she's gonna roll with disadvantage. No natural ones there.

1:16:50 Murph: Okay, is Cassandra at zero health and dying, or just very injured?

1:16:56 Brennan: She is a goddess, and she's right next to one of her priests. It looks like Kalina has dropped her to zero.

1:17:03 Murph: Okay, I am going to do something risky.

1:17:06 Brennan: Okay.

1:17:07 Murph: I'm going to unfortunately stop flossing and break the Concentration on Tasha's Hideous Laughter.

1:17:15 Brennan: Copy that.

1:17:16 Murph: I'm gonna look at Kalina and say,

1:17:18 Riz: Kalina, we have unfinished business.

1:17:20 Murph: And I'm gonna cast Compelled Duel on Kalina.

1:17:23 Brennan: Okay.

1:17:24 Murph: And then I'm going to use an action to hide.

1:17:26 Brennan: I will say, you guys have fought Kalina in the past, so I'll let you know that she does not have legendary resistances.

1:17:31 Emily: Never mind, then.

1:17:31 Murph: The question is, do I... She's gonna fucking down me so quick if I don't hide, so I have to take the risk and do a flat roll, so I can't hide yet. So flat Wisdom roll against my save, which is 15.

1:17:50 Brennan: Kalina… [brings out the Box of Doom] Kalina needs a nine or higher on the die.

1:17:53 Murph: To save?

1:17:53 Brennan: To save. Eight or lower means she fails.

1:17:57 Murph: Okay.

1:18:01 Brennan: 10, saves.

1:18:01 Siobhan: That's a three.

1:18:02 Brennan: That's a three!

1:18:02 Murph: Thank god.

1:18:05 Brennan: So what is this? Is it magic flavored? Or is this just an ability of Riz? Do you feel that this is magic?

1:18:13 Murph: I think this is just my connection to Kalina, kind of. I just lock eyes with her.

1:18:18 Siobhan: “You and me, behind the school!”

1:18:19 Brennan: As she slits the throat, she smiles, hears your voice.

1:18:25 Kalina: Stickin' up for me. Just like your old man.

1:18:30 Brennan: That's your turn, and then you're not hiding?

1:18:33 Murph: I am gonna hide now.

1:18:33 Brennan: Hide now, cool cool cool. [die rolling]

1:18:38 Murph: Okay, okay. I'm so scared of Kalina.

1:18:41 Brennan: What's the Stealth roll?

1:18:42 Murph: 29.

1:18:44 Lou: Not bad. One short of godlike.

1:18:46 Murph: But I bet you she's got good Perception.

1:18:48 Brennan: 29's really, really good.

1:18:50 Ally: Compelled Duel is, she has to drop everything and come fight you?

1:18:54 Murph: Yeah. "On a failed save, a creature is drawn to you, compelled by your divine demand. For the duration, it has disadvantage on attack rolls against creatures other than you and must make a Wisdom saving throw each time it attempts to move to a space that is more than 30 feet away from you. If it succeeds on the save, this spell doesn't restrict the target's movement that turn."

1:19:09 Brennan: Time for the rage mages.

1:19:12 Murph: And no one attack Kalina, by the way, 'cause it'll break the Compelled Duel.

1:19:15 Brennan: Fabian, you goaded two of them, right?

1:19:16 Lou: 16 and 19.

1:19:16 Brennan: Cool. Hugely significant. These two are going to rush up and each try to climb the clock to kill Fabian.

1:19:29 Fabian: Mall cop, is this not—

1:19:31 Mall Cop: I'm not legally allowed to touch or cast spells.

1:19:35 Fabian: Oh, come on!

1:19:35 Adaine: Come on, man.

1:19:36 Fabian: They're destroying property. Isn't that what you get the most mad—

1:19:39 Mall Cop: I haven't seen them destroy property yet. I'm not allowed to. I can't predict in that way.

1:19:44 Adaine: You're not a divination wizard?

1:19:46 Mall Cop: No! I'm a transmuter!

1:19:50 Brennan: And then this guy here is gonna move in on Cassandra as well. Gorgug, you're gonna get an attack of opportunity on him.

1:19:58 Zac: Reckless.

1:19:58 Brennan: Go for it. [dice rolling]

1:20:01 Zac: 22.

1:20:03 Brennan: That is going to hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

1:20:06 Zac: Three plus eight.

1:20:08 Brennan: 11. Axe thunks into him. He is bloodied as he moves away. This is gonna be a truly tremendous amount of dice rolling. We've got one, two, three, four, five. We'll start with the ones that are attacking Fabian. They each need the DC

1:20:27 Siobhan: How good is that centaur at climbing?

1:20:29 Brennan: Centaur will roll with disadvantage.

1:20:31 Lou: Okay, thank you. Thank you.

1:20:32 Zac: Just upper body, dragging a full horse.

1:20:35 Brennan: So he needs the lower of these two to be a 13. That's a natural one. [yelps] Beefs it. And then the other one's gonna roll.

1:20:41 Siobhan: Breaks one of his legs. Somebody comes out and shoots him in the head.

1:20:43 Brennan: Each of these guys cannot climb and is gonna move and just hurl tables at Fabian. That's a hit.

1:20:53 Lou: Okay.

1:20:54 Brennan: That's a miss.

1:20:56 Fabian: Oh!

1:20:57 Brennan: Fabian, you get slammed with a table. God, that's a bad roll. For 10 points of damage.

1:21:03 Lou: Great.

1:21:03 Fabian: Is that not property damage? Come on, man!

1:21:07 Mall Cop: Harming the mall's property will not pay!

1:21:11 Brennan: You see the mall cop begins to cast some kinda spell.

1:21:13 Fabian: Yeah, all right! There it is!

1:21:15 Brennan: You see he goes,

1:21:15 Mall Cop: By the power of the seven stars, the astral mall, come to my beck and call!

1:21:21 Brennan: Fwing! And the tables that were thrown vanish in a blast of light, and the tables are replaced with new astral tables.

1:21:29 Fabian: Dammit!

1:21:30 Gorgug: They got infinite ammo.

1:21:33 Brennan: Now the rage mages are going to attack Cassandra. This one here is gonna use a Whirlwind Attack, which is going to automatically destroy this second to last rage star, minimum damage.

1:21:47 Siobhan: Phew.

1:21:48 Brennan: That one's at full health. The other one was the one Adaine wounded. And then is gonna catch and Kalina. By catching Kalina in damage, she is going to use her Misty Escape feature, turn invisible, and teleport, so she is... What's the range of your See Invisibility?

1:22:08 Siobhan: 10 feet.

1:22:08 Brennan: 10 feet, okay. She is beyond 10 feet, so you are not certain where on the battlefield she is.

1:22:14 Murph: If she moves more than she has to do a saving throw.

1:22:17 Brennan: She is not moving more than 30 feet away from you. So Riz, that's information that I think you would actually know based on your own spell.

1:22:24 Murph: Great.

1:22:25 Brennan: That she is outside of 10 feet of Adaine. She knows Adaine can see invisibility.

1:22:28 Murph: Great.

1:22:28 Riz: She's around!

1:22:28 Adaine: Okay.

1:22:31 Brennan: Now we're gonna resolve these attacks. This is a tremendous amount of rolls that are happening. I'm gonna need Dexterity saving throws from Adaine and Kristen.

1:22:39 Siobhan: And this is a spell?

1:22:40 Brennan: No, this is just a special attack. She's just going nuts with her staff. Ally shrugs at their roll. Murph laughs silently, his shoulders moving slightly.

1:22:45 Siobhan: And I can't Shield? Ally shrugs again. [Murph bursts out laughing]

1:22:48 Brennan: No, it's not AC. [to Ally] What'd you roll?

1:22:51 Ally: Bum bum bu ba-da dum. Nine.

1:22:55 Murph: Beardsley rolled okay, and then went through every level of emotion while thinking about the math. Rolled a 12 and then was just like, “Okay! Hmm... No, no, no, no.”

1:23:07 Ally: And now I'm to acceptance.

1:23:08 Siobhan: I got an 18.

1:23:09 Brennan: Each of you is going to take... You got a 15 on your save last time, right?

1:23:14 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:23:15 Brennan: Okay, so wait, you do—

1:23:15 Siobhan: In con.

1:23:15 Brennan: Yes, yes, yes. You save, Kristen does not.

1:23:19 Ally: Really? [Emily laughs]

1:23:23 Brennan: 31 damage to Kristen, 15 to Adaine.

1:23:28 Ally: Kristen kinda sits down for a minute, 'cause she's knocked out, she's down.

1:23:33 Siobhan: Oh no.

1:23:33 Brennan: Oh no.

1:23:35 Siobhan: Does anybody else have heals?

1:23:37 Emily: I do.

1:23:37 Siobhan: Okay, great.

1:23:39 Lou: [laughs] Are we sure about that?

1:23:41 Emily: No, we are not sure about that.

1:23:41 Lou: Are they safe?

1:23:43 Murph: Yeah, that inspiration was—

1:23:44 Emily: We are not sure about that. It'll be my turn at some point.

1:23:50 Zac: A lukewarm, uncooked shrimp.

1:23:55 Murph: Now you have Bardic Shrimpspiration. [Siobhan laughs]

1:23:58 Emily: Shrimpspiration!

1:23:58 Lou: Shrimpspiration.

1:24:03 Brennan: Okay, we have to roll a truly absurd amount of saving throws. Cassandra is pummeled by these rage mages. As a goddess, she cannot die right here because Kristen and Craig are still out there.

1:24:16 Siobhan: Oh god. So we've got to keep Kristen alive to keep Cassandra alive.

1:24:20 Brennan: However, she's going to roll a bunch of saving throws. [dice rattling ominously] And as she is stunned, she's gonna roll them with disadvantage.

1:24:30 Lou: These are for more rage stars?

1:24:32 Brennan: No, you see that with that vein of red in her, as she's being attacked, I think you see that as the attacks pile on top of her, it is to trigger something in her.

1:24:44 Lou: Hmm. [dice rolling]

1:24:47 Lou: Mm-mm.

1:24:50 Brennan: This'll be the most d20s [dice rolling] I've ever rolled in the Box of Doom.

1:24:53 Lou: And you're just looking for nat ones?

1:24:55 Brennan: Just looking for nat ones. [dice rolling] Second rage mage. [dice rolling] Third rage mage. [dice rolling]

1:25:04 Siobhan: Please, Cassandra. Please.

1:25:04 Zac: Please.

1:25:08 Lou: Yeah, we all pray to Cassandra in this moment.

1:25:10 Siobhan: I believe in you, Cassandra.

1:25:12 Lou: Cassandra, I actually know you can't hear this right now.

1:25:15 Siobhan: I believe in you, 'cause I can see you right here in front of me. [dice rolling]

1:25:21 Siobhan: Fuck.

1:25:22 Brennan: It is triggered. It will be successive. All of them striking Cassandra, she comes to, and a transformation begins.

1:25:35 Siobhan: Oh god. [players groaning nervously]

1:25:37 Siobhan: Oh no, she's gonna look so cool.

1:25:39 Brennan: Towering over, Cassandra stands to her feet. A transformation begins that will complete on her next turn unless something happens that stops it.

1:25:51 Ally: What's that ska dance called?

1:25:54 Lou: Skanking.

1:25:54 Siobhan: Skanking.

1:25:55 Brennan: Skanking. Figueroth Faeth, that is your turn.

1:25:58 Emily: I think we've got to get Kristen up. I think Kristen's the only one that can bring her down. So most important thing, bonus action Healing Word Kristen for... [clears throat] Two fours, look at that! ?: Woohoo!

1:26:17 Emily: Why don't you go ahead and take 13?

1:26:23 Kristen: [gasps and coughs] What the fuck?

1:26:25 Emily: I wanna do something more fun, but I think I'll just Eldritch Blast, twice, the shard.

1:26:31 Brennan: Oh, sick. Go for it.

1:26:35 Emily: 19 on the die is gonna become a 28.

1:26:37 Brennan: That's gonna do it.

1:26:37 Lou: Bop bop.

1:26:39 Emily: All right. That's eight points of damage. Does a 13 hit?

1:26:51 Brennan: 13 does not hit.

1:26:53 Emily: All right, then. That's my turn. It feels good to be me.

1:26:58 Brennan: You get Kristen up, attack one of the shatter-stars. As you do, you see Conor turns to you and says,

1:27:06 Conor Counterspell: [growls] What should I do now?

1:27:11 Fig: You need to save Cassandra!

1:27:12 Conor Counterspell: [growls angrily]

1:27:14 Fig: See that guy next to you?

1:27:17 Conor Counterspell: Yeah?

1:27:18 Fig: He was talkin' shit about you. He said you can't Counterspell!

1:27:20 Conor Counterspell: [roars furiously]

1:27:22 Fig: He called you Canter Counterspell!

1:27:25 Conor Counterspell: [confused] Can't or Counterspell? Or Canter, like how a horse canters?

1:27:31 Fig: Yeah.

1:27:32 Conor Counterspell: Canter? I fucking hate horses!

1:27:36 Fig: Attack the guy next to you.

1:27:37 Adaine: Wow, did you hear that?

1:27:37 Siobhan: To the centaur.

1:27:39 Adaine: Wow, did you hear him say that?

1:27:40 Brennan: [roars] Gorgug, that is your turn.

1:27:43 Zac: Eeh, okay. Should I try to kill this last ball? I can kinda do damage to these guys, it seems like.

1:27:52 Murph: I feel like that ball does have to go.

1:27:54 Emily: The ball has got to go.

1:27:54 Lou: The ball's gotta go.

1:27:56 Siobhan: Yeah, if the ball doesn't go, it's gonna get into one of us.

1:27:58 Ally: The Ball.

1:28:00 Lou: The Ball can stay, but this ball?

1:28:02 Zac: I'm gonna go... Kristen will go before Cassandra goes, right?

1:28:07 Emily: Yeah.

1:28:07 Zac: Okay. : Kristen's coming up soon.

1:28:08 Zac: I'm gonna go here. I'm gonna smack the ball.

1:28:10 Murph: Smack the ball.

1:28:14 Lou: But not The Ball.

1:28:14 Murph: Not The Ball. Smack a ball.

1:28:17 Zac: Okay, 22 to hit.

1:28:17 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:28:19 Zac: First one. 5 plus 8, 13 damage to the ball.

1:28:24 Brennan: Still up, looking bad.

1:28:27 Zac: Oh shit, so that one wasn't hurt at all?

1:28:28 Brennan: That one was not hurt at all.

1:28:29 Zac: Okay.

1:28:29 Emily: Oh. Well, I could've cast a cantrip.

1:28:34 Zac: That's a crit.

1:28:34 Ally: Nice.

1:28:36 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:28:36 Zac: Finally.

1:28:37 Brennan: 3d12.

1:28:44 Zac: 8, 15, 24, plus 8, 32 damage.

1:28:49 Brennan: Gorgug, you bring the Heavy Metal Axe—

1:28:51 Zac: Sort of wasted on this guy.

1:28:53 Brennan: Shatter-star's gone. The tiny halfling mage behind you says,

1:28:54 Halfling Mage: Ha! You've saved me from whatever that terrible orb was trying to do! Some study is required to see what effect—

1:29:03 Gorgug: Do you see what's going on around you and how many times it's already happened?

1:29:07 Halfling Mage: Hm?

1:29:08 Gorgug: What were you doing at the base of this escalator?

1:29:10 Halfling Mage: I'm heading to Armour, Zombie and Lich. It's where you get all your undead minions.

1:29:16 Gorgug: Interesting. Well, I'm done talking to you.

1:29:21 Brennan: Bonus action from Gorgug?

1:29:23 Zac: Bonus action, I'm gonna Frenzy on the person right in front of me next to Kristen.

1:29:27 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it.

1:29:29 Zac: That's a nat 20.

1:29:29 Ally: Yes!

1:29:31 Brennan: Go for it. The Heavy Metal Axe does something on nat 20s, right?

1:29:34 Zac: Oh, yes it does.

1:29:35 Brennan: It knocks them down or something?

1:29:36 Zac: On nat 20s, because I have, you know, Zelda's mixtape, I knock people prone.

1:29:43 Lou: Oh, he still listens to it? Ooh.

1:29:44 Fig: Gorgug, are you listening to your ex's mixtape?

1:29:46 Gorgug: No, I just haven't gotten a new one yet.

1:29:49 Adaine: I mean, look, I guess if you like it—

1:29:49 Gorgug: Here, I guess we're at the mall. I'll get another mixtape, if they have one.

1:29:53 Riz: They don't sell mixtapes.

1:29:54 Gorgug: They don't sell mixtapes? Where do you buy mixtapes?

1:29:56 Fig: I sell mixtapes!

1:29:57 Riz: They sell compilations. It's not a mixtape.

1:29:59 Adaine: You could get Now That's What I Call Music #875.

1:30:02 Riz: That's not a mixtape, that's a compilation.

1:30:03 Fabian: No, Bards and Nobles definitely still has CDs.

1:30:06 Murph: Riz comes out of hiding to argue.

1:30:08 Ally: Kalina slits your throat. [Murph gurgling] [Emily laughs]

1:30:13 Zac: On a crit, I don't think it does anything.

1:30:16 Brennan: Okay, maybe that's just Zelda's mixtape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.

1:30:18 Zac: Okay.So I will roll 3d12 plus 8.

1:30:22 Emily: Come on.

1:30:22 Siobhan: Come on.

1:30:23 Emily: Nothing but 12s, nothing but 12s.

1:30:24 Siobhan: Come on, 12s. 10, I'll take it.

1:30:27 Zac: 19 plus 8.

1:30:29 Brennan: Oof!

1:30:30 Zac: 27 damage, and they're knocked prone.

1:30:33 Lou: Get 'em.

1:30:33 Brennan: 27 damage, knocked prone. Bam.

1:30:36 Zac: Automatically.

1:30:36 Brennan: Automatically. Ooh, that one is now bloodied. Boom! As that rage mage goes prone, Gorgug, at the end of your turn, Cassandra continues to grow. [growling]

1:30:52 Siobhan: Oh no.

1:30:52 Brennan: Now riddled with red veins.

1:30:55 Lou: Three point stance. Nasty.

1:30:58 Brennan: And she is going to fire a cantrip. Actually, the one that is prone, which I believe is 13, and is going to deal 20 points of damage to her. She reaches out and goes,

1:31:12 Cassandra: Stop fucking hitting me!

1:31:15 Brennan: And just blasts this red hot light. On that nat 20, she no longer has turned her anger towards you, but the anger is still filling her, right? So she's joined you as an ally in this fight, but something is still going on. That is Gorgug's turn. Kristen Applebees, you're up.

1:31:33 Siobhan: No pressure.

1:31:33 Ally: Yeah.

1:31:34 Siobhan: But your god is turning into a Nightmare King again.

1:31:37 Brennan: You also did an Insight roll before. You do not believe that she is turning into the Nightmare King.

1:31:44 Ally: Will she be okay? Does she want help dispelling this? Or does she just need to be angry right now, and we need to focus on why the fuck Kalina just slit her throat, or trying to find Kalina?

1:31:53 Brennan: Give me an Insight check with advantage. Call it 15, 20, 25 is good, better, best.

1:32:03 Ally: That is a 17.

1:32:06 Brennan: 17, okay. On a 17 Insight, in the pitch of battle, you asked, is the rage good? Should we let her be raging? I will let you get Insight into what is happening to her or get Insight into what you should do.

1:32:22 Ally: What I should do.

1:32:23 Brennan: Okay, so instead of interrogating, is this the Nightmare King? Is this whatever, is this whatever? You're just like, "What should we do?" There was a moment right after she talked to Fig, right after she talked to Fig, when she was talking to you and was like, "I'm just a little scared, da da da," where she said, "No, I'm pissed." There was a moment that she was talking to you where the quality of that light changed. Something was different. The light that is in her right now is a thrumming, hot, destructive thing that looks like it's hurting her. You can see it's breaking her body apart. It's giving her power, she's getting larger, but it's hurting her and it's making her lose control. So it's like you saw a good version of this, and this ain't it.

1:33:12 Ally: Okay, is there some sort of... Banishment, Cure Wounds?

1:33:21 Brennan: If you wanna use a spell in a novel way, I'm totally open to it.

1:33:25 Ally: Okay, great. I am going to jump on her back.

1:33:31 Brennan: Okay.

1:33:31 Ally: And hug her.

1:33:33 Brennan: Yeah.

1:33:34 Ally: And say,

1:33:34 Kristen: There's plenty of time to be angry! We can definitely talk this through, and your anger is not scary to me. I totally understand.

1:33:41 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:33:42 Ally: And use, 'cause my Staff of Doubt now has charges and spells.

1:33:45 Brennan: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

1:33:47 Ally: So I wanna kind of hold my staff over her heart and kind of hold her like this and cast either Greater Restoration or Dispel Magic, whichever one you think would be better.

1:33:59 Brennan: I think Dispel Magic.

1:34:00 Ally: Okay, it's three to five charges based on spell level, so I'll do the five charges.

1:34:06 Brennan: Okay.

1:34:06 Ally: The highest I possibly—

1:34:07 Brennan: Highest you possibly can. Awesome. You're casting Dispel Magic. She's got this spell on her. You have a nat 20 Persuasion, which is already why she does not wanna harm you.

1:34:19 Ally: It's a tight hug. Kristen works out. She's kind of realizing how strong I've become. You don't touch someone that intimately that often.

1:34:27 Brennan: Love that.

1:34:29 Ally: “You're so much harder.” I don't know.

1:34:32 Siobhan: Wow, those nipples are—

1:34:33 Emily: No Athletics check necessary.

1:34:35 Ally: Yeah, yeah.

1:34:37 Brennan: Okay, you're adding your Wisdom modifier here.

1:34:41 Siobhan: And I believe she has advantage from Boggy from the last—

1:34:44 Ally: I do have advantage from Boggy from the last one.

1:34:46 Brennan: You have advantage from Boggy.

1:34:48 Ally: I was thinking. I totally forgot about that.

1:34:50 Brennan: I want you to roll these dice one at a time, because in the event that you fall short, there are things you can do that will allow you to roll additional dice. But let's start with the spell itself. The DC is 23. Let's get the Box of Doom out. You're rolling with advantage.

1:35:16 Ally: Oh, with advantage?

1:35:16 Brennan: Yep. Grab two.

1:35:19 Siobhan: Choose wisely. Ally picks a second d20.

1:35:21 Siobhan: I love that one. Yeah, that's a good one. [Siobhan and Emily laugh] [Lou gasps in trepidation] Zac imitates Ally’s dice shaking motions.

1:35:27 Murph: One at a time, one at a time.

1:35:29 Ally: One at a time, one at a time. 17.

1:35:31 Brennan: 17.

1:35:34 Ally: Eight, goddammit.

1:35:34 Brennan: Okay.

1:35:35 Ally: Okay, 17. I'm one away.

1:35:35 Brennan: One away. As you squeeze in tighter, I'm gonna allow you to roll one other dice just to honor that nat 20 Persuasion from before. Go ahead and roll one die free. Lou braces himself. Ally shakes the third d20 for a few seconds.

1:35:54 Lou: Come on, get 'em out! Ally rolls a 15.

1:35:58 Brennan: There's two things left that we're gonna do here, and I will allow these following two rolls to be done with advantage.

1:36:03 Ally: Okay.

1:36:06 Brennan: First one is, Kristen is giving this tight hug, crossfit. You're holding the Staff of Doubt. This is the staff your goddess gave you. You have to choose a direction to go. Do you wanna use doubt as your weapon here, or do you want to use rage as your weapon here? Do you want to approach the goddess with her own gift, or is there something in here that you wanna go with? I don't think you would think there's a wrong choice. It's just where Kristen would go in this moment.

1:36:41 Ally: I think that rage is a more powerful emotion to tap into. Doubt feels like the absence of an emotion or kind of like a creepy, creeping up emotion, and I think she's really afraid of her own anger and I wanna join her in being like, anger is okay.

1:36:58 Brennan: You said to her, "We have time for this later." You suddenly sense, as you're going deeper, you can't deal with this later. You have to say something to her as her cleric right now about her rage. You have to go in and instead of saying, "There's time later, we're in danger," she can't hear that. Is there something you say to help her understand what's happening to her?

1:37:19 Ally: I say,

1:37:19 Kristen: Your anger is a gift. It's a check engine light. Whatever it's directing you to, let's look at this right now.

1:37:27 Brennan: Roll with advantage.

1:37:29 Ally: Come on, come on! No!

1:37:36 Brennan: Two nines.

1:37:36 Ally: Two nines!

1:37:38 Brennan: You feel the anger suddenly wheel on you.

1:37:41 Ally: Goddammit.

1:37:44 Brennan: If the anger is directed at you, does Kristen still want her to explore it?

1:37:49 Ally: Yes.

1:37:50 Brennan: Go ahead and roll with advantage one last time.

1:37:52 Ally: Really?

1:37:52 Brennan: And add a d4.

1:37:54 Ally: Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit. We're switching it up. We're switching it up.

1:37:58 Lou: We're switching it up. Two nines ain't gonna cut it.

1:38:02 Ally: [drops a die] I'm so nervous! I'm nervous!

1:38:03 Brennan: Roll the d4 first.

1:38:03 Ally: Okay.

1:38:05 Brennan: Four! Okay, 14 or higher.

1:38:09 Ally: Okay, first one. Two. That's okay.

1:38:13 Brennan: Last one.

1:38:13 Murph: Do you want me to touch this next one?

1:38:14 Ally: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:38:14 Murph: I got it. We got this, we got this.

1:38:19 Brennan: Here we go. It all comes down to this, 14 or higher.

1:38:21 Lou: Get 'em out, get 'em out!

1:38:24 Siobhan: Get 'em out for the lord.

1:38:24 Ally: What the fuck? No!

1:38:28 Siobhan: Murph, you fucked it up!

1:38:28 Ally: Why?

1:38:30 Siobhan: What the fuck, Murph?

1:38:30 Ally: All right, all right! Yeah, anger isn't easy. [passes the Box of Doom back to Brennan] She kills me.

1:38:42 Brennan: That is Kristen's turn.

1:38:44 Ally: Bonus action Healing Word to myself?

1:38:48 Brennan: Yeah, do it.

1:38:48 Ally: Thank you!

1:38:50 Lou: Yes, do it, do it.

1:38:50 Brennan: Go for it.

1:38:52 Ally: Thank you, girlie! Girlie, are you still mad, girlie? Oh, is Ecaf here?

1:39:03 Emily: I Minor Illusion Ecaf.

1:39:03 Siobhan: Why would Ecaf be here?

1:39:05 Brennan: You Minor Illusion Ecaf to be here.

1:39:07 Siobhan: She technically is. She's in my jacket.

1:39:11 Brennan: Adaine.

1:39:11 Siobhan: Yeah?

1:39:12 Brennan: Cassandra is about to act.

1:39:16 Fig: Conor! Be ready to Counterspell!

1:39:22 Siobhan: Okay, I will also cast Dispel Magic on Cassandra.

1:39:27 Ally: Ooh.

1:39:27 Emily: Okay.

1:39:27 Brennan: Hell yeah.

1:39:29 Ally: Do you call her girlie, or how do you do that?

1:39:32 Siobhan: You know what, I find that supremely off-putting, and I don't think that she needs that right now.

1:39:38 Ally: What are you talking about, girlie? Hey, girlie, don't be scared.

1:39:42 Siobhan: The hands that go with it! You're taking on too much energy from these wizards.

1:39:48 Brennan: You have Dispel Magic as well. Boggy also gets the Help action anew.

1:39:52 Siobhan: So I'll have Boggy give me the Help action.

1:39:55 Emily: Come on, baby. Big crits.

1:39:55 Lou: Come on baby, big crits.

1:39:58 Ally: Big crits, baby.

1:39:58 Siobhan: Big crits!

1:40:02 Lou: Big crits, no whammies. Nonna Crit!

1:40:07 Ally: Nonna Crit!

1:40:09 Siobhan: I got a 17. Plus four? Is that right? So that's a 21.

1:40:17 Brennan: Hell yeah. You wanna take whatever Kristen's getting, I'll let you roll the same d4 I let Kristen roll.

1:40:22 Siobhan: Yeah, I'll take it.

1:40:22 Lou: So it needs to be a two?

1:40:25 Brennan: It needs to be a two or higher. We're gonna roll a d4 in the Box of Doom.

1:40:28 Ally: Oh my god.

1:40:32 Zac: One! Lou rotates his torso to face as far away from the die as possible.

1:40:34 Siobhan: Okay, I am gonna yell out,

1:40:36 Adaine: Sir, I will give you a free strudel with extra sauce if you cast Dispel Magic on this goddess right now!

1:40:43 Brennan: You know?

1:40:44 Lou: Are you about to blow the world up?

1:40:46 Siobhan: His tongue just went out. That's bad.

1:40:48 Ally: No, put your fucking tongue back! Girlie!

1:40:52 Lou: Quick, do it to him! Girlie, girlie!

1:40:55 Ally: Hey, girlie. One more roll, girlie. Come on, girlie. One more roll, come on.

1:41:00 Lou: He's gonna blow up the world. He's gonna blow up the world.

1:41:02 Brennan: Fig.

1:41:04 Emily: Yes?

1:41:07 Brennan: It's Cassandra's turn. The Dispel from Adaine fails. The other mage looks up. So I'm going to give you a choice here about what you can do, because it's about to be Cassandra's turn. You're the only one with a relevant reaction.

1:41:25 Emily: Yeah, to Counterspell.

1:41:25 Brennan: To Counterspell.

1:41:28 Siobhan: I also have Counterspell.

1:41:28 Brennan: You also have Counterspell.

1:41:31 Emily: So does Conor.

1:41:31 Siobhan: And so does Conor.

1:41:33 Ally: So does Colin.

1:41:33 Brennan: And so does Colin.

1:41:35 Siobhan: So I feel like we're good here.

1:41:37 Emily: Conor and Colin Counterspell.

1:41:40 Brennan: It is Cassandra's turn, and she is going to use a 9th level spell slot to cast Circle of Death.

1:41:50 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:41:52 Emily: So I'm gonna Counterspell. I'm gonna Counterspell. So is Conor.

1:41:53 Ally: Okay!

1:41:56 Fig: Conor, you have to Counterspell now!

1:41:59 Ally: Okay! Okay!

1:42:01 Brennan: Give me Persuasion with advantage on Conor Counterspell.

1:42:06 Emily: Actually, my Persuasion's good.

1:42:07 Ally: You're telling me I told my god something my therapist told me, and now she's gonna kill me?

1:42:12 Emily: 19.

1:42:12 Lou: Your anger is a check engine light?

1:42:14 Emily: 19.

1:42:15 Brennan: 19? Conor looks up and says,

1:42:21 Conor: This is not the one for me to Counterspell.

1:42:24 Fig: Yes, it is! It would harm Kristen, and that is who we're—

1:42:28 Conor: Counter the spell you see. I shall counter mine.

1:42:32 Brennan: And he whips his staff back in his hand. The Circle of Death is about to go off, so I'm gonna need Counterspells. It's a 9th level spell slot, but the DC is 19.

1:42:39 Emily: [unsure] Okay. I add five. Okay, so I need— Siobhan raises her arm triumphantly.

1:42:44 Brennan: Did it? Hell yes.

1:42:44 Ally: What'd you get?

1:42:47 Siobhan: I got an 18 plus 4, 22.

1:42:47 Zac: [puts a hand over his chest] Oh my god.

1:42:51 Brennan: Circle of Death is banished. Conor Counterspell says—

1:42:58 Fig: Was that you?

1:42:58 Conor: Remember me! [roars]

1:43:02 Brennan: Hurls his quarterstaff into the center of the clock, shatters it.

1:43:09 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:43:09 Gorgug: Fabian!

1:43:11 Brennan: Fabian, you begin to fall. All of you who are falling—

1:43:16 Fig: This was not part of the Suggestion!

1:43:18 Brennan: He says,

1:43:18 Conor: I have always loved you! Wait, how old are you?

1:43:24 Fig: 45!

1:43:26 Conor: Oh, gross!

1:43:28 Fig: What?

1:43:28 Gorgug: Gross?

1:43:29 Fabian: Gross?

1:43:31 Brennan: All of you fall through shifting clocks. Swimming astral sea. Kristen, you watch as Cassandra grows taller and taller, screaming. As all of you begin to fall, you see she reaches out, throws a spell of some kind of attack at you, but glimmering shards of twilight energy follow you out through the astral clocks. All of you suddenly land through a synod door immediately outside Seacaster Manor at the time 10 seconds prior to all of you going through the portal, except Adaine, who at this time was already in Oodles of Strudel working her shift. So you have 10 seconds to talk to your former selves before they jump. The right side of the table bursts into a flurry of activity while the players on the left side is left stunned.

1:44:18 Fabian: Don't eat any fucking shrimp!

1:44:19 Kristen: Bless, Bless!

1:44:19 Riz: There's red things! You need to destroy them! [shaking Riz’s head] Bring Ragh Barkrock with you!

1:44:24 Fabian: Don't eat shrimp! Don't eat shrimp!

1:44:25 Riz: Do not let them get into anybody!

1:44:26 Brennan: All of them go, "Don't eat shrimp!" and jump through the portal.

1:44:33 Fabian: What did you say, The Ball?

1:44:35 Riz: I was saying don't let the red things go!

1:44:38 Ally: I said cast Bless immediately, so hopefully I cast a 3rd level Bless.

1:44:42 Brennan: A 3rd level Bless.

1:44:44 Ally: I said, support your friends!

1:44:45 Brennan: All of you are now in front of Seacaster Manor and you hear the first cars opening, and you see Mazey walking up, going,

1:44:50 Mazey: What's up, gang?

1:44:55 Fig: You ready for the shrimp jump?

1:44:59 Lou: Wait, we just went through everything we went through, right?

1:45:00 Brennan: Yeah.

1:45:02 Emily: But we're 10 seconds before. It's just time to throw the party.

1:45:07 Ally: Wait, we're not going back?

1:45:09 Brennan: Conor Counterspell threw a staff through the clock to get all of you out of there before whatever happened, happened. Cassandra is back in that fight. In other words... In other words, Conor Counterspell has just saved all of you from whatever was just about to happen in the wizards' mall.

1:45:25 Zac: Wait, is Adaine still there?

1:45:25 Brennan: Nope.

1:45:28 Zac: Okay.

1:45:29 Brennan: Anyone can make an Arcana check to understand time loops.

1:45:33 Emily: Nat 20.

1:45:35 Lou: Nat one.

1:45:36 Brennan: Fig, you—

1:45:38 Fig: What are you guys talking about? [eyes widen] Wait, I get it.

1:45:42 Brennan: Fig, all of those events are going to unfold in there, leading back to this moment with you guys coming out through here, with the exception of, as you guys all jumped through there, in this version of events, you got yelled at briefly and confusingly by six of you before jumping in there and having this exact encounter.

1:46:00 Riz: Okay, so did we win?

1:46:04 Ally: Can I try to talk to Cassandra?

1:46:06 Brennan: Yeah, you can reach out and talk to Cassandra.

1:46:10 Ally: I don't wanna say anything. Can I just listen?

1:46:13 Brennan: You listen.

1:46:14 Ally: Can I just open up the channel of communication and…

1:46:17 Brennan: Listen.

1:46:26 Voice: [exhales ominously] She is at my side once more.

1:46:37 Ally: So she is the death?

1:46:38 Zac: Is that Cassandra?

1:46:43 Ally: That's the Nightmare King talking about Kalina?

1:46:47 Siobhan: No.

1:46:47 Murph: No?

1:46:48 Emily: Cassandra?

1:46:51 Ally: Did Cassandra turn back into the Nightmare King and someone is by her side once more?

1:46:56 Siobhan: Is Cassandra a lesser god serving a more powerful god?

1:47:01 Voice: Do you wish for divinity?

1:47:07 Kristen: To serve, or to be, myself?

1:47:12 Voice: You have opened yourself to listen. Do you wish to listen?

1:47:17 Kristen: Yes.

1:47:19 Voice: Good. I shall give you a master you deserve.

1:47:26 Brennan: Red, crackling light, and a slimy, rotting set of block letters that says Yes with an exclamation mark is shunted out of a portal. [squelches]

1:47:41 Fig: We've got to clear this before the party.

1:47:43 Ally: I cast Banishment on the Yes!. [Emily laughs]

1:47:48 Kristen: Thank you, kind master. I will cherish it. Who do I serve? Who am I speaking to?

1:47:57 Lou: Serve? [laughs]

1:48:00 Voice: I am coming for you. And when I find you, I will break you in a way that none who loved you will recognize the ruin I have wrought. Lean your soul in closer, that I might give you more than words.

1:48:26 Ally: Okay, yeah, I cut this off.

1:48:31 Brennan: You get some images of a shattered mall, of fractions of these red glass stars collecting shards of blue astral mall, the corpses of dead wizards floating in astral space, strudel streaming out of a portal endlessly in sort of oblivion.

1:48:52 Ally: Can I do an Arcana or Religion check to find out what happened to her? Potentially who I— Do I have any context for who I was speaking to or where Kalina fucking went?

1:49:02 Brennan: Yeah, give me a Religion check.

1:49:06 Ally: Okay, that is a… 19.

1:49:11 Brennan: Looking at all of this here, you do not feel the presence of another divinity, but yet something divine has happened. I think what you know is that there is some rage working within Cassandra that was prompted by those stars, that was prompted by those shattering things. So I think all of your questions come back to them. That's what started this. Obviously it began within Cassandra's chest, though, and you keep coming back to that term, I thought you were dead. You hear, "I thought you were dead," and you look down and see this dead— You banished it, but you see the slime left by the dead, rotting god that you summoned in your freshman year, and you suddenly remember that the wizard synod, the Synod of Spire, this mall, was in the Astral Realm.

1:50:06 Zac: When Cassandra was saying, "I thought you were dead," would she be talking about Yes!, or is that something else?

1:50:10 Emily: I think so.

1:50:12 Ally: She knew very much about Yes!.

1:50:14 Murph: That's why she, that's the example of—

1:50:16 Emily: Okay, if it's a rotting Yes!, did your god turn into toxic positivity?

1:50:23 Ally: I think so. Oh no. Okay, okay.

1:50:30 Zac: Do we talk to... Where's Ragh?

1:50:33 Riz: Ragh?

1:50:35 Fabian: Is Ragh here yet?

1:50:35 Ally: Ragh Barkrock.

1:50:37 Brennan: As you say that, I don't think it would be intuitive that it's Yes!, because Yes! slid out like a dead, flat joke.

1:50:46 Ally: Okay.

1:50:47 Brennan: You think whatever that voice was slid Yes! out to you and said, "I'll give you a master you deserve."

1:50:50 Emily: Oh, okay.

1:50:53 Brennan: You know what I mean?

1:50:55 Emily: A fun little joke.

1:50:55 Brennan: It's like a humiliation. Here's your god.

1:50:58 Ally: So when she said, "I thought you were dead," it wasn't to Yes!.

1:51:02 Brennan: It wasn't to Yes!. You don't think it was.

1:51:03 Fig: Did you ever talk to her? Did she have, like, a dad?

1:51:06 Kristen: I don't remember talking about—

1:51:06 Fig: Or relations?

1:51:07 Gorgug: What happened again with Ragh's mom? In what way did she stop—

1:51:14 Kristen: She had the crystal pushed into her?

1:51:15 Adaine: Yeah, my memory is that she was fighting a powerful demon or something.

1:51:19 Kristen: Yeah.

1:51:19 Riz: We have to ask Ragh.

1:51:21 Kristen: Let's talk to Ragh.

1:51:21 Adaine: Let's ask Ragh.

1:51:22 Brennan: You see Ragh comes out and says,

1:51:22 Ragh: Tartar, in the pool! Ramp, slicked up! We got that bad boy buttered.

1:51:30 Riz: Okay.

1:51:30 Gorgug: You wanna butter it?

1:51:33 Ragh: No, it's already buttered, dude.

1:51:35 Gorgug: But do we want to butter it?

1:51:35 Fig: I'm gonna do second coat.

1:51:36 Ragh: You wanna know why it's buttered?

1:51:37 Brennan: He takes his sweatshirt off. He's covered in butter.

1:51:39 Riz: Awesome.

1:51:39 Gorgug: You put the sweatshirt on?

1:51:41 Murph: Should we talk to Ragh while we still do the shrimp jump?

1:51:43 Emily: Yeah, I think so.

1:51:44 Gorgug: Ragh, a couple things are gonna happen at once.

1:51:48 Ragh: What's that?

1:51:48 Riz: We need to watch the shrimp jump with you.

1:51:50 Ragh: You wanna shrimp jump with me?

1:51:52 Riz: No, I wanna watch the shrimp jump with you.

1:51:54 Ragh: You wanna watch the shrimp jump with me?

1:51:56 Riz: Yes.

1:51:57 Fabian: Kristen still is going to do it, and then you, of course, as the crab king, will then follow after. But The Ball just wants to chat it up.

1:52:07 Ragh: Oh, oh, gotcha, okay. Wait, do you want me to butter it more?

1:52:11 Fabian: Yeah. I mean, of course.

1:52:13 Riz: I thought the amount of butter was fine. We didn't necessarily have to butter it.

1:52:16 Gorgug: The inside of your sweatshirt is covered in butter?

1:52:18 Ragh: Yeah, man. I buttered up. Gorgug closes his eyes in frustration.

1:52:21 Ragh: I buttered up, dude.

1:52:21 Riz: He buttered up, okay?

1:52:24 Gorgug: Ragh, it's gonna be impossible to change gears.

1:52:27 Riz: Okay, Ragh, real quick, before we watch the shrimp jump—

1:52:30 Mazey: Uh-oh!

1:52:31 Brennan: You see Mazey walks up with a bunch of seniors and is like,

1:52:34 Mazey: We getting this fucking party started?

1:52:36 Riz: Yes.

1:52:36 Fabian: Yes.

1:52:38 Riz: Yes.

1:52:38 Fabian: Yes!

1:52:39 Fig: Kristen, do you feel ready to do the shrimp jump? If you are freaking out, I'll go up there and I'll do it as you.

1:52:46 Kristen: Really?

1:52:47 Fig: Do you need that? I don't wanna take it from you is what I don't wanna do. If you're having an existential crisis—

1:52:53 Kristen: I think I'm having an existential crisis for sure, so I either roll it with disadvantage or I beg you—

1:52:59 Murph: I'll do this so that you can still hang out, but I'll cast Invisibility on you.

1:53:05 Brennan: Literally, in your moment of crisis, you are made to disappear.

1:53:08 Kristen: I'm exponentially more alone while you guys—

1:53:11 Riz: No, you're here! You're here!

1:53:15 Fabian: You're here!

1:53:16 Brennan: So you see Mazey says,

1:53:16 Mazey: So where's this fuckin' president that's gonna do the big ol' shrimp jump?

1:53:22 Emily: So I duck away, and now I'm at the top of the ramp disguised as Kristen.

1:53:28 Riz: Holy shit!

1:53:28 Emily: I wave.

1:53:29 Ally: I know I'm invisible, but I put the earpiece in. Now I'm your Secret Service.

1:53:34 Brennan: You see that the Hangman comes up to you and says,

1:53:37 Hangman: [sighs, dejected] Applebees, is it time for us–

1:53:43 Fig: It's me, Fig.

1:53:43 Hangman: [gasps] Oh my god!

1:53:46 Fig: You ready to do this? You look so cute as a shrimp.

1:53:50 Hangman: Shut up! Shut the fuck up!

1:53:53 Fig: Just take the compliment. Take the compliment.

1:53:55 Hangman: I feel kind of stupid, if I'm being honest. I am a creature of the Nine Hells! But if an archdevil likes the shrimp costume...

1:54:03 Brennan: You see it's beautiful. Torek is sitting there with her hands all covered in papier-mache and she's like,

1:54:07 Torek: I have wrought from papier-mache the greatest shrimp jumper motorcycle that e'er has been!

1:54:14 Gorgug: I don't know if butter on a ramp is—

1:54:16 Fabian: No, it's essential. Well, we had to put it down beforehand, 'cause when the crab king comes out—

1:54:23 Riz: I feel like we could've just buttered it. We could've just covered Ragh in butter.

1:54:26 Fabian: You both are fucking nerds! You don't know how to throw a fucking party!

1:54:29 Riz: It was my idea to fill the pool with tartar sauce! [hissing furiously]

1:54:32 Fabian: That's my fucking pool!

1:54:35 Brennan: We cut to Kristen. What's Kristen looking at in this moment?

1:54:39 Ally: She's staring 1,000 miles away.

1:54:42 Murph: I keep saying,

1:54:42 Riz: Kristen, you're still here! You're still here!

1:54:45 Brennan: People keep bumping into Kristen. Weird!

1:54:47 Riz: It wasn't weird that I did that. The other choice was for you to hide!

1:54:51 Fabian: The Ball, get everyone's attention. Get everyone outside by the tartar sauce.

1:54:54 Riz: Okay!

1:54:55 Brennan: Very quickly, a ton of people. Aguefort, Hudol, there are a few Mumple kids wandering in. The whole fucking town is here. Torek hits the lights. There's spots up on the ramp.

1:55:09 Torek: I stole them from the theater department! LGBT Alliance!

1:55:15 Kristen: Yeah...

1:55:16 Brennan: Oh yeah, she can't even see you. She comes up to you and she's like,

1:55:20 Torek: LGBT Alliance! I stole them! I stole the lights from the theater department! Fig disguised as Kristen gives Torek a thumbs up.

1:55:26 Torek: Classic Applebees.

1:55:29 Brennan: The spotlights hit you, the Hangman revs.

1:55:32 Emily: Okay, I rev him. I wanna blast "Crazy Train" from his radio.

1:55:39 Zac: And it's loud!

1:55:39 Emily: I'm then I'm gonna cast a Fireball into the tartar sauce pool so that it ideally catches on fire.

1:55:46 Brennan: Boom! Flaming tartar sauce pool. Fabian?

1:55:49 Lou: Bardic Inspiration to Fig.

1:55:53 Ally: I cast Bless.

1:55:56 Fabian: Residents of Elmville! As you all know, we choose a president at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy every year, and there's a new president in town! It's the one, it's the only, Kristen Applebees! [players cheering]

1:56:19 Brennan: Incredible. All right, “Kristen”. This is Dexterity. Do you have land vehicle proficiency? We've established you do. You have the ability to drive, right?

1:56:28 Emily: I don't know.

1:56:29 Zac: You've driven a couple of times.

1:56:31 Lou: And crashed.

1:56:32 Brennan: Okay, so Dex plus proficiency.

1:56:34 Emily: Okay.

1:56:35 Brennan: And you can add Fabian's Bardic Inspiration.

1:56:39 Lou: 1d6.

1:56:40 Emily: So I'll roll a d6 first. Okay, so I'm starting with an eight.

1:56:43 Brennan: Starting with an eight. Torek is also gonna give you the Help action here.

1:56:46 Emily: Okay. Nat 20!

1:56:51 Brennan: Nat fucking 20!

1:56:55 Lou: Where was that when we were trying to save the god?

1:57:00 Brennan: So the goddess of mystery and doubt is unmade in a fractured astral mall, but you watch... Ally puts a book on their head.

1:57:08 Kristen: I love my friends. I love my friends so much.

1:57:11 Brennan: Kristen, your goddess is gone and a being whose name you do not know speaks to you with rage and malice from a realm beyond as the body of Conor Counterspell, that purple hat mall cop wizard, and whoever wanted strudel are unmade. But we cut to Elmville.

1:57:28 Emily: As I soar through the air, I jump with my feet on the seat like it's a skateboard.

1:57:37 Murph: You kickflip the motorcycle.

1:57:40 Brennan: Midair, Kristen Applebees, with a Dexterity we know she does not have—

1:57:48 Emily: I have two 4th level spells, so I throw 4th level Fireball, 4th level Fireball under me.

1:57:54 Zac: Gorgug, as he sees this, thinks, everything's gonna be okay.

1:58:00 Murph: I have my hand out on nothing and I think it's Kristen.

1:58:03 Riz: Kristen, I think this is gonna be a good campaign.

1:58:07 Kristen: [from a distance] What?

1:58:08 Riz: Shh!

1:58:09 Brennan: As the Fireballs, boom, boom, hit the tartar sauce, is the point to land in the tartar sauce or beyond the tartar sauce?

1:58:14 Emily: The idea for me is that I light the tartar sauce on fire and land in it.

1:58:20 Lou: The ramp was done to land in the tartar sauce.

1:58:22 Ally: We're dipping the shrimp into the tartar sauce.

1:58:24 Murph: It's like doing a dive into the pool.

1:58:26 Brennan: You see, time stands still. Fireballs are raining from the Hangman as Kristen kickflips it so the Hangman is roaring in midair. Fire roars out of the skull at the top of the Hangman.

1:58:37 Emily: At the zenith, I whisper,

1:58:39 Fig: Conor, this one's for you.

1:58:43 Brennan: As it lands, Seacaster Manor, its vast gardens and topiary with various hedge statues of Bill Seacaster, string lights all over them, banners. Ragh has set out all the kegs everywhere. No one knew what this was gonna be. They knew that Seacaster Manor was incredible, but they didn't know! They didn't fucking know! And they see a shrimp jump from the viral video before, and they're all seeing it for the first time! Fabian, you look out, Riz, campaign manager, you look out, and see their eyes become dewy with tears as they look out, and you see Mazey puts hands over her lips. Max Durden starts doing that finger snap. All of them begin to almost cry in religious awe as this motorcycle, and it hits tartar, [tartar sauce squelching] and you just hear a whisper from someone whose face you can't see, because it doesn't matter, because they're just speaking what's on everybody's mind.

1:59:49 Someone: This is gonna be a great year.

1:59:52 Emily: I emerge, covered in flaming tartar sauce like Daenerys.

1:59:59 Brennan: Mother of Dragons. Mother of Tartar Sauce. You come out as the Mother of Tartar Sauce. The hush... [crowd cheering uproariously]

2:00:11 Brennan: You see Ragh goes,

2:00:11 Ragh: Get up here, motherfuckers!

2:00:13 Brennan: Takes his sweatshirt off, and kids just start hitting the ramp. Ragh sails over into another yard.

2:00:19 Riz: Oh no, Ragh!

2:00:19 Gorgug: He’s too buttery!

2:00:24 Brennan: You hear [glass shattering] as someone goes through a fucking skylight in a neighbor's house.

2:00:28 Gorgug: Stop doing the ramp!

2:00:31 Riz: You don't have to butter yourself. The ramp itself is buttered.

2:00:34 Brennan: You see Torek's buttering kids left and right as they get up.

2:00:37 Riz: Okay, no no no! Un-butter the ramp, then! One butter!

2:00:39 Brennan: Mazey, her fur soaked in butter, goes,

2:00:41 Mazey: [pointing at Fabian] Maximum legend!

2:00:41 Brennan: And just goes down the ramp. And that's where we're gonna end this episode of "Dimension 20."

2:00:48 Ally: Oh my god!

2:00:50 Brennan: That's all for this episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year." Tune in next week as we pick up with the party to kick off the party house of all party houses at Seacaster Manor. See you at Basrar's!

2:01:03 Siobhan: See you at Basrar's!

2:01:05 Ally: See you in the cars.

2:01:07 Zac: We're gonna need more butter.

2:01:09 Lou: It's tough to be maximum legend when you just watched a dead zombie god slide out of the Astral Plane.

2:01:16 Ally: See you in the tartar.

2:01:16 Siobhan: See you in the tartar!

2:01:19 Brennan: See you in the tartar.

2:01:19 Zac: Wow. NEXT EPISODE - Episode 6: Party Politics [Next Time On Dimension 20] ?: Adaine, party wizard!

2:01:22 Adaine: Keep it frosty, bitches!

2:01:27 Gorgug: Ragh, you wanna take a break?

2:01:28 Ragh: I'll take a break when I break your fuckin' spine. Hoot growl, bitch! Get on the fuckin' crab mountain!

2:01:35 Gorgug: [resigned] Hoot, growl. ?: You're super into student government?

2:01:38 Kristen: Yeah, yeah. Did you see that jump earlier? ?: That was sick!

2:01:41 Kristen: That's the kinda president I'll be. ?: You're gonna do jumps like that at school?

2:01:45 Kristen: I'm gonna be kickflipping the system. ?: You fucking rule.

2:01:50 Fig: Oh, thanks. You know who's gonna rule? [Murph sobs]

2:01:57 Fig: Kristen Applebees.

2:01:58 Tracker: You made a god out of block letters, and it died on the day you made it. It's fucked up!

2:02:02 Kristen: Wow.

2:02:03 Tracker: I don't even know if you could go find another god. Your last two gods died.

2:02:05 Kristen: I just—

2:02:08 Tracker: You know how rare it is for a god to die?

2:02:10 Kristen: Yeah.

2:02:10 Tracker: Your last two!

2:02:12 Riz: We have to be really careful going forward. Kipperlilly's team is trying to get us kicked out of school.

2:02:18 Adaine: Are we not supposed to take drugs?

2:02:20 Fig: Yeah, is that a thing?

2:02:20 Adaine: We murder people! ?: It never would've been a problem when Arthur Aguefort was principal.

2:02:25 Fig: Oh.

2:02:25 Adaine: Fuck!

2:02:26 Fabian: Did any of us do drugs?

2:02:26 Adaine: You did!

2:02:26 Captions Extracted by: OliverC

2:02:26 Edited by: OliverC, gluegunshots