Cursed Out

0:00:19 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 10: Cursed Out < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] >

0:00:34 Content Warning: Loss of Bodily Function Control (Feces) [Intro Theme]

0:00:49 Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome back to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year". I'm your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our Intrepid Heroes. Say hi, Intrepid Heroes.

0:00:59 Players: Hi, Intrepid Heroes.

0:01:02 Brennan: Last we left off, boy, last one was a thick 'sode, gang.

0:01:07 Ally: Yeah.

0:01:07 Lou: As they say.

0:01:08 Brennan: Started at the Vulture Dimension, bebopped over to the Thistlespring Tree to wrap up the battle with Interim Emergency Backup Principal Arcturus Grix, slew him where he hovered, and then discovered secret goings-on underneath the stage, these sort of red stingers and a 24 point constellation underneath the stage. We went into the Far Haven Woods looking for some clues of the Rat Grinders, and indeed, found the body of one of the Rat Grinders, AKA the High 5 Heroes as long ago they were once known, as well as the body of Yolanda Badgood who apparently, to the best of your knowledge, had come here seeking the body of her former student, Lucy Frostblade. Finding both of those bodies and then giving an anonymous tip off to let the authorities know where they were so that the families could be informed, all of you headed back into observing whatever strange mystery is now unfolding in this place. Weird connections, the strange shatter-stars emerging from Cassandra as she fell in the wizards' food court, goings-on with Bakur and the gem inside of Lydia Barkrock's chest and the notes from her former adventuring party members, Cormyr and Rana, and various other odds and ends all coming together surrounding this group, the Rat Grinders, and Kipperlilly Copperkettle and her campaign for student body president. The end of last session, Riz got in a car with his mom to talk about Frosty Fair and this sort of embezzlement case that followed up on after the events at Frosty Fair. Gorgug, hitting the books once again with an A+ in barbarian classes this time around.

0:02:51 Ally: Woo!

0:02:54 Brennan: Grades slipping on the more advanced artificer stuff, but you got your MCAT signed for the back half of the year. So hopefully-

0:03:00 Zac: We're feeling good.

0:03:02 Brennan: We're feeling good, we're feeling good.

0:03:04 Zac: We're feeling bad, but we're feeling hopefully positive.

0:03:07 Brennan: That's right. And Riz and Gorgug got some extra stress tokens at the end of the last sesh. Any more disadvantage? Where is that headed to, fellas?

0:03:16 Zac: Shit, I've gotta-

0:03:17 Murph: Oh yeah, I think I've still got to apply mine.

0:03:18 Brennan: Yeah, take a look.

0:03:18 Emily: Shoulda done it in attack.

0:03:20 Brennan: Do it in attack!

0:03:20 Murph: That's a really good idea.

0:03:22 Lou: Put it in attack.

0:03:22 Brennan: That's a great idea. Actually, I didn't allow attacking to be one of the things 'cause it didn't make sense to me. No matter how stressed you are-

0:03:28 Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:03:28 Brennan: ...you can always hit stuff. That's actually what stress is for. I had a nice talk with a pal about how stress isn't always the bad guy. Sometimes if you need to fly into combat, a little bit of stress goes a long way. We also had Adaine furious at the seemingly unwinnable state of economic affairs for teen employees in Elmville. Turns off, you can't become rich working at a soda fountain.

0:03:55 Siobhan: : Turns out yeah, you're like, oh wow, I worked for three hours. That covers the coffee that I had this morning.

0:04:02 Brennan: But we got in touch with Aelwyn Abernant, our wonderful Adaine's sister, who revealed she's been working for- (suspicious music)

0:04:10 Siobhan: The enemy!

0:04:10 Brennan: For the enemy!

0:04:12 Siobhan: Again! Aelwyn!

0:04:12 Brennan: Again! Hey, relapse is real.

0:04:15 Siobhan: I thought you were good now!

0:04:18 Zac: Aelwyn!

0:04:19 Brennan: Aelwyn! So we are going to cut back-

0:04:24 Ally: Aelwyn and the Chipmunks.

0:04:24 Brennan: Aelwyn and the Chipmunks. Aelwyn! (players squeaking) So we cut now to Adaine and Aelwyn. You've got some sandwiches. Aelwyn is sort of leaning against (light, whimsical music) the outside hood of her car. You're in Clearbrook looking at the burned down remnants of the Abernant home which, years later, have not been touched. Diplomatic immunity process means that the authorities can't come and clean up this place because it's technically Fallinel soil. It's just what it is, so there's this big old burned down house. You see Aelwyn kind of thousand yard staring off into the distance, holding a sandwich and being like,

0:05:00 Aelwyn: I mean, it's just good money, you know. They don't hardly make anything at Oakshield. You know, the first year teachers-

0:05:06 Adaine: Sure, but Cottoncandy Bitchfuck? Why are you working for her? She's awful. And what are you doing? And how are you making so much money working for her when she's a child?

0:05:17 Aelwyn: Well, that's a rather interesting point. She's incredibly loaded, and I don't think it's her family. I think her father's a real estate agent?

0:05:25 Adaine: Oh.

0:05:26 Aelwyn: And it's not, like, selling big mansions or whatever. He's just, you know...

0:05:28 Adaine: Just a guy.

0:05:30 Aelwyn: And her mum, I think she works as a clerk downtown in the bursar's office, or the treasurer's office, of the city.

0:05:37 Adaine: Sure. So what are you doing?

0:05:40 Aelwyn: Well, I'm not really supposed to tell, but-

0:05:43 Adaine: Oh, come on.

0:05:45 Aelwyn: Do you wanna make it worth-

0:05:46 Adaine: You came to my job to tell me.

0:05:47 Aelwyn: I'm... Bored.

0:05:51 Adaine: We're all bored. That's not true, I'm not bored at all. I'm just very tired.

0:05:55 Aelwyn: How are things going? Are elves teleporting in from Fallinel to bother you at your soda fountain job?

0:06:02 Adaine: I know, and it's so weird, and they don't understand that that's not appropriate. And also they don't seem to understand how being the Elven Oracle works. They think I'm just sort of like a slot machine for future ramblings? I don't know! I sometimes have a dream that's important. Seems to be mostly about me, and every now and again, I get some weird dream that I'm like, "Is this something? I don't know." But they come in and say, "Hey, what's happening with my eldest daughter's marriage proposal?" And I say, "I don't know who you are and I don't know anything about that."

0:06:38 Aelwyn: Wow. Well, you certainly had a lot of criticism for the previous Elven Oracle, and it seems to me that, you know-

0:06:45 Adaine: Look, hindsight is 50/50. I don't know what to tell you.

0:06:51 Aelwyn: I suppose so. You know, if you're not getting the financial support you need for those expensive material components, there are ways of getting money, Adaine. And you don't even have to come work for Kipperlilly. You can- I mean, there's a million things.

0:07:03 Adaine: Again, what are you doing for her? You have to tell me.

0:07:06 Aelwyn: Look, she needs me to procure certain... I think it's material components. I think I'm just smuggling. It's contraband.

0:07:15 Adaine: Oh, okay.

0:07:15 Aelwyn: I asked her, I said, you have a wizard in your adventuring party. Why doesn't he just do it? And she got very weirdly protective and she was like, Oisín can't be, you know. I have to protect him. Which could just be a grades thing, not wanting him to be expelled 'cause of how it could affect her, if she's Little Miss Overachiever.

0:07:32 Adaine: Sure.

0:07:32 Aelwyn: But effectively, the things I'm getting for her... She had some arcano-tech electrical gear.

0:07:39 Adaine: Did she? She needed that?

0:07:42 Aelwyn: Yes, certainly. I mean, you know, I can't say I'm not interested. I've kept a record of everything that she's asked for.

0:07:46 Adaine: Was one of them some kind of cloud situation?

0:07:49 Aelwyn: A cloud situation? I can't say so.

0:07:52 Adaine: Fabian had a thing stolen, and I would love for it to have been her that stole it. Oh, I would love that.

0:07:57 Aelwyn: Well, certainly I haven't stolen-

0:07:59 Adaine: A Cloud Rider.

0:07:59 Aelwyn: Oh, a Cloud Rider. Oh, she brought that up.

0:08:05 Adaine: She did? How interesting.

0:08:07 Aelwyn: But she didn't want me to-

0:08:07 Adaine: Oh, I love this. Oh, tell me everything about it.

0:08:12 Aelwyn: All right! You are salivating.

0:08:14 Adaine: I literally am.

0:08:14 Brennan: She says,

0:08:17 Aelwyn: She mentioned something about a Cloud Rider Engine. She asked if there were... There's a number of different companies that make them. They're obviously extremely expensive. So it's not like there's-

0:08:27 Adaine: Sure.

0:08:27 Aelwyn: too many different models of them. But she asked about a couple specific different models, and if it would be possible just to get schematics for one.

0:08:34 Adaine: Huh.

0:08:34 Aelwyn: And I said, you could probably just go to their website and download a PDF, if you're just looking for an owner's manual. But she was sort of confused about how that would work or something like that. So I just was...

0:08:45 Adaine: Wow. So she's stupid as well. This is great. She doesn't know how to use Google?

0:08:53 Aelwyn: I think she's afraid of doing anything on-

0:08:56 Adaine: Oh, she doesn't want it... She wants you to Google it so that it's on your computer and not hers.

0:09:03 Aelwyn: Mm-hmm.

0:09:04 Adaine: And how is she communicating with you? How is that happening? What secret text message thread are you on with her? Can I see it?

0:09:13 Aelwyn: She's never sent me a text. Only in person.

0:09:16 Adaine: Oh! Can I come next time? I will be invisible. I'll scry on you. I'm begging you, please.

0:09:26 Aelwyn: That sounds- instead of you coming with me and putting yourself in the middle of my livelihood, I think scrying on me sounds delightful.

0:09:32 Adaine: Great. I love you so much. You're great now. You're perfect.

0:09:37 Aelwyn: Oh!

0:09:37 Adaine: Thank you.

0:09:39 Brennan: She gives you a big hug and goes,

0:09:39 Aelwyn: I love you so much. The only things that have been difficult for me to get- I mean, some of the things she asks for are just very simple in terms of probably wanting to get her money's worth, if she already has me running around as her arcane errand girl. But she asked for two things that I wasn't too familiar with because they sort of fall outside of what I would call classical arcana and far more into the realm of the divine, which is a little bit outside of my purview.

0:10:05 Adaine: Okay.

0:10:08 Aelwyn: She asked me to go collect something called devil's nectar, which I had to run down and I had to go all the way to Bastion City for.

0:10:13 Adaine: Disgusting.

0:10:14 Aelwyn: And ambrosia, which I think is a little bit more commonly- I mean, I know what ambrosia is, but getting it is certainly challenging.

0:10:23 Adaine: Oh yeah, we all know what ambrosia is. But just for people who maybe wouldn't know-

0:10:27 Aelwyn: Do you not know what ambrosia is? Oh, little sister.

0:10:30 Adaine: I don't take cleric classes!

0:10:32 Aelwyn: I know.

0:10:32 Adaine: I don't care about that stuff.

0:10:34 Aelwyn: I know, you're so buff these days, running around with a sword.

0:10:35 Adaine: It's so weird.

0:10:36 Aelwyn: I can't imagine you've cracked a book in a long time.

0:10:37 Adaine: I just am like, why do I have to show that I believe in a god when I've literally seen them, do you know what I mean?

0:10:42 Aelwyn: Certainly.

0:10:42 Adaine: They're there all the time. I don't have to believe in it. It's like me believing in you. Which I do, sometimes. I do sometimes believe in you.

0:10:50 Aelwyn: (gasps) How very tender.

0:10:53 Aelwyn: You see she puts an arm around your neck and kinda gives you a noogie and is like,

0:10:55 Aelwyn: So sentimental. (smooching)

0:10:57 Siobhan: : I cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on her. (Brennan cackling)

0:10:59 Adaine: Just for old time's sake.

0:11:00 Aelwyn: I've elected to submit to this because I honestly need a laugh.

0:11:07 Brennan: She laughs a bit with you and says,

0:11:10 Aelwyn: Well, I'll keep you apprised. The next time I meet with her, I'll try to run that down.

0:11:14 Adaine: Great.

0:11:15 Aelwyn: To be honest, there are gaps in time. I mean, the longest I've gone is about three or four weeks without hearing from her. Sometimes I'll hear from her multiple times in a week. She just shows up at the school.

0:11:25 Adaine: It's just so weird that she's doing all of this, because you know how they get better? It's just, they go out into the woods and kill rats. Which is so gross and weird and also just, like, so boring? Do you know what I mean? Why are they being so boring? Like, even when you were being really evil, you were at least doing things that were interesting and cool.

0:11:44 Aelwyn: That really means a lot, and I appreciate that. (Emily laughing)

0:11:51 Aelwyn: I'm not feeling... Here, I think I'm done with my sandwich.

0:11:56 Brennan: She sort of takes you off to drive- It's a weekend day. She's like,

0:11:59 Aelwyn: Do you want to come see my apartment?"

0:12:01 Adaine: I do. We did leave my job in the middle of my lunch.

0:12:05 Aelwyn: (groans) All right.

0:12:07 Brennan: You see she says,

0:12:07 Aelwyn: Fine. Let me just drop some things off.

0:12:09 Brennan: She peels out at the corner, runs inside. It's this very small little apartment complex that's almost more like a motel. There's not even multiple stories to it. She walks into a little place. You get a look through the door of her walking into her apartment, and there's a bunch of abjuration runes and stuff like that. The fucking odor of unwashed laundry and cat urine coming from inside of her apartment is just otherworldly. There's a lot of microwave dinner trays around everywhere.

0:12:44 Adaine: Okay. Hey, you know, I don't know if you... You probably don't have laundry here, but if you ever wanna come to Mordred Manor and just do that there-

0:12:54 Aelwyn: Listen, the funky little family sort of sitcom thing going on at Mordred is honestly so wonderful and I wish everyone there the best.

0:13:03 Adaine: Sure, I mean, if you want to just cast Invisibility on yourself, come over, use the laundry, hang out in my room.

0:13:09 Aelwyn: Do you think that would be all right? The laundromat is just so-

0:13:11 Adaine: Who's gonna know?

0:13:12 Aelwyn: The hours of the laundromat don't make any sense.

0:13:14 Adaine: They don't make any sense because they're open during work hours, but then if you need to use a laundromat, you're at work.

0:13:19 Aelwyn: I'm at work, exactly. I just can't... I do genuinely care for everyone at Mordred. I just can't be in a place where I say another mean joke and everyone looks at me like, wow.

0:13:32 Adaine: Honestly, they're so nice. They're so nice, and I really do appreciate them taking me in, and sometimes I just have to hide. It's just, the niceness-

0:13:39 Aelwyn: There's so much love. The niceness.

0:13:42 Adaine: They're so nice.

0:13:44 Aelwyn: They're so nice.

0:13:44 Adaine: And I did need that, and I do need that, but there are times where it feels so messed up that I'm like, I wish somebody was a little bit mean to me sometimes.

0:13:55 Aelwyn: Honestly, I'm happy to hear you say it. I think niceness is a little bit of a curse, if I'm being honest.

0:14:00 Brennan: You see that this ancient-looking cat in her apartment just goes (croaks) and just vomits, and she goes,

0:14:05 Aelwyn: No, Hector!

0:14:05 Brennan: And goes and takes him up, and you see she starts,

0:14:09 Aelwyn: Oh, my sweet little boy is sick. What was I saying? Yeah, kindness, who needs it?

0:14:15 Brennan: And you see she wanders off into her very smelly apartment.

0:14:20 Adaine: Okay, I'll Dimension Door back to work.

0:14:22 Aelwyn: All right. I need to take care of Hector. I'm sorry, I hope you understand.

0:14:24 Adaine: No no no, no problem.

0:14:24 Aelwyn: Please don't tell Fabian... Just don't tell anyone that my apartment looks like this.

0:14:30 Adaine: You tell me when I need to scry. Just text me, just text me.

0:14:32 Aelwyn: I'll shoot you a text.

0:14:34 Adaine: I'll just keep the spell stocked at all times, so I'll be ready.

0:14:36 Aelwyn: Ta-ta.

0:14:38 Brennan: And she closes the door and moseys off. Riz!

0:14:42 Murph: Mm.

0:14:42 Lou: The Gukgak.

0:14:44 Murph: The Gukgak. You're in a car with your mom.

0:14:46 Zac: The Gukgak.

0:14:49 Emily: The Gukgak!

0:14:49 Lou: The Gukgak.

0:14:51 Brennan: The Gukgak.

0:14:51 Siobhan: Gukgak, back again!

0:14:54 Brennan: And she looks over-

0:14:54 Emily: The Gukgak is back!

0:14:55 Murph: Is this new? Did I miss something?

0:14:57 Lou: You don't remember your nickname from sophomore year? The Gukgak!

0:15:00 Ally: The Gukgak attack.

0:15:00 Murph: The Gukgak Guy.

0:15:04 Siobhan: I'm the Gukgak Guy.

0:15:05 Brennan: Yeah, you see that your mom is sort of driving you off to some extracurriculars. You might have a weekend Aviation League thing to do.

0:15:12 Riz: We meet on midnight on Saturdays and also Tuesdays, I think, and Thursdays. Unless that's Soil Club, which is on alternating days of the week.

0:15:22 Sklonda: Well, that sounds like a whole lot, darling. You're in a thing called Soil Club?

0:15:28 Riz: Yeah. You'd think that it'd be called Plant Club or something like that, 'cause we do kinda learn to grow stuff, but there's just a huge focus on soil. And I tried to talk to the mole guy about the soil and he really freaked out at me.

0:15:45 Sklonda: Wow, okay.

0:15:46 Riz: Yeah, it's been tough. But what's up... (tiredly) What's up with this weird faire, and people are dying or something?

0:15:54 Sklonda: Oh, Riz, you have to sleep, kiddo.

0:15:57 Riz: I can't, Mom. I don't have time.

0:16:00 Sklonda: Oh god. Well, sweetie, the case got suspended because my clients were, I think, murdered.

0:16:07 Riz: Okay.

0:16:10 Sklonda: Here, I can share what I was sent. I mean, obviously... You see that she has a whole defense case written up about them being charged with embezzlement, which is what caused Frosty Fair to withdraw. So the festival was supposed to happen at this place called Loam Farm outside of Elmville.

0:16:29 Riz: Got it.

0:16:30 Sklonda: And there was a married firbolg couple, Alonso and Hespia Loam. There was some evidence that they embezzled. Actually, before it went to court, just based on kinda the rumor of it, I think Frosty Fair pulled from them, and they had to find a last minute... This was back when-

0:16:45 Riz: Got it.

0:16:47 Sklonda: It was the long night, and Frosty Fair pulled in reaction to the news. But when I talked to them, you know, they didn't have enough money to hire a defense attorney, so they went with a public defender. And when I talked to them, they were adamant that they were innocent. Not that that necessarily... I mean some people will, you know-

0:17:04 Riz: Right.

0:17:06 Sklonda: But for what it's worth, I believed them. And the case we were building was actually gonna be a slam dunk. They came up to prove that there were some forgeries in documents that were submitted on their behalf.

0:17:18 Riz: Yeah, considering that the Frosty Fair we went to completely went to shit, it seems like they were probably framed or something.

0:17:26 Sklonda: That was my thought as well. It seemed like they were framed. I couldn't tell you why. The reason I had a hard time trying to prove it is there's no monetary incentive to frame the Loams for embezzlement.

0:17:38 Riz: I think they're trying to summon a demon or something. There's, like, just another thing. (exhausted) They had all these, like, runes and stuff that was, like, under the stage. There's, like, these red stars. They, like, turn people into giants.

0:17:58 Sklonda: Kiddo.

0:17:58 Riz: Yeah?

0:18:00 Sklonda: Why don't I just pull over, you take a nap. You want to just take a 10 minute nap?

0:18:03 Riz: All right, yeah, I'll take a 10 minute nap. Thank you, Mom.

0:18:06 Brennan: She pulls over the car.

0:18:06 Murph: I fall asleep instantly.

0:18:09 Brennan: You're instantly asleep. One of those foil blankets for emergencies is on you, a little space blanket. And you see your mom is sitting there. You can see it's been more than 10 minutes. It's been like an hour and a half. And she has food and a soft drink and other stuff like that. A bag of chips. Hey, kiddo.

0:18:26 Riz: Thanks, Mom. Okay.

0:18:28 Sklonda: What's going on with you?

0:18:28 Riz: So much. Just so much.

0:18:32 Sklonda: How are you so stressed out? I feel like I keep getting your report cards-

0:18:36 Riz: No, yeah.

0:18:38 Sklonda: They're all great. They're all A pluses. You're killing all your extracurriculars. Where is the stress coming from?

0:18:43 Riz: Everything's going good. It's just, everything is going, you know what I mean? It's like, we've got this... Normally it's like we're just off on an adventure, and we got the one thing that we're trying to stop, but now we have to hunker down and actually, everyone's got to do really well in school and everything, and we're all, you know, struggling to keep our grades up and do all our crazy extracurriculars, and then there's this red star thing that's making everybody go crazy. It's just a lot.

0:19:13 Sklonda: You know, you could tell some people. We could go talk to the Council of Chosen. There are adult-

0:19:21 Riz: We can't do that, Mom! There's just… We told... So, we did tell somebody, and then she got... People killed her. So it seems like telling people isn't, like, great. Mom, you have to be so careful.

0:19:43 Sklonda: Riz, you don't need to worry about me, okay? I'm very capable of protecting myself.

0:19:48 Riz: Okay, yeah.

0:19:49 Sklonda: I don't want you to put all of this pressure on you. Look, people summoning demons is really, really bad. I agree, we don't want demons running around. Did you see any demons pop out at Frosty Fair from this demon summoning thing?

0:20:04 Riz: No, but I've seen... I was at a mall... at the mall- (players laughing) Everyone at that mall was really mad, and then Fig tried to eat a shrimp. And then the shrimp, like, went into a god's mouth.

0:20:20 Ally: Keep my name out of your mouth.

0:20:24 Riz: And Fig was, like, really being weird about it. We've seen sort of... We've seen sort of the power of this demon manifest before, but I don't know what came from this summoning attempt. But they were trying to- there was stuff hidden in the lyrics, and then there were all these runes and stuff hidden under the stage. And Grix tried to stop it, and then he kinda just attacked everybody.

0:20:53 Sklonda: Okay. Are you... I know I should be worried about these demons.

0:21:01 Riz: Right.

0:21:02 Sklonda: I'm really worried about you.

0:21:04 Riz: Yeah, it's, you know, it's all good. (players snickering skeptically)

0:21:14 Riz: It's all good, Mom. It's definitely... It's definitely... We're going. We're doing it, you know? We're what, like, what month is it? October?

0:21:24 Sklonda: It's November, sweetie.

0:21:24 Riz: There we go. Perfect.

0:21:27 Emily: It's almost Christmas.

0:21:29 Brennan: I actually have a name for the midwinter holiday. At least in Solace, it's named after a halfling traditional holiday called the Moonar Yulenear.

0:21:40 Zac: Yulenear.

0:21:41 Riz: It's almost near the Yulenear. Yeah, I feel like junior year's just... We gotta kinda power through, and we don't... You know, all this work we've done, I really don't want it to be for nothing.

0:21:53 Brennan: She looks at you a little bit. Give me a Deception check. (dice rolling)

0:21:56 Murph: Oh, not bad. 14.

0:21:58 Sklonda: Yeah, a lot of work.

0:21:58 Riz: Mm-hmm.

0:22:00 Sklonda: Your friends are working really hard, too, right?

0:22:02 Riz: Yeah, in their own way. I think, yeah, everybody's actually working really hard. Maybe that wasn't true like a month ago, but everybody's really hunkered down. Fig has like three majors now.

0:22:14 Sklonda: All right.

0:22:15 Emily: Maybe four. I might take a level of wizard.

0:22:22 Brennan: You see that she looks and says,

0:22:23 Sklonda: You're a pretty hardworking kid under most circumstances. And in past years, you've been going on really big adventures and taking care of your grades. You've added a lot of extracurriculars. Something tells me you might have more than just school and a big adventure on your back, 'cause I'm looking at how overworked and tired you are.

0:22:49 Riz: I'm doing some light tutoring on the side. Just some flash card stuff.

0:22:54 Sklonda: I see all this student government stuff.

0:22:56 Riz: Yeah, yeah.

0:22:56 Sklonda: Are you-

0:22:58 Riz: So, I'm a campaign manager. Another extracurricular. Very good for the ol' scholarships.

0:23:06 Sklonda: Who's running for student president?

0:23:08 Riz: Kristen Applebees, believe it or not.

0:23:11 Sklonda: Huh. (Emily guffaws)

0:23:15 Ally: You both keep my name out of your mouth. You both keep my name out of your mouth!

0:23:22 Murph: Riz's nose bleeds. Everyone's mad at me somehow.

0:23:26 Emily: That's my president. That's my president.

0:23:30 Sklonda: So let me be clear.

0:23:30 Riz: Uh-huh?

0:23:32 Sklonda: You are working yourself... You're working yourself to the bone.

0:23:36 Riz: Mm-hmm.

0:23:37 Sklonda: You're staying up. You're not getting sleep. You're turning in A+ work while you're trying to save Elmville from a demon.

0:23:43 Riz: Uh-huh.

0:23:45 Sklonda: And you're trying to put Kristen Applebees on your back–

0:23:51 Riz: No! Kristen's-

0:23:51 Sklonda: And run over the finish line.

0:23:53 Riz: Kristen does CrossFit now. If anything, it would just be like a weighted sprint, because that's how buff she is now.

0:24:05 Sklonda: Riz-

0:24:05 Riz: We're all-

0:24:06 Sklonda: Sweetie-

0:24:06 Riz: I know!

0:24:07 Sklonda: I just want– Look! I like your friends. I just don't wanna see my son killing himself to get huge accolades for other people that call him The Ball!

0:24:21 Riz: No, but The Ball is a good-

0:24:24 Sklonda: I don't like it!

0:24:24 Riz: I know, I know.

0:24:27 Sklonda: Your name is Riz, and your friends, whom I love, I just wanna make sure that you're not being taken advantage of.

0:24:36 Riz: Yeah, I think... I know what you're saying, Ma, and look, if it was... if you were talking to me in September or October, apparently, I would've agreed with you, but November, if that's what month it is, has been our month, and I think everybody's working really hard.

0:24:59 Emily: It's been our month!

0:25:00 Riz: As long as we're talking about November. But if we slip back into October, September stuff, you'll be the first person to know.

0:25:09 Sklonda: You let me know.

0:25:09 Riz: I will.

0:25:10 Sklonda: I think my son would make a great student body president.

0:25:15 Riz: Okay.

0:25:17 Emily: Whoa-uh!

0:25:19 Ally: Join the race. (players laughing)

0:25:24 Sklonda: Is there anything else you wanted to know about the Frosty Fair stuff, sweetie?

0:25:26 Riz: Yeah. Okay, so do you think Frosty Fair had something to do with, besides just- I know they moved it away from Loam Farm. Do you think it's from somebody within Frosty Fair that's doing this, or do you think it might be an outside force? Did you find any evidence of money coming in from outside or how it ended up at the Thistlesprings'?

0:25:47 Sklonda: Well, so that was the thing, right? It's basically that money went missing. The way you track down embezzlement is you look for messed up bookkeeping, right?

0:25:57 Riz: Right.

0:25:57 Sklonda: So basically, all the evidence that was needed was, these amounts got deposited to the Loams' business bank accounts.

0:26:04 Riz: Got it.

0:26:04 Sklonda: And they matched up to amounts that went missing from Frosty Fair's books, right? So it was like, oh, there's some sweetheart deal. There's something going on here. But essentially- it was over the normal fee for what the venue costs would've been for the farm.

0:26:20 Riz: Got it.

0:26:21 Sklonda: But because the amounts matched, it was like, oh, there's clearly embezzling going on here. But the Loams couldn't produce evidence of a deposit. They said, we didn't deposit that money. That didn't get wired, that never happened. And essentially, you can't have negative proof of something.

0:26:36 Riz: Right.

0:26:36 Sklonda: So it's saying, look, I don't have the receipt or I don't have the deposit slip, and it's like, yeah, that would be incriminating. You would throw that out. But essentially, they were able to track down and prove that the deposit got made online. They were able to track down the ISP of where the account got deposited, and it didn't match where they were logged in for their own banking. They actually don't even have online- They go to the bank to do their banking. They're an older couple, or they were an older couple.

0:27:00 Riz: Do you know what that ISP was or who made that deposit?

0:27:05 Sklonda: It was masked to a VPN in Bastion City. I was in the middle of chasing down, trying to see what the VPN was hiding or where it actually would've come from. It's a very common VPN for people that just wanna do some illicit stuff, just to use Bastion City 'cause it's a very populous area.

0:27:19 Riz: Got it.

0:27:21 Sklonda: Could've been from anywhere in Solace.

0:27:22 Riz: Got it, okay. And Frosty Fair, are there multiple events? Or do they just usually do the one big event per year?

0:27:31 Sklonda: One big event per year. I was tracking what happened to the fair in the immediate aftermath, right? So right now, there's no reason for me to chase down that VPN, 'cause again, my clients are no longer with us.

0:27:42 Riz: Right.

0:27:43 Sklonda: I know that the police are investigating. Sorry, the sheriff's office is investigating Loam, the farm, the Loam Farm, and the murder scene, and I know that it moved over to Gorgug's parents' house based on a recommendation from... You see she opens her phone and looks at something. Based on a recommendation from Lola Embers, who recommended that as the backup venue.

0:28:09 Riz: Interesting.

0:28:13 Zac: What?

0:28:15 Siobhan: Well, well, well.

0:28:15 Zac: Lola?

0:28:18 Ally: Who is that again? Siobhan/Zac: Fig's former manager.

0:28:20 Emily: My manager.

0:28:20 Ally: Oh! Lou/Siobhan: And Ruben's current manager.

0:28:24 Riz: Ah, interesting. And how...

0:28:28 Emily: (mouthing) How were they murdered?

0:28:30 Riz: Weird question to ask your mom. How were they murdered? What happened? You said they were investigating a murder scene at the Loam Farm?

0:28:40 Sklonda: I could try to go shake down some old colleagues at the precinct to find out.

0:28:46 Riz: That'd be great.

0:28:47 Sklonda: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Go do that. I think they're still actively investigating over at Loam Farm.

0:28:52 Riz: Okay.

0:28:54 Sklonda: I will say, you did warn me a moment ago not to tell anybody about this.

0:29:01 Riz: Right. Okay, cool. I'm good. Mom, I'm gonna go to Loam Farm, but I'm gonna be, like, invisible and stuff, so you don't have to worry about-

0:29:10 Sklonda: Riz! No! No! Don't go to Loam Farm!

0:29:18 Riz: Mom.

0:29:21 Sklonda: All right. Look, look, look! I will go with you to Loam Farm, okay? All right, good. We'll do that.

0:29:30 Lou: Mother/son trip?

0:29:30 Brennan: Mother/son trip.

0:29:31 Ally: Aw, to the murder scene.

0:29:31 Lou: To the murder site!

0:29:33 Brennan: Great, we're gonna move from there back to the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. So as we head into this next period, sort of continue this period of downtime that we're in right now. There is an announcement shortly after Frosty Fair by Jace Stardiamond, who gets up in a big auditorium and basically says,

0:29:47 Jace: (sighs) Students of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, we're having a rough one. Hate to break it to ya, but Interim Emergency Backup Principal Arcturus Grix and the head of our cleric department, Professor Yolanda Badgood, have very sadly passed away. Ms. Badgood, we are not sure of the cause of death. Principal Grix, we are. He went berserk at a music festival and was killed by Augefort's own-

0:30:26 Fabian: Got him! (all laughing)

0:30:28 Fabian: [standing up] Got him!

0:30:31 Ally: I try to start a standing ovation. : Legend!

0:30:35 Adaine: O Captain! My Captain! Fabian flexes.

0:30:37 Ally: Very slowly standing up and then sitting back down when it didn't work.

0:30:41 Siobhan: Ba da da da da~

0:30:44 Brennan: Incredible.

0:30:44 Zac: I also sit back down.

0:30:47 Brennan: So you see that Vice Principal Stardiamond says,

0:30:49 Jace: So, I don't want to lie to anybody here. We are rapidly kind of leaving the edge of the map in terms of if or how this school is able to function. You know, there's only so many contingencies you can kind of plan in advance, and we are scraping the bottom of the barrel. So, it seems as though our cleric students will be moved to a pass-fail track for the year unless we can find some form of replacement for a cleric teacher before the Moonar Yulenear arrives.

0:31:32 Fig: I'll do it.

0:31:34 Jace: Sorry? Fig?

0:31:36 Fig: I'll do it.

0:31:37 Kristen: I second that.

0:31:38 Fabian: I third it!

0:31:40 Adaine: (deadpan) Wow, what a good teacher she definitely is.

0:31:42 Ally: Can I do an Insight check and see what the Rat Grinders are reacting to this? Is Kipperlilly-

0:31:48 Brennan: Yeah, give me an Insight check.

0:31:50 Ally: Okay.

0:31:50 Lou: All right, okay.

0:31:52 Ally: 21.

0:31:53 Brennan: It seems, you look over and see Buddy kind of looking around a little bit like, "Is this bad? Does this mean something?" You see that Kipperlilly is just sort of looking forward, very unfazed. Ruben is sort of smirking. You see that Oisín and Ivy both look kind of bored in an auditorium sense. And then Mary Ann has some sort of small electronic crystal Tamagotchi and is just doing that.

0:32:17 Emily: We need her.

0:32:19 Ally: We need her. (Brennan beeping)

0:32:22 Siobhan: I think we can get Mary Ann.

0:32:24 Ally: Once again, if one person in your party-

0:32:25 Zac: She's a lost cause.

0:32:25 Ally: ...goes pass-fail, then it fucks up the whole party, right?

0:32:30 Emily: Then we have to enter the trial.

0:32:31 Brennan: Yes, so there's this thing that you guys had talked to Porter about, which is an exam which is basically a bypass to get you off of pass-fail back onto a grading system, and it's some huge amount of extracurricular points.

0:32:45 Ally: But everyone's gonna have to do that, 'cause it seems like most parties have a cleric.

0:32:49 Brennan: Well, you see that this news is really the most rocky for freshman and sophomores, who are not allowed to take the Last Stand. So you guys, this is an opportunity for. There are some adventuring parties that don't have a cleric, and you see a lot of adventuring parties seem to think, you see some people that are kinda going, phew! They were in-

0:33:05 Emily: Who?

0:33:06 Brennan: What's that?

0:33:06 Emily: I want names. Who's going phew?

0:33:07 Brennan: Who's going phew?

0:33:10 Siobhan: Give us specific student names that we've never heard before.

0:33:12 Brennan: Max Durden and his adventuring party are looking like, "This is a huge break for us, gang."

0:33:17 Murph: Instead of a D, it'll just be pass.

0:33:19 Brennan: Yes, exactly.

0:33:19 Ally: Totally, totally. Okay, okay.

0:33:23 Emily: Can I do a general Insight on Stardiamond? Because ever since, I think it was Lou, suggested that Stardiamond could've given Gilear the cruise to get him out of there, I don't trust Stardiamond anymore.

0:33:36 Brennan: Give me an Insight check.

0:33:37 Siobhan: The suspicion has gone from Porter.

0:33:38 Emily: This is with disadvantage, because of my stress token. Okay, that's a five.

0:33:41 Brennan: A five. Hell, yeah.

0:33:45 Lou: He's it, the mastermind.

0:33:47 Brennan: Jace is a sorcerer. He wears incredibly comfortable, flowy clothes and scarves. He walks through the school, you know, teaching a class where everyone has innate magic, and I think you see a deeply stressed guy. I think you see a dude who is like, "Oh, I'm very chill and laid back, and it seems like things continually are getting worse and worse and worse while I'm here."

0:34:16 Siobhan: I mean, off of that, I'll do an Insight check.

0:34:18 Brennan: Yeah.

0:34:20 Zac: It just seems like a guy who doesn't have responsibilities, having responsibilities.

0:34:22 Murph: Yeah, it just seems like the fourth in line-

0:34:24 Siobhan: I think so too.

0:34:26 Murph: ...to be principal became principal.

0:34:27 Emily: All right, so he's not puppeting Gilear's-

0:34:29 Lou: A real "Designated Survivor" situation.

0:34:31 Emily: He's not puppeting Gilear's departure as a power grab.

0:34:36 Lou: The puppet master!

0:34:37 Brennan: Speaking of Gilear, after the auditorium, Fig, you begin to get a call on your crystal.

0:34:45 Emily: I think about breaking it, but then I answer it.

0:34:45 Fig: Hello?

0:34:49 Hallariel: Figueroth, this is Hallariel.

0:34:52 Fig: Hey. Have you and I ever had a conversation before?

0:34:55 Hallariel: Ha ha! Darling girl. Listen! Listen, I'm calling because I'm here with your father. Not your biological father, but your-

0:35:05 Fig: Okay, okay, okay. Let's put the brakes on that. Gilear's my dad.

0:35:08 Hallariel: Hold on, I'm gonna do FaceTime.

0:35:10 Brennan: You see that she clicks over.

0:35:12 Fig: Okay, I'm not.

0:35:15 Ally: You click audio only.

0:35:18 Brennan: She calls up and she says,

0:35:19 Hallariel: Your father isn't in the room right now. He won a raffle and is a king of some kind of dance festival for a day. So I wanted to reach out because we had invited Fabian over to spend the Moonar Yulenear with us on Fallinel. And we thought it might be fun to just fly everybody out here, or pay for the teleportation or what have you. And your father wanted to know if you wanted to come and spend the holiday.

0:35:48 Fig: Hold on, I'm at a school assembly. [to the Bad Kids] Do you guys wanna go to Fallinel?

0:35:53 Adaine: Oh god.

0:35:53 Fig: For the Moonar-

0:35:56 Fabian: Who's asking?

0:35:56 Kristen: Yes.

0:35:57 Fig: Your mom.

0:35:58 Fabian: What?

0:35:58 Kristen: Your mom.

0:35:59 Fabian: My mom called you?

0:35:59 Kristen: Your mom!

0:36:01 Adaine: Your mom called her.

0:36:01 Gorgug: Do you have a missed call?

0:36:03 Adaine: Have you ever had a conversation?

0:36:05 Fabian: No!

0:36:05 Brennan: You have 18 missed calls.

0:36:06 Fabian: Oh, yes. I see. I leave it on 'do not disturb' at all times, you know.

0:36:11 Kristen: Oh wow.

0:36:12 Fabian: A lot of people texting me all the time these days.

0:36:14 Gorgug: Did you get my text, by the way?

0:36:16 Fabian: Oh! There it is. No.

0:36:19 Gorgug: I don't need a ride to school anymore.

0:36:20 Fabian: Okay, got it.

0:36:22 Fig: Do you guys wanna go? I think it sounds like- I mean, we're all pretty burnt out. We could use a vacation. She said she'll pay for the teleportation.

0:36:30 Riz: I think as long as it doesn't affect literally any of our studies or any of our stuff-

0:36:36 Fig: Riz, I don't know if you've noticed-

0:36:36 Riz: And my mom can come.

0:36:37 Fig: I have A pluses across the board.

0:36:40 Ally: I put my hand on Riz's back and I cast Guidance.

0:36:44 Kristen: Dude, you're doing so much for us, man. Thank you.

0:36:46 Fabian: Did you say your mom can come?

0:36:48 Riz: I just wanna make sure-

0:36:48 Fig: Hey, Hallariel?

0:36:51 Hallariel: Yes, Figueroth?

0:36:51 Fig: Hey, can Riz's mom come?

0:36:54 Hallariel: Yes! I assumed she was coming.

0:36:56 Fig: Okay.

0:36:56 Adaine: Can Aelwyn come?

0:36:58 Fig: And can Aelwyn come as well?

0:37:00 Hallariel: I believe she's wanted here, but we'll keep it hush hush.

0:37:03 Fig: Okay, and then the last thing is, Gorgug says it needs to be business class or more.

0:37:10 Fabian: What?

0:37:10 Gorgug: When did I say that?

0:37:12 Hallariel: Gorgug said business class or more?

0:37:13 Adaine: Gorgug, you're so bougie.

0:37:14 Gorgug: I don't know if I said that.

0:37:14 Hallariel: Are Gorgug's parents coming?

0:37:16 Fig: Gorgug, do your parents wanna come?

0:37:18 Gorgug: Do they get business class? I guess.

0:37:21 Fig: Yeah, Gorgug's parents-

0:37:23 Hallariel: All right, Gorgug, his parents, business class. Adaine and Aelwyn would like to come.

0:37:28 Fig: Also business class.

0:37:28 Hallariel: Business class.

0:37:29 Kristen: Let's see if Ragh and his mom wanna come.

0:37:31 Fig: Oh, Ragh and his mom wanna come too.

0:37:33 Riz: We should probably bring Ragh because of the thing with Kalina.

0:37:36 Hallariel: Okay, we'll bring Ragh. Ragh and Lydia can come. Yes, absolutely. Well, if they're coming, we don't wanna leave Sandra Lynn... Hmm. Hmm, hmm.

0:37:43 Fig: No, that's weird. I understand, that's weird.

0:37:44 Hallariel: No, no, no, no, no. No, no. I don't wanna leave them all alone in that big, empty, drafty, haunted house.

0:37:50 Adaine: They might want the peace and quiet.

0:37:51 Fig: They might like it.

0:37:52 Gorgug: Clobica might need business class.

0:37:54 Fig: Oh, Clobica needs business.

0:37:57 Hallariel: I think we can do business class for Cloaca. I don't know if we can do business class for Clobica as well.

0:38:02 Gorgug: …We'll talk later.

0:38:05 Fig: Okay, then we're all a maybe until you can get-

0:38:09 Hallariel: All right, fine. Clobica, Clocica, Clodica, they can all get business class.

0:38:14 Gorgug: I've got to make some more Clos.

0:38:15 Kristen: We're all a maybe?

0:38:16 Riz: I think we just have our own plane. This is great.

0:38:19 Fig: Yeah, maybe a private one.

0:38:19 Hallariel: Private one, yes.

0:38:21 Fig: Thank you so much. What kinda dance is Gilear doing?

0:38:27 Hallariel: Well, it's something where you have to bend way backwards and go under a beam. And he did it, and something cracked in his back, and when he stood up, he was two inches taller and his back felt better.

0:38:39 Fig: Holy shit. Well, tell him I said hey. And tell him that I'm getting straight As and I've picked up a couple new majors.

0:38:48 Hallariel: My goodness! Congratulations, darling. Well, if you're ever looking for some sword tutoring, I don't know if you're multiclassing into any martial classes, but-

0:38:59 Fig: Yeah, no, I could definitely get into that, yeah.

0:39:02 Hallariel: All right, well, lovely.

0:39:02 Fig: Do you have to go so soon?

0:39:05 Hallariel: Hmm?

0:39:05 Fig: Do you have to go?

0:39:07 Fabian: I haven't talked to my mother for this long in months!

0:39:09 Kristen: The bell rang 15 minutes ago. We have to go.

0:39:12 Adaine: We've just been sitting in-

0:39:13 Fabian: Can I say hi?

0:39:14 Gorgug: Do you wanna do video now?

0:39:15 Hallariel: Give Fabian my love!

0:39:15 Fabian: Is it too late?

0:39:19 Hallariel: And tell him that his grandfather refuses to talk on phones, but that his grandfather does say hello, and that he loves him, and that he ponders often on the wistful nature of their time together.

0:39:29 Fig: Okay, I'll pass that along.

0:39:30 Fabian: Can I just say hi real quick for a second?

0:39:32 Fig: Okay. [passes her crystal to Fabian]

0:39:32 Hallariel: Bye bye! Click.

0:39:33 Fabian: Yes, hello? Mama? Mama? Hello, Mama? Oh, no. Oh, okay. [hands Fig’s crystal back]

0:39:43 Fig: Thank you.

0:39:44 Lou: Hmm. Maybe I'll turn off 'do not disturb' so I can get a few phone calls next time.

0:39:53 Adaine: Fig, I've been thinking about- so is it weird that... Okay, I feel like Kristen's stuff has been really dramatically bad, but-

0:40:03 Kristen: Keep my name out of your mouth.

0:40:05 Riz: What is everyone's deal today?

0:40:07 Kristen: I don't know, Fig said it, and it felt aggro in a good way.

0:40:12 Brennan: I just spit coffee everywhere. I just spit coffee everywhere. It's all over the inside of my DM screen.

0:40:20 Murph: So I tell everyone what my mom told me.

0:40:20 Riz: Yeah, so Lola-

0:40:24 Fig: The last name Loam is soil related.

0:40:27 Adaine: Yeah! Oh, maybe we should talk to Molman Ratman.

0:40:29 Kristen: I was thinking that, too.

0:40:31 Fig: That makes me think that- 'cause we had some bad soil-

0:40:34 Riz: I know. He just got so mad at me last time I talked to him 'cause I said to be careful with the poison soil.

0:40:39 Gorgug: Do you think that there's anything wrong with the soil at my house now? (Ally gasps)

0:40:44 Riz: Yeah.

0:40:44 Adaine: That's a great question.

0:40:46 Riz: Why did they want it to be at your house specifically?

0:40:49 Gorgug: I was just wondering that, 'cause Lola Embers and I maybe talked a couple times.

0:40:53 Adaine: They dropped you, right?

0:40:54 Gorgug: Yeah, we've never really... I don't think of us as having a super strong relationship.

0:40:59 Fig: I mean, well, she might be going, 'cause I kinda went rogue and maybe...

0:41:07 Gorgug: What made her think of my family's house?

0:41:11 Adaine: Yeah, what's so special about your house that makes it-

0:41:15 Riz: I wonder-

0:41:15 Fig: It's a tree, right?

0:41:17 Kristen: Yeah, it's a big tree.

0:41:19 Adaine: Is there a ley line situation?

0:41:20 Fig: Is it secretly a World Tree?

0:41:21 Riz: It's a big tree.

0:41:23 Fabian: Roots or something? Are we thinking roots?

0:41:25 Fig: Soil, loam?

0:41:27 Fabian: I'm just trying to keep up.

0:41:27 Fig: Yeah.

0:41:29 Kristen: Yeah.

0:41:29 Riz: I think that-

0:41:31 Kristen: But anyway, what about my drama?

0:41:33 Adaine: Your drama's beautiful and-

0:41:35 Ally: I'm this close to Adaine's face.

0:41:37 Adaine: I think it's really gorgeous and you're doing so well.

0:41:40 Kristen: All right.

0:41:40 Adaine: And I respect you so much, and you're so talented.

0:41:42 Kristen: Mm-hmm.

0:41:44 Emily: I see Kristen getting aggro, and as the security detail, I get aggro on the other side at Adaine.

0:41:50 Adaine: I just worry that Fig is fully cursed, and we have not addressed that at all.

0:41:54 Riz: We have not addressed the fact that Fig is cursed, for sure.

0:41:55 Kristen: Yeah. Fig, yeah.

0:41:58 Adaine: So... Just 'cause Fig is really chill and cool about it-

0:42:01 Kristen: You're so helpful!

0:42:01 Adaine: And maybe you're less chill and cool about it.

0:42:04 Riz: Does Wretchrot know who owns the pride armor yet? Have you checked in?

0:42:08 Fig: I did ask him to look into that, but I got kinda busy with Gorgug's MCAT thing.

0:42:14 Gorgug: Right.

0:42:14 Adaine: Yeah.

0:42:15 Gorgug: Which I appreciate, thank you.

0:42:16 Adaine: So anyway, I learned-

0:42:17 Fig: And also becoming a paladin of Kristen's god.

0:42:19 Kristen: Yeah.

0:42:22 Adaine: I learned this Remove Curse spell, which I don't think is gonna work on you, 'cause it feels like it's a really big curse and this is just for minor stuff, but I'm thinking I could maybe cast it on you, and then the way that it doesn't work will be useful for me to figure out, or for somebody to figure out what we do.

0:42:38 Fig: I would love that.

0:42:39 Emily: I take all my clothing off and lay down.

0:42:42 Fabian: [puts his hand in front of his face] Whoa! Whoa!

0:42:42 Kristen: Fig! Hey, Fig!

0:42:44 Ally: I just take my clothes off too.

0:42:46 Fabian: Whoa! What is happening?

0:42:48 Murph: I put a blanket-

0:42:48 Adaine: Okay!

0:42:49 Kristen: Friends need to be able to be naked around each other. This is so-

0:42:52 Riz: Where's your battle sheet, Fabian?

0:42:53 Adaine: When did this become a thing?

0:42:55 Riz: Aren't we in a hallway?

0:42:55 Kristen: This is so Sol.

0:42:57 Riz: We're at school.

0:42:57 Fabian: Yes, we are at school.

0:42:59 Riz: Fully at school.

0:42:59 Kristen: You guys, oh my god, this is so puritanical corn god.

0:43:06 Fabian: Do not. Do not.

0:43:06 Kristen: Take off your clothes!

0:43:08 Fabian: If we were at a spa- : We're trying to get-

0:43:10 Siobhan: I cast Nondetection on both of them so they don't show up on the school cameras, and then I cast Remove Curse on Fig.

0:43:17 Ally: I have all my clothes off, but a sports bra.

0:43:21 Siobhan: Pussy out, tits away.

0:43:22 Ally: I just got worried that no one else was taking... Yeah, I know, exactly.

0:43:26 Brennan: Fabian, now that your phone is not on 'do not disturb,' you get a text from Mazey.

0:43:32 Lou: What's it say?

0:43:33 Brennan: It says,

0:43:33 Mazey: Big news. Not sure who to talk to. Let me know if you wanna swing by the dance hall vending machine for a few minutes in between 2nd and 3rd period.

0:43:46 Fabian: I'll be there.

0:43:48 Fabian: I hate to leave this, but I am requested at a vending machine.

0:43:56 Kristen: Could you get me something? Hot chips?

0:43:58 Fabian: You want a hot chip?

0:43:58 Kristen: Yes, please.

0:43:59 Adaine: What they've got in there-

0:43:59 Fabian: You want hot chips? [using his arms to block his view of Kristen]

0:44:02 Kristen: It's just a body!

0:44:02 Fabian: Stop!

0:44:05 Ally: I turn around.

0:44:05 Fabian: Stop! Stop!

0:44:08 Kristen: It's just an orifice!

0:44:08 Fabian: Stop! Stop! You want chips?

0:44:11 Riz: You have to stop.

0:44:13 Ally: I show you all full butthole.

0:44:14 Fabian: I'm will go get everyone hot chips, all right?

0:44:16 Ally: Full, right to the dome butthole.

0:44:17 Gorgug: We're in a hallway. We're just in a hallway.

0:44:20 Kristen: I don't understand!

0:44:21 Murph: Riz thinks about what his mom was saying, and just stares off into the middle distance.

0:44:25 Kristen: I'm gonna be a president! [raises her arms in the air] (all laughing)

0:44:31 Riz: Oh, Fabian.

0:44:31 Fabian: What's up?

0:44:34 Riz: You should try to just sneak into- when you're chatting, try to see if any bylaws were changed in the student law.

0:44:40 Fig: Yeah, I wanted to look into that.

0:44:41 Riz: Which is why Grix kinda went off.

0:44:44 Kristen: That is such a good call.

0:44:45 Fabian: She's a big fan of puns, so maybe I'll do something with that, you know?

0:44:47 Riz: Maybe you'll do something fun, yeah.

0:44:49 Adaine: Ooh!

0:44:49 Riz: Try it out on us.

0:44:51 Adaine: You're finding out about what she likes!

0:44:53 Fabian: What?

0:44:53 Riz: Try it out on us.

0:44:54 Fabian: So... (stammering) My friends... I've got to- Kristen dances.

0:45:00 Riz: This is a lot, yeah. Okay.

0:45:02 Fabian: ...find a natural moment in the conversation and do it. Stop, dude, please! Please get off your knees, all right?

0:45:12 Kristen: All right, Fabe, I'm sorry. Check you later. [hugs Fabian]

0:45:15 Fabian: Okay, yes, all right, well, yes, I'll ask about the bylaws.

0:45:18 Riz: Great, great.

0:45:18 Fabian: I'll sneak that in there.

0:45:20 Kristen: I just feel like we should all be a little bit closer. That's the last thing I'm gonna say. Could you even pick my hands out of a crowd?

0:45:27 Adaine: Yes, absolutely. 100%.

0:45:27 Fabian: Without a doubt.

0:45:29 Kristen: No.

0:45:29 Gorgug: They're so freckled.

0:45:31 Kristen: You think we're close. You don't even know what my hands look like.

0:45:33 Adaine: Your hands are extremely calloused from all the CrossFit you've been doing.

0:45:37 Kristen: That's very true.

0:45:37 Fabian: It's the callouses.

0:45:39 Ally: I do like 90 pushups, naked.

0:45:41 Riz: Here's another thing, too, that maybe we should look into while we're at school. It seems like a lot of the stuff they're doing is very ritualistic. Is it possible that the Rat Grinders aren't just grinding? That they're sacrificing these rats? And maybe that's even why they were mad at Lucy Frostblade, because she's bringing them back.

0:45:58 Adaine: Oh, so they're not-

0:45:58 Riz: Undoing this...

0:46:00 Fig: Also, Frostblade, and it was called Frosty Festival. Why was it called Frosty Festival to begin with?

0:46:04 Siobhan: Oh, yes.

0:46:06 Ally: Could look into the history.

0:46:07 Siobhan: Yeah, the giants.

0:46:07 Murph: That's interesting.

0:46:10 Emily: Does it have a history that ties back to the giants? In which case, it has a history that ties back to this giant-

0:46:16 Kristen: Could you ask your parents, Gorgug? Could you text them?

0:46:19 Gorgug: Yeah, I can. I'll ask them.

0:46:19 Kristen: They seem like lifers.

0:46:23 Gorgug: Yeah, maybe don't call them that.

0:46:25 Fabian: Also, wasn't your-

0:46:25 Kristen: I'm sorry.

0:46:27 Adaine: Frostheads?

0:46:27 Gorgug: I have a pants-on rule.

0:46:30 Kristen: On hugs?

0:46:30 Fabian: Your biological dad-

0:46:33 Ally: Kristen puts her G-string back on and goes in for a hug.

0:46:36 Lou: Did you say G-string?

0:46:36 Ally: Yeah, that's canon.

0:46:39 Siobhan: You're wearing a G-string underneath a-

0:46:41 Ally: I'm wearing a sports bra and a G-string, and I want to be closer to all of you.

0:46:45 Gorgug: So a G-string, for me, is not pants.

0:46:49 Kristen: I just hear bottoms. I don't know. All right, fine.

0:46:53 Brennan: Fabian, you take off. You see Mazey is there. Immediately, you can see Mazey seems a little bit stressed. She goes, "Hey, Fabian."

0:47:01 Fabian: Mazey, what's going on?

0:47:03 Mazey: First of all, sick as hell that you killed Principal Grix. That guy attacked lots of students and no one did anything about it.

0:47:09 Fabian: Hey, well, you know, somebody had to stand up and be a hero, and why not a maximum legend, you know?

0:47:16 Mazey: Love it.

0:47:17 Fabian: So what's going on? Big news, you said?

0:47:20 Lou: Just leaning against the vending machine.

0:47:24 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion check.

0:47:27 Emily: Did you want to leave with a Bardic? (die rolling)

0:47:30 Lou: No. That's only a 12.

0:47:33 Brennan: You're leaning, and you hear a crack in the glass display.

0:47:37 Fabian: Oh shit, sorry. I do need to get hot chips for Kristen. Anyway, sorry. (nervous laugh) I'm discombobulated.

0:47:46 Mazey: I just wanted to- I really didn't know who else to talk to.

0:47:50 Fabian: Oh.

0:47:52 Mazey: Because, well, you've solved a lot of the school's problems in the past. I remember when I was a sophomore that you and the other Bad Kids killed Kalvaxus.

0:48:04 Fabian: Yeah.

0:48:04 Mazey: I just feel like I'm kinda suddenly in over my head a little bit. Vice Principal Stardiamond talked to me and just warned me that they're kind of, as he said, off the edge of the map.

0:48:17 Fabian: Yeah.

0:48:19 Mazey: But that they're literally, like, the school actual charter doesn't even cover where we are anymore, so they're legally consulting emails and letters between Arthur Aguefort to get what his intentions might have been, 'cause we're so far in the chain of succession or whatever.

0:48:39 Fabian: Mm-hmm.

0:48:39 Mazey: And he mentioned, we think as a bit, that in the death of an Interim Emergency Backup Principal, that Aguefort would become a democracy and that the student body president would be acting principal. Which is crazy, 'cause I'm a student. I am a student here. But I just wanted to bring it up to you, because I don't really know... It seems to me that Jace should clearly be doing this, but-

0:49:09 Fabian: Isn't the whole thing that the vice is the backup for when the main one goes away?

0:49:15 Mazey: Kind of, but the way it's set up in the charter is that it's actually just two different jobs. The charter specifically has rules about the vice principal not being able to leave a certain distance from around the school. Rules that were set up, I think, because the idea was Kalvaxus would be doing that job forever.

0:49:32 Fabian: Got it, yeah.

0:49:33 Mazey: The design is not sustainable. The design of the bylaws of the school is like, the principal will always be an omnipotent, genius wizard and his right hand man will always be a captured evil dragon.

0:49:49 Fabian: Got it. So... So, are you still gonna be a student, or will you just be a full-time school president?

0:49:56 Mazey: We don't know, it's literally off of a bit he wrote in an email, and the lawyers that they're consulting with are like, in the absence of anything that would do something, that's the only written evidence of his intent for what should happen here.

0:50:10 Fabian: Wow. Normally, The Ball does all the kinda putting the pieces together stuff. But how are you? Are you excited? Do you want it? Could you abdicate?

0:50:22 Mazey: I guess I could. I mean, I feel like it's... Yeah, I guess it's fine. I just wanted to tell you 'cause I sort of didn't know if you would know anything about it or not, but I just, I don't know, I trust you?

0:50:40 Fabian: Well, that... Your trust is well placed, and it (stammering) means a lot to me. But I... Do you-

0:50:53 Mazey: Are you okay?

0:50:54 Fabian: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine! Anyway. Shit! Wow, so you're just gonna be... Are you still gonna be in class at all, or will you just be full-time-

0:51:05 Mazey: I have to be. You have to be an actively enrolled and good faith student to retain your position.

0:51:11 Fabian: Is there a vice president?

0:51:12 Mazey: No, there's treasurers and other positions like that that are part of student government, but there's only one elected position for student body president.

0:51:21 Fabian: Well, hey, I don't think you're in over your head. I think you can handle this easily. You've got this in the bag, and I'm gonna ask The Ball if he's got any ideas about how we can make sure that you have got this even more in the bag. A bag within a bag. And if, you know, you need any help, or you just want to text somebody, you just let me know. I'm here, for you. You know, yeah.

0:51:52 Mazey: Did you run here?

0:51:52 Fabian: Yeah. It was a whole thing. Kristen was... I don't wanna say anything. Kristen was in a mood.

0:52:02 Ally: (mock yelling) Keep my name! Out of your mouth!

0:52:08 Brennan: Mazey says goodbye, heads back to class.

0:52:12 Lou: I text everyone immediately.

0:52:13 Fabian: I think Mazey is gonna be the next principal, because Aguefort's about to become a democracy.

0:52:19 Murph: Okay, I immediately text back,

0:52:21 Riz: They're going to kill Mazey.

0:52:24 Lou: I run back towards Mazey.

0:52:26 Fabian: Mazey! Mazey! Do you wanna come over after school?

0:52:33 Mazey: Yeah.

0:52:33 Fabian: Okay, great. Just come straight from school. Don't make any stops.

0:52:39 Emily: You can dispatch me as an escort.

0:52:42 Mazey: Cool, yeah.

0:52:42 Fabian: Great, cool. [to Fig] Hey, Fig, I need you to tail Mazey from the school to my house.

0:52:47 Fig: I was already gonna. [Ally and Murph crack up.]

0:52:51 Murph: Riz does the question mark thing.

0:52:55 Brennan: Incredible.

0:52:55 Emily: I break my phone. Okay, so Copperlilly Kipperpetal is making a play. Her parents, you learned the stuff about the real estate guy and someone working in the government. That's got to be a conflict of interest, right?

0:53:11 Murph: Clerk.

0:53:11 Ally: A clerk at a government building.

0:53:14 Emily: I don't know what a clerk... But a clerk might have access to certain things that a real estate agent could manipulate.

0:53:20 Zac: Yeah, have some kinda permits.

0:53:22 Siobhan: Right, maybe a permit for a festival.

0:53:22 Emily: Permits, zoning.

0:53:24 Murph: It's just pretty clear that they've orchestrated this whole thing to make it specifically so that they could have essentially a student principal, and so that it could be Kipperlilly.

0:53:35 Emily: And so that they can basically run the school.

0:53:39 Riz: Why do they wanna run the school, but also summon a demon? Why are they doing this to us?

0:53:44 Adaine: Why are they doing this to us?

0:53:47 Riz: Mazey's definitely in trouble.

0:53:50 Brennan: At the end of that school day, Mazey turns up. You wanna go ahead and give me a Stealth check for Fig?

0:53:56 Emily: Yeah, I think Stealth isn't my greatest.

0:54:01 Siobhan: You do still have Nondetection on you. It lasts for eight hours.

0:54:03 Emily: Ooh, I got a 18 Stealth.

0:54:06 Brennan: In what form are you as you shadow Mazey, headed to-

0:54:11 Emily: I am the shadow. I look like a stagehand in a play. [Lou and Siobhan burst out laughing]

0:54:16 Ally: You're constantly running while kneeling.

0:54:19 Siobhan: Headset on.

0:54:19 Zac: Coiling a rope.

0:54:21 Brennan: Incredible.

0:54:21 Siobhan: Head down.

0:54:23 Brennan: Mazey shows up at your place, Fabian.

0:54:25 Fabian: Hey, what's going on?

0:54:25 Mazey: Hey.

0:54:29 Fabian: I'm glad you made it here safely.

0:54:29 Lou: I look for... Nothing.

0:54:32 Fabian: Come on in. Do you want a water or anything?

0:54:36 Brennan: Sure. What state is Seacaster Manor in right now?

0:54:38 Lou: Pretty, I think if you opened any door off of the living room, you would just see a wall of boxes and trash. But the living room looks good, and the kitchen looks pretty good. There are certain drawers and things that shouldn't be opened, because if you do, it'll just be- fried rice will just rain down on you.

0:54:58 Brennan: She looks and says,

0:54:58 Mazey: Yeah.

0:55:03 Fabian: Do you want a water or something?

0:55:06 Brennan: She goes to make out with you.

0:55:07 Lou: I lean back.

0:55:07 Mazey: Oh, sorry. Is that not-

0:55:09 Fabian: No, I just-

0:55:09 Mazey: Did that-

0:55:11 Fabian: No, I invited you... I thought you were in danger!

0:55:16 Mazey: I read it wrong?

0:55:16 Fabian: No, that's kind of right. No, that is right.

0:55:20 Mazey: Danger? What do you mean danger?

0:55:21 Fabian: You're in danger! They wanna kill you!

0:55:23 Mazey: What?

0:55:26 Fabian: The Ball said they wanna kill you!

0:55:29 Mazey: Who wants to kill me?

0:55:30 Fabian: The, one second, one second.

0:55:32 Mazey: I am so fucking embarrassed right now.

0:55:33 Fabian: No, no, don't be embarrassed.

0:55:34 Brennan: She turns invisible.

0:55:34 Fabian: No, stop, wait! Mazey!

0:55:37 Lou: I just start swinging my sheet around the room.

0:55:39 Mazey: What the hell?

0:55:39 Fabian: Mazey, where are you?

0:55:41 Brennan: (mimics glass shattering) Glasses.

0:55:42 Fabian: Where are you?

0:55:42 Mazey: What the hell?

0:55:44 Fabian: Where are you?

0:55:46 Mazey: This sucks, this sucks, this fucking sucks!

0:55:48 Fabian: No, I'm sorry, I just, The Ball... This is the problem with operating at this level, right? It's like I live in a world where people are constantly telling me that the people I care about are under attack or going to die, and so I didn't... I just wanted you to come over so that you would be safe.

0:56:05 Mazey: Who said I was gonna die?

0:56:07 Fabian: The Ball said you... Here, one second.

0:56:08 Mazey: The Ball's gonna try to kill me?

0:56:09 Fabian: No! FaceTiming The Ball. The Ball!

0:56:11 Riz: Hey!

0:56:13 Fabian: Hey, what's going on? [holds up his crystal] I'm with Mazey.

0:56:14 Mazey: I'm invisible!

0:56:14 Riz: Hi, Mazey! I don't see Mazey.

0:56:17 Fabian: No! Who's trying to kill Mazey?

0:56:22 Riz: We think Kipperlilly Copperkettle and the Rat Grinders seem to have orchestrated a plan to sort of destabilize the school, and you would be sort of next in line for principal, and if you were to die, that would mean that the election would be deciding essentially the next leader of the school, and then she could win, and then Kipperlilly could become the ruler and summon a demon.

0:56:52 Mazey: Okay, killing me would not make the person who killed me president.

0:56:59 Riz: No, but if Kipperlilly killed you, then they'd probably have to run an emergency election, right? And then they'd move up the juniors, maybe.

0:57:07 Mazey: I don't even know. There's nothing in the bylaws about an emergency election. Maybe, but we're off the map, so I don't know. Look, was this 'cause you guys just hate the Rat Grinders?

0:57:21 Riz: No-

0:57:21 Fabian: No!

0:57:22 Riz: We have pretty good reasons.

0:57:23 Fabian: Yeah.

0:57:25 Riz: (sighs) Yeah.

0:57:27 Mazey: I know that they don't like you, but that's, like-

0:57:30 Riz: Wait, they don't like us? [Emily laughs]

0:57:32 Mazey: No, they've hated you guys forever.

0:57:35 Riz: What the hell?

0:57:36 Ally: I put my clothes back on.

0:57:36 Kristen: What the fuck?

0:57:39 Zac: Are you there?

0:57:39 Murph: Yeah, what?

0:57:41 Brennan: All of you guys are at Mordred right now.

0:57:43 Kristen: What the fuck?

0:57:44 Murph: Kristen was studying, and keeps disrobing for some reason.

0:57:46 Kristen: What the fuck?

0:57:47 Brennan: She's like,

0:57:47 Mazey: Yeah, they famously hate you guys.

0:57:50 Adaine: How can they famously do anything when they're not famous?

0:57:53 Mazey: See, that's exactly what it is.

0:57:56 Riz: Yeah, okay.

0:57:56 Kristen: Jealousy surrounds me.

0:57:59 Riz: I just, okay, so-

0:57:59 Kristen: I say it every day.

0:58:03 Riz: Maybe, perhaps my investigation-

0:58:05 Fig: New campaign slogan.

0:58:05 Riz: ...into this is still... This is more of a hypothesis than a theory at this point, but I guess, just kinda every principal and vice principal has been taken out, and it all seems to be leading to bad stuff for whoever's in charge, so just kinda be on the lookout.

0:58:25 Mazey: Okay, thank you for the warning. I'll be on the lookout. Thank you for looking after me.

0:58:30 Fabian: Thanks, The Ball.

0:58:30 Brennan: All right. And you see Mazey heads to the door. (Lou stammering nervously)

0:58:36 Fabian: No? Okay, sorry. I just, I didn't even... Maybe you should... We'll...

0:58:45 Mazey: Listen, if you just want to be friends, that's great. We can just be-

0:58:48 Fabian: No!

0:58:49 Mazey: I misread it.

0:58:49 Fabian: No!

0:58:50 Mazey: You just insisted I come over right after school, and then I got here and you looked so stunned as you offered me water that I was like, let me make this guy's life a little bit easier by just initiating.

0:59:02 Fabian: Well-

0:59:04 Mazey: And then you pulled back, and that's fine, but I just was reading that there was something-

0:59:08 Fabian: No, I just, The Ball... The Ball had texted...

0:59:15 Mazey: When you think about me, why do you always bring up The Ball?

0:59:18 Fabian: It's not about you. It's that I just, I was in such a, like, Fig calls it German Shepherd mode. I was just locked into this protective space that I don't think I was really thinking about that. And then, so when it happened, it's not that I didn't want it, I just, there was no space for it, 'cause I just wanted to make sure that you were okay and were hydrated. So, I don't know, can I get a do-over some other time?

0:59:48 Mazey: Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm embarrassed but, you know, I get it. You know, other than the fact that I have a crush on you, which I do... (Lou gasps) I just wanna say that, like, I hope you're... I don't know. Part of the reason I texted you is 'cause I do trust you, and I think that you're clearly a very capable adventurer. But also, like, I don't know, we come over, and your house is always so nice. There's food out and you have these study halls but, like... I don't know. I just wanna make sure that you're okay, I guess, 'cause it seems like you're here all by yourself.

1:00:33 Fabian: I mean, yeah. It's... (melancholy music) It's weird, you know? I don't know. I was gone, like, all summer. Honestly, you don't have the context for this, but I was excited to just, like, pwn Gilear and hang out with my mom (Emily cackling) and just kind of do the weird family thing that we do. And... (melancholy music continues) It's a big house, and it really feels... I really feel it these days. But I don't know, I'm maximum legend, you know? So, you know, the legend continues. I've honestly got some sick party ideas for the coming weeks that are gonna be just so dope, and maybe a couple of sleepovers and, you know, stuff that just kind of is longer. People really don't have to anywhere, you know?

1:01:48 Ally: Like a lock-in.

1:01:51 Fabian: Yeah, real kinda, you know... It's like if you create a space that people wanna be in, you know, that's... (stammers) you know? I'm doing okay. I just- it's tough, but I'm doing great. I'm doing... You know. I was gonna get a tattoo, actually.

1:02:13 Mazey: Okay.

1:02:15 Fabian: Yeah.

1:02:15 Mazey: Yeah, all right. Well, I hope you get a chance to pwn your stepdad. I don't really know- I actually haven't heard that term before.

1:02:29 Fabian: Pwn?

1:02:29 Mazey: Pwn.

1:02:30 Fabian: Yeah, it's internet slang.

1:02:35 Emily: [laughing] From the man who dabbed at a student assembly.

1:02:40 Fabian: I think they were saying it a couple of years back.

1:02:42 Mazey: A couple years back.

1:02:42 Fabian: I'm catching up.

1:02:46 Brennan: She says,

1:02:46 Mazey: Yeah, makes sense. I think that sounds awesome. And I think that if you- you know, I think that making a space where people feel welcome is great. You're also, like- even if you weren't maximum legend, I would still wanna hang out with you."

1:03:03 Fabian: You're just saying that.

1:03:08 Mazey: Well, maybe one day you'll find out if it's true or not.

1:03:10 Brennan: And she says goodbye and heads out.

1:03:13 Fabian: Okay, I'll see you later. (sighs) (music fades)

1:03:18 Brennan: Moving from that, we're gonna pick back up with downtime as you head into the back half of the fall, headed into early winter. We started with Adaine with your first academic roll. If you would like to make further academic rolls to gain new spells in your spellbook, you may also do that, or if you wanna use other methods, because you're rolling academics with disadvantage, to try to get spells, you could do that too if you wanted to use popularity or extracurriculars to try to get spells.

1:03:44 Siobhan: Actually, instead of me getting more spells, you know what I'm gonna do is do a History check into the giant stuff.

1:03:51 Brennan: Hell, yeah. (gentle string instrumental) So the DC of normal clues has now increased by five, so we'll say that you wanna clear a- normally it'd be like 15, 20, 25. Because this is your 2nd track, it'll go 20, 25, 30.

1:04:03 Siobhan: Oh, can I use Boggy?

1:04:04 Brennan: On one roll, you can use Boggy.

1:04:05 Siobhan: Great, I'll use Boggy on this one.

1:04:07 Brennan: So your wizard's tower at Mordred, Boggy's just (ribbits) hopping from book to book, helping you.

1:04:12 Emily: Cute!

1:04:13 Siobhan: He's holding the- the books are so big and crunchy that he's just essentially a paperweight.

1:04:18 Brennan: Incredible, I love it. (dice rolling)

1:04:20 Siobhan: Both of those suck, so I'm gonna use the divination roll, which was an 18.

1:04:25 Brennan: An 18! Plus Arcana?

1:04:25 Siobhan: Plus nine, so 27.

1:04:29 Brennan: Incredible. You find a lot of information about giants and giantkin, ogres, et cetera, living in the Mountains of Chaos. You find lots of information about Ruvina, the goddess of winter and sorrow, and you see that there are weird connections between these sort of seasonal, very nature-oriented giant gods, and a series of celestial gods who came to pay a visit to them, right? So you see Galicaea and Cassandra, sister deities of the moon and of the night. But you also see some references to Sol, to the god of the sun, the human god of the sun from Highcourt. Looking at more of this stuff about giants... Are you rolling History or Religion here?

1:05:20 Siobhan: History.

1:05:20 Brennan: So that's interesting. That's gonna give you different pieces of information. You begin to see, on this very high History roll, the absence of a divinity. In other words, you see, oh, it mentions Cassandra and Ruvina speaking at Cassandra's wedding and being given a bride gift. So, a correlation between Bakur's god. You're starting to create this space in history where a god once existed, right?

1:05:56 Siobhan: Was this god that seems to be missing a celestial god or a giant god?

1:06:01 Brennan: On a 27, I will honor the specificity of that question. You think this god's domain changed over time.

1:06:10 Siobhan: Huh, interesting.

1:06:12 Brennan: You think that this god changed over time, and that it's a possibility that even Ruvina... And you begin to see that whatever this missing god is- You begin to, looking at historical texts, you look at bride gifts in giant culture. You would only give that if it was your sibling getting married. So we now know that this missing god was Ruvina's sibling, right, and that they were marrying Cassandra. And that there was this thing which adds this whole level to Obliviati Mori and what it means to basically have something that was a sibling or a spouse that, due to the death or absence or something of their followers, suddenly you are never allowed to mention again.

1:06:56 Siobhan: Okay, do we know what Ruvina's other siblings are? Can we maybe infer the gap based on-

1:07:03 Ally: Ooh.

1:07:05 Emily: Summer, winter?

1:07:05 Ally: If they're other elements or seasons?

1:07:10 Brennan: On that seasonal thing, looking for, are there three and there's a fourth one missing-

1:07:14 Siobhan: Right.

1:07:14 Brennan: ...which one is it? You do see that there are- you're looking for that symmetry, you do see that there is a giant god of the spring and of the fall. And it seems like this missing one would have been a summer deity.

1:07:30 Siobhan: Interesting, so is it- Emily taps Zac and points to her notebook.

1:07:31 Brennan: Did you write that down, Emily?

1:07:32 Emily: I already had written that down.

1:07:34 Zac: It says, "Pretend this says whatever."

1:07:36 Emily: It says, "Zac, pretend like I'm smart."

1:07:39 Siobhan: So can I maybe infer from this that there is the possibility that either Sol or Helio or both came in, stole this god's followers, and in doing that, killed them in the way that maybe Galicaea has been doing?

1:07:56 Brennan: On a 27, you can rule out that that happened in a single violent historical act.

1:08:04 Siobhan: Okay.

1:08:04 Brennan: You do not see a crusade.

1:08:05 Siobhan: Okay, great.

1:08:05 Brennan: You do not see something of, like, a huge thing over time, but what do-

1:08:09 Siobhan: So more of a whimper than a bang.

1:08:10 Brennan: Yes, but what you do see is associations with summer as a season. There's something where Ruvina is saying, "And as the months pass by, will the Sun grow higher in the thing," and Sun is capitalized as though it is almost like a name, you know what I mean?

1:08:30 Siobhan: Sure.

1:08:31 Brennan: So it's like, oh, is there a solar connection? Is there some kind of summer something, da da da da da? Is there some domain thing there that's going on? And all later texts that come from later periods in these clerical times- That gift is only referenced in very ancient documents. The most recent documents you can find, there's still that empty space, but they make way more references to fire. All of those seasonal references are gone. All of those solar references are gone. And again, all of this is in the absence of finding a name. You don't find any texts of this god's actual followers, but you begin to see things like, "Beware the blades of the red fire," things like that that crop up in certain different historical texts.

1:09:20 Siobhan: So it seems like these red stars have been around for a while.

1:09:25 Brennan: But they're not-

1:09:25 Siobhan: Is there a crossover?

1:09:27 Brennan: Those texts are more recent than the seasonal stuff.

1:09:29 Siobhan: Yes, great. So the red stars, it feels like, maybe came after the death of the god.

1:09:34 Brennan: On a 27 History check, you don't believe that, necessarily.

1:09:38 Siobhan: Huh, interesting.

1:09:38 Brennan: It's conflicting. There is some evidence of these red stars or this sort of shattering, sharp energy. It's around the same time period. You wouldn't be able to definitively say, oh, it was the god's death that led to the creation of these. It's sort of like, no, these are from a really similar time period.

1:09:59 Siobhan: Got it.

1:09:59 Brennan: Yeah.

1:10:00 Siobhan: Interesting. Well, I guess I'll go to work.

1:10:03 Brennan: Yeah, and then you've got to go to work. Go ahead and give me your job check.

1:10:09 Emily: Do you want a Bardic?

1:10:10 Siobhan: Sure, I'll take a Bardic.

1:10:12 Lou: I can give you a Bardic. Or you could take one-

1:10:16 Ally: You're gonna kill Adaine! You're fucking nasty, Emily!

1:10:21 Siobhan: Covered in ice cream.

1:10:21 Zac: Basrar is dead. He choked on his own ice cream that he made.

1:10:26 Emily: I'm just trying to live my best life.

1:10:29 Siobhan: I got a seven.

1:10:29 Ally: “Live my best life?”

1:10:31 Siobhan: I guess if I roll an eight on a Bardic, I could get to-

1:10:33 Zac: 15?

1:10:35 Siobhan: I'm dropping a lot of plates. I'm literally dropping a lot of plates at work.

1:10:38 Brennan: At work.

1:10:38 Siobhan: There's so many elves here, and none of them are buying ice cream.

1:10:42 Elf: Excuse me! I care not for ice cream. What I care for is visions of the future!

1:10:47 Adaine: Visions of the future? This is not a visions of the future shop. This is an ice cream shop. No visions allowed.

1:10:54 Elf: I would love a chocolate sundae, with fudge, in the shape of a rune that I might put on my shield-

1:11:00 Adaine: I can't do that. I can literally do circles.

1:11:03 Emily: [whispers] Could you prophesy a huge tip?

1:11:07 Adaine: I prophesy a huge tip.

1:11:07 Brennan: Give me a Deception roll. (die rolling)

1:11:15 Siobhan: Five.

1:11:15 Siobhan: Five. You see he goes,

1:11:17 Elf: You know, you occupy a very important position in our culture, and I think you're being rude.

1:11:21 Adaine: Yes, a very important, unpaid position, and I'm a child. Elf Not my circus, not my monkeys!

1:11:27 Adaine: Literally your circus! Literally your monkey!

1:11:32 Brennan: He heads off. I will also say, the job track can be rolled on multiple times, if you would like. But you have to take more, find another part time job.

1:11:41 Siobhan: Actually, you know what, I'll take a stress token.

1:11:43 Brennan: All right, here we go.

1:11:43 Ally: Wow, what are you up to? Three?

1:11:46 Lou: Eat from the little basket.

1:11:46 Brennan: Eat from the little basket. How much are you up to now? Is that four?

1:11:51 Siobhan: This is three. Okay, that is a 17, which really just means I don't get fired.

1:11:58 Brennan: But you can add 2d10 silver to your money.

1:11:58 Siobhan: Great.

1:12:00 Lou: There it is.

1:12:01 Siobhan: Five, for those still counting.

1:12:04 Lou: Wow, tips are bad.

1:12:04 Siobhan: Tips are bad.

1:12:07 Lou: Everyone's saving up for the holidays, you know?

1:12:09 Siobhan: These fucking elves!

1:12:09 Brennan: Yeah.

1:12:10 Siobhan: In Fallinel, you only tip 10, and they just think that that's right everywhere.

1:12:15 Brennan: Exactly. Any other tracks for Adaine?

1:12:18 Siobhan: Can I do a relaxation track, or-?

1:12:20 Brennan: Yeah.

1:12:20 Siobhan: As my 4th track?

1:12:22 Brennan: As your 4th track, so it's a DC 20, and you're adding-

1:12:25 Siobhan: Great. What am I adding?

1:12:26 Brennan: So you're gonna make a Wisdom saving throw.

1:12:30 Siobhan: Okay.

1:12:30 Brennan: It's DC 20 is a success, and then every three points above the DC is another stress token removed. I will say this. For obvious reasons, you cannot take stress tokens on relaxation rolls.

1:12:43 Siobhan: Sure. I do get a plus seven to Wisdom saving throws.

1:12:45 Brennan: Okay, let's see what happens. Here we go. (die rolling)

1:12:48 Siobhan: Mm, no.

1:12:51 Brennan: What does Adaine's attempt to relax look like?

1:12:54 Siobhan: I get a massage, but just, somebody touching me-

1:12:57 Emily: Oh my god.

1:12:57 Siobhan: My shoulders, every time they're like, "Just relax, relax. Just relax." And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm relaxed." And every time somebody tells me to relax, I become more stressed out.

1:13:09 Brennan: I think it's probably at Mordred, and Lydia is like,

1:13:11 Lydia: You've just got to breathe. Just breathe. You've just got to breathe. (Adaine hyperventilating)

1:13:14 Lydia: No, god, stop breathing!

1:13:16 Ally: I'm laughing at you through the little hole in the thing, taking pictures of you.

1:13:18 Adaine: How did you get in here?

1:13:21 Lou: Holy shit, Adaine's getting a massage?

1:13:23 Adaine: Why are you naked again? Why is this your thing?

1:13:27 Brennan: Great, let's go to-

1:13:29 Kristen: I'm just trying to be closer.

1:13:30 Brennan: We've got Fabian, Fig, and Kristen, all need to do downtime.

1:13:35 Ally: I can start.

1:13:35 Brennan: Let's do it.

1:13:37 Ally: I got it locked and loaded. Kristen kinda has her note cards that she's going over in her room, and she's back in full rodeo mode. [western music]

1:13:48 Ally: Untucked shirt- untucked dress shirt with the tie. We've got the Wranglers on, cowboy hat. Walks out the door. I'm going straight to Oakshield Middle School to give a speech. Camera cuts to Murph’s twisted expression. Emily and Siobhan laugh.

1:14:03 Ally: Just, like, a quick campaign stop. (presidential music)

1:14:05 Riz: Not our school!

1:14:05 Kristen: It's extremely important.

1:14:08 Emily: I will be there as a security detail.

1:14:10 Lou: I'm not going.

1:14:10 Ally: You don't just start with the plant. You go all around the roots, the soil.

1:14:15 Siobhan: I guess some of them have older siblings that they can-

1:14:16 Ally: Exactly. So I'm at Oakshield, kinda talking about Fetty Wap.

1:14:21 Brennan: Gotcha.

1:14:21 Ally: And my big plans for the school, and I'd love to roll popularity.

1:14:25 Brennan: Go ahead and give me popularity.

1:14:27 Murph: At the middle school?

1:14:27 Ally: Yeah, at the middle school. You got me this gig!

1:14:31 Murph: I definitely didn't!

1:14:34 Brennan: I think I actually got Murph with Sklonda's speech a little bit. A little bit. What the fuck is everyone doing?

1:14:41 Emily: I've only invested because I knew it was important to you. I only invested in academics because I knew that Riz needed it.

1:14:49 Ally: Exactly.

1:14:49 Brennan: Here we go. Popularity. (Ally and Lou screaming)

1:14:53 Brennan: What was that? What was that?

1:14:56 Ally: 19; last second, nat one.

1:14:58 Brennan: Oh no!

1:14:58 Ally: So brutal. I'm gonna have to reroll, so I will take a stress token.

1:15:01 Siobhan: Get stressed, baby.

1:15:03 Lou: Fully removed from the property.

1:15:04 Murph: You're taking a stress to give a speech at not our school?

1:15:06 Lou: You're an adult. You cannot be here.

1:15:08 Ally: These middle schoolers are vicious! The second I went up there, someone went, "She farted!" and everyone laughed.

1:15:16 Murph: I think Riz-

1:15:16 Ally: Come on!

1:15:17 Murph: ...has gotten wind of this, and is running from his house.

1:15:20 Ally: Goddammit, that's a fucking 11. But the DC is five? What's the actual DC?

1:15:25 Brennan: The DC is five. Let me go get popularity here real quick. So, yeah, DC five. What'd you actually end up rolling?

1:15:35 Ally: Oh, I got an 11.

1:15:37 Brennan: 11, so you will have advantage on the first Charisma check when meeting any new middle schooler.

1:15:44 Ally: Amazing.

1:15:44 Zac: Middle schooler!

1:15:45 Ally: Amazing. I'm hobnobbing, I'm hanging out afterwards.

1:15:51 Murph: Why?

1:15:51 Ally: I do a backflip.

1:15:52 Murph: Why?!

1:15:53 Brennan: There's a ton of-

1:15:54 Zac: They're not gonna vote at all!

1:15:55 Brennan: ...11 year old dwarven skaters. They all are so small, with huge beards and little skateboards, and they just go,

1:16:03 Middle Schooler: Hey, where should I tell me older brother to vote for ye?

1:16:06 Kristen: Yeah. Did you say when?

1:16:06 Middle Schooler: What?

1:16:08 Kristen: Sorry, what'd you say?

1:16:08 Middle Schooler: I cannae understand ye.

1:16:11 Kristen: A candy? Yeah!

1:16:14 Ally: I do a high five and then I try to make a really complicated handshake with them.

1:16:19 Kristen: Next time we see each other, we're gonna do this, okay?

1:16:23 Middle Schooler: Aye, for my father's-

1:16:23 Kristen: I'll catch you later.

1:16:28 Brennan: You head out.

1:16:28 Emily: Does Kipperlilly have a younger sibling at that middle school?

1:16:31 Ally: Oh yeah, can I do some rooting around? Are people dying at their school, too? Or is it like-

1:16:36 Brennan: Hardly anyone's dying at Oakshield, yeah.

1:16:38 Lou: Thank god.

1:16:38 Zac: Hardly?

1:16:39 Kristen: Make sure you check the soil!

1:16:39 Ally: And I leave.

1:16:41 Lou: Check the soil! You 10 year olds check the soil.

1:16:46 Brennan: That's your first track.

1:16:46 Ally: Yeah. Big success? Is that what you were about to say? Did I interrupt you?

1:16:51 Brennan: Moderate success, moderate success.

1:16:53 Murph: Moderate success at the middle school.

1:16:53 Ally: Great. Yeah, great. It'll count for something, I'm positive. I tip my hat to security, who somehow let me in. I go, thanks guys!

1:17:01 Brennan: Give me a Perception check.

1:17:05 Zac: Salsa spilling everywhere.

1:17:05 Ally: 14.

1:17:08 Brennan: 14? Cool, all good.

1:17:08 Murph: Some maniac in Wranglers.

1:17:10 Ally: Goddammit. I'm gonna Human Determination.

1:17:13 Brennan: Human Determination. Gimme another roll.

1:17:14 Murph: And a cowboy hat!

1:17:14 Ally: Goddammit, that's worse.

1:17:14 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:17:16 Brennan: Kristen, that's your first track. What's your second?

1:17:18 Ally: I'm gonna do relationships, actually, for the second one.

1:17:20 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

1:17:21 Ally: For this one, I would love to talk to Lydia at the house.

1:17:27 Brennan: Sure.

1:17:28 Ally: And then also, if I can add another one, Buddy in class.

1:17:31 Brennan: So go ahead and give me an Insight check.

1:17:35 Ally: Okay, okay. 19.

1:17:37 Brennan: And the DC for this was 15.

1:17:37 Ally: Cool.

1:17:39 Brennan: Go ahead and roll 1d4 for me.

1:17:41 Ally: All right, all right. Two.

1:17:43 Brennan: Okay, cool. So you're hanging out at Mordred. Sandra Lynn is getting ready to head off to work. It's another morning as you're sort of getting ready. You see Sandra Lynn and Jawbone are talking, and Sandra Lynn's like,

1:17:52 Sandra Lynn: We don't have to go.

1:17:54 Brennan: And Jawbone's like,

1:17:54 Jawbone: I've never been to- Well, no, I've been to Fallinel a couple times. But not, you know, sober! So that'd be great.

1:18:00 Kristen: You're gonna love it.

1:18:00 Jawbone: It'd be fun!

1:18:01 Brennan: You see that Lydia comes in and says,

1:18:04 Lydia: Morning, gang. How's it going? Hey, I saw that you guys were done sort of poring through all the books from Rana and Cormyr. Just wanna make sure that you guys got everything you needed.

1:18:12 Kristen: We did, yeah. Thank you so much. That was so helpful.

1:18:15 Lydia: Of course, happy to help.

1:18:16 Kristen: There was one last thing I was wondering, but I really wanted to have an honest conversation with you about if it would be awkward, but is there a way to talk to Bakur? Or is that just kind of like an annoying part of your life, and you don't wanna talk to him?

1:18:35 Lydia: He's aware, and you could talk to him. I cannot. And by cannot, I mean I must not talk to him. Does that make sense?

1:18:46 Kristen: Ooh, kinda like, he's so annoying, or it's like you actually can't interact with him for your own safety?

1:18:53 Lydia: The latter.

1:18:53 Kristen: Oh, okay.

1:18:54 Lydia: That doesn't mean that if there weren't a great reason to, that you couldn't.

1:18:58 Kristen: Totally, totally.

1:19:01 Lydia: This is outside of my wheelhouse, right? I don't know exactly the magic you would need to do. He's imprisoned, but I know there's lots of ways to communicate telepathically through other means. If you could assure me that it was safe, I would be okay with someone doing that very carefully.

1:19:18 Kristen: Cool. I feel like I haven't done enough research to make sure that it's super safe for you, so I just wanted to kinda...

1:19:24 Ally: I kinda bring Lydia up to speed on the stuff that we've found so far.

1:19:28 Brennan: Cool. Like what, exactly? Is it sort of just-

1:19:31 Ally: I think I'm just like,

1:19:32 Kristen: I think Bakur was trying to bring back the partner of my deity that went away. And if we've all kind of compared notes or you guys have told me what you've heard and stuff, I might be like, and it kinda sounds like that got changed over time and became more fiendish or something, and that was the version of them that Bakur was trying to bring back. So it sounds like stuff had gotten out of hand. Especially if you were there trying to stop it, it must've been a bad thing.

1:20:04 Lydia: Yeah. I mean, the deity was, you know... Bakur was a fiend of the Nine Hells.

1:20:12 Kristen: Yeah.

1:20:13 Lydia: This god was a god of the Nine Hells, a god of, you know, fire and rage and torment, yadda yadda, all that stuff.

1:20:24 Kristen: I mean, we on our trip had to defeat the Nightmare King, and it was really, really awful and really tormenting, but it ended up being my much more peaceful god, who's into mysteries. It seems like maybe they can be corrupted or take on different-

1:20:43 Lydia: Yeah, it seems like they can also be redeemed, right? That's your experience with Cassandra, and maybe... 'Cause when Cassandra vanished when you were fighting at Adaine's former job, it was like something appeared in her chest and started to come out. I wonder what prompted that, or why that started at that point and didn't happen before.

1:21:07 Kristen: Yeah, it feels like a corruption or something.

1:21:08 Lydia: That food court was not in the Material Realm, right?

1:21:11 Kristen: Mm-mmm.

1:21:12 Lydia: There was something about that in the first adventure to stop Bakur, that there's ways... It's easier to get a god's influence into these realms that sort of orbit Spyre rather than... Getting the gods into Spyre itself is really hard. So maybe there's something-

1:21:29 Kristen: You mean-

1:21:31 Lydia: Cassandra might've been more vulnerable in that food court than she would've been somewhere else.

1:21:36 Kristen: That's interesting, because the person I never fucking trusted convinced her to go there and pass out leaflets. This little bitch-ass cat. Interesting. Well, I just wanted to let you know. We're really looking for this god, but I don't think that this affects Bakur. I think he was trying to bring back a worse version of this god, but I would love to ask him if he knows if anyone on Earth knows this god's name, if there's anyone I could talk to.

1:22:12 Lydia: Look. If things in Elmville are fucking around with this god, which it sounds like they are, then that god coming back some other way, the god will come for Bakur and kill me. So it's in my interest to even take some calculated risks here, right? I'm not interested in playing it safe up until the moment that whatever-

1:22:37 Kristen: You get iced out of nowhere. Yeah, totally, totally.

1:22:39 Lydia: So yeah, let's do it. If you can talk to Fig and Adaine and the rest of your gang and make sure there's a safe way to do it, I'd be happy to make myself available for however that ritual would need to work.

1:22:51 Ally: I have the Sending spell. Would I be able to-

1:22:54 Emily: Oh yeah, you could do that. I was thinking if Adaine has Detect Thoughts.

1:22:57 Ally: That too, yeah.

1:22:58 Emily: But you could Send, try that, and then-

1:23:00 Ally: 'Cause you get one response back.

1:23:02 Emily: Yeah.

1:23:03 Ally: Is this something we would wanna do right now, or does this feel like way too big to do on a relationships roll?

1:23:09 Brennan: I think that you guys would know that you can definitely throw some off the cuff spellcasting in there, but it's very possible that inside that gem is considered extraplanar-

1:23:20 Emily: Mm.

1:23:20 Siobhan: Sure.

1:23:21 Brennan: ...in terms of Sending spells and things like that, right? So there may be some limitations there. But there also just could be risks, right? Lydia seems to be like, "I can't talk-" the attitude you get from her when she's like, "I can't talk to him," is that talking to him will enable him to use some devil-like abilities to either dominate or charm or do other stuff.

1:23:39 Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:23:40 Siobhan: Okay. Maybe we can get the AV Club on doing some research into how to safely do that.

1:23:47 Brennan: Yeah, also, if you guys wanted to work together to do a research track to- outside of the rules of normal D&D just to create a ritual that could do that, more than happy to have that work as well, especially if you're all collaborating on it together.

1:24:00 Siobhan: Yeah, I mean, I feel like we all have a little bit of, like, if we cast five spells together-

1:24:05 Ally: I was gonna say, if you both are ready with a Counterspell on either side, and then I could maybe try Sending.

1:24:09 Siobhan: Right.

1:24:11 Ally: Which would have a 90% chance interplanar. I think it's only-

1:24:13 Siobhan: Gotcha.

1:24:14 Ally: It knocks 10% off or something like that for me.

1:24:17 Emily: Yeah, and then I think the question is, well, we wouldn't be able to see Bakur, so we couldn't Counterspell.

1:24:22 Ally: Oh, got it.

1:24:24 Emily: I think you have to be able to see someone to Counterspell them.

1:24:26 Zac: Can you Dispel Magic?

1:24:28 Siobhan: You can Dispel Magic. You can also-

1:24:30 Ally: But that might dispel what's keeping him in there.

1:24:32 Siobhan: I have advantage on charm.

1:24:32 Ally: Okay, cool.

1:24:35 Siobhan: So if it's a charm or Dominate Person thing, I would maybe be the person to do it.

1:24:39 Emily: I think the concern is doing it on Lydia.

1:24:42 Siobhan: Right.

1:24:42 Ally: Yeah, okay. Well, I'm glad I talked about this, and then I talk with you guys to make a potential-

1:24:48 Siobhan: We'll look into it and find a healthy, safe way of doing it, if we can.

1:24:51 Murph: I think to have it, can I, with Lydia's permission, use the Gregorian Necktie to do a Detect Evil to kinda see what that aura is that maybe she radiates from Bakur, just so I can recognize it in things in the future?

1:25:06 Siobhan: Ooh, smart.

1:25:06 Ally: Oh, so smart.

1:25:08 Brennan: You look at that, and go ahead and give me an Investigation check, actually.

1:25:14 Siobhan: Can I give him the Help action by looking at it using my looking at Ethereal Plane-

1:25:19 Brennan: Hell, yes.

1:25:19 Ally: Oh shit.

1:25:20 Lou: Absolutely-

1:25:20 Murph: 30.

1:25:22 Brennan: 30, Jesus!

1:25:22 Lou: Devastating roll form.

1:25:25 Brennan: I think there's an evening- as it's getting into the end of December, there is an evening where all of you are at Mordred Manor, up in the wizard's tower, and Riz, you've got the Gregorian Necktie and are able to download. And you project this full arcano-tech crystal hologram of the extradimensional space created inside the gem. And you can see that the gem is literally being powered by a mix of blood pressure, cortisol, intense endorphins and emotional things from Lydia. Lydia's constant state of agitation, which you don't even see expressed in her personality, it's just a purely physical rage.

1:26:09 Siobhan: Wow, how do you do it? Lean in.

1:26:10 Brennan: Yeah, lean in. (techno music) And basically what you can see is that devils always find cracks in their jails, but there's almost a wabi-sabi principle of, a flaw creates perfection, where because the gem is just open on one end, that's the only way that the devil can escape from, and it's just Lydia's wall of rage that makes it impassible.

1:26:32 Murph: Right.

1:26:33 Brennan: So that's what sort of makes it a perfect prison, right?

1:26:36 Murph: Cool. So I guess I would be curious if any kind of energy that Bakur is giving off, if I can see that in... I guess during downtime, I'd like to check in on somebody like Buddy, who is worshiping Helio.

1:26:54 Emily: I've got Divine Sense.

1:26:55 Murph: And then as well as, I'd like to just record the moon.

1:26:59 Brennan: You start recording the moon, recording that. I think you find effectively what we would call MNA, magical nucleic acid. You're finding a string of magical sequencing. I'm gonna say from this point on, anytime you do any kind of Detect Magic or Detect Evil and Good, you will be able to see whether something is directly of Bakur. But you also find a deific, almost mitochondrial DNA of, oh, here's Bakur, but here's actually where he gets his power from.

1:27:33 Murph: Right.

1:27:33 Brennan: The deity that created him.

1:27:34 Siobhan: Cool.

1:27:34 Brennan: So you're also able to be like, if you were to investigate anything else, you now have this magical sequence being like, is this of the deity that produced Bakur?

1:27:43 Siobhan: So Cassandra was married to a female or nonbinary or transmasc deity. Mitochondrial.

1:27:51 Brennan: Fun mitochondria facts.

1:27:54 Ally: Excuse me?

1:27:55 Siobhan: Mitochondrial.

1:27:55 Ally: Mitochondria?

1:27:56 Brennan: You were able to find that on that 30.

1:27:57 Siobhan: Mitochondrial DNA is only female.

1:27:59 Ally: Oh, gotcha. The powerhouse of the cell. Brennan/Siobhan: The powerhouse of the cell.

1:28:03 Brennan: You're also able to isolate that kind of power there, on that 30, so anything else you investigate, you can just ask me straight-up, is that of Bakur?

1:28:12 Murph: Great.

1:28:12 Ally: So sick.

1:28:13 Brennan: Is that of the deity that produced Bakur?

1:28:14 Murph: Excellent.

1:28:14 Brennan: You cast Divine Sense for the first time as a paladin power.

1:28:19 Siobhan: Wow.

1:28:19 Murph: Whoa!

1:28:22 Emily: I mean, it's flavored like the German Shepherd security detail.

1:28:25 Ally: I was gonna ask!

1:28:27 Emily: I think I sniff the air.

1:28:27 Ally: Paw prints.

1:28:28 Murph: Are you barking at the moon? (Emily sniffing) (Ally laughing)

1:28:33 Brennan: I want you to give me a roll based on either if you are treating this moment with hostility and protectiveness, or whether you are being very open and receptive. What's the energy you're coming into this with?

1:28:47 Emily: Definitely not hostility. Just protectiveness.

1:28:49 Brennan: Protectiveness.

1:28:49 Emily: Yeah.

1:28:50 Brennan: So let's say not hostility, aggression. There's some degree of getting in front of something dangerous.

1:28:54 Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:28:54 Brennan: Yeah, cool. Go ahead and give me either Persuasion or Performance. (die rolling)

1:29:01 Emily: Seven becomes a 21.

1:29:05 Brennan: Hoo-hoi!

1:29:05 Ally: Wow. I give you a liver treat.

1:29:09 Emily: I eat it.

1:29:09 Brennan: You cast Divine Sense. You think of a German Shepherd, and as you're looking at this display of the crystal, it's just a display, but you notice- (punk music) how big is your paladin aura? You don't have an aura yet.

1:29:23 Emily: I don't have an aura.

1:29:25 Brennan: However big, I think it starts at 10 feet, right?

1:29:27 Emily: I know anything within 60 feet.

1:29:30 Ally: Wow, great.

1:29:30 Brennan: That's Divine Sense. Cool. As you cast that, you see that in the projection, there's this really warm, powerful, red glow that represents Lydia's magical rage entering and blocking off the gem. Your Gregorian Necktie projects a almost identical but slightly different aura coming out of Fig's chest, this powerful, raging heartbeat. You see that whereas Lydia's is very blood red, this is a very fiery red projection.

1:30:06 Emily: Oh, 'cause I'm fiendish.

1:30:08 Ally: Yeah, and you're good at raging.

1:30:10 Murph: And you're cursed.

1:30:10 Ally: And you're cursed!

1:30:12 Siobhan: Fire? Fiend, probably?

1:30:12 Brennan: Anyone who wants to, give me a Religion or Arcana in this moment.

1:30:16 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:30:16 Lou: I'll make an Arcana check.

1:30:19 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

1:30:19 Ally: Oh, that's right, baby. That's right.

1:30:23 Siobhan: 22 Arcana.

1:30:23 Brennan: 22 Arcana.

1:30:26 Ally: 25.

1:30:27 Brennan: 25 Religion.

1:30:27 Siobhan: Nice.

1:30:28 Brennan: Both of you are looking at this projection over Fig. As you attempt to go into German Shepherd mode, and you're snacking-

1:30:35 Zac: You should bite it, I think.

1:30:36 Siobhan: Yeah.

1:30:36 Emily: Is this not like a lollipop?

1:30:38 Siobhan: Very crumbly. Really high in iron, though.

1:30:41 Ally: I think you're doing it right.

1:30:42 Zac: I guess you could.

1:30:43 Ally: I think you're doing it right.

1:30:43 Siobhan: A lot of B12 vitamins in there.

1:30:44 Brennan: On that 22 Arcana and 25 Religion, both of you see an attraction in the space. You're not reading that as Bakur energy. You're not reading it as the deity's energy. But you see there is a profound elemental alignment.

1:31:02 Emily: Oh, it's because this Bakur was created by the entity, and I've pledged myself to the entity that then it mingled with and married.

1:31:15 Siobhan: Can I cast Remove Curse on Fig right now and see if that changes what Riz sees?

1:31:22 Brennan: You cast Remove Curse and direct your attention to Fig. Fig has multiple fiendish things going on. The first and most powerful aura that Fig has... The fact that Fig is a tiefling, not even in the top five.

1:31:32 Murph: Right.

1:31:34 Brennan: There's so much hellish shit going on.

1:31:36 Adaine: Damn, you're cool. Have you been cool this whole time?

1:31:40 Brennan: The first and most powerful aura is the anarchy symbol that momentarily comes into flame in the projection.

1:31:47 Ally: Metal as fuck.

1:31:47 Brennan: Which is that Fig is the Archdevil of Rebellion, right? That's the number one most important fiendish thing going on.

1:31:53 Ally: That's my president.

1:31:57 Brennan: The second thing that you see going on is this force of rage or aggression or power that matches Lydia's that is coming out of Fig that you see for the moment is somewhat unaligned or unaffiliated, it seems like.

1:32:16 Siobhan: Got it.

1:32:16 Brennan: Fig has just started to take on these paladin class levels. There's another piece of fiendish energy, which has to do with Fig's warlock things, which you also see is a little bit unaffiliated or unaligned right now. And then the fourth fiendish aura is this curse that is gleaming yellow-gold, kind of like the Armor of Pride and a little bit like lemon yogurt.

1:32:42 Adaine: You got piss cursed.

1:32:46 Brennan: And those are all of the fiendish things going on.

1:32:49 Ally: Wow.

1:32:49 Murph: What were you saying? What was Wanda Childa listening to? The Complicated Women Podcast?

1:32:54 Emily: Oh, that's gonna come into play.

1:32:56 Murph: You could be on the Complicated Women Podcast.

1:32:57 Emily: Whenever I have downtime, that's gonna come into play.

1:32:59 Ally: Oh my god, yes.

1:33:00 Siobhan: Oh, I have a spell for Wanda Childa, also.

1:33:03 Emily: Really?

1:33:03 Siobhan: Yeah, for the next time. If we want to send Wanda Childa undercover, I have-

1:33:07 Emily: Wanda Childa, I've been waiting patiently for my downtime.

1:33:11 Brennan: For Wanda Childa.

1:33:12 Ally: If Wanda Childa gives us a Bardic, is it still cursed?

1:33:15 Siobhan: Great question.

1:33:16 Ally: Is that a workaround?

1:33:16 Emily: We could try. I turn into Wanda Childa.

1:33:17 Brennan: You could try. Little workaround.

1:33:18 Murph: Don't do it.

1:33:20 Brennan: Sorry, so finishing up your relationships-

1:33:23 Ally: I get another one?

1:33:23 Brennan: You get one more.

1:33:25 Ally: Okay, cool. I'm not literally dying to talk to my parents, so I might prioritize Buddy.

1:33:28 Brennan: Cool.

1:33:30 Ally: And this could just be a quick little, say hi.

1:33:34 Brennan: Yeah, you talk to Buddy in the hall. You see Buddy looks at you. You see that he's gone ahead and put a Rat Grinders sticker on your locker.

1:33:41 Kristen: Hey, uh...?

1:33:43 Buddy: Hey there, Kristen. How's it going?

1:33:45 Brennan: As you guys can see, you all have your Rat Grinders on your- your little Rat Grinders stickers on the books.

1:33:48 Ally: We've all been tagged.

1:33:48 Siobhan: Yeah, we did not do this. [holds up a notebook with a Rat Grinders sticker] This was a fly by night operation.

1:33:52 Brennan: A little fly by night operation.

1:33:54 Lou: Get this shit off.

1:33:54 Ally: I peel it off my locker.

1:33:57 Buddy: Hey there.

1:33:57 Kristen: Hey. Okay. I'm not a Rat Grinder.

1:34:03 Buddy: Well, we're just trying to raise the profile, raise the roof.

1:34:07 Kristen: Okay, okay. Okay. Buddy, it's crazy that we're going to pass-fail.

1:34:13 Buddy: I know! I kinda don't understand that. I mean, it's sort of, you know, grades are sort of... To be honest with you, I'm not too worried about it, 'cause grades are of the material world. The only grade I care about is the grade that's gonna be passed on me by the Lord.

1:34:25 Kristen: Wait, you know what? Buddy, I was thinking about you. You're so, like, happy, or, like, chill or something. Do you ever get angry?

1:34:35 Buddy: I think I don't get angry. I think I get sad sometimes, when people choose to walk outside of the light of Helio.

1:34:42 Kristen: Totally. You've never gotten angry, though? I mean, anger is kinda like a Sol thing. At least Old Testament Sol. He's super angry.

1:34:51 Buddy: Oh, yes.

1:34:51 Kristen: Lots of rage.

1:34:53 Buddy: That is exactly how I feel. Leave wrath unto Sol. Leave wrath unto the sun, that he may distribute it in his beneficence. To feel wrathful, as a mortal being, it's not my place. You know, it's why I never hit anybody. I raise my hand, and sometimes a spell comes out and obliterates people.

1:35:13 Kristen: Oh my goodness.

1:35:16 Buddy: But that's Helio working through me. That's not me.

1:35:18 Kristen: Wow. Wow.

1:35:18 Buddy: I always say to people, we're not wizards. Clerics can't cast spells. I just stand here and I let Helio do his work.

1:35:25 Kristen: A conduit. That's cool. Do you pray before football games that you win?

1:35:30 Buddy: Before, during, after.

1:35:30 Kristen: Yeah, cool. That's great. How do you explain if both teams are praying? Anyway, sorry. Okay.

1:35:37 Buddy: I wanted to talk to you. Can I take you into counsel? Can I be in counsel with you?

1:35:43 Kristen: I would love to be in counsel with you, Buddy.

1:35:46 Buddy: I think your younger brother is lost. I think he's feeling a little lost, and I would love-

1:35:52 Kristen: Bucky?

1:35:53 Buddy: Well, I just think that, you know, there are parts of Aguefort that I think he's being exposed to some things and, you know... I just know that he's of the flock, and I know that you are on sabbatical. You know, you're exploring other things. I personally have full faith-

1:36:10 Kristen: I'm on a walkabout.

1:36:11 Buddy: Helio doesn't make mistakes, Kristen. So he chose you for a reason, and I think one day, you're gonna open your arms wide, he's gonna open his arms wide-

1:36:19 Kristen: Helio fell ass backwards into being a god.

1:36:24 Buddy: Huh?

1:36:24 Kristen: If you meet that man, you will know that it's a comedy of errors, how he became a god. I appreciate that, though, Buddy. I was wondering. You said, leave the wrath and stuff to Sol. Have you felt any of that recently? Wrath or rage or anger coming from Sol? Are people talking about that back at church?

1:36:49 Buddy: Oh, of course. Sol is very mad. I mean, this entire long night, you know, the Night Yorb and everything coming out to attack people. You know, a lot of people left the church in that time, and they're all gonna go straight to Hell.

1:37:03 Kristen: Okay, okay. You got a lot of... You must feel a lot of control over life. I bet that's pretty nice.

1:37:11 Buddy: I don't feel any control over life. I don't hold tight, 'cause I'm in someone's hand.

1:37:17 Kristen: Who's holding tight.

1:37:18 Buddy: You know Helio's holding onto us tight.

1:37:20 Kristen: Helio does everything for you, huh?

1:37:22 Buddy: Does everything for me.

1:37:22 Kristen: Autopilot!

1:37:25 Buddy: You know, I wanna talk to you about something. I came here from Highcourt with my grandfather.

1:37:29 Kristen: Oh yeah, right.

1:37:30 Buddy: Bobby Dawn, who's a- [Zac laughs]

1:37:34 Buddy: And my grandma, Pamela Dawn. Pam Dawn and Bobby Dawn, you know, they have a ministry that has been going, I think, very well for a long, long time.

1:37:43 Brennan: You actually know Bobby Dawn is a sort of-

1:37:46 Ally: I went to some of his teach-ins-

1:37:48 Zac: Evangelist?

1:37:48 Brennan: Evangelist, yeah.

1:37:49 Ally: ...when I was growing up.

1:37:49 Brennan: He's a priest of Sol, but is connected to the church of Helio, et cetera.

1:37:54 Emily: Televangelist, in that they teleport.

1:37:56 Brennan: Yes, a teleporting Evangelist. He says,

1:37:59 Buddy: You know what's sorta interesting to me is, so, our cleric teacher has passed away. I don't really care about the pass-fail thing, but I understand it might put some people in some academic jeopardy. My grandfather is in town teaching, and if he were to come— [Lou hums disapprovingly]

1:38:16 Buddy: And, you know, take over the cleric track, I think that maybe-

1:38:18 Kristen: Mm-mmm.

1:38:22 Buddy: ...that would be a way...

1:38:24 Kristen: A traveling televangelist specifically for Sol is gonna become the cleric teacher for all of us?

1:38:30 Buddy: Well, I think he's, you know- I mean, every cleric has to have some kinda deity, right? So it's never gonna be perfectly neutral.

1:38:38 Kristen: I guess that's true.

1:38:40 Buddy: And he's a very advanced and very wise cleric.

1:38:46 Kristen: Well, okay. That's good to know.

1:38:49 Buddy: He did go to Aguefort, once upon a time.

1:38:51 Kristen: Really?

1:38:51 Buddy: Yeah.

1:38:53 Kristen: Oh, wow. I think that's just gonna be absolutely fucking hell for me. Okay. Wow. Wow, that's really crazy. Well, you're kinda making me think I need to go check in on my brother, so it was great talking to you, Buddy.

1:39:14 Buddy: All right. Hey, don't worry about it. If you can't look after him, I'm happy to look after him.

1:39:18 Kristen: I'll never let you do that.

1:39:22 Buddy: Careful. Wrath is not given unto us, Kristen Applebees.

1:39:29 Kristen: I'll fucking show you, Buddy.

1:39:32 Ally: I start stancing.

1:39:35 Brennan: As you mutter, "I'll show you," he says,

1:39:36 Buddy: You and what god?

1:39:39 Kristen: Oh, she's coming back.

1:39:39 Buddy: Oh, for the second time?

1:39:42 Kristen: Yes.

1:39:42 Buddy: Okay.

1:39:43 Kristen: Yours only came back once. (all laughing)

1:39:46 Brennan: You go back. You head back out. Incredible. Let's move over to Fig. Let's get these downtimes.

1:39:57 Emily: Okay. The only things I wanna do is learn how to Smite from Porter, and then the more important thing, though... Okay, I wanna pitch you on this, because I'm trying to do a mystery thing, but I'm doing social engineering.

1:40:12 Brennan: Okay.

1:40:12 Emily: So can the skill be Persuasion or Performance, if I'm social engineering rather than investigating?

1:40:20 Brennan: Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you wanna use the popularity track to try to gain insight or knowledge into-

1:40:27 Emily: Yeah.

1:40:27 Brennan: Okay, cool. Yeah, I think so, for sure.

1:40:28 Emily: Okay.

1:40:30 Brennan: Let's go ahead- so let me know what track you're rolling on first. You're doing academics first?

1:40:34 Emily: I am prioritizing academics, so I will do that first.

1:40:37 Brennan: Hell, yeah. Go ahead and give me barbarian first, or sorry, paladin first. So that can be either, I would say that's either Religion or Athletics, probably.

1:40:49 Emily: Okay, then I'm gonna do Athletics, and it becomes a 19.

1:40:53 Brennan: A+ in paladin class. [players clap]

1:40:53 Ally: Woo! Nice.

1:40:56 Brennan: You have an interaction. So as you're learning smiting and stuff like that, you see- you and Porter are working together. Porter is happy as a fucking clam. Gorgug's killing it in barbarian classes. He feels like he made a difference.

1:41:09 Emily: Gorgug's almost getting too mean. [Gorgug growls]

1:41:13 Zac: Pacing around in the back of the classroom.

1:41:16 Gorgug: Sorry. Get away from me!

1:41:18 Porter: Let him be! He's too powerful!

1:41:20 Brennan: So after class, you see Porter sorta taking a tutoring, 'cause he's not teaching a full paladin class.

1:41:26 Emily: Yeah, yeah.

1:41:26 Brennan: You're rolling, basically, you're learning how to Smite. You're learning Divine Sense. You're learning how to Smite.

1:41:30 Emily: Yeah.

1:41:30 Brennan: And I think actually, let's go ahead, are you gonna roll warlock next? Now that you have your MCAT, you roll with advantage.

1:41:36 Emily: Oh, I roll with advantage?

1:41:36 Brennan: Yeah.

1:41:38 Emily: Cool! Yeah, I'll do, hmm-

1:41:42 Brennan: Or would you do another track next?

1:41:44 Emily: So I've got bard, warlock, paladin. I think I'll do bard next, actually.

1:41:49 Brennan: Okay, go ahead, roll this with, I'm actually gonna say two, for reasons that I will not divulge right now. Actually, you will roll bard, and that will stay at a five, so you're actually gonna roll with a DC five two times. So go ahead and roll on your bard.

1:42:02 Emily: Cool!

1:42:02 Brennan: You roll with advantage.

1:42:05 Emily: I got- what do I add to that? Performance?

1:42:07 Brennan: Performance.

1:42:07 Emily: 29.

1:42:09 Brennan: Jesus Christ.

1:42:09 Lou: Cha-cha-cha!

1:42:10 Brennan: A+ paladin, A+ bard.

1:42:13 Emily: This is all for you, Riz.

1:42:15 Brennan: And now go ahead and roll warlock. This will now bump up to a DC 10.

1:42:18 Emily: Okay.

1:42:19 Brennan: And this can be Deception, Performance, or Persuasion.

1:42:21 Emily: Okay, and then is this with advantage 'cause of the MCAT?

1:42:23 Brennan: Yep, MCAT gives you advantage.

1:42:25 Emily: That is a 25.

1:42:27 Lou: A-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

1:42:29 Brennan: 22 is the DC for an A+. Boom, A+ across the board! Murph claps.

1:42:33 Ally: Nice!

1:42:33 Brennan: So actually, you come into that room one day and see Porter and Zara both hanging out, and you see she says,

1:42:41 Zara: Ah, Ms. Faeth. Welcome to independent study.

1:42:45 Fig: Thank you. That does feel right.

1:42:46 Brennan: You see that both of them are talking about it, and basically, Porter just chats with you and says,

1:42:52 Porter: Look, ultimately, you know, we spoke with Lucilla, who is-

1:42:55 Fig: I made her cry.

1:42:55 Porter: This is not your fault.

1:42:58 Fig: I've been thinking about it nonstop.

1:43:00 Porter: She is taking a sabbatical for the rest of the semester. [Siobhan and Emily burst out laughing]

1:43:05 Porter: So she's just asking everyone for a three paragraph essay talking about what has made them sad in the past.

1:43:12 Ally: Wow.

1:43:12 Emily: Oh my god!

1:43:14 Porter: And if they've ever disappointed anybody.

1:43:17 Zac: Holy shit.

1:43:18 Fig: I can write that real quick.

1:43:20 Brennan: Okay. You see Zara says,

1:43:21 Zara: Hey, we want you to know, it's not okay that she's taking it this hard.

1:43:26 Fig: No, no, it is. I understand. Porter, can I ask you, though, what is the cause that you've committed yourself to? I mean, I'm kinda trying to channel doubt into shattering things, but what is the cause or god that you... Why would you Smite?

1:43:46 Porter: I am an Oath of Ancestors paladin, so I am committed to the memory of all the proud Cliffbreakers who came before me, and the battles that they won, and I like to think of myself as being someone who fights on their behalf. You see Zara smiles here.

1:44:04 Siobhan: Porter's a giant right?

1:44:06 Brennan: And you see that Zara turns to you and says,

1:44:09 Zara: And we see that there is some synergy here, in effect. For your warlock classes, there is an agreement you must come to. You have said in the past that is an agreement with yourself you are seeking.

1:44:22 Brennan: And you see Porter says,

1:44:22 Porter: And obviously, you know, you don't need to formally make an oath yet, but you should think about where you're drawing that power from. Let's do some practice.

1:44:36 Brennan: You start sort of practicing with the bass, getting some smiting in. There's a lot of synergy. It's your Hex weapon, and Zara's helping you with Hexblade's Curse. You see that she and Porter seem... You can roll an Insight check if you want.

1:44:49 Ally: Ha!

1:44:50 Emily: Oh wait, I roll with disadvantage. Okay, well, I got a 10.

1:44:54 Brennan: 10. Yeah, you know, they seem to have a collegial relationship, Zara and Porter.

1:45:00 Emily: God, I wish I rolled well on that. Luck point. Nat 20. No, goddammit!

1:45:04 Zac: No!

1:45:06 Emily: Still, though, 17.

1:45:06 Brennan: 17. There's a vibe. They're both getting into it. There's practice. You see they're having fun with-

1:45:13 Fig: This is fucking awesome.

1:45:15 Brennan: Mutually, there's a vibe here. Porter begins to break down for you, 'cause as those classes roll along, there is a lot of synergy. Your Divine Smites are very powerful. You have a lot of fiendish energy from your own bard levels to power your Smites, but you see that at the end of the day, they're gonna want you, before the midwinter break, to kind of assign your warlock agreement, what your actual agreement is, and the paperwork for this independent study specifically. So what Porter ends up saying is,

1:45:47 Porter: I wanna provide some honest feedback, because you're crushing it in these classes.

1:45:51 Fig: Yeah, I can take honesty.

1:45:53 Porter: Myself and Zara have been speaking.

1:45:56 Fig: It looks like a little more than that.

1:46:01 Porter: Ms. Faeth, the days of Vice Principal Goldenhoard are over, all right? We're not retreading this territory.

1:46:08 Fig: I know.

1:46:09 Porter: I wanna offer something to you. You have stated your commitment to the goddess Cassandra of doubt and mystery. I don't recognize that energy as being what is powering your Smites, and Zara, I think I'll let her speak for herself.

1:46:29 Brennan: You see Zara says,

1:46:29 Zara: Nor do I think that is where the nature of your warlock's agreement comes from.

1:46:35 Fig: Do you think it's possible that (thoughtful instrumental) my god is Kristen?

1:46:43 Brennan: You see that Porter sort of honestly shrugs and says,

1:46:46 Porter: Well listen, a paladin does not need to make an oath to a deity. I mean, it holds that level of sacredness.

1:46:56 Ally: Kristen's eating hot chips in the bathroom.

1:46:58 Brennan: Zara goes,

1:46:58 Zara: After all, she is your president, you know?

1:47:04 Fig: I've had the same thought.

1:47:04 Brennan: You see Porter says,

1:47:09 Porter: To break it down maybe a little more materially, you have this mode you go into.

1:47:15 Fig: Mm-hmm.

1:47:15 Porter: And it's beautiful. It is powerful and aggressive and dominant in the service of other people. And one of the hard things we have to do in teaching these classes is talk about the ways in which dominance and aggression is not evil. It's not wrong. It's just something that has to be wielded carefully. And looking at you and this power that you have, I can't help but wonder if, if Kristen was not very dear to you, would you have chosen Cassandra out of a lineup of deities?

1:47:51 Fig: No, it's really just that I feel like Kristen needs some help there, and I also feel like I'm the perfect person to help. Because she's doubt, I'm rebellion. They go hand in hand.

1:48:07 Brennan: You see Zara speaks up and says,

1:48:08 Zara: I think what you are feeling is beautiful. If you are feeling that doubt and rebellion go hand in hand, I know you worry for Kristen, but perhaps the way to support her is not to help her in lifting doubt, but to truly embrace rebellion. If you feel that that partnership would lend strength to her, then perhaps there is something there.

1:48:31 Fig: I don't know, a lot of my extracurricular time is taken up kind of being an escort for Fabian's girlfriend or running security detail at the steel mill.

1:48:44 Brennan: You see him smile and say,

1:48:44 Porter: How about this? I think there is a power within you, obviously, and the only thing I don't feel comfortable signing off on is saying you are a paladin of Cassandra.

1:48:59 Fig: Oh, okay.

1:48:59 Porter: Do you understand?

1:49:01 Fig: Yeah, yeah.

1:49:02 Porter: Because in reality, you're not. You're a paladin of something that is more within you, a paladin of some other power. If there was some entity that reflected rebellion that was connected to-

1:49:16 Fig: Rage.

1:49:18 Porter: Rage, yes. That mode, that doggy German Shepherd mode.

1:49:24 Fig: Mm-hmm.

1:49:25 Porter: If there was some other power like that that you knew could support Cassandra, was connected to your friend Kristen, maybe that's a worthwhile thing to explore, 'cause I don't see doubt as being what motivates you fundamentally.

1:49:40 Fig: Okay. I will go look for a cause that reflects me better.

1:49:48 Porter: Myself and Zara are both very, very proud to call you our student. You know, there's a lot of different classes here, and teachers can sometimes fight tooth and nail over making sure that the students that are gonna go out in the world and do the best work, you know, you get to say, that's one of mine! But I think we're very happy to share.

1:50:05 Brennan: You see Zara raises an eyebrow.

1:50:07 Fig: Oh, you're allowed to call it out, Zara.

1:50:09 Zara: I just raised an eyebrow. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, enough, Fig.

1:50:15 Fig: Okay, bye bye.

1:50:17 Zara: That agreement, yes? Sometime before winter.

1:50:19 Fig: Okay, agreement. New god, agreement. To-do list.

1:50:25 Brennan: Awesome. Anything after your academic tracks?

1:50:28 Emily: Yeah, I basically want to shadow Ruben.

1:50:32 Ally: Ooh.

1:50:32 Emily: Find a time when he's alone, set myself up as Wanda Childa on a bus stop. I'm gonna have an old school iPod, and the thing I'm listening to is Complicated Women, colon, Lucy Frostblade.

1:50:52 Ally: Oh!

1:50:52 Brennan: Wow! Wow, wow, wow. Go ahead, give me your DC 15. This can be Persuasion or Deception. Actually, I think this has to be Deception.

1:51:01 Siobhan: Can I, just to help Fig out, knowing that she's gonna do this, cast Nystul's Magic Aura? Which basically, any magical detection or any magical Divine Sense or anything like that will read as whatever we decide Wanda Childa is. I don't know what.

1:51:16 Brennan: Hell, yes. I'll let you-

1:51:19 Emily: Would my Actor feat give advantage, since I'm in disguise?

1:51:23 Brennan: Yes, let's have you roll with advantage.

1:51:24 Lou: Here we go now.

1:51:26 Emily: And this is Deception?

1:51:26 Brennan: This is Deception.

1:51:28 Emily: Nat 20.

1:51:28 Brennan: Hoi! Hoi hoi hoi!

1:51:31 Ally: Yes!

1:51:33 Brennan: 'Credible.

1:51:34 Ally: Oh, you love to see it.

1:51:34 Lou: It had to work. It's Wanda Childa.

1:51:35 Brennan: Incredible.

1:51:35 Siobhan: Had to!

1:51:37 Brennan: So you are on the bus.

1:51:40 Siobhan: She's so small, she can barely get on the seat herself.

1:51:43 Zac: Her feet are at the end.

1:51:43 Ally: Oh my god! I hope the bus comes soon! She's gonna blow away!

1:51:45 Siobhan: I bet she's so cold.

1:51:47 Zac: So people can see.

1:51:48 Brennan: Incredible. You see, walking on the bus, Ruben Hopclap steps onto the bus and walks towards the back and walks up to you and goes,

1:51:57 Ruben: Wanda? (emotional piano music) "Wanda" (Fig): Oh hey, Ruben. I didn't think I'd ever see you again.

1:52:06 Ruben: Where'd you go after Frosty Fair? "Wanda" (Fig): I went to go break up with my boyfriend.

1:52:16 Ruben: Frick. I'm so sorry. (player snickering) "Wanda" (Fig): I'm not. (players laughing)

1:52:25 Ruben: Do you wanna- "Wanda" (Fig): Sorry, I'm, like, in the middle of the most interesting podcast. I, like, love true crime.

1:52:30 Brennan: He looks at it. He stares at that and he says,

1:52:35 Ruben: What kinda podcast is that? "Wanda" (Fig): Oh, I don't know if you heard about it. There was, like, a body that was discovered, and they're investigating it.

1:52:43 Ruben: Wait, where's this podcast?

1:52:44 Brennan: He takes out his crystal and starts looking for it. "Wanda" (Fig): Oh, I got an early release.

1:52:47 Ruben: What? An early release? "Wanda" (Fig): I'm part of a-

1:52:51 Ruben: Is it like a Patreon? I'll go sign up for it. Where is it? "Wanda" (Fig): No no no, early release. I'm on a true crime-

1:52:57 Ruben: Could you forward it to me? "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, absolutely.

1:52:58 Ruben: Great. "Wanda" (Fig): But yeah, I'm just, like, insatiable for any details about this crime.

1:53:06 Ruben: What does it say in it? "Wanda" (Fig): So far, honestly, it's, like, nothing that I could get my rocks off to.

1:53:16 Ruben: Wait, how literally... Wait. "Wanda" (Fig): I mean, I just love true crime.

1:53:21 Ruben: You love true crime, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:53:23 Ally: [laughing] Literally. "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, so far, it's just kinda giving the background, that they, like, found this body or whatever.

1:53:30 Ruben: They found the body of Lucy Frostblade? "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, I thought that was common knowledge.

1:53:34 Ruben: Oh shit. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. That's so fucked up. I knew her really well. "Wanda" (Fig): Really?

1:53:39 Ruben: Yeah. "Wanda" (Fig): Holy shit, you knew her?

1:53:42 Ruben: Yeah, she was in my adventuring party. "Wanda" (Fig): What?

1:53:44 Ruben: Yeah. "Wanda" (Fig): Do you know what happened?

1:53:47 Ruben: Do you wanna take two seconds to forward however you got the podcast? I can give you my number. I can give you my email. "Wanda" (Fig): I'm sorry, I'm off the grid. That's why I use an iPod.

1:53:58 Ruben: Oh, that doesn't have service or... Oh, you have an iPod crystal. Okay, so it only plays MP3s and has no way of sending other stuff. Well then, you wouldn't be able to forward anything to me. "Wanda" (Fig): Well, because I do have a really big computer at home.

1:54:15 Ruben: Oh, it's big.

1:54:15 Ally: Now we're bragging.

1:54:16 Ruben: It's physically big? Yeah, sick, awesome. "Wanda" (Fig): It's big and really vintage. I got it secondhand.

1:54:22 Ruben: Okay. Yeah, I knew her super well. Yeah, it's really messed up. "Wanda" (Fig): That's crazy. What was she like?

1:54:31 Ruben: She was great. She was awesome. "Wanda" (Fig): Really?

1:54:35 Ruben: Yeah, she was really awesome. "Wanda" (Fig): Fuck, I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

1:54:39 Ruben: Yeah. She was really noble. She was, like, really true to her, like, stuck to her guns. Like, a really noble person. That's so crazy. Did they say anything else about the crime or how they discovered it or what the deal is? "Wanda" (Fig): No, honestly, it's mostly been interviewing people who knew someone who knew her.

1:54:59 Ruben: Weird, okay. "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, you can tell that they're gonna string it out for way more episodes than it should-

1:55:05 Ruben: Weird. Do you know if they're still in production? 'Cause I haven't been contacted by the podcast to interview. "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, actually.

1:55:10 Emily: Can we say that Fig has a burner email?

1:55:14 Brennan: Yeah, for sure. "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, I think they do, because- yeah, you know what, I think I can forward you the thing that I got it from.

1:55:23 Ruben: Right, 'cause you're on a sort of exclusive group. "Wanda" (Fig): Yeah, as soon as I get home.

1:55:26 Ruben: Great. Where do you- "Wanda" (Fig): What's your email address?

1:55:29 Emily: And then I reach out my hand to write it on my palm with a glitter pen. [Lou laughs]

1:55:37 Ruben: [writing] Rubby46@SOL.com.

1:55:45 Ally: Rubby46? [Zac laughs] "Wanda" (Fig): Awesome, yeah, I'll forward it to you, because, I don't know, maybe once you listen to it, we could, like, meet up, get coffee. You could tell me about her. Because you probably have, like, the most humanizing story of her. Maybe you could even be on the podcast.

1:56:08 Ruben: Yeah. Could you forward my agent's email to the people that make the podcast? Sorry, I'm getting mobbed for autographs right now, so I have to get off the bus. "Wanda" (Fig): It's just you and me on the bus.

1:56:18 Ruben: Yeah, but it's gonna- I can tell.

1:56:20 Emily: And the tires have been slashed.

1:56:22 Ruben: You can kinda sense when it's gonna happen. Yeah.

1:56:23 Brennan: And he gives you Lola Embers' email and he goes,

1:56:27 Ruben: Hey, Wanda, weird to run into you, and like, not only my email, but like, here's my phone number too.

1:56:33 Brennan: And he gives you his phone number and is like,

1:56:34 Ruben: And that's for if you just wanna chill- "Wanda" (Fig): Sorry, can you write it up here? My hand is so small.

1:56:39 Ruben: Yeah, we're running out of space. You should get a phone. Do you want me to get you a phone? "Wanda" (Fig): I just feel like phones-

1:56:44 Ruben: Hm? "Wanda" (Fig): I feel like phones manipulate you, and I kinda, I like to be a little mysterious.

1:56:52 Ruben: In some ways, I think-

1:56:52 Emily: And I Dimension Door away.

1:56:55 Ruben: Wanda!

1:56:55 Brennan: And you vanish. Incredible!

1:56:59 Murph: I like you being on a moving bus, and you keep the momentum, and you just roll on the side of the road.

1:57:04 Brennan: You watch the bus fly away as an aarakocra descends and lands on the bus and begins banging on the roof.

1:57:09 Agent Clark: I know you're in there!

1:57:11 Brennan: Okay, that's mystery track. Anything else from Fig?

1:57:15 Emily: Yeah, I wanna do relationships with Riz.

1:57:18 Brennan: Great, give me Insight.

1:57:20 Emily: Insight?

1:57:20 Brennan: Insight.

1:57:23 Emily: I got a seven.

1:57:24 Brennan: Okay, I don't think you're able to catch a lot of Riz in this very busy academic calender.

1:57:31 Emily: Okay, I leave him a card that says, "Thinking of you," and then I sign it, "From Gorgug." (players laughing)

1:57:40 Brennan: Incredible.

1:57:42 Emily: I forget how to be myself all the time.

1:57:45 Murph: In a brief moment of just letting go of all the stress, Riz breaks down and sends Gorgug walls of text about how much it means to him that he would think of him in this moment and how he knows we're all going through a lot.

1:58:00 Riz: We're going through a lot, we're not making a lot of time for each other, but the fact that you would make time for me in this way is just so meaningful.

1:58:09 Zac: Gorgug works in his lab.

1:58:09 Brennan: Yeah, great.

1:58:14 Zac: Could I give Riz something?

1:58:14 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:58:18 Zac: I'm gonna give him an artificer infusion that's just the magic item Medal of Wit.

1:58:25 Brennan: Oh! What does that do?

1:58:27 Zac: Once he uses it, it goes away, but you can use it as an action and you get advantage on Intelligence checks and saving throws for an hour.

1:58:34 Brennan: Whoa, incredible!

1:58:34 Murph: Whoa. Thank you, Gorgug.

1:58:38 Zac: And it's shaped like a little metal briefcase.

1:58:41 Ally: Aw, cute!

1:58:41 Brennan: That's genuinely- Aw, you guys are good to each other.

1:58:46 Zac: And I say,

1:58:46 Gorgug: Yeah, same. I left something-

1:58:50 Riz: Just the two things that you gave me were incredible. I can't believe you got me two things!

1:58:55 Gorgug: Yeah. (stammering) I'm just like... For my notes, I'm trying to remember what both are.

1:59:01 Riz: You know. You know, you absolute sweetie.

1:59:06 Gorgug: Yeah, I do!

1:59:08 Brennan: Fabian, let's run through your downtime.

1:59:10 Lou: Great. Popularity first.

1:59:12 Brennan: Let's do it.

1:59:12 Ally: That's right!

1:59:15 Lou: That'll be, with Performance?

1:59:17 Brennan: Yeah-huh.

1:59:17 Lou: 29.

1:59:19 Brennan: Ooh!

1:59:19 Ally: Advantage!

1:59:21 Brennan: 29 is maximum popularity.

1:59:24 Lou: Okay.

1:59:24 Zac: Maximum legend.

1:59:25 Brennan: Which means that you have, any stranger from Aguefort is charmed by you for one minute on meeting you.

1:59:32 Lou: Great.

1:59:32 Ally: Damn.

1:59:33 Lou: Yeah, I think Fabian-

1:59:35 Ally: Middle schoolers too, or no?

1:59:36 Lou: Yeah, middle schoolers included?

1:59:38 Brennan: No, not middle schoolers.

1:59:38 Ally: Okay, I'll cover that.

1:59:40 Lou: Great.

1:59:40 Murph: Different school.

1:59:41 Lou: Yeah, I think Fabian does go through with it and gets a Garthy O'Brien style gilded tattoo that just says “Maximum Legend” on either side of his neck.

1:59:51 Brennan: Oh my god.

1:59:53 Lou: And just shows up to school the next day wearing an A tank and no jacket.

1:59:55 Gorgug: Whoa!

1:59:58 Kristen: Oh!

1:59:58 Adaine: Wow, you-

2:00:00 Kristen: There's still Saran wrap on that.

2:00:01 Riz: It's so red. Did you go swimming as soon as you got it?

2:00:05 Kristen: Oh shit.

2:00:06 Fabian: No, you guys'll see it tomorrow. In, like, a week.

2:00:09 Adaine: It almost distracts from the fact that you can see full nipple through that shirt.

2:00:15 Kristen: The sun is pretty bad for it, honestly. Can I cover it with my shirt?

2:00:17 Fabian: Yeah, sure. Yeah, and the nipple thing-

2:00:20 Adaine: Kristen, come on!

2:00:21 Zac: I give you my hoodie.

2:00:22 Ally: I tie that around my waist and take my pants off.

2:00:26 Gorgug: So the front's still pretty on display.

2:00:28 Kristen: Yeah, but I am wearing a sports bra, and I think we're ready for that level of intimacy.

2:00:33 Brennan: Incredible. Popularity, through the roof. Also, you can tell that the school is kind of rickety. There's so little leadership. Classes are kinda whatever. So there's lots of just socializing in the halls and free periods and stuff like that. You're quickly ascending the ranks of most legendary students in the school's history.

2:00:53 Lou: There it is, dude. Hey, that's just the way a maximum legend does it.

2:00:56 Brennan: This guy killed the fucking principal and nothing happened. He's just popular.

2:01:02 Lou: Okay, for my next roll, I have a question.

2:01:05 Brennan: Yes.

2:01:07 Lou: Do I have any sense of how I might be able to talk to my papa, or have I ever talked to him since we came back from Hell?

2:01:16 Brennan: I don't think you've talked to him since you came back from Hell. I think that there are ways of plane shifting and other stuff like that, but I think that you would have to, like, it would not be easy, necessarily. But you could. You absolutely could.

2:01:33 Lou: Could I use my popularity advantage to find some nerd who might know how to speak interplanar?

2:01:41 Brennan: Go ahead, use advantage. It's gonna be Arcana, but you're gonna roll with advantage.

2:01:45 Lou: Great. That's a two and a three. Which is, no. Which is a no.

2:01:52 Brennan: You also could take stress here, if you want, but-

2:01:55 Lou: Would I still have advantage or would it just be another roll?

2:01:58 Brennan: I'd say it would still be advantage.

2:02:00 Lou: All right, throw one on there.

2:02:02 Brennan: Are you at four?

2:02:03 Lou: Yeah, I'm at four, and I didn't wanna take it this early, but-

2:02:07 Brennan: Hey, there you go.

2:02:08 Lou: (sighs heavily) Okay, that'll be a 20, or that's 21.

2:02:15 Brennan: On a 21, you talk to Skrank at the AV Club and he goes,

2:02:19 Skrank: Well, we could always put out an interplanar broadcast and try to talk to him that way.

2:02:24 Fabian: Yeah, let's try it.

2:02:27 Skrank: Do you wanna do it here? We could set up a booth for you at Seacaster Manor, if you want.

2:02:32 Fabian: Oh yeah, come through. Set up a booth. I'll get you some snacks. Do you still... Do you still eat-

2:02:41 Skrank: I don't fucking eat worms, man!

2:02:43 Fabian: I don't know!

2:02:43 Skrank: I don't fucking eat worms!

2:02:45 Fabian: I ate a bunch of guts the other day!

2:02:48 Skrank: What?

2:02:49 Fabian: A shit-ton of rotten vulture guts.

2:02:51 Skrank: Oh, you were eating... Is that a fucking-

2:02:52 Fabian: No! No!

2:02:54 Skrank: Vulture guts?

2:02:55 Fabian: No, it was because we were doing a thing in the woods.

2:02:57 Skrank: Fuck you, man!

2:02:57 Fabian: Come on, dude!

2:02:58 Skrank: Fuck you, man!

2:02:59 Fabian: Just come over on, like, Thursday after four, all right?

2:03:02 Brennan: Just Shellford comes by.

2:03:05 Fabian: Hey Shellford, be honest.

2:03:05 Shellford: Yeah.

2:03:07 Fabian: Is he mad?

2:03:08 Shellford: Yeah, he's fucking crazy mad. He keeps telling people he's gonna kick your ass.

2:03:13 Fabian: Oh, he's gonna kick my ass? Well, I'll tell you, when this heals, he'll know who he's dealing with.

2:03:20 Brennan: He sets up a booth for you. Shellford says,

2:03:22 Shellford: Yeah, so just set it to the Nine Hells, and you can broadcast there, and he'll be able to pick it up if he's got the sort of gear radio for it.

2:03:32 Fabian: Okay. Great. Are you gonna hang out, or are you gonna-

2:03:39 Shellford: No, I'll head out.

2:03:40 Fabian: Okay, cool. It's just, like, a private thing.

2:03:42 Shellford: Later.

2:03:42 Brennan: And you see he takes off.

2:03:48 Fabian: Breaker Breaker, this is Fabian Seacaster, looking for his papa, Bill Seacaster, somewhere out there in the Nine Hells. [silence]

2:04:07 Fabian: Breaker Breaker. (players laughing)

2:04:12 Fabian: Breaker Breaker? Fabian, coming in for Bill "Papa" Seacaster. Papa, are you out there? Papa?

2:04:27 Brennan: [rolls a d20 in the open] That's a three.

2:04:29 Fabian: Papa?

2:04:30 Brennan: You see that a little light comes on in the booth that indicates that the message is being captured and recorded somewhere.

2:04:37 Fabian: Okay. Well, it's your... It's your darling boy, Fabian. I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I'm out here dancing up a storm. They call me Maximum Legend at school. I'm really kicking ass. I killed the principal. I just think that would've been the kinda thing that, you know, we would've really celebrated. I was just calling because Fig is kind of under an intense curse and... I don't know. There's a lot going on, so we haven't been able to deal with it, but I just thought because you're in Hell and it seems like she got it in Hell, that you might be able to help. But anyway, I'm sure you're out there, I don't know, kicking ass and taking names, so it's all good if you're too busy. You know, I actually have some people coming over. I do a lo-fi study nights thing, so I need to go clean up for that. Anyway, love you, Papa.

2:05:53 Brennan: You leave that message. You walk out, and the booth is set up in this massive room. The sun has sort of set. You exit from the booth, look out at this massive room in Seacaster Manor, some barrels in a far off corner, a sofa that's like 40 feet away.

2:06:13 Lou: Got a podcast at maximum volume so it feels like there's anyone else here. I just start talking to it. That is a good point!

2:06:24 Brennan: Wrapping up downtime. Riz, you had a mystery roll that you wanted to make at the very end of your track. Is anyone else appending anything? Almost everyone's tracks are all the way full up.

2:06:33 Emily: I have one more kinda mystery thing.

2:06:35 Brennan: Yeah.

2:06:36 Emily: I am a little concerned- this is a really weird one, but I'm a little concerned about the amount of soil talk and the idea, and this agricultural, and I'm worried that we're currently in December. What's being planted that's going to come out in the spring? So I think I almost want to just go around and see who's planting stuff. What's been planted in the past couple-

2:07:02 Brennan: Riz wants to go to a farm.

2:07:04 Murph: That's true. Wanna come with?

2:07:06 Brennan: That's out in the farmland.

2:07:06 Emily: Yeah.

2:07:07 Brennan: You could definitely do that investigation.

2:07:09 Murph: You wanna come with?

2:07:09 Brennan: Was this the mystery roll you wanted to put at the end of your track?

2:07:12 Murph: So I'll probably do a couple mystery rolls, but yeah.

2:07:16 Brennan: Cool.

2:07:16 Murph: I think let's go out to- you wanna go out to Loam Farm with my mom?

2:07:18 Emily: Yeah.

2:07:20 Murph: We'll kinda combine these.

2:07:21 Emily: I can just give him the Help action.

2:07:22 Brennan: Great, you guys are gonna head out to Loam Farm.

2:07:24 Lou: I still have two academics and Owlbears.

2:07:26 Brennan: Let's go for it. Let's roll it out.

2:07:28 Lou: Fighter for 15. (die rolling)

2:07:30 Zac: You do MCAT?

2:07:30 Ally: Hey!

2:07:32 Lou: First one, I think, is flat, but that'll be, is it Athletics?

2:07:36 Brennan: It's Athletics, so the DC is starting at 15 now.

2:07:39 Lou: I got a 21.

2:07:41 Brennan: That's a B. You get a B in fighter.

2:07:43 Lou: I'll take it. Then I'm gonna do Owlbears for 20.

2:07:46 Brennan: Okay. (Siobhan gasps)

2:07:49 Lou: That's not it. that's a ni- or, can I add Acrobatics?

2:07:52 Brennan: You can add Acrobatics.

2:07:52 Lou: That's only 16.

2:07:54 Brennan: Okay. That's not gonna get it done.

2:07:55 Lou: That's fine. It's a weak couple of momths.

2:07:57 Brennan: So Gorgug, sort of in the first chunk, is slacking, and now you're slacking again. Gorthalax is sort of like,

2:08:04 Gorthalax: What the hell is going on out there, Cap?

2:08:06 Fabian: You know, the tattoo took a while to heal.

2:08:09 Gorthalax: Yeah, those guys kept slapping you in the tattoo. They're not supposed to do that.

2:08:14 Fabian: No, and I had to go back and get some parts of it redone. Hey, after the holidays? I'm all in, 110%.

2:08:25 Brennan: Let's roll bard. DC 25 is a D.

2:08:29 Lou: Great. That is- Zac winces.

2:08:32 Emily: Do you want a Bardic?

2:08:35 Lou: That's a 24.

2:08:35 Ally: Goddamn. Oh, I can cast Guidance. If I'm there-

2:08:41 Brennan: I don't think I've allowed spellcasting before. I've allowed Portent rolls and Bardics, but I'm not gonna allow spellcasting.

2:08:47 Lou: Now, explain to me what happens if I take one of these little red tokens.

2:08:50 Brennan: It acts as a stress token.

2:08:50 Lou: Okay.

2:08:53 Brennan: And in addition to that, on a failure, with a rage token, you must make a Wisdom saving throw, the DC of which is the same as the current track check, DC 25 Wisdom.

2:09:07 Lou: Which I will fail.

2:09:08 Emily: Can I take a stress token for him? It's a bard thing.

2:09:14 Brennan: It is a bard thing. I will allow you to take the token, but because it's on his track, it's gonna be a rage token.

2:09:22 Lou: Don't take a rage token for me.

2:09:24 Emily: That would be insane, 'cause then you'd still have four, and I'd go from one to rage.

2:09:29 Lou: Yeah.

2:09:29 Emily: Okay.

2:09:30 Brennan: [to Emily] [smiling] You sure?

2:09:30 Murph: I can take one.

2:09:33 Lou: No! No, The Ball, you're not taking my rage.

2:09:36 Emily: I mean, I'm already cursed, right? So maybe I should just take a rage token.

2:09:39 Lou: So what would it be-

2:09:41 Siobhan: [to Brennan] The glee in your eye right now.

2:09:43 Lou: Is it just the NPC thing, or can I take one of these other things? If I fail it, which I very likely will-

2:09:48 Brennan: On a failure, which you very likely will, a character lashes out, gaining permanent disadvantage on Persuasion checks with an NPC. So that one happens. There's an NPC that you have disadvantage with.

2:09:59 Lou: Got it, and then also-

2:10:00 Brennan: And the one of the following three happens.

2:10:02 Lou: Jesus Christ, Brennan.

2:10:05 Ally: Or you just fail.

2:10:05 Lou: Or I just fail.

2:10:07 Ally: Or you get a D or whatever. Or no, you fail.

2:10:09 Zac: Can you take the Bardic?

2:10:09 Siobhan: Take the Bardic.

2:10:12 Emily: I mean, it's cursed.

2:10:12 Ally: Take the Bardic!

2:10:13 Emily: It's gonna curse us somehow.

2:10:15 Lou: Yeah.

2:10:16 Emily: We don't know how it's gonna curse us.

2:10:17 Siobhan: Yes.

2:10:18 Ally: You'll just kill Clobica. [Lou and Emily laugh]

2:10:21 Lou: Fuck, fuck, fuck!

2:10:24 Siobhan: Getting a rage token is so bad, especially, you don't have that many spells to begin with. You get one d10 of your spells taken away.

2:10:30 Murph: Not all of Fig's Bardics are totally cursed, I don't think.

2:10:32 Emily: Yeah, they've all been cursed.

2:10:33 Ally: Every single damn one of them.

2:10:34 Murph: Every single one's been bad?

2:10:35 Emily: Every single one has had a bad repercussion, but will the repercussion be worse than the rage token? Camera cuts to Brennan looking like a shark.

2:10:44 Lou: We've always killed somebody, right? We killed a god.

2:10:46 Siobhan: No, I just passed out.

2:10:47 Lou: Oh, you just passed out.

2:10:49 Siobhan: I just had an asthma attack and passed out in my room.

2:10:52 Murph: Also, the shrimp wasn't exactly what killed Cassandra. It just didn't help.

2:10:56 Emily: [mock defensively] The shrimp didn't kill Cassandra, okay?

2:11:00 Lou: I think I'm gonna take the Bardic from Fig.

2:11:03 Ally: Yes!

2:11:04 Brennan: Okay.

2:11:04 Ally: Good man.

2:11:05 Lou: Over the rage.

2:11:05 Brennan: Over the rage.

2:11:08 Lou: Over destroying a relationship, 'cause the people in my bardic class are very important to me, and I've already done a lot to jeopardize that.

2:11:16 Brennan: Sure, sure.

2:11:16 Ally: If you roll an eight, you can get a B, I think.

2:11:18 Brennan: Go ahead and roll the Bardic Inspiration.

2:11:20 Emily: It's a d8. Lou kisses the die.

2:11:24 Zac: Don't kiss it. It's bad. Lou rolls. Zac laughs as Ally turns away.

2:11:30 Lou: It's a one.

2:11:31 Brennan: So you get a D in bard class.

2:11:34 Siobhan: That's all you needed.

2:11:34 Lou: That's all I needed.

2:11:35 Brennan: Ds make degrees.

2:11:35 Ally: Ds get degrees!

2:11:37 Brennan: Fabian, roll a Constitution saving throw for me.

2:11:41 Siobhan: Constitution?

2:11:43 Emily: [whispering] Nat 20, please, nat 20.

2:11:46 Lou: I got a 15.

2:11:48 Brennan: What's your spell save DC?

2:11:50 Emily: 18.

2:11:51 Zac: Oh no!

2:11:53 Brennan: Fabian, I'm gonna leave this up to you. (Lou whimpers) (Zac snickering)

2:11:58 Lou: He's punishing me for not taking one of his little tokens.

2:12:01 Emily: I know, I think he's gonna get vindictive about it.

2:12:04 Brennan: There is some point you lose control of an important bodily function. I want you to tell me which one it is, and I want you to tell me who you are with when it happens. (Emily laughing sadistically) (tense music fades)

2:12:22 Lou: I shit myself. I don't wanna shit myself in front of Mazey, so if you'll allow it, I'd just like to shit, but then I'm mid-pirouette, and it just perfectly flies out of my... My leg is at a perfect right angle, and my pants are just loose enough that it goes straight onto the teacher's chest, a full-

2:12:56 Siobhan: That's so much worse than you had to make it.

2:13:00 Murph: [laughing] You could have just shit yourself around like four people.

2:13:02 Siobhan: You could have puked in front of us!

2:13:03 Brennan: I love it. In front of-

2:13:05 Zac: You could have chosen the AV Club.

2:13:08 Brennan: The moment it happens, Terpsichore says,

2:13:11 Terpsichore: I don't want anyone here to laugh. I don't want anyone here to laugh, because what just happened was perfectly natural.

2:13:21 Fabian: I'm so sorry.

2:13:21 Terpsichore: Don't apologize.

2:13:23 Fabian: I've only been eating leftovers.

2:13:24 Terpsichore: What?

2:13:25 Fabian: I've only been eating leftovers 'cause there's just so much of them. Instead of throwing it away, I was like, I'll just keep eating the fried rice.

2:13:35 Brennan: Your stomach gurgles once again.

2:13:37 Fabian: God. (Zac choking)

2:13:40 Fabian: I'm sorry, everyone. I'm still Maximum Legend. This is a brief interruption in our normal programming.

2:13:49 Brennan: You see that one of the students gets up, an unnamed bard student who goes,

2:13:55 Unnamed Bard Student: I quit Aguefort. (players laughing)

2:13:58 Fabian: What? Unnamed Bard Student, please!

2:14:02 Brennan: I think this'll be-

2:14:02 Fabian: Unnamed Bard!

2:14:03 Brennan: This is Quincy. It's Quincy again. You see Quincy goes,

2:14:05 Quincy: This school is bullshit.

2:14:08 Fabian: Are you kidding me, Quincy?

2:14:10 Quincy: And you're not Maximum Legend.

2:14:11 Fabian: What the fuck, Quincy?

2:14:13 Quincy: You know what the L stands for?

2:14:14 Fabian: No.

2:14:14 Quincy: It's not legend. It's Maximum Loser. And you see he takes his lute and breaks it over his knee. I'm never gonna play music again, and I'm never gonna dance again, 'cause what happened here was so nasty.

2:14:30 Fabian: Quincy, no! Quincy, please!

2:14:34 Quincy: This was a temple to lies! You all worship this guy! You all worship him!

2:14:40 Fabian: Quincy!

2:14:41 Quincy: Poop flew out of your pants!

2:14:42 Fabian: Quincy!

2:14:42 Quincy: And it hit the teacher, and she's gonna protect you, 'cause this place is fucked!

2:14:47 Fabian: Quincy, come on!

2:14:47 Quincy: It's freaking fucked, dude!

2:14:49 Fabian: Quincy, remember the good times!

2:14:51 Brennan: You see he headbutts the door, and his head is bleeding, and he goes,

2:14:55 Quincy: I fucking hate this school!

2:14:57 Brennan: And he walks out of the classroom. And that's all for this episode of "Dimension 20".

2:15:05 Ally: Oh my god.

2:15:05 Brennan: Tune in next week as we deal with the aftermath of that outburst and whatever comes next at Loam Farm. See you then. NEXT EPISODE - Episode 11: A Very Merry Moonar Yulenear [Next Time On Dimension 20]

2:15:24 Brennan: You arrive in the elven homeland, and there is snow all over the ground.

2:15:30 Telemaine: Welcome to Kei Lumennura once more... Grapenip.

2:15:34 Gorgug: Was that you trying to say my name?

2:15:36 Telemaine: Nope, I was doing a different word.

2:15:37 Kristen: Grape Nip?

2:15:38 Gorgug: He called me Grape Nips.

2:15:40 Fabian: All right, everyone stop being rude to my grandpapa who paid for you all to come on vacation with us.

2:15:45 Adaine: I think your mum paid for us-

2:15:47 Fabian: Who gives a shit?

2:15:50 Gilear: You're cursed!

2:15:50 Fig: No, no, no!

2:15:52 Gilear: My life doesn't make any sense!

2:15:53 Fig: No, no, no!

2:15:54 Gilear: I found a puppy! It grants wishes! I was elected mayor! It's driving me mad.

2:15:59 Fig: Why?

2:15:59 Gilear: I don't deserve this!

2:16:00 Fig: Yes, you do!

2:16:00 Gilear: No, I don't!

2:16:02 Fig: Gilear, you're the chosen one.

2:16:05 Gilear: I am not the chosen one!

2:16:08 Adaine: Where did you find these cats? Did you just steal them from the street?

2:16:13 Aelwyn: No, I didn't steal them from the street, Adaine. I went to an animal rescue and I asked them to show me the ones that have been there the longest.

2:16:21 Adaine: Oh boy.

2:16:21 Emily: Oh!

2:16:22 Adaine: Are you gonna cry?

2:16:24 Aelwyn: No, I'm-

2:16:24 Emily: I'm going to!

2:16:27 Aelwyn: I'm allergic, because you upset the cats, and when you do that, they all shed so much that they shoot their hair everywhere and it got in my eyes!

2:16:35 Adaine: You've become so sweet and nice.

2:16:38 Aelwyn: Sometimes cats are aggressive and mean-spirited, but that doesn't mean-

2:16:40 Adaine: Sometimes you can't show your care to other human beings, so you've got to show it to cats.

2:16:46 Aelwyn: I have so much love to give, exclusively to cats. Ally cracks up.

2:16:51 Tracker: What I said was totally fucked up. I'm really sorry.

2:16:54 Kristen: No!

2:16:54 Ally: Now I'm saying bro really loud.

2:16:57 Kristen: No, bro! No, seriously, dude! I totally get it, bro.

2:17:03 Tracker: You're a real bro. Thank you.

2:17:05 Kristen: Of course, bro. Seriously, dude, man. It's great to see you.

2:17:10 Ally: I kinda punch her shoulder.

2:17:13 Brennan: She's like,

2:17:13 Tracker: Hey, lay off, motherfucker!

2:17:16 Kristen: I'll kill you!

2:17:18 Ruben: What's that, Kipperlilly? “Kipperlily” (Fig): Ruben, someone needs to take the fall for this, and it's not me. You need to take the fall for this.

2:17:25 Brennan: You see he puts a hand over his mouth, and squeezing out in between his fingers is blood. (tense music crescendos)

2:17:34 Brennan: (howling) You feel a hand grab your arm and pull you out of the way.

2:17:42 Baron: Riz Gukgak!

2:17:42 Ally: No! No! [Riz screaming]

2:17:47 Baron: Whose side are you on, Riz Gukgak? Ha ha ha! We gonna die in here together!

2:17:47 Captions Extracted by: OliverC

2:17:47 Edited by: OliverC, gluegunshots