Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival

0:00:19 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 8: Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] >

0:00:34 Content Warning: Mind Control [Intro Theme]

0:00:49 Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome back to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year". I'm your humble dungeon master, Ally Beardsley. (Ally yells)

0:01:01 Siobhan: He freaking got you, dude.

0:01:01 Brennan: Freaking got you, dude.

0:01:03 Ally: Damn, I got freaking got.

0:01:03 Emily: I was so enraptured here that I didn't even catch you catching them.

0:01:10 Ally: I was so enraptured here.

0:01:10 Brennan: I see it all, okay? I never miss a bit, famously. Never absorbed in what's going on here. Folks, I'm your humble... (babbling intro rapidly) Our Intrepid Heroes! Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:01:23 Players: Hi, Intrepid Heroes!

0:01:23 Siobhan: See you at Basrar's!

0:01:26 Brennan: See you at Basrar's. Short episode.

0:01:28 Emily: Wow, okay.

0:01:30 Brennan: Okay, moving along.

0:01:30 Murph: Short "Adventuring Party".

0:01:32 Brennan: Short "Adventuring Party". Last we left off, our Intrepid Heroes were grinding through the fall semester (instrumental music) at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. We had some high highs, some low lows. We discovered some interesting information, with Lydia Barkrock returning with data about Bakur the demon and a sort of ritual that had occurred tagged onto the end of a mystery that Riz had noted and that had been followed up on by Kristen around the disappearance of Lucy Frostblade, who seemed to have submitted paperwork to change her deity at the end of the last school year and then suddenly withdrew it. Riz also found the last place that she was observed before she went missing, although she has been confirmed by magic to be dead. We also discovered that Kipperlilly Copperkettle was getting food trucks with some little subliminal ads in the wax paper. There was a sort of fraught confrontation between Kristen and the other presidential candidate.

0:02:35 Emily: Was it a confrontation? It was more of a conversation.

0:02:37 Ally: Yeah, I really came out on top, I think.

0:02:39 Brennan: Yes, absolutely. We had some incredibly high academic achievements. Actually, A+'s across the board, save for our party cleric.

0:02:51 Ally: I'll take it!

0:02:51 Siobhan: Hey, if you're failing, a C is an A+.

0:02:54 Ally: A C is really good for Kristen.

0:02:56 Brennan: Also a C in barbarian.

0:02:56 Zac: A bit of a C.

0:03:00 Brennan: But huge achievements in your artificer classes, and we also had huge achievements in warlock classes as Fig actually went on a quick impromptu field trip to Hell with her warlock class.

0:03:14 Emily: They're building a recording studio.

0:03:16 Ally: That sounded so sick, honestly.

0:03:18 Brennan: Honestly, so sick.

0:03:18 Siobhan: So sick.

0:03:19 Lou: And licking Baby?

0:03:19 Brennan: Licking Baby.

0:03:22 Siobhan: Fabian played the bass.

0:03:22 Emily: I don't know how much to put my foot down about that.

0:03:26 Ally: I think that needs to be the only merch that comes out of this season.

0:03:30 Siobhan: Everybody lick Baby.

0:03:30 Ally: Just a shirt that says, "Lick me," and in the back, "Everybody lick Baby."

0:03:35 Siobhan: No context. No picture of Baby.

0:03:38 Brennan: Everybody lick Baby. We also saw a new sort of, like, the coolest kid on campus, Fabian Seacaster, double A+, captain of the Owlbears, running study hall at Seacaster Manor. Never mind the rapidly piling boxes of takeout stinking it up in the kitchen.

0:03:56 Lou: Hey, you know, we clean those out right before everyone comes over. I have to spend the day with them.

0:04:05 Brennan: As well as our Elven Oracle having to fend off ancient high elves in search of arcane wisdom at her job at Basrar's, working as a waitress helping to serve that ice cream. What incredible... It's finally time for Basrar to hire help, given that he has literally no overhead. He generates the ice cream from another dimension.

0:04:24 Emily: Oh.

0:04:24 Brennan: That's been all profit, except for what he pays on the mortgage for the shop itself. Incredible.

0:04:29 Zac: His books are good.

0:04:31 Brennan: His books are good. He's doing well.

0:04:33 Lou: My man's in the black.

0:04:33 Brennan: In the black, okay? We return back to Mordred Manor. And actually, I want to confirm with all of you as we come back here and find you, on the day of the Frostyfaire Folk Festival, a little sort of loose thread of a connection between something that is occurring at Gorgug's house, occurring at the Thistlespring Tree, that you had seen some information that your mom was working on connected to, but got away from you. Junior year, pretty fucking busy, gang. And speaking of how busy it is, we also introduced last episode our system for academic stress here in junior year. Some of our students barely scathed (faint tense music) by the monster that is cortisol as Fig began some paladin classes, both with the paladin teacher Halo St. Croix, and also some tutoring with Porter Cliffbreaker who, due to your incredible attunement with the principles of barbarianism if not any of the actual class features-

0:05:32 Ally: That's true, actually.

0:05:32 Brennan: Porter signed your MCAT when your actual bard teacher flew into the sky, weeping.

0:05:38 Emily: I called him sir.

0:05:39 Ally: Yeah, finally you give him a shred of respect.

0:05:42 Brennan: A shred of respect as he's like, "I have no idea why. What have I ever done?" However, the stress only continued to compile with Adaine and Riz each taking on two stress tokens in the last downtime, and Kristen, Gorgug, and Fabian each taking on three.

0:06:00 Ally: Riz took one on for me.

0:06:00 Siobhan: Two.

0:06:02 Emily: Yeah.

0:06:02 Siobhan: Both of those were for you.

0:06:03 Brennan: Let me be clear. Riz, to his own devices, would be completely unstressed.

0:06:07 Murph: This is all normal.

0:06:08 Brennan: Kristen generated five stress tokens.

0:06:13 Siobhan: For a C. Five stress tokens for a C.

0:06:15 Ally: And four of them were just bam, right in a row.

0:06:17 Brennan: Bam, bam, bam.

0:06:17 Ally: For those clues at the end.

0:06:19 Brennan: For those clues at the end, but great clues you got. I'd like to know just mechanically, for people watching, where that stress actually ended up for everybody.

0:06:27 Ally: Right.

0:06:27 Siobhan: I was gonna game it, but then Emily made me feel bad about it, so-

0:06:31 Emily: No, I didn't! I didn't say anything to you about it!

0:06:34 Siobhan: No, you were like, "I'm gonna take real things," and then I was like, "Well, I can't take disadvantage in-"

0:06:38 Emily: Okay, so it was my existence.

0:06:40 Brennan: It was merely Emily's example, committing to the system.

0:06:44 Siobhan: Yes, Emily did such a good job that I felt like I had to step up my game and take things that actually affected me.

0:06:50 Emily: Well, I took it- 'cause you said if we weren't proficient, I had one, so you said if we weren't proficient, we had to take two, so I wanted to take Insight. In the "Adventuring Party", I said I think I'm in a place where I'm not listening to my gut. All the stress is making me very indecisive. So that was Insight, and then I think also, this paladin curiosity, there's more pressure on it, and it's not coming to me as naturally as normal, so I think Religion is gonna be the other disadvantage.

0:07:18 Brennan: Love it.

0:07:20 Emily: I've never wanted to be good at something before. I've just accidentally been good at it. So that's why. There's stress with it now.

0:07:27 Brennan: It's the intermediate slump where you go from beginner's luck into actually learning technique and having to get good at something.

0:07:33 Emily: 'Cause there's stakes. I need to do this for Kristen.

0:07:35 Brennan: Zac, where's Gorgug's stress going?

0:07:37 Zac: So I have three stress tokens, meaning... I think I'm gonna do one in Initiative rolls.

0:07:44 Emily: Oh.

0:07:44 Zac: 'Cause I'm already... I never roll good on Initiative anyway. I feel like that's fine. And then I'm gonna do the lobster bisque.

0:07:57 Siobhan: You get a salad with that.

0:07:59 Zac: Would you guys have some?

0:07:59 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:08:00 Lou: I'd have a nibble.

0:08:01 Siobhan: Yeah, I'd share a lobster bisque with you any day, Zac.

0:08:04 Zac: Great, great. I'll get some straws. Disadvantage on two skills, so I think I might also do Insight.

0:08:11 Brennan: Hell yeah, hell yeah.

0:08:12 Zac: Go back to Gorgug's roots of just never-

0:08:15 Brennan: Not ever being good.

0:08:15 Emily: Wow.

0:08:16 Lou: Regressing.

0:08:16 Zac: And then disadvantage in Deception.

0:08:19 Brennan: Okay. So Gorgug, you're taking Initiative. Do you have proficiency in either Deception or Insight?

0:08:26 Zac: Oh, it has to be something I have-

0:08:27 Brennan: It's either got to be a skill you're proficient in, or if you're picking skills you're not proficient in, you gotta pick two.

0:08:32 Zac: I'm not proficient in either of those.

0:08:35 Brennan: You've got to take both. That's one.

0:08:36 Zac: Okay, then disadvantage probably on Charisma saving throws.

0:08:42 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:08:42 Emily: Ooh.

0:08:44 Brennan: That lack of initiative, you are a distracted, stressed kid.

0:08:49 Zac: What? Okay.

0:08:49 Brennan: Hell yeah. What? Adaine.

0:08:52 Siobhan: I'm also gonna do Initiative, 'cause I feel like Adaine's just in that, like, (gasps) "Huh? What?" Very much in her own head.

0:08:58 Brennan: Yes.

0:09:01 Siobhan: And then I'm also gonna do two skills that I'm not proficient in. I'm gonna do Intimidation and Persuasion, 'cause I just feel like she's not socially on her game right now.

0:09:12 Brennan: It’s just “If I want to impress people, I'm gonna summon a bunch of mephits. I'm not gonna talk to anybody.”

0:09:16 Siobhan: I just can't talk to anybody right now.

0:09:18 Brennan: Perfect. Fabian?

0:09:20 Lou: I'm gonna take disadvantage on all my tool proficiencies. There's just a bunch of half done calligraphy and glassblowing.

0:09:24 Brennan: Your glassblowing!

0:09:28 Lou: My shop is a fucking mess right now. I need to clean out the kiln. Just haven't gotten around to it.

0:09:36 Siobhan: This guy has so many unfinished hobbies.

0:09:39 Lou: Several rooms in my house just haven't been touched. So I'll take disadvantage on those. I'll take disadvantage in History and Investigation, and then I will take disadvantage in Perception.

0:09:52 Brennan: Ooh, one of your actual proficiencies.

0:09:54 Lou: Yes.

0:09:54 Brennan: Incredible. Kristen?

0:09:58 Ally: Disadvantage on Initiative. Disadvantage on Wisdom saving throws. Disadvantage on Medicine.

0:10:06 Brennan: Hell yeah. Boom, meaty choices.

0:10:09 Ally: She's not helpful for the party at all. She has no magic, disadvantage on Medicine.

0:10:14 Lou: And you can't cast spells.

0:10:14 Ally: Why even have a cleric?

0:10:17 Zac: Damn.

0:10:17 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:10:19 Ally: 'Cause you're the coolest girl in school!

0:10:20 Ally: Right? Right?

0:10:20 Emily: That's true! Who needs a cleric when you have a president?

0:10:24 Lou: Exactly.

0:10:24 Ally: You're right!

0:10:26 Lou: Your class is "President."

0:10:29 Brennan: We're just gonna go to SW5E and steal the scholar class again and just make you a politician.

0:10:33 Ally: Please, please!

0:10:33 Brennan: Please, please. And Riz?

0:10:36 Murph: I took disadvantage in four skills. I took disadvantage in Perception, because I feel like Riz is still good at Investigation and everything, but he's really in his head, so he's probably not noticing things around him. Survival, not taking good care of himself. Athletics, he was already not athletic, but he's even less so, and then Deception, 'cause I don't think he could pull off lying right now while he's so high strung.

0:10:57 Brennan: So you've picked four of your non-proficient skills that are all disadvantage now.

0:11:00 Murph: Yes.

0:11:02 Brennan: Meaty, meaty choices across the board. Well, gang, at Mordred Manor, you see a pile of arcane tomes and other things that were saved by Lydia's old adventuring party, and the first thing that sort of occurs to you is that they are written in Giant, as Lydia says,

0:11:20 Lydia: Well, this is everything they had. You know, I can try to help you... I wasn't necessarily the most on the ball with this stuff during the adventure, but I remember a lot of conversations about it. So, you know, if there's anything I can do to help.

0:11:38 Siobhan: I can cast Comprehend Languages as a ritual, and as long as I'm touching the text, I can read it.

0:11:45 Brennan: Amazing. Adaine, you guys can grab this stuff. You can probably move it up to your little wizard's tower at Mordred and start putting the stuff out. You have your ritual circle all set up there.

0:11:54 Ally: Before we leave Lydia, can I ask her if she's heard of Ruvina, the god that Lucy was following?

0:12:04 Lydia: Ruvina. Yeah. Yeah, that name did come up in the adventure at some... It wasn't like a big... I'm sorry, this is the kind of... This is why I wish I was more on the ball with this stuff.

0:12:25 Kristen: No, it was a long time ago. They're just a god from the Mountains of Chaos, and-

0:12:30 Lydia: That's what I think it was. That name came up, not as a point of focus, but it's from the same region that Bakur's deity, I think-

0:12:42 Riz: Is from.

0:12:42 Lydia: From, yeah.

0:12:44 Kristen: Okay, well... Yeah. Let's take a look.

0:12:46 Riz: Okay, so rival gods, maybe?

0:12:49 Fig: Mountains of Chaos.

0:12:49 Riz: Mountains of Chaos. Okay. Thank you, Lydia.

0:12:54 Brennan: You can spend a little while to cast it ritually. It will take you a chunk of time. It's the middle of the day. You've got Frostyfaire later tonight.

0:13:02 Siobhan: Yeah, it's a minute per page. Can I grab Riz and go up and turn around my calendar that I have on my wall, and it's just a blank corkboard?

0:13:14 Murph: Great.

0:13:14 Siobhan: Hell yeah.

0:13:15 Ally: I'll go up there too and just give you both as many Help actions as I can.

0:13:19 Brennan: Hell yeah, I think the whole gang can tromp on upstairs and jump to it. This feels like the biggest payoff of not being sure that Lydia was even gonna be able to get this stuff. Go ahead, and I'm gonna say there's so many materials here, Adaine with that Comprehend Languages, go ahead and roll either Arcana, History, or Investigation with advantage, and then because Adaine has to translate for everybody, you guys will use Help actions to offset the disadvantage because you guys can't read the text yourself. So if there's any other checks you wanna roll that are Religion, Investigation, whatever, go ahead and roll them straight.

0:14:01 Murph: I'll roll Investigation.

0:14:01 Brennan: Cool.

0:14:03 Siobhan: So I'm rolling with advantage?

0:14:04 Brennan: You're rolling with advantage.

0:14:05 Siobhan: Okay, great.

0:14:05 Zac: I assume I'm not there? Is it the morning?

0:14:09 Brennan: It's morning, but you might have come by. If they texted you, you could have swung by.

0:14:12 Ally: Yeah, I think we would've.

0:14:12 Brennan: Yeah.

0:14:13 Ally: Unless you need to help your parents set up, but I'd imagine they already did everything.

0:14:18 Brennan: And actually, let me know what your rolls are real quick.

0:14:21 Siobhan: I got a 17 History.

0:14:24 Emily: Do you want a Bardic?

0:14:25 Siobhan: I would love a Bardic.

0:14:27 Murph: 21 Investigate.

0:14:28 Ally: If I have advantage in History or Religion, it's still straight, 'cause we would have disadvantage?

0:14:34 Brennan: Yes, with a Bardic-

0:14:36 Siobhan: With a Bardic from Fig, I got a dirty 20.

0:14:39 Brennan: Dirty 20 on your History.

0:14:39 Siobhan: On my History, yeah.

0:14:41 Brennan: Okay.

0:14:41 Murph: And I got a 21 Investigate.

0:14:42 Brennan: 21 Investigate, awesome. Kristen, what are you looking at?

0:14:45 Ally: 11.

0:14:46 Brennan: 11 for Religion. Okay, copy that. So you guys are taking time to pore over the books. Maybe someone shoots Gorgug a text. Adaine, as you begin to read with some of that help from Fig, you feel your stomach gurgle.

0:14:57 Siobhan: Oh no. (gurgling sound)

0:15:04 Brennan: You feel your stomach gurgle-

0:15:06 Fig: Adaine, can I help you?

0:15:07 Brennan: Can you go ahead and roll a d100 for me?

0:15:12 Adaine: Is anybody feeling weird after that breakfast?

0:15:15 Kristen: Hm, no, I thought that was good. (stressful music)

0:15:16 Fig: Yeah, I think I'm feeling fine.

0:15:18 Siobhan: I got a 91.

0:15:20 Brennan: 91, okay. As you go to study, you are looking at the book, and as you lean in a little bit closer, there's something moving on the page, in the binding, in the shadow of where the pages sort of fold into each other. And it looks almost like it could be text or writing. (Adaine blows on the book) As you blow into it, you blow thousands of dust mites into your eyes. (Siobhan coughing) You stumble back, slam your head into the bunk bed, and one of the railings comes loose, hits you in the head, and knocks you unconscious.

0:15:58 Murph: Holy shit!

0:15:58 Ally: I'll do a Medicine check!

0:16:00 Murph: Quick, Kristen, do a Medicine check!

0:16:02 Brennan: Go ahead and roll with disadvantage. Let me know if any of the dice come up under an eight.

0:16:07 Ally: No, no, we're good.

0:16:07 Brennan: Okay, cool.

0:16:09 Ally: 12.

0:16:09 Lou: Jesus.

0:16:10 Brennan: You go stabilize Adaine.

0:16:12 Ally: 21.

0:16:13 Brennan: 21. As you do so, all of you hear Kristen's stomach growl and gurgle as well. (gurgling sounds; magical chimes)

0:16:23 Emily: Is it contagious?

0:16:25 Brennan: And Kristen, you get a sudden flash of red. You are back in the wizard's food court for a second. You see glass and red light. (fast-paced music) You hear a scream of a familiar voice and sudden silence. (music stops suddenly) And then you look into Adaine's open eyes as you are reviving her, and you see a reflection in her eyes of blood splattered on the ground somewhere.

0:16:58 Ally: Is the voice Cassandra?

0:16:58 Brennan: It is not Cassadra's, but you cannot delve deeper into that. It's a voice you recognize, but you can't get more information about it.

0:17:08 Fig: Okay, Cassandra had someone coming after her. Did it seem like that? 'Cause I've been thinking about the fact that she's doubt would completely destabilize the entire pantheon, right? If gods get their power from faith, and she's doubt, she might have had a mark on her externally-

0:17:25 Kristen: Interesting.

0:17:25 Fig: ...from your ministrations.

0:17:29 Kristen: Yeah.

0:17:30 Adaine: Yeah, maybe it's not your fault at all. Maybe it's completely nothing to do with you.

0:17:35 Kristen: I think I... Yeah, I definitely killed her, but I do wonder- (players snickering) Okay, okay. Wait, wait, 'cause this kinda feels like thematically what everything is fucking feeling like at school. Aguefort represented nuance and weirdness and he's gone, and now it's extremely strict and by the book.

0:17:56 Fig: Yeah, without doubt, you just have rigid faith, which shatters and has no flexibility.

0:18:02 Riz: Is it possible that things are being changed right now by Aguefort being back in time?

0:18:08 Kristen: Oh my gosh, yeah.

0:18:09 Adaine: That he's changing things in the past that are affecting things in the present?

0:18:13 Kristen: He's microwaving a burrito and it's ruining everything.

0:18:17 Riz: Also, can we talk for a second about how insane that was?

0:18:18 Fabian: Yes, wait. I wanted to let you guys get your thoughts out. What the fuck just happened?

0:18:21 Riz: Dust mites, and then you just got knocked out?

0:18:24 Adaine: I'm assuming this has just been in a box for, like-

0:18:26 Riz: Fig was just helping you read a book.

0:18:28 Fabian: Did everyone else get shrimp vibes from that?

0:18:31 Kristen: That was shrimp vibes.

0:18:33 Fabian: A nasty chain reaction?

0:18:33 Fig: Yeah! It's me, okay? Look, my Bardics are cursed, I think. I think I'm cursed.

0:18:40 Siobhan: Can I do an Arcana check on Fig?

0:18:42 Brennan: Do an Arcana check right now.

0:18:43 Emily: I lay down like a patient on a table. (dice rolling)

0:18:46 Lou: Yes, I'm also going to do an Arcana check.

0:18:46 Siobhan: 24. I got a 24.

0:18:48 Murph: Yeah, I'll Investigate Fig.

0:18:50 Emily: Everyone Arcana check me!

0:18:50 Murph: 21.

0:18:51 Siobhan: How yogurt-y is she smelling right now?

0:18:53 Brennan: As you guys put these texts and tomes to the side and begin to Investigate Fig-

0:18:56 Murph: I know what I could do. The Gregorian Necktie can do Detect Evil and Good.

0:19:03 Ally: Oh.

0:19:03 Emily: Oh, well.

0:19:05 Murph: Outside of just the-

0:19:05 Brennan: As you do the necktie, it beeps, and a fiendish aura surrounds Fig, not her own innate one.

0:19:15 Riz: Okay. Yeah, no, you're cursed for sure.

0:19:17 Fig: Yeah, I think whoever-

0:19:17 Fabian: Totally cursed.

0:19:20 Fig: I put Wretchrot on it. I'm trying to find out-

0:19:23 Riz: Oh, good.

0:19:23 Fig: Yeah, yeah. I deputized Wretchrot.

0:19:24 Adaine: Reliable.

0:19:27 Fig: I'm trying to find out, I think it's whoever owned the pride armor.

0:19:32 Murph: We don't know who that is.

0:19:33 Fig: I'm paying, maybe, a debt that Gilear owes.

0:19:38 Ally: Yogurt!

0:19:40 Emily: Yes?

0:19:40 Siobhan: I was thinking it's 'cause he was a straight man wearing pride armor.

0:19:44 Ally: Yogurt! Yeah, the pride armor was rainbow.

0:19:49 Siobhan: I'm an ally! The A stands for ally!

0:19:51 Brennan: We move across town to Little Branch and the Thistlespring Tree.

0:19:53 Siobhan: Oh, cute!

0:19:56 Ally: Wait, speaking of.

0:19:57 Siobhan: Yeah, speaking of. Is that the Cubby's house?

0:20:00 Ally: Oh yeah, absolutely.

0:20:00 Siobhan: Hobbit hole?

0:20:03 Brennan: Yes, the little anarchy sign.

0:20:04 Siobhan: It's got to be, right?

0:20:04 Brennan: That's the Cubbys. Yes, absolutely. You can see some of the junk from the tinkerers. We're in the Thistlespring yard here.

0:20:11 Siobhan: Cute.

0:20:11 Brennan: You wake up. There's tons of people out in the yard as you wake up this morning, Gorgug. You see there's a giant stage getting set up. There are so many animals everywhere. There's skunks and bears and deer, 'cause druids and rangers are the main people that are coming to the Frostyfaire Folk Festival. You see there's a bunch of people that already have little drum circles with fiddles and guitars and people just sort of like ♪ Lai-dee-dai, lai-dee-dai, lai-dee-dai, lai-dee-dai ♪

0:20:40 Zac: Gorgug's just looking out his window like, guess it's that all day, huh?

0:20:45 Brennan: Wilma and Digby are downstairs. They're powering through breakfast. They've got clipboards. There's some people with surveillance. They're like, Wilma/Digby: All right, this is gonna be great! This is such an honor, to be able to host. Gorgug! Morning, bud! How you doing?

0:20:57 Gorgug: Hey, I'm doing good. I'm, like...

0:21:01 Zac: This is just maybe a question for Brennan, but have we had this festival here before?

0:21:05 Brennan: No, your parents go this every year.

0:21:08 Zac: Yeah.

0:21:09 Brennan: But hosting it's a huge deal. The festival actually kind of moves all over Solace. They've sometimes gone up to Ashgrove or the Dunefort or other places to try to participate in this, but yeah, Frostyfaire bounces all over the country.

0:21:21 Gorgug: So Mom and Dad, I feel, you know... I'm here to help with whatever this is, you know? Wilma/Digby: Absolutely, absolutely. Well, you know, we tried to throw some tarps over the projects that are kinda halfway done. We're getting some blankets. I mean, people are gonna bring their own blankets. We're getting some blankets out on the hillside, facing the stage. The stage is right out the back door, at the bottom of the hill. It's gonna be great. We got all these great- and kind of an interesting, we have... Have you ever heard of emotional music?

0:21:59 Gorgug: Emotional? Are you talking about emo music? Wilma/Digby: Yeah!

0:22:03 Gorgug: Yeah. It's pretty cool. Actually a type of music I think is cool. Wilma/Digby: Oh, well, great! We love it.

0:22:13 Emily: (offended) You're out of the band.

0:22:17 Gorgug: I mean, it's okay! Wilma/Digby: There's a band coming that your... I mean, I know that Fig is not touring right now, but Lola Embers got in touch with us, your old, you know, she represented you by way of representing Fig.

0:22:32 Gorgug: I was really just kinda hanging on. It felt like I was sailing behind the boat. Wilma/Digby: Hey, you're a great drummer! This is our rock star sports team kiddo.

0:22:39 Gorgug: I'm okay. Wilma/Digby: With the straight As!

0:22:45 Gorgug: Mostly. Wilma/Digby: Well, you know, but that's the thing, you know? Well, hey!

0:22:49 Brennan: And you actually hear a knock on the door and you see that your biological parents walk in, Roz and Gorbag. Gorbag is like,

0:22:55 Gorbag: Hey, Gorgug!

0:22:55 Brennan: Gives a big hug. Roz says hi to Wilma.

0:23:00 Roz: Hi, hi! Coming in to say hello!

0:23:03 Brennan: And they're sort of excited to be here as well, 'cause you remember Gorbag was a musician.

0:23:12 Gorgug: Are you guys playing today?

0:23:13 Gorbag: Yeah! Well, I'm just jamming. I just like to come. There's a drum circle that's been going for 40 years, since the start of Frostyfaire.

0:23:21 Gorgug: That's too long.

0:23:22 Gorbag: What happens is, the festival's only once a year, but every year, the last guy or gal or person who's drumming at the drum circle, they take a small little drum and they keep it going all year long, kinda like the Olympic torch.

0:23:35 Ally: Finger drumming!

0:23:35 Gorbag: Finger drum. So the drum circle hasn't stopped in 40 years.

0:23:39 Gorgug: What would happen if it stopped?

0:23:43 Brennan: He starts to cry.

0:23:43 Gorgug: No, hey! Hey, it's okay!

0:23:48 Gorbag: Music is a part of a tradition. It's something that unites all of us.

0:23:52 Brennan: You see Digby puts a little arm around his calf, he's so tall. Digby goes,

0:23:57 Digby: Yeah, don't even worry about a C. That's, you know...

0:24:01 Brennan: You see that Gorbag says,

0:24:01 Gorbag: A C? I thought it was...

0:24:03 Brennan: And he looks at it and says,

0:24:03 Gorbag: Porter give you a C?

0:24:07 Gorgug: Yeah.

0:24:08 Gorbag: He almost fuckin' failed me, man.

0:24:09 Gorgug: Really?

0:24:09 Gorbag: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:24:12 Gorgug: I don't think we're speaking the same language, to be honest. I don't know.

0:24:17 Brennan: You see Wilma looks and says,

0:24:19 Wilma: Have you tried making him a little cup of tea and sitting down and saying, hey, you know, I feel like I'm letting you down and I wanna know how to do a better job so that I can put a smile on that face?

0:24:36 Gorgug: Not exactly that. I've tried maybe something kinda similar. I think I have to go a completely different direction, honestly.

0:24:45 Wilma: Baked good.

0:24:46 Gorgug: It's not so completely... Yeah, I'll try baked goods. I'll try that, I'll try that.

0:24:51 Wilma: All right.

0:24:51 Brennan: You see Gorbag says,

0:24:51 Gorbag: Well, listen. I know you're Mr. Study right now, you're taking four classes at once, but if you got a second, I think me and Dig, me and Wilma and Dig and Roz might be down to that drum circle. Maybe you grab some bongos or, you know, get something from the kit. Get a little snare. All drums welcome.

0:25:12 Gorgug: Okay, yeah, I'll give it a shot. I can bring my snare, just head on down.

0:25:18 Gorbag: Yeah. (both mimicking snare drums)

0:25:21 Brennan: Everyone just starts tapping around, and Wilma goes,

0:25:23 Wilma: There's music everywhere!

0:25:28 Gorgug: Specifically in that drum circle.

0:25:30 Brennan: You start getting texts from friends that there's stuff happening over at Mordred.

0:25:34 Gorgug: Adaine threw up?

0:25:34 Brennan: What the hell? As you're heading out, by the way, Wilma says,

0:25:39 Wilma: Gorgug, would you mind? There's some stuff under the tarps that we'd love to move into the basement.

0:25:44 Brennan: You see Digby goes,

0:25:46 Digby: Wilma, we'll move that stuff. That's okay.

0:25:48 Brennan: You see he says,

0:25:48 Digby: We just, you know, just to let you know, bud, you know, you were gone for a couple months, and we had some friends over while you were gone.

0:26:05 Emily: Swingers.

0:26:05 Digby: For a while, over the summer. And we were working on some projects, and we had some gear.

0:26:12 Emily: Swingers.

0:26:12 Digby: And we had some gear around the tree.

0:26:15 Emily: Sex swing.

0:26:18 Digby: But we're gonna have a lot of guests and strangers and people around, so we're just gonna throw all that in the cellar. I just want you to know that you're okay to invite- we're not gonna embarrass you, we're not gonna, you know, put you in a weird... But just, there's some gizmos and gadgeroos that gotta get put in the ol' basement-eroonie.

0:26:39 Gorgug: But you guys got that, right?

0:26:40 Digby: Yeah, we're gonna take-

0:26:40 Gorgug: I don't have to go... I don't have to help with that, right?

0:26:46 Brennan: You see Wilma says,

0:26:46 Wilma: And I shouldn't have asked."

0:26:48 Gorgug: Are they here?

0:26:48 Wilma: I'm just stressed.

0:26:51 Gorgug: Are those friends gonna be at this festival?

0:26:56 Wilma: There's gonna... I wanna say-

0:26:58 Gorgug: What the fuck are we doing?

0:26:58 Wilma: No! No, no!

0:27:01 Brennan: You see he goes,

0:27:01 Digby: Whoa, whoa!

0:27:01 Gorgug: Sorry, I just-

0:27:03 Brennan: You see Gorbag says,

0:27:03 Gorbag: Gorgug, it's not a weird- look-

0:27:08 Zac: Gorgug's eyes are darting between my biological parents and-

0:27:10 Brennan: Biological parents and your... You see Gorbag goes,

0:27:17 Gorbag: Look, all the stuff they're talking about, that's not what the festival is about. Look, the festival celebrates bodies, you know? There's a nudity tent, but that's not sexual. That's just about admiring each other.

0:27:30 Gorgug: So I'm just, like, having to study a lot lately. And I'm not sure that I'm equipped for this conversation right now. Wilma/Digby: Listen, bud, you don't have to go in the nudity tent.

0:27:41 Gorgug: I know! I know I don't! Wilma/Digby: Okay, but again, it's non-sexual. It's just about a place to be free-

0:27:47 Gorgug: There's just a tent where people are nude. Just sitting in a hot tent together. Wilma/Digby: Well, the music's playing and it's just a place to... You know, we live in a pretty stifling society, in a lot of ways, and there's nothing-

0:28:00 Gorgug: And they feel free in a big tent. Wilma/Digby: Yeah, because we wanna be cognizant of people's boundaries.

0:28:05 Gorgug: Okay. Wilma/Digby: But, you know, clothing... I didn't sign a contract when I was born saying I'd wear clothes forever. There's nothing wrong with a body. What does any one of us have that no one's ever seen before?

0:28:17 Gorgug: That's true. I guess I just didn't really think that much about what this festival was. Wilma/Digby: It's great. Music's great.

0:28:26 Gorgug: I guess my friends are coming, too.

0:28:29 Brennan: As they sort of talk about all that, you get ready to head out. Give me a Tinkers' Tools check on your way out. (Zac blows on his dice)

0:28:36 Lou: There it is.

0:28:38 Ally: Get the bad ones out.

0:28:38 Lou: Get the bad ones out.

0:28:40 Emily: Oh, that was close to a 20.

0:28:40 Zac: 21.

0:28:42 Emily: This dice has been performing.

0:28:44 Brennan: I think as you're walking out, thinking about that different approach, you're looking at all the junk tied up under different tarps and stuff in the yard. I think you just come to a moment of looking at some of the machinery and thinking about Henry, your artificer teacher, talking about how he's never seen anyone work at a problem before as hard as you are working and not solve it. And I think you're thinking about the disparity between rage and concentration and just looking at some machinery on your way out, and there's some little glimmer of an edge of inspiration in your mind, almost something you could catch onto, after this first semester of how well everything's been working. And you see circuitry carrying electricity through the tree. And just for a moment, see that current like a pulse, and think about your own pulse as you're raging. There's a moment where you see some kind of synchronicity there, and then it goes away and the day continues.

0:29:54 Zac: Just writes down a little note to himself and crumples it up with rage, but then straightens it out and puts it in his pocket.

0:30:02 Brennan: Hell yeah. You arrive back at Mordred, and we can come back to this discussion here, post-Adaine coming back from the brink in this weird moment with Kristen here. Let's resolve these checks here. We had a History and an Investigate, which were at a 20 and a 21. Is there anything in these books you're looking for with a bent or focus to your History check?

0:30:21 Siobhan: I'm looking to see if there's any connection to Lucy, and any connection to Cassandra.

0:30:31 Brennan: On a 20 History, you see that there is a record in one of these ancient tomes of Ruvina having given a wedding gift to Cassandra.

0:30:49 Siobhan: Cassandra was married? Is married? What was the gift?

0:30:55 Brennan: It was a Bridle of Frost, that she might command a team of fiery horses.

0:31:04 Emily: Hmm, 'cause she's twilight, dusk.

0:31:07 Brennan: But again, there's a weird thing in Spyre that sort of has to do with having all these different gods running around where the pantheon of gods all sorta exist side by side all at once, all at the same time, so there's a big cosmic soup of all these divinities running around. And in the text, you see that Cassandra and Galicaea were traveling together. The sisters, moon and night, are sisters traveling side by side. They're obviously elven deities, or started that way, even though Cassandra had a lot more... Cassandra was almost more of the fey, and then Galicaea was more of the elves, right? But there's a thing where them and Sol, which is Helio's father, the god of the sun- because Helio's actually the god of corn specifically, although he has sun domain stuff in there as well. Sol and Galicaea and Cassandra all traveled to the great mountains, and Ruvina gave a wedding gift to Cassandra.

0:32:10 Ally: Was Cassandra marrying Sol?

0:32:12 Emily: That would be crazy.

0:32:12 Siobhan: Or Galicaea.

0:32:14 Ally: That would be so crazy.

0:32:15 Emily: Well, they're sisters.

0:32:17 Murph: Or was Cassandra marrying a giant?

0:32:17 Siobhan: The gods marry-

0:32:20 Ally: Oh.

0:32:21 Brennan: So that's the only thing you find. You find this in one of the tomes that is made up of a collection of scraps and palimpsests and other various things that are like... You don't have the original scroll this is a part of. This is a salvaged bit of a longer, probably- it's written in the style of a saga. It's rhyming couplets. There's kennings in it and stuff like that.

0:32:42 Siobhan: Are there any other notes alongside it from Lydia's former teammates?

0:32:50 Brennan: You feel that this may have been compiled by one of Lydia's teammates, that this book was scraps they found. This one falls outside of the margins. There's way more stuff written about other things. This is definitely included, which means that it's significant, but it didn't crack the case for them.

0:33:13 Siobhan: Got it.

0:33:14 Fig: Kristen, this brings me back to... I mean, think about it. Doubt, Cassandra, brought you away from Helio, and you were supposed to be his chosen.

0:33:25 Kristen: Whoa.

0:33:26 Fig: Literally, doubt weakened him.

0:33:28 Adaine: Who's Helio's mother? Do you know that?

0:33:33 Ally: I think I would.

0:33:33 Brennan: Yeah, you would know. In the mythology of it, Helio's mother was a mortal.

0:33:39 Adaine: Oh, interesting.

0:33:41 Riz: So the only reason that I can think that Cassandra would be being married in these mountains, it would most likely be to a giant, maybe.

0:33:52 Fig: Yeah, I think so.

0:33:53 Adaine: Or one of the gods of the giants, like Ruvina.

0:33:55 Riz: Right.

0:33:57 Adaine: Somebody that's related to her.

0:33:58 Riz: Right.

0:33:58 Fig: Yeah.

0:33:59 Brennan: You had a 21 Investigate.

0:33:59 Murph: Yeah.

0:34:00 Brennan: What was Riz looking for in these books? And I think Gorgug, you arrive as this conversation is happening.

0:34:06 Murph: I think I would be-

0:34:06 Fabian: Hey, Gorgug.

0:34:07 Gorgug: Hey.

0:34:07 Fig: Hey.

0:34:10 Gorgug: I don't wanna talk about it.

0:34:12 Fabian: Uh, okay.

0:34:12 Fig: Okay.

0:34:14 Gorgug: How's it going, Riz?

0:34:15 Murph: I think I'm looking to find out more about this god that died and that we can't say the name of. I guess I'm looking if Ruvina had any close allies, or more importantly, maybe enemies. Or if there was this wedding, if somebody wasn't there, if somebody was spurned or something.

0:34:38 Brennan: Yeah. On that Investigation, I think you are going to find some stuff. I'm gonna say that that Investigation's going to translate into a Religion check with advantage. Only you can make it, 'cause it's as a result of you investigating this stuff clearly.

0:34:54 Emily: Do you want a Bardic?

0:34:56 Lou: I can...

0:34:58 Fabian: Hey, The Ball? Let me help.

0:34:58 Riz: Okay, yeah.

0:35:00 Gorgug: Can I have a Bardic?

0:35:00 Murph: It's just the dust mites.

0:35:02 Fig: Do you want some help?

0:35:03 Riz: I'm a little worried about the dust mites!

0:35:05 Fig: Here! I start to play.

0:35:05 Riz: Oh no! It's okay!

0:35:07 Fig: If you see me wink, you get a Bardic.

0:35:09 Riz: Okay, okay.

0:35:11 Lou: Can my Bardic just be that I run screen?

0:35:14 Fabian: No, no, look at me. No!

0:35:16 Fig: Don't you want it? Don't you want it?

0:35:17 Murph: Okay, right off the bat, dirty 20. Should I throw this on there and try to-

0:35:22 Emily: Yeah, why not?

0:35:22 Lou: Come on, baby. Let's cook.

0:35:24 Murph: 26.

0:35:24 Lou: We stay eatin'!

0:35:27 Brennan: Hell yes.

0:35:27 Zac: A feast.

0:35:30 Murph: So afraid of dust mites. Are there...

0:35:33 Brennan: So I think you're going through Rana's stuff, which is all the actual, the poetic... She was the cleric of the group, right? And you're going through Cormyr's stuff. Cormyr was a sorcerer, but you actually see, for someone that was innately magical, Cormyr had very meticulous notes, beautiful script, and has something written out which is a long... You can tell it's a copying of another text. As you arrive at it, it's basically, he wrote a glossary literally for the possibility that they would all die on this mission, and another group of adventurers would find this stuff and could pick up where they left off.

0:36:12 Fig: We should remember to do that in the future.

0:36:14 Adaine: Put it on the board. Put it on the board!

0:36:18 Gorgug: A for Adaine.

0:36:20 Brennan: You find-

0:36:20 Adaine: That's my name! What?

0:36:22 Fig: I think it's the information, not us.

0:36:24 Gorgug: Oh, well, how holistic is it?

0:36:27 Adaine: Catch up. Stop thinking about-

0:36:28 Riz: I texted you this stuff, man!

0:36:32 Gorgug: Got it.

0:36:32 Brennan: What you see is, there is the beginning of a text that is written- and I think that... Adaine, go ahead and give me one more- actually, an Arcana, 'cause you rolled History. Give me an Arcana real quick.

0:36:43 Siobhan: I did roll History. 23.

0:36:47 Lou: Sexy.

0:36:48 Brennan: You are able to point out- you know that what you're looking at is not a spell. But Adaine, you're familiar that there's lots of kinds of magical writing that are not spells. There's ways of annotating things that are magical laws or precepts, and what you are seeing here is a dually arcane and religious axiom of magical law of Spyre. And what you see is it says, "Obliviati Mori."

0:37:17 Emily: Remember you will die? Or forget you will die.

0:37:19 Brennan: Clerics call it Obliviati Mori, but you see that as an arcane rule, it is called the Law of Theothanatic Silence.

0:37:28 Siobhan: So that's when a god dies, you forget their name.

0:37:32 Brennan: Yes. But you see that he's writing down all the mortal stuff you already know. When a god dies, you forget their name. When a god dies, they're scrubbed from existence. When a god dies, da da da da da. But you guys also know that for all that being said, Yes! is dead because nobody believes in it, but people remember Yes!, right?

0:37:53 Siobhan: Oh, we all remember Yes!.

0:37:53 Brennan: You all remember Yes!.

0:37:55 Zac: I'll never forget that thing.

0:37:56 Siobhan: They had a cogent philosophy that we comprehended deeply.

0:37:59 Ally: Maybe we should forget, though.

0:38:00 Emily: Just to be clear, when I was talking about becoming a paladin, it was for Yes!.

0:38:04 Ally: Wait, what? No, no!

0:38:05 Siobhan: Wait, for Yes! or for Yes??

0:38:08 Zac: I'll never forget that thing sliding out of-

0:38:10 Ally: Yeah, sliding out of that hole.

0:38:11 Siobhan: Just so wet.

0:38:11 Murph: That thing getting pooped out of space.

0:38:14 Brennan: Basically, there is an intense series of rules and restrictions, but you see this rule doesn't apply to mortals. It applies to the gods.

0:38:22 Siobhan: So the gods also forget the name.

0:38:24 Brennan: They do not.

0:38:25 Siobhan: Oh! That's why we remember Yes!, 'cause we're all gods!

0:38:28 Brennan: You're all gods! Obliviati Mori is a precept that binds deities to not evangelize or even speak of fallen deities to mortals. In other words, it's written out as a precept that basically, if a god succumbs to some form of death, they become archfey, they become a demon or a celestial rather than a full deity, if they only have a few dozen followers and another god kills them and they don't have the strength to withstand that, or if literally, in the most extreme cases, their name is fully forgotten, other deities are not allowed to effectively remind mortals of their existence.

0:39:15 Siobhan: So does that mean that the person who wrote the note that is supposed to be from Lucy was actually a god?

0:39:23 Brennan: It makes it very unclear who could have written that. Because you're in this weird position where you guys can all write Yes!, you can write Cassandra. This god is one whose name has actually been forgotten or scrubbed by every single mortal. But that would mean that if someone was able to write it, they would know it, but they would have to have a way of writing it without breaking Obliviati Mori. There's two pieces of information you guys can glean from that right away, the first of which is that belief and worship and the weird, tenuous alliances between gods where some of them are from the same region but have conflicting domains, and some gods have the same domain as other gods but are still ascendent in different areas or for different kinds of cultures or anything like that, all the gods have this agreement that is basically like, for lack of a better word, we're all playing the game, and if your fucking buddy or your pal or someone you love loses fair and square, you're not allowed to go to your mortal worshipers and say, "Hey, can we peel off a few followers to my buddy who's having a hard time right now?" It's basically like a law of, you are not allowed to root for each other. You are not allowed to pull for each other. You're not allowed to put a thumb on the scale in that way. If your flocks choose to have you work together, you can work together, but when a god dies, that's it. You're not allowed to cheat by reminding mortals that there was this other deity.

0:40:51 Siobhan: But if we went and asked another deity about this god, would they then be able to tell us? Or would we have to specifically say their name?

0:40:59 Brennan: According to Obliviati Mori, they would not be able to tell you. But the law is a law, which immediately to you, Adaine, would tell you, well, any rule has ways of working around it.

0:41:12 Siobhan: So it's a law, but laws can be broken.

0:41:17 Brennan: Yeah. And there might be enormous arcane penalties for so doing, but effectively, you know that there are dead gods. There are rules concerning how the other gods can refer to those dead gods to mortals, if they are even allowed to. And to a certain degree... But again, the second, biggest thing is, of course, this wouldn't be a thing unless gods could always remember dead gods.

0:41:42 Zac: So do we have a sense of, when Lydia and her crew were on this mission, they never knew the name of this god, right? Or did they at one point know it?

0:41:54 Brennan: Lydia can confirm for you, she's like,

0:41:55 Lydia: We never knew the name of the god. We knew Bakur, the fiend, but-

0:41:59 Fig: Even though gods can't say the name, the name could still exist out there in texts.

0:42:04 Lydia: Exactly, which is why a lot of, you know, if a god is trying to be crushed or scoured, you try to break their idols, erase their texts, burn the holy texts, all that kind of thing. But theoretically, if we had found the name written somewhere on text, that would have done it.

0:42:20 Fabian: Then it makes sense why Cassandra said that thing about being like, I thought you were dead.

0:42:26 Fig: I thought you were dead.

0:42:26 Fabian: Mm.

0:42:28 Riz: So if you had to get around it, maybe a way to do it would be to possess someone or something. Is it possible that Lucy...

0:42:35 Adaine: Was possessed?

0:42:35 Riz: ...was possessed?

0:42:38 Fig: All the Rat Grinders are suspiciously quiet. No one's grieving Lucy or anything like that.

0:42:43 Adaine: Yeah, it's weird, right?

0:42:43 Fig: So the Rat Grinders are in on this, in some capacity. And I even think it's possible that, the way that Ivy reacted to me, either she saw through my disguise and so she was being cheeky, or Lucy's around somehow and they've just found another way to proselytize-

0:43:00 Lou: 'Cause she did beckon to you, right?

0:43:02 Fig: Yeah, she was like, "Okay, we're meeting up."

0:43:04 Lou: Yes, like a possession thing, where somebody's, the god is Lucy and-

0:43:09 Riz: What happened to that armor after Gilear had it?

0:43:13 Emily: What happened with the armor?

0:43:14 Brennan: He'd stolen it from Hell, and he just returned it to you when you guys got back from spring break.

0:43:19 Emily: Where is it?

0:43:19 Murph: So it should be in Hell?

0:43:20 Brennan: Yeah, the Armor of Pride is back in the Hall of the Armors of Sin.

0:43:23 Murph: Okay.

0:43:24 Brennan: So the Armor of Pride is just down in Hell.

0:43:25 Emily: And all the demons are archfey are fallen deities?

0:43:28 Brennan: Unclear. Some great celestials and fiends are created by gods in their status as celestials or fiends. Bakur was created by a god that he could no longer name, right, and so there's certain- But it looks like some divinities, some archfey or some celestials or some things like that, are gods who, their worship is waning and waning and waning or their divinity is waning and waning and waning, and they just make a decision to, rather than face death, become something that relies a little bit less on faith.

0:44:03 Adaine: God, I wish Ayda was here. She was so good.

0:44:06 Riz: Yeah.

0:44:06 Adaine: Oh, but maybe...

0:44:08 Ally: Isn't there a door to her library through Mordred Manor?

0:44:11 Brennan: You guys can go to Leviathan whenever you want. The Compass Points is right through a door on the landing of the stairwell.

0:44:16 Kristen: Do some research there?

0:44:17 Adaine: Maybe. Maybe I'll just pop through. We've got a little bit of time before...

0:44:23 Gorgug: Just so you guys know, I feel like maybe we mentioned this, but Ruben's playing at the festival today. So if we're worried about those guys, maybe-

0:44:32 Fig: I'm definitely gonna be going in my alter emo.

0:44:33 Adaine: Yeah, for sure. Your alter emo.

0:44:33 Kristen: Alter emo.

0:44:36 Adaine: So good.

0:44:37 Riz: And there is something going on with that, because my mom is researching a case. That there was some kinda fraud.

0:44:43 Fig: Do you wanna get it? I mean, music is a way to cajole people into feelings and get swept up in a frenzy.

0:44:49 Gorgug: Just so you guys know, also, there's this tent, right? It looks like a normal tent-

0:44:54 Fig: A nudity tent. Yeah, I'm gonna be there.

0:44:57 Gorgug: What?

0:44:57 Kristen: Yeah.

0:44:58 Fig: They have age appropriate ones.

0:45:01 Fabian: There's a teenage nudity tent?

0:45:02 Kristen: The minors' nudity tent?

0:45:03 Fig: There's one for every single age.

0:45:05 Kristen: There's just a big banner that says, "It's not sexual."

0:45:08 Fabian: Wait, does that mean if I'm 18, would I have to go into the adult one by myself?

0:45:12 Fig: You'd have to go into the adult one.

0:45:13 Fabian: Oh, come on!

0:45:13 Siobhan: As somebody who grew up surrounded by these fucking people, they do not care about age appropriate. This is Siobhan talking. I've seen so many naked adults.

0:45:24 Brennan: I've seen so many naked adults bonfire dancing out in the field, yeah.

0:45:27 Siobhan: Hey, it's all natural, man!

0:45:30 Gorgug: So just be on guard.

0:45:32 Siobhan: This is what a real woman looks like.

0:45:35 Brennan: Hee hee hee! I think, getting all that info, that's a couple hours of study, so it's actually getting kind of later on in the day. You can go to Compass Points, but yeah, cracking the books- Cormyr and Rana, part of the reason these notes were so extensive was that there's a fucking ton of them, so it's a lot of poring through stuff to find this.

0:45:52 Fig: If there's one more thing we can do, then maybe we should try and figure out what your mom was looking into, just so we know what to be on tenterhooks about.

0:45:59 Gorgug: You think your mom will go today?

0:46:01 Kristen: Maybe undercover.

0:46:03 Fig: It's hard to be undercover in the nudity tent.

0:46:04 Riz: Based on the sounds of everything that's going on there, I hope not.

0:46:07 Fabian: Can't hide anything there.

0:46:09 Adaine: Maybe me and Kristen can go to the library and you can look up religion stuff, and then-

0:46:13 Kristen: I definitely would do that if we have time.

0:46:15 Ally: I also would love to send a couple texts, one to Tracker to ask if we could talk sometime soon, and then one to my parents to ask if we could get coffee.

0:46:28 Murph: Okay, Tracker just reminded me of something too, because they were saying that Cassandra and Galicaea were both there when-

0:46:36 Ally: I'm gonna ask her about that.

0:46:38 Murph: Do you think it's not suspicious that suddenly, Tracker's religion is blowing up right around the time that this dead god is apparently back?

0:46:48 Ally: Yeah.

0:46:48 Murph: Is it possible that somehow, their worship is powering something that they don't think it is?

0:46:54 Ally: Could be, especially with the new-

0:46:57 Emily: That new girl.

0:46:57 Siobhan: (stuttering) Nalariel.

0:46:59 Emily: The new princess.

0:46:59 Ally: Neandrial?

0:47:01 Brennan: Naradriel.

0:47:03 Ally: Naradriel. She's the scion of Fallinel.

0:47:07 Brennan: She's the scion of Fallinel. Give me one last Religion check, DC 20.

0:47:12 Ally: Advantage?

0:47:12 Brennan: Advantage, yeah. (dice rolling)

0:47:17 Ally: Come on, now. Hey! Let's see. That is a 25.

0:47:25 Emily: The nudity tent has you in a mood!

0:47:28 Lou: Sexy.

0:47:31 Brennan: 25, incredible. You send that text. A few minutes later, you get a text from Tracker saying,

0:47:39 Tracker: Sure thing. I'm busy for the next two days. Let me know what your next, starting Monday, what your week is like.

0:47:46 Brennan: And then a few minutes after that, you get a text from Bucky, saying,

0:47:51 Bucky: Mom and Dad are talking. I think they do wanna talk to you.

0:47:59 Ally: Love my man on the inside.

0:47:59 Brennan: There you go. As you say that, Kristen, you look down and see one of the pages open between- what Adaine and Riz have been looking at has a blank... It's not a blank page. It has some artwork around it, like it was maybe unfinished. It's sort of an unfinished illumination, right? It's what you call an illuminated page in a text that would normally have hagiographic, a saints thing or a divinity or some kind of... There's an arch, it's empty, and you start to look at it and see these symbols. The columns that form this decorative arch are wreathed in flame, it looks like. And you see above the arch are several designs that you realize are 24 point stars with incredibly sharp rays coming out from them in all directions, all illuminated in red ink.

0:48:58 Fig: I wonder if Cassandra got into a union that was too powerful, and Galicaea and Helio-

0:49:07 Adaine: I mean, those 24 point stars sound a lot like the things that came out of Cassandra.

0:49:11 Riz: Yeah, they sound like the things that were coming out of Cassandra.

0:49:14 Fig: Think about it, doubt and rage together, that's where shit starts to really change.

0:49:19 Riz: And I don't wanna come off super conspiratorial.

0:49:22 Murph: You see Riz's eyes are super red.

0:49:26 Riz: But the moon only lights up because the sun, a star, reflects off of it. Is it possible that they are worshiping whatever this is by accident, by proxy?

0:49:37 Kristen: Like Galicaea's religion-

0:49:37 Riz: The light of the moon!

0:49:39 Kristen: ...is a satellite to Helio gaining power?

0:49:43 Fig: Oh my god!

0:49:45 Kristen: Well, I'm wondering, when Cassandra said that, if she was seeing a vision of her ex, who had been killed.

0:49:55 Adaine: Just so mad.

0:49:56 Kristen: What if that was who Bakur was trying to bring back? And what if that is who is in Ragh's mom's chest, and what if that is why she said Ragh Barkrock to you?

0:50:06 Adaine: I mean, Bakur is an archfiend. Is there somebody... Would Baby know anything about him?

0:50:15 Fig: Wretchrot is so fucking good at his job.

0:50:18 Adaine: No, I hear you. I do hear you.

0:50:20 Fig: Sorry, he's so good at his job.

0:50:22 Adaine: Yeah.

0:50:22 Riz: I feel like we could talk to Gorthalax or something, right?

0:50:25 Fabian: Yes.

0:50:25 Kristen: Yeah.

0:50:26 Adaine: You're absolutely right.

0:50:26 Fig: Gorthalax doesn't have time. Because Gorgug is shitting the bed so much at the Owlbears, Gorthalax has been pulling overtime.

0:50:34 Brennan: You get a text from your dad being like,

0:50:36 Gortholax: Hey sweet pea, just wanted to see you, 'cause I know there's a music festival tonight but, you know, Gorgug said he was gonna be trying to get some... I hate to text you about your bandmate, but-

0:50:46 Fig: You want me to run drills with Gorgug?

0:50:48 Gortholax: I just wanna know if he's going to the music festival tonight or if he's gonna be trying to make time to practice.

0:50:54 Fig: Hey Gorgug, Gorthalax wants to know if you're gonna run any drills today.

0:50:58 Gorgug: I think this is sort of crossing a boundary.

0:51:03 Fig: I tell him he's doing drills right now.

0:51:06 Gorgug: I'll just do pushups.

0:51:06 Emily: And then I wanna do a Minor Illusion right in front of my cell phone camera-

0:51:11 Zac: A little mini.

0:51:12 Emily: Of a mini Gorgug running drills.

0:51:15 Brennan: Give me Deception.

0:51:15 Siobhan: It's just like that Shrek running the dog race around the Westminster Dog Show.

0:51:18 Lou: Can I give the Help action by standing really, really far in the back going,

0:51:20 Fabian: Go, Gorgug, go!

0:51:23 Brennan: You guys do a full Ian McKellen hobbits forced perspective.

0:51:24 Fabian: Yes, keep going, Gorgug!

0:51:27 Zac: I accidentally walk through my shadow.

0:51:29 Emily: 19 Deception.

0:51:30 Brennan: Incredible. You get a text back saying,

0:51:33 Gortholax: There he is! That's my Owlbear!

0:51:36 Emily: In the Minor Illusion, I make him so much more powerful.

0:51:39 Brennan: Then Gorthalax says,

0:51:39 Gortholax: Also, I don't know what Cap's up to, but he's grown a full two feet. Happy to see eight foot Fabian on the field next time.

0:51:50 Fabian: Go, Gorgug!

0:51:52 Gorgug: I'm doing it.

0:51:53 Ally: Before we go, can I look at this token that Yolanda gave me and inspect it or show my friends and be like,

0:52:00 Kristen: I don't really know what this is.

0:52:03 Adaine: Is it magical?

0:52:03 Kristen: My teacher gave it to me.

0:52:05 Siobhan: Can I Detect Magic on it?

0:52:05 Brennan: You Detect Magic on it. You detect a faint aura of divine magic on it that you can tell is not connected to any specific deity. It is a deity-less sort of holy symbol.

0:52:22 Ally: The only thing you can believe in is believing. So is it this kind of holding me over until I have an actual deity?

0:52:29 Siobhan: Yeah, is this the Spyre equivalent of spiritual but not religious?

0:52:35 Brennan: A little bit.

0:52:35 Ally: Is this a crystal?

0:52:37 Brennan: This is kind of a crystal, yeah. Murph gives Ally a small crystal

0:52:40 Ally: Oh my god.

0:52:40 Siobhan: Nat 20.

0:52:42 Ally: Oh my god.

0:52:43 Zac: Gorgug's feeling self-conscious of having kinda come in on the mystery stuff a little late and is trying to catch up and says,

0:52:50 Gorgug: You know how you see the unknown?

0:52:54 Fabian: What?

0:52:54 Gorgug: You shine a light on it.

0:52:56 Fabian: Wait, can you just set up again?

0:52:58 Kristen: Gorgug has cracked this thing wide open.

0:53:02 Emily: Real quick, before we leave, I do wanna try to pop off my first prayer.

0:53:08 Brennan: Okay.

0:53:09 Emily: With all this stuff with Cassandra. I'll just do it real quick. I don't even have to narrate it. I see all this holy stuff, get on my knees, and try to-

0:53:18 Brennan: What is a moment of doubt that you hold as being sacred to your life?

0:53:24 Emily: I think that the doubt when my horns started coming in, that tore up my world, but at the end of it, on the other side of that uncertainty, me and Gilear were actually closer than ever.

0:53:39 Brennan: All of you watch Adaine's room fill with indigo light as inside your pocket, the shards of Cassandra glow powerfully bright.

0:53:50 Emily: I'm mouthing all this.

0:53:50 Fig: Dear Cassandra.

0:53:55 Adaine: She's better than Gorgug at barbarian, and now she's better than you at cleric?

0:53:59 Kristen: She's just an absolute jack of all trades, master of all.

0:54:01 Fabian: Yeah, master of all.

0:54:03 Adaine: Jack of all and master of all.

0:54:05 Brennan: Kristen, how do you feel in this moment looking at Fig?

0:54:09 Kristen: I feel really moved and I join her, too, I think,

0:54:13 Fig: (under her breath) Is this right? Do we do this?

0:54:15 Brennan: As you join, I'm gonna say Kristen, you have lost access to your spells. As you kneel next to Fig and both embrace this moment of doubt, the doubt of just sending this message to your parents saying-

0:54:26 Ally: That's exactly what was powering it, yeah.

0:54:29 Brennan: Uncertainty, the power of taking a risk, of doing something and not knowing what the result will be. You regain a 6th level spell slot.

0:54:37 Ally: Ooh, cool.

0:54:40 Brennan: Hell, yeah. Way to go. Something has started here, right? There is some kind of process here. You guys head off. You've spent the afternoon putting all this stuff together, and you head over to Little Branch and the Thistlespring Tree for the Frostyfaire Folk Festival.

0:55:02 Emily: Which one is the nudity tent?

0:55:03 Siobhan: Okay, I do have my invisibility thing on.

0:55:03 Zac: The big one.

0:55:06 Siobhan: And there are a lot of invisible naked people, so actually, maybe we'll switch over to Ethereal.

0:55:12 Brennan: Fiddles and bodhráns (folk music) and smallpipes and penny whistles, banjos and drum circles and all kinds of little... ♪ Tweedle-eedle-dee ♪

0:55:21 Zac: Truly six things into that list, I was like, I recognize that.

0:55:26 Brennan: All of this wild stuff. (chattering crowd sounds) It's rangers and druids, a smell of ancient and powerful body odors mixed with all sorts of natural plant-based narcotics. You see that there are little food areas and tents at the festival that are serving deeply rich, potent vegan meals as people that have talking and speaking animals come with them. Most of the meat that's being served is being served to carnivorous animal companions. You see that there is one area that's just serving boiled potatoes mixed with boiled hay in little bags. Hay and potatoes.

0:56:08 Fabian: I'm gonna put in an order for delivery, if anyone wants anything.

0:56:12 Riz: I'm gonna eat some dog food.

0:56:14 Kristen: Yeah, the dogs are eating well.

0:56:16 Adaine: Yeah, I think that's wagyu grain.

0:56:18 Gorgug: I have some beef jerky in my room.

0:56:19 Brennan: As you guys get there, Digby and Wilma come up. The main stage right now, hasn't hit the headline act yet. On the main stage, there is a band named Ashling that is playing right now. Wonderful, it's just huge hippie vibes everywhere. Way off in the distance you see Ficus, a kid from your school, playing hacky sack with a full grown Kodiak grizzly bear.

0:56:46 Emily: I put my hand through my hair and become Wanda Childa.

0:56:51 Kristen: Whoa!

0:56:51 Adaine: You're so tiny.

0:56:53 Gorgug: Where did Fig go?

0:56:55 Brennan: Digby and Wilma come up and they say, Digby/Wilma: You're all here! Welcome, welcome! It's so great to have you! Do you guys wanna get some stir fry at the stir fry tent? Help yourself and, you know, if you don't have a wristband, no underage drinking. So, you know, gotta stay on the ball about that. But you know what's for free? Dancing! You see, there's a dance crowd down there where the blankets end!

0:57:25 Brennan: You see there's tons of people on blankets. There's a crew of people dancing in front of the stage. Big high stepping, leaping, kind of tambourine, scarf-waving dancers.

0:57:35 Fig: Where's the mosh pit? Digby/Wilma: Well, this is not a sort of mosh pit environment. Usually the way people celebrate here is they sort of leap and twirl for about 60 to 90 seconds, and then they go sit back down.

0:57:49 Kristen: Oh.

0:57:50 Riz: I think we're gonna just walk around.

0:57:51 Kristen: Yeah, we're gonna patrol the perimeter.

0:57:52 Fabian: We're just gonna explore.

0:57:53 Riz: Just gonna walk.

0:57:53 Fabian: Yeah.

0:57:54 Gorgug: If you guys end up wanting to leave, I totally understand.

0:57:57 Fabian: No, we're gonna stay.

0:57:59 Brennan: A lot of very crunchy kids here from Aguefort, who can vote.

0:58:07 Kristen: Oh, I might have to go put my Wranglers on. All right, everybody?

0:58:12 Riz: Put the Wranglers and the cowboy hat back on.

0:58:14 Adaine: You know what salsa and chips is? Vegan.

0:58:17 Kristen: That's true.

0:58:17 Fig: Ooh!

0:58:18 Gorgug: Kristen, you might wanna dress a little differently here, honestly. They kinda prefer, I don't know-

0:58:24 Kristen: You're so right.

0:58:24 Adaine: I saw a stand that was selling ceramic jewelry. It's just ceramic-

0:58:28 Ally: Okay, I want that, and then I put on kinda a peasant top that's really flowy.

0:58:35 Brennan: You guys see a group of ancient druids, who have bark growing from them, follow a treant that strides with them off into the woods, and you see that one of the druids produces a 4 1/2 foot long pipe and puts it to his lips. You see that one of the old druids says,

0:58:55 Druid: You wanna get fucking high?

0:58:57 Riz: No!

0:58:57 Lou: Yeah?

0:58:57 Ally: Can I do an Insight check to see if that's Copperlilly?

0:58:59 Emily: Yeah, I do it with disadvantage.

0:59:00 Riz: Everyone got shot with nets last time!

0:59:02 Emily: I'm doing an Insight to see if this is-

0:59:03 Siobhan: I crit.

0:59:03 Emily: Or Investigation. Oh!

0:59:06 Brennan: You crit?

0:59:06 Siobhan: I crit.

0:59:07 Brennan: You can tell this is an illusion. You can tell this is an illusion on this druid.

0:59:12 Ally: We don't show anything.

0:59:12 Siobhan: Can I Dispel Magic? No, you don't want me to?

0:59:14 Brennan: Go ahead and give me a roll.

0:59:17 Ally: I think maybe we play it cool and we just know that they are here, and we wait to time our attack.

0:59:24 Riz: No thanks, Oisín. We're good.

0:59:25 Emily: Oh! Cast it!

0:59:25 Siobhan: Yeah, I cast Dispel Magic.

0:59:29 Brennan: You cast Dispel Magic? You cast Dispel Magic, and as the illusion fades, you see that a smirking Ruben appears and says,

0:59:34 Ruben: Not Oisín.

0:59:38 Murph: Oh, the bard.

0:59:39 Adaine: Probably 'cause you're a celebrity, right?

0:59:40 Brennan: What's that?

0:59:41 Adaine: You just don't wanna be seen at the festival, 'cause you're too cool to hang out with the people.

0:59:44 Ruben: Well, I'm a little bit too famous, so I kinda like to put on a disguise and wander.

0:59:45 Adaine: I feel like that's just not the vibe of this festival, though.

0:59:47 Ruben: Oh, yeah.

0:59:49 Adaine: 'Cause Fig's right here, and Fig is also-

0:59:52 Kristen: No, Fig left.

0:59:52 Adaine: Oh wait, no!

0:59:53 Gorgug: Fig had to take a shit.

0:59:53 Adaine: Oh yeah, right.

0:59:56 Brennan: Deception. (Emily cackling)

0:59:58 Zac: Disadvantage.

0:59:58 Brennan: Disadvantage.

1:00:01 Zac: Oh! 14.

1:00:03 Brennan: Okay, you see Ruben says,

1:00:03 Ruben: Sounds like her. Bet she would have to take a shit.

1:00:08 Gorgug: We all do.

1:00:08 Riz: Yeah, we all do.

1:00:10 Gorgug: All people do.

1:00:10 Ruben: I don't.

1:00:11 Gorgug: You've never-

1:00:11 Adaine: We ate a lot of vegan food.

1:00:12 Gorgug: So you're telling me-

1:00:13 Adaine: You're telling me you don't shit?

1:00:14 Zac: In my own house.

1:00:17 Ruben: Why are there so many naked old people at your house?

1:00:19 Gorgug: I don't know, man! I don't have anything to do with that. I don't have anything to do with that!

1:00:26 Riz: He's gonna freak out.

1:00:28 Brennan: You see, honestly-

1:00:31 Ally: You go into a rage.

1:00:33 Brennan: I think there's a moment, Fig, you're in disguise, and you're hiding-

1:00:37 Emily: I'm hiding. I don't want him to see me as Wanda Childa yet.

1:00:41 Brennan: You're hiding. As you're hiding, you remember a thing that Porter was talking to you about where he was like,

1:00:46 Porter: No matter how much you devote yourself to doubt, there is always the large possibility of paralysis. The acceptance of doubt can create that. You must always have a closeness to rage, so that in moments of uncertainty, action is available to you.

1:01:01 Brennan: And you feel something power up inside of Gorgug in this moment.

1:01:06 Emily: Fuck. I've been sitting here thinking that Porter's methods with Gorgug were flawed, but maybe Porter's actually onto something.

1:01:15 Gorgug: They're having their own lives naked over there!

1:01:19 Emily: Can I text Porter?

1:01:19 Brennan: Yeah. (Ally laughs)

1:01:20 Siobhan: Why do you have his number?

1:01:23 Emily: Because-

1:01:24 Ally: You've had his number since day one.

1:01:26 Emily: I've had his number since day one! I think I just wanna send a list of all the things that have pissed off Gorgug today.

1:01:34 Brennan: So the list is, what my parents get up to, Telemaine, Telemaine Lomenelda, and I think-

1:01:45 Siobhan: The stuff in the basement.

1:01:45 Zac: Yeah, yeah.

1:01:48 Emily: And also even Ruben saying that he doesn't shit.

1:01:52 Gorgug: You've never done it? You've never done it?

1:01:54 Ruben: I don't do nasty stuff. Sorry.

1:01:56 Gorgug: You're not real. Unreal.

1:01:57 Adaine: You don't do any nasty stuff, and you're a musician?

1:02:00 Ruben: I mean, I get nasty, but I'm not nasty. Listen, I'm getting mobbed for autographs right now, so I gotta go.

1:02:06 Gorgug: You're not. You're literally not.

1:02:07 Kristen: You're not. We don't want your autograph, dude. Freakin' turncoat!

1:02:13 Emily: Can I, in the background, hit him with a Hex to give him disadvantage on Intelligence, so if later I interact with him, less likely to see through my disguise? I'm gonna upcast it so it's a long time.

1:02:28 Brennan: You guys leave, Ruben heads off, and My Clerical Gnomance takes the stage.

1:02:33 Ally: (drawn out) No! (drums playing) No!

1:02:36 Fabian: Guys, come on! This is my favorite one!

1:02:38 Brennan: Ruben comes up. He has an all gnomish band, all emo. He's got a drummer and bass player, a keyboardist, and you see he goes, (feedback screech)

1:02:47 Ruben: Hey, I'm Ruben Hopclap. (guitar joins drumming) We're excited to be playing here with you today at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival. This is 'Doomed to Wanda'.

1:02:59 Zac: Doomed... Wait, this is emo music. Fuck, I was-

1:03:04 Ruben: ♪ You hate when I get mad  ♪  ♪ Get mad, get mad ♪

1:03:10 Fig: You like this?

1:03:10 Brennan: He starts singing the song.

1:03:12 Gorgug: I thought I was- I was thinking of a different... There are things in emo that's cool. (rock instrumental plays)

1:03:17 Brennan: The wind picks up, and you guys see that the trees of Little Branch begin to move. And you hear a crackle of distant thunder, and there is a momentary pulse of electricity. The lights of the stage kinda go a little haywire, and you see that the song sort of stops and Ruben goes,

1:03:38 Ruben: Whoa, sorry. (music fades) We'll take that again from the top. A little encore.

1:03:42 Brennan: And you all hear... (mimics static hissing) (thunder booming) Over the Thistlespring tree, crackling with lightning, you see Principal Grix. Ruben looks up, and you see Principal Grix looks at everyone and says,

1:04:01 Grix: Infractions, misdemeanors, felonies.

1:04:05 Brennan: And you see he looks right at Ruben and goes,

1:04:09 Grix: Perfect order!

1:04:12 Brennan: And casts Disintegrate on him. I am going to need all of you to roll Initiative.

1:04:18 Siobhan: Counterspell!

1:04:18 Brennan: Counterspell. (rock instrumental plays) We see the Thistlespring Tree and the Frostyfaire Folk Festival! (players cheering)

1:04:30 Brennan: You can see before you here Interim Emergency Backup Principal Grix hovering, about to Disintegrate Ruben, the front man of My Clerical Gnomance. Lay of the land, people dancing over here as Ruben and his band play. You've got some family around. Roz and Gorbag are over near the stage. Wilma and Digby are watching from the sidelines. Adaine wants to be in range of a Counterspell.

1:04:55 Siobhan: Yes, where I am, I think, is where I need to be for a Counterspell.

1:04:58 Emily: Well, I guess I should probably be in Counterspell range.

1:04:59 Brennan: Okay.

1:05:01 Emily: But can I just maybe move so that we're not all clumped-

1:05:03 Brennan: Not all clumped together. Absolutely, and you have concentration on a Hex, correct?

1:05:09 Emily: Yeah.

1:05:09 Brennan: Great.

1:05:10 Lou: I would have moved close to the stage. I do love this band.

1:05:13 Brennan: Fabian, go ahead and move yourself closer to the stage.

1:05:14 Lou: Thank you. There's a nun with a dildo.

1:05:20 Emily: Is that one of your parents?

1:05:21 Lou: Which one of your parents is-

1:05:22 Siobhan: A dildo-wielding nun?

1:05:22 Lou: Wielding nun?

1:05:24 Zac: Absolutely none of them. Unless it's both my parents-

1:05:26 Lou: On top of each other?

1:05:31 Brennan: So, all of you see Grix extend a finger, and is going to cast Disintegrate.

1:05:38 Siobhan: Counterspell, 5th level.

1:05:40 Brennan: 5th level Counterspell.

1:05:40 Lou: Wow.

1:05:43 Zac: Okay.

1:05:43 Lou: Deadeye.

1:05:45 Brennan: I'm still gonna need a roll.

1:05:47 Siobhan: In which case, I'll do a 3rd level, 'cause it doesn't make any difference.

1:05:49 Brennan: It doesn't make a difference. (die rolling)

1:05:52 Siobhan: (groans) I will use one of my Portents and make that a 19.

1:06:01 Brennan: Adaine, you reach up a hand and smash that Counterspell away from Principal Grix. As you do so, you see he turns to regard you.

1:06:14 Grix: Perfect order will be maintained.

1:06:18 Brennan: And he is going to initiate his first lair action.

1:06:23 Zac: This is my lair!

1:06:26 Emily: Oh, is Gorgug gonna get lair actions?

1:06:28 Siobhan: Is he gonna get lair actions?

1:06:29 Emily: 'Cause we're at his home?

1:06:29 Brennan: 'Cause we're at his home.

1:06:30 Siobhan: Are Gorgug's parents also gonna get lair actions?

1:06:32 Brennan: Are they gonna get lair actions?

1:06:32 Zac: Please don't give them lair actions.

1:06:36 Siobhan: They're doing something in that tent.

1:06:38 Brennan: You see Principal Grix says... Lightning sort of coursing over his body, he goes,

1:06:47 Grix: An end to festivities, here amongst flagrant rule-breaking!

1:06:53 Adaine: We're not at school right now, man!

1:06:56 Grix: I was made to optimize the school experience. The school experience is best optimized by being omnipresent.

1:07:04 Brennan: And you see that he is going to use a lair action. Underneath all of the tarps-

1:07:07 Zac: No!

1:07:10 Emily: Oh no.

1:07:10 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:07:13 Brennan: Underneath all of the tarps-

1:07:16 Zac: Don't do this. Don't do this. Think about it, think about it. Are you sure?

1:07:24 Lou: Is it too late? Does Rick have other stuff?

1:07:25 Siobhan: The minis have already been made, man. I'm so sorry. The minis have already been made.

1:07:26 Lou: Does Rick have other stuff?

1:07:29 Brennan: Gorgug.

1:07:30 Zac: Think about all the weeks they've done working on this. Please think about it.

1:07:35 Ally: Is it a giant milking machine?

1:07:37 Emily: I'm texting this to Porter right now.

1:07:39 Brennan: Screeching out from various tarps, machines. You see junk machinery and an old lawnmower, a little automatic lawnmower.

1:07:57 Zac: Why is it a lawnmower?

1:07:58 Brennan: Gorgug, you recognize the lawnmower, but it looks like it got retrofitted over the long dark summer of all night, and some modifications have been made to the lawnmower as it begins to-

1:08:12 Lou: Oh shit.

1:08:14 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:08:14 Ally: Oh my god!

1:08:21 Lou: I'm sorry, how tall are your parents?

1:08:22 Zac: So small.

1:08:22 Brennan: The lawnmower appears, charging from this direction.

1:08:28 Zac: So they already made that?

1:08:31 Brennan: It seems like they already-

1:08:33 Zac: It wasn't like he did a spell that made it become that.

1:08:35 Brennan: You see your dad goes,

1:08:35 Digby: The lawnmower!

1:08:40 Gorgug: The lawnmower?

1:08:42 Digby: Our lawnmower! Ah, kid, I'm so sorry. Bud, I...

1:08:47 Gorgug: Why didn't you just send it somewhere else, Dad?

1:08:50 Digby: It's not supposed to be doing this!

1:08:51 Emily: It's kinda fun that it's a mower.

1:08:54 Zac: Is it?

1:08:54 Ally: You get mowed.

1:08:56 Emily: Yeah, you get mowed by it now.

1:08:58 Siobhan: Your lawn is shorn, my guy.

1:09:00 Ally: I'm trying to figure out the other pieces. Maybe I don't want to, though.

1:09:02 Lou: Dildo, feather, butt plug, and then I guess lube gun?

1:09:05 Ally: Yeah.

1:09:08 Brennan: You got it.

1:09:08 Ally: Wow, you nailed it.

1:09:10 Lou: I've had sex before!

1:09:13 Emily: I gotta get on that lube gun.

1:09:14 Lou: This is how the audience founds out.

1:09:15 Ally: I've had sex before!

1:09:15 Lou: Me? I've had a little sex.

1:09:19 Ally: I've had a little sex! I'm freaking cool!

1:09:22 Brennan: A number of other bots arise under Grix's command.

1:09:24 Lou: Okay, they're more normal. Okay, that one, though-

1:09:30 Ally: What's up with that one?

1:09:32 Zac: I'm sorry, I have to-

1:09:33 Siobhan: This one isn't sexual, but feels sexual.

1:09:36 Zac: That might be sexual.

1:09:39 Siobhan: This one's for the sapiosexuals. And that's just a fisting machine.

1:09:44 Lou: Now that's sexual.

1:09:44 Brennan: That one is quite sexual.

1:09:46 Ally: Wow.

1:09:46 Lou: Does it float, too?

1:09:48 Brennan: It is flying. It's a hovering, flying-

1:09:51 Lou: These parents know how to have sex, as someone who knows.

1:09:54 Brennan: You see that again, Wilma and Digby both go, Digby/Wilma: Again, this stuff was all put under a tarp. It was all supposed to stay under the tarp.

1:10:03 Gorgug: You know how to secure a tarp. Digby/Wilma: Well, there's no accounting for-

1:10:07 Zac: Gorgug just puts his goggles on.

1:10:10 Brennan: As they say that, you see Digby and Wilma vanish, sucked inside an old washer and dryer. First, your dad disappears into a dryer right here, and your mom right after as a hose of a wheeled washing machine (mimics thumping) and throws her into the washing machine and hits spin cycle.

1:10:36 Ally: Oh!

1:10:36 Lou: Oh god. Ruthless.

1:10:39 Ally: Ruthless. Wait, so they were into fucking machines, or am I missing something?

1:10:47 Emily: Beardsley, do you really want this?

1:10:49 Ally: Will you tell me? You've had sex.

1:10:51 Lou: Let me explain it to you.

1:10:52 Zac: Beardsley just goes, "Ruthless. So they were into fucking machines?"

1:10:57 Ally: So they were tinkerers, but horny tinkerers?

1:11:00 Siobhan: Yeah dude, you just realized that?

1:11:02 Lou: We've never asked how they make their money.

1:11:04 Ally: That's true.

1:11:04 Lou: They tinker.

1:11:05 Ally: They cam.

1:11:05 Brennan: These are the people that explained docking in freshman year.

1:11:09 Ally: That's true. That's very true.

1:11:10 Brennan: This is not anything we didn't know about the Thistlesprings.

1:11:12 Siobhan: But we didn't know that they fucked each other! I just thought it was an area of academic interest for them.

1:11:19 Brennan: It is also that. So, these bots are going to leap into action.

1:11:24 Ally: And Grix has done this?

1:11:25 Brennan: Grix has awakened all of these machines. It looks like he sent out an EMP, some sort of electromagnetic pulse, over the neighborhood, and just brought a bunch of nearby things to life. Anyone who wants to can make an Insight check. (dice rolling)

1:11:39 Lou: I'd love to.

1:11:39 Emily: I do it with disadvantage. I got a nat one.

1:11:41 Lou: I also got a nat one.

1:11:41 Brennan: There you go.

1:11:43 Ally: Dirty 20.

1:11:43 Brennan: You look at Principal Grix. You can tell- he has not ever done anything relatable, as far as you're concerned. You can read on his robotic face how shocked and alarmed he is by the robots that have come to answer his call. He was basically like, "Robotic creatures of the neighborhood, come to my aid!" and all this crazy shit jumped up. You see him a little bit like,

1:12:07 Grix: Perfect order? Perfect order.

1:12:10 Fig: These are your champions, Grix?

1:12:12 Kristen: This is what you want?

1:12:12 Fig: These are your champions?

1:12:14 Grix: I just, I put out the call, and whoever answers, answers.

1:12:17 Kristen: Wow.

1:12:17 Fig: This is so indecent for a principal to summon to something where minors are at.

1:12:22 Kristen: Yeah! You're not perfect order.

1:12:26 Brennan: (mimics electricity buzzing) He takes 1d4 psychic damage. All right, the lawnmower is going to surge forward.

1:12:35 Lou: Aw, that little turtle eating a pie.

1:12:37 Ally: Just a little turtle eating a pie on a blanket.

1:12:39 Murph: We'll get that turtle out of here.

1:12:41 Ally: I gotta save the turtle.

1:12:41 Zac: Riz, you got the turtle?

1:12:44 Lou: I'm gonna take care of the vulture.

1:12:47 Ally: That's what you think. I'm gonna take care of the vulture.

1:12:49 Emily: I'm gonna fight that bear for no reason.

1:12:52 Zac: I got the clown with hand puppets.

1:12:53 Lou: Brennan slowly kills Digby.

1:12:54 Ally: Move your Hex to the bear.

1:12:54 Emily: Toe to toe with the bear.

1:12:57 Zac: Adaine, you got my parents?

1:12:57 Siobhan: No! What?

1:13:01 Emily: I think I can get your parents.

1:13:02 Brennan: I'm gonna need Dexterity saves from Kristen, Adaine, and Riz.

1:13:07 Siobhan: 14.

1:13:08 Murph: 17.

1:13:09 Ally: That's a dirty three.

1:13:13 Brennan: Dirty three. Riz, you take no damage as you expertly dodge out of the way. You each take 21 points of piercing damage as the lawnmower pulls up and its front blades... (mimics blades whirring) It digs its blades into the front of itself, spraying shards of metal in a 30 foot cone in front of you as Riz dodges. These bipedal bots are going to go. This one's gonna engage with Gorgug. What's their movement?

1:13:45 Murph: I think it's negative five.

1:13:45 Ally: Yeah.

1:13:47 Murph: Has to give somebody else five feet of movement.

1:13:49 Emily: Oh yeah.

1:13:49 Murph: Yeah, that's tough.

1:13:52 Ally: That's tough.

1:13:52 Murph: That's super hard.

1:13:53 Siobhan: Yeah, that's fucked up.

1:13:55 Brennan: This one's gonna use movement and an action just to close, be within range of Kristen here, and then the other one is gonna close with Fabian.

1:14:05 Lou: Oh, lame.

1:14:06 Ally: That's the least sexual one, so you're lucky.

1:14:08 Lou: Thank god.

1:14:09 Ally: Just kinda like a weird flag keg.

1:14:13 Lou: I'm excited to be attacked by this one, you know?

1:14:16 Brennan: Okay, that is-

1:14:17 Lou: I feel like it'll just stab me normally, you know?

1:14:19 Ally: Take 21 fucking damage.

1:14:21 Brennan: Fabian, you take 14 points of slashing damage.

1:14:24 Lou: Ah!

1:14:24 Brennan: As this thing strikes you. Gorgug, you are missed twice.

1:14:31 Emily: Ooh!

1:14:32 Brennan: As these bots come after you.

1:14:32 Zac: Unbelievable.

1:14:33 Brennan: Fabian, that's your turn.

1:14:37 Fabian: The Ball, Gorgug? (stammering) Grix? The parents? The lawnmower?

1:14:40 Gorgug: That's how I feel.

1:14:43 Riz: First things first. Get Wilma out of the spin cycle.

1:14:47 Fabian: Got it! (swashbuckling music)

1:14:48 Lou: I'm gonna start doing my traditional "Ocean's 12" capoeira and bonus action Kinetic Jaunt on myself. I'll move away, or actually I'll go further. I'll go to the one in the back, the dryer.

1:15:01 Brennan: The dryer. Okay, awesome. And you definitely have the movement to get there, right?

1:15:05 Lou: I should. I mean, I have 40 now.

1:15:06 Brennan: Yeah, that's no sweat.

1:15:08 Lou: Great.

1:15:08 Brennan: Cool.

1:15:08 Lou: And can I make either one of the two skills I decided to take advantage on to figure out- disadvantage on to figure out how I could possibly get Digby out?

1:15:20 Brennan: Yeah, give me a Perception check.

1:15:22 Lou: Okay. (dice rolling) That's gonna be a 16.

1:15:25 Brennan: Ooh! In terms of getting Digby out... I mean, you can definitely just attack this thing and bring it to smithereens.

1:15:33 Lou: Okay.

1:15:35 Brennan: Or it could be skill checks to try to open the door.

1:15:38 Lou: Do I get a sense what kinda skill that might be?

1:15:40 Brennan: Well, you know that it's locked. You heard a ka-chunk as the door closed.

1:15:44 Lou: All right, well, I'll just beat the shit out of it, then. We'll just go classic. I'm gonna hit it with my sword.

1:15:51 Brennan: Go for it. (die rolling)

1:15:53 Lou: That'll be a 26 to hit.

1:15:53 Brennan: That hits.

1:15:57 Lou: We'll burn a 2nd level spell slot on Fandrangor. We'll make it a Defensive Flourish from Bardic. And... I don't know, can I trip a machine? We'll use a Goading attack.

1:16:14 Brennan: Hell yeah, awesome. It has to make what kind of save?

1:16:16 Lou: That's a Wisdom saving throw.

1:16:17 Brennan: And is that the Charmed condition or no?

1:16:19 Lou: On a failure, the target has disadvantage on all attack rolls against targets other than you until the end of its next turn.

1:16:24 Brennan: This thing is goaded.

1:16:24 Lou: Thus, it has been goaded. Okay, we're gonna add only one to my AC. Bring that up to 20, and then-

1:16:34 Brennan: Riz, you're on deck, by the way.

1:16:36 Lou: 24 plus 9 for 33 on the first attack.

1:16:41 Brennan: 33 damage?

1:16:44 Lou: That's 9 plus 1d8 plus 2d8 plus 3d8 plus a 4th d8, 'cause my Bardic is now a d8 instead of a d6.

1:16:52 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:16:53 Brennan: Hell, yeah. That's your first attack?

1:16:55 Lou: That's the first attack. Second attack. (die rolling) That'll be a 20.

1:16:59 Brennan: A 20 hits.

1:17:01 Lou: Great, burn another plus Fandrangor, and we'll just leave it at that. (dice rolling) For 13, 14, 15, plus 9, 24 more points of damage.

1:17:15 Brennan: Fabian, tell me what it looks like as you come and save Digby Thistlespring.

1:17:21 Lou: I think I just do a cool B-side flip, stab into the door of this thing, and use the weight to just pop it off.

1:17:30 Brennan: Incredible. Bam! You unmake the dryer. The machine comes apart almost as quickly as it has been put together, and popping that door open, Digby leaps out in front of you.

1:17:43 Digby: Oh bud, thanks so much! I'm sorry, this has gotta be so embarrassing. We didn't wanna put Gorgug in this position.

1:17:50 Fabian: No, of course. This is... These are interesting machines.

1:17:56 Digby: Yeah, it was a long, weird summer.

1:17:59 Emily: What?

1:17:59 Fabian: Yeah. Yeah.

1:18:01 Digby: It was just night the whole time. We didn't know if you kids would come back.

1:18:05 Zac: Gorgug is just thinking about how these are all just from this summer.

1:18:11 Brennan: Incredible. Okay, Fabian, you have defeated the dryer. Bonus action and actions all used?

1:18:17 Lou: All good.

1:18:17 Brennan: At the end of your turn, Principal Grix is going to cast a cantrip and is going to target Adaine, who countered his spell.

1:18:29 Siobhan: Bitch.

1:18:29 Brennan: He hits. Adaine, you take... Oof, you take 22 points of frost damage as a spell erupts from his mechanical finger. That is one of his legendary actions. That is now going to be Riz.

1:18:45 Murph: Sweet. Riz reaches under his coat. You see he's got a brand new bracer. He opens it up. You see a full keyboard, and he begins typing really fast, and then hits enter and goes,

1:18:54 Riz: I'm in.

1:18:57 Murph: And I'm gonna cast Remote Access. You can use any electronic device within range as if it were in your hands. This is not a telekinesis effect. Rather, the spell allows you to simulate a device's mechanical functions electronically. So I would like to access the washer that has Wilma in it and try to get it to crap her out and turn off.

1:19:19 Brennan: Hell yes. Is there any saving throw associated with it?

1:19:22 Murph: It does not have a saving throw on the card.

1:19:25 Brennan: Let me take a look here. I'm gonna say, because this is basically a kill effect, we're gonna make it a Wisdom saving throw versus your DC.

1:19:32 Murph: Cool. 15.

1:19:34 Brennan: Hell yes. And I'll roll in front of the board. 12 or higher is what it needs to save. That is a four! (players cheering) Riz, kicking ass. You see this thing, electricity spins around all over it, and you see that Grix even twists his head as you rip control of the washing machine away from Grix. I'm gonna say if you feel that it's useful, you can take actions in order to make the washer do actions.

1:20:06 Emily: Yeah!

1:20:06 Murph: I would love to do that.

1:20:08 Brennan: You see it (mimics thudding) and spits Wilma out.

1:20:12 Murph: Riz takes his full gamer pose. He pulls out a mouse and stuff and just leans back.

1:20:19 Siobhan: Wow, such a strong squat.

1:20:21 Fig: Everyone, the washer's on our side now!

1:20:23 Riz: The washer's cool now, everybody.

1:20:25 Fig: Everyone likes the washer now.

1:20:25 Gorgug: Thanks, guys.

1:20:28 Murph: And then I'll do a bonus action hide and I'll just jump under this little gnome couch.

1:20:33 Brennan: Hell yeah, give me a Stealth check. (die rolling)

1:20:38 Murph: Doo doo doo. 30.

1:20:40 Brennan: That is very hidden. Wilma and Digby both look at you, Gorgug. Your pals, your friends, have just instantly gotten your parents out of harm's way. They look to you. Wilma/Digby: Bud, what should we do?

1:20:54 Gorgug: Do you have any way of getting these machines offline? Wilma/Digby: We'll try to deal with the lawnmower.

1:21:01 Gorgug: Okay.

1:21:01 Emily: Oh my god!

1:21:03 Gorgug: Okay.

1:21:03 Emily: They want that one intact at the end of this. Wilma/Digby: No one touch the lawnmower!

1:21:07 Ally: That's been a personal fave!

1:21:10 Zac: You have two rounds.

1:21:10 Ally: We had to work up to it!

1:21:13 Brennan: Digby looks at Wilma and says,

1:21:17 Digby: I'll go for the lawnmower! You go for the…

1:21:18 Brennan: And he points at the sort of hovering, menacing one in the corner and he says,

1:21:23 Digby: It was always your favorite,

1:21:23 Brennan: and takes off.

1:21:28 Emily: I'm taking pictures of this, sending it to Porter. (drum-heavy instrumental) We got him!

1:21:34 Ally: We got him!

1:21:34 Emily: We got him, partner.

1:21:36 Brennan: Yeah, you see Wilma goes and grapples the sort of hovering, you can see clearly there's a Sybian strapped to the top of it, and just wrestles it. She's like,

1:21:45 Wilma: Don't you hurt any of my son's friends!

1:21:49 Brennan: And you see that Digby leaps onto the side of the lawnmower and says,

1:21:52 Digby: You've had just about enough fun, pal!

1:21:55 Gorgug: Principal Grix! Disintegrate me, please! I have to get hit first, but...

1:22:05 Brennan: Kristen, that is going to be your turn.

1:22:08 Ally: I'm kinda useless. Can I take the Disengage and then hop into the nudist tent and see if I can get us any help, if there's anyone in there?

1:22:17 Brennan: Hell, yes. Give me a Perception check with disadvantage. (dice rolling)

1:22:22 Lou: It's sweaty in there.

1:22:22 Ally: Still okay. That is going to be 19.

1:22:28 Brennan: A pungent aroma fills your nostrils and you hear someone say,

1:22:33 Nudist: Hey, looking for the shoe rack?

1:22:38 Kristen: What? Well, yeah.

1:22:38 Nudist: Shoe rack's in the corner.

1:22:40 Kristen: I guess that would be the first thing to come off. No, there's danger outside. We need as many people in here to help as we can, and you don't have any time to put on clothes. Come with me!

1:22:51 Lou: Come with me?

1:22:54 Brennan: Come with me. Great. Kristen, do you wanna reemerge from the tent with help?

1:22:58 Emily: With your naked disciples?

1:22:58 Ally: Yeah.

1:23:00 Brennan: Great. Kristen, you emerge from the tent. Two gnomes follow you out of the tent.

1:23:06 Ally: Can I come out the other way so I'm not back-

1:23:07 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:23:07 Ally: I Disengage from that one.

1:23:09 Siobhan: Hell, yeah. Look at the butt.

1:23:09 Ally: You see little butts?

1:23:13 Siobhan: Yes, I love them.

1:23:13 Ally: Cute! They're so chill.

1:23:17 Siobhan: Wow, those gnomes are caked.

1:23:19 Brennan: So, naked gnomes.

1:23:19 Gnomes: All right, how can we help?

1:23:22 Kristen: Okay, there's some kinda fucking robots that I think we need to shut down. Do any you have ways to-

1:23:27 Brennan: You see one of them looks and looks a little bit offended and says,

1:23:29 Gnome: You know the nudity tent's non-sexual.

1:23:31 Kristen: Yeah, no, exactly. That's why I think you'd be so alarmed at the fucking nature of these robots. Look, I can't get into your whole thing right now! I'm pretty sex positive, okay?

1:23:42 Ally: And then I just sprint away.

1:23:46 Brennan: Sprint away, all right. You sprint away. As you sort of clear the nudity tent out, any other bonus actions?

1:23:54 Ally: Bonus action pick up this turtle and kiss it. It's so cute!

1:23:59 Brennan: You do have a 6th level spell slot, and you do have any of your class features that are not spells that you would wanna use.

1:24:05 Ally: Okay, great. Good to know, yeah, yeah. With a 6th level spell slot, can I use a lower level spell?

1:24:12 Brennan: Yeah, for sure.

1:24:12 Ally: Okay, great. 'Cause all I have there is Ice Feast.

1:24:17 Brennan: Great. Great, great, great.

1:24:18 Siobhan: Brennan wrote Ice Feast for real.

1:24:20 Ally: Can I do a Persuasion check on this vulture?

1:24:27 Emily: He is airborne.

1:24:27 Brennan: I will say if you get within five feet of the vulture, I will allow you to do a Persuasion check on the vulture.

1:24:32 Zac: Five feet?

1:24:32 Murph: Persuasion?

1:24:33 Ally: So then yeah, I guess I'll take my movement to start closing with the vulture.

1:24:37 Brennan: Okay.

1:24:37 Ally: 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. I guess I only get one more step closer.

1:24:41 Zac: Do you have any other abilities?

1:24:44 Siobhan: Yeah, don't you have Divine Sense or Turn Undead?

1:24:48 Brennan: At the end of Kristen's turn, Grix, seeing that you've done something into the nudity tent, kicks up a bunch of wind with one of his robotic hands and this is ripped into the sky, leaving two other nude gnomes.

1:25:02 Lou: Wow.

1:25:02 Ally: That didn't follow?

1:25:03 Brennan: That didn't follow.

1:25:03 Ally: Cowards!

1:25:04 Brennan: They're just hanging out.

1:25:04 Lou: Wow!

1:25:05 Siobhan: They're just hanging out?

1:25:05 Ally: Can I say that I started, since it's kind of dusk or dim light here, I started Steps of Night, so I'm kinda flying?

1:25:14 Brennan: Love that. That's great. Yes, absolutely. Charging out from behind the stage that I think is gonna take a run for Kristen is a massive forklift, still under Grix's command.

1:25:29 Zac: A regular one, or?

1:25:32 Siobhan: Just two massive dildos wobbling around.

1:25:38 Brennan: That is a hit on Kristen Applebees.

1:25:42 Zac: What are they lifting?

1:25:44 Emily: Am I within range to Cutting Words? Are you fucked right now?

1:25:48 Ally: I have like 60 health.

1:25:50 Emily: Okay, I'll let you take the hit then.

1:25:51 Brennan: Give me a Strength saving throw.

1:25:53 Murph: I'm gonna do Silvery Barbs.

1:25:55 Brennan: You do Silvery Barbs?

1:25:55 Murph: I do Silvery Barbs.

1:25:57 Brennan: You just canceled a crit.

1:25:57 Emily: Oh!

1:25:59 Ally: Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

1:26:02 Brennan: And turn that into a miss. What does it look like? What does your Silvery Barbs look like?

1:26:05 Murph: I just,

1:26:08 Emily: No! Don't sit so far back!

1:26:10 Riz: I'm in.

1:26:11 Brennan: Actually yeah, you just suddenly trigger a short circuit in the forklift, and it slows just enough for Kristen to jump out of the way.

1:26:18 Kristen: Ah!

1:26:18 Brennan: Incredible. Ruben is going to go.

1:26:19 Siobhan: Okay.

1:26:23 Brennan: And you see, looking horrified, looks over the crowd. Does he see Wanda Childa?

1:26:30 Emily: Yeah, I am Wanda Childa right now.

1:26:32 Brennan: He looks, sees you. A tear comes to his eye. (Emily laughs tinily)

1:26:36 Ally: She's so freakin' tiny!

1:26:39 Siobhan: Oh my god, she's so small! You gotta save her!

1:26:41 Ruben: ♪I'm gonna save you ♪

1:26:44 Brennan: And he just starts playing even harder. But he's going to go ahead and give you a Bardic Inspiration as a bonus action. (Emily moans seductively)

1:26:52 Ally: Wanda Childa!

1:26:55 Brennan: Roz and Gorbag, if you wanna move them up, they're the couple looking at the stage, are gonna run up and help you with the forklift.

1:27:01 Zac: He's got a blazer on.

1:27:02 Brennan: He's got a blazer on. He's dressed up.

1:27:03 Lou: This guy dressed nice to get naked.

1:27:06 Brennan: That is now going to be Figueroth Faeth's turn.

1:27:09 Emily: Okay, so I have a question. If me and Gorgug got up there, could Gorgug use his grappling to basically get him to be not airborne?

1:27:20 Brennan: Potentially, potentially.

1:27:20 Zac: My turn's next.

1:27:23 Emily: Do you wanna Dimension Door?

1:27:25 Zac: Yeah, sure.

1:27:25 Emily: Let's go for a ride.

1:27:27 Zac: I was trying to figure out how to get up to him anyway.

1:27:29 Emily: Okay, I'm gonna Hexblade Curse him, grab Gorgug, and we're gonna go into the sky.

1:27:36 Brennan: Boom, all right. We knew it was coming. We absolutely knew it was coming.

1:27:42 Lou: We're gonna go into the sky.

1:27:43 Zac: So many battles have begun with us Dimension Dooring to a bad guy.

1:27:47 Emily: And I'm gonna be, 'cause I'm Wanda right now, I'm so tiny.

1:27:50 Brennan: Incredible.

1:27:53 Siobhan: Riding on his back.

1:27:53 Ally: You're under Gorgug's arm. He's kinda like, what the fuck?

1:27:58 Emily: I'm riding him like a tiny little broken bird backpack.

1:28:00 Brennan: Unbelievable.

1:28:03 Gorgug: Are you in my backpack?

1:28:03 Fig: It's me, Fig.

1:28:06 Brennan: Any bonus actions from Fig?

1:28:07 Emily: I Hexblade Curse this guy.

1:28:07 Brennan: Hexblade Curse, okay. Here's Wanda. Now, you do that, and I assume fall?

1:28:17 Emily: Will I compromise his ability to grapple Grix if I hold on?

1:28:23 Brennan: If you hold onto him, on his turn, yes.

1:28:28 Emily: Okay, then I'm gonna fall.

1:28:31 Brennan: I have to make a Performance check for-

1:28:33 Ally: Wait, doesn't he leap to try to catch her? I mean, come on!

1:28:37 Brennan: Ruben, you hear, squeaks off note as he sees Wanda falling. He goes,

1:28:40 Ruben: I love you!

1:28:40 Brennan: as Wanda falls. Let's see how much falling damage that is. “Wanda” (Fig): I'm a true broken bird, falling from the sky!

1:28:48 Gorgug: What happened?

1:28:49 Lou: How close am I? Am I within 60 feet?

1:28:52 Brennan: Are you within 60 feet? Yes.

1:28:54 Lou: I'm gonna whip out my battle sheet and cast Feather Fall.

1:28:56 Brennan: Look at that! You full 'Doctor Strange' your battle sheet. It flies off. Unbelievable. You land safely down below, Fig.

1:29:08 Lou: But that moment of terror does happen, 'cause I want him to feel it. (music fades) I want him to know what it would feel like if the most important thing in his world disappeared.

1:29:18 Emily: I acknowledge that you did it, being like, knowingly, and then I look at Ruben and I'm like, “Wanda” (Fig): You saved me! (Ally cackling)

1:29:27 Emily: And I take out my earbuds.

1:29:27 Ally: What did you do?

1:29:29 Brennan: You take out your earbuds at the music festival? Incredible. “Wanda” (Fig): You got my attention. What do you wanna do with it?

1:29:38 Brennan: He waits for an instrumental break and goes,

1:29:39 Ruben: What were you listening to? “Wanda” (Fig): A podcast.

1:29:46 Emily: I put them back in.

1:29:46 Ally: The Dry Guys?

1:29:50 Brennan: Incredible. Gorgug, that's gonna be your turn.

1:29:53 Zac: Okay. Ah! Gorgug was thinking about how it may have been a good time to go back inside, but now he's here. Also, could Gorgug have his Steel Defender out here?

1:30:06 Brennan: Yeah, Cloaca is ready to go.

1:30:08 Zac: Cloaca is my homunculus servant but, you know, my Steel Defender, the sorta class feature of my artificer is, I think, a gecko named... Clobica?

1:30:23 Brennan: Okay. Okay, where do you want this-

1:30:26 Zac: I think he would have been just on the ground.

1:30:30 Lou: Cloaca, Clobica.

1:30:30 Brennan: Great.

1:30:33 Emily: Clocica!

1:30:33 Lou: I can't wait.

1:30:35 Brennan: Okay, so Clobica is a slightly larger, better version of Cloaca.

1:30:39 Zac: Sure. Yes, yes.

1:30:39 Brennan: And flies to your defense.

1:30:42 Zac: Great, first off, Clobica will do a force-empowered rend, which is a melee weapon attack.

1:30:49 Brennan: Cool.

1:30:50 Zac: 19 on the die. I think that's probably hitting.

1:30:53 Brennan: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. 19 plus whatever, yes, absolutely.

1:30:57 Zac: That's two plus four, six damage from that.

1:31:00 Brennan: Hell, yeah.

1:31:01 Zac: And then Gorgug is going to take out his axe. He's not raging. He's trying to channel his artificer stuff, even though he really wants to rage right now, and I'm gonna recklessly attack. (dice rattling) But before that, I'm gonna cast Branding Smite.

1:31:17 Brennan: Okay, bonus action Branding Smite. Hell, yeah. Hell yeah.

1:31:20 Zac: So first attack, that is a 24 to hit. (dice rolling)

1:31:24 Brennan: Shield.

1:31:26 Emily: Counterspell.

1:31:27 Brennan: Okay, go ahead. 3rd level. You get rid of the Shield. You hit.

1:31:31 Zac: Okay, great.

1:31:32 Ally: Wow.

1:31:32 Lou: Killing it.

1:31:34 Zac: And then my second attack. (dice rolling) 23.

1:31:37 Brennan: 23 also hits.

1:31:37 Zac: Okay, great. So this is... (dice rattling) 30 damage.

1:31:44 Brennan: Oof! Incredible.

1:31:47 Lou: Big ups!

1:31:47 Brennan: You wallop Grix as Fig knocks his Shield spell out of the sky. Gorgug, that's both your attacks. You're going to fall now.

1:31:57 Zac: Oh, right. Well, I'm falling.

1:31:58 Brennan: There you go.

1:31:58 Ally: Can you grab onto him?

1:31:59 Brennan: You, bam bam, get these attacks in and head to the earth below. Is Clobica staying up there or is Clobica coming down with you?

1:32:08 Zac: Clobica will follow me down.

1:32:08 Brennan: Cool, cool, cool. Before you begin to fall, Gorgug, he is going to use a legendary action, sort of, at the beginning of your fall to make an attack against you. That is a hit. I'm gonna need a Constitution saving throw from you.

1:32:24 Zac: Shield?

1:32:26 Brennan: You cast Shield. Bypasses.

1:32:28 Zac: Wait, it bypasses it? Okay.

1:32:28 Brennan: He bypasses your Shield. He beats the AC anyway.

1:32:32 Zac: Constitution save is what you said?

1:32:33 Brennan: Constitution.

1:32:33 Zac: Okay.

1:32:36 Lou: ♪ Constitution  ♪ (die rolling)

1:32:38 Zac: That's a 12.

1:32:39 Brennan: He deals you eight points of lightning damage. You are stunned.

1:32:42 Emily: No!

1:32:44 Zac: I have resistance to thunder damage. Is that different than lightning?

1:32:47 Brennan: Different than lightning damage, yeah. What was that Constitution saving throw again?

1:32:50 Zac: 12.

1:32:50 Brennan: 12, yeah. You are stunned. As the battle sheet wraps around Gorgug and Fig, you see Grix reaches out, and just a stroke of lightning. Your heart stops. You're going through weird palpitations of your heart and are fully stunned.

1:33:03 Gorgug: What a day.

1:33:05 Brennan: What a fucking day. Adaine, now it is your turn.

1:33:08 Siobhan: Okay, great. (classical music) I am gonna bonus action, using my sword, cast True Strike just so that I have Dodge...

1:33:15 Brennan: Cool.

1:33:15 Siobhan: ...going.

1:33:16 Brennan: Yep.

1:33:16 Siobhan: And then I'm gonna cast Summon Elemental. So Dry Guy, you're out again. So it's one medium air elemental that can fly.

1:33:28 Brennan: Great.

1:33:28 Siobhan: And has two attacks.

1:33:31 Brennan: Perfect.

1:33:31 Siobhan: Can I have the elemental, when it's up there, do some kind of Investigation? Because it has a thing called Amorphous Form. The elemental can move through a space as narrow as one inch wide without squeezing.

1:33:47 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

1:33:48 Siobhan: Is there a one inch hole in Grix that it can potentially...

1:33:51 Emily: Sand in the robot.

1:33:53 Siobhan: Can the air elemental go up the robot's butthole, is essentially what I'm asking.

1:33:57 Brennan: If you tell me what you're planning to do with that information, I'll make a ruling on it. Otherwise, I will say no.

1:34:02 Siobhan: I guess it's mostly flavor. I just wanna be able to attack it as effectively as possible.

1:34:06 Brennan: Gotcha.

1:34:08 Siobhan: If there's any kind of armor that it's wearing, maybe, that the air elemental could bypass.

1:34:12 Brennan: Can take advantage of. You know, as they say, the reason there are no called shots in D&D is that characters are always trying their best to hit the weak points. So if there is a butthole that this air elemental can go into-

1:34:22 Siobhan: Then it does.

1:34:24 Brennan: Then it hitting a natural 20 is the double damage that finding the butthole represents. You know what I mean?

1:34:30 Siobhan: Sure. So the air elemental attacks twice. (dice rolling) First is a 23 to hit.

1:34:38 Brennan: A 23 hits. (die rolling)

1:34:39 Siobhan: And the second is a 17 to hit.

1:34:43 Brennan: 23 hits, 17 misses.

1:34:45 Siobhan: On that attack, instead of doing damage, can it be a grapple attack?

1:34:47 Brennan: Sure.

1:34:48 Ally: Do they have two attacks?

1:34:48 Siobhan: They have two attacks.

1:34:50 Brennan: Yeah, you can make a grapple.

1:34:51 Siobhan: Great, so I'll grapple instead of attacking.

1:34:53 Brennan: Perfect, go ahead and give me an opposed Athletics from your elemental.

1:34:56 Siobhan: I guess it's just its Strength, right?

1:34:58 Brennan: Yeah.

1:34:58 Siobhan: So 17.

1:35:01 Brennan: You see it is unable to grapple Principal Grix.

1:35:05 Siobhan: Okay. Okay.

1:35:08 Brennan: It is now going to be the washer's turn.

1:35:12 Murph: The washer is hacked.

1:35:12 Emily: Yeah, the washer is-

1:35:15 Siobhan: The washer's hacked.

1:35:15 Brennan: The washer is hacked! Wow, okay. The washer does not act. You've just dodged a whole... I've got to say, you guys are kicking ass in this fight. This was gonna be really fucking hairy. Okay, Principal Grix is going to go. Ungrappled, Grix is going to fly even higher.

1:35:36 Emily: You wanna go higher?

1:35:40 Zac: I'm stunned this next turn.

1:35:40 Emily: Aw!

1:35:42 Brennan: He's gonna target everybody.

1:35:48 Emily: Counterspell, Counterspell! I used my reaction.

1:35:52 Siobhan: Counterspell.

1:35:54 Brennan: He moves to 70 feet above you. Clever, clever.

1:35:58 Ally: Clever girl. Clever Grix.

1:35:58 Lou: Clever Grix.

1:36:01 Brennan: I am going to need Intelligence saving throws from everybody.

1:36:07 Brennan: Damn.

1:36:09 Ally: I am going to need a mini Three Musketeers from that table over there.

1:36:16 Zac: Do I make the check if I'm stunned?

1:36:19 Brennan: You can make that.

1:36:19 Emily: What is Ruben's Bardic?

1:36:22 Brennan: Ruben's Bardic is actually a d12. A crew member comes by and brings Ally a Three Musketeers.

1:36:24 Ally: Oh my god. Oh no, Halle, no!

1:36:24 Emily: (gasps) What-uh?

1:36:26 Ally: Please never think I'm meaning that sincerely.

1:36:30 Siobhan: You're gonna eat it though, right?

1:36:31 Lou: They say as they open it.

1:36:32 Brennan: Oh no, sorry, not a d12.

1:36:32 Ally: No, no!

1:36:35 Lou: Halfway open.

1:36:35 Brennan: Ruben's Bardic is a d8.

1:36:36 Emily: d8, okay.

1:36:36 Ally: God, it's so good.

1:36:37 Emily: I'm gonna hang onto the Bardic and not use it 'cause I don't think his 8 could get me there.

1:36:41 Brennan: Did anyone get an 18 or higher?

1:36:43 Murph: 18.

1:36:44 Zac: Did you say five?

1:36:46 Siobhan: I did, but I used my second Div roll.

1:36:48 Lou: [points at Murph, Ally, and Siobhan] Nerd, nerd, nerd.

1:36:48 Brennan: Incredible. Wow, a lot of you got an 18. Amazing. Riz, Kristen, Adaine, you each take 21 points of psychic damage.

1:37:00 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:37:00 Brennan: Gorgug, Fabian, Fig, you each take 43 points of psychic damage and are stunned.

1:37:08 Siobhan: Oh my god.

1:37:09 Zac: But if I was already stunned-

1:37:10 Brennan: It doesn't stack, so you're just still stunned. (Zac wheezes)

1:37:14 Siobhan: This guy is so bad.

1:37:17 Brennan: So you see Grix goes,

1:37:17 Grix: Flagrant rule-breaking.

1:37:22 Adaine: Tell us what rules we're breaking!

1:37:24 Brennan: He unhinges his jaw so much that the top of his head goes upside-down behind his lower jaw and goes (mimics sonar blaring) and just psychic screams, deals all of this wild damage to all of you. How many hit points does your elemental have, Adaine?

1:37:41 Siobhan: 50.

1:37:41 Brennan: Obliterates the elemental, 'cause he can actually pick multiple targets.

1:37:46 Siobhan: This guy's too strong, man. He's too fricking strong.

1:37:49 Brennan: He's too freaking strong.

1:37:49 Siobhan: It's not fair!

1:37:51 Brennan: How many hit points does Clobica have?

1:37:53 Murph: No!

1:37:53 Zac: Sorry.

1:37:54 Lou: No!

1:37:55 Emily: Wait, I wanna use a Luck roll to try and do better.

1:37:58 Brennan: Yeah, do it.

1:37:58 Emily: Come on!

1:38:01 Brennan: Here we go, here we go, here we go!

1:38:02 Murph: There's no way. This energy is just not gonna happen.

1:38:06 Brennan: Here we go, here we go, here we go!

1:38:07 Emily: I literally had a crisis of faith, 'cause Faeth is my last name and I had a crisis of whether or not my dad was my fucking real dad! Okay, that becomes a 13.

1:38:15 Brennan: 13. Wait.

1:38:18 Emily: With the Bardic, I could hypothetically hit it.

1:38:20 Brennan: You could do it. I'll let you know right now. With 13, you would just have to hit a 5. 50/50, it’s a total coin flip on this d8. Five or higher gets it done.

1:38:28 Emily: I look at Ruben so, so scared.

1:38:33 Ruben: Wanda, I literally wrote this song about you. This is kind of crazy, actually. I know other stuff is going on right now, but this is actually kind of crazy. “Wanda” Fig: Sorry, what did you say?

1:38:46 Emily: I got a one.

1:38:46 Murph: Oh no!

1:38:49 Brennan: Incapacitated also means concentration is gone, so Kinetic Jaunt is gone, Hex is gone, any concentration you had is gone.

1:38:58 Zac: 30 HP on this Steel Defender.

1:39:00 Brennan: Okay, go ahead and roll an Intelligence saving throw for the Defender.

1:39:02 Zac: Okay.

1:39:05 Emily: Does it do it with advantage, for fun?

1:39:08 Zac: Yeah, it's a seven minus three.

1:39:12 Brennan: Clobica is toast. Goodbye, Clobica.

1:39:15 Ally: Clobica!

1:39:15 Brennan: Clobica is gone. At the end of Grix's turn, that's gonna be a lair action. “Wanda” Fig: (whimper) No!

1:39:24 Murph: Wanda. “Wanda” Fig: (whimper) No!

1:39:26 Ally: Wanda.

1:39:26 Brennan: Wanda, Wanda!

1:39:30 Ally: Wanda, maybe chill-da. Where's that undercover cop or whatever?

1:39:37 Lou: Yeah, where's Clark? Where's Agent Clark when we need him?

1:39:41 Brennan: Grix momentarily lowers himself, goes (groaning and glitching) and you watch his body kind of decompose a little bit. Some of the gears- Ping! Ping!- spring out and coils snap as he resurrects the dryer. Bam. You watch as some of his life force seems to go away in that moment. That is his lair action. The lawnmower is gonna go for Digby. It does not recharge its shrapnel blast. Is going to hit Digby for 18 points of damage.

1:40:21 Lou: Oh god.

1:40:24 Brennan: You see that it turns around. Digby says,

1:40:25 Digby: Stop! As your creator, I command you! This was not what you were made for! You were built for pleasure and lawn maintenance, not for this!

1:40:37 Emily: Why the same- why?

1:40:37 Ally: At the same time.

1:40:40 Digby: It's multipurpose.

1:40:40 Adaine: Seems really unhygienic. “Wanda” Fig: They don't overlap enough.

1:40:43 Fabian: The lawn does look good.

1:40:45 Kristen: It looks good, and you look happy, honestly.

1:40:48 Riz: The lawn looks great.

1:40:48 Kristen: You look happy.

1:40:50 Riz: Your parents have a great relationship.

1:40:51 Fabian: You're glowing, your lawn is-

1:40:53 Emily: Your lawn looks like it's come recently.

1:40:58 Zac: Is that morning dew?

1:40:58 Emily: It's a little late for the morning dew to be so slick.

1:41:03 Ally: What?

1:41:06 Murph: All right, we gotta get Grix.

1:41:08 Brennan: Adaine, you take-

1:41:08 Siobhan: Come on, man!

1:41:10 Brennan: You take seven points-

1:41:10 Siobhan: You're bullying me.

1:41:12 Brennan: You're in the middle! You take seven points of damage.

1:41:15 Siobhan: I'm down!

1:41:15 Brennan: Oh no! Adaine goes down as the biped bots surround. Adaine drops.

1:41:21 Emily: So three people stunned, one person down.

1:41:25 Zac: One person, no spells?

1:41:27 Lou: One person no spells, almost killed by a forklift.

1:41:30 Murph: A spell.

1:41:31 Siobhan: What the fuck are all these nudies doing?

1:41:33 Brennan: They're running. There's people attacking them.

1:41:37 Siobhan: This bear doesn't have any spells?

1:41:39 Brennan: That's a hit on Gorgug.

1:41:39 Siobhan: What about this fucking scarred guy with the freaking Vans tie?

1:41:42 Brennan: You guys are doing great. 13 damage to Gorgug as one of the sorta walking furnaces comes over and slams into you.

1:41:49 Gorgug: What's happening today?

1:41:53 Ally: What's everybody at? You're down.

1:41:56 Emily: You're stunned.

1:41:56 Brennan: Fabian, that is going to be you.

1:41:58 Lou: Yo soy stunned.

1:41:58 Brennan: Go ahead and give me an Intelligence saving throw.

1:42:03 Emily: Oh my god.

1:42:03 Murph: Oh no, it's one of those.

1:42:05 Lou: 14.

1:42:05 Brennan: 14 does not make the save. You remain stunned. Riz, this is you.

1:42:11 Murph: Okay.

1:42:11 Ally: Washer battles the dryer.

1:42:14 Murph: Yeah, I think that we've got bigger fish to fry than the dryer and washer. How high is he right now?

1:42:21 Brennan: Right now, he's about, I would say, 50 feet up.

1:42:24 Ally: Did he come lower to get in range with the dryer that he re-brought out?

1:42:28 Brennan: Yes, to get in range with the other robotic creatures.

1:42:34 Murph: I don't know if I have... I mean, I can shoot- I can shoot him. I can shoot him. I can shoot him. I'll shoot him. Okay, I'm gonna pop out and just shoot at Grix.

1:42:43 Emily: Okay, but you'll have advantage. Remember to roll with advantage.

1:42:45 Murph: Yes, yes, I'll pop out of hiding. I just stop with the cute stuff. I literally just rip off my bracer and throw it and just pull out a gun and start shooting at the guy. (Murph hollering)

1:42:52 Brennan: Incredible. Go ahead, roll your attack roll with advantage.

1:42:57 Siobhan: And it's radiant damage, right?

1:42:59 Murph: It is. That's a 29 to hit.

1:43:03 Brennan: Grix throws up a Shield, and you bypass it.

1:43:05 Ally: Nice.

1:43:05 Emily: Thank god!

1:43:07 Murph: Whew, that was scary.

1:43:10 Brennan: Throws up a Shield and you bypass. Reaction. (dice rolling)

1:43:13 Murph: Oh yeah, pretty good.

1:43:13 Ally: Yes!

1:43:14 Murph: A couple ones, but a couple sixes.

1:43:17 Lou: There it is.

1:43:19 Murph: 28 damage, and I'll also do Fury of the Ball to do an extra 11 damage to do 39.

1:43:26 Brennan: You do 39 damage?

1:43:26 Emily: Yeah!

1:43:30 Brennan: All of you who are stunned, as you're sitting here, you feel your heart beating wrong, it's arrhythmic and you can't move your muscles, look and see Grix looking down at all of you and saying,

1:43:42 Grix: I had been instructed to expect tomfoolery from none so much as you, the aptly named Bad K… (mimics explosion)

1:43:49 Brennan: And gears rocket out of his chest. He moves from looking pretty good to quite hurt as your bullet emerges out through the gears of his body. Bonus action.

1:44:02 Murph: Dive back under the couch.

1:44:06 Brennan: Give me Stealth, give me Stealth.

1:44:07 Murph: Come on. (die rolling) 19.

1:44:10 Brennan: You dive back under there. At the end of your turn, trying to hide on that 19. Grix makes you and is going to make an attack. That is going to hit. He deals 18 ice damage, 18 frost damage to you.

1:44:27 Murph: Okay. (groans) Okay, okay, I'll take it.

1:44:32 Brennan: That is now going to be Wilma and Digby, who see these machines that they're tangling with, but more to that point, see that their son and his friends are in danger. Digby is going to hit a little teleporter on a little tinker's wristwatch and appear next to Gorgug here. You see Wilma is going to use one. I don't think she has line of sight to Fabian. She does to Fig, so she's gonna go to Fig. They are each going to bonus action Misty Step and give Help actions to Gorgug and Fig.

1:45:12 Emily: I don't look like Fig right now, just to be totally honest.

1:45:16 Zac: They think you're our friend Wanda.

1:45:17 Ally: They think you're Gorgug's new friend. They would probably still help. They're like, “we gotta help that girl! She's so small!”

1:45:25 Brennan: Kristen.

1:45:25 Ally: Yes?

1:45:27 Brennan: That is you. That is your turn. Wilma and Digby are gonna run to Wanda and Gorgug.

1:45:34 Ally: Okay, you're down. Everyone else is above-

1:45:37 Murph: I'm at 34 now, which is below half.

1:45:37 Ally: 34.

1:45:40 Lou: 51.

1:45:40 Emily: I'm at 38.

1:45:43 Murph: I think it's worth it.

1:45:43 Ally: Okay, yeah. I'm going to cast Mass Cure Wounds.

1:45:51 Emily: Yeah!

1:45:51 Brennan: Hell, yes. Go ahead and roll. (dice rolling)

1:45:58 Ally: Yes, motherfucker! Three eights and a two.

1:46:02 Brennan: Hell, yes.

1:46:02 Ally: Five, yeah.

1:46:04 Siobhan: So 31?

1:46:04 Ally: 31 to everybody.

1:46:05 Brennan: And then do you add your spellcasting modifier to that?

1:46:07 Ally: I just did.

1:46:07 Brennan: You just did? Awesome.

1:46:08 Emily: Kristen, you took me to 69.

1:46:08 Ally: That's right, everybody!

1:46:13 Siobhan: That's my base number.

1:46:14 Brennan: That's your action. Any bonus action or movement from you?

1:46:17 Ally: Yeah, I'm gonna kind of... I'm still kinda flying, so I'd love to just kind of be on top of this tree. No, I wouldn't. I'll just take a little kinda walk away.

1:46:29 Brennan: Okay. Take a little walk.

1:46:29 Siobhan: Into the trash can.

1:46:33 Ally: I love the turtle so much.

1:46:35 Brennan: It's great. You continue to walk away.

1:46:39 Ally: What are you about to do?

1:46:39 Brennan: You continue to walk away. The forklift misses its attack of opportunity as you walk away.

1:46:43 Ally: Fabulous.

1:46:45 Brennan: That is Kristen's turn. At the end of your turn, Kristen, I think having just been badly injured, he's gonna go for Riz again.

1:46:50 Murph: Yeah, makes sense.

1:46:53 Brennan: He's gonna hit again.

1:46:53 Murph: Okay.

1:46:54 Brennan: He deals 21 points of damage to Riz.

1:46:56 Murph: Okay, I'll Uncanny Dodge that to take off 10.

1:47:00 Brennan: Okay. As another spell comes rocketing towards you, the dryer, which has almost no hit points left, it's just been kind of resurrected, is going to turn to Fabian. It's going to belch fire. You automatically fail the save. You take 33 points of fire damage. As fire rushes out of the dryer, the forklift is going to turn to attack Roz and Gorbag.

1:47:36 Lou: No!

1:47:36 Zac: Oh my god.

1:47:38 Emily: Damn, you got too many parents on the field.

1:47:41 Zac: Four parents on a battlefield is too many.

1:47:44 Brennan: The forklift misses Gorbag. (rock music) This thing is gonna come straight for your mom. It's coming straight for Wilma. The Thribian rushes forward, and misses. Not designed for battle, really. Pretty ineffective, as far as these things go. Ruben up onstage says,

1:48:06 Ruben: Everybody, Frostyfaire is about love and having a good time and appreciating bodies and eating the stuff they serve at that tent, okay? And that's why we're gonna give this asshole a piece of our mind, two three four! (Brennan mimics guitar shredding)

1:48:24 Brennan: And jumps into another rousing, sort of upbeat, Blink-182 sounding kind of song, very catchy. Him and all of the bards onstage with him are going to throw out Bardic Inspirations, so everyone's got a d6 and you got a d8.

1:48:41 Ally: Quick question. He singled out a tent that everyone's eating at. Can I do an Insight to see-

1:48:47 Brennan: Yeah.

1:48:49 Emily: Is the vulture going there or not?

1:48:51 Ally: Yeah, is the vulture gonna go there?

1:48:54 Siobhan: How hungry is the vulture?

1:48:54 Ally: 21.

1:48:56 Brennan: You see, on a 21, looking up, (music fades) the vulture makes direct eye contact with you.

1:49:03 Emily: (laughs) Get the vulture to fly you up.

1:49:07 Ally: Okay.

1:49:07 Lou: Okay.

1:49:08 Ally: No, I was gonna see, is there any subliminal packaging to that food?

1:49:12 Brennan: Give me Insight.

1:49:12 Ally: Oh, okay. (die rolling) She really bounced around, didn't she? That is only a 15.

1:49:21 Brennan: Copy that. Not to your knowledge, no.

1:49:23 Ally: But I do know that the vulture looked right at me.

1:49:26 Brennan: Roz and Gorbag begin to beat the shit out of the forklift.

1:49:30 Zac: Yeah! (rock music resumes)

1:49:31 Brennan: You see Roz jumps into the driver's seat and starts to try to tear the steering wheel off, and you see Gorbag gets in between the teeth and starts to try to lift it up. He does a deep squat and is like,

1:49:39 Gorbag: You're going up! You're going up in the air! You're going up in the air!

1:49:45 Brennan: That is going to be Figueroth Faeth. You have a d8 Bardic.

1:49:48 Emily: Yo soy stunned.

1:49:48 Brennan: You have 2d20. You're rolling with advantage 'cause of Wilma.

1:49:53 Emily: That's a nat one. Okay, that's a seven.

1:49:59 Murph: Luck point?

1:49:59 Emily: I mean, yeah. I guess so. That's a two.

1:50:04 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

1:50:08 Brennan: Brutal, brutal.

1:50:11 Ally: Cursed season.

1:50:11 Brennan: Cursed, cursed. Gorgug, that's gonna be you, and then Adaine on deck.

1:50:16 Ally: These are some Gilearean rolls.

1:50:18 Lou: Gilearean! (dice rolling)

1:50:21 Zac: 11 plus 2 is 13, plus a d6?

1:50:26 Brennan: Plus a d6.

1:50:26 Murph: If you get a five-

1:50:29 Brennan: A five or a six.

1:50:29 Murph: It was 18. You have to get a five or a six.

1:50:31 Lou: Get that big six.

1:50:31 Ally: You got it.

1:50:32 Zac: Big six. Two.

1:50:32 Murph: Brutal.

1:50:35 Brennan: Brutal. Adaine, that's you.

1:50:37 Siobhan: I can't do that much damage against this guy, but I can do a lot of damage against the robots.

1:50:45 Murph: I know, but the robots are just controlled by him. I did 40 damage. Really fucked him up.

1:50:51 Siobhan: Yeah, so he's pretty fucked up. Okay, so I'm gonna summon another air elemental.

1:50:55 Ally: Nice, with two attacks.

1:50:55 Siobhan: Bring the Dry Guy back!

1:50:59 Brennan: Bring him back.

1:51:00 Siobhan: Bring him back. We love the Dry Guy.

1:51:02 Lou: God, I love the Dry Guy.

1:51:04 Ally: He hosts the podcast?

1:51:05 Siobhan: Yes.

1:51:05 Emily: Yeah.

1:51:06 Siobhan: It's by mephits, for mephits.

1:51:09 Emily: Wanda's not listening to that podcast.

1:51:11 Ally: Are you sure?

1:51:12 Emily: She's listening to something that's about complicated women.

1:51:19 Lou: It's just an essay.

1:51:20 Murph: The Complicated Women Podcast?

1:51:24 Ally: Okay, Kristen has to be able to make a fucking appearance there.

1:51:27 Lou: Are you listening to the CW? I love the CW.

1:51:32 Emily: I love the CW.

1:51:32 Siobhan: So the air elemental is up. It's a 90 foot range, so the air elemental is back up. Up the butthole.

1:51:38 Brennan: Back up the butthole. Okay, go ahead and roll your attacks.

1:51:44 Ally: I put the name of that podcast in my extremely important notes list.

1:51:47 Siobhan: So close.

1:51:47 Ally: Of major plot points.

1:51:49 Zac: Complicated Women?

1:51:50 Siobhan: First is a 16, which I'm assuming misses.

1:51:53 Brennan: Misses. Shield is still up.

1:51:53 Murph: Oh lord.

1:51:57 Siobhan: No.

1:51:59 Brennan: The air elemental rushes to join Grix in combat. Any bonus actions from Adaine?

1:52:05 Siobhan: I will cast True Strike again so I have dodge, so if any of these guys try and hit me, they have disadvantage.

1:52:11 Brennan: Copy that. Air elemental jumping up to do battle with Grix. That is-

1:52:18 Siobhan: Wait, hang on, can I use my Bardic for the air elemental?

1:52:21 Brennan: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:52:21 Siobhan: Okay.

1:52:24 Brennan: This is the 16.

1:52:24 Siobhan: No, so the second one was, I rolled a 9 plus 8, which would've been 17 plus 2, 19. Does 19 hit?

1:52:32 Brennan: 19 does not hit.

1:52:34 Siobhan: Goddamn.

1:52:34 Murph: He's got Shield up.

1:52:36 Brennan: He takes another shot at Riz, misses.

1:52:40 Emily: Oh, thank god.

1:52:40 Murph: Okay. “Wanda” Fig: Riz, you're our only hope!

1:52:44 Riz: No! Don't put any more pressure on me!

1:52:47 Lou: You've got this, The Ball.

1:52:47 Emily: If I take a stress point, can Riz roll with triple advantage?

1:52:53 Siobhan: That's a really good question.

1:52:55 Brennan: That is once again Principal Grix's turn.

1:52:57 Lou: Big Grix.

1:52:59 Ally: Big Grix.

1:53:00 Lou: Big Grix.

1:53:01 Emily: You're so getting fired for this.

1:53:04 Lou: He tried to kill us.

1:53:04 Emily: Oh yeah.

1:53:06 Zac: You're going viral, bud.

1:53:06 Siobhan: Can we film him?

1:53:09 Emily: I'm streaming this. I'm stunned, but I'm still streaming.

1:53:11 Ally: Yeah, you're like...

1:53:14 Zac: Say hello to TikTok.

1:53:15 Brennan: I am going to need a Wisdom saving throw from Riz Gukgak.

1:53:19 Emily: No!

1:53:21 Ally: Riz!

1:53:22 Lou: The Ball, you're the wisest guy I know. (dice rolling)

1:53:25 Murph: 8.

1:53:28 Emily: If I take five stress tokens, will you...

1:53:32 Brennan: Take five. You got an eight?

1:53:32 Murph: Yeah.

1:53:34 Brennan: Grix looks at you and says,

1:53:35 Grix: Your situation. Your temperament. What cause do you have with these Bad Kids? Do you not see that there is a better world?

1:53:47 Brennan: And imposed in your mind's eye is a vision of Lord Salazar Edge's Academy for Solo Adventurers, and he casts Dominate Monster on you. He can command you, essentially.

1:54:03 Siobhan: Counterspell.

1:54:03 Brennan: And the range is 60 feet, so he's got to get within 60 feet of Riz. This is a big Counterspell. This is an 8th level spell. This is definitely Box of Doom. He is about to take over Riz's mind.

1:54:17 Siobhan: So I've got to get a-

1:54:17 Emily: I need this to happen.

1:54:19 Murph: You need to hit an 18.

1:54:19 Zac: Come on, come on!

1:54:20 Siobhan: An 18, so I have a plus four, so I have to get a 14.

1:54:23 Brennan: You need a 14 or higher in the box to prevent this.

1:54:27 Lou: Give us a win!

1:54:27 Emily: Come on!

1:54:28 Lou: We could use a win.

1:54:28 Siobhan: It's a 12!

1:54:31 Emily: Fuck me!

1:54:34 Brennan: Riz, (hypnotic music) you feel your mind slinking away. Perfect order. Is that really so bad? Isn't that sort of what you always wanted on some deep, profound level? As his lair action commences, he is going to restore one of his spell- roll to see if he can restore one of his spell slots. He is not able to restore one of his spell slots. Lawnmower is gonna come for Riz at this point. Two attacks coming in, Riz. One hits for 13 points of slashing damage.

1:55:13 Siobhan: Why did your parents put something slashing on the dildo machine?

1:55:16 Emily: Yeah.

1:55:18 Zac: I really can't answer that question, (music fades) and I'm really mad at you asking.

1:55:23 Ally: It's the lawnmower part of it. It's the lawnmower part of it!

1:55:25 Brennan: I'm really mad at you for asking. Adaine, you take six points of damage.

1:55:29 Zac: Adaine, you're kicking a man while he's down.

1:55:33 Murph: If I take damage, do I roll anything to not be charmed? Do I get to reroll or anything?

1:55:37 Brennan: Ooh.

1:55:37 Emily: Ooh!

1:55:39 Brennan: That's a very good point.

1:55:40 Murph: Just trying to get an upside to having my mind taken over and getting attacked by a lawnmower.

1:55:47 Brennan: You make a new Wisdom saving throw.

1:55:49 Ally: That's right, that's right!

1:55:50 Brennan: That was a bad call on the robots' part.

1:55:52 Emily: Come on, Murph!

1:55:55 Murph: Oh, that's probably not good enough.

1:55:58 Siobhan: Do you have your Bardic?

1:55:58 Murph: 16.

1:56:00 Brennan: You just need to not get a one.

1:56:01 Murph: Okay, please!

1:56:01 Lou: Is it a one?

1:56:03 Brennan: It's a one!

1:56:03 Lou: He got a one!

1:56:05 Murph: No! What?

1:56:05 Lou: He got a damn one!

1:56:08 Murph: Come on!

1:56:08 Zac: Wait, that was a one?

1:56:09 Lou: It was a one!

1:56:09 Murph: (throwing the dice to the floor) Get out of here!

1:56:12 Brennan: There's dice all over the dome.

1:56:14 Murph: Get out!

1:56:14 Siobhan: I'll take six stress tokens so Murph can reroll that save.

1:56:17 Lou: That was so nasty.

1:56:18 Emily: Also, over here, I just rolled two nat ones in a row.

1:56:20 Ally: That was nasty!

1:56:20 Murph: Nobody pick that up. I'll pick it up, I'll pick it up. I'm sorry. It was a joke. It was just a joke.

1:56:24 Ally: Nobody pick that up. If someone could bring me a little-

1:56:26 Murph: Nobody pick that up!

1:56:26 Siobhan: Nobody pick that up!

1:56:28 Brennan: So Fabian, it is your turn. You have the Help action. You have Bardic.

1:56:32 Lou: I don't think I have the Help action.

1:56:33 Brennan: Oh, you don't.

1:56:33 Emily: Take mine.

1:56:35 Brennan: You just have Bardic.

1:56:35 Emily: I'm cursed. (dice rolling)

1:56:40 Lou: No. It's 11, and I can't get to 18. So I'll just continue to roast. I'm best medium rare. Just a little pig.

1:56:56 Brennan: Riz, you get the command to go after Kristen. (tense music)

1:57:00 Ally: You're pretty far away. Not clear line of sight.

1:57:04 Lou: With his gun?

1:57:05 Brennan: And you don't have advantage on Kristen.

1:57:07 Murph: Okay.

1:57:07 Ally: Honestly, disadvantage. Look how much stuff is in between us right here.

1:57:11 Murph: I think I can hit the forklift from here!

1:57:13 Emily: You could do a bad cantrip or something.

1:57:17 Murph: Just-

1:57:17 Brennan: Make an attack with your gun.

1:57:19 Riz: Okay. Kristen, watch out! I'm gonna get the forklift! I think I can hit the tube right there!

1:57:25 Kristen: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

1:57:25 Riz: I think I can hit the tube! (tense music builds) That's a two.

1:57:30 Emily: Yes!

1:57:32 Siobhan: Finally, Murph's bad rolls come in clutch.

1:57:35 Brennan: Finally, finally, finally.

1:57:35 Siobhan: Finally!

1:57:37 Ally: I love the two crew. (softer music returns)

1:57:40 Murph: I miss the tube wildly.

1:57:43 Brennan: Pow. Grix looks very disappointed in his new thrall. Once again saying,

1:57:47 Grix: Perfect order,

1:57:49 Brennan: he turns his attention to Adaine as Riz now goes after Kristen. Kristen, it is your turn. You have used your spell slot. You look around you. You see-

1:58:07 Emily: The vulture.

1:58:07 Murph: Freakin' hit me! Throw a rock at me!

1:58:08 Siobhan: Fly!

1:58:09 Emily: Get the vulture.

1:58:09 Murph: Throw a rock at me!

1:58:13 Ally: I-

1:58:14 Emily: You could probably bonus action throw a rock at him.

1:58:17 Brennan: Can I bonus action throw a rock at Riz to try to knock him out?

1:58:19 Riz: I'll hit the tubes near all of you!

1:58:21 Brennan: You wanna try to throw a rock at Riz?

1:58:23 Ally: Bonus action.

1:58:23 Brennan: Bonus action. Yeah, I'll let you throw a rock as a bonus action.

1:58:28 Siobhan: An unarmed strike?

1:58:31 Kristen: Riz, I'm sorry! (die rolling)

1:58:33 Brennan: No, that's not gonna do it.

1:58:37 Ally: Okay, I'm gonna run even further to the stage, kinda hide behind these, and give Gorgug the Help action.

1:58:45 Brennan: Yeah. I think as you do that, you look up and see the vulture up above you. (thoughtful instrumental)

1:58:54 Siobhan: Get up there. You can fly, you can literally fly!

1:58:58 Ally: I am up this high.

1:58:58 Brennan: You're right near it. Now, the question I have to ask you is this. Do you want to give the Help action-

1:59:05 Ally: To the vulture?

1:59:05 Brennan: ...or do you want to interact with the vulture? Zac gives a thumbs up.

1:59:11 Ally: Are you sure? Okay, I use my entire action to-

1:59:17 Murph: Yeah?

1:59:17 Ally: ...engage with the vulture.

1:59:20 Brennan: You have three allies who are stunned. One of them is Dominated.

1:59:23 Ally: Yeah.

1:59:25 Brennan: Your wizard is alone in the center of the battlefield, surrounded by enemies.

1:59:28 Ally: Mm-hmm.

1:59:29 Emily: Yeah, no, I think this is good. I like this.

1:59:34 Ally: I kinda stand up a little bit more straight so I look a little bit more presentable. We were eating earlier, I think we can all agree, so maybe there's a crust-

1:59:46 Siobhan: Yeah, we can all agree on that.

1:59:47 Ally: ...of bread-

1:59:49 Lou: That you saved?

1:59:49 Ally: ...in my pocket.

1:59:50 Siobhan: Vultures famously love bread.

1:59:52 Ally: And I just kind of-

1:59:52 Emily: I mean, when you're on the campaign trail, you always gotta have a snack in your pocket.

1:59:55 Ally: You always gotta have a snack. You know, Hillary Clinton had hot sauce in her bag.

1:59:56 Siobhan: Hot sauce in her bag.

2:00:00 Brennan: So there's just a normal vulture. It's just here on this piece of scaffolding. You hold a piece of bread up to it.

2:00:05 Ally: I start climbing the scaffolding.

2:00:08 Lou: Aren't you flying?

2:00:09 Ally: Yeah, I can only fly so high.

2:00:11 Zac: The legs are kind of-

2:00:11 Siobhan: Just floating. You're like an astronaut moving through space.

2:00:14 Murph: You're really easily climbing.

2:00:15 Ally: A crust of bread.

2:00:15 Lou: Great upper body workout.

2:00:19 Ally: I go,

2:00:19 Kristen: Cassandra, if you can hear me, please help me talk to this vulture.

2:00:25 Zac: I can't believe this is the season finale.

2:00:26 Emily: Oh, the vulture! Doubt and death!

2:00:30 Murph: We just gotta hit this guy, like, once.

2:00:33 Brennan: Badly injured Grix.

2:00:33 Emily: The mystery of the vulture!

2:00:34 Ally: So many allies down. You go to the vulture. You hand it bread. Totally normal vulture. As you hand it, do you reach to a place of doubt and uncertainty?

2:00:43 Ally: Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely, Brennan. Ally Beardsley is at a place of doubt and uncertainty with this move.

2:00:51 Brennan: You've been investigating vultures that have nothing to do with what's going on at all since freshman year.

2:01:00 Ally: Yeah.

2:01:00 Brennan: Repeat for me again, what do you say as you extend bread to this vulture?

2:01:04 Ally: I'm talking to Cassandra and I say,

2:01:07 Kristen: Please help me reach out to this vulture. (Brennan caws) Hey. Hey, girlie. Hey, girlie.

2:01:18 Vulture: What did you call me?

2:01:20 Kristen: What?

2:01:22 Vulture: What did you call me? (metal music) The screen projects a swarm of feathers covering the dome

2:01:23 Ally: What? No!

2:01:26 Vulture: (yelling) You have trifled with me for the last time! You are entering the Vulture Dimension!

2:01:33 Ally: What? What?

2:01:35 Zac: No!

2:01:36 Ally: What?

2:01:36 Zac: No! Brennan lifts up a giant nest of feathers

2:01:38 Brennan: All of you vanish from the Thistlespring Tree and are transported to the Vulture Dimension, and that's where we're gonna end this episode of "Dimension 20". (music fades)

2:01:50 Murph: Okay!

2:01:52 Zac: There was a carbon monoxide leak in the dome.

2:01:56 Ally: There was a carbon monoxide leak in the minis workshop.

2:02:02 Brennan: We'll see you next week in the Vulture Dimension. Tune in. Thanks for watching.

2:02:06 Zac: Part of me was like, it's a bummer that Brennan has to make some shit up to help us get through this battle. NEXT EPISODE - Episode 9: Vulture Clash [Next Time On Dimension 20]

2:02:12 Brennan: The members of My Clerical Gnomance have been struck by powerful magic from Principal Grix.

2:02:17 Fig: I know how to handle this.

2:02:17 Fabian: Okay.

2:02:18 Emily: I'll Minor Illusion a sexy rat.

2:02:20 Fabian: No! Come on. Come on, dude!

2:02:22 Kristen: We're gonna find your husband.

2:02:24 Adaine: Or wife. You're assuming.

2:02:24 Kristen: Or wife. Or partner!

2:02:28 NPC: Don't fucking tell me what to do!

2:02:28 Riz: Okay.

2:02:31 NPC: You are the fucking treasurer!

2:02:33 Riz: Okay, okay! I'm sorry!

2:02:35 Gorgug: I think I hate you, and you're just fucking in my way.

2:02:38 Porter: What do you do to something in your way?

2:02:40 Gorgug: You knock it down.

2:02:41 NPC: Hi, who am I speaking to?

2:02:44 Fabian: David.

2:02:45 NPC: Get a lock! Get a lock on the location!

2:02:47 Brennan: All of you discover the body of Lucy Frostblade.

2:02:50 Lou: Holy shit.

2:02:51 NPC: Is everything all right, Ms. Abernant?

2:02:53 Adaine: No, everything's fine. Everything's absolutely fine. What could be more fine? Everything's peachy. I love my life.

2:02:59 Porter: One of the entire classes at the school is gonna be moved to pass-fail. Zac & Siobhan: The entire class?

2:03:03 Fabian: You are cursed. You're like 100% cursed, and it's not even just to the person, it's to the world just kinda generally around them.

2:03:14 Fig: Yeah. Yeah.

2:03:14 Captions Extracted by: OliverC

2:03:14 Edited by: OliverC