Summer Breakdown

0:00:18 Fantasy High: Junior Year Emily Axford as Fig Faeth; Zac Oyama as Gorgug Thistlespring; Siobhan Thompson as Adaine Abernant; Lou Wilson as Fabian Seacaster; Ally Beardsley as Kristen Applebees; and Brian “Murph” Murphy as Riz Gukgak Episode 2: Summer Breakdown < [Previous Episode] | [Next Episode] > [INTRO THEME] [rock music]

0:00:48 Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome back to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Fantasy High". I'm your humble dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me, as always, are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes!

0:00:55 All: Hi, intrepid heroes!

0:00:59 Brennan: Last we left off, we were chasing down the Night Yorb, who now flees towards a portal deep in the archways of these massive wind-carved stones in the depth of the Red Waste. The Night Yorb, surrounded by its cultists, conveniently called Yorbies, that are chanting its name as it approaches the portal-

0:01:11 Emily: Noooo!

0:01:23 Brennan: Don't worry, I only count it on a bonus action for them.

0:01:25 Emily: Okay.

0:01:27 Brennan: I'm not gonna be cheesy, they have a bonus action where they get to say the name, Night Yorb. We left with the Hangvan perilously in the air, tilting sideways, a rock tipped over to crush it in midair, and with a sickening gurgle from her stomach and a flash of yellowy light, Fig, in a blast of magic, sends the rock scattering and the Hangvan rights itself, bam, landing here back in pitched combat. The Night Yorb surges ahead. What happens when it makes its way to this place, we cannot say, but we are once again in combat with all of the Yorbies pursuing you on their mounts. We see the van here. To the right, Duggan McCann and Fabian Aramais Seacaster, ballista all scattered out before you, and these cultists of the Night Yorb that wish to bring about whatever happens when the Night Yorb reaches that portal. Adaine Abernant, you are first to act. We are back in combat. [gentle instrumental]

0:02:27 Siobhan: Oh boy, okay. Can I do an Insight check to see if something grabbing onto the Night Yorb would slow it down, or is only this radiant thing gonna do anything?

0:02:40 Brennan: Give me an Insight check.

0:02:41 Siobhan: Great. 23.

0:02:42 Brennan: You don't know what would move the Night Yorb specifically but the solar lasso is essentially a fishing line. So I'll spell out the mechanics, and then you make any determination that you want.

0:02:54 Siobhan: Great.

0:02:57 Brennan: Because those mechanics are set. That's physics. That's like, law of magic in Spyre. If it gets within five feet of the sigil on top of the van-

0:03:03 Siobhan: Uh-huh

0:03:09 Brennan: And it is bloodied-

0:03:09 Siobhan: Yes.

0:03:11 Brennan: Someone can do that action to try to seal it away within the sigil on top of the van. If you are able to do that- so in other words, if the lasso were to get it to like 10 feet and someone could just leap up and beat it in an Athletics to do a shove attack, right? You see what I'm saying? So the lasso's doing a tremendous amount of work, because it's keeping it- it's tightening the circle of how far away it is, over and over and over again. But once you get it to some kind of critical mass where it's close enough, you can start to, for lack of a better word, “cheat it” even though it's not cheating at all. But you know what I mean.

0:03:49 Siobhan: Sure.

0:03:49 Brennan: You would be able to go, okay, let's just get it over the finish line.

0:03:52 Siobhan: So I’m not gonna- if I cast something, it's not gonna instantly gonna get sucked into it or not have any effect. I can do something on its physical body to move it, potentially.

0:04:01 Brennan: Potentially, yes. It is incredibly strong. It has a Strength of, like, 29.

0:04:06 Siobhan: Great.

0:04:06 Brennan: But if you can find ways of getting it five feet closer, that's great. But remember, if it moves- either with a legendary action or on its turn or whatever, if it moves, then it goes to the maximum distance of the solar lasso.

0:04:20 Siobhan: Would me moving it make the solar lasso an easier check for Zac?

0:04:25 Brennan: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, potentially. If you were to slacken it a lot, right?

0:04:30 Zac: I could reel it in easier.

0:04:31 Brennan: You could reel it in easier, for sure.

0:04:33 Siobhan: Okay, great.

0:04:33 Brennan: Yeah.

0:04:34 Siobhan: In which case, I will cast Bigby's Hand.

0:04:37 Brennan: Ooh!

0:04:38 Siobhan: My second 5th level spell, right in front of it, and I will use Grasping Hand.

0:04:44 Brennan: Hell yes.

0:04:46 Siobhan: Which is a grapple check, so it's the hand's Strength score to resolve the grapple.

0:04:52 Brennan: Okay, so you're gonna try to reduce its speed to zero, effectively.

0:04:56 Siobhan: Yes, that's what I'm trying to do.

0:04:57 Brennan: Copy that, awesome. Describe what the hand looks like as you summon it.

0:05:00 Siobhan: Um, I think-

0:05:02 Brennan: Or if it even looks like a hand. It could look like anything.

0:05:04 Siobhan: Yeah, I think the hand looks like a really big version of Riz's beringed Mage Hand.

0:05:13 Brennan: Incredible.

0:05:14 Siobhan: Just as a fun little bit, just for myself.

0:05:16 Murph: Wow.

0:05:16 Brennan: Incredible.

0:05:17 Murph: That's cool and casual. [players laughing]

0:05:21 Brennan: Go ahead and roll your first grapple check.

0:05:25 Siobhan: Great. That's a 16 plus 8, so a 24.

0:05:30 Emily: It is still Hexed, so it's gonna have disadvantage still on Athletics.

0:05:33 Siobhan: Great.

0:05:33 Brennan: This is pretty significant. So we're gonna roll, and this is Concentration.

0:05:40 Siobhan: It is Concentration, yes.

0:05:40 Brennan: We're gonna roll here. If the lower of these two die is an 11 or lower, it fails, and also, because this is an opposed skill check, it cannot use legendary resistance.

0:05:51 Emily: No, it can't!

0:05:53 Brennan: Very sharp. Very, very sharp, okay.

0:05:57 Siobhan: We learned how to play the game in this last 5 1/2 years.

0:06:00 Lou: All the way.

0:06:00 Zac: A little bit.

0:06:01 Siobhan: A little bit, yeah.

0:06:02 Brennan: If one of these is an 11 or lower it’s over.

0:06:04 Murph: Yes!

0:06:05 Brennan: 6!

0:06:06 Emily: Yeah!

0:06:08 Ally: And an 19.

0:06:08 Murph: I only saw the 19 at first.

0:06:11 Brennan: Adaine, coming up with that Healing Word from Fig, [magical woosh] comes to. Magic cascades before you and [Brennan warbles as the Night Yorb] the Night Yorb is grasped by a massive hand of glowing arcane force.

0:06:26 Siobhan: And since I've done that, and it is grappled, I can use my bonus action to use the hand to crush it, so that's an extra 2d6 plus 4.

0:06:33 Brennan: Ooh, go for it. What kinda damage does that do?

0:06:35 Emily: Force.

0:06:35 Siobhan: It is bludgeoning damage.

0:06:36 Emily: Oh, nevermind

0:06:37 Brennan: Bludgeoning, gotcha.

0:06:37 Lou: Classic.

0:06:40 Siobhan: Classic!

0:06:40 Murph: So classic.

0:06:41 Siobhan: I could not have rolled worse. That is 7 damage to the Night Yorb.

0:06:43 Emily: Hey, that’s less than [inaudible]

0:06:46 Brennan: 7 damage.

0:06:46 Ally: Could get it to bloodied. What does it gain every time someone says its name?

0:06:49 Lou: 5.

0:06:52 Ally: 5, okay. Alright, that took one of the names away!

0:06:55 Brennan: Yeah.

0:06:55 Lou: Yeah, there it is.

0:06:55 Ally: From this new chorus of name sayers

0:06:56 Siobhan: Don't patronize me. It was bad.

0:06:59 Brennan: But the main thing is that you've taken a thing that's the whole win condition is it getting here [gestures to a portal on the battle map], and it can no longer get there. So, I'm gonna say its speed being closed, I'm gonna adjudicate this in the moment, a success on the solar lasso, a success will go from 5 feet to 10, and a success of 10 or more will move from 10 to 20.

0:07:20 Siobhan: Yes!

0:07:20 Brennan: Okay?

0:07:22 Emily: Yes, baby!

0:07:22 Brennan: Adaine, that is your turn. Gorgug Thistlespring, you are up.

0:07:27 Siobhan: Okay.

0:07:27 Zac: Thank you. I can do the lasso on my turn, right?

0:07:32 Brennan: Yes, you can.

0:07:33 Zac: Okay, so I will just try that, I guess.

0:07:36 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:07:36 Zac: And it's with advantage, right?

0:07:38 Brennan: It's rolling disadvantage. Okay, you've got to beat a 17.

0:07:41 Zac: A 17 on the die plus 3 plus 5.

0:07:45 Emily: So that's more than-

0:07:45 Zac: So 25

0:07:46 Emily: Oh wait - 17

0:07:47 Brennan: 17 on the die-

0:07:47 Emily: I'm gonna Cutting Words to try and get it to... [snaps] Minus 6.

0:07:51 Murph: Whoa! Nice!

0:07:51 Ally: Nice, nice, nice.

0:07:52 Brennan: You reel it in 20 feet. The Night Yorb is on fucking top. It is five feet away from the ritual being cast-able.

0:08:03 Zac: All right, and I can do my- do it again?

0:08:06 Brennan: You can do it again.

0:08:06 Zac: All right.

0:08:06 Murph: Woah!

0:08:07 Brennan: Yes, you can.

0:08:07 Zac: It's showtime!

0:08:09 Siobhan: Come on, yeah!

0:08:12 Brennan: Okay, that's gonna be a 26.

0:08:13 Siobhan: Actually, it's a 1. I rolled two 1s on my divination rolls.

0:08:17 Emily: Yeah!

0:08:17 Ally: Wow.

0:08:18 Brennan: Nat 1, that is a 13.

0:08:21 Zac: Dirty 20.

0:08:22 Brennan: 13, dirty 20. It is 5 feet over the sigil. The Night Yorb- you can,  everyone in the Hangvan feels [Brennan warbles as the Night Yorb] as this thing beats on top of you.

0:08:33 Murph: Balthazar, are you okay in there?

0:08:35 Zac: I’m gonna-

0:08:37 Ally: I'm sure he's fine.

0:08:37 Za: I'm gonna go into a rage!

0:08:39 Brennan: Okay, sick. You go into a rage.

0:08:40 Gorgug: [yelling] It's happening!

0:08:40 Brennan: It's fucking happening! You've got it right there. It is not bloodied, but you've got it. This incredible piece of arcano-tech you've built, Gorgug, is working. You see that this hand is shoving it down onto the Hangvan as you've got the solar lasso going, and Kristen Applebees, that is going to be your turn.

0:08:58 Siobhan: Fuck it up, Kristen!

0:08:58 Ally: This is just a cantrip, but I'm going to cast Toll the Dead.

0:09:03 Brennan: Let's see if it gets it bloodied. Let's see if it gets it bloodied.

0:09:07 Ally: If the target is missing any hit points, it's instead 2d12 necrotic damage.

0:09:12 Brennan: Okay, here we go. (die rolling)

0:09:16 Ally: That's a 2. (die rolling) That's an 8! All right, 10.

0:09:20 Brennan: 10, and what I need from you is, does it get a saving throw?

0:09:24 Ally: Yeah, a Wisdom saving throw.

0:09:25 Brennan: Gotcha. Okay, 10 damage coming the Night Yorb's way. Wisdom saving throw. Fails, takes the full 10. It has resistance to necrotic, so it's gonna become 5. However, 5 damage. The Night Yorb is bloodied.

0:09:41 All: Yes!

0:09:41 Emily: Yes!

0:09:42 Brennan: The Night Yorb is Bloodied.

0:09:42 Ally: So sick.

0:09:44 Brennan: So all of you are watching. Kristen, you toss this cantrip up overhead. All of you see... [screeches as the Night Yorb] Adaine's sigil on the roof of the van begins to glow, powerful daylight moving up. You see that the Night Yorb is twitching, the stars in its body [gibbers as the Night Yorb] moving around everywhere. Kristen, any bonus actions from you?

0:10:05 Ally: No, no no no.

0:10:05 Brennan: Okay.

0:10:07 Ally: I have... Okay, never mind. That was fine.

0:10:10 Brennan: Okay.

0:10:11 Ally: I was gonna maybe try to borrow your gun, because I can add radiant damage to a shot like that.

0:10:16 Murph: I do have radiant damage on the gun.

0:10:16 Ally: Okay, tight. Okay, cool.

0:10:18 Murph: Do you have any kind of Healing Word type situation or whatever?

0:10:21 Ally: Definitely.

0:10:21 Murph: Because I think a lot of people are hurt.

0:10:22 Siobhan: Yeah, do you have Mass Healing Word?

0:10:24 Ally: I do.

0:10:25 Murph: That would be sick.

0:10:25 Siobhan: Would you be interested in doing that?

0:10:27 Murph: Would you be interested in healing us?

0:10:30 Emily: Can I interest you in healing? I don't need any healing personally.

0:10:33 Murph: I mean, I'm just worried.

0:10:33 Siobhan: I mean, I'm on 9 points.

0:10:35 Murph: Because I feel like everything the Night Yorb has done would have taken me down, had it hit.

0:10:39 Lou: Yes, and I feel like-

0:10:40 Zac: Is Mass Healing Word a bonus action?

0:10:42 Siobhan: Yeah.

0:10:42 Zac: Oh!

0:10:43 Ally: Oh, is it? I had no idea. I was like, I have it.

0:10:46 Siobhan: It's a bonus action, and you did cantrip, so you can cast it.

0:10:48 Murph: Who's the most hurt? I'm at 29.

0:10:50 Siobhan: I'm at nine.

0:10:51 Lou: I'm all the way up to 50 now.

0:10:52 Ally: I can do six creatures.

0:10:52 Emily: I got my temp HP.

0:10:54 Ally: I can do all of us.

0:10:54 Murph: Oh shit, sick.

0:10:55 Emily: However, I need to not lose my Concentration on Hex.

0:10:59 Ally: Everyone gets 11 points of health.

0:11:04 Brennan: Everyone gets 11 points of health.

0:11:06 Siobhan: Okay, back up to 20.

0:11:06 Brennan: Everyone gets 11 HP back.

0:11:09 Emily: I don't need it. Is there someone else we can give it to?

0:11:12 Lou : Does everyone get it?

0:11:12 Ally: Can the van take it?

0:11:14 Brennan: I will allow the van to take it in this instance. 11 to the van, great. The van is now back at 59. [ominous music plays] We come back into combat. The Hangvan gets those hit points back. It is the Night Yorb's turn. We're gonna roll a recharge for that breath weapon. Five or six does the trick.

0:11:32 Murph: One!

0:11:35 Brennan: Three.

0:11:35 Emily: Yes! Oh, huge, huge, huge.

0:11:36 Brennan: Does not recharge.

0:11:37 Siobhan: Thank god. That was so bad.

0:11:39 Lou: Huge.

0:11:39 Emily: Huge!

0:11:40 Brennan: It is going to multiattack.

0:11:45 Lou: Aw!

0:11:47 Ally: Wait, are you serious?

0:11:47 Lou: That's so cute.

0:11:50 Emily: That feels like a stretch, that this has multiattack. [omi

0:12:00 Siobhan: Brennan, you're literally bullying us.

0:12:01 Murph: I've never heard of a monster that attacked… Two times?

0:12:04 Emily: It's not like we're playing level 20 characters, Brennan.

0:12:06 Lou: You mean over several turns, right?

0:12:07 Siobhan: We're only level 10. We're basically babies.

0:12:10 Brennan: Playing with you all at level 10 has never convinced me that this game is unplayable at level 20. Fucking unplayable. Okay, it's going to bite attack Adaine Abernant.

0:12:21 Siobhan: [gasps incredulously] How dare you, and also, you can try, because I have Mirror Image on, so... It does hit.

0:12:31 Emily: No!

0:12:32 Siobhan: It does in fact hit me.

0:12:32 Lou: You were much too confident.

0:12:37 Siobhan: I had to roll above a six.

0:12:37 Zac: You can try!

0:12:39 Lou: You can try!

0:12:39 Emily: It was really cute, though.

0:12:42 Brennan: Okay, in the Mirror Image, first of all, let's see if it hits. It might not hit. It hits.

0:12:48 Siobhan: Shield.

0:12:48 Brennan: It bypasses the shield.

0:12:50 Murph: Can I Silvery Barbs?

0:12:50 Brennan: You can Silvery Barbs.

0:12:52 Murph: Okay, let's try it.

0:12:53 Brennan: Adaine, you've used your reaction to cast Shield.

0:12:55 Siobhan: Yes.

0:12:56 Brennan: Your armor class is currently 20.

0:12:58 Siobhan: Yes.

0:12:58 Brennan: You are making it reroll. It succeeds.

0:13:01 Siobhan: Goddammit!

0:13:04 Brennan: And it bypasses the Mirror Image. It is going to deal 30 points of damage to Adaine.

0:13:11 Siobhan: I'm back down, and the hand is gone.

0:13:15 Brennan: The hand vanishes, still at five feet. The hand still did its job, it got you to the point where it's reeled in on top of the sigil.

0:13:23 Emily: We just need to get to our little lair action.

0:13:25 Brennan: The Night Yorb, it's going to take advantage of this situation. The first thing it's gonna do is, it's gonna take more attacks later, but it's gonna move, because it's no longer being restrained. It gets its speed back. I'm gonna need a Strength saving throw from the driver.

0:13:32 Murph: [grimaces] Eugh…

0:13:39 Siobhan: Strength?

0:13:39 Ally: You get advantage.

0:13:41 Murph: I have a minus two.

0:13:42 Ally: And it's a saving throw, so you get Bless.

0:13:44 Murph: Okay, all right. (dice rolling)

0:13:49 Lou: [gasps excitedly] I just thought if I acted excited, it would be good.

0:13:51 Murph: Only a 13.

0:13:52 Brennan: Okay, this is still grappled, so its speed is halved, but it's basically like, you've reeled in a big fish and now the big fish is pulling the boat, right?

0:14:03 Murph: Okay.

0:14:04 Brennan: It's gonna go-

0:14:06 Ally: What?

0:14:08 Zac: Naur!

0:14:08 Siobhan: Naur!

0:14:09 Ally: Are you sure? [Emily laughing]

0:14:12 Brennan: So, you are all dragged behind. Also, Gorgug and Fig, once again give me some saving throws to catch Adaine.

0:14:19 Emily: Okay. Dex save.

0:14:19 Zac: Okay, what kind is it?

0:14:21 Emily: Dex save.

0:14:22 Zac: Dex?

0:14:22 Lou: And you have-

0:14:23 Ally: You have advantage.

0:14:23 Lou: Gorgug's got that ADV.

0:14:25 Emily: Oh! I got a 22! And I didn't even add my Bless.

0:14:30 Zac: I got a 14.

0:14:32 Emily: I got a 22 plus 4, 26.

0:14:34 Brennan: 26, okay. Adaine is once again grabbed by her friends. Boom!

0:14:38 Fig: Not today, friend.

0:14:39 Brennan: As you guys are moving, I need to tell you, this thing is five feet above you. So you're getting hit in the head as you move, by this massive fucking monstrosity overhead, grab Adaine. It's actually even a little bit further on the board than is indicated right here. Its next movement, if it is allowed to move, it will clear it to the portal, okay?

0:15:01 Siobhan: So we've got to do this.

0:15:02 Brennan: You basically have one round. You have before it takes its movement. It's gonna take its next two attacks. It's gonna take a wing attack on Fig and Gorgug.

0:15:09 Lou: If I'm in the passenger seat, is Fig within five feet of me?

0:15:12 Brennan: Yeah.

0:15:12 Lou: I'll use my reaction to use Protection to impose a disadvantage.

0:15:16 Emily: Oh, that's huge!

0:15:16 Brennan: Hell yeah, hell yeah.

0:15:19 Emily: Huge.

0:15:20 Brennan: Wing is still gonna be a hit.

0:15:24 Emily: I really need to not get hit. I'm gonna Luck point it.

0:15:26 Brennan: Okay, gotcha.

0:15:26 Emily: Just got to try.

0:15:28 Brennan: Okay, you're gonna do Luck point. It's gonna reroll. It hits, succeeds.

0:15:32 Emily: Okay.

0:15:33 Siobhan: What is it rolling with?

0:15:35 Brennan: Well, it's just got these huge, it's got plus 12s and plus 14s to its attacks. It's just a giant monster, you know? It's rolling disadvantage on so much stuff. Fig, you take 6 plus 8, you take 14 points of damage.

0:15:47 Emily: Okay, so it also takes, because I have the Armor of Ayda, it takes 15 points of fire damage.

0:15:53 Brennan: It takes 15 points of fire damage.

0:15:54 Emily: And I still have my temp HP, so if it hits me again, it will take that again.

0:15:58 Brennan: I will also say this. It's been halving so much damage, but because you've got it within the headlights of the Hangvan, you pulled it in, it is not going to halve that fire damage. It takes the full 15.

0:16:09 Fig: [flexes] My girlfriend says hello!

0:16:13 Brennan: Phoenix fire surrounds you and singes this thing as it strikes you. Go ahead and give me that Concentration.

0:16:18 Emily: [cheers] We got it, baby! [rock music plays]

0:16:18 Ally: That's right, that's right!

0:16:20 Emily: Nat 20 on my Concentration.

0:16:20 Brennan: Let's go.

0:16:22 El: Because of my Eldritch Mind advantage!

0:16:25 Brennan: Bam, getting slapped with one of this thing's wings, you keep that-

0:16:28 Fig: I've never been more focused.

0:16:32 Brennan: Hell yes, and then Gorgug is gonna get a wing attack. That is gonna hit Gorgug for 10 bludgeoning damage.

0:16:42 Zac: So halved to five?

0:16:42 Brennan: Halved to five. [rock music fades] You take a giant manta ray wing across the face, no problem.

0:16:47 Gorgug: Ow!

0:16:47 Fig: It's kinda wet, right?

0:16:49 Gorgug: Yeah, it's so wet. It seems like ice cold water. [western music plays] Siobhan passes Duggan’s mini to Brennan.

0:16:55 Emily: Duggan, what do you have up your sleeve?

0:16:57 Siobhan: Duggan, you son of a bitch.

0:16:57 Emily: Duggan!

0:16:59 Riz: Duggan, you're late again, buddy.

0:17:01 Duggan: [slurring] You tell me I'm late again, I'll tell you to go sit on a whiskey bottle, you punk bitch.

0:17:08 Murph: Oh god!

0:17:08 Lou: Duggan!

0:17:10 Murph: I miss Balthazar. Does anyone else miss Balthazar?

0:17:14 Zac: He's drinking a lot.

0:17:14 Siobhan: I feel like we need an intervention for Duggan right after this.

0:17:18 Lou: We all agreed once the Night Yorb adventure was done-

0:17:19 Murph: When Balthazar's here, they kinda play off each other.

0:17:22 Ally: Yeah, exactly.

0:17:23 Murph: When it's just Duggan, it's just sad.

0:17:23 Ally: It's dark.

0:17:25 Duggan: I wouldn't pay you to lick the dust off my dick.

0:17:30 Lou: Holy shit.

0:17:30 Emily: [cackles] Duggan!

0:17:31 Duggan: [wails mournfully] Balthazar!

0:17:36 Brennan: He's gonna fire wildly at the Night Yorb, screaming Balthazar's name.

0:17:39 Zac: You shoot six, and you shoot six more!

0:17:42 Brennan: Here we go. What's up, Duggan? Okay.

0:17:46 Emily: What's chuggin', Duggan?

0:17:46 Ally: What's chuggin', Duggan?

0:17:49 Emily: What's chuggin', Duggan?

0:17:49 Ally: [mimicking Duggan] Fuck you.

0:17:52 Brennan: Okay, okay, he's gonna hit the Night Yorb a couple times. Not bad, Duggan. Duggan deals 20 damage to the Night Yorb.

0:17:59 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:17:59 Siobhan: Nice, Duggan.

0:18:01 Lou: Go off, Duggan.

0:18:02 Brennan: Yeah, Duggan's just charging forward, weeping, just stumbling on his four legs. [western music fades]

0:18:08 Siobhan: Those legs!

0:18:08 Brennan: We're gonna jump back to the top with Riz Gukgak.

0:18:11 Emily: Come on!

0:18:11 Siobhan: Fuck 'em up, Riz.

0:18:13 Murph: Okay, okay. Should I try to stop us, or should I try to just shoot the Night Yorb?

0:18:22 Siobhan: Yeah, we can't brake, but maybe we can turn.

0:18:25 Zac: Yeah.

0:18:25 Siobhan: Right?

0:18:26 Zac: But it's your actual turn.

0:18:28 Murph: It is my actual turn, but I do have... So, I have grappling canisters for my gun.

0:18:35 Brennan: You sure do.

0:18:37 Murph: Normally, the way that I would use that is like Batman, to kinda fly towards something. Is there any way I could shoot it at this and try to tie it to the van?

0:18:45 Lou: Yes!

0:18:48 Siobhan: Cool.

0:18:48 Emily: This is hot.

0:18:49 Brennan: I'm going to allow you to, you can use that as an action, and if you want to, as a bonus action, make a Sleight of Hand check to tie it to the van-

0:18:56 Murph: I will definitely do that.

0:18:57 Brennan: Okay, go ahead and give me an attack. Attack is simple. It's just an AC 15 on that rock.

0:19:01 Murph: Okay. It's fine, just got to get 5 or higher. I got it. I got a 2. I was gonna say it's cocked, but it's mostly not cocked.

0:19:13 Ally: What about Bless?

0:19:15 Emily: Bless might help, if you got a 4 or a 3. A 3 or a 4.

0:19:20 Murph: Do we got those beans? You got the beans? [intense orchestral music plays]

0:19:22 Zac: Please don't use the beans.

0:19:22 Brennan: 3 or 4. It's 50/50.

0:19:24 Murph: The beans are due, god.

0:19:27 Brennan: [incredulous] They're due?

0:19:27 Murph: Guys, the beans are due!

0:19:29 Brennan: They're due? I don't think, statistically- That's gambler's fallacy, almost!

0:19:31 Zac: The beans are unlucky.

0:19:34 Brennan: That's a perfect example of gambler's fallacy.

0:19:36 Murph: Everyone's gonna be really sorry when these beans turn up 3! [intense orchestral music cuts]

0:19:38 Brennan: 4!

0:19:41 Murph: That's a 4!

0:19:43 Lou: They're due!

0:19:43 Emily: The beans are due!

0:19:45 Zac: The beans are due!

0:19:45 Siobhan: Beans, beans, beans, beans!

0:19:48 Brennan: Okay, you're gonna give me a bonus action Sleight of Hand, which is gonna become the new Strength check for the Hangvan, essentially.

0:19:59 Murph: [sharp intake of breath, covering his face with his hands] It was on a nat 20 for a second, and then it switched to the 2.

0:20:01 Siobhan: [groans] Brutal.

0:20:03 Zac: So it's like you attached it, but it's not-

0:20:05 Murph: But it's just weak.

0:20:06 Siobhan: You just tied a really shitty knot.

0:20:08 Murph: I tied a shitty knot.

0:20:08 Zac: Okay.

0:20:10 Brennan: What's the DC on it?

0:20:10 Murph: [sheepishly] Seven.

0:20:13 Brennan: Okay, you fire it, get it around the thing, tie it around the steering wheel of the Hangvan. It's still gassing it. That is Fabian Aramais Seacaster.

0:20:22 Lou: Now, with regard to what we're hoping to do with the sealing, how is it gonna look? What is the setup for that as we have come to understand it?

0:20:33 Brennan: So here's the issue. Right now, you only have two people that have set up for the round as sigilists, which is Adaine and Fig.

0:20:40 Emily: That's me.

0:20:40 Siobhan: And I'm down.

0:20:41 Emily: I'm gonna be doing a Performance check against his Athletics, which it currently still has disadvantage on.

0:20:47 Brennan: So if you wanted to-

0:20:47 Siobhan: And I can give you Boggy.

0:20:49 Brennan: On the car action, if you wanted to get up and be a third sigilist just in case, you could do that.

0:20:54 Lou: Yes, I'm coming up. I'm coming up!

0:20:58 Murph: I was gonna say, is there any way Fabian can reinforce the fuck-up I just did? Essentially, do we have a bad knot on the van that he could fix?

0:21:07 Brennan: You do have a bad knot on the van. I'm gonna say something else here right now, which is just to remind us of the initiative order.

0:21:13 Lou: The Yorbies are going next, and their bonus action is screaming its name, so I wanna smack it, but I think also be ready to be a sigilist.

0:21:20 Emily: That's great, that's great.

0:21:20 Lou: So I'm coming up.

0:21:22 Brennan: Hell yeah.

0:21:23 Zac: It's five feet away.

0:21:23 Emily: Fabian's coming up!

0:21:24 Brennan: Yes, so you're gonna try to wound it so badly that even when they all do it, they can't-

0:21:28 Siobhan: Oh, yes.

0:21:28 Fabian: Ecaf, you stay here. I don't want you in danger. Beauty like yours needs to be protected.

0:21:38 Ecaf: [exasperated] Master Sea... It's go time. Let's go.

0:21:39 Fabian: It's go time.

0:21:40 Ecaf: Yeah, it's go time.

0:21:40 Fabian: All right.

0:21:41 Ecaf: You're gonna do it. You're gonna do great.

0:21:43 Fabian: Is it... I shouldn't. No. I just thought, maybe I'd just steal... No.

0:21:50 Ally: Oh god!

0:21:52 Riz: Kristen, please. Please, give me your EarPods, please.

0:21:55 Ecaf: There will be plenty of time for that after we defeat the Night Yorb! Shit!

0:21:58 Brennan: Sorry, she said it.

0:22:00 Lou: No!

0:22:00 Emily: No! That shouldn't count!

0:22:01 Zac: No, you're not allowed to do that when your NPCs say it!

0:22:03 Lou: Don't yell at her! Don't yell at her, she's perfect!

0:22:06 Brennan: [teasing] Sorry, there's nothing I can do. It's the rules.

0:22:09 Ally: I punch the mirror.

0:22:11 Lou: I punch you!

0:22:13 Zac: Your turn is punching Kristen.

0:22:15 Lou: I attack Kristen twice. No—

0:22:17 Brennan: All right, give me the Acrobatics, DC 15, to get on the roof.

0:22:20 Ally: We each have one EarPod in and we're plugging the other ear to not have to hear this. Lou rolls his die. Ally gasps while Lou stares at the dice tray looking shell shocked.

0:22:26 Siobhan: No!

0:22:30 Murph: [laughing] No! Dude!

0:22:33 Ally: I can't believe he got a nat 20.

0:22:35 Murph: What are you doing?

0:22:38 Lou: I'm gonna throw up.

0:22:38 Ally: Yeah.

0:22:41 Emily: No, no, no.

0:22:41 Brennan: Okay, okay. That's okay. What was that? Was that a nat 1?

0:22:46 Siobhan: Yes.

0:22:48 Brennan: Okay.

0:22:48 Emily: Don't you reroll them, though, because you're Lou?

0:22:51 Siobhan: Oh yeah!

0:22:51 Lou: I think that's a feat. That's a feat I took in life.

0:22:55 Murph: Lou point?

0:22:55 Lou: Yeah, can I use a Lou point?

0:22:58 Siobhan: Infinite Lou points.

0:22:58 Lou: Oh my god!

0:23:00 Siobhan: For being your best friend!

0:23:02 Brennan: I'm gonna need a Dexterity saving throw.

0:23:04 Zac: It's a home-Lou.

0:23:04 Lou: It's a home-Lou! There it is! I knew we'd find it, wow.

0:23:10 Ally: Don't use that one.

0:23:10 Siobhan: Don't use that one!

0:23:11 Lou: [while rolling dice] The other one is... [sighs dejectedly] Ally takes Lou’s die and throws it across the dome.

0:23:15 Lou: No!

0:23:17 Murph: Did he just get a nat 1 again?

0:23:18 Lou: No.

0:23:18 Ally: It was a five.

0:23:18 Siobhan: It was a five.

0:23:20 Murph: Okay.

0:23:20 Lou: It was a five. Do I get Bless on this?

0:23:22 Brennan: You do get Bless on this.

0:23:22 Ally: No!

0:23:23 Lou: Great, so 9, 14.

0:23:27 Brennan: Wait, 14?

0:23:27 Lou: 14. Don't look at... Don't do that! That's your "I'm sorry I have to do this" face! [somber instrumental plays]

0:23:34 Emily: Oh my god!

0:23:35 Brennan: You know, I'm always rooting for you.

0:23:37 Lou: Yeah, I know!

0:23:37 Brennan: I'm always rooting for you.

0:23:39 Siobhan: Don't cry!

0:23:39 Emily: Because you make your NPCs say the Night Yorb every single other word.

0:23:44 Brennan: I have to abide by the rules of the things I choose to do.

0:23:48 Lou: Well, the Hangman is behind the van for whatever you choose to do.

0:23:53 Brennan: Murph, I'm gonna need you to roll 5d10.

0:23:56 Lou: Oh my god!

0:23:56 Siobhan: No!

0:23:56 Ally: You're gonna make Murph do it?

0:23:58 Murph: Oh no!

0:23:58 Siobhan: You're gonna make Murph do it?

0:23:59 Brennan: Murph's driving.

0:24:00 Murph: Okay, I'm back to myself this episode, gang. Don't worry.

0:24:03 Lou: Murph, don't you-

0:24:04 Murph: Except for the beans, that were due!

0:24:05 Lou: Don't break any probabilities this time.

0:24:08 Murph: [raising his dice] Here's beans, the beans are due, so these beans stay in the can.

0:24:12 Brennan: That last damage roll was .002 probability.

0:24:15 Lou: No more probability smashing, all right?

0:24:16 Murph: No more probability smashing.

0:24:19 Lou: Or break it in the other way.

0:24:20 Murph: Just regular cursed rolls.

0:24:20 Lou: All of them are ones.

0:24:25 Murph: Pretty cursed, okay. [rock music plays]

0:24:26 Ally: Nice.

0:24:26 Murph: Okay, so we got two 2s, a 3, a 7, and an 8, so total is 15, 18, 20, 22.

0:24:36 Brennan: Fabian, you take 22 points of damage. Please put your mini prone-

0:24:43 Murph: [with his head in his hands] You have to stay in the van. You have to stay in the van.

0:24:45 Lou: I was trying to!

0:24:49 Murph: You have to wear your seatbelt, Fabian.

0:24:51 Brennan: Fabian has jumped and gone under the Hangvan twice. [rock music fades]

0:24:56 Murph: You have to wear your seatbelt.

0:24:58 Zac: In, what, two turns?

0:25:00 Siobhan: Yes!

0:25:00 Brennan: In, like, two rounds.

0:25:01 Lou: Two thirds of my turns have been underneath - have started underneath this van.

0:25:08 Siobhan: All you had to do was roll a two both times.

0:25:10 Lou: That's it. All I had to do was roll a two. If I roll a two, it happens.

0:25:14 Brennan: Can I just say, for anyone watching at home, don't jump out of moving vehicles, because even if you're so agile, the risk reward-

0:25:22 Murph: So agile.

0:25:22 Brennan: So agile!

0:25:24 Lou: I was climbing! All right, well, the Hangman scoops me up again. Can I make a check to grab onto the Hangman?

0:25:32 Brennan: Give me another DC 15 Acrobatics.

0:25:33 Lou: [sheepishly] Don't do this to me. You're embarrassing me on this show.

0:25:40 Brennan: If you roll a nat one, this is gonna be worse than Cody's turn in Unsleeping City.

0:25:44 Lou: I've already lost one dice, all right? (die rolling) Okay, that's a 25.

0:25:50 Brennan: You scoop up onto the Hangman.

0:25:53 Adaine: Damn, Fabian, that looks so cool, again!

0:25:55 Gorgug: That was awesome.

0:25:55 Fabian: [nursing his wounds] Yeah! Yeah, it was awesome!

0:26:00 Adaine: I kind of feel like you're showboating.

0:26:01 Riz: You're bleeding a lot, though.

0:26:03 Fabian: No, that's... [stammering] I fucked up.

0:26:07 Gorgug: You're gonna have to explain why you do that to me later.

0:26:10 Fabian: Yeah, sure.

0:26:11 Brennan: Okay, action and bonus action from Fabian.

0:26:16 Lou: [sighs] I don't-

0:26:16 Siobhan: Do you have a gun?

0:26:17 Lou: Yeah, I have a hand crossbow.

0:26:21 Ally: Shoot it!

0:26:21 Emily: Don't you have spells?

0:26:23 Lou: I do have spells. I don't think they'll… [sighs]

0:26:30 Ally: [rubbing Lou’s shoulders, consoling] It's okay, man. It's okay.

0:26:30 Lou: No, it'll be— that's gonna be all…

0:26:34 Brennan: It's gonna all be okay.

0:26:35 Lou: I'm gonna redeem myself. The eye I still have— I'm gonna shoot it twice with my hand crossbow.

0:26:43 Brennan: Here we go!

0:26:44 Emily: Yeah, okay!

0:26:44 Lou: Let's do that.

0:26:46 Emily: I love this.

0:26:46 Zac: Fully red-faced. Covered in blood.

0:26:48 Lou: Yeah, exactly. Ah, shit. Just moving blood out of...

0:26:50 Fabian: [wiping his face with one hand] All right, I just need one! Just one!

0:26:54 Lou: Okay, that's an 18.

0:26:59 Brennan: 18. Did you add Bless?

0:27:02 Lou: That means I need to add Bless! 19?

0:27:06 Brennan: 19 hits. [players cheering]

0:27:09 Siobhan: All right!

0:27:09 Lou: Good! That is 7 points of damage that I'm sure you'll halve or quarter for some reason, because this thing has multiple attacks. And then a 14—

0:27:30 Brennan: I know you can't, you know, it's fun to yell at me because you can't yell at your own dice, and I get it. I do get it. I get it.

0:27:37 Lou: And then another 10 points of damage for you to third or whatever you wanna do. I'm hurting! The mirror doesn't wanna kiss me, I keep falling out of... (laughing)

0:27:50 Brennan: Twang, twang! Both bolts connect with the Night Yorb, dealing damage. The Night Yorb [Brennan screeches as the Night Yorb] screams out. Anyone in the van or within, not Fabian, but I'm gonna need everybody to give me a Dexterity saving throw.

0:28:05 Siobhan: What about me?

0:28:07 Brennan: You are going to take a death save failure.

0:28:09 Siobhan: Great.

0:28:09 Emily: Is this a magical effect?

0:28:12 Brennan: No.

0:28:12 Emily: Okay.

0:28:13 Murph: I crit.

0:28:13 Brennan: Okay, amazing. You crit.

0:28:15 Zac: 15.

0:28:15 Emily: 15 as well.

0:28:18 Brennan: 15 for Gorgug, 15 for Fig, okay. What'd you get?

0:28:21 Ally: [whispers] 2.

0:28:23 Brennan: Okay, so Riz, you succeed.

0:28:23 Murph: Yeah.

0:28:26 Brennan: Is there anyone else in the... Ecaf is also in the van.

0:28:30 Ally: Oh yeah, I'll roll for her.

0:28:30 Emily: Oh my god!

0:28:34 Ally: That was pretty good.

0:28:35 Brennan: Okay, you rolled a 10 on the die?

0:28:36 Ally: Yeah.

0:28:37 Brennan: Is there anyone else in the van? [pointing to Emily] Roll for Baby.

0:28:41 Emily: Okay.

0:28:41 Siobhan: I'll roll for Boggy as well.

0:28:43 Emily: Baby got a 5.

0:28:43 Brennan: Okay.

0:28:47 Fig: Baby, are you okay down there?

0:28:49 Siobhan: 15. [intense guitar music plays]

0:28:50 Brennan: Okay, so the Night Yorb, sensing radiant, sensing that its health is going down, fully just (screeches) And sensing that it's been pinned, picks up sand and dirt and grit with its wings, does a windstorm attack. Riz, you are fully unaffected. You hide under the wheel well, stay in control of the vehicle, the knot is still there. Everybody else is going to take a fair amount of damage, and also, I'm gonna need follow-up Dex saves for anyone on the roof, so Fig and Gorgug. [intense instrumental plays]

0:29:29 Emily: [whispers] Okay.

0:29:30 Zac: Is wind damage a specific-

0:29:33 Brennan: It's bludgeoning, so you're gonna take half. I'll tell everybody now, everyone except Riz is gonna take 13 points of bludgeoning damage.

0:29:41 Zac: Is that halved to 6 or 7?

0:29:43 Brennan: That would be halved to 6 for you.

0:29:44 Siobhan: Okay, Boggy is down.

0:29:46 Emily: [snaps] I keep my Concentration.

0:29:48 Brennan: Hell yeah. I'm gonna need Concentration from Kristen for Circle of Power. Ally rolls their die. Ally facepalms while Murph leans back, bringing both hands to his face.

0:29:55 Zac: 18 on my follow-up Dex save.

0:29:58 Brennan: 18 on the follow-up Dex save. What was your follow-up?

0:29:59 Emily: Follow-up Dex save. Nat 1.

0:30:03 Brennan: Okay. So Fig—

0:30:07 Emily: Oof.

0:30:07 Ally: Who just got a nat 1?

0:30:09 Emily: I just got a nat 1.

0:30:09 Ally: I just got a nat 1, too.

0:30:11 Emily: You know, the ones that crit for you also give you nat 1s, and so you've got to take your ones with your 20s.

0:30:16 Brennan: Fig is thrown. [pointing to Zac] You are not thrown, but you do take damage. So 13 damage, but you hold Concentration. Circle of Power is now gone. [tense instrumental fades]

0:30:25 Ally: Did I specify which was the teddy bear and which was me?

0:30:30 Brennan: I don't think you did.

0:30:31 Ally: 'Cause Bless and Circle of Power are—

0:30:34 Brennan: So, you actually have to roll Concentration for both, though.

0:30:37 Ally: Oh, for the teddy bear too?

0:30:38 Brennan: For the teddy bear, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gives you basically another channel. What was that?

0:30:43 Ally: What's that?

0:30:43 Brennan: What'd you get?

0:30:44 Ally: It's a 6 on the die, but what do I add to it?

0:30:46 Brennan: Constitution save. Con save.

0:30:48 Emily: Doesn't it feel like our dice are shitting on us?

0:30:50 Murph: [laughing at Ally’s character sheet] You don't have it written down!

0:30:52 Ally: Yes I do, yes I do!

0:30:52 Murph: No, you don't.

0:30:54 Ally: It's all the same right here.

0:30:55 Murph: No, but you add proficiencies!

0:30:55 Siobhan: No, it's not, it's not! Oh my god, I thought you read the book!

0:30:59 Ally: I did read the book!

0:30:59 Siobhan: You add proficiencies.

0:31:02 Ally: I was rushed!

0:31:03 Murph: Their saving throws are empty.

0:31:05 Brennan: Circle of Power and Bless are both gone.

0:31:07 Murph: [laughing] They're empty!

0:31:07 Brennan: Kristen—

0:31:09 Ally: If you wanna be helpful, bro, if you wanna be helpful, you would open up D&D Beyond or my brand new book right now and tell me what these numbers are.

0:31:18 Murph: I don't know what proficiencies you have!

0:31:19 Ally: We're a party!

0:31:22 Brennan: So, Bless and Circle of Power are both gone. Adaine has one death save fail and is going to auto off of the Hangvan. Both of your sigilists have been knocked off the Hangvan. Gorgug has stayed on the solar lasso. As you are there, you take that damage, Ecaf shatters.

0:31:47 Siobhan: Nobody tell him! Nobody tell him!

0:31:49 Ally: I just look at it and I go... [shudders]

0:31:51 Brennan: Boggy goes,

0:31:51 Boggy: [ribbits]

0:31:51 Brennan: And disappears into spell energy, and Baby goes,

0:31:56 Baby: I'm going to go straight to Hell!

0:32:01 Brennan: And blows up.

0:32:01 Fig: Baby!

0:32:03 Brennan: Baby goes back to the Bottomless Pit. That is the legendary action. That is now going to be the Yorbies. [players groaning]

0:32:16 Murph: No!

0:32:18 Siobhan: Can I roll a nat 20, and everything just goes away?

0:32:21 Murph: Can we start over?

0:32:21 Siobhan: We just start junior year. We wake up from the terrible nightmare that Adaine was having.

0:32:27 Murph: Do you think Fabian knows—Fabian knows in his heart, do you think?

0:32:30 Lou: No. Well, I think probably, but I'm too busy keeping the blood out of my eyes from when you ran me over.

0:32:38 Brennan: All of the Yorbies chant, the Night Yorb, and the Night Yorb goes above bloodied. Things are looking dire indeed. That is, now the Yorbies are gonna take their actions. Fabian, all of those ones behind you are gonna catch up to you. Luckily, these guys are chasing you, so their mounts are taking double moves.

0:33:01 Lou: Great.

0:33:02 Brennan: The Yathmags are not gonna be able to do their mouth thing, the ants are not gonna be able to do other shit like that, but the Yorbies are all gonna get to attack. One of them uses the battle cry, saying,

0:33:12 Yorbie: The Night Yorb defends us!

0:33:14 Brennan: And the rest are gonna come for you. [while rolling dice] That's a miss. Miss. Miss.

0:33:18 Lou: [wincing noise]

0:33:23 Zac: Look at me. Just look at me.

0:33:25 Brennan: Hit.

0:33:26 Zac: No, it's okay!

0:33:28 Brennan: Crit.

0:33:30 Zac: Don't look at me!

0:33:32 Lou: [frantically] Who do I look at?

0:33:34 Zac: Look somewhere else! I don't know!

0:33:37 Lou: [turning to Emily] Save me!

0:33:37 Emily: Stay with me! Stay with me!

0:33:39 Brennan: The normal hit deals 11 points of damage to you, Fabian. The next one's gonna do a bit more than that.

0:33:50 Lou: I'm down.

0:33:50 Brennan: Fabian is down. And Fig is now down, you're just prone, correct? Or no, you're down.

0:33:58 Emily: I mean, you don't think that I might've landed in a three point stance?

0:34:02 Siobhan: I mean, Fig's really cool.

0:34:02 Brennan: I don't think you did.

0:34:05 Emily: You don't think that I do stage jumps where I jump into the crowd, so actually I have experience?

0:34:09 Brennan: Does she have tons of experience? The Hangman is gonna make a Dexterity save, rolls a nat 15, and is gonna keep you in the saddle, driving forward. This guy's gonna run up on here. He's gonna make an Acrobatics check to get on the roof, plus 4. [rolls dice] 16 does it. He is going to rush up on here-

0:34:33 Emily: Oh, and do the sigil for us.

0:34:33 Brennan: And do the sigil for you.

0:34:36 Siobhan: He's been a spy this whole time! It's Riz's dad!

0:34:40 Brennan: [moves minis] This guy's gonna rush up.

0:34:41 Zac: Probably gonna hit the drunk centaur, right?

0:34:46 Brennan: He's gonna use his action to give all these dudes advantage, so he's like, "Yes! We defeat them now!" This guy's gonna take two attacks at the solar lasso. [players groan]

0:34:56 Zac: Don't do that! Don't do that!

0:35:00 Siobhan: Oh my god, what if we lose on our first time fighting this season?

0:35:06 Emily: I miss the Circle of Power.

0:35:06 Brennan: He hits one time. The solar lasso has a damage threshold of 10, but it only has 30 hit points. It's not possible for him to destroy it in just one hit, but he does pass the damage threshold. The solar lasso takes 18 points of damage.

0:35:27 Zac: So it has 12 health.

0:35:28 Brennan: It has 12 health left, as he slashes into it. These ballista are going to fire. They're gonna fire at the Hangvan. Okay. That is a nat 20 on one of the ballista.

0:35:39 Ally: What?

0:35:42 Siobhan: Why are you rolling so many crits?

0:35:43 Brennan: I don't know.

0:35:44 Siobhan: It's too many!

0:35:44 Brennan: The other one hits.

0:35:47 Siobhan: Murph, go touch his dice. Lick your fingers a little bit.

0:35:55 Emily: Guys, if our adventure is going into this portal, and that's the next season, I'll fucking do it. For you guys, I'll do it.

0:36:03 Siobhan: Sometimes you've just got to get sucked into space with your best friends.

0:36:05 Brennan: The Hangvan takes 25 points of damage. It is at 34 hit points. Boom! The next ballista bolt comes for it, but I'm gonna roll something. It got a 20, which is exactly what it needed. Duggan McCann uses his reaction Countershot and shoots the ballista bolt out of the air. [western music plays]

0:36:25 Gorgug: Pure instinct, baby!

0:36:27 Duggan: [wailing] Balthazar!

0:36:27 Gorgug: I know!

0:36:31 Brennan: And then these guys, it's disadvantage for all of them to attempt to hit, so we're just gonna roll disadvantage. [while rolling dice] Miss. Miss. Hit. Miss. Miss. Miss. Hangvan takes five more points of damage. It is at 29 hit points.

0:36:53 Siobhan: Five is below the damage threshold.

0:36:55 Brennan: It does not take those. Thank you for keeping me honest. Good call, good call. Incredible. That is the Yorbies' turn.

0:37:06 Zac: What hell!

0:37:06 Brennan: What hell.

0:37:08 Siobhan: Truly awful.

0:37:08 Brennan: Truly awful.

0:37:11 Siobhan: I'm dead in a ditch.

0:37:12 Brennan: I'm dead in a fucking ditch. It is car action once again. It is lair action. Sigilists are on the ground, but I will say, if the sigilists could be returned to the top of the van—

0:37:26 Emily: Oh, someone could grab me?

0:37:28 Brennan: If someone can grab them and get them back up there.

0:37:30 Emily: Instead of gunning, you could just—

0:37:32 Zac: Grab you, but—

0:37:34 Brennan: But I think the first thing we have to do is, I think if it's still gassing it, if the van is still gassing it, that means that it's gonna have to interact with the grappling. Because it's moving against the grappling gun as well, just like the Night Yorb is, right?

0:37:47 Murph: Right.

0:37:49 Brennan: So Riz, I'm gonna kick it over to the driver first. If there's any way on this car action that you can find some way to—

0:37:56 Emily: [whispering] Swerve.

0:37:56 Murph: Is there anything... Yeah, I might just do a hard turn.

0:38:00 Brennan: Okay.

0:38:00 Murph: I may just do a hard turn. The other option is, is there anything to be done to get rid of the mishap so that we can potentially hit the brakes?

0:38:10 Brennan: Hit the brakes? Yes, potentially. But the issue is, I don't think you could use the car action to fix it and then hit the brakes.

0:38:19 Zac: Can we delay the car action, or no? This is the turn?

0:38:22 Siobhan: Yeah, I mean, if Fig could go before the Hangvan so she could Dimension Door up there and then do it-

0:38:28 Brennan: That's true, that is true.

0:38:28 Siobhan: That would be good for us.

0:38:30 Brennan: You want the car to go after?

0:38:32 Zac: I'd almost like to try to take my regular turn. I don't know if that delays us too much. I don't know if that makes any-

0:38:38 Brennan: You know what, it's actually such a complicated rules interaction, let's just leave it up to a Luck check. I'll say car action, we'll send it five points down the initiative order if it's an 11 or higher. [rolls dice] Eight. All right, car action has to happen now.

0:38:53 Murph: I think we have no choice but for me to take a hard turn and make a Dex save not to flip.

0:39:00 Brennan: Okay.

0:39:01 Emily: I think if anyone can grab my body and throw it on the sigil-

0:39:03 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:39:06 Zac: Can we do that kind of interaction right now?

0:39:08 Siobhan: Can somebody reach out the window and grab-

0:39:10 Ally: Well, what if I did a slam attack with the door, but it wasn't at anyone, so I just slammed into the door, it opened, and I could try to grab Fig?

0:39:18 Brennan: I would allow you to make a slam attack... So, okay, here's the thing. First thing we're gonna do is this. The car can only gas it, but you're gonna try to take a hard turn to flip it, or to get it off the wheels, essentially, right?

0:39:33 Murph: Yeah. I think ideally, I'd basically like to spin the wheel to not hit Adaine but have it kinda drift over this way and just get out of Dodge.

0:39:42 Brennan: For this one, I'm gonna ask for an Acrobatics check to just pull an e-brake turn. What's your Acrobatics?

0:39:50 Murph: It's plus five.

0:39:51 Brennan: Plus five.

0:39:51 Murph: It's worse than my Dex save.

0:39:52 Brennan: Worse than your Dex save, gotcha. So, I'll say this. You can hard turn automatically. If you can hit a DC 20 Acrobatics, I'll let you do a Tokyo Drift e-brake turn. We will revisit history with Fig's Johnny Spells thing, and you can, in place, U-ey the van to be gassing it in the other direction.

0:40:12 Murph: Okay, so I just need to get a 15 or higher.

0:40:14 Brennan: Mm-hmm.

0:40:15 Emily: I have no reactions to support you.

0:40:17 Lou: That feels so doable.

0:40:17 Murph: It's so doable.

0:40:18 Emily: I'm so sorry.

0:40:18 Murph: I'm gonna do it.

0:40:19 Brennan: Let's Box of Doom it. This is Box of Doom. If you hit a 15 or higher on this, we see some magic happen, and you get the van gassing it in the other direction.

0:40:30 Murph: Okay, ready. 6.

0:40:34 Brennan: 6, okay. Now- [tense music fades]

0:40:37 Murph: So, 11.

0:40:38 Zac: Just to clarify, it's not bloodied right now, right?

0:40:41 Emily: Is it bloodied or not?

0:40:41 Brennan: It is not bloodied. It's badly, badly injured, but it's not bloodied right now.

0:40:45 Emily: So there's no point to even trying to work the sigil right now, anyways.

0:40:47 Siobhan: Well, if it's only five feet away from us, maybe Kristen's door attack would technically hit it.

0:40:53 Brennan: It's quite close to bloodied, if you wanted to try to slam a door into it.

0:40:55 Ally: Yes, yes.

0:40:57 Brennan: Let me say this. You still did the hard turn maneuver, so there's still, you have to make a Dex save for the car not to flip. Now, as your friend and someone who's played a lot of D&D with you, I'm just going to say that the car flipping would be very bad. It would deal damage to everybody within the Hangvan, and it would prevent the Hangvan from moving.

0:41:23 Emily: Wouldn't it also damage the Night Yorb because it's on top of the car?

0:41:27 Brennan: Quite possibly.

0:41:29 Siobhan: And it would stop the van from moving, which is attached to the-

0:41:31 Brennan: Night Yorb.

0:41:33 Siobhan: Maybe it's not the worst thing.

0:41:35 Murph: Yeah.

0:41:35 Siobhan: Except for the damage. And also the van. Your parents' beautiful van.

0:41:43 Emily: I'm saying, just hot water—

0:41:45 Murph: I think the Hangvan's rolling Dex saves with disadvantage, right?

0:41:48 Brennan: Yes, it's rolling Dex saves with disadvantage. That's correct. I will also point out, though, that you are always allowed to choose to fail a saving throw in D&D.

0:42:00 Murph: You just opened up my mind. Do I wanna just—

0:42:04 Emily: Flip it.

0:42:04 Siobhan: Take the damage? You haven't been hurt, really.

0:42:06 Emily: Flip it, because then that will hurt the Night Yorb.

0:42:09 Murph: Can I just crash into these dudes? Just freaking ramp it over onto the ballista over here? Right? Is that insane?

0:42:17 Zac: I mean—

0:42:20 Murph: Or should I try to—

0:42:20 Brennan: You don't have the slack. If you pull a hard turn, you're just gonna put the van on its side and send the Night Yorb faceplanting into the dust.

0:42:30 Murph: Okay, you know what? Then why don't we try to... We'll try to stay up for now, and if I fail, that's not necessarily the worst thing in the world. It'll be harder for us— It'll be harder for him to get away.

0:42:42 Brennan: Okay.

0:42:44 Murph: Okay, so I'll try to keep it up. With disadvantage, 20.

0:42:52 Brennan: Okay, so you succeed, so you can keep the van up if you want. You make a hard turn, you can keep the van up if you want, but fundamentally, it's gonna be basically an opposed Strength, and the best you could sort of do at the turn you're making- 'Cause you didn't do a full U-ey, so the best you could do is kind of move it orbitally around... It wouldn't move farther away from the portal.

0:43:15 Siobhan: I have a question.

0:43:15 Brennan: Yeah.

0:43:16 Siobhan: If the van is then on its side, could somebody then more easily get to the sigil because it's not on the top of the van, it's then along the side of the van? Brennan raises his hands to his chin, demurely.

0:43:25 Brennan: Now, that's sort of interesting, and I think that's how that works. I think if you were to put the van on its side, you could put the sigil right next to somebody.

0:43:33 Murph: Okay. Let's flip this thing.

0:43:36 Ally: Yeah. Oh my god.

0:43:38 Murph: All right, I fucking flip the van.

0:43:43 Zac: [dubiously] Uh...

0:43:44 Murph: Right? You guys are, I mean-

0:43:46 Zac: No, I think that's where we're at.

0:43:48 Brennan: Dex saves from Kristen, Riz, and Gorgug. Adaine and Fig have been thrown to safety.

0:43:55 Emily: [gestures in air quotes] "Safety." [laughs]

0:43:58 Zac: 23.

0:43:59 Murph: 18.

0:43:59 Brennan: 18?

0:44:00 Ally: 8.

0:44:01 Brennan: 24 damage to Riz and Kristen.

0:44:04 Murph: Did I fail?

0:44:04 Brennan: You failed, yes.

0:44:06 Murph: Okay, shit.

0:44:06 Ally: I’m down.

0:44:06 Emily: Kristen's down!

0:44:08 Ally: I had 23 health.

0:44:08 Brennan: You had 23 health?

0:44:13 Murph: Shouldn't have flipped it.

0:44:14 Siobhan: No, I think it was the right thing to do.

0:44:17 Lou: Hey, you know?

0:44:18 Siobhan: Because the Night Yorb now cannot move unless they break the lasso.

0:44:24 Ally: I have a feat. I have Human Determination. I can reroll one-

0:44:26 Emily: Reroll, yeah!

0:44:28 Ally: I can reroll one ability check or saving throw.

0:44:31 Lou: We read the book!

0:44:31 Ally: Okay, okay, okay.

0:44:34 Brennan: This has got to be a Beardsley 20.

0:44:36 Ally: It's worse.

0:44:37 Emily: [groans]

0:44:38 Brennan: No worries.

0:44:39 Ally: [screams in frustration]

0:44:40 Emily: Our dice have turned on us!

0:44:42 Lou: That first turn, with the hand and the... We were on fire!

0:44:48 Ally: We were different people!

0:44:49 Lou: We were different people!

0:44:49 Brennan: Okay, is Riz still up?

0:44:51 Murph: Yes.

0:44:51 Brennan: Okay, Gorgug, you can stay right where you're at. Everyone else, the van successfully goes on its side.

0:45:00 Emily: Did the Night Yorb take any damage?

0:45:02 Brennan: Oh, the Night Yorb will have to roll a Dex save as well.

0:45:05 Emily: Fail! Fail!

0:45:05 Siobhan: Fail, fail!

0:45:08 Brennan: It is gonna burn a legendary resistance to succeed on the saving throw. Gorgug, you land on your feet right next to the solar lasso, taking no damage. Fig is prone but conscious, and I'm gonna say that Fig is right next to the sigil. Adaine is thrown some distance, and again, so Riz, you [mimics van crashing] skid, van crashes, but the Night Yorb is flush to the ground, sort of scrabbling in the dust, having been- almost like an alligator death roll, the van rolling, twisting the lasso and getting the Night Yorb further to the ground.

0:45:42 Emily: Even though it saved, does it take half damage?

0:45:44 Brennan: Oh yeah!

0:45:45 Emily: We're trying to figure out how to get-

0:45:47 Murph: We're just getting every little point we can get.

0:45:48 Brennan: Yeah, it was 25, right?

0:45:48 All: Yeah.

0:45:50 Brennan: 25. Just gonna halve that to 12. Let’s see if 12 does it. [Brennan pauses for suspense] Night Yorb is bloodied.

0:45:55 Ally: Yes!

0:45:57 Emily: Oh my god.

0:45:57 Ally: That's right, that's right.

0:45:58 Murph: Nice catch.

0:45:59 Brennan: Okay. Okay. Night Yorb eats the dust. Adaine, down. Fabian, down. Kristen, down. Riz, how many hit points are you at?

0:46:09 Murph: 16.

0:46:09 Brennan: Gorgug, how many are you at?

0:46:11 Zac: 60.

0:46:11 Brennan: Fig, how many are you at?

0:46:14 Emily: 66.

0:46:14 Brennan: Looking good, Fig!

0:46:16 Ally: Damn.

0:46:16 Brennan: Looking good!

0:46:18 Emily: All thanks to Circle of Power.

0:46:20 Brennan: Okay!

0:46:22 Emily: So since I'm near the sigil, can I do the sigilist thing?

0:46:26 Brennan: You absolutely can. Because actually- what I'm gonna say is, even though Kristen's going down, you were still in there. So I'm going to allow you to take-

0:46:34 Ally: We can reorder our-

0:46:36 Brennan: Yeah, I'll let you do a car action first. So if you want to do something with a slam attack or another car action, you absolutely can.

0:46:43 Ally: I would have had to have been a sigilist to do that?

0:46:46 Brennan: Yes, but you can do a door slam attack if you want to.

0:46:50 Ally: Okay, yeah, should I do it on the-

0:46:53 Siobhan: The Night Yorb?

0:46:53 Ally: The Yorb?

0:46:54 Emily: Do it on Riz.

0:46:56 Ally: You motherfucker!

0:46:56 Murph: Put Riz's head in the door.

0:46:58 Ally: And then you slam me and kill me. Do we need it, though? It's already bloodied.

0:47:03 Brennan: It's already bloodied.

0:47:04 Siobhan: I would do it just in case.

0:47:06 Ally: I might as well get a little extra in there.

0:47:08 Siobhan: It has legendary resistances.

0:47:09 Ally: All right. Free slam attack with door, 1d6 plus Strength.

0:47:13 Brennan: Yeah, roll your attack to hit it.

0:47:15 Ally: Okay. Ally rolls their die while Lou and Murph spectate. Lou looks away in embarrassment and Murph shakes his head. Ally takes the die and throws it across the dome.

0:47:18 Brennan: No.

0:47:21 Lou: We have to find all those—

0:47:22 Ally: If I'm hitting people— it is very dark over there, if I have hit a single person—

0:47:26 Emily: Sue them.

0:47:27 Ally: You should— I will sue you!

0:47:31 Brennan: Hell yes.

0:47:31 Emily: Oh, this is so bad.

0:47:33 Brennan: So, Gorgug, you're there. However, because of this driver action, it's still the car action, so I'm gonna let you... Things are looking fucking grim right now.

0:47:43 Zac: Should I also try a sigilist thing?

0:47:45 Siobhan: Might as well.

0:47:45 Lou: Yeah, do it, Gorgug!

0:47:46 Zac: I have a plus two to Arcana.

0:47:46 Lou: Yeah!

0:47:49 Emily: Let's do it! That would be so awesome if you got it. That would be so beautiful.

0:47:52 Brennan: Hey, Fig's paramour did say you are the greatest wizard of this age.

0:47:57 Gorgug: With my wizarding powers and my absolutely fucked van—

0:48:04 Lou: Come on, Gorgug.

0:48:06 Siobhan: You're the first teenager to destroy their first car.

0:48:09 Emily: I've never wanted anything more.

0:48:11 Lou: I want this so badly.

0:48:11 Zac: Versus the Athletics of—

0:48:14 Emily: Still disadvantage. Still disadvantage.

0:48:17 Zac: Do I have-

0:48:18 Brennan: That's right, and the Hangvan takes that damage as well, so the Hangvan's at 9 hit points. Your van has 9 hit points left.

0:48:22 Zac: I'm surprised it's anything at all.

0:48:24 Emily: Hot water and a plunger.

0:48:24 Zac: Do I do this just flat?

0:48:27 Emily: All better.

0:48:28 Brennan: No, it's opposed by its Athletics, but you're gonna roll Arcana. This is gonna be opposed—

0:48:32 Emily: It's rolling with disadvantage still.

0:48:35 Brennan: Fig miraculously has Hex up.

0:48:38 Emily: Thank you to my Eldritch Mind.

0:48:40 Brennan: So this is definitely Box of Doom. Disadvantage, but plus 12 Athletics from the Night Yorb. This is a free action on the car's turn, remember. [tense instrumental building] The lower of its two rolls was an 11 for 23, so you've got to hit a nat 20. Got to hit the nat 20. Here you go.

0:49:00 Emily: I really want this. This is so beautiful. Emily peers into the Box of Doom. No, I think it's an 8.

0:49:05 Zac: Are we sure?

0:49:08 Emily: I didn't know if it was one of those designed ones.

0:49:10 Lou: That's what I thought. It looked like an image and not a number.

0:49:14 Ally: Fuck.

0:49:14 Zac: All right.

0:49:15 Brennan: Okay.

0:49:15 Zac: I gave it a try!

0:49:17 Brennan: Fig, you've been thrown from the roof. [sand falling] In the dust skidding, with the van skidding behind you, you feel the bump of the roof of the van sliding into your body, pressing your bloodied cheek up against the roof as the Night Yorb wrestles with the solar lasso. Everything is dust, blood, and darkness in all directions.

0:49:38 Ally: That's metal as fuck.

0:49:41 Siobhan: So rad. Furiosa.

0:49:43 Brennan: It rolled a 19 and a natural 1.

0:49:47 Siobhan: Yes!

0:49:47 Emily: Yes!

0:49:48 Siobhan: Thank god for Hex.

0:49:48 Emily: Okay, okay.

0:49:50 Brennan: Just don't roll a 1 and this is over.

0:49:56 Ally: Oh my god.

0:50:00 Lou: I'm gonna... My stomach-

0:50:03 Zac: Look at me. Don't look at me!

0:50:04 Emily: [speaking to her die] We've been on a little bit of a journey today together. Emily kisses her die.

0:50:07 Siobhan: Look at your freaking—

0:50:07 Ally: Use the beans. They're due.

0:50:11 Emily: All right.

0:50:11 Emily: Okay. [tense instrumental building]

0:50:17 Emily: Nat 20! Yes, baby! [players cheering]

0:50:20 Murph: Oh my god!

0:50:21 Emily: Okay, wait, I need one more roll, and it's a Deception check to make Gorgug think he did it.

0:50:27 Brennan: Here we go!

0:50:28 Emily: I only got a 16, actually.

0:50:28 Zac: What do I roll?

0:50:32 Brennan: You roll Insight to see if you did it. That's a 2.

0:50:36 Zac: 2 plus… 1.

0:50:39 Brennan: Gorgug, you are the greatest wizard of this age. [rock music] Zac raises his hands into the air, straining.

0:50:47 Zac: His goggles are filled with dust. His nose is bleeding.

0:50:54 Fig: Gorgug, save us!

0:50:54 Gorgug: [stammering] I feel the power coursing through me!

0:50:58 Fig: Gorgug, what are you doing? You're channeling some crazy power!

0:51:04 Brennan: Fig, as you secretly touch your hand to the sigil, subtly enough that Gorgug can still believe that this is him doing it, the Night Yorb vanishes. And for the first time in months, day returns to Spyre.

0:51:22 Siobhan: It's so bright!

0:51:23 Brennan: It is blindingly fucking bright in the desert.

0:51:27 Ally: I'm dead, but fuck!

0:51:27 Brennan: Fuck! Duggan McCann dies. [players burst into laughter, western music plays]

0:51:35 Murph: No? Why?!

0:51:37 Duggan: [groaning] I'm a vampire. [western music ends abruptly]

0:51:41 Zac: What?

0:51:41 Lou: Wow!

0:51:42 Ally: The slowest vampire. The least eloquent vampire I've ever seen.

0:51:46 Murph: He didn't turn to dust or anything, he just fell over.

0:51:50 Brennan: You're actually not sure if he's telling the truth or not.

0:51:53 Zac: You look like you're moving a lot.

0:51:54 Brennan: He maybe just hates bright light, and is really fucking blasted and sick and just fell over.

0:51:58 Emily: Oh, I also got 7 hit points, because the Night Yorb died.

0:52:04 Brennan: Incredible. Night Yorb, sealed forever. The roof of the van shimmers as the sigil morphs and changes into the shape of a manta ray-like monster, an ancient eldritch horror of the multiverse sealed in the roof of Gorgug Thistlespring's van.

0:52:20 Zac: It's like a sick mural?

0:52:21 Brennan: It's like a sick-ass mural on the roof of the van.

0:52:23 Ally: Blacklight?

0:52:24 Brennan: Oh, you know it's blacklight. There are still Yorbies here. There are still enemies here that want to free their master from the roof of your van. So Fig, that was you on the car action. You have your full turn. I assume you use half your movement to stand, right?

0:52:39 Emily: Yeah. Well... Yeah. I'm just kidding. I'm definitely gonna bonus action Healing Word Kristen. Doing a 3rd level for 13.

0:52:49 Ally: Hell yeah.

0:52:49 Brennan: Kristen's up at 13.

0:52:50 Emily: Kristen's back up. : Woo!

0:52:51 Emily: And what are the Night Yorbies that look the worst? Because I'm down to cantrip, since I used that spell. [pointing at minis] He's encroaching, he's encroaching. Fabian's in a bad... Wait, is Fabian down?

0:53:01 Siobhan: Fabian's down.

0:53:03 Lou: I'm on the Hangman.

0:53:03 Emily: Ooh. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Man, I wish I had Spare the Dying, but you do.

0:53:10 Ally: I do. I have Revivify as well.

0:53:11 Zac: I have it.

0:53:11 Emily: You do?

0:53:12 Murph: Fabian's on the Hangman.

0:53:12 Emily: Okay, then you know what? We've got two people with Spare the Dying. I'm just gonna Eldritch Blast the guy who's threatening Adaine.

0:53:20 Brennan: Hell yeah, go for it. Give me an attack.

0:53:23 Emily: Okay, that is a 23 to hit.

0:53:23 Brennan: That'll do it.

0:53:26 Emily: Shout out to the 2 crew. Does an 11 hit?

0:53:29 Brennan: An 11 does not hit.

0:53:30 Emily: Okay, so we're just keeping it simple. 13 force damage.

0:53:35 Brennan: 13 force damage to that Yorbie. Fig, that's your bonus action and action.

0:53:39 Emily: Yeah.

0:53:40 Brennan: Eldritch Blast. You guys see blinding daylight, and suddenly, in this moment of being like, "We did it! We got the Night Yorb!" And then there's just more bullshit barreling on you as these Yorbies surround you. People are still down. There's this feeling of, even in this moment of tremendous success, it's like, no, it's not over! There's more shit we've got to do! And you feel- your turn ends. Baby, gone. Squeem-

0:54:01 Emily: I think I also, at the end of my turn, as an object interaction, I'm gonna look over at my phone and that ping, that school starts tomorrow.

0:54:10 Brennan: Yeah.

0:54:13 Emily: And I'm gonna let that fucking sink in.

0:54:15 Zac: [groans]

0:54:17 Brennan: Adaine, I'm gonna need a death saving throw. You have a failure. A nat one could permanently kill you.

0:54:27 Siobhan: That is a failure, but not a critical.

0:54:29 Emily: Oh my god!

0:54:29 Lou: That was too much.

0:54:31 Emily: Oh my god!

0:54:31 Lou: That was too much over here.

0:54:34 Brennan: Gorgug Thistlespring, that is your turn.

0:54:36 Zac: So I have healing stuff, but I'm already raging, and the action economy would make that take forever. Should I just keep fighting? It seems like that seems like—

0:54:44 Emily: Who can get, because we've got two people down, we wanna get them back up.

0:54:46 Ally: I can heal.

0:54:49 Lou: Yeah, Yorbies don't go until-

0:54:50 Zac: You're back up.

0:54:50 Ally: I'm back up.

0:54:51 Zac: Then okay, I'm just gonna fight this guy that's right here, the one that seems to be giving people-

0:54:57 Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it.

0:54:59 Zac: I'm recklessly attacking him.

0:55:01 Brennan: Hell yeah, go ahead and roll as many attacks as you want.

0:55:02 Zac: Okay.

0:55:03 Siobhan: Wait, was that my turn?

0:55:03 Brennan: That was your turn, yeah.

0:55:05 Siobhan: I'm gonna have my dog attack. He's close enough to this guy, right?

0:55:11 Brennan: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he is.

0:55:11 Siobhan: Great. Nat 20! I crit.

0:55:16 Murph: Nice!

0:55:16 Brennan: Roll damage.

0:55:18 Siobhan: So that's 8d8.

0:55:18 Lou: What?

0:55:19 Ally: We don't see, but we just hear... [barks rabidly as Moggy the Doggy]

0:55:23 Lou: Your invisible dog does 8d8?

0:55:25 Siobhan: My invisible dog does 4d8, but I crit.

0:55:28 Brennan: Unbelievable.

0:55:30 Zac: A 27 and a 24.

0:55:30 Brennan: Hits.

0:55:32 Zac: And then frenzy. Nat 20.

0:55:36 Emily: Nat 20! Woo!

0:55:37 Brennan: Hell yes. Here we go.

0:55:37 Siobhan: Now we're rolling well. That's 34 damage against the one that's attacking-

0:55:42 Brennan: Everyone watches Adaine's prone body as that Yorbie stands over and says, "Enemies of the Night Yorb must..." And for a moment, if you're looking so carefully, a spectral, perfectly round Pomeranian named Moggy the Doggy leaps and ruthlessly tears the throat of that Yorbie, [Brennan yips as Moggy the Doggy] and [splatter] blood splatters everywhere. You hear the sickening crunch [bone crunch] of neck vertebrae being mangled in this dog's mouth. He is no more [bark].

0:56:11 Ally: Wow.

0:56:13 Zac: 19 plus 15, so 34.

0:56:13 Brennan: 34.

0:56:16 Zac: 34 damage.

0:56:16 Brennan: You do 34 damage, and then a crit, you roll 3d12.

0:56:22 Zac: Oh shit, okay. Then one more. It took forever to get to one. So, 35.

0:56:30 Brennan: This guy is toast, decapitated off the top of the ant creature, but the ant creature is still there menacing you.

0:56:38 Gorgug: Don't menace me!

0:56:39 Brennan: Kristen Applebees, that is your turn.

0:56:42 Ally: Okay, I'm back up. I am going to do a little bit of a Mass Cure Wounds.

0:56:46 Emily: Yes! Kristen!

0:56:48 Siobhan: Kristen!

0:56:50 Ally: So, everybody-

0:56:51 Murph: How many people can you hit with that?

0:56:52 Ally: Six. I think I can get all of us.

0:56:54 Emily: I don't need it.

0:56:56 Ally: You don't? I could give it to the van.

0:56:58 Emily: Yeah, give it to the van.

0:56:59 Ally: I don't know if that means anything.

0:56:59 Murph: Oh, that would be rad.

0:57:00 Zac: Hey, it means something to me emotionally.

0:57:02 Ally: All right, yeah, great.

0:57:02 Siobhan: Can you give it to Duggan?

0:57:05 Lou: Yeah, honestly, bring Duggan back.

0:57:06 Emily: Duggan died from the sunlight.

0:57:07 Murph: He died, though.

0:57:07 Emily: Because he's a vampire.

0:57:09 Lou: We all know Duggan's not dead.

0:57:11 Ally: It's gonna take some 12-step for him to come back to life.

0:57:14 Zac: He's definitely crawling away right now, but he's dead.

0:57:16 Emily: His healing path is-

0:57:17 Brennan: All right, so you're gonna use half your speed to get up from prone.

0:57:20 Ally: And can I do it by doing a pushup? That's really just for me. No one's watching, but I'm just like, yeah, we're getting there.

0:57:26 Emily: I do see it. I clock it.

0:57:28 Ally: It looked effortless.

0:57:28 Fig: Whoa, Kristen. Nice.

0:57:30 Brennan: Go ahead and roll Mass Cure Wounds.

0:57:35 Ally: Eh. Okay. 12, 14, plus 5, 19 everybody gets.

0:57:40 Murph: Thank you.

0:57:40 Brennan: Everybody gets 19 HP back. Duggan or the van are not included in that, correct?

0:57:46 Ally: I wanted to include the van, if that's okay.

0:57:47 Brennan: 19 back to the van, cool. Cool cool cool, good call.

0:57:49 Ally: [pointing to Emily] Because you didn't need any.

0:57:49 Emily: Yeah, I'm rescinding.

0:57:52 Brennan: Okay, the van goes from 9 hit points to 28 hit points, a big, meaningful difference.

0:57:56 Ally: Incredible. I could also get under that hood a little bit.

0:58:01 Brennan: Hm?

0:58:02 Ally: Object interaction, could I do a Medicine check?

0:58:04 Brennan: On?

0:58:04 Ally: The van.

0:58:06 Lou: Get under that hood a little bit, you know?

0:58:07 Ally: Can I get under that hood a little bit?

0:58:10 Brennan: Any bonus actions?

0:58:10 Ally: Probably just-

0:58:13 Brennan: Getting under the hood?

0:58:14 Emily: Probably just getting under the hood.

0:58:16 Zac: A little bit.

0:58:16 Brennan: I'll let you do it.

0:58:18 Ally: Will you?

0:58:19 Brennan: I'll let you. Oh, I would be happy to. Give me a tinkerer's tool check.

0:58:24 Ally: I don't know if I have that.

0:58:25 Brennan: [vindicated] Yeah, you don't. Give it to me. You wanted to do a bit, so now we're doing a bit.

0:58:31 Ally: Nat 20.

0:58:32 Brennan: Nat 20? But you didn't roll a die!

0:58:34 Zac: Kristen, I can get in there.

0:58:38 Brennan: Riz, that is your turn.

0:58:40 Murph: Okay. Yeah, we're fighting it out. These guys go down pretty quick. Everybody's back up. Fabian's back up?

0:58:47 Lou: I'm back up.

0:58:47 Murph: Great, okay.

0:58:49 Emily: But very surrounded.

0:58:49 Murph: Yes, very surrounded. I think I'm going to shoot at some of these dudes back here. I guess the guy that's on top of this mount here.

0:59:00 Brennan: You jump out from behind the driver's seat, rush over here, you're sort of behind the rock. The Ball jumps out. Go ahead and give me an attack roll.

0:59:07 Murph: Sweet.

0:59:07 Brennan: You also see that as the power of the Night Yorb vanishes from this world, all of these Yorbies and their mounts diminish in power and ability. They were already at half hit points. It's been halved again, essentially.

0:59:21 Ally: Wow.

0:59:21 Fig: Kristen, they're desperate! They're looking for someone to follow!

0:59:25 Kristen: Yeah, okay. Did Cassandra text you?

0:59:32 Fig: Nonstop.

0:59:36 Brennan: 20 texts in a row saying, "Is Kristen mad at me?" From a goddess.

0:59:39 Ally: Is Kristen mad at me?

0:59:39 Murph: 17 to hit.

0:59:41 Brennan: 17 hits.

0:59:42 Murph: Great. Okay. [counting under his breath] 32 damage.

0:59:48 Brennan: Go ahead and pull a Yorbie off one of those mounts, baby. Bam, done.

0:59:54 Murph: Then I'll hide.

0:59:55 Brennan: Then you'll hide. Give me the hide. That's gonna be Fabian Aramais Seacaster!

0:59:59 Lou: I guess Fabian comes to. He's just exhausted. [labored] It's just so much. It's been so long, and there's just... He's gonna stab these guys but, you know, it's not with any of the normal zeal. Of course, the battle silk's still gonna fly, but it just, it ain't the same!

1:00:20 Emily: That silk is limp.

1:00:23 Lou: It's limp silk.

1:00:23 Ally: The silk is filthy and limp.

1:00:26 Riz: Fabian, photosynthesis is back!

1:00:27 Murph: I yell as I hit the deck.

1:00:31 Fabian: It is, Riz. It is.

1:00:33 Lou: I'm gonna swing on the red guy.

1:00:35 Brennan: Go for it.

1:00:36 Riz: Photosynthesis is back, baby!

1:00:39 Lou: That's a 25 to hit.

1:00:39 Brennan: That's gonna hit.

1:00:42 Lou: 2nd level spell slot, and use my last superiority dice. 8, 15, 18, 27 points of damage.

1:00:58 Brennan: Go ahead and take one of those Yorbies off.

1:00:59 Lou: Great.

1:00:59 Ally: Incredible.

1:01:01 Lou: I stab him through the neck, but it's just- it's not the same!

1:01:05 Brennan: Everyone's already doing the thing of just- the steps are just lead. [labored] Okay, we've just got to clean up now.

1:01:14 Gorgug: Aren't these guys supposed to disappear or turn into dust or something?

1:01:17 Yorbie: Why would we turn into dust? We're people! We're gonna free the Night Yorb!

1:01:22 Adaine: No you're not!

1:01:22 Fig: You're still on it?

1:01:24 Kristen: Is that what I used to sound like?

1:01:27 Adaine: Yeah, kind of. But really quickly-

1:01:29 Kristen: Toxic positivity.

1:01:31 Lou: With a Dash action from the Hangman, could I get to the guy behind the ballista?

1:01:34 Brennan: Yeah.

1:01:34 Emily: Yeah!

1:01:37 Lou: I think I might get the ballista guy before he can ballista anybody.

1:01:41 Brennan: Hangman's gonna take some opportunity, but he's taking no damage.

1:01:44 Lou: Okay, great.

1:01:46 Brennan: That's two hits on the Hangman.

1:01:49 Ally: This is how he gets you.

1:01:49 Lou: Yeah.

1:01:52 Brennan: Hangman takes 15 and 19.

1:01:52 Lou: Please don't kill him.

1:01:57 Emily: What? [whimpers in fear]

1:01:57 Brennan: 15 and 19. These two giant spears, boom boom boom! The Hangman, gas and oil spilling out, is like, "Oh, sire!" But is still up.

1:02:07 Emily: [relieved] Okay!

1:02:09 Lou: And we're gonna go and hit the guy on the ballista kinda aimed toward Gorgug.

1:02:15 Brennan: Hangman's at 11 hit points. Okay, go ahead and take your attack.

1:02:24 Lou: Does a 17 hit?

1:02:25 Brennan: 17 hits.

1:02:27 Lou: Great, we'll burn the last 2nd level spell slot, one more, and no more superiority dice. But we'll add a flourish. I forgot I had... I'll add a flourish, but it just ain't the same.

1:02:42 Emily: It's a flat flourish.

1:02:42 Murph: The flourish lacks flourish!

1:02:46 Lou: 21 points of damage.

1:02:49 Brennan: 21 is their exact new HP total. This guy is toast.

1:02:52 Lou: I stab him a couple of times, just to try and feel something.

1:02:56 Brennan: Any bonus actions from Fabian?

1:02:57 Lou: No.

1:02:57 Brennan: Okay.

1:02:59 Emily: Does it need to be my turn to light up a clove cigarette and lean against the sigil?

1:03:02 Brennan: You can light one up. You can light one up for sure. With the daylight, all the insects are riderless. Someone call odds or evens.

1:03:11 Siobhan: Evens!

1:03:11 Emily: Evens!

1:03:11 Murph: Odds.

1:03:13 Brennan: Wait, you called multiple-

1:03:13 Zac: Two evens, two evens.

1:03:14 Brennan: Two evens, okay. Gotcha.

1:03:17 Zac: What was it?

1:03:17 Lou: It was odd.

1:03:19 Brennan: It was odd, it was odd.

1:03:19 Siobhan: Dammit.

1:03:20 Brennan: Go ahead and move those. All three are gonna attack Gorgug, who called it right.

1:03:27 Gorgug: [burnt out] Why do you care? Why do you guys care? You're bugs.

1:03:30 Emily: I'm just smoking a clove cigarette, watching you.

1:03:32 Gorgug: You're absolutely bugs.

1:03:34 Riz: Real quick, you guys are bugs, right?

1:03:36 Fig: Gorgug, you good?

1:03:38 Gorgug: Yeah, yeah.

1:03:38 Fig: Okay. Gorgug, do you have your outfit picked out for the first day of school?

1:03:45 Gorgug: Please don't mention that.

1:03:48 Fig: Cool.

1:03:50 Gorgug: I don't even have clean clothes.

1:03:50 Ally: You shit-starter!

1:03:54 Fabian: Do you have your outfit picked out?

1:03:56 Fig: I'm wearing it.

1:03:59 Brennan: Gorgug, you take 38 points of acid damage.

1:04:04 Emily: [bewildered] What?

1:04:07 Brennan: They're low hit points, but they're here.

1:04:09 Emily: At least it wasn't me, because I'm wearing-

1:04:13 Gorgug: [screams] Well, I don't know if I'm... [screams]

1:04:15 Emily: I hope that isn't your outfit.

1:04:18 Siobhan: Your clothes start to rot off your body from the acid.

1:04:21 Brennan: Give me those two yathmag guys.

1:04:24 Emily: Sorry, how do you pronounce it?

1:04:25 Brennan: Yas-mag!

1:04:25 Lou: Yes! There it is!

1:04:30 Murph: I am hiding.

1:04:30 Brennan: Oh, you are hiding. What'd you roll for your Stealth?

1:04:33 Murph: 19.

1:04:33 Brennan: Okay, they'll go for Gorgug. Zac makes an exasperated expression.

1:04:39 Emily: Gorgug, you good?

1:04:42 Siobhan: Did you come out of a rage?

1:04:42 Ally: Gorgug, what are you at?

1:04:44 Zac: I'm still in my rage.

1:04:44 Siobhan: But acid-

1:04:46 Zac: Acid is not part of rage.

1:04:49 Brennan: Gorgug, you take 5 halved to 2 and 9 halved to 4 piercing damage.

1:04:58 Zac: Okay, so 6 total.

1:05:00 Brennan: 6 total. What's Gorgug at right now?

1:05:02 Zac: 34.

1:05:02 Brennan: Okay.

1:05:04 Fig: Gorgug, you're just weak from that magic you cast.

1:05:07 Gorgug: It's drained me! Something about the acid damage and the spell I cast have drained me, and my absolutely fucked van.

1:05:17 Murph: I think Fig's getting shot with a ballista right now.

1:05:19 Brennan: Fig, you get shot for 28 points of damage.

1:05:23 Emily: I don't even Cutting Words. I just take it.

1:05:26 Murph: No! Cutting Words!

1:05:28 Brennan: You're standing there-

1:05:30 Murph: What's everyone doing?

1:05:30 Brennan: Okay.

1:05:33 Fabian: It's that era, The Ball.

1:05:33 Gorgug: Riz, we're tired.

1:05:36 Riz: What era?

1:05:36 Adaine: So tired.

1:05:37 Riz: We did it! We did it!

1:05:37 Ally: Post-battle.

1:05:39 Emily: I go to light my cigarette. It goes right through my hand. Emily pantomimes her hand, holding a cigarette, pinned to the Hangvan. She cranes her neck, pretending to take a drag from the cigarette.

1:05:42 Brennan: It goes right, bam, hand, into the Hangvan.

1:05:47 Zac: Aw, Fig!

1:05:47 Brennan: That's the ballista dead. These guys are all gonna fire with-

1:05:54 Zac: Which guys?

1:05:54 Brennan: The guys up here. These guys are actually going to leap forward. I'll make some Dex saves.

1:06:00 Ally: Make some ankle saves.

1:06:00 Lou: Any natural 1s on the-

1:06:04 Emily: Because it'd be fun if it happened on both sides!

1:06:05 Siobhan: They both turn their ankles and fall to the ground.

1:06:08 Brennan: One of them does die.

1:06:11 Lou: I'll take it!

1:06:12 Brennan: This guy dies and rolls to the bottom of the hill. This guy just starts running down to join the fray. This guy flees. His heart's not in it.

1:06:18 Lou: Go have a life, dude. Go back to the movie theater you work at.

1:06:21 Zac: See that?

1:06:24 Lou: We're gonna see that guy on Thursday.

1:06:25 Brennan: Then the last is the yathmag. The yathmag mounts are going to go. One's gonna go for Fabian, one's gonna go for Gorgug.

1:06:33 Zac: [with his face in his hands] Stop! Stop!

1:06:33 Murph: They're so vigilant.

1:06:37 Brennan: I'm gonna need a Wisdom saving throw from Gorgug.

1:06:37 Siobhan: Jesus Christ.

1:06:42 Brennan: And I'm gonna need a Constitution save from Fabian.

1:06:47 Siobhan: What kind of attack is it? Don't you not take, you can ignore Wisdom attacks when you're raging?

1:06:54 Zac: No, it's just, I can't be charmed or frightened.

1:06:56 Brennan: Oh, this is a frighten effect.

1:06:57 Zac: Oh, okay.

1:06:57 Lou: What about mine?

1:06:59 Brennan: Yours is not a frighten effect.

1:07:01 Lou: [wincing noise] 19.

1:07:03 Brennan: 19 saves!

1:07:03 Lou: Ah! Ah!

1:07:07 Brennan: You take 30 halved to 15 points of necrotic damage.

1:07:11 Fabian: [yelps in pain] Hangman?

1:07:14 The Hangman: Yes, sire?

1:07:15 Fabian: When we get home-

1:07:15 The Hangman: Yes?

1:07:16 Fabian: I want an ice cream. I just want a big bowl of ice cream.

1:07:20 The Hangman: Like the old days, yes.

1:07:20 Fabian: Yeah.

1:07:23 The Hangman: We can go to Basrar's and get a nice ice cream.

1:07:25 Fabian: Yeah, we could go to Basrar's.

1:07:27 Fig: I could absolutely destroy some Basrar's.

1:07:32 Fabian: Does anyone else wanna... [yelps in pain] Does anyone else wanna go to Basrar's?

1:07:35 Riz: Yes.

1:07:35 Adaine: Yes!

1:07:37 Brennan: All of you, suddenly it is 98 degrees in this desert. It took six seconds, and all of you feel like, “No, come on, man.” And you see these Yorbies are like, “This is where the final victory…” Their hearts are so in it. They believe so strongly.

1:07:53 Siobhan: You lost, man.

1:07:53 Zac: The acid has ripped my clothes.

1:07:59 Brennan: Fig, that's your turn.

1:07:59 Emily: Wait, really?

1:08:01 Brennan: Yeah, that's your turn.

1:08:01 Emily: Okay.

1:08:03 Brennan: Ecaf is destroyed. Hangvan's on its side.

1:08:06 Murph: Gorgug is actually super hurt, I think, right?

1:08:09 Zac: I'm at 34. They've been doing like 40 damage.

1:08:15 Emily: [gestures to minis] I think I'm just gonna Fireball these four. [energetic drum solo]

1:08:18 Murph: Oh my god, yes.

1:08:18 Brennan: Oh, sick! Yeah, yeah, yeah, go for it.

1:08:20 Lou: Clean, clean, clean.

1:08:21 Emily: I'm gonna do a 4th level.

1:08:21 Murph: So clean.

1:08:22 Lou: So incredibly clean!

1:08:23 Murph: Oh my god, please.

1:08:23 Emily: 4th level Fireball.

1:08:25 Siobhan: Smoking a cigarette and blowing up a bunch of ants.

1:08:28 Brennan: Oh yeah, you can get all four, no sweat. Yeah, bam.

1:08:30 Emily: And maybe Gorgug, too.

1:08:32 Gorgug: Fig. Fig, please.

1:08:35 Brennan: And you're not removing the ballista from your hand?

1:08:39 Emily: I take a drag of my cigarette.

1:08:41 Brennan: Unbelievable.

1:08:42 Emily: Huck a Fireball over my shoulder.

1:08:45 Brennan: Amazing, go ahead and roll damage. I will roll Dex saves.

1:08:51 Siobhan: Nice! Wow, so many 6s.

1:08:54 Emily: 36 damage.

1:08:56 Brennan: The yathmags look very hurt. Both Yorbies on top of them are dead, and both bugs are dead as well.

1:09:04 Emily: Yes! I can see Gorgug, right?

1:09:08 Brennan: Yes, you can.

1:09:12 Emily: With a ballista pinning my arm to the sigil we just sealed the Night Yorb with, I'm gonna wink at you for a Bardic.

1:09:23 Gorgug: Are you okay?

1:09:25 Fig: I'm feeling a little unhinged. I might have dug too deep for this battle.

1:09:30 Gorgug: I think we've got to go to sleep.

1:09:33 Brennan: Adaine, that's gonna be you.

1:09:35 Siobhan: Oh god. These Yorbies are dead, right?

1:09:39 Brennan: Yes, I just can't take them off.

1:09:40 Siobhan: Okay.

1:09:40 Brennan: The yathmags are still up.

1:09:43 Zac: This guy's alive and the yathmags.

1:09:44 Brennan: The bug and the two yathmags, and then there's one Yorbie here and one Yorbie here.

1:09:50 Murph: I think you're one of the only people with area of effect.

1:09:52 Brennan: Half movement to get up from prone.

1:09:53 Siobhan: Yeah, I'm gonna do a 4th level Erupting Earth over the two Yorbies that are left, because they're next to each other.

1:09:59 Brennan: The two yathmags?

1:09:59 Siobhan: Yathmags.

1:10:00 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:10:00 Siobhan: That's a Dex check for them.

1:10:02 Zac: [under his breath to Siobhan] Are they floating?

1:10:02 Brennan: Go ahead and roll damage.

1:10:04 Siobhan: 27. [whispering to Zac] Shut the fuck up.

1:10:04 Brennan: What's up?

1:10:06 Siobhan: Nothing!

1:10:06 Zac: Nothing. Nothing at all.

1:10:08 Brennan: What's your thing?

1:10:08 Siobhan: Nothing.

1:10:10 Emily: Zac-

1:10:10 Murph: Zac farted, okay?

1:10:13 Brennan: Were you talking about how they're flying?

1:10:15 Zac: No, I was farting! I was ripping ass!

1:10:18 Brennan: It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that they're flying.

1:10:20 Emily: Yay!

1:10:21 Brennan: Listen, hey, I would happily go by the rules. They're gonna make their Dex saves. Both fail! Go ahead and roll damage.

1:10:28 Ally: Nice!

1:10:29 Siobhan: 27 damage.

1:10:31 Brennan: Describe for me, as the yathmags are torn apart.

1:10:34 Siobhan: As they're about to explode, they both say, "Love is love!" [peaceful instrumental]

1:10:38 Zac: Yas-mag.

1:10:39 Brennan: To be clear to the viewing audience, that does not happen. They do not say that. You can describe how they are destroyed, not what they say.

1:10:46 Ally: Love wins! Then they die.

1:10:50 Brennan: The most disturbing thing I've ever heard. Incredible. Any bonus actions from Adaine? [peaceful instrumental fades]

1:10:55 Siobhan: I bonus action sit back down.

1:10:58 Brennan: Incredible. Gorgug, that's your turn.

1:11:00 Gorgug: Get away from me, you fucking bug!

1:11:03 Zac: Just gonna… [mimics swinging an axe]

1:11:04 Brennan: Okay, go ahead and roll an attack.

1:11:06 Zac: 22 on the first one.

1:11:08 Brennan: Go ahead and roll damage for that first attack.

1:11:11 Zac: Okay.

1:11:13 Brennan: And you're raging.

1:11:13 Zac: That's 15.

1:11:14 Brennan: 15? You decapitate this bug, one attack.

1:11:17 Gorgug: Who we got? Who we got left?

1:11:19 Lou: This guy and that guy.

1:11:19 Brennan: There's this guy over here. Oh yeah, there's a guy right next to you.

1:11:23 Zac: I still have Jump, and I haven't used it at all, so I'm gonna just jump 30 feet in the air and [mimics swinging an axe]

1:11:29 Emily: And land on him?

1:11:30 Brennan: Go ahead and give me your attack.

1:11:32 Zac: Okay.

1:11:33 Emily: But maybe if you land on him, it'll make him prone.

1:11:36 Zac: Ooh!

1:11:36 Emily: Although you already roll with advantage, so.

1:11:38 Zac: Yeah. 26 on the first one.

1:11:42 Brennan: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

1:11:43 Zac: That's another- this is actually not- 12 damage.

1:11:48 Brennan: Okay, still up.

1:11:48 Zac: Okay, frenzy. Nat 20, and a 19.

1:11:54 Brennan: Double crit, yeah.

1:11:55 Zac: How alive is he?

1:11:55 Brennan: He's fucking toast.

1:11:58 Zac: He's dead, right?

1:11:58 Brennan: He's fucking dead. Just stumbling around in the dust, blood and oil and the ink of the Night Yorb everywhere. Just, ant, turn around, through this other guy [mimics attacking with an axe].

1:12:09 Gorgug: We're done doing this!

1:12:11 Fig: Is anyone still fighting for the Night Yorb?

1:12:14 Fabian: I think there's another one of the ballistas.

1:12:16 Brennan: Popping out of trap doors, two more Yorbies appear. Brennan places two, tactical Yorbie minis on the board. The players burst into laughter.

1:12:18 Zac: No!

1:12:21 Emily: Are you kidding? Are you kidding?

1:12:23 Murph: [cackling]

1:12:24 Brennan: They have a readied action.

1:12:24 Emily: Oh my god!

1:12:28 Brennan: They fire at Gorgug. The first guy gets double... [wheezing] They fire at Gorgug-

1:12:35 Gorgug: [in disbelief] Why? Why didn't you come out earlier?

1:12:38 Murph: Why did they wait?

1:12:38 Zac: Why did you wait till now?

1:12:40 Brennan: One guy, I swear to god, I just rolled two nat 1s for, his crossbow backfires and it shoots him in the eye.

1:12:49 Murph: Why did they go for Gorgug?

1:12:49 Brennan: The other guy hits you for 8 points of damage, halved to 4.

1:12:54 Zac: It's just like... Zac pantomimes an arrow striking his arm, reacting nonplussed.

1:12:59 Gorgug: [to Fig] Can I have a hit of that?

1:12:59 Emily: Yeah. I flick the cigarette. Lou has a thousand-yard stare, minutely shaking his head.

1:13:06 Brennan: Lou, are you okay?

1:13:08 Murph: [with tears in his eyes] They're so tactical and so late. They're so tactical.

1:13:14 Brennan: You're crying. You're literally crying!

1:13:17 Murph: They're just so professional, to be so cold and serious! Ten minutes after the fight is lost, just being like… [mimics the Yorbie enthusiastically readying a crossbow]

1:13:27 Brennan: And then one guy dies. [mimics a crossbow backfiring catastrophically] Murph pants with admiration and bafflement.

1:13:37 Gorgug: Stop! Everyone in the little trapdoor, stop!

1:13:40 Brennan: All right, so Kristen, it's your turn. There's literally just this one ballista guy and this dude who popped out of a trapdoor. His buddy's dead, but he's still up. It is your turn.

1:13:52 Ally: Okay, I slowly reach into my bag.

1:13:55 Zac: Do it faster!

1:13:58 Emily: Nah, take your time.

1:13:58 Ally: And I use my action to reach into the Pouch of Endless Ice Cream, and I produce a tasty ice cream sandwich from the pouch. Yum. [whimsical circus music]

1:14:11 Brennan: It says yum in the item ability.

1:14:13 Ally: It does, and I walk over to Fabian and I hand it to him and I get on the Hangman with him.

1:14:20 Brennan: You hand him an ice cream. You get on the Hangman. That's your action, perfect. Up next in initiative, we're back at the top with Riz.

1:14:27 Ally: It doesn't do anything extra?

1:14:29 Brennan: No. Why would it? It's an ice cream sandwich.

1:14:32 Ally: The language made it sound like it wouldn't, but then I thought we might as well try now that we've got a little extra room.

1:14:38 Brennan: No, I think it's meaningful in your friendship with Fabian. [whimsical circus music fades]

1:14:42 Lou: Wow.

1:14:43 Ally: It doesn't hit the same, I know.

1:14:44 Brennan: Okay, that is your turn, Riz.

1:14:46 Murph: Okay.

1:14:46 Brennan: [gestures to the remaining tactical Yorbie] This guy's got 3/4 cover.

1:14:51 Murph: I think Riz was hiding-

1:14:55 Yorbie: We will free the Night Yorb!

1:14:56 Murph: I think Riz jumps up, still thinks we're in winning mode, like,

1:15:00 Riz: We did it, gang! We'll stop this guy! [rock music]

1:15:02 Murph: And I shoot at that guy on instinct.

1:15:05 Brennan: Yeah, go for it.

1:15:09 Murph: 28 to hit.

1:15:10 Brennan: That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage. You're attacking from hiding, right?

1:15:14 Murph: Yeah.

1:15:14 Brennan: Gotcha, gotcha. Cool, cool.

1:15:17 Murph: I just have to go after that dude because I love him, even though I know the ballista is-

1:15:22 Brennan: I don't think I've ever done anything that made you laugh as much in years of playing this game.

1:15:26 Murph: They're just so tactical. They're so tactical. [rock music fades]

1:15:31 Emily: So tactical, so late.

1:15:34 Brennan: That's the T-shirt. So tactical, so late.

1:15:37 Murph: 25 damage.

1:15:39 Brennan: He's done, man. He's fucking done. You shoot him in the head and he collapses in his little hole. He's gone. Blam.

1:15:45 Emily: Can I Fireball his and the other guy's corpse?

1:15:47 Brennan: Yes.

1:15:47 Murph: I hide again.

1:15:49 Brennan: Amazing. Fabian, that's your turn. There's a ballista over there. [rock music]

1:15:52 Lou: Fully one hand is eating an ice cream and doing the slowest three point turn as I back the Hangman up, and then I'm gonna just drive it straight over this [motorcycle rev] and land on this man and crush him.

1:16:08 Brennan: Go ahead and make an attack roll.

1:16:10 Lou: What do I add to crush with motorcycle?

1:16:13 Brennan: For you, this is a steering check, so it's Dexterity plus proficiency. Dex mod plus proficiency.

1:16:17 Lou: So how do you feel about a 14?

1:16:20 Brennan: A 14, and there's no Bless or anything else?

1:16:23 Lou: No Bless or anything like that.

1:16:24 Brennan: Okay, he dodges out of the way and wheels the ballista onto you.

1:16:28 Lou: Great, I'm gonna stab him twice.

1:16:29 Ally: I think this is part of my outfit.

1:16:31 Brennan: Go ahead and make an attack roll.

1:16:33 Lou: Wait, real quick.

1:16:33 Brennan: Yeah?

1:16:34 Fabian: Buddy! Do you wanna go?

1:16:37 Brennan: Give me a Persuasion. We'll call it a DC 15.

1:16:42 Lou: 18.

1:16:43 Brennan: He goes,

1:16:43 Yorbie: [exhausted] I serve the Night Yorb.

1:16:48 Fabian: Well, yes, but he's there now.

1:16:50 Yorbie: We... We of... We of the Nocturnal-

1:16:55 Gorgug: There's no we.

1:16:55 Yorbie: Hm?

1:16:57 Fabian: It's just you.

1:16:57 Yorbie: No, we... Guys?

1:17:00 Adaine: You know what you could serve, is delicious ice cream at Basrar's. They're always hiring.

1:17:05 Yorbie: Oh.

1:17:06 Fabian: Do you wanna try some? I know I already took a few bites.

1:17:09 Yorbie: Yes, let me try some.

1:17:10 Brennan: And he throws it in your face and turns to sprint.

1:17:13 Lou: Stab, stab! [mimics thrusting a sword]

1:17:18 Zac: That's after passing the Persuasion check.

1:17:21 Brennan: That's for passing the Persuasion check.

1:17:22 Murph: He was running away.

1:17:23 Lou: A 22 and a 26 to hit.

1:17:26 Brennan: That's gonna do it, yeah yeah yeah.

1:17:28 Lou: 30-something damage.

1:17:29 Yorbie: The Night Yorb... [grunts]

1:17:32 Fabian: [while stabbing] You didn't- have to- do it! You could- have had- an ice cream! I- want- to go home! Where's Ecaf? [players cringe]

1:17:44 Zac: Ecaf?

1:17:44 Brennan: Ecaf.

1:17:45 Emily: Fuck!

1:17:47 Kristen: Which Ecaf?

1:17:47 Fig: Which Ecaf?

1:17:48 Fabian: The beautiful, the lovely Ecaf.

1:17:51 Fig: Oh, I saw her going that way. Can I Minor Illusion her?

1:17:54 Zac: Send her into the portal.

1:17:56 Ally: It's her kinda running away.

1:17:58 Brennan: Give me Deception real quick.

1:18:00 Zac: Send her into the portal.

1:18:00 Brennan: [to Murph] Give me Insight, by the way.

1:18:03 Emily: I got a 19 Deception.

1:18:03 Murph: 22 on Insight.

1:18:07 Brennan: So first of all, you know. You saw Fig earlier seal the Night Yorb in the sigil.

1:18:12 Fig: [hissing] Never tell Gorgug! Never!

1:18:12 Riz: [winks and clicks his tongue] [whispering] Okay.

1:18:15 Fig: [hissing] Never!

1:18:15 Gorgug: [contemplating softly] I can't believe I did it.

1:18:19 Riz: That was awesome, Gorgug.

1:18:19 Zac: Looking at the van.

1:18:21 Murph: I really oversell it.

1:18:21 Brennan: And then this 19, Fabian, roll Insight versus a 19.

1:18:25 Emily: Yeah, I think I'm Minor Illusioning it and then Prestidigitation the sound of her being like, "I was a turncoat the whole time!"

1:18:34 Zac: I got a 17.

1:18:34 Ally: “I was a turncoat”?

1:18:35 Brennan: You got a 17? With the Night Yorb defeated, Ecaf has fled into the desert, betraying your love. [melancholy instrumental]

1:18:46 Kristen: That turncoat.

1:18:46 Fig: Wow.

1:18:49 Fabian: Today! Why today? I was gonna get some kisses. She said we'd be kissing! Can I have another ice cream?

1:19:00 Kristen: Yeah, definitely.

1:19:00 Ally: I reach into the pouch. I give you a fresh ice cream sandwich.

1:19:05 Brennan: With a fresh ice cream sandwich, looking at this spread- [gestures to the battle map] Fabian's over here, Adaine, Riz, Fig, Kristen, Gorgug, so you're standing, the Hangvan is... [mimics smoke hissing] Smoke and bullet holes, wind-

1:19:18 Fig: Anyone wanna remove the ballista from my arm?

1:19:20 Fabian: Sure.

1:19:20 Siobhan: I Mage Hand.

1:19:22 Brennan: Everyone go around and describe your state of injury and destroyed-ness right now.

1:19:29 Emily: I think that I'm bleeding profusely from my arm that was pinned to the van, and I think I already have a sunburn, even though I'm immune to fire.

1:19:45 Brennan: The sun is radiant, I guess, yeah.

1:19:46 Emily: And I'm really sweaty and my hair is all matted, and I think I'm wondering what sort of deal I made.

1:19:53 Brennan: And I will say, as you say that, you feel in your stomach... [Brennan makes gurgling noises]. Gorgug.

1:19:59 Ally: What?

1:20:01 Zac: Gorgug's just covered in a mix of dust and acid. His clothes have tattered from the spray of bug acid that he was surrounded by. He's just leaning on his ax at this point.

1:20:18 Brennan: Adaine.

1:20:18 Siobhan: Her jeans are ripped at both of her knees from falling off the Hangvan. Boggy is gone, for now, and she's just covered in dust on one side of her body from sweat and lying there.

1:20:38 Brennan: Yeah. Fabian.

1:20:40 Lou: I think in addition to just the cuts and bruises and deep gashes from the first time he went under the car, there's also now just straight-up tire marks. There's a full tire mark that goes across my body and over my face as I just kinda eat an ice cream sandwich and look longingly at-

1:21:03 Adaine: Hey, you got a little something there.

1:21:05 Emily: I keep the Minor Illusion going.

1:21:07 Lou: Honestly, it's nice to not make eye contact with anyone. Yeah.

1:21:14 Brennan: How's Kristen looking?

1:21:16 Ally: I think Kristen is so fucking hot. She's still in the full-

1:21:19 Brennan: Full bloke mode.

1:21:23 Ally: Full bloke mode. It's at the point where at one point, she would have taken the jacket off, because she's like, oh my god, I'm sweating, but now she's so sweaty that she has to keep the jacket on or else it'll be too gross. She was already feeling dread, but now that this is officially done, I think everyone's kinda flashing polite smiles at each other like, we did it! But just feeling so brutal.

1:21:46 Brennan: Riz.

1:21:47 Murph: I think Riz is covered, hair matted down, he's got a bunch of blood all over him, has glass from the flipped van. I think is feeling sad right now, not for the same reasons. He kinda has an endless thirst for school and adventure and everything, so right now, he's just somberly looking out and thinking about the sacrifices of our dear friends Balthazar-

1:22:16 Emily: Fuck, and Squeem.

1:22:16 Murph: Duggan, Squeem.

1:22:19 Ally: Squeem!

1:22:20 Zac: Is Balthazar in the portrait?

1:22:24 Brennan: In the Night Yorb portrait? Make an Investigation check.

1:22:29 Zac: Nat 20.

1:22:30 Brennan: Are you serious?

1:22:30 Zac: Yeah.

1:22:32 Brennan: You got a nat 20 on Investigation?

1:22:33 Emily: Yeah.

1:22:35 Zac: Is he? You can tell me anything.

1:22:39 Brennan: I'm trying to think how to honor this nat 20.

1:22:42 Siobhan: Just a little guy.

1:22:42 Lou: Help!

1:22:45 Brennan: You look and you see two images of humanoid figures touching a line that seems to represent a point of reflection, each a shadow of the other, in the image of Balthazar, and there is a third Balthazar sitting on top of the image with legs crossed and hands out to either side.

1:23:05 Gorgug: He's doing okay.

1:23:06 Riz: Balthazar is everywhere now.

1:23:10 Fig: Balthazar?

1:23:10 Gorgug: [looking upward, pensively] Balthazar is all around us.

1:23:13 Riz: He's the wind in our hair.

1:23:13 Fig: Can you hear us?

1:23:15 Kristen: The father, the son, and the Balthazar.

1:23:18 Brennan: You hear a little thing,

1:23:18 Cassandra: How'd the battle go?

1:23:22 Fig: Kristen, you need to answer. She's blowing up my phone.

1:23:25 Kristen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

1:23:26 Fig: She keeps trying to make plans with me and asking if I can invite you.

1:23:31 Kristen: Damn, that's... Yeah.

1:23:33 Brennan: You see, sputtering from the engine, you see the Hangman says,

1:23:35 The Hangman: You did very well, sire [coughs]

1:23:38 Brennan: And coughs up a bunch... Raise your hand if you are under half hit points right now. Lou, Ally, Zac, and Siobhan raise their hands.

1:23:42 Lou: 4.

1:23:46 Siobhan: 9. Oh, 19.

1:23:47 Brennan: So more than half the party's under half hit points, and the Hangman and Hangvan. You see that the Hangman sputters up some gasoline, and you see that the Hangvan goes,

1:23:55 The Hangvan: Looks like we did it, gang. I feel that Night Yorb resting up on top of my-

1:24:02 Fabian: [sputtering] Can we say it now?

1:24:02 The Hangman: You can say it now. Night Yorb, Night Yorb, Night Yorb!

1:24:06 Gorgug: Night Yorb, Night Yorb, Night Yorb.

1:24:08 The Hangman: Yeah, it was when it was free, you know? That was the big problem.

1:24:10 Fabian: Night Yorb.

1:24:13 The Hangman: Believe me, no one hates you saying the Night Yorb more than me and that van.

1:24:19 Brennan: You see that the Hangvan says,

1:24:21 The Hangvan: Another one bagged and booked. Let's go. Way to go, gang. We did it.

1:24:27 Riz: Let's go, Photosynthe-kids!

1:24:28 Adaine: No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

1:24:31 Fig: Did anyone else feel like that was even harder than they expected?

1:24:37 Gorgug: And I also don't know why anything happened.

1:24:42 Riz: Those guys at the end just came out of nowhere.

1:24:45 Fabian: We almost had it that other time, and then it was like it got away, and then honestly, today I thought it was gonna get away.

1:24:52 Adaine: I think it was the Shard of the Day Yorb. I think that really did it.

1:24:53 Kristen: I think so too.

1:24:55 Ally: I go to sit down, and I sit on the broken glass of the mirror. [glass crackling]

1:24:59 Fig: [groans] Kristen!

1:25:01 Fabian: Is that window? Is that more window?

1:25:02 Fig: You need to keep a straight face.

1:25:03 Kristen: It was a little bit more window, I think.

1:25:05 Emily: I distract Fabian with another-

1:25:08 Ally: I sweep up the glass.

1:25:09 Siobhan: Damn, I hate to see her leave, but I love to watch her go.

1:25:13 Zac: That little… handle.

1:25:15 Ally: That little… handle?

1:25:18 Lou: [wagging his finger back and forth] It's just sashaying.

1:25:20 Riz: Fabian, I promise you, you can do better.

1:25:23 Fabian: I've just been so tired. I mean-

1:25:26 Fig: Can I just hypothetically ask?

1:25:28 Fabian: Yeah.

1:25:28 Fig: What would you guys have done with our summer vacation if we didn't have to save the world? [players collectively sigh]

1:25:35 Adaine: I think I might have got a job.

1:25:36 Fabian: Yeah, I would have gone to dance camp.

1:25:39 Fig: Camp?

1:25:40 Fabian: Yeah. There's this really cool dance camp. It's really aggressive and really intense.

1:25:44 Gorgug: Oh, I thought a guy named Dan had a camp.

1:25:46 Fabian: It is Dan's Dance Camp.

1:25:49 Riz: Dan's Camp.

1:25:49 Fabian: DDC.

1:25:52 Fig: Dan Camp's Dance-

1:25:53 Adaine: You've got to audition to get in, right?

1:25:55 Fabian: Yeah, and I did, and I did great, and then we had, you know-

1:25:57 Riz: What?

1:25:59 Fabian: You found the clues, and we were all-

1:26:01 Riz: Things worked out for the best! Because otherwise, we would all have been separated, and instead, we all got to spend the summer together.

1:26:07 Fig: Yeah, you know what? You're right. Cheers to this victory.

1:26:10 Adaine: Yeah, we spent it together, and now I don't have any money for the rest of the year.

1:26:15 Gorgug: I was gonna make some repairs on my van. Just kinda work on it.

1:26:21 Kristen: Kinda extra detail it.

1:26:21 Gorgug: Yeah.

1:26:23 Adaine: Well, I mean, it looks pretty detailed right now.

1:26:25 Kristen: Can I help you lift it up? I'm pretty buff now.

1:26:31 Lou: Everyone put a little shoulder into it.

1:26:33 Brennan: In the hot desert, everyone and the Hangman puts a shoulder into it.

1:26:35 All: One, two, three! [grunting]

1:26:38 Brennan: You right the van, and you head back to Solace. You have about 48 hours to get back across a couple different nations to get back in time.

1:26:50 Ally: We should have flown.

1:26:50 Emily: Do we even have time? Is this one of those road trips where someone always has to be driving?

1:26:55 Ally: Yeah.

1:26:56 Brennan: Someone always has to be driving.

1:26:59 Riz: I have some dry podcasts.

1:27:02 Gorgug: Dry?

1:27:02 Fig: Dry?

1:27:03 Kristen: I'd love to listen.

1:27:04 Fig: Oh, the Dry Guys. The Dry Guys.

1:27:06 Fabian: Dry Guys? Dry guys?

1:27:06 Kristen: You've got to listen to it.

1:27:09 Fabian: Put on the Dry Guys.

1:27:10 Riz: Their humor's actually pretty wet.

1:27:11 Kristen: They have a new one about-

1:27:13 The Dry Guys: [rasping] Welcome back to the Dry Guys, a podcast by mephits for mephits.

1:27:19 Kristen: I love this.

1:27:19 Zac: I put my headphones on.

1:27:22 Kristen: Oh, are you listening to a different episode?

1:27:24 Riz: We can put on your episode if you want.

1:27:25 Kristen: We can put on your episode if you want.

1:27:27 Gorgug: Oh.

1:27:28 Kristen: Which one did you wanna listen to?

1:27:30 Riz: Which episode of the Dry Guys?

1:27:31 Gorgug: Which one are you listening to?

1:27:32 Fig: You were on an episode?

1:27:33 Kristen: We're listening to the milk one.

1:27:34 Gorgug: The one that I was on.

1:27:35 Riz: The one about the history of milk?

1:27:36 Fig: You were a guest on the Dry Guys?

1:27:37 Gorgug: I was a guest on the Dry Guys, yeah.

1:27:39 Fabian: Put on Gorgug's episode!

1:27:39 Kristen: What?

1:27:40 Riz: Put on Gorgug's episode!

1:27:41 Gorgug: I'm not listening to anything. I'm just exhausted.

1:27:43 Riz: Wait, let's stop the van until we find Gorgug's episode.

1:27:46 Siobhan: I cast Fly on the van so the van can fly.

1:27:49 Ally: Oh, thank god.

1:27:51 Brennan: The Hangvan, just leaking and puffing and chugging along, smoke pouring out from under the hood-

1:27:57 Emily: [pantomimes holding a cigarette] And out of the window.

1:27:58 Brennan: Begins to just drive across the desert with all of you badly wounded and in silence, driving back to Solace. The Hangman is in the trunk, or in the back area, sort of rumbling.

1:28:15 Ally: I think I do a really halfhearted Prayer of Healing just because I don't trust you.

1:28:22 Murph: You're attacked by two Yorbies. Brennan begins to place the two, tactical Yorbie minis on the board.

1:28:24 All: No! [laughing]

1:28:26 Brennan: Good looking out, Beardsley. You gotta stay awake here in the dome, motherfuckers! [Brennan rapidly taps a finger against his temple, his eyes wide] 48 hours of straight driving. You drive all through the Red Waste, back through Highcourt, all the way up to the Baronies. The sun sets as you're driving on the highway. Bastion City, there's so much cool, fun stuff to do in Bastion City, and it's Sunday night. You have school tomorrow morning. So it's like, you can't even pull into, you can't even go to The Swan's Little Parade. You don't have time.

1:28:56 Ally: The Little Swan's Little Parade?

1:28:58 Fabian: [heartbroken] I was gonna show it to Ecaf! How do you say her name?

1:29:04 Zac: I think it's Ecaf.

1:29:04 Brennan: Ecaf.

1:29:06 Fabian: Yeah, I was gonna show it to her!

1:29:08 Brennan: Driving up through Bastion City, up the highway, and you arrive in Elmville. And as you arrive in beautiful Elmville, you're basically on empty. And at this point, Zaphriel can't even run the Hangvan anymore, so you pull into the Arkon gas station. It's so funny, because you're literally like 20 minutes from home, but you're just on the empty tank.

1:29:31 Emily: Ugh, and we have to get gas.

1:29:33 Brennan: You guys pull into a little gas station. There's a little convenience store inside. You're so close to home, it's just the gas station off the highway. As you're filling up, you guys look across the gas station and you see, next to the gas station, a little garage, and across the little parking lot is Krom's Diner, a diner you remember eating in two years ago in freshman year as you were spying on Johnny Spells and his gang. This is the gas station that that chase started at.

1:30:03 Emily: I have an armful of gas station food, but I see the diner and I'm like,

1:30:06 Fig: should we just-

1:30:09 Kristen: Let's eat something hot. I can't eat another piece of jerky.

1:30:13 Adaine: I think I need a cup of coffee-

1:30:14 Fig: Sir, I took all of these off the shelf. I don't know where they go.

1:30:15 Adaine: ...just to go to bed, you know what I mean? I'm that tired.

1:30:18 Kristen: I completely understand. You're so tired you're wired. So maybe if you get wired, you'll get tired.

1:30:22 Adaine: Exactly.

1:30:24 Brennan: It's like three AM. You guys walk into Krom's Diner, pile into a booth. Dusty, road-weary. It's been a couple days, so you're no longer injured. You see, walking up to you as you sit down, is Daisy Cubby, a little halfling waitress,

1:30:41 Daisy: [gentle voice] Well, hey there, kiddos! How's it going? Welcome to the diner. What can I getcha?

1:30:46 Adaine: Hi, Daisy.

1:30:46 Daisy: Oh, it's so good to see ya. Hey, I know it's night right now, but it was great to see days these last two days. Hooray, hooray! You did it!

1:30:54 All: Thanks.

1:30:54 Fig: Thank you.

1:30:56 Kristen: I'll get potatoes four ways.

1:30:58 Daisy: Okay, potatoes four ways. Great.

1:31:00 Fabian: I'll do an egg white omelet with a side of cottage cheese.

1:31:05 Fig: I will also get... Actually, I'll get a plate of cottage cheese.

1:31:09 Kristen: Can I switch mine? That's so much protein. I'll do a platter of cottage cheese.

1:31:14 Daisy: Platter of cottage cheese.

1:31:15 Adaine: Can I get a chocolate chip waffle a la mode?

1:31:17 Kristen: With cottage cheese?

1:31:17 Daisy: Sure thing.

1:31:18 Adaine: With cottage cheese on top.

1:31:20 Fig: Can I get my cottage cheese a la mode?

1:31:22 Daisy: Yeah, ice cream with the cottage cheese. Yeah, for sure.

1:31:24 Gorgug: Can I get a pile of brown with gravy all over it?

1:31:28 Daisy: Pile of brown with gravy, you got it.

1:31:29 Gorgug: And some cottage cheese.

1:31:29 Daisy: Cottage cheese. Yeah, great.

1:31:30 Riz: I'll do pancakes and waffles, but also French toast, cottage cheese a la mode.

1:31:34 Daisy: Cottage cheese a la mode, gotcha. A la mode, okay.

1:31:37 Fabian: I'll have my cottage cheese a la mode as well.

1:31:39 Daisy: [cloying] I knew you would, I knew you would. I remember, you've always been big ol' ice cream heads, ever since we first met. Well, that's great. Okay, I'll go get those orders started. You look like you've had a hard time. A little bit late for... You got school in the morning, right? Tomorrow's-

1:31:56 Adaine: Yeah, we just got back.

1:31:56 Daisy: Okay, all right.

1:31:59 Kristen: School in… [mimics checking watch] four hours.

1:32:02 Adaine: I mean, we might as well just stay up, right?

1:32:04 Riz: [cheerfully] Yeah.

1:32:04 Fig: All right.

1:32:05 Adaine: You guys just wanna stay up?

1:32:07 Gorgug: Riz.

1:32:07 Fabian: Riz. Riz.

1:32:09 Riz: What? It's fun! We're hanging out!

1:32:11 Gorgug: Is it fun?

1:32:14 Riz: Why would you wanna go to sleep?

1:32:15 Brennan: You guys have a lovely three AM dinner at Krom's Diner.

1:32:20 Emily: I'm getting equal parts cottage cheese and ice cream with every bite.

1:32:24 Ally: I'm so bummed I didn't do ice cream but I did more cottage cheese for the a la mode.

1:32:28 Fabian: You can have some of mine.

1:32:28 Kristen: Really?

1:32:29 Fabian: Yes.

1:32:29 Kristen: Oh my gosh, thank you.

1:32:32 Brennan: You guys actually look out and see, once again, you see the gas station with the garage and are like, oh yeah, we discovered a palimpsest in there. That was the first palimpsest we found, that's right.

1:32:43 Adaine: Bud Cubby talked to us about anarcho-communism.

1:32:47 Fabian: Remember when we were in prison?

1:32:48 Adaine: No, I'm too tired.

1:32:51 Brennan: After you guys eat, you should figure out who you're dropping off at home first, and… Brennan holds up a folded, paper map of Elmville. He passes it to Zac. …welcome to Elmville. For our driver, go ahead and open that up.

1:32:59 Lou: Wow.

1:32:59 Siobhan: Whoa!

1:33:02 Lou: A map.

1:33:02 Siobhan: A map?

1:33:03 Brennan: You guys have a map of Elmville now. Zac unfolds the map.

1:33:05 Emily: Whoa!

1:33:05 Siobhan: That's gorgeous!

1:33:07 Emily: What if it just said fuck you, Zac?

1:33:10 Zac: It says, "Fuck you, Zac," in beautiful writing.

1:33:15 Emily: Whoa!

1:33:15 Ally: Sick.

1:33:17 Brennan: Okay, we come back, the grass of Aguefort not far away, Owlbears in front of us. As you finish your three AM meal at Krom's Diner, tons of cottage cheese, a couple hours before you need to be at school, how's everyone getting home from the diner?

1:33:33 Siobhan: Me, Kristen, and Fig can just walk to Mordred Manor, 'cause it's literally across the street.

1:33:38 Brennan: Yeah, it's like an eight minute walk.

1:33:39 Emily: We've been in a car long enough.

1:33:40 Siobhan: Yeah, I need to get some fresh air.

1:33:42 Ally: Yeah, let’s do it.

1:33:43 Emily: And it stinks in there at this point.

1:33:46 Siobhan: Tuna farts.

1:33:47 Brennan: Where's the Hangvan headed off to and the Hangman?

1:33:49 Zac: Oh gosh, should I just go to school early?

1:33:53 Siobhan: Park in the parking lot.

1:33:53 Zac: I guess I'll go home.

1:33:54 Emily: Are you gonna tailgate school?

1:33:55 Murph: Should we just wait in the parking lot at school? Then we don't have to get ready. We can just sleep in the van.

1:33:59 Zac: Yeah.

1:33:59 Siobhan: Your clothes are gone.

1:34:03 Zac: I'll look in the back to see if there's an extra hoodie or something.

1:34:07 Riz: I guess our parents might want to confirm that we're alive.

1:34:11 Gorgug: I think I'm gonna stop by my house.

1:34:14 Fabian: Are you guys close? I can give somebody a ride.

1:34:18 Riz: I'm right next to Gorgug's place.

1:34:20 Fabian: Okay.

1:34:21 Fig: Right, you can peel off at any point.

1:34:22 Fabian: Yeah, I'll just go home.

1:34:25 Adaine: You wanna stay at our place?

1:34:26 Fig: No, no, I need to-

1:34:26 Kristen: We have so many beds.

1:34:28 Fabian: No, I need to tell my parents I'm alive, all those sorts of things. Can I just ask one thing before I go?

1:34:34 Kristen: Yeah.

1:34:35 Fabian: Ecaf. Did she say anything about me before she wandered off into the desert?

1:34:44 Fig: Yeah, she did. I didn't wanna tell you because I thought it would compound your pain, but I can tell you, in all truth, she said, “This was supposed to be an in and out deal, but I got involved. I got involved and I regret it. I regret everything.”

1:35:07 Adaine: That's a long monologue.

1:35:08 Kristen: She did, she kinda gave a whole- Honestly, I was there. I heard it.

1:35:12 Fig: It was long.

1:35:13 Gorgug: You were knocked out for a little while.

1:35:15 Riz: You were knocked out for a bit.

1:35:17 Kristen: You were out cold.

1:35:18 Brennan: You wanna Insight this, Fabian? Insight. Give me Deception.

1:35:22 Murph: We're helping.

1:35:26 Emily: 19 without help. And an 18, so 19 becomes a 32.

1:35:33 Brennan: 32. How's Fabian doing over there?

1:35:36 Lou: 7?

1:35:39 Brennan: Fig, as always, would never lead you astray. She is giving you the gospel fucking truth.

1:35:44 Fig: She was working for the Night Yorb, and she stuck around longer than she meant to, and then just seeing the Night Yorb get sealed, she actually said she felt a little betrayed by you, weirdly.

1:35:55 Kristen: Yeah, isn't that fucked up?

1:35:58 Fabian: That is fucked up.

1:35:58 Fig: Yeah.

1:36:00 Fabian: You know what, maybe it's best that we went our separate ways.

1:36:03 Adaine: You know what? You're better than her. You're so much better than her.

1:36:05 Kristen: That mirror was a turncoat.

1:36:05 Fabian: You guys, don't.

1:36:08 Fig: She also, as she was walking away, let out a really small but smelly toot.

1:36:16 Kristen: Yeah!

1:36:16 Fabian: She tooted?

1:36:18 Kristen: Out of the handle, the tip. A little bit of water came out like it had been submerged earlier, and it was gross.

1:36:28 Fabian: This all happened? All these things happened?

1:36:31 Kristen: All these things happened.

1:36:32 Gorgug: A little bit of water came out.

1:36:35 Kristen: A little bit of water came out of her base, dude. It was nasty.

1:36:39 Fig: It was a different side than I'd seen of her, but it also felt like her true self.

1:36:44 Kristen: Yeah, you know, yeah, that's real.

1:36:46 Fig: Mask was off, and it was ugly under there.

1:36:49 Kristen: And she just-

1:36:50 Fig: She was literally two-faced, right? Because you know how she had a reflective side on both.

1:36:55 Kristen: She's a narcissist, dude.

1:36:55 Fabian: Yeah, that as well.

1:36:57 Adaine: Absolutely. She's the narcissist.

1:37:00 Fabian: She's the narcissist and she's two-faced, and I don't need no wet, drippy toots.

1:37:08 Kristen: Exactly, man, exactly!

1:37:08 Ally: We're gassing you up.

1:37:11 Fabian: You know what? [mimics engine revving]

1:37:13 The Hangman: Sire!

1:37:13 Fabian: I'm going home! Let's ride!

1:37:15 The Hangman: Let's ride! We're off! We will find people with mouths to kiss!

1:37:20 Fabian: There it is! Fuck that mirror!

1:37:24 Brennan: And you tear off! Fabian tears off.

1:37:26 Ally: Can I do a Medicine check on what's left of the mirror, actually, back in the van, now that he's gone?

1:37:31 Brennan: Yes, absolutely.

1:37:31 Emily: If you fix this-

1:37:33 Siobhan: Can I cast Mending?

1:37:34 Emily: ...we're gonna have so much explaining to do.

1:37:36 Ally: That's an 18.

1:37:37 Brennan: 18. Do you have the Mending spell?

1:37:39 Siobhan: I have the Mending spell. I'll use the Mending spell as a help action.

1:37:43 Emily: Wait, really? We can bring her back? I thought she was dead and we needed to-

1:37:46 Adaine: I don't think we wanna bring her back. She did suck.

1:37:48 Gorgug: I wonder if she's good for him.

1:37:51 Adaine: I don't think she is. I feel like she feeds his worst instincts.

1:37:54 Riz: Wait, if we could just bring her back, though, this feels wrong.

1:37:56 Fig: I agree. We have to bring her back.

1:37:57 Gorgug: I think we should bring her back.

1:37:58 Fig: If I had known! I just talked myself into-

1:38:01 Kristen: You're right, and that was beautiful.

1:38:03 Adaine: Right, but maybe if we bring her back, we have to-

1:38:06 Ally: Okay, you Mend her-

1:38:06 Siobhan: Oh, wait! Actually, I don't have-

1:38:07 Ally: ...and I'll banish her.

1:38:08 Siobhan: I'm wrong, I don't have Mending, because I took Booming Blade instead.

1:38:12 Zac: I have Mending.

1:38:12 Ally: Great.

1:38:13 Emily: You have Mending?

1:38:14 Zac: Gorgug's gonna just kind of take out some stuff and just kinda put the mirror back together.

1:38:21 Brennan: Ecaf is Mended. (Ecaf gasps)

1:38:24 Fig: Oh no.

1:38:26 Gorgug: Hi.

1:38:26 Ecaf: Oh no, we've failed.

1:38:28 Gorgug: No, we did it.

1:38:28 Riz: No, it's just regular night.

1:38:30 Ecaf: Oh. Oh!

1:38:30 Kristen: Do you have a big bag?

1:38:33 Adaine: I can just put it in my pocket. [to Ecaf] You wanna go on an adventure in an unexplored world?

1:38:37 Kristen: Hey, girlie! Hey, girlie!

1:38:37 Ecaf: [to Adaine] Go on an adventure? [looks over to Kristen]

1:38:41 Adaine: In an unexplored world.

1:38:41 Ecaf: [to Kristen] Wait, what's your energy?

1:38:43 Kristen: Hey, girlie!

1:38:43 Ally: I'm walking towards her. This is me to my dog every morning.

1:38:46 Kristen: Girlie!

1:38:49 Ecaf: Please, the energy is horrifying.

1:38:51 Zac: I'm holding Kristen's waist, being dragged forward.

1:38:53 Brennan: She's gonna bolt from whatever Kristen is doing.

1:38:56 Kristen: Come on, girlie!

1:38:56 Brennan: She goes into your pocket and disappears into the Jacket of Useful Things.

1:39:00 Adaine: Okay, great, well, that'll never come back to bite us in the ass.

1:39:02 Riz: Let's never speak of this again. This never happened.

1:39:04 Fig: Wait, maybe we should shatter her.

1:39:06 Adaine: She's already in the jacket!

1:39:06 Riz: Why? She's gone!

1:39:08 Fig: Because someday it's gonna ruin my friendship with Fabian, and I'm never gonna say this to his face because I'm too cool, but I fucking value my friendship with Fabian!

1:39:18 Ally: I reach my hand in the coat.

1:39:18 Kristen: Hey, girlie! Gorgug slaps at Kristen’s arm.

1:39:23 Adaine: Wow, you are so deep in there.

1:39:26 Kristen: Girlie!

1:39:26 Gorgug: Kristen.

1:39:29 Brennan: True Skeksis behavior. These fucking nightmares.

1:39:33 Siobhan: We have been awake for so long.

1:39:34 Ally: My shoulder unhooks.

1:39:34 Kristen: Girlie!

1:39:35 Siobhan: The only sleep we've had is car sleep in two days. Actually, more than that, 'cause we took the Hangvan to the desert.

1:39:41 Fig: You know what, you all joined me in that lie, okay?

1:39:44 Kristen: I pinky promise.

1:39:46 Fig: Pinkies in. No one says a word of this.

1:39:47 Adaine: Pinkies in. No touching.

1:39:47 Riz: I think we're all okay to make sure our friend doesn't fall in love with a mirror. At the end of the day, we need to remember that she's a mirror.

1:39:57 Kristen: She's a narcissist.

1:39:57 Adaine: She's a narcissist.

1:39:59 Riz: That's not as much the problem. She's a mirror, right? So that's the thing, and it's fine.

1:40:07 Kristen: She's not good for him, 'cause she's a mirror, and she's a narcissist.

1:40:09 Riz: She's not good for him.

1:40:12 Gorgug: She's a freaking narcissist.

1:40:12 Fig: She’s not good for him because she’s a narcissist.

1:40:12 Kristen: And a leaky-

1:40:16 Riz: That was a lie.

1:40:16 Kristen: She's got leaky guts.

1:40:18 Adaine: All of those were lies.

1:40:20 Murph: Riz jumps shotgun into the Hangvan.

1:40:24 Gorgug: See you guys at school in 35 minutes.

1:40:26 Brennan: So the first person to get home is Fabian, who tears off on the Hangman. You get up to Seacaster Manor and you see that some lights are on.

1:40:36 Lou: Normally they're asleep. Anyway, I'll step inside.

1:40:41 Brennan: You step inside and see some suitcases packed up near the front door. There's a bunch of them, big- sort of a set of luggage, a matching set of luggage. And coming downstairs you see, in a beautiful travel gown, mantle, this wide hat, your mother Hallariel, her sword at her side.

1:41:00 Hallariel: Fabian! Oh, beautiful boy!

1:41:00 Fabian: Oh, Mama. Good to see you.

1:41:05 Hallariel: I thought we were going to miss you! I knew that school was starting tomorrow. We delayed it as long as we could.

1:41:10 Fabian: I'm sorry? Yes, it was-

1:41:13 Hallariel: How was it? You saved the world!

1:41:14 Fabian: We saved the world, yes.

1:41:16 Brennan: She holds your hands and shakes them.

1:41:17 Hallariel: Oh, you saved the world!

1:41:17 Fabian: Yes, yes, yes. Where are you going?

1:41:22 Hallariel: Well, you wouldn't believe it, but...

1:41:25 Brennan: You see, walking from the corner, comb over and a little silken, short-sleeved button-up, but you see that it actually is looking a little bit ironed, Gilear Faeth walks out. He says,

1:41:38 Gilear: Oh, Fabian. You're not going to believe this. I was accosted in a convenience mart during a robbery.

1:41:52 Fabian: You were being robbed, or...?

1:41:54 Gilear: No, the convenience mart, and I was punched about the head and shoulders, but immediately after that, someone knocked over a sort of scratch-off, and some fell into my pockets, and I won a cruise in a raffle.

1:42:12 Fabian: Oh. What a fabulous stroke of luck.

1:42:17 Gilear: Yes, a stroke of luck. It is delightful to know the kiss of fortune.

1:42:26 Fabian: Yes.

1:42:28 Gilear: So, your mother and I won this cruise. It's a couple weeks.

1:42:36 Brennan: You see Hallariel says,

1:42:36 Hallariel: So of course, darling, I said, well, let's let this be the kickoff of a journey as, you know, we are…

1:42:47 Brennan: You see that she shows a ring on her finger. Your mother says,

1:42:51 Hallariel: Gilear finally proposed.

1:42:54 Fabian: Oh. Good on you, Gilear.

1:42:58 Gilear: Thank you, Fabian. I appreciate your counsel. And congratulations as well on defeating the Night Yorb.

1:43:06 Fabian: Yes, it was a grand adventure. I was kind of hoping...

1:43:14 Hallariel: Hoping what, darling?

1:43:15 Fabian: No, it's- I just feel bad, you know? The whole summer, gone.

1:43:21 Hallariel: Oh, my sweet pea, my little poppet. (smooching) I know that your father would be so proud of how much you've done and the amazing things you've done on your adventures, and after all, rest and relaxation, you'll have time for those later. You're still... (sighs) I know I'm going to sound just like your father. You're still writing your name on the face of the world with your heroic deeds.

1:43:47 Fabian: Another day, another deed.

1:43:49 Hallariel: Another day, another deed! We'll be gone for a couple months.

1:43:52 Fabian: Oh.

1:43:54 Hallariel: Might extend the trip a little past that, unclear. There are some reservations but, you know, basically, we're newlyweds, and there's a long... You know, Gilear and I will be married for hundreds and hundreds of years so, you know, it's time to kick things off.

1:44:09 Fabian: Yeah. Are you taking all of the staff with you? None of the staff? What's-

1:44:12 Hallariel: Oh no, no no!

1:44:14 Fabian: Am I just here?

1:44:14 Hallariel: Well, that's exactly it. Also, you've turned 18, and congratulations!

1:44:21 Fabian: Thank you.

1:44:22 Hallariel: There's, I think, a couple dozen gifts up in your room, so they're all packaged and ready to go. There's an account on one of the crystal screens in the kitchen, just order food and it'll be here.

1:44:33 Fabian: Okay.

1:44:33 Hallariel: So that'll be food, and there's a list of contacts if anything happens with Seacaster Manor. Just contact one of them, and it's attached to the account, and you turned 18, so you've started to... One of your trusts has opened.

1:44:50 Fabian: Yes, okay. So, more money.

1:44:55 Hallariel: More money.

1:44:55 Fabian: And my money.

1:44:57 Hallariel: It is now your money.

1:44:57 Fabian: It's my money now.

1:44:59 Hallariel: It's your money now, absolutely.

1:45:02 Fabian: Okay, well, I mean, it was good to see you guys.

1:45:05 Hallariel: I love you, my sweet boy! Of course! And honestly, this is going to be very fun. You have the run of Seacaster Manor. You are the man of the house.

1:45:14 Fabian: I promise not to get too rowdy.

1:45:16 Hallariel: Yes, there'd better not be any parties while we're gone, young man!

1:45:21 Fabian: I promise, I'm not my papa's son.

1:45:24 Hallariel: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You should be. He was a great man, and I know you will be too. And I know that you will do well in this wonderful school year ahead.

1:45:34 Fabian: Yes, of course.

1:45:34 Hallariel: Of course, of course. Well, we are going to be gone for a couple months or a year. (Emily laughing) That's a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things.

1:45:47 Fabian: It'll just pass like that, and then you'll be back.

1:45:49 Hallariel: And we'll have our crystals, and we'll have an extension for the outside world. So just, you know, contact us if you need anything, my sweet baby.

1:45:58 Fabian: Yes! Are you thinking about, maybe I could come join you at some point?

1:46:03 Hallariel: That sounds so fun! We'll fly you out.

1:46:05 Fabian: Yes, maybe for the holidays or something, you know?

1:46:08 Hallariel: Yes! Oh, what a lovely idea. We'll fly you out for the holidays.

1:46:11 Fabian: Okay, yes.

1:46:12 Hallariel: Seacaster Manor, again, all yours, and we're heading to the airport.

1:46:18 Brennan: You see Gilear looks at his crystal and says,

1:46:20 Gilear: Oh, I've been randomly selected for a transport credit.

1:46:28 Fabian: Okay.

1:46:29 Gilear: All right, 10% off on the trip to the aeroport. All right. Well.

1:46:36 Fabian: More kisses from fortune for you, I guess!

1:46:38 Gilear: Yes.

1:46:40 Fabian: Watch out, Mama! She might steal him.

1:46:45 Hallariel: I'd like to see Lady Fortune try. I would cut her to ribbons with my blade. Have such a good time, my darling boy! (both smooching)

1:46:54 Fabian: Yes, yes.

1:46:56 Hallariel: And we would stay. I'm so glad we got to catch you before we had to rush to the airport. You know that I love you with all of my heart. This is going to be a very special year for you.

1:47:05 Fabian: And you.

1:47:09 Hallariel: And again, oh, this is the number.

1:47:12 Brennan: She hands you a little business card.

1:47:13 Hallariel: This is the number if you want to talk to the trust, because there's different ways, if you want the money all in one sum it's a little bit less than if you get it, da da da…

1:47:25 Fabian: Stuff for tomorrow. I'm exhausted. It's nonstop, so I'm gonna go take a nap before school.

1:47:32 Hallariel: All right, we're heading to the airport. Love you, sweetie!

1:47:33 Fabian: Love you.

1:47:34 Hallariel: Goodbye.

1:47:35 Brennan: You see Gilear and Hallariel walk out the front door, and you turn around and look at Seacaster Manor. (introspective instrumental)

1:47:44 Fabian: All right. It's all mine. I'm gonna go get a glass of milk.

1:48:00 Brennan: Give me an Investigation check to find out where your fridge is.

1:48:03 Lou: That's a 15.

1:48:05 Brennan: You walk into the kitchen. It's so huge in here. There are multiple islands and a couple of stoves. You walk in and yeah, you find a fridge, and there's four full cartons of milk off to the side.

1:48:21 Fabian: Now where the hell are the glasses?

1:48:25 Brennan: Give me an Investigation for glasses.

1:48:28 Lou: Even better, 16. I've poured a glass of milk for myself before.

1:48:33 Brennan: You get a glass of milk.

1:48:35 Fabian: Okay. Well, should be fun, should be fun. I guess I'll go upstairs, check out the gifts.

1:48:42 Brennan: You go upstairs. Just extravagant clothing and jewelry, shoes. There's some daggers. It's just cool masterwork stuff. There's stuff for your room. There's a beautiful gilded pirate steering wheel that you can hang as art. You see there's a couple barrels in the corner, huge rain barrels.

1:49:02 Lou: Oh. I'll pop one.

1:49:03 Brennan: There is a pirate with an accordion hiding in the barrel.

1:49:06 P: Now?

1:49:07 Fabian: What?

1:49:07 P: Now?

1:49:08 Fabian: Sure.

1:49:09 P: ♪ Well, it's a happy birthday for Fabian Seacaster ♪

1:49:14 Brennan: Two other pirates jump out of the other two barrels and play a little happy birthday ditty.

1:49:18 Siobhan: Three accordions?

1:49:18 Brennan: Three accordions. And then jump back into their barrels and replace the lids.

1:49:24 Fabian: Okay. One more time, just for fun.

1:49:27 P: ♪ Well, it's a happy birthday for Fabian Seacaster ♪

1:49:32 Fabian: A whole year of this!

1:49:35 P: Our shifts replace at nine AM and nine PM.

1:49:39 Fabian: Okay, great.

1:49:40 P: So there'll be other pirates in here. But we're here for the full year.

1:49:43 Fabian: All right.

1:49:44 P: Until the next birthday.

1:49:44 Fabian: Great.

1:49:46 P: Whenever you wanna hear Happy Birthday, you just open the barrel.

1:49:48 Fabian: You don't play anything else?

1:49:49 P: No.

1:49:51 Fabian: Are there other... Could I ask you... I mean, you're here for a year. Is it much more to have you learn another song?

1:49:57 P: I know other songs, but the service is only Happy Birthday.

1:50:01 Fabian: Oh, all right.

1:50:03 P: You can get, because we're paid for by a sort of subscription service, so-

1:50:09 Fabian: Can I ask for variations? Could you do the same song, but more kind of atonal and kind of melodic?

1:50:20 P: I need to talk to my union rep.

1:50:24 Fabian: Cool, well, you get on that. You guys can stay in here. I'm gonna take a nap before school. Actually, can you set an alarm?

1:50:30 P: We can't do other things.

1:50:30 Fabian: Come on!

1:50:33 P: We can only do Happy Birthday.

1:50:35 Fabian: Will you just play the song-

1:50:35 P: I'm gonna go call my rep.

1:50:37 Brennan: You see he walks out.

1:50:39 Emily: They're striking outside of your house.

1:50:44 Brennan: Fabian, you put a little business card on the side of your desk and you hit the hay. Gorgug, you drop Riz off at Strongtower Luxury Apartments. Riz, you walk back into Strongtower. How do you walk back into your apartment? Do you try to do it quietly? Do you do...?

1:51:02 Murph: I have a feeling there's a good chance Mom's burning the midnight oil, so I think I open it kind of hoping for her to be awake.

1:51:13 Brennan: Lights are on. You open the door. (jazz noir) You see her mom has her head on some legal books. She's fast asleep, and her hand is holding a cup of coffee. There's some old coffee in a pot. You see she's got a big board with yarn and stuff on it, but it's all concerning a legal case. You see that she's got lawyer's textbooks up, and stuff like that.

1:51:37 Murph: I guess my curiosity is piqued. Can I take a look at the board? If I'm seeing a board with strings on it, what am I supposed to do?

1:51:44 Brennan: Yeah, give me a little Investigation check.

1:51:45 Murph: Okay, Riz was getting sleepy, but now he's kinda waking up. Investigation is a 30.

1:51:52 Brennan: Ooh!

1:51:52 Murph: Natural 19.

1:51:54 Brennan: Natural 19; it's a 30. You see that this is a defense case that she's building for one of the organizers of the Frosty Fair Folk Festival. The Frosty Fair Folk Festival is a recurring festival of folk music and Sylvan music and jams that happens in a different location in Elmville every year. It's where a lot of firbolg and gnomes and druids and rangers all come together and have a little jam with bards and other stuff like that. And you see that there are- she's basically defending someone who's being accused of embezzlement and is being tried and convicted for basically theft from running the festival. (snoring) What's that? Oh!

1:52:44 Riz: (whispering) Hey, Mom.

1:52:46 Sklonda: Hey. Oh no. No no no, I fell asleep.

1:52:50 Riz: That's all right. It's late.

1:52:50 Sklonda: You're back! I knew you did it because of the sun.

1:52:54 Riz: Hey, Mom.

1:52:54 Sklonda: You did it. Way to go, kiddo.

1:52:55 Murph: I give her a hug. (Brennan smooching)

1:52:57 Riz: Missed you.

1:52:58 Sklonda: Missed you so much. I'm glad you're home. (yawning) Are you beat? Do you need to sleep?

1:53:04 Riz: Yeah, I'll probably try to get a couple hours.

1:53:07 Sklonda: Okay.

1:53:08 Riz: But it was awesome. I'm really excited.

1:53:09 Sklonda: You did it, huh?

1:53:09 Riz: Yeah, we did it.

1:53:10 Sklonda: How'd it go? Did you kill it, did you seal it?

1:53:13 Riz: Well, here's the thing, is that we thought we had it, right? And then at the very end, these two guys popped up out of the ground, and I thought we were done for, but I turned around and (clicks tongue) dead-eyed 'em.

1:53:24 Sklonda: Wow. What happened to the other guy?

1:53:26 Riz: He hit himself with this crossbow. It was so tactical. He came up and... Yeah.

1:53:34 Sklonda: Wow, wow. Okay, so the one guy kinda missed his moment, got too-

1:53:39 Riz: One guy was a lot more competent, maybe-

1:53:41 Sklonda: Than the other guy, gotcha.

1:53:42 Riz: Than the other guy. But that guy-

1:53:43 Sklonda: But you got him. You saved your friends, like you always do. Look at you. Oh my god. I feel like- you've only been gone a couple months, but you look so much older. You look a lot like your dad, sweetie.

1:53:53 Riz: Thanks, Mom. Thanks.

1:53:56 Sklonda: This is nice. I like this new hair and the sideburns and everything. It's very- this is very good.

1:54:02 Riz: Thank you, thank you.

1:54:02 Sklonda: Very good. So, hey. This came up a couple weeks ago. I'm sorry, I'm really sleepy right now, but I've just got to talk to you about it, 'cause I thought I might get you a couple days before, we would have time to do it over lunch, but tomorrow's the first day of school, so I've kinda just got to tell you right now. When I quit the department, I was under the impression that some of my pension would be transferring with me, and they've been fighting me on that, and it looks like that's sort of gonna be an open and shut...

1:54:44 Riz: Okay. I'm sorry, Mom.

1:54:45 Sklonda: It's all right, sweetie. Which makes college stuff really tricky. And it makes, sort of, you know, if there are rogues' guilds you wanna join or if there are anything, you know, there are colleges or universities that you wanna go to-

1:55:10 Riz: Right, yeah, well, you know, I'm good at... My grades are good. I think I'll be able to... The real thing is, you know, figuring out what adventuring academy we're all gonna be able to get into. 'Cause, like, me and Adaine's grades are really good, but I gotta look out for everybody, you know what I mean?

1:55:37 Sklonda: Sweetie, your friends are the sweetest, most good-hearted kids that I know. And not all of them are in the same situation that you're in. And that's not their fault. It's just reality, right? You know, Fabian's never gonna have to worry. The Thistlesprings own their tree, you know? I don't know what Adaine's situation is, but I know that her parents were very wealthy before she killed her dad.

1:56:09 Riz: Yeah, totally. (Emily laughs)

1:56:13 Sklonda: So I don't know. Actually, that's up in the air for me, kind of. But what I would say is, your grades are perfect. You have perfect grades, and that still might not be enough. I have some stuff from Aguefort about extracurriculars. I just wanna let you know that I'm gonna do everything I can to set you up for a good life. And that it's not really fair, but that you might have to work extra hard. And there's some colleges or even just higher institutions, if you wanted to go try to find a job that- or just gonna look at some of that stuff. And I don't wanna put any more pressure on you than you already put on yourself, but you might have to look at some extracurriculars as a way to guarantee, because if you don't... Scholarships are gonna probably be really important.

1:57:09 Riz: Yeah. Mom, pressure is kinda my thing. It's fun. It's gonna be a fun year. (Lou groaning)

1:57:24 Sklonda: I love you so much, kiddo. I have a bunch of pamphlets here. There's different places you can apply to, both with universities and stuff that Aguefort offers. There's a lot of clubs. This is your junior year. This is crunch time, in a lot of ways.

1:57:36 Riz: I'm gonna set up a board. I'm gonna set up a board.

1:57:39 Sklonda: Uh-oh, there's my kiddo.

1:57:39 Riz: We're doing it!

1:57:43 Sklonda: I really love you, and I wanna make sure that I do everything that I can to get you-

1:57:48 Riz: Mom, you already have. We got it.

1:57:53 Sklonda: You do everything for other people, and I wanna make sure that you don't get your heart broken. So just make sure that you... [sighs] You gotta take care of yourself, okay?

1:58:11 Riz: Yeah.

1:58:15 Sklonda: I love you.

1:58:16 Riz: Love you too, Mom.