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Yonder Where the Fruit Do Be Lyin'
What happens
- 00:00:44 Matt welcomes viewers to episode three; the players are named and Matt recaps that the group was sent by the Architects to deal with a political figure coming down the Glucian Road from the Ceresian direction.
- 00:01:54 The ambush site: a space on the road just north of the nearest crossroads, with blueberry trees, large oranges on strawberry-grass hills, a grape juice river and a single root-stone bridge. Quichéi says there is "about a day" to prepare.
- 00:02:47 The group plans the ambush: scout ahead, a decoy emergency, felling a tree to cut off the road, using the hill. Deli's Perception (natural 20) surveys the land; blueberry trees are thick and easy to cut, the river is strong, the hills are loose.
- 00:09:11 Matt explains how the Ceresian armies fight (phalanx tactics) against Meat Land skirmish and guerrilla fighting.
- 00:10:18 Quichéi picks out Colin and proposes a rider to scout the road; Karna offers to scout if someone brings her a body; Colin volunteers to scout.
- 00:13:47 Karna offers Colin the water-steel dagger; he declines and says he does not love magic pointed at him.
- 00:14:43 The arrival window is "a few hours" (three or four); Raphaniel gives Colin a Bardic Inspiration.
- 00:16:17 Matt hands out the minis; the group builds the trap: Deli and Quichéi fell a tree to lean on a second one, Karna blasts the hillside loose to free a large orange, blueberries are hauled up the hill.
- 00:18:49 Raphaniel's Investigation (18) on the blueberries: they are the type used for the pillars beneath the Great Pyramid of Food.
- 00:22:12 Deli tries a lemon (Survival 14) and it is judged too heavy; positions are set: Amangeaux and Raphaniel on the hill, Deli and Quichéi at the felled tree, Karna on the hillside.
- 00:26:20 Dusk falls; a telepathic message from Karna startles Deli and Colin, who think the enemy has arrived; Colin rides out on a starfruit.
- 00:29:36 Colin waits about an hour and a quarter, then spies a Watermelon Carriage pulled by cherries with two riders and rides back to report.
- 00:34:59 Preparations: Amangeaux gets within 30 feet to look; Karna prepares a ritual Silence on the bridge; Raphaniel casts Heroism on himself and Amangeaux.
- 00:37:47 The carriage descends; Amangeaux sees five figures inside; Deli and Quichéi drop the tree on the lead cherries.
- 00:40:34 Initiative. Round one: Quichéi attacks a rider; Amangeaux Mind Slivers the hooded figure; Raphaniel's Shatter brings down the hill and an orange blocks the road; Colin stabs an ax-wielding sentry with his Longsword of Wounding; Karna blasts a signaller; a spear-and-shield guardian steps out of the carriage and the crossbowmen in the windows open fire.
- 00:53:37 A banana man in a rowboat drifts into the fight (Silence keeps him deaf); Deli throws a sentry into the river.
- 01:00:45 Quichéi and Amangeaux kill the ax sentry, who falls into the river; Raphaniel leaps off the bridge after Amangeaux and lands prone; Colin kills the banana man and takes his lantern.
- 01:12:02 Karna turns invisible, drops Silence and frightens a charging sentry; the spear guardian shield-slams an orange toward Raphaniel; Amangeaux's Silvery Barbs.
- 01:17:50 Deli kicks the carriage door in and finds Queen Pamela Rocks inside with three royal guards; he wounds her; she says "Delissandro? Why?".
- 01:22:48 The Queen and guards respond; Quichéi climbs in through a window and wounds the frosty guard; Raphaniel's Subtle Spell Shatter hits the carriage interior.
- 01:30:46 Pamela survives the save but not the damage; Brennan narrates Raphaniel's horror; the Queen "detonates"; Raphaniel has a vision of darkness and blades.
- 01:35:20 Colin takes thunder damage and is sprayed; Karna kills a guard with a stiletto; Colin pushes another into the river; Deli kills the last royal guard; Quichéi kills the guard in the boat; the gummy bear knight attacks Raphaniel, then asks to be finished and Karna drains him with the water-steel dagger.
- 01:50:11 The group realises the target was the Queen of Candia; Quichéi says it is not the first high-ranking official he has taken out for them.
- 01:51:36 Hooves above; Quichéi hides the group in a crevasse; a voice on the road ("Canadian:") cries "My God, they were attacked." and a horn sounds; Detect Thoughts on Quichéi.
- 01:55:17 A rustle in the bushes: a four-foot mold creature with a skull mask flees; Karna blasts it, Deli kills it; a satchel of rotted scraps.
- 02:03:01 Quichéi, Deli and Colin find a cavern with glowing roots; Colin balks and stays outside while Deli and Quichéi go in (02:04:09); Deli touches one and feels thousands of minds.
- 02:07:21 Raphaniel casts Detect Thoughts on the wall and is told "Welcome. You must go. Tell no one."; he collapses.
- 02:10:55 The group rides through the night to Comida and goes beneath the Pyramid, where masked Architects wait; their speaker unmasks as Archbishop Camille Colliflour and explains the Sanctus Putris' creed.
- 02:16:21 The Architects leave; a caramel-and-oats scent passes by; Matt's closing narration gives the consequences of Pamela's death and ends the episode.
- 02:18:11 A next-episode preview begins (see Table talk).
Frames
Key quotes
- “a planned ambush scenario here with our Scrumptious Scoundrels” — Matt 0:00:44
- “I'm gonna pass on that one there, chief, but yeah, I like the gusto.” — Raphaniel 0:09:03
- “I'm kind of a, slit your throat in a whorehouse kinda gal.” — Karna 0:18:08
- “I don't wanna lose the element of surprise” — Zac 0:32:23
- “Her Majesty ran forward, yelled \"Mind Sliver\" at the top of her lungs and then zagged away.” — Lou 0:45:49
- “He's a spy!” — Delissandro 1:10:30
- “Welcome to the family.” — Lou 1:26:20
- “I follow my queen.” — Gummy Bear Knight 1:42:44
- “Accomplishment.” — Anjali 1:54:22
- “Is it done?” — Matt 2:11:37
Who and what appears
Player characters
- Bishop Raphaniel Charlock
- Colin Provolone
- Karna Solara
- Lady Amangeaux Epicée Du Peche
- Thane Delissandro Katzon
NPCs
- Archbishop Camille Colliflour
- Ax sentry
- Banana Man
- Canadian
- Candian royal guards
- Chocolate knights
- Darren "Dishless" Quichéi
- Hooded figure in the carriage
- Mold creature
- Peppermint-blade sentry
- Queen Pamelia Rocks
- Spear and shield guardian
- The Wall
Locations
- Beaucoup-de-Graines
- Candia
- Castle Candy
- Ceresia
- Crevasse
- Fructeran landscape
- Glucian Road
- Lightcress
- Meat Lands
- Site of the queen's ambush
- The cavern
Items and artifacts
- Amangeaux's ring
- Bacon shield
- Blueberries, oranges and a lemon
- Colin's cheese-rind dagger
- Cured
- Hand crossbows
- Lantern
- Longsword of Wounding
- Raphaniel's crozier
- Reaper
- Satchel
- Starfruit mounts
- Water-steel dagger
- Watermelon Carriage
Factions and organizations
Creatures
Roll log
| Time | Character (player) | Roll | Result | DC / AC | Outcome |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 00:05:28 | Deli (Lou) | Perception | natural 20, total 20 | — | surveys the land |
| 00:18:59 | Raphaniel (Brennan) | Investigation (blueberries) | 18 | — | same type as the pyramid pillars |
| 00:22:33 | Deli (Lou) | Survival (lemon) | 14 | — | lemon too heavy |
| 00:30:36 | Colin (Zac) | Perception, disadvantage | 12 | — | sees the Watermelon Carriage |
| 00:39:11 | Amangeaux (Anjali) | Perception | 10 | — | cannot see details inside |
| 00:41:13 | Quichéi (Matt) | Initiative | natural 20 | — | goes first |
| 00:40:48–00:41:27 | Amangeaux 21, Raphaniel 17, Karna 10, Colin 12, Deli 7 | Initiative | as said | — | order of turns |
| 00:41:51 | Quichéi (Matt) | attacks, two shortswords | 23 and natural 20 | — | two hits to the torso |
| 00:43:18 | Amangeaux (Anjali) | Acrobatics | 12 | — | gets most of the way |
| 00:44:33 | hooded figure (Matt) | Intelligence save vs Mind Sliver | 18 | 14 | saves |
| 00:47:14 | Raphaniel (Brennan) | Deception (Subtle Spell) | 27 | — | seems surprised by Shatter |
| 00:50:32 | Colin (Zac) | attack, longsword | "a dirty 20" (total) | — | hits |
| 00:50:43 | ax sentry (Matt) | Wisdom save | 8 | 15 | fails; extra necrotic damage |
| 00:52:40 | Karna (Aabria) | Eldritch Blast | natural 1 (total 10) and 27 [or 28] | — | first beam wide, second hits for 11 force |
| 00:55:15 | gummy bear guardian (Matt) | hand crossbow | 20 to hit | — | 7 piercing on Karna |
| 00:56:21 | Deli (Lou) | Athletics | 15 | — | jumps the cherries |
| 00:56:48 | Deli (Lou) | shove attack | 23 | — | hits |
| 00:57:10 | Deli (Lou) vs sentry (Matt) | contested Athletics | 23 vs 13 | — | sentry thrown into the river |
| 00:58:19 | crossbow guards (Matt) | attacks on Karna, disadvantage | 12 and 16 | — | 16 hits, 8 piercing |
| 00:58:47 | Karna (Aabria) | concentration save | natural 20 | — | holds Silence |
| 00:59:08 | crossbow guards (Matt) | attacks on Amangeaux, half cover | 11 and 14 | — | miss |
| 00:59:54 | Quichéi (Matt) | attacks | 16 and 21 | — | both hit, 3 damage |
| 01:01:19 | Amangeaux (Anjali) | hand crossbow | 22 (15 + 7) | — | 8 damage; sentry falls into the river |
| 01:02:32 | Amangeaux (Anjali) | Acrobatics | 17 plus 7 | — | lands behind the bridge |
| 01:04:18 | Raphaniel (Brennan) | Acrobatics (adds 4) | "a three" | — | lands prone, 1 bludgeoning |
| 01:05:39 | Raphaniel (Brennan) | Constitution save (concentration) | 11 (13 minus 2) | 10 | keeps Heroism |
| 01:07:08 | peppermint sentry (Matt) | Athletics (swim) | 22 | — | reaches shore |
| 01:09:41 | Colin (Zac) | attack | 13 plus 6 | — | hits the banana man; 12 damage kills |
| 01:11:04 | Colin (Zac) | Athletics | 17 | — | back on the bridge |
| 01:11:43 | Colin (Zac) | Stealth, disadvantage | 17 and 13, 19 | — | partly obscured |
| 01:12:37 | Karna (Aabria) | Intimidation | 7, then 19 with advantage | — | sentry halts and looks around |
| 01:14:13 | gummy bear guardian (Matt) | shield slam | 24 | — | the 24 would roll the orange 15 feet; after Silvery Barbs the Box of Doom roll 13 "only gets it about 10 feet" (01:14:45, 01:15:38) |
| 01:17:10 | Deli (Lou) | Perception | 3 | — | sees four figures reloading |
| 01:18:11 | Deli (Lou) | Athletics (kick door) | 13 | — | door splinters |
| 01:19:25 | Deli (Lou) | attacks on Pamela | 14 and 24 | AC 12 | 16 damage |
| 01:20:06 | Deli (Lou) vs guard (Matt) | contested shove | 23 vs 16 | — | guard thrown out of the carriage |
| 01:20:38 | Deli (Lou) | Action Surge attacks | 22; 10 (13 with Bardic) | AC 12 | both hit, 16 damage |
| 01:21:56 | royal guards (Matt) | attacks of opportunity | 21 and 20 | — | 15 and 14 slashing |
| 01:23:15 | Deli (Lou) | Wisdom save vs Pompous Mockery | 15 | — | succeeds |
| 01:23:59 | royal guard (Matt) | attacks | 24 and 12 | — | 11 slashing |
| 01:24:21 | Deli (Lou) | opportunity attack | 12 | — | deflected |
| 01:24:42 | royal guard (Matt) | attack | 17 | — | misses |
| 01:26:13 | Quichéi (Matt) | attacks and Action Surge | 22, 23, 17, 18 | — | 7 damage on the last; frosty guard hurt |
| 01:26:57 | chocolate warrior (Matt) | attacks on Deli | 19 and 12 | — | both miss |
| 01:29:40 | Raphaniel (Brennan) | Shatter damage | 14 | Con DC 15 | the frosty guard (Quichéi's earlier target) saves, takes half and still dies |
| 01:30:25 | butterscotch guard (Matt) | Constitution save | 14 | 15 | fails; 14 thunder |
| 01:35:32 | Colin (Zac) | Constitution save (with Bardic) | 14 | 15 | fails; 14 thunder |
| 01:36:32 | Karna (Aabria) | opportunity attack | 19 | AC 18 | hits; 12 damage with psychic blades |
| 01:38:30 | Colin (Zac) | thrown dagger | 15 | — | misses |
| 01:39:00 | Colin (Zac) | Action Surge push attack | 19; target's Strength save 13 | DC 14 | 19 damage; knocked into the water |
| 01:40:08 | Karna (Aabria) | attack (Green-Flame Blade) | 20 | — | 23 damage |
| 01:43:05 | Amangeaux (Anjali) | held attack with Bardic | 17 (7, 7, plus 3) | — | misses |
| 01:43:23 | gummy bear guardian (Matt) | attacks on Raphaniel | 24 (15 after Silvery Barbs), 19 | AC 22 | no hit |
| 01:45:21 | Deli (Lou) | Second Wind | 14 | — | healing |
| 01:46:04 | Deli (Lou) | attacks | 20 hits (Matt also says "Natural 18", unattributed) | — | 14 damage kills the butterscotch guard |
| 01:52:16 | Raphaniel 14, Amangeaux 24, Karna 24, Colin 11, Deli 13, Quichéi 19 | group Stealth | as said | — | the party goes unseen |
| 01:54:15 | Quichéi (Matt) | Detect Thoughts deeper probe | 9 | — | reads "Accomplishment" |
| 01:55:26 | Deli (Lou) | Perception | 6 | — | sees nothing |
| 01:56:12 | Karna (Aabria) | Eldritch Blast x2 | 27 and 21 | — | 20 force damage |
| 01:58:14 | Deli (Lou) | attacks on prone creature | natural 20; natural 20 | — | 24 damage |
| 01:59:12 | Deli (Lou) | Constitution save, Bardic | 14, then 19 | — | 7 poison, not poisoned |
| 02:01:12 | Raphaniel (Brennan) | Arcana, advantage | 22 | — | unknown to him |
Natural 20s: Deli 3 (00:05:28, 01:58:14, 01:58:17), Karna 1 (00:58:47), Quichéi (NPC) 2 (00:41:13, 00:41:51) · Natural 1s: Karna 1 (00:52:40) · "Dirty 20" totals (not naturals): Colin 1.